septiadara29
Oct 31, 2016
Writing Feedback / There are many kinds of food that spread in our country from local and international cuisine [2]
Hello faiz! I will give you some opinions about your essay.
(1) While some people or others argue thattodaynowadays it is not easy to life healthier than before...
(2) In my opinion,it'sit is tend to be difficult today ...
(3) It is not wrong if some people have an argument that modern ...
(3) The development of knowledge make all aspect improve, including health. --> repetitive
(4) For instance, we can look for many information, such as vegetarian menu,...
(5)... not useful if peopledon'tdo not have their self-awareness.
(6) ... many kinds of foods --> food is an uncountable noun
(7) it is because the tasteful taste of food. --> it is because the food is really tasteful
(8) Moreover, some food that sell near the street [....] with their eyes and hand via mobile. --> You use multiple idea but have no coherence in each idea. I suggest to use one idea paragraph and explain about the reason, the example and the result.
Hello faiz! I will give you some opinions about your essay.
(1) While some people or others argue that
(2) In my opinion,
(3) It is not wrong if some people have an argument that modern ...
(3) The development of knowledge make all aspect improve, including health. --> repetitive
(4) For instance, we can look for many information, such as vegetarian menu,...
(5)... not useful if people
(6) ... many kinds of food
(7) it is because the tasteful taste of food. --> it is because the food is really tasteful
(8) Moreover, some food that sell near the street [....] with their eyes and hand via mobile. --> You use multiple idea but have no coherence in each idea. I suggest to use one idea paragraph and explain about the reason, the example and the result.