Writing Feedback / Healthy way of life promotion. Most of children are accustomed with unhealthy lifestyle. [3]

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

In modern era, most of children are accustomed to have unhealthy way of life. General people believe this is responsibility of schools and parents. I personally agree with this belief even though government also has a main role to overcome this trouble. Teachers should educate young people to be aware about healthy lifestyle while parents have to facilitate healthy lifestyle for their kids when they are at home. In addition, parliament should also make policy that will support teachers and parents' spirit to live healthily.

Young people aged 5-12-years-old receive teachers' advice better than their parents' guidance because most of them think that teachers are cleverer than their parents. Therefore, there will be some advantages for children if schools encourage them to keep healthy. For example, teacher can inform them a range of healthy food and some activities to keep fit.

However, children will exist in real life when they are not in schools. Hence, in this situation parents have to maintain their health. For instance, mothers can make a healthy lunch box for their kids, and provide daily healthy diet for their family. Another example is they can do regularly exercise in week end day together in order to develop healthy habit. In fact, other component of society, government, have important role to promote the healthy lifestyle. They can make regulations in order to encourage teachers and parents concern about their children's health condition.

In conclusion, both schools and parents have an essential role to maintain children's health because they are the closest figure for the young people. However, authority is vital as well since they have capacity to increase the healthy lifestyle of young people by standing for not only parents but also educators .

Writing Feedback / (TED Talks) Why good hackers make good citizens [3]

According to Catherine Bracy, hacking is not always a bad action. She said that Benjamin Franklin was the greatest hacker of all time because of because his belief that government can be built by the people. Catherine defined those as civic hackers who support government to overcome dozen of problems. She explained what civic hackers exactly looks like. For example, they build a new super simple website to answer common questions from people in Honolulu and Auckland called 'Honolulu Answers' and 'Auckland Answers' since local inhabitants face trouble to interact with government's websites. She believes that civic hacking can rebuild citizenship and rebuild trust in government. Therefore, citizens can participate to take action of parliament's problems and cooperate to fix them. Moreover, she and her team has followed Benjamin Franklin's foot step by founding 31 Brigade in America and they will open their first international Brigade in Poland, Japan, and Ireland. Their goal is to set up broader civic hacker network.

Writing Feedback / The cycle of silkworms' life and the silk cloth manufacturing process are presented on the diagram [3]

The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stage in the production of silk cloth.

The first diagram draws a cycle of silkworms' life and the second diagram reveals the process to produce silk cloth. It can be seen that the silkworm has four phases; egg, silkworm larva, silk thread, and cocoon, whereas silk cloth takes five steps; select, boil, unwind, twist, and weave.

Biological life cycle of silkworm is begun when female moth laid its eggs on mulberry leaf. The second step in which the eggs hatch takes 10 days. In this stage, silkworm larva feed mulberry leaf. Then, in the next 4 - 6 weeks larva make its silk thread. After 3-8 days letter, in the fourth phase, silk thread completely changes into a cocoon and it takes 16 days before the cocoon finally metamorphose into moth.

On the other hand, another diagram shows how to create silk cloth. Firstly, it needs to select the cocoon. Secondly, the selected cocoon is put into boiling water. In the next process, cocoon is unwound and it can produce 300 to 900 metres of thread. After that, it is twisted and dyed. The final stage is that thread is woven into cloth then it is dyed once again.

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Writing Feedback / Parents have responsibility to teach children respectable attitude to live in society [2]

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

Many people assume that parents have responsibility to teach children respectable attitude to live in society, whereas other individuals presume that school is competent to do this duty. In my view both parents and schools should educate children to become good members of community. However, I believe parents have more essential role to accomplish this goal due to a main reason that parents have to teach children in early years.

Parents are the first school to children. They have been supposed to put some essential value such ability to co-operate with others, and responsibility in their kids as their preceding years. It is important because it can be difficult to teach those values when children get older. For example, those can involve their children to do housework by giving a personal task to each child. Hence, Children should have good behave to work in a group and reliable personality when they live in a society.

On the other hand, schools also have to educate children about other social value that are not given by parents. School can develop children's attitude in larger community. For example children can learn about how to give their opinion in front of class and how to appreciate other arguments. It will teach them how to act respectably when they exist in real social life.

In conclusion, both parents and school have to shape good personality of children so that kids can behave as good members of community. As the first educators for children, parents are supposed to concern about their behavior because it can affect children's attitude in social life.

Writing Feedback / Bulgarians' who planned to come to other country - their education level has been evaluated [3]

The chart below gives information about the level of education of Bulgarian people who wanted to go live in another country in 2002, 2006 and 2008.

The bar chart reveals the percentage of Bulgarians' plan to come to other country in three different years, 2002, 2006, and 2008 based on their education level. It can be seen that Bulgarian people with secondary education level were the largest number that want to leave Bulgaria. Other noticeable point is a gradual increase of plan made by Bulgarians with primary and lower education level.

In 2002 there was a peak for the percentage of Bulgarians with secondary education level, at 65 per cent. However this percentage fell slightly not only in 2006 consisted of 61 per cent but also in 2008 made for 59 per cent. In fact, this group was considerably the largest number of Bulgarian people who wanted to visit and immigrate to another country.

On the other hand, a rapid rise was shown by persons with primary and lower education. Their desire to come and live in another country was accounted for 18 per cent in 2006, then increased in 19 per cent in 2006 and reached 32 per cent in 2008. Group of people with higher education level, however, was the lowest percentage of Bulgarians planning to leave which consisted of 17 per cent in 2002 and dropped to 9 per cent in 2008.

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Writing Feedback / Healthy lifestyle is difficult to have in modern world, but simple efforts can make our life better [NEW]

Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In this present era, many people promote unhealthy lifestyles. However, others believe that it is possible to have healthy lifestyle if they are eager to obtain it. In my opinion, general people can enjoy healthier life by doing simple efforts such as consuming nutritious food and doing exercise regularly.

The changing process of lifestyle is begun by the advancing technology. Since the earlier inventions humans have been accustomed to live easier by a lot of help from diverse technology. These days, therefore, it has changed most of humans' activities to be more sedentary. Societies are prone to consume high-engineering food and avoid physical activity. For example, they prefer to eat kind of quick meal at lunch than to prepare a lunch box and inhabitants are more likely choose to drive than to walk. As the result, individuals' lifestyle change to be unhealthy.

On the other hand, simple efforts can lead healthier lifestyle for population. Firstly, those are supposed to change their eating habit. They should consume healthy food. It can be done by preparing their daily diet or by ordering healthy food from restaurant that serve organic food and low fat food. Another solution to be healthier is by choosing to walk or bike for reaching their work places. It can be much better than doing occasionally exercise in gyms. Thus, it is easy to enjoy life healthily.

In conclusion, several technologies could be encouraged people to have unhealthy lifestyle. In fact, it is not difficult to obtain a healthy lifestyle because it is can be done by uncomplicated ways. In addition, to have healthy lifestyle, people should be aware that maintaining health is more important than getting recovery.

Writing Feedback / Ontario staffing job for teaching English suddenly fell down (2005-2007 timeframe) to just under 30% [3]

The line graph reveals the percentage of new graduates who found jobs as teachers of English and French in Ontario over a six year period from 2001 to 2007. According to the data, the employment for English-language educators decreased significantly during the period. On the other hand, a trend for French-language teachers witnessed a slight increase with a part of fluctuation. Overall, it can be seen that recruitment for those who teach English became less than before while French teachers experienced a rapid rise from 2001 to 2007.

In the first two years, the proportion of English educators fell from just over 72 per cent to 40 per cent. Data of French teachers, however, went up and down in this period. In the three following years, there was a stable trend not only for the number of English educators but also for French language educators in around 40 per cent and 70 per cent.

Unfortunately, staffing job for teaching English suddenly fell down again to just under 30 per cent from 2005 to 2007. In fact, profession as French teachers decreased of about 3 per cent in 2006 but it peaked at in the end of the period.

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Writing Feedback / Suzana Herculano-Houzel: What is so special about the human brain? [2]

This essay is a summary of Suzana Herculano's speech posted in Tedtalk.com. The original tittle of the video is "What is so special about the human brain?"

Suzana said that she has wondered about evidence given by scientific research that related to human brain and asked a question why it is so special. Firstly, does size of human brain make significant difference? We have more number of neuron than other animals. Each person, however, has a brain with average 1.5 kilograms weight. It is almost three times smaller compared to an elephant brain. In fact we have better function of brain. Another question comes from study about time spent by primate for feeding. For instance, orang need 8 hours per day feeding in order to obtain their brain energy. In fact, humans need more energy to make their brain working but this fact means we have to spend ten hours for eating. However, it is impossible for us. Then, she asked what reason that makes humans able to accomplish more advanced way for living than other primates do? According to Suzana, the answer is the invention of cooking. Cooking makes human time for feeding shorter and gives them more time to do other work. Cooking has caused human brain much more functional. Then, cooking has made human the most special among other animal brain.

Writing Feedback / Summary: Dyslexic Designers Just Think Different-Maybe Even Better [3]

This summary is summed up from an article posted in wired.com. Its original tittle is ''Dyslexic Designers Just Think Different-Maybe Even Better''.

Ordinary people may never think about an exhibit involving dyslexic designers. However, it has run from London to Yorkshire these days. Jim Rokos, a London-based industrial designer, expect that this exhibit can encourage general people to see what dyslexia designer already do. Dyslexia is defined as a literacy disorder in which individual has difficulty to read, write and spell. Unexpectedly, a dyslexic person has great problem-solving skills and amount of creativity. According to Roko's theory, one of five people is dyslexia but it is really hard to identify. Actually, this exhibit will be opened on September 22, Rokos hope that this event could explore a great ability of dyslexia and change others perspective about it.

wired.com/2016/08/dyslexic-designers-just-think-different-maybe-even-better/

Writing Feedback / Should the media report ordinary people lives more than celebrities' lives? IELTS WRITING TASK 1 [2]

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The lives of public figures get more appreciation from society. This cause mass media write more reports about them. However, many people argue that lives of ordinary persons should be informed more than the celebrities' lives. I personally agree with this opinion because those may have more meaningful story than famous people lives.

Most celebrities like actors, singers or sportsmen have glamour lifestyle. They are accustomed to live in a luxury house or use expensive facilities. As a result, people always curious about them and the mass media use this situation to get more profit. Undoubtedly, it has caused increase of information that share about those lives. However, it is less benefit for one thing that is just gives temporary entertainment. For instance, people may enjoy watching a reality show but they also may become bored soon afterward. Hence, I believe it is useless because it gives less advantage for audiences.

The media are supposed to report benefit information which gives advantages to their customers such to educate people or to inspire others. Some programs that explore ordinary lives are better than celebrities programs. For example, a program called ''Orang Pinggiran" shows lives of the poor and disability persons. It tells the spectators to be more grateful and to help others which have weaknesses. These reports are more meaningful than revealing luxury lifestyle of public figures. The reason is there is there are more important values inside of them.

In conclusion, the mass media should explore more information from ordinary people than famous one because it can share more social values such as kindness and way to be grateful. Therefore, I believe that this information is more valuable than the exploring of celebrities' lives.

Writing Feedback / How a wind turbine will be built and where it is located [4]

The diagrams illustrate how a wind turbine will be built and where it is located. A wind turbine consists of a steel tower, a blade, a wind sensor and a generator. Those are connected to computer system. Wind plants are established in beaches.

Wind turbine is designed to generated energy from wind. Therefore, it is built by set up a steel tower which has three blades made of fibreglass or wood in its top. On the same part, it is completed by wind sensor in order to measure wind speed and direction. As the blades are moved by wind, generator produces 1.5 megawatt electricity. The direction and angle of wind then adjusts with the blades.

The wind plants can be built in to areas closed to coast. One can be located in the depressions while it can produce maximum wind energy if it is set in the hill. The location should be free where the landscape will not spoil the wind turbine. Therefore, a domestic turbine such given by the diagrams can generate 100 kilowatts electricity.

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Writing Feedback / On Women's Equality Day, More Tech Companies Promise Change [2]

This is a summary of an article posted in wired.com/2016/08/womens-equality-day-tech-companies-promise-change/.

Its original tittle is "On Women's Equality Day, More Tech Companies Promise Change". Women Equality Day for 45 years maybe is a golden opportunity for women in US because of some reasons. Firstly, it can make US residents be aware that women still have unequality. For instance, they earn less money than men in the same interval. Another reason is average of American female are difficult to get higher positions in certain jobs such as among technical positions and at the management level.

However, in this occasion a first foot step to reach women parity had happened. A pledge, the White House Equal Pay Pledge, has been approved by several tech companies included in a new group of Silicon Valley. This commitment is wished as serious intentions of tech giant to overcome gender gaps in US.

Writing Feedback / Malte Spitz: Your phone company is watching [4]

This essay is a summary of Malte Spitz speech posted in Tedtalk.com. The original tittle of the video is ''Your phone company is watching''

Mobile phone makes people possible to find out many new activities. However, people have to be aware about self-determination they have. It is related to all data that our mobile companies have. Malte has an experience for asking his data to the companies. He said that he has requested it for several time but the firm rejected it, although they gave it in a number of month later. Malte explained it is important for him because it is his live. He wanted to know what has been done by his self. After he accepted the data he explored it in the internet. He found that the data stored all of his information for six month. Consequently, he claimed if ordinary people have all of their data they can manage their society well. In addition, he showed a blue print of China telecommunication that is a very complex network. He thought that companies have disturbed residents' privacy. Therefore he persuaded others to save their privacy.

Writing Feedback / The happiness level of US inhabitants between those who are married and those single ones. [2]

The charts below shoe the results of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US and the effect of children on overall rating of married couples. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts compare the happiness levels of US inhabitants between those have marriage and ones do not have. It also show how having children affected married life. Overall, it can be seen that married people reached higher level of happiness than single ones whereas the percentage of having children did not give significant effect for both married and unmarried people.

Wedded people aged 18-20-year-old was the happiest group in this survey. It obtained about 45 per cent happiness ratings. In the following position were couples in middle age made for 44 per cent. However, those aged 50-64 year-old enjoyed the lowest level of the gladness accounted for 40 per cent.

On the other hand, unmarried individuals had a considerable difference of enjoyment levels compared to married ones. There were three age groups including people aged 18-64-year-old having a similar level of happiness, at around 20 per cent. Nevertheless, elderly who have no legal bond had the highest percentage of happiness for unmarried categories. In fact, having children or not made less sense for the spouses. Those breeding children under 18 years old or above levelled in nearly 44 per cent. In other side, having no children made 43 per cent pleasure ratings for the married couples.

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Writing Feedback / Many individuals believe that having independent companies gives them more advantages [3]

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

Many individuals believe that having independent companies gives them more advantages than being an employee in factories or corporations. I personally agree with this opinion because an entrepreneur could obtain more beneficial results than workers get. Although, founding personal business has a small part of risks.

There are two main risks and disadvantages from standing up a new business independently. The one that gives most fraud is the high probability for fail. Most of famous entrepreneurs have dozen of failures. They become succeed by trial and error process. A further disadvantage is that you should have a big financial capital and extra efforts to build your private company. However, most of people avoid this because they have to apply for a large amount of banking loan in order to acquire enough capital. As a consequent, you must pay for its high interest charge.

On the other hand, founding own corporation gives us a big challenge to be more successful. Firstly, it is because we can open a new job vacancy to employ others. In other word, this seems like to be more helpful because helping others might make us satisfy. Another advantage is that it can be earn more money compared to working for other companies. A boss will have more profit from his business than an employee. Moreover, most of businessmen may become a famous one. It is because they have to create a new trend in order to promote their products. Therefore, being an independent worker may make you as prominent as those legendary inventors.

In conclusion, instead of its risks, standing up own business has more advantages than being an employee. Those entrepreneurs might obtain satisfaction, earn more money, and become fame ones. Therefore I am convenient to suggest others to establish their own business.

Writing Feedback / Is fashion an important part of life? [2]

Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people assume that fashion relates to branded products. Therefore, those think that it is such luxury items. In fact, fashion is an essential need of life so it does not to cost much money. I believe that being fashionable is important for some reasons such as to make first impressive appearance and having good confidence. However, this does not mean that we have to buy expensive things.

Fashion in particularly cloth has advanced since the ancient century. In the earlier ages, it used as a primary necessity in order to keep human from cool temperature or from sunlight. In modern era, fashion is not only a basic need but also a way of life and its function has changed. These days, individuals have dressed on a wide range of cloth designs. They wear it to express their fashion styles or to reach their private intentions like making positive impression when they meet a business partner or relatives. In addition, dressing well and fashionable can make persons feeling good and confidence to interact with others.

On the other hand, people are not supposed to spend a lot of money to acquire it. Fashion depends on each personal income and also how it can fulfil our necessities. Some people on lower wage may obtain their fashion items by purchasing cheaper items in certain markets. For example, in Indonesia there are several markets that offer impressive fashion items with lower price. However, those items can address fashion needs and also basic necessities of cloths for the local inhabitants.

All in all, fashion cannot be separated from human life because it has important function. However, people should not cost too much for it. They can afford to buy those items in alternative market. Therefore, I would like to suggest others to more fashionable by purchase affordable things.