Writing Feedback / Manias can be expressed by various ways. Have your ever heard about English mania? [4]

TED SUMMARY 11 : The World English Mania - Jay Walker

Manias can be expressed by various ways. In some cases, football maniacs, for example, show their emotion by screaming when their favorite group beats the opponent group. It similarly appears when teenagers enjoy a live concert, like the Beetle band, even they can cry after watching their favorite band performance. Interestingly, there is a novel trend around the world right now. Have your ever heard English manias? In China, many students are exerted to be expert in English. Did you know, why? The simple answer is because English offers to get better live, job, and education. English as the world second language helps us to have a wider global conversation in various global issues such as climate change, poverty, hunger, and disease. It is commonly known that the world has a universal language. If math is a language of science, then music is a language of motions. Furthermore, English becomes a language of problem solving and represents hope for better future so, English manias is a good trend as the globe has a common language to solve a common problem.

Writing Feedback / Benjamin Todd shared his opinion about the relationship between career and passion [2]

(TED 12) To Find Work You Love, Don't Follow Your Passion - Benjamin Todd

In TED Talks, Benjamin Todd shared about the relationship between career and passion. Some people argue that a great career can be achieved by identifying your greatest interest or your passion. Perhaps, it is true that by following your passion, you will get a great career. But for Benjamin, if you follow your passion, you probably gain to fail. The data from University of Montreal reveals that there is only 3% jobs in arts, sports, and music while percentage of students who passionate in those passions reach at 90%. This means in majority, following your passion only makes you unsuccessful so you cannot fulfill your career. The pivotal way to deal with it is do what is valuable. Focus on doing beneficial activities to help each other is a secret key to fulfilling the career. The concept of his idea "do valuable things" consists of three steps: explore to learn something from different perspective, build others skills, and solve pressing social problems. It will lead you to become passionate individual in work you love. Remember that your present interest are not solid basis for career decisions.

Writing Feedback / Reading a lot of books is beneficial - it will make you a tough person [2]

TED SUMMARY: WHY I READ A BOOK A DAY? (AND WHY YOU SHOULD TOO) BY TAI LOPEZ

Tai Lopez as an entrepreneur and investor said that everyone wants to have a good life, yet not everybody gets it. Why? This is because they do not have right roles. Love, wealth, health, and happiness are a couple of people's goals in their own lives. To achieve those goals, people have to design their own pathway. Mentors or role models are a vital aspect to reach a good life as people have an ability to copy and download their experiences which lead them to succeed in their life. Next, humility and perseverance. Being humble and persevering person are pivotal factors to achieve what he or she wants. The last is reading more books because it will make you to be a tough person. Follow those roles to get your good life.

Writing Feedback / Summary Article: Animals Eat Ocean Plastic because it Smells Like Food [3]

It is generally known that plastic is a crucial problem in the ocean as it can be harmful for hundreds of marine species such as seabirds, fish, whales and others. This happens since those sea creatures smell plastic like food. In fact, the amount of trash made of plastic in the ocean is around a quarter of a billion metric tons which form in tiny or rice-sized particles in 2004. This attracts over 200 marine animals feed them. Turtles often eating plastic due to its similar appearance to jellyfish is a current phenomenon to illustrate this. How can it occur? As the primary diet for many seabirds, krill consumes algae as their food. Then, algae break down in the ocean and emit dimethyl sulfide (DMS) which has sulfur odor to lead seabirds finding their feeds in the ground. Unfortunately, they consider plastic as krill to be their food. Matthew Savoca, a doctoral student at the University of California, said that DMS looks a dinner bell. It will give a signal for seabirds to find krill with their foraging mode.

Source: news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/11/animals-eat-ocean-plastic-because-of-smell-dms-algae-seabirds-fish/

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2: Improving Public Health by Adding Sport Facilities [3]

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Health is one of the essential part in human lives. Nowadays, there are a couple of measures to enhance public awareness about healthy lifestyle. Some people argue that setting more sport facilities will support them to incline their health level, while others say that it is not always the most effective way to deal with it. This following essay will discuss in detail about both ideas.

On the one hand, some individuals consider that the best way to improve public health level is by providing more sport amenities in the society. This is because it tends to raise public awareness in their healthy life and gives a convenient way to access public sport services. In Jakarta, the government has installed several additional sport facilities in many parks such as jogging tracks, athletic fields, and mini gym to support "Jakarta Sehat 2017" programme. By doing this, many inhabitants can be avoided from any diseases caused by unhealthy lifestyle or sedentary activities such as obesity and hearth attack. As a result, adding public sport facilities lead linear progression in healthy level.

On the other hand, the opponent groups argue that increasing sport center contributes slight effects in public health as they think that there are more effective and important activities such as healthy programmes. Taking Senam Sehat Jakarta as an example. Many governmental institutions require their officers to participate this programme. More broadly, well-prepared healthy program will give more impacts for people to have healthy lifestyle.

All in all, it is clear to me that the government plays a vital role to campaign about healthy awareness for public. So, by combining both healthy programmes and facilities are able to develop public health. (280 words)

Writing Feedback / Giving more balanced lives with a reasonable amount of leisure time is best for children [2]

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays, education tends to be a pivotal key to get better life. Some teenagers are pushed to study hard either at school or home which kills most of their leisure time. Therefore, I believe there are some viable solutions to overcome this problem.

I would argue that there are two main problems which cause young people find themselves with little leisure activities. Firstly, parental influence shapes his or her children's career in the future. This is because every parents wants to see their children to have high performance on their academic which can help them getting a successful career. This means that parents will exert pressure on their children to spend more time for studying. For instance, many students in my country, take a lot of additional private schools after attending their study at state school. Secondly, the higher educational system will be another cause as many young people compete to get higher education in prestigious universities. Every year, there are a lot of entrance exams to enter universities in Indonesia where many teenagers should have a competitive cognitive to obtain their universities. As a result, those problems contribute to give much pressure on teenagers since they should spend their leisure time to work hard in their studies.

To tackle those problems, parents, schools, and government should take their own role and work together. Parents should give more their time to create intensive communication with their children in order to know what children need. Moreover, schools should inform that giving high pressure on children can lead to depression, anxiety, and stress. By doing this, parents will know the effect of the pressure they put on their children. On the other hand, the government should invest to build more universities with high quality, so teenagers have high chance entering the universities.

In conclusion, all stakeholders should know that giving much pressure on children will increase their level of stress which can cause their health hampered. So, giving more balanced lives with a reasonable amount of leisure time is the best way to improve children's potential. (344 words)

Writing Feedback / Learning foreign language, children are not afraid of making grammatical errors on their speaking [2]

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In globalized era, children have to be able to speak in any foreign languages to communicate with the outside world. Some experts argue if children these days should learn a foreign language as soon as they start school. While I believe that this idea has advantages and disadvantages, yet I personally argue that it has more positive effects instead of the negatives.

First of all, if ones wants to get outcome soon, they have to start sooner. The early children who learn a foreign language in their golden age tend to be a fast learner. This is because in the early ages, their brain has a sensitive nerve cell to memorize everything quickly. According to Anna Maria's research, an educational experts found that around 95% of the brain growth is in the first or second ages. As a result, it is the best occasion for children to recognize words so that they are able to speak more than one language in the early stage. More broadly, children who learn a foreign language in their early years are more likely to achieve high result, as they do not worry to be afraid about mistakes when they start to speak. A study of this topic in 1998 reported that the early children do not afraid of making grammatical errors on their speaking. Hence, they have a better chance to get right pronunciation or accent of a language through their repetition words and sentences.

However, the drawback of this is in their native language developments. Although they are able to speak and write in a foreign language frequently, they tend to develop their mother tongue. This is because they just focus on memorizing foreign words and implementing them into their routine communication with their peers or relatives. Taking Indonesian students as an example. When they take international schools as their formal education, they are forced to speak and write in English every day. Then, Bahasa as their native language is not performed well in their daily activities.

Overall, I think that it is really essential for children to learn a foreign language in their early stages due to its benefits in their life. Therefore, I firmly believe that learning a foreign language at primary schools is the best time for children to develop and gain more knowledge. (384 words)

Writing Feedback / Entering children to study at school is essential way to get education and social experience [2]

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

Education is a pivotal key to conquer the world. There is no doubt that entering children to study at school is essential way to get overall educational and social experiences, whilst it is believed that homeschooling provides what children needs regarding their own interest. Even though both views are entirely true to some extent, I firmly believe that all of the notions have upsides that should be taken into consideration to improve child's developments.

Needless to say, learning at school offers children to get more knowledge and learn how to get on with each other. A study of Utrecht University in 2015 found that children who sent to school are more likely to explore their whole potential so that they can achieve good academic performances. In addition, they tend to have good intrapersonal skills as they interact with others from diverse background which can lead to succeed in the society. Nevertheless, statistics reveals that many parents are not satisfied with local schools due to serious school violence. This means that some parents decide to educate their children at home by controlling them directly.

Apart from previous discussion, homeschooling gives the best way to respond children's needs with their pace. By doing so, these homeschoolers can get much faster progress because its concept allows them to learn one-to-one lessons. TIMSS (Trends in International Mathematics and Science Study) reported in 2014 that children who take homeschooling has successfully gained higher score in mathematics and science Olympiad for a decade compared by children from public schools. On the other hand, it seems that homeschooling only focuses on children's development, yet there is no alteration for them to socialize with their peers.

The aforementioned evident shows that schools can maximize child's potentials to broaden their horizon both educational and social skills. However, it is believed that homeschooling concept are created to teach children getting faster progress regarding their needs. (317 words)

Writing Feedback / The growth of advanced technology has revolutionized the way people live and work [2]

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before.
What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

In modern digital era, the growth of advanced technology has revolutionized the way people to do everything. Internet as a product of sophisticated technology has many benefits in human life such as changing the way information to be shared and consumed by public, yet it also has appeared causes these days. Although internet has merits and demerits, personally I do believe that some viable solutions should be taken to tackle this problems.

Needless to say, many people argue that internet damages culture. Firstly, by surfing to internet, everyone can find global information easily. They tend to be influenced by foreign cultures which serve different programmes without any filtration. For instance, internet provides many websites contained negative content which can be accessed for all aged groups. Secondly, internet can change people's lifestyle into sedentary lifestyle. It is really hazardous when children play online game in long period which tends to make them getting obesity. Another problem can be seen is many people utilize internet to do some digital crimes such as fraud and kid napping.

The aforementioned evidence occurs multifaceted problems. To overcome this, I do believe that government, parents, and education institution should work together to tackle this problems. First of all, the government should be active to ban websites which contain negative content. In addition, they have to create a standard regulation to filter the websites. For example, Ministry of Technology and Information in Indonesia has campaigned "internet positive" programme by blocking several websites which are inappropriate with the standard. Moreover, parents and educational also should take a role to give the best education in order to protect children and people doing negative activities.

All in all, multiple stakeholders play an essential role in making regulation to restrain irresponsible activities using internet. So, the predominant upside of using internet can be utilized broadly. (304 words)

Writing Feedback / Advanced technology comes to make everything easier to be finished. Writing Task 2: Working at Home [2]

Many employees may work at home with the modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the worker, not the employers. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Advanced technology comes to make everything easier to be finished. In cutting-edge era, the modern technology tends to give a novel option for many employees to work at their own home, although some people argue that it cannot give benefits for the employers. Personally, I immensely disagree with that view as it is beneficial for employers also in some aspects.

Needless to say, generating sophisticated technology in work can give more profit for employers. This is because the technology can reduce the cost of workers when they work at home. For instance, since the employees finish their work at home, employers have no need to provide additional cost related to daily use and facilities such as lighting, parking place for their car, and water. Hence, the employers can save a lot of expenditure budget in their workplace.

More broadly, working at home provides the workers to work efficiently. They do not need to waste more time on waiting for the bus or traffic jam. They can get more extraordinary ideas to support their job when they work in ideal and creative environment. This means that the employers can take positive impacts on the result of their work. For example, graphic designers can create fantastic design as they feel so fresh and avoid any distractions when they work at their own home. As a result, the employers can acquire maximal performance from their employees.

All in all, personally I do believe that employers can get more benefits when they allow their employees to work at their home. It not only save their budget but also provide the employees to work in a comfortable place so that they can improve their work productivity. (281 words)

Writing Feedback / Canadians prefer not to leave their country when travel: Tourists From Japan, Australia, and Canada [2]

The table gives the information about the proportion of tourists from three different countries (Japan, Australia, and Canada) who travelled overseas between 1985 and 1995, measured by millions. Overall, it is really important to noticeable that the number of tourists from Japan and Australia rose during 10 years, while the converse appeared to be true in the other.

Initially, we can see that Australian tourists were more likely to travel across the globe, reaching 7.1 million travelers, followed by Canadian and Japanese tourists who marked at 6 and 4.9 million at the same period.

Eventually, it is obvious that a significant increase occurred in the number of Japanese tourists who visited other countries at 15.1 million which overtaken the Australian tourists proportion to be the highest, while the proportion of tourists from Australia inclined slightly by around 100,000 travelers in the end of entire world. By contrast, the figure of Canada dropped steadily from 6 million travelers to 5.5 million in 1995. (162 words)

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Writing Feedback / Some characteristics in sleep patterns regarding individual's occupations in a Canadian study [2]

The chart below shows the sleep patterns of people in five different occupations according to a Canadian study.

The table gives the information about the differences in sleep patterns regarding individual's occupations in a Canadian study. The data are divided into five occupations: student, truck driver, full-time mother, business executive, and doctor. Overall, it is immediately obvious that the type of occupations influence the pattern of people to sleep.

It is noticeable that all occupations have an average time to sleep around 6-hour period every day. We can see that student and business executive tend to spend their leisure time to sleep for 8 hours (from 11 p.m. to 7 a.m.) and 6 hours (from 11 a.m. to 5 a.m.) respectively. This may occur because their main activities take in normal daylight hours.

On the other hand, truck drivers tend to two three-hour period, from 7 a.m. to 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. to 7 p.m.). This may be because their jobs force them to drive trucks in long period at daylight hours. Interestingly, full-time mothers have 8 hours to sleep, separated by three periods. They tend to sleep from 10 p.m. and be awoken at 1 a.m. to check their babies for a couple of hours before going back to bed at 3 a.m. and getting from bed at 6 a.m., while they will continue to sleep between 1 p.m. and 3 p.m. More broadly, the smallest amount of sleeping time is doctor which has only five hours from 1 a.m. to 7 a.m. and tends to wake up in the middle of the night at 3-4 a.m. owing to emergency. (254 words)

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Writing Feedback / 1981, 1986, 1996 and 2006 - data about number of newborn babies conceived from older mothers [2]

The table below presents the number of children ever born to women aged 40-44 years in Australia for each year the information was collected since 1981.

The table reveals the number of children born to Australian women aged 40-44 years in four different years: 1981, 1986, 1996 and 2006, calculated by percentage. Overall, it is really important to notice that the proportion of women who had three children or more declined gradually during the whole period whilst the converse appeared to be true in women who had no children or less than or equal two children.

Initially, it is obvious that women aged 40-44 years tended to have two children, followed by women who had four or more children and three children, at 27.6% and 27.4% respectively, while the proportion of women who were childless and had one children only had less than one in ten of the total proportion. More broadly, this trend also occurred until the last period.

Eventually, we can see that the proportion of two-child women in early forties broke the record as the highest proportion by climbing considerably to 38.3%, while similar trend experienced to childless women and one-child women, reaching 15.9% and 13.2% in sequence. By contrast, the proportion of women who had three children dropped slightly by around 6%, while a dramatic dip marked in women who had four or more children in 2006. (207 words)

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Writing Feedback / The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan. 1950-2055 [2]

The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan.

The bar graph gives the information about the growth of Japan's population between 1950 and 2055, while the table reveals the proportion of elderly Japanese population during the same period, calculated by millions. Overall, it is really important to notice that the Japan's population growth increased slightly and a similar trend will appear in the elderly population growth in Japan.

The Japan's population has appeared continuous growth since 1950. It is immediately obvious that the population grew slowly from 84.1 million to 127.8 million people until 2005 before falling down slightly by 2.4 million people in 2015. The growth rate will be expected to decline dramatically to 89.9 million in the next 40 years.

Similarly, this trend experienced in elderly people in Japan. Initially, the proportion of Japanese over-65s had 4.1 million or 4.9% of total population. In the next following years, a dramatic rise occurred in this aged group with 25.7 million people or a fifth of total population in 2005. In the next twenty-year period, the population of elderly people in Japan will be predicted to rise at 37.2 million or 34% of total population in 2035. By contrast, although the population will decline by 700,000 people in 2055, the percentage of total population will incline at 41%. (210 words)

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Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1: World Population Growth 1800-2100 [2]

The graphs below provide information on global population figures and figures for urban populations in different world regions.

The line chart reveals the trend about the growth of world population across the globe from 1800 to 2100, whilst the bar chart shows an estimated population proportion in developed regions and developing regions for the next 25 years, measured by millions. Overall, it is immediately obvious that the rise of global population will not only be expected in the world, but also in some areas.

The global population growth has appeared to increase gradually since 1800. It is clear that between 1800 and 1960, there is a slight rise growth from 1 billion to 3 billion people. In the next following years, this trend still occurs to increase and will be predicted to rise continuously before declining slightly in the near future. More broadly, the growth rate is expected to reach a peak of 8.2 billion in 2050, and then dip to around 6.2 billion people in 2100.

Apart from the previous prediction, almost urban population growth will occur in areas of developing countries in the next 25 years. On the other hand, a level off rate of urban population will experience in areas of developed countries at approximately 1.3 billion the same period. (196 words)

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