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Posts by Abrahamlincoln [Suspended]
Name: Lincoln
Joined: Sep 28, 2016
Last Post: Feb 16, 2017
Threads: 54
Posts: 56  
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From: Indonesia
School: Universitas Indonesia

Displayed posts: 110 / page 2 of 3
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Abrahamlincoln   
Nov 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Natural Exotic Flying Park on The City [4]

... transportation which is used by may of people in the worldmany use with people in the world .

The train has the line in the sky with ... (we have special term to describe kind of vehicle, it is called as MRT or LRT, maybe you can use that term of your next writing)

..., the train has been builtunder line in underground of the city.

It is because about one person in a mounth that is killed and run over, so the train in high line was elevated.
it is because land shortage caused by increasing housing and buildings everywhere.
Abrahamlincoln   
Nov 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / A good environment with humble people only in a small village - english studio [6]

Dear Alfian

i think you have good enough skill to write in English. However, there are several improvements should be taken to sharpen your English. Firstly, you have to pay attention to use singular and plural words, deal with subject+verb agreement and also minor grammatical errors. secondly, you have to choose proper conjunction to connect your sentence with the previous ones. thirdly, please read some article to array your vocabularies. I strongly recommend you to have Cambridge dictionary which helps you to choose advanced vocabulary

Good luck
Abrahamlincoln   
Nov 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / Antony Goldbloom, A machine can work like human, and substitute his work [5]

Dear Alan
Those are my comments toward your writing

1. Please kindly attach the link of the article you summarized. it helps a lot to see the original article.
2. Please to pay attention to your spelling, you misspelled the word too many.
3. Please pay attention to a subject+verb agreement on your writing, singular and plural and the article.
4. you have to change your way of writing, it seems that you writing in speaking form. please, your formal sentence which consists of Subject + predicant and object.

He rely to machine will change position of human. It can work likehuman , and substitute human's work.
... finish high volume task at little time.
... hasn't been fully fulfill the human's work (...) strategic of company . Onanother hand , Antony believes that ...
... some good technology in machine which more easily to solve enermous problem in many places in the world and is probably ...
... some problem in industry and many place, however human must more smart than machine , and is ...
In conclusion, human need machine, similiarly machine needs ...
Abrahamlincoln   
Nov 14, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary TED - An engineer's vision for tinty forests, everywhere [3]

An engineer's vision for tiny forests, everywhere

Deforestation has been a crucial problem of the world, it effects on decreasing forests and oxygen-reserved. Shubhendu Sharma, an Indian industrial engineering, is a passion for finding out a solution for tackling such problem. After resigning from Toyota company, he joined the voluntory project which focuses on the environmental issue and met with prof. Okazaki who introduced him to new plantation technique. After following his course for a couple of months, he tried to create the garden in the backyard of his house. It impacts on several positive impacts are increasing the quality of fresh air, the population of bird increased twofold, and grow season fruits. He is willing to invite all people around the world to do the same activity which aims to against climate change. Therefore, he provides website consists of information regarding the steps of doing plantation by a specific methodology which has been standardized by his team. Until now, the idea has been implemented by thousands of people in different countries and it is projected to add forest land in the world.
Abrahamlincoln   
Nov 14, 2016
Writing Feedback / Air transportation in today's world is popular not only for traveler but also for worker or student [3]

Dear lalu
let me give you some inputs

i think you have good enough skill to write in english. However, there are several improvement should be taken to sharpen your english. Firstly, you have to pay attention to use singular and plural words, deal with subject+verb agreemnt and also minor grammatical errors. secondly, you have to choose proper conjuction to connect your sentence with the privous ones. thirdly, please read some article to array your vocabularies. i strongly recommend you to have cambridge dictionary which help you to choose advance vocabulary

good luck
Abrahamlincoln   
Nov 14, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary Article - Trumps presidency could be good news for science [2]

There are three essential bases will be concerned by the new president, Donald Trump, namely space exploration, infrastructure, and medicine. Those will be continued as usual or even improved. Even it comes with several considerations.

Firstly, space exploration. Trumps remarked his plan that NASA should more concern to human exploration and discover more about the solar system. While they give earth observation mission which aims to find the new way of climate change to national oceanic and atmosphere association. In addition, he is keen to rebuild more adequate public facilities such as airport and hospital. Even it is good news for American; some argue that it will contribute to climate change. He plans to allocate $ 1 billion for infrastructure budget, but when it comes to where he earns financial support, it is still unclear. Furthermore, Trump promised to allow importing drugs and ease approval process of generic drugs. It is clear that this will make medicine's price cheaper price and easier to access, not only medicine but only marijuana will be legalized in several states such as California and Nevada.
Abrahamlincoln   
Nov 13, 2016
Writing Feedback / Graphs provide information about the results of a survey on prefered culture and leisure activities [2]

Dear Lola
Let me give you some inputs

girl's prefered preferred culture and leisure activities.
Even though, some
noticable noticeable similarities

It is clear to see that, t he boy's favourite (...) approximately 34% of them sharing that opinion (I did not get the point).

Dear Lola, you are good in term of grammar and the writing's flow. However, I remind you that writing task 1 is not only about mention the data one by one, but also comparing data in order to easy the readers understand what the chart tells. you must compare between charts' boys and woman. for example, you can say that there was same proportion between boys and girls in term of Listening to music, which was10%. Furthermore, your introduction does not describe the chart generally. you need to analyze finding the interesting statement which illustrates whole charts, maybe you could mention that indoor activity is more popular than outdoor activity in both sexes since it had the biggest proportion. Finally, please notice your spelling, you did mistakes

Good Luck
Abrahamlincoln   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary TED - How to grow fresh air - NASA's concept [3]

How to grow fresh air

Kamal Meattle was sentenced by his private doctor that his lung capacity decreased almost 70%, the doctor asked him to avoid inhaling polluted air unless it will weaken his body. In order to overcome such problem, he adopted NASA's concept, put three kinds of the plant which can clean the air around him. Those plants are Areca Palm, Mother in-law's Tounge and Money Plant. Areca Plam is capable of removing C02 and then change it to be oxygen, the plant is usually located in outdoor. While Mother in-law's Tounge has the same effect but this cleans C02 indoor. Afterward, Money plant will absorb all chemical materials which are available around. This method affected not only for his health but also reduce the pollution impacted by building housing and buildings. People just need to put the plants inside the room and they will produce fresh air every day. This activity is crucial since it is projected that almost 60% of world population will live in the building and there will be a proliferation of constructing new facilities to meet residence's need.

Source: ted
Abrahamlincoln   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary Article - People Sign Up for Obamacare After Donald Trump Elected President [2]

People Sign Up for Obamacare After Donald Trump Elected President

According to TIME.COM, after Donald Trump elected as the 45th President of the Unites States of America, there has been a proliferation of health insurance, they registered in Obamacare program. The people who have enrolled reaching just over 100.000 citizens, it is the highest amount since the administration started. Some analysts argue that this is because people worry regarding their future life under Donald's tenure as the President of USA. It shocked most of Americans and other communities, especially refugees. While Muslim community also under pressure since Donald's statement which reflects that he extremely dislikes Muslim.

Sylvia Burwell as Secretary of Health and Human Services remarked that such trend happened right after the official announcement that Donald Trump won the president election, beat Hillary Clinton who was expected will overtake Barack Obama's tenure as the most powerful person. In addition, spokesperson of Health and Human Department also argue that health insurance will be becoming an essential need for all Americans.
Abrahamlincoln   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / SUMMARY ARTICLE: DONALD TRUMP WINNER THE PRESIDENT OF USA [2]

Dear Eve01
let me give you some inputs

I found numerous of articles which contain same sentences with yours. maybe you just changing one word to its synonym. it is not paraphrasing. you need to understand first what the article talking about and you re-write with your own word. it is more complex than you think. if you just copy and paste and change some words, it will not help you improving you English. in order to overcome such problem, my suggestion is to read and understand the article. afterward, you translate it into bahasa and re-state with your own word based on your understanding.

good luck
Abrahamlincoln   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1 : The Elder Population in Three different countries [4]

Halllo Nda,

(please notice to your structure. in the first paragraph you should give brief explanation the chart you are going to describe, it contains (table information, measurement and most interesting fact on the chart. you did not do that on your writing task 1).

... and Sweden had a higher proportion of ...

Overall, your writing is extremely good. but you need to use other expressions to describe the proportion such as a quarter. etc
Abrahamlincoln   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Ted - Kio Stark: she told about her experience after conversing with foreigners [2]

To begin, she told about her experience when talking to strangers, which she recorded in video to identify that event. She taught that our senses towards best intentions which include liberation and intimacy should be accessed rather than fears. Those things should be followed with rules which were civility and privacy, which differ in every continent of the world. Overall, this talking to stranger would be good to have narrating experience with others, while unexpected connection could be built up at the same time which should be learnt and copied by our young children to create change in society.
Abrahamlincoln   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary TED - nine life lessons from rock climbing [5]

Matthew Childs is a professional climber, has been climbing two dozens of years. Based on his experience, he reveals there are 9 values which could be implemented in our life. 1) Fear is a mistake. People who travel on the mountain are required to ensure every single step they pass is completed and help them to reach the finish line. If we are afraid or doubt to take a step, it means finished, we will fall into the ravine and disappear. Focusing on your little step will help you to attain your goal and target. 2) Design your comfortable place to take a nap. It cannot be disputed that life is unfair. Most people become disappointed and hopeless, they are not ready to confront difficulties and be ready in their delicate situation. Therefore, the ability to find the positive side of your life is an essential skill which should be developed. Its aim is to have a positive mind in every condition
Abrahamlincoln   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / People have more attention for a look and not what kind a person someone is. Cameron Russell summary [8]

Hello brother
let me give you some inputs

Image the image is ...
... the Image can transform mindsetthe mindset of someone in ...
..., femininity(,) and white skin.
... her image which is are constructed by several (...), photographers(,) and stylists. All of (the) essential elements ...
She regret(s) since she got that(those) things because ...

Let me give you some comments. you need to improve your understanding regarding the subject+verb agreement. It will be the beneficial aspect for you since you made most of the mistakes on singular/plural and add "s/es" when it is simple present with the subject (He / she /it). and please vary your vocabulary in order to avoid repeated word

good luck
Abrahamlincoln   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / It has been 2 decades since Canadian government happily admits immigrants [2]

Article Summary - Liberty moves north

It has been 2 decades since Canadian government happily admits immigrants. Even there are has been a proliferation of refugees more than 300,000 people a year, it is a trigger to welcomed more asylum-seekers which have reached 1% of its total population. It is a higher proportion than any other big, rich countries such America or Britain.

There are two predominant reasons supporting Canadian's successful. Firstly, they not only invite them to come but helping them find employment and housing. They believe that "multicultural heritage" is beneficial aspects of creating prosperity and peaceful. Not every country is able to follow what Canada does since it pertains to a security system. Secondly, educate citizens to understand a financial issue. Canada has been managing its public finances conservatively and its prime minister has created a regulation to give a tax cut to the middle level and attain more and increased the higher tax to help for it.
Abrahamlincoln   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Summary - How to Build Good Life [5]

Hello My Friend
Let me give you some advices

Tai Lopes gave a lecture about why [...] something, but not all of them get it.

(Dear Ucha, in this sentence, you need to explain why people are compulsory to read at least one book a day, you can start it with explanation regarding its benefits to human life. if you describe hot to get a good life previously, it jumps your mind idea)

Next, he presented three major (mind/predominant) factors that may influence (a good life.
Mentors have animportant positionas a role model ...They give people opportunity to apply their theory in the real situation . may help people to experience their work.

... in learning that provided us numerous information and education. insights.

Good Luck
Abrahamlincoln   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Article Summary: Apple has a new way to get a cheaper iPhone [4]

Hello My Friend
Let me give some inputs towards your writing.

please pay attention to your subject+verb agreement and conjunction. if you want to explain something using the next sentence, you should have the sentence which refers to

Apple has offered its buyer new concept which called >> Apple has offered its loyal customers new concept which is called
new sales program known as the Apple ...

to get a cheaper iPhone in the past ten years . >> it aims to give an opportunity for everyone to get cheaper price of iPhone,

The customer can buy refurbished iPhone 6s or iPhone 6s Plus ... >> for example, the buyers can purchase refurbished iPhone 6s or plus with price only $449, they can save money until $100.

Good luck
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 31, 2016
Writing Feedback / Article Summary - Overworking style in Japan [3]

Overworking style in Japan

Overworking is the predominant cause of almost suicide case is Japan, It is known as karoshi. This October, the government reports that workers have average 80 hours a month, even 12% of them shows 100 hours. According to the survey, 93 workers committed suicide over last three months. While other employees suffered heart attacks or strokes due to over working. To overcome such problem, Shinzo Abe plans to include that in his reforms plan in order workers have a balance between life and work. But he confronts some difficulties since business practices required dedication to the job far ahead of performance. Such trend likely caused by Japan is one of the least productive economies, in the OECD, generating only $39 compared by America's $ 62.
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 31, 2016
Writing Feedback / Article Summary - Did China discover America [4]

DID CHINA DISCOVER AMERICA

The majority people argue that a Chinese Muslim, Zheng discovered America more than 70 years before Columbus. It is supported by the map, entitled "General chart of the integrated world" after he did seven voyages for 30 years. The map was bought from a local dealer by a Shanghai lawyer, Liu Gang. He argues it proves that Zheng traveled to the Americas, Australia, and the Mediterranean as well.

The map contains detailed elements. It shows the two hemispheres of the world by both south and the north pole. America is described clearly, even the rivers are running from far inland is recognizable. However, it cannot prove anything since only Europeans dramatized the world this way. European travelers finished discovery like this over hundred of years, while Zheng only explored for 30 years. A lecturer of the University of British Columbia, Professor Timothy Brook stated that this map is absolute nonsense. He argues the map copied onto a European map.
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 31, 2016
Writing Feedback / Article Summary - Liberty moves north [3]

Liberty moves north

It has been 2 decades since Canadian government happily admits immigrants. Even there are has been a proliferation of refugees more than 300,000 people a year, it is a trigger to welcomed more asylum-seekers which have reached 1% of its total population. It is a higher proportion than any other big, rich countries such America or Britain.

There are two predominant reasons supporting Canadian's successful. Firstly, they not only invite them to come but helping them find employment and housing. They believe that "multicultural heritage" is beneficial aspects of creating prosperity and peaceful. Not every country is able to follow what Canada does since it pertains to the security system. Secondly, educate citizens to understand the financial issue. Canada has been managing its public finances conservatively and its prime minister has created a regulation to give a tax cut to the middle level and attain more and increased the higher tax to help for it.
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 31, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Beau Lotto, the TED speaker, began his speech with a game. [7]

Hello Brother
Let me give you some inputs

begins his speech with a game

has importance role in this phenomenon

he gave some examples with similar shape, size and content

The totally difference between both
Keep writing
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 31, 2016
Writing Feedback / There are other elements (than air travel) which contribute most to the atmosphere pollution [3]

Restricting air travel is the only way to prevent air pollution. Do you agree or disagree?

Air travel supplies a large number of pollution to our environment. I keenly disagree with that idea since there are other elements which contribute most to pollute our atmosphere.

On the one hand, air travel activities produce vast of emission which destroys natural habitat and the ozone layer. If it continued, it will be harmful to the environment and human's health. There must be a proliferation of earth temperature caused by global warming and the possibility of suffering stroke will escalate dramatically due to air pollution. And some argue that airplanes produce most emission compared with other vehicles. It means that it supplies most in destroying to an environment. As a result, they believe that limiting air travel activity is a possible solution to address such trend.

On the other hand, there are a large number of elements which contribute to being harmful to the environment such as private transportation and industrial companies. Firstly, there are millions of private transportation use every day in the world. Even though the emission produced by one vehicle in small number. The emission is produced by a large number of cars and motorcycles supply more emission than air travel activities. In addition, industrial companies contribute also in this problem. They use their manufacturing machines every day which results from dangerous gasses for the quality of fresh air. It will impact on human's health negatively and can stimulate serious diseases in the near future.

In conclusion, while other argue that the air pollution should not be allowed to conduct their operation. I believe there is sufficient evidence to demonstrate that other factors supply more pollution.
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / How to see the thoughts you don't know you are having - Article Summary - To know your brain [2]

How to see the thoughts you don't know you are having - Caroline Williams

Every second, large of quantities idea emerge on our mind. Those are in unconscious area in which almost all people are not aware of what their thinking. In actual fact, a few experimental have been developing to touch our hidden area. Harvard University's Scholars carried out the research by using quick response test to exposing unconscious behaviour regarding origion, sexuality and gender. Unfortunately, it is strenuous to catch. While, another researcher, Russell Hurlburt from University of Nevada Las Vegas, provides different approach. He commanded volunteers to wear an earpiece which will randomly beep for six times a day, then ask them to note their mind. After a half of decade, he has concluded that minority of people have an idea what they are thinking.
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / All in all, I disagree that a person should be able to speak language to understand other cultures [3]

Hello Brother
Let me give you some advices

First, language is the only way of people

When the people

understand each other with native people .

However, I tremendously disagree with the statements. (which statements?)

... in the internet and to get details (no need to add 's') information about anything ...
... cultures and lifestyle (add 's', cine cultures has been plural) of a country from ...

Keep writing
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The unemployment and careless of society have impact on the rise of the crime level [4]

Hello Brother
Let me give you some advices

The predominant factors impacts on >> .... impact on

the rise of crime activities such are unemployment ...

jobless has a tendency to do

Almost of felonies gave reasons >> ..... remarked that

Secondly, commuters in big cities careless are surrounding them (what is the relationship between busy people and increasing crime rate)

Keep writing
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED article - David Christian- The history of our world [3]

A question which is asked by David Christian to audience is how did the universe make complexity?. He began his explanation from 13.7 billion years ago, when there was nothing and suddenly small atom emerged as the core of universe. In the next 380.000 years after big bang, there was hydrogen atom appeared.

The differences between human and another beings is human have a complex language system. In order to transfer information and knowledge among them. Furthermore, people can strive even in extreme environment such as dessert, jungle and ice age. And in the modern age, myriad of people are linked with internet.
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / This essay will examine the explanation why the crime rate is enhancing and suggest some ways out. [2]

Helllo Afdhel
Let me give you some advices

As i learn in writing class. writing task 2 consist of 4 contents:
1. Introduction
2. Body 1
3. Body 2
4. Conclusion

those aspects should be attempted. On your writing, you use almost 8 paragraph. it is just too much. please following your tutor instruction, in order to writing task 2 properly.

Keep writing.
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / This essay will examine the reasons why criminal wrongdoing increases annually [3]

Writing Task 2 - Increasing crime rate

Each year, the crime rate increases.
What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?


Over recent years there has been a proliferation of the level of crime around the world. This essay will examine the reasons why criminal wrongdoing increases annually and discuss several remedies people can adopt.

The predominant factors resulting in the rise of the crime rate are unemployment and internet accessibility. Firstly, poverty stimulates people committing crime because they should meet their daily needs. While they do not have a job to earn money. Consequently, people end up into criminal activities where they can acquire money easily. In addition, internet accessibility makes everyone is able to access numerous information every time and everywhere, not only search positive information but also including information regarding criminal manner. It helps people to learn how to commit a crime effectively. According to CIA data. In 2013, the crime rate in all countries rose significantly to almost 40%. It is reported that easy access to internet motivates people to commit crime since they easily attain information of the ways of committing crime through video tutorials. As a result, crime cases increases every year and cannot be addressed quickly.

Nevertheless, there are potential solutions to overcome these problems, or at least reduce the effects. Firstly, to create tough regulation. The authority not only should design severe punishment which gives deterrent effects to the criminals but also promise increasing the law enforcement to the suspects. Secondly, to have better education system. Education authority is required to create curriculum which educate students to use internet wisely and also build good values to the students. It aims to equip scholars with ability to distinguish between acceptable and inacceptable neighborhood.

To conclude, although the increasing of criminal activities, caused by unemployment and internet accessibility. There are steps that government and educational institutions can be conducted to prevent their effects such as creating new policy and having better education system.
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Students are not given a freedom to express what they think, and it kills their creativeness [3]

Over last decades, it has been a proliferation of scholars entering the educational institution. They are keen to get new insights which can be implemented in their life, then make life easier. However, the students in school are commanded to obay all teacher's instructions and they are not given a freedom to express what they think. If such trend continued, they will never come up with original idea.

Pablo Picasso said that all children are born as an artist and a parent has a responsibility to remain it. He explained that the essential steps to keep them as an artist is to understand two sorts of intelligence. Firstly, it is a driver. Several children think the world as they experience. It means that they live a life through several approaches are movement, imagination, and sound. In addition, majority of children generate a thought from their brain which interact and transfers an array of information.
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / BBC News Summary; world wildlife 'falls by 58% since 1970' [2]

Helllo Brother
Let me give you some advices

... necessary point to gain concern in this statistic is this trend is about declining (decreasing/mitigating/diminishing) and it is not extinction ...
... preserve the condition to become (i think you mean that better, don't you?) worse.

keep writing
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Article Summary - Why Uganda is a model for dealing with refugees [2]

Why Uganda is a model for dealing with refugees

The EU countries committee to provide abodes for asylum-seekers even it has been a predominant trouble in a dozen of European countries for the last decade. Recently, French governments have eradicated a refugee camp in Calais which previously has been symbolic of Europe's policies. They argue that refugee has resulted in many social troubles such as increasing the crime rate and national security.

Surprisingly, according to Oxford Refugees Studies Centre, Uganda is the most welcoming country in the world for asylum-seekers. Since 2006 lavish of refugees have been granted freedom, free of hostility and get equal access to health care and education. Those services convey numerous benefits. They have flourished in economic development and mitigate unemployment rate. Furthermore, the relationship between refugees and local people are generally peaceful.

source: economist
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary of TIME The USA Election News about Last Presidential Debate [2]

Hello Brother
This is my advice towards your first sentence.

Two of the major party, (you need plural word and verb to have perfect sentence) Republic and Democrat, (...) Donald Trump as (from) Republican side. (You need other sentence to explain your previous explanation before you go to next topic) .

Keep writing
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2 - speaking local language helps to understand culture of a country? [3]

Some people think that a person can never understand the culture of a country unless they speak the language. Do you agee with this opinion?

The majority of people regard that to attain valuable insights of others cultures. It is compulsory to speak the same language as they use. I would regard that this idea is true. Even thought, for some aspects, I have an opposite opinion.

On the one hand, the language can reflect people's culture. This is because it is an essential tool to communicate and scholars can analyze people's behavior through how they use the language. So if people speak the language of a country, they attain an array of cultural information. For example, it has been known that nearly all Sundanese people find a difficulty how to make a sound of letter "P" properly. They cannot pronounce distinctly between letter P, F and V. As a result, foreign people realized that they should not force them to pronounce those letters correctly since it is one of their behaviors that hard to be addressed.

On the other hand, people have an opportunity to understand other culture without speaking their language. There are several activities could be carried out to get more comprehensive understanding regarding the culture of a country. The first method is to read book and journal. That provides a lavish number of information of the country regarding their behaviors, characters and how people interact and mingle with their neighborhood. It also supplies recent data since cultural researches have been conducted annually. In addition, traveling abroad will be a beneficial factor to understand a culture because people are able to interact directly with native citizen and adapt with new cultures they believe.

In conclusion, it is clear to me that although learning language helps citizens to understand about other culture. There are alternative methods which more effective to gain a large number of information such as reading the cultural book and watching a movie.
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Summary - Rory Steart: Time to end the war in Afghanistan [2]

Rory Steart: Time to end the war in Afghanistan

The war in Afghanistan has been existing for decades. However, Afghanistan does not to pose and existential threat to global security. It is extremely unlikely the Taliban would ever be able to take over the country and It is extremely unlikely that Al-Qaeda would significantly enhance its ability to harm the United States or harm Europe. Anyway, we need more people who are telling the truth, who know the current situation in Afghanistan. We should tell the truth to the united nation since they only have little idea of what is going on over there.

Over the last 10 years, several amazing improvements developed such as within six months there were two and a half million more girls in school and There were 14 health clinics in that area alone.

Source: youtube
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / Article Summary - Google Introduces the Pixel, Its Own Smartphone [4]

Google Introduces the Pixel, Its Own Smartphone

Google has published its smartphone manufactured by some companies such as Samsung, LG Electronics, and Lenovo. Google's new strategy of controlling both hardware and software for its devices. The Google's CEO, Sundar Pichai remarked that this projected executed to provide computers can understand what people are saying and responds conversationally with the right information at the right moment. It aims to build a personal Google for each and every individual. It named Pixel as the first smartphone with the Google Assistant built into the device. It was a component of new-product barrage including a Wi-Fi router, a virtual reality headset and a Chromescast device for streaming high-resolution video. It would be a prospective competitor for Apple and Android smartphone.
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / Taklimakan desert occupy about 337.600 square km of northwestern China [3]

Hello Brother
Let me give you some advices

But some plant form has developed unique mechanism >> but some plant form have developed unique mechanism

P. euphratica have ability to opening and closing >> P. Euphratica has ability to be open and close.

And Tamarisk plant, have high tolerance for ...>> .... has high tolerance for salty conditions
Keep Writing
Abrahamlincoln   
Oct 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Summary : Let's Teach for Mastery by Sal Khan [11]

Hello Brother
Let me give you some advices

Salman Khan criticize the traditional academic >> Salman Khan criticized model

when the teachergives many homework >> when the teachers gave many assignments

For example, when a contractor gives an order to >> For example, when a contractor were given
Thereare many people for human labor purposes >> there were many people

Keep Writing

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