Writing Feedback / The graph below shows how much money a city council gave to the book clubs over a four-year period [3]

The given line graph illustrate amount of money donated by city council to book clubs in past four years. Overall, it can be seen from the graph that there was a fluctuation contribution from city parliament to the book associations while it provides an upward trend for a number of book club members over the period.

At the beginning of the period, city congress donated £20,000 to these associations. Then, it increased steadily of £25,000 in the second year. This particular upward trend continued for the following year and it reached a peaked at £40,000. However, in the end of the period, council donations to the book clubs decreased suddenly to just over £5,000.

On the other hand, book club members experienced an upward trend until end of the period although there was a slight decrease in the first two-years period but it dramatically went up to 10000 members in the third years. However, it reached a peaked at 12000 people in the fourth year.

In conclusion, there was no significant relation between how much the city charity that given and the number of book club members at the end of the period.

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Writing Feedback / The kids are alright - if you leave them alone [3]

From two western parenting books: The Gardener and the Carpenter by Alison Gopnik and The End of American Childhood by Paula Fass.

Both of the books reveal how parenting has shifted over the 20th century. In this present era, Western parents have made a lot of rules given a dozen of advice for their children. As the result, it has made a number of children get stressful.

Gopnik wrote that parents just like a gardener who provides a fertile soil and looks after their plants naturally. Parents, therefore, should care to their children proportionally in order that they can fully develop their talents or ambitions.

Whereas, Fass told that in the past, parenting just had a simple goal that thought to be able to survive. For instance, American Children were more independent because they worked and help their family also experienced slavery in the Civil War II.

newscientist.com/article/mg23130874-500-the-kids-are-alright-if-you-leave-them-alone/

Writing Feedback / TED Summary: For tolerance, we need more tourism [3]

By Aziz Abu Sarah

He is a Palestinian and he grew up in Palestine. However, he did not want to be a soldier when he was a child. He realized that revenge should only build a wall separating people to others. B the time, he has decided to dedicate his life to establish peace in his country. He has thought about sort of ways to do that. Eventually he found that tourism is one of the ways to make his dream come true. He believes that tourism can build friendships. He gave an example from his experience when he founded a tour aimed to connect people. He had two tour guides who are an Israeli and a Palestinian. During the tour they co-operate to tell their history, archaeology, narrative, and conflict differently. However, tourists who join in the trip absolutely enjoyed their vacation. They tasted Palestine's traditional food made by his mother and listened Israel's original music together. As the result, tourist's relationship that made because of this trip has still existed in these days. In conclusion, he said that tourism which has direct interaction with local inhabitants can build peace worldwide.

Writing Feedback / Having a job that you love doing make you happier - IELTS WRITING TASK 2 [7]

Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important. Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy?

Nowadays, some people believe that they have to choose job they love to do in order to be happier. However, in my opinion there are other things that affect to have the happiness.

Deciding what job we want to do is important. Job is our ambition that we have when we were young and job is our future. We used half of our live to learn how to be able to do it in schools. Then we are going to spend our future to do it. We will do the same routinity every day. Therefore it may make us bored, stess and unhappy. To avoid these unpleasant possibilities we should have a job that we love to do because it make us happy as long as we do it.

Several factors like how much your salary, how long your work time and how pleasant your environment will affect your mental health. If you earn less money from your job you may get mental illness like stress to think about how you can pay for your live services. Another factor is how much time do you spend in a week to work. When you have no time even to see your friends or just enjoying your leisure time because of your job, you may lose your happiness, feel lonely and become sick. Also your office environment will touch your physicology because you meet the same people every day. If they are good individuals and very enjoyable you may fell comfort and grateful. Whereas, not all people in your work place seem like that. Sometimes you will find annoying people around you. Thus it can disturb you.

In conclusion, i believe that to be happier with our job we should love it. Beside that, we should consider some factors that have impacts to our happiness as well.

Writing Feedback / Education in India: Are students failing or the system? [2]

TED summary

Sonam Wangchuk, an engineer, went to Ladakh to find his engineering study but eventually he and his friends established a student educational and cultural movement of Ladakh. Ladakh is a mountain desert located at 11.000 feet in the range shadow of Himalaya. Ladakh has minority society, culture, linguistic and crucial problem of education. He surprised that 95 percent of 10 degree students failed on their exam. He believes that it is failure of the system and not the student.

During seven years he succeeded to improve the quantity of student who passed the exam from 5 percent to 55 percent and went up to 75 percent in 2015. However, he did not leave the students who still had failed. He built a special residential school for them. In his view, they can explore the world and repair their failure. In these alternative school he set up a simulation country where there is a presidential election every two months, news paper campus , radio campus and so on. They experienced the real life role. Hence, at the end of the school they were mature to face the world. Moreover, in the school they performed many experiments and then they discovered many precious inventions.

Writing Feedback / Emissions if Cows Keep Cutting the Cheese? [2]

California's decision to keep emissions of methane is opposed by a local dairy industry. Amount of methane come from respiration and manure of cattle. It is not as dangerous as carbon dioxide but it is counted 25 times more than carbon dioxide producing from industrial factories.

Dairy company has protested the policy of limiting gas from cattle, government are considering a law about cattle diet. Government aims to enforce new manure management practices that help to diminish amount of methane produced from cattle. It is an effort from The California Air Resources Board that has targeted to reduce methane emission by 40 percent by 2030, from 2013 levels.

However, this regulation has refused by dairy companies. They claimed that it just a strategy to fell the future of California dairy industry. In other side, earth has witnessed not only more extreme climate change for the latest 14 months but also the increasing of temperature and sea level. Until at the moment California has adjusted the idea from Argentina to convert the manure into green energy.

wired.com/2016/08/can-california-cut-methane-emissions-cows-keep-cutting-cheese/

Writing Feedback / Several televised talent shows have their own purpose to reach. IELTS WRITING TASK 2 [2]

Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?

In many countries, talent shows in television have become popular performances. Half of these programs are aimed to find many amazing talented people. Meanwhile, others are made to just entertain the societies. In my view, only few of those programs have risen new stars successfully while other shows only present amateurish artists.

There are a number of unexpected people who have outstanding talent discovered by televised talent programs. One of them is One Direction that formed in Britain Got Talent. Before this show there were ordinary people but now they are one of the most famous group singers worldwide. Talent program gave them an opportunity to show out their extraordinary ability. If this program has not existed they should not be as famous as now.

However, in many developing countries televised talent programs just serve entertainment shows and ignore to find new talented people because of a reason. They want to serve a phenomenal performance that attracts more people to watch without pay too much money to the artists. . For example, in Indonesia there are more than five different talent shows during six months and more than fifty people chosen as finalists. These shows just entertain their consumers commercially ifor amount of time. Therefore, related company will experience much more profit instead of paying for known artist.

In conclusion, several televised talent shows have their own purpose to reach. Whether it is to find natural ability or to just entertain.

Writing Feedback / The Panama Pepers exposed a huge global problem [4]

TED summary

David Palmer from global Witness elucidated a great number of data exposed by The Panama Papers on April, 2016. To uncover those unclear problems, he and his organization conducted an investigation. They positioned theirselves as clients and banks that want to establish an erroneous company so that they discovered how it works and operates.

Many rich and powerful persons have used Panama Papers to concealed their asset and wealth to avoid high taxes. As a result, they spend less money contributing to public services such as healthcare, road and education. This revealed scaldal has caused diverse public reactions. However, most societies have not understood about this phenomena.

Starting at the moment David and Global witness have encouraged a lot of people around the world to aware and stop the secrecy of those hiding their money illegally because it can caused more tax avoidance, corruption and money laundering

Writing Feedback / Intel Reinvents Itself to Stay King in a Changing World [3]

Intel is one of the biggest computer company around the world. Nowadays there are a number of similar factory as Intel and as the result, Intel have faced a global competition. In order to win that competition, Intel is reflecting its product to prove that it can build cheaper chips that can accelerate any modern technology. In the market, people moved from only classic CPU to ordering Internet services and by the time, Internet services have been encouraged to be faster.

To reach their ambition, Intel have established some cooperation with other companies. One of the companies is Altera, a programmable chip company. Intel spent 16.7 billion US dollars to gain it. As the result, it helps the Microsoft search engine, inside Bing. Another company is Nervana ,a startup building chips, which helps Intel to analyze plenty data. Also Intel cost 408 million US dollars for Nervana. This actions have been taking to ensure that their Internet services become faster to hold on both online services and post-CPU workloads.

wired.com/2016/08/intel-remakes-changing-world/

Writing Feedback / What Islam really says about women: TED summery [3]

According to Alaa Murabit, as a young moslem woman she never thought that God judge women differently based on gender because her parents also have never discriminate her.

When she lived in Libya during the revolutionary, she found that women were included to make the policy. Their aspiration, their opinion were respected. But after that, they came back to their own position. However, She wants that situation can become permanent condition. Because she believes that Islam gives women the same position as men. Then she gave an example for an innovative woman ,Khadijah r.a. She was a woman who had an important position not only in economic system but also in millitary, and political system. Therefore, she and her organization have demonstrated the woman right in Libya, they came to every school, every building even every mosque. Eventually, for the first time the local imam in Libya promoted the right of women.

She believes that women should have equal positions as men because their participation can make an enormous changes worldwide.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Agree and disagree with the effect of modern communication to social lives [2]

modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend to see their friends. this has had a negative effect on their social lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree.

Modern technology has reformed human communication system dramatically. Most people believe that it brings negative impacts on social interactions. However, I argue that technologies make less quantity on human interactions because there are more positive impacts from the revolutionary technology.

In the past, people had limit access to interact with other people in the other area. They, therefore, built good relationship in a small community. In contrast, nowadays a great number of electronic inventions have allowed people to establish an extended relationship. As a result, they can communicate with their friends abroad by internet applications such as skype, facebook, line and so on. Moreover, i believe that modern communication can help people to maintain their social interactions because at the moment people have faster movement. Therefore, they actually need such technology to keep thei friends in touch. I cannot imagine how people at this time can live without the technology to communicate each others.

In other hand, I insure that a technology can be useful depending on their user but people who use modern communication may forget to have an interaction with their friends beside them. For example, someone does not want to make a conversation with people they met in a train or a bus. Therefore, they become careless with strangers and too busy with their gadgets.

In conclusion, using modern technology to communicate can build extended social interactions and better relationship. However, they also should pay attention to other people around them so that they may have great social lives in modern era.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WTITING TASK 1: how journey times in a city centre changed after improvements were made to the [4]

The table and bar chart show how journey times in a city centre changed after improvements were made to the transport network, and the costs of using different forms of transport in the city.

The table shows how long it took to travel around a city before and after transport network was improved. The bar graph shows how much it cost to travel different form of transport in the city.

The best improvement of time duration was experienced by tram. It fell from 22 minutes to only 16 minutes. In the similar way with tram, bus became faster than before although it still took 23 minutes. Meanwhile, the fastest transport before the advancement, taxi, became slower by decreasing 3 minutes. However, taxi still the fastest vehicle to travel in the city.

Meanwhile, the bar graph reveals that taxi was the most expensive form of transport because it costed for nearly Є1.80. In the folowed list was car that spent about Є1.00. While tram and bus were cheaper. They took only Є0.40 and Є0.20.

To sum up, after the refinement of transport network tram witnessed the most significant improvement in time of journey in the city and took more economically budget. While, taxi was still the fastest transport but it was the most expensive among others.

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Writing Feedback / Working or traveling before starting the studying has pluses and minuses to be considered by youths [2]

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In the space time from the end of high school to the begining of university, teenagers in several countries go to work or a vacation. Both of them have some benefits but in the opposite, it should be considered by the adolescents.

In that changed period, immature people have more leisure time because their routines are going to change. Therefore, if they decide to do somethng in that period such working or traveling they can get some positive output. Firstly, those who decide to work may have new job experiences that should train their skill. Moreover, they become independent because they may earn money by themselves. Secondly, if they determine to go to somewhere they also may have some meaningful journey. They can learn something new like to be more grateful and more mature person. Beside that, having a journey can make them refresh and reenergizing because they enjoy new atmosphere and meet numerous new persons.

However, every decision has risks. Although deciding to get a job and go to somewhere are good choices they have some disadvantages. The first one is devide their consentration about academic study because while do the other activities young people may decrease their memories about their related subject. Therefore, it may affect their accievement in the university. Another reason is when someone have been independent or can earn money they don't want to study any more.

To sum up, working or traveling before starting the study at university has plus and minus to be considered by young people.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: Practice test - purpose and destination of visit abroad by UK residents [2]

The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destination over the same period.

The provided tables show the information about the intention and destinations of Britain people traveling abroad during five years. Overall, most people went to holiday abroad and the most popular destination was Western Europe.

The first table reveals that visiting abroad for holiday was the most common plan because from 1994 it was accounted for around 15,000 persons and up to 2,000 persons in 1998. Other intent was to go to work and to visit colleagues that were made for around 2,000 to 3,000 persons in that periode. While for uncertain purpose was considered as the least for just around 1,000 persons for the given time.

In the similar way, the number of visitors were increased that was about 19,000 travelers in 1994 and for more than 24,000 travelers in 1998. Meanwhile Western Europe was more famous than North America. It compared 20 : 1.

In conclusion, the greatest number of travelers from the great Britain visited Western Europe to enjoy vacation and in the fact it increased from 1994 to 1998.

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