Writing Feedback / There are several ways of transport with different CO2 emissions (measured in kilograms). IELTS [2]

IELTS WRITING TASK 1 : PRACTICE

please give me corrections

The table and the bar chart below give information about travelling to work in Houston, Texas.
summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table gives information about percentage of guest per unite of transport and average age of travellers with four methods to work in Houston, Texas. At the same time, the bar chart shows there are several ways of transport with different usage of CO2 emissions and is measured in kilograms.

According to the table, there are four methods which is be used by travellers such as using car with one person, car with passengers, ride a bike or walk, and public transport. The majority tourists is using self driver to work at 48% and the last rank experienced by usage cycle. In addition, the oldest age of travellers using public transport such as bus or train approximately at 47 years old, while the youngest prefer to walk than using vehicle with average 39 years old.

On the other hand, every method of transport release different CO2 emissions, except usage bike or walk. The highest CO2 emissions occurs for self driver which can reach 0.32 kilograms per person every kilometre. Furthermore, using car with passengers takes in the second place approximately 0.07 kilograms per person per kilometre. The last one is using public transport with very small number proportion.

Overall, self driver is not only the highest percentage, but also causes the most pollution. Unfortunately, tourists are rarely using bike or walk to work, whereas this method is not give an pollution.

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Writing Feedback / There's a difference in the amount of read books among students, in regard to their gender [3]

WRITING TASK 1 : THE NUMBER OF LIBRARY BOOKS READ AT SCHOOL

The graph gives information about gender which is getting involved in the number of library books read at Starmouth School for four years from 2009 to 2012 and is measured in number of books read. It is noticeable that, during four years, boys increased gradually in the first year, but fluctuated for three years later. Besides, girls increased dramatically until the end of period.

As can be seen from the graph, in 2009, the number books read stood at 50, which is experienced by men. The number then rose significantly from 2009 to 2011 at 100. After that, in the last period, the figure decrease gradually to 80.

On the other hand, women which is the figure of books read increased gradually from 30 to 40 between 2009 and 2010. Furthermore, the number a dramatic increase until the end of period at 140. Overall, boys was higher than girls in 2009 but there was an opposite trend in the last year which are girls higher than boys.

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Writing Feedback / West Java aims for grand opening ceremony [6]

In this year, during a week from 17 September 2016 to 29 September 2016, West Java will be held PON (National Games) which is followed by several regions in Indonesia. After that,the opening ceremony shows many cultures and endorse environment which was belongs our country and it supported by cutting-edge technology.

There are several athletes came from every branches of sports for bring torchbearers during the ceremony. West Java Governor believe this event which is followed by 44 branches of sports will be riveting society of Indonesia. Furthermore, he is already to answer question which was inflict the problem.

However, in the last week there are many obstacles for example several possessions still stuck in North Jakarta, but The Governor who organized this event still doing the best for this times. In addition, the local government also planning to build up vacasional school among facilities of PON such as Gelora Bandung Lautan Api. Then, maintain the sporting venues that will be used in 2018 for the ASEAN games.

The last information, West Java take the first place then followed by Jakarta in the second place, the third position was occurred by East Java. Finally, this makes West Java more ambition to preserve their first position.

Writing Feedback / Two ways of pick up water for watering system from different water sources [3]

The diagram gives information about two ways of pick up water for watering system from different water sources. It is noticeable that, the irrigation system in just a few steps using basic equipment's with two methods.

beginning at the first method, take water from the river using the rope to lift up the basket which is tied on four sides. The basket made of bamboo or leather. Then, two peoples stand opposite each while holding the ropes. When the water is collected, they pull the handles together in unison, swing them, then pour it into irrigation channel before it stream to fields. In addition, the elevation of riverside is one until two metres

On the second method is rope and bucket. This is more complicated than before way. There are need several equipment's such as ropes, pulley, rollers, and bucket. First, the bucket is tied with two ropes that are connected to a pulley and rollers. After that, the bucket is throw into 50 metres draw well. After the water fills the bucket, a buffalo pull it out of the well. Finally, the irrigation channels will be filled by water from the bucket

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Writing Feedback / Long time ago, it was common for a dweller to live in the same place for a lifetime. [2]

In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. these days, people often move around. they often live in several different places in their lifetime. what are the advantages and disadvantages of both ?

give the reason for your answer and include any relevant information from your own knowledge and experience.

your feedback is welcome

Long-ago, dweller was common to live in the same place for spent lifetime. In contrast, today, there a lot of people who often switch their residence. After that, they live frequently in many different locations for life. It is noticeable that, as time goes on, human always change their habits to run through the rest of their life, but there are concerns that these have harmful effects . In my opinion, the benefits from this are greater than the disadvantages we receive.

There is no doubt that human who live in one place it will be strengthen relation in circumstance. This is because there are always communication each other in small comunity. For example, most people who live in rural areas are often cooperate in maintaining their environment. As a result, the good relation will be build slowly due to habit which is routines. Thus, no one can disturb this area moreover changes the countryside.

On the other side, people's lives who are always moving location for spend their lifetime will be more easier to adaptation in different place. This occurs owing to the residence which is swift make human get an knowledge and experience to survive in dissimilar spot. A case in point, society who live in different area for a long time will be deal with neighbor who have unique attitudes. Consequently, the citizen know how to live in different places.

Overall, people who live in one place will be stuck and does not have courage for visit another spot. I am more likely to believe that, although there are good benefit of living in one location, living in many different places give more advantages such as more bravely to stay in another place and get some knowledge about householder's life.

Writing Feedback / Palestine conveys appreciation for Indonesia's continuous support [3]

Palestine gives an appreciation for indonesia because it continues to support their country until this time which encourage independence palestine. This message delivered by foreign minister palestine to the Indonesian foreign minister during bilateral meetings took place in venezuela. Besides, Indonesia will be supporting and bring this issue about their independence to several next pivotal meetings in other that getting world's attention and support whole the world.

During the meeting, Indonesia continue to provide support and technical cooperation between Indonesia and Palestine. Then, The foreign ministry of Indonesia also emphasize that palestinian society must participate, so the support not only came from Indonesia but also came from inside the country for example Palestine people's.

Indonesian society support the struggle of the fighters in Palestine. It is seen by improving hospital in Gaza which that is get from donation of Indonesian society.

Writing Feedback / The most important thing to be happy is to have an occupation that we enjoy doing. Is it true? [2]

Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important.

Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some people believe that the most important thing to be happy is have an occupation that we enjoy doing. Others think that the source of happiness is not only derived from our work. I am more likely to disagree that statement because of happiness it not depends on job.

Nowadays, most people thinking about job which give a lot money will bring the blissfulness. This is due to money can bought everything in their lifetime. For example, people who bought a car would felt happier than before because they income was so high. As a result, dwellers will be satisfied by buying goods they want. After that, by doing something that we love, we can improve our skills. That is because work in passion so we want to produce something better than before.

On the other hand, there are several reason for people for their happiness. Firstly, spent time with family is more pivotal for people because of family is priceless. Besides, good relationship each other in family is also one of the source of happiness. Secondly, make schedule to keep healthy because people sometimes forget their health when doing a job. Thirdly, holiday with loved one such as friends or family. In addition, this activity give fresh people's mind because go to picturesque village with sightseeing around that place.

In my opinion, there are a lot of sources the happiness which is can come from everything. It hinge on our idea towards happiness itself. It is true that, although occupation give happiness in people's lives, there are many different factors which is human happier.

Writing Feedback / Identify your greatest interest, find career that match what you love, and pursue it no matter what [3]

According on this video which talk about follow your passion to finding work by Benjamin Todd. He said, in teenager he was interested to invested money into gold. Then, talk about job must find reliable information that the job more perfect.

Employment who have 8000 hours to work is so much time to spent in workplace. Besides, a Complex problem will be helped by several resources to finded career decision. Focus in the wrong thing is the most important for human-being. In 1980, the data shows they are follow their parents to collect some money and the last follow your passion to make a better place.

On the other hand, there are 3 steps to success for example, Identify your greatest interest, find career that match and interested, pursue the career no matter what.. Finally, the people who have passion match is not guarantee to success because society must focus on do whats valuable to fulfill career this is will make achievement means. Although people have to fulfill career, they should care to other people. In brief, it is not only to follow you passion, but also explore it until break the limit and will get much money such as house and conveyance.

Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2 : HOW TO KEEP FIT IN MODERN ERA [2]

Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

your feedback is so welcome ...

Most people believe lives in the modern era with cutting-edge technology makes society complicated to keep fit with a good lifestyle. Others said it easier for human to be healthy if people have a strong desire. I tend to agree that technology makes citizen have more invention to maintain their health.

Sophisticated technology makes people's lives more convenient. This is one of the most reason why people careless about their healthy because human was spoiled by device. For example, using technology such as smartphone makes people unnecessary to visit their siblings because this device is help to stay at home and use some applications to send a messages. As an impact, people seldom doing some activities or move their body and finally feel unwell. There is no doubt that excessive usage of technology can also damage the eyes due to screen of smartphone.

On the other hand, most people still preserve their condition to keep fit eventough human routines always accompanied by cutting-edge technology. This is because people realize that to maintain health is important. For instance, utilize some applications in smartphone to help and upgrade terms of exercising. Consequently, a lot of people still protect their health such as running in the morning weekend

Overall, the public should not be affected by the latest technology, health aspects are also essential for people's circumstance. Although human are spoiled by technology, it is not to be affected to move. After that, usage restrictions are also important because of eyesight problem.

Writing Feedback / The table gives information about the outcome of two observation between 1997 and 2006 [6]

The table gives information about the outcome of two observation between 1997 and 2006. This event is important for most people which is consist of external and internal communication of people's job. Overall, the essential skill for external communication is dealing with people. After that, listening to partnerships carefully was the most important ability in the internal communication.

As can be seen in external communication table 60 % employers believed dealing with people was necessary in 1997 and increased gradually to 65 % in 2006. Percentage of advising or caring for customers or clients is 36% in 1997 and changed in 2006 to 39%. In 1997, citizen think selling a product or service was no needed in their job, at the last position at 24% and decreased slightly by 3% in 2006

On the other hand, there are six components in the internal communication. The highest percentage is listening partnerships carefully at 38% in 1997 and rose by 9% in 2006. The lowest responded in 1997, making speeches or presentations at 7% and increased gradually to 11% in 2006.

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Writing Feedback / Sending a message via social media is much faster than using a letter. [3]

The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Connections amongst society will be had a bad effect of using cutting-edge technology such as a device which is operate applications of social media. I am more likely to disagree with this statement because of it makes people's lives easier to give some information and interact with other person, but should be controlled of using internet. Humans lives will be difficult if this sophisticated technology is absence.

Nowadays, people witnessed dienate themselves as a adverse effect. This is because human is addict with this device and do not care about circumstance. For example, over active in cyberspace makes people to ignore socializing in the real world. Consequently, more and more limited our association so that it could became antisocial figure in the future.

On the other hand, people always using electronic media for routines. This is due to the fact that society usage of communication to connect to other people who live in long distance and sometimes for business such as online shop. Based on my own experience, sending message with social media is faster than using letter. As a result, it makes people's lives more convenient. This is no doubt that with technology advances people's lives better than before

In conclusion, it is clear that sophisticated technology indeed gives negative impact, but it is very helpful for human being. It hinge on people who using this technology, because human should be use this media wisely. Although people's lives easier, it might be controlled.

Writing Feedback / How to start a movement in public area by Derek Sivers. [3]

This essay will discuss about how to start movement in public area and it is delivered by derek sivers. He explained with a video which shows about one person stood with annoying gestures. After that, slowly one person follow him to dance in that area. In the beginning there is no one follow his movement until almost all of tourist following that gestures. It is noticeable that, leadership is not as long as needed for mobilize other people.

On the other hand, there are several tourists which do not makes any move because they think it is annoying movements. Indirectly, it is makes amongst people join with this event to express their feeling and finally with a little crazy on a leadership from one person makes people start to movements.

Writing Feedback / Air Leakage, Cooling Problems - wasted energy [2]

The diagrams present process about disappearance of hot temperature in houses. This is due to air getting into and out of the house. Overall it can be seen that major air enter from the first floor. Furthermore, while the second floor experienced leak of slits which escape from a house through the ceiling.

The first process starts when air leaks enter the house, especially it dominate in the first floor. Another air comes from outdoor faucet into the crawl space, in addition it comes from venthole to the basement. There are not only in underground houses, but it also occurs in the second floor.

turning to there are several situations in the second floor such as air leaks more outgoing than getting in. According on the pictures, air come from kitchen fan vent, doors, windows, and the last is electrical outlet. Besides, because of taking heat from electronic equipment and passes the space in the roof for example, recessed lights and attic hatch. This situation gives fact that cold air can absorb heat and bring it out of the house with the result that the energy will be wasted.

your feedback is so welcome

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Writing Feedback / Many benefits of taking up a job before starting to attend a university, but also a few drawbacks [8]

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university.

Discuss what the advantages and disadvantage might be for people who do this

Some people believe that rising generation after graduated from school to pick up a job for a couple of years before going to the university. I am more likely to agree with this statement due to one of a great way before going university is working since to obtain some skills and much money for tuition paid. There are many benefits of taking up a job before starting to attend a university, but could be a few drawbacks as well.

There is an advantage for directly to go to a university such as students can use time as good as possible to study further and get more academic qualifications. This is due to want to speed up study time and pursue degree to find a job. For example, students have to focus on their study for better future. As a result, students did not have more skills after graduated and difficult to survive in work circumstance. There is no doubt that experience before study is important to enhance soft skills.

Turning to the benefit of get a job before study, students have a lot of time to prepare some skils and much money. This is owing to works guide real life skills for instance deal with other people, manage time and control money. Consequently, It prepares students for the future. It is makes student more independence because students approximately use own money and habitual talk with other people.

In conclusion, students have to prepare before go to university such as find a job to fill their leisure time after graduated from senior high school because it is important for student activities in campus or workplace after graduated from university. Although, doing work spend much time, it is pivotal for improve skills and mental in real life, especially independence to have much money for paid tuition fee and do not rely on parents.

Writing Feedback / The outcome of observation on the relationships among employees with their manager and partnerships [2]

WRITING TASK 1 : THE RESULTS OF SURVEYS ABOUT RELATIONSHIP IN WORKPLACE

The charts show the outcome of observation about the relationship of employees with their manager and partnerships 2005 and 2009 and it measured is percent. Overall, workers have very good relationship with their supervisor and a few employees do not have a manager in 2005 and 2009. While, communication between labour and their friends in workplace shows same proportion as a relation with their leader.

To begin, the highest percentage in the relationship between workers and manager at 61% in 2005. Then, 2009 experienced increased steadily to 65%. Besides, the lowest percentage at 1% of the respondent who did not have supervisor in 2005 while in 2009 the figure was rose slightly to 5%.

On the other hand, in 2005, many respondents have very good relationship with partnerships in the workplace and it increased gradually by 7% in 2009, it takes place in the first position. There are at 63% in 2005, and in 2009, it increased slightly at seven in ten. The last position is employees who have a bad relationship with co-workers at 1 % in 2005, but the percentage is escalating to 2 percent in 2009.

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