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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 446)

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TOEFL: What I would change in my hometown if I could

5 - thx~everyone...

Writing Feedbackkevinhsin1124 - May 27, 2010 / kevinhsin1124 - May 30, 2010
PEOPLE SHOULD CHANGE THEIR JOBS ATLEAST ONCE - FEEDBACK

NEW - If we are to compare the job flexibility of today's generation and those of 20 years back. We can...

Writing Feedbackprince303 - May 27, 2010 / — -
Income gap is necessary to sustain a society to run dynamically; sports professionals earn big money

4 - Mustafa, don't you think it's important to help people in different ways depending on their level of skill with...

Writing Feedbackcathyliu - May 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 30, 2010
Has the Chinese government changed after the Tiananmen Square Massacre?

2 - Hello, I think you need to proofread your essay better. There are quite a few grammatical errors, some...

Writing Feedbackken349137 - May 26, 2010 / puroodsy - May 27, 2010
TOEFL: Improve Roads or Public Transports

3 - I'm so glad Azeri is here helping people. Thanks!! Many people think that governments should spend money on...

Writing Feedbackhatung94 - May 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 27, 2010
Classification essay- Modern students's learning style

5 - For a long time, studying have has been a significant issue among human beings. That is the only...

Writing FeedbackHUTAllen - May 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 26, 2010
Online Education Myths, peer review assignment

4 - Yep, maybe it'll be me, or maybe it'll be someone else, but you can get help here! :-)...

Writing FeedbackHigherEducation - May 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 27, 2010
Art history paper about looted artwork during WWII

NEW - I just need general feedback like if my sentences and grammar make sense and if I'm answering the question...

Writing Feedbackqueensuri - May 25, 2010 / — -
Computer based Instructions ! Good or bad.

4 - Yes, good corrections here. You have some options: Computers represent one of the... or The computer is one of...

Writing Feedbackshalini singh - May 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 26, 2010
ESSAY - READING ENTERTAINMENT BOOKS INSTEAD OF EDUCATIONAL BOOKS - FEEDBACK

2 - Capitalize the titles of books. If we are to compare the difference between the reading habits of today's...

Writing Feedbackprince303 - May 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 26, 2010
SAT Essay: Are our decisions always limited by the rules of society?

3 - Thanks for all the comments! 'Chimerical' is a word I picked up from the SAT word list. It...

Writing Feedbackpuroodsy - May 25, 2010 / puroodsy - May 27, 2010
Factory is always links to the pollution problem

2 - I'll give some help here, too. I hope you will tell us if you have questions about the changes...

Writing Feedbackkevinhsin1124 - May 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 25, 2010
Students should be required to attend classes; may need explanations of teachers

5 - the teachers can find out what the students still do not understand or misunderstand and then explain ... ...

Writing Feedbackphuocqui - May 24, 2010 / sheldon - May 29, 2010
IELTS ESSAY : FINANCIAL AID TO DEVELOPING COUNTRIES

4 - thanks for your generous help!!...

Writing Feedbacksheldon - May 24, 2010 / sheldon - May 26, 2010
IELTS TASK 2 : Study abroad (advantages and disadvantages)

3 - Comments: - Grammatical mistakes are quite visible, proving you not to have proofread. This field of errors includes...

Writing FeedbackNguyenXuanKien - May 23, 2010 / triplesmickey - May 23, 2010
Art Self-Evaluation piece: the process of creating your art portfolio

3 - I have had to take a long look at the last four years in LaGuardia & my art through...

Writing FeedbackJd87rh - May 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 22, 2010
Today we have a variety of food and we have various choices to prepare food

3 - I also think that eating "fast food", whether it McDonald's or the Olive Garden it's not as healthy as...

Writing FeedbackArshin - May 21, 2010 / haeddleman - May 21, 2010
It is easy to welcome innovation and accept new ideas

3 - Is this really how they wrote the statement? It is a run on sentence. I would do...

Writing FeedbackGary1986 - May 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 22, 2010
IELTS task 2 : Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood.

9 - my suggest is that you can write about 3 sentences in first paragraph to support both sides. Make your...

Writing Feedbackwilly0123 - May 20, 2010 / mabu9669 - Jun 6, 2010
SAT essay: Is censorship sometimes justifiable?

10 - Hi Jesslyn, I became a fan of your writing. I read your other posts. It was very interesting...

Writing Feedbackpuroodsy - May 20, 2010 / renga78 - Jun 4, 2010
Should crimes committed many years ago be forgotten? - Essay writing advice

7 - Well, some sentences like the one above are very, very impressive. You write like someone who is...

Writing Feedbacklentan - May 20, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 24, 2010
ESSAY- Comment on freedom on choice of clothing in schools - FEEDBACK

2 - No comma necessary here: School is the place which lays foundation ... progress or their overall personalities ....

Writing Feedbackprince303 - May 20, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 21, 2010
People are moving in to the big cities for more comfortable and convenient life

10 - Mickey, you seem seriously interested in helping people. Everyone participating in this thread made such a unique contribution; I'm...

Writing Feedbackprince303 - May 20, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 23, 2010
Marine Pollution Introductory paragraph

2 - Source of survival is a strange phrase. It might be better to write: Water is the most crucial factor...

Writing Feedbackeveehp - May 19, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 20, 2010
My hero, Terry Fox born in Canada

3 - Yes, that is true. It seems that Namon is struggling to improve her/his English, though, so let's help...

Writing Feedbackthailand - May 18, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 20, 2010
Parents should encourage their high school students for part time jobs !

4 - Working twenty years at an inconsequential job may not give as much satisfaction as a highly prolific and demanding...

Writing Feedbackshalini singh - May 18, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 20, 2010
"I had a blood disorder" - help with Descriptive Personal Essay

15 - Yep, it was interesting to watch you make progress with this one. I hope you stick around and keep...

Writing Feedbackhaeddleman - May 18, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 1, 2010
SAT: even though having a good leader is important, we should not blindly follow his decision

5 - Thank you for your advice :)...

Writing Feedbackpuroodsy - May 18, 2010 / puroodsy - May 20, 2010
Equal number of students:IETLS essay

4 - the indispensable role of education in a man's life cannot be overlooked: i meant to talk about importance of...

Writing FeedbackaJ_M_65 - May 18, 2010 / aJ_M_65 - Jun 4, 2010
Music and art in school essay

6 - In conclusion, undoubtedly, this is the era of computers and science. Therefore, schools must be flexible enough to...

Writing Feedbackprince303 - May 18, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 21, 2010
IELTS; MOVIES & TELEVISION CAN POSITIVELY INFLUENCE PEOPLES' BEHAVIOR

2 - try to avoid writing firstly, secondly.. instead use sentences like one of the significant reasons.. over all good ideas,...

Writing Feedbackphuocqui - May 17, 2010 / prince303 - May 19, 2010
Theatre Under The Stars

NEW - The popular musicals titled Shrek the Musical and West Side Story will be joining another popular musical that had...

Writing Feedbackshane123 - May 17, 2010 / — -
ielts essay: Advantages of attending school from a young age

2 - HI..SEPIDEH You have some grammatical errors in your essay.Which i guess, already been corrected by other users. Just remember...

Writing Feedbackgingerpopo - May 17, 2010 / prince303 - May 18, 2010
'dark metal genre'; About the Music and why it's important to many people?

4 - thanx alot bro for your notes,but unfortunately most of them are typos. i just want you to give...

Writing FeedbackPink1 - May 16, 2010 / Pink1 - May 17, 2010
"Fifty-Four Forty or Fight" History Research Essay

2 - Capitalize "River" because it is part of a proper noun. Columbia River I see a little typo: rejection...

Writing Feedbackicemaster2340 - May 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 16, 2010
"True beauty" is the good humanity

6 - I think your grasp of English is really good actually, but it just takes practice Tips on writing:...

Writing Feedbackyangzom - May 14, 2010 / meisj0n - May 20, 2010
Children have trend to be significantly more violent and careless in their study and social life

5 - Hi! Here is a little feedback I'll add to the great advice that has been given... It is...

Writing FeedbackPink1 - May 14, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 16, 2010
Questioning authority is important for improvements and innovations in many fields.

NEW - Here i am posting my first essay. I will be really grateful of you to comment on this....

Writing Feedbacktyro - May 14, 2010 / — -
About Malaysia's problems

NEW - Every country has it own problem, for example, Iraq/Iran is facing a terrible war, Africa is facing poverty, and...

Writing Feedbackcelineccky - May 14, 2010 / — -
School teach for career or general knowledge (IELTS test)

NEW - i'm prepairing for the IELTS test and my teacher give me this topic question. help me to check for...

Writing Feedbackviebboy - May 14, 2010 / — -
Text messaging: write about an invention that has changed your life

3 - The invention that made the biggest change in my life was text messaging. This discovery changed my way of...

Writing FeedbackLordBartosz - May 14, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 15, 2010
"Failure is necessary for education to take place?" - grade my essay

5 - thank you very much....

Writing FeedbackMizo Metallic - May 13, 2010 / Mizo Metallic - May 19, 2010
CBEST Writing: My favorite subject/course in school (Korean Literature)

2 - Don't capitalize high: When I was in high school, my favorite... Thanks, Shalini, for the work you did...

Writing Feedbackimhe - May 13, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 15, 2010
Technology, one offspring of science, is a world of imagination being made true

7 - to some extent* :? Interesting way of approaching the prompt. placing down arguments for the assertive and...

Writing Feedbacktriplesmickey - May 12, 2010 / meisj0n - May 22, 2010
"Is personal satisfaction the motivation for people to achieve?", covers point?

3 - Thank you! I got a 98 on this paper, so yeah, I guess I didn't miss the point. Sometimes...

Writing Feedbackstephen1341 - May 10, 2010 / stephen1341 - May 12, 2010
Sex Education In Schools and Colleges Is A Must.

2 - Pathetic is a word that seems judgmental, so it is better without it: ...It indeed is the pathetic plight...

Writing Feedbackabhisheksahai - May 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 11, 2010
"beauty" and "travelling"

2 - You are saying 2 different things here. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so the way...

Writing Feedbackhallohallo - May 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 11, 2010
Childhood Experience-Writing Practice ("my parents are still my best friends")

4 - In addition, when I was in teenager(when I was in teenage) While my father was driving , we...

Writing Feedbackimhe - May 9, 2010 / willy0123 - May 10, 2010
Mrs. More: Describe a person you most admire, and the impact they had on you

2 - Please, check the Tenses you have used in your essay. In several phrases you are mixing them by using...

Writing Feedbackyahyabluecat - May 8, 2010 / milan2003_07 - May 10, 2010
"She pulls the knife out..." - Short Story Help

4 - Don't switch verb tense: She stabbed Liam in the stomach. Liam was yelling... Yes, you certainly seem to...

Writing Feedbackchitown31 - May 8, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 12, 2010
Toefl ibt writing Q2: University classes attendance, requirement or option ?

3 - Great corrections, "name here" Notice that "name here" added an apostrophe like this ' optional to enhance students'...

Writing Feedbackfrederic80 - May 8, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 10, 2010
"health" again for my school leaving examination :)

3 - thank you very very much :) you are all so nice!!...

Writing Feedbackvalentina - May 8, 2010 / valentina - May 8, 2010
The important lesson is life. The best teachers for the life are parents.

4 - Generally, people should count( consider) their parents as their life's teacher.Because they had got more experienced life. They could...

Writing FeedbackShukur - May 7, 2010 / babydoll - May 16, 2010
Happiness for my school leaving examination :)

4 - Here is a part that we can fix up a little: Money, power, beauty, an expensive car, or a...

Writing Feedbackvalentina - May 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 8, 2010
Difficulties faced today are greater than yesterday - GRE Essay Preparation

NEW - I am a beginner here. I am trying to improve my essay writing skills. Below is my first practice...

Writing Feedbacktyro - May 6, 2010 / — -
fossil fuel energy, "The Power and the Glory"

7 - Thanks so far EF_Kevin ;-). I will think about your solution....

Writing Feedbackgotten - May 6, 2010 / gotten - May 14, 2010
Growing up in a rural area provides an easy-going life pattern to children

3 - Since there are various specialized education systems in the city, it will help the children for education. - Existence...

Writing Feedbackbillryu94 - May 6, 2010 / Azeri - May 8, 2010
Wine Fermentation

3 - Okay, the good news is that this essay is obviously very well researched and informative. However, it seems to...

Writing FeedbackG_D087 - May 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 8, 2010
Machines have many great features that are impossible for human to compete it

3 - many thanks for your help. i must work hard. god willing i won't have these kinds of problems in...

Writing Feedbacksina1989 - May 5, 2010 / sina1989 - May 7, 2010
My research assignment on binge drinking and the health effects, review request

12 - This is a case where you say 2 things, and each thing should have a whole paragraph written about...

Writing Feedbackbondsemerson - May 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 14, 2010

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