ibe13
Nov 1, 2016
Scholarship / Why study in the UK - New Castle University and Birmingham City University [7]
Aloha, I think your essay needs more well structure, because I, as a reader, am hard to understand your flow. So, let me share my pattern which probably can help you. here is my thoughts
(1) begin to tell your main problem in your country related to your subject that you want to
(2) support your problem with your experience at work for 5 years
(3) tell more about your fascinating project that you did
(4) which skills do you want to improve in the urban-environmental if you can enroll in university
(5) explain clearly subject you want to and university you will enroll, including subject you will learn, professor who will be your supervisor, learning facilities you will use, and your project plan.
I believe in you can be accepted if you put my pattern in your essay. I hope it can be helpful
Aloha, I think your essay needs more well structure, because I, as a reader, am hard to understand your flow. So, let me share my pattern which probably can help you. here is my thoughts
(1) begin to tell your main problem in your country related to your subject that you want to
(2) support your problem with your experience at work for 5 years
(3) tell more about your fascinating project that you did
(4) which skills do you want to improve in the urban-environmental if you can enroll in university
(5) explain clearly subject you want to and university you will enroll, including subject you will learn, professor who will be your supervisor, learning facilities you will use, and your project plan.
I believe in you can be accepted if you put my pattern in your essay. I hope it can be helpful