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|Career goals and importance of college education in attaining them
12 - To Kevin- Thank you so much your advice will help me make my essay more consistent and organized. To...
Undergraduate4ever2bleed - Oct 12, 2008 / 4ever2bleed - Feb 15, 2009
|Describe your educational and career goals - a summer research program
Undergraduatedukle - Feb 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 15, 2009
|MICA application: (Autobiographical Essay)
3 - Haha, thanks Kevin. Those are some good points, I know I tend not to explain a lot when there's...
Undergraduateflio191 - Feb 13, 2009 / flio191 - Feb 13, 2009
|U of Michigan Short Answer - Diversity, engineering
5 - For [A] I think you should omit the first 3 sentenses since the prompt does not ask for this....
Undergraduatejucks0r - Jan 31, 2009 / Baiwanyu - Feb 13, 2009
|'The Lord spoke to me' - UW transfer personal statement
5 - My friend inspired me to follow my interest by taking up a few courses on visual communication. Hey,...
Undergraduategookie - Feb 11, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 12, 2009
|'I became a quadriplegic and now must get around in a motorized wheelchair' - "Why attend NYFA?"
10 - Yay! I got in! I want to thank everyone who gave me their advice and criticism. Thank you so...
Undergraduatearbennett - Jan 26, 2009 / arbennett - Feb 11, 2009
|'level of programming' - Personal essay for transfer admission to the University of Pittsburgh
Undergraduateljd - Feb 10, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 10, 2009
|Background, interests, personal and professional accomplishments
Undergraduatemimi - Feb 8, 2009 / rlaguswjd89 - Feb 10, 2009
|U of Texas, Austin Topic A (every stage of my life)
9 - Well, if anyone tries to steal your essay, you show that it is YOUR original work because you gave...
UndergraduateKeonYe - Jan 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 9, 2009
|Lehigh Supplement A, "never limit my academic potential"
4 - Lehigh knows they stand out, and knows theyre great. Do some research, find values off their website or...
UndergraduateFriarup819 - Feb 8, 2009 / sweethypnotic - Feb 9, 2009
|'System and education of Germany' - Essay for ohio state university
Undergraduatetojusandra2004 - Feb 3, 2009 / tojusandra2004 - Feb 7, 2009
|Do I have to take MCAT for Pharmacy ?
6 - Pharmacy has something called the PCAT exam. pearsonassess.com/haiweb/Cultures/en-US/site/Community/PostSecondary/Products/pcat/pcathome.htm...
Undergraduatemenamilad - Jan 31, 2009 / sara213 - Feb 6, 2009
|Short Response Questions (2 goals, difficult situation): Stevenson Uni
3 - Maybe you can try different ways of starting each response Q: Describe a time when you were having trouble...
Undergraduatexxkixzplayaxx - Feb 4, 2009 / KeonYe - Feb 6, 2009
|Short answer for CommonApp (the Art of Observing)
5 - Some more suggestions: "the Canon A560 I have, though, has become familiar to me" "it turns out...
Undergraduatekelzdc - Jan 28, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 5, 2009
|U Michigan Setback essay ("departed from high school since graduation")
8 - Kevin did a really thorough job of going through your essay, but here a few more fixes you could...
UndergraduateJHazuresky - Jan 31, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 4, 2009
|"How are you doing Mr. Salac?"; Person who Influenced Me
Undergraduateemaysi - Feb 3, 2009 / emaysi - Feb 4, 2009
|the passion for mathematics and sciences - U of I admission essay
5 - The first paragraph, in which you talk about always asking "why," would seem to indicate that you could turn...
UndergraduateMiZZL3L3 - Nov 11, 2008 / EF_Sean - Feb 4, 2009
|About My thesis statement!(USC TRANSFER)
Undergraduatevincent0123 - Feb 1, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 4, 2009
|Why do you want to change careers? Medical Research to Nursing
Undergraduatedestine - Feb 4, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 4, 2009
|"conflicting cultures" - COLUMBIA ADMISSION ESSAY
9 - A really well-written essay. The opening line does need a bit of work, though. When using a metaphor, you...
UndergraduatePranav91 - Dec 14, 2008 / EF_Sean - Feb 3, 2009
|INTELLECTUAL INTERESTS; 'I love to study psychology and learn about behaviors'
Undergraduatelenzie09 - Feb 2, 2009 / EF_Team - Feb 3, 2009
3 - decided to visit various colleges and... ...schools online and believed that had made up my mind... Hey,...
UndergraduateFrancaruso - Feb 2, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 3, 2009
|'volunteering at Ability First' - University of Southern California Transfer Essay
10 - Alright thanks, sent in the app. If possible please delete this thread or edit my posts to remove my...
Undergraduateessayheaven - Jan 17, 2009 / essayheaven - Feb 2, 2009
|Penn State - career goals and personal statement - (aspiring engineer)
Undergraduatejucks0r - Feb 1, 2009 / jucks0r - Feb 1, 2009
|Indicate how you first became interested in SLU
5 - Use quotation marks, like this: "In which state are you going to study next year?" my guidance counselor...
Undergraduatehahieu123 - Jan 31, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 1, 2009
|USC Admissions Essay (Cinema Major) - an external influence
3 - ...glazed with rain on the evening of... His backyard was sprinkled... floated across the murky water, among...
UndergraduateZagayer - Jan 31, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 1, 2009
|UMich - Discuss an issue of local concern, today's teens
2 - This essay is well-written. If you had more time and space, I would suggest engaging in a more in-depth...
Undergraduatenurit91 - Feb 1, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 1, 2009
|'Team leader and vice president' - How has your Environment influenced you
Undergraduatesantanaelissa - Jan 31, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 31, 2009
|U Chicago, desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future.
5 - I was staying in New Jersey and only for a limited amount of time. I did, however, perform extensive...
UndergraduatePranav91 - Jan 31, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 31, 2009
|UofM-Setback Essay ("be active and outspoken in both business and life")
4 - As I walked in a daze down Wall Street, I bumped into numerous rushed business people with their cups...
Undergraduatejakethesnake312 - Jan 31, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 31, 2009
|UAlbany Admission Essay. Unsure about rough draft.
Undergraduateashurii - Jan 31, 2009 / ashurii - Jan 31, 2009
|Gettysburg Supplemental essay; Most Impressive Performance award
4 - No, no the second paragraph is fine, I just meant the words to the song. The conclusion is great....
Undergraduategetitlow - Jan 30, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 31, 2009
|We have only one space left in UB's freshman class, tell us why you deserve for this place? Buffalo
16 - Thank you alot Kevin and all the moderators , contributers and members who helped.. i submitted it ... and...
Undergraduatemenamilad - Jan 21, 2009 / menamilad - Jan 31, 2009
|my writing and communication skills, help with mt saf
3 - So, for example, you might talk about how you are a good listener who can easily understand and empathize...
Undergraduateminny - Jan 31, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 31, 2009
|'From Cuba to the USA' - UCF Admission Essays Help
7 - For the first essay, you might want to elaborate on this "Then on the other side I learned and...
UndergraduateRocksrntpeople - Jan 28, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 31, 2009
|I'm independent, persevering, enthusiastic and abiding goals type of person
4 - thanks...
Undergraduatesantanaelissa - Jan 29, 2009 / santanaelissa - Jan 31, 2009
|Personal statement AUS
4 - It is because I find chemistry so fascinating and the idea of chemical engineering so appealing, that I have...
Undergraduatenetfreak - Jan 30, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 31, 2009
|"to smile and be enthusiastic" - Umic Diversity short answer
2 - Their reactions made me and happy and melted my heart and they made me confident, happy, and blissful. Even...
Undergraduateysleung - Jan 30, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 30, 2009
|Cornell: School of hotel administration
2 - ...who wants to have an early focus... ...the management of organizations , and ... The quality biggest...
Undergraduateserendipity123 - Jan 30, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 30, 2009
|UMich short answer 1 (cultural difference)
3 - I think it would be better without the quote from En Carta. You can start with an original, interesting...
Undergraduatesumantneo - Jan 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 30, 2009
|Stevens Inst. of Tech: how your ungrad will contribute to 21st century
3 - Through the application of creativity, inquisitiveness, and analytical skills, engineers collaborate together to build astonishing structures, apply new technological...
Undergraduateyasin391 - Jan 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 30, 2009
|USC Short Answers (Cinema Major)
4 - These are great. Well written and interesting, and the last one was very funny, it's great that you put...
UndergraduateZagayer - Jan 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 30, 2009
|'Do not stop questioning' - umich short answer (250 words)
3 - Take out commas that interrupt col rhythm, and you can make it direct and powerful, like a sword thrust:...
Undergraduatethatshot550 - Jan 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 30, 2009
|I have always prided myself on my ability to make delicious rojak - U of Wisconsin
7 - This version is great! I like everything about it. You seem like an interesting, humble, well-spoken student with a...
UndergraduateKeonYe - Jan 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 30, 2009
|My commonapplication "The Picture"
7 - Hi, I read your essay and I think you've done a good job. Very thoughtful. You've built a bridge...
Undergraduategetitlow - Jan 28, 2009 / serendipity123 - Jan 30, 2009
|UMich Essay: Discuss an Issue of Local Concern ("The British are coming!")
7 - Very good essay!! You explained the prompt thoroughly and you clearly defined the local concern of buses needing to...
Undergraduatedrman54 - Jan 20, 2009 / yasin391 - Jan 29, 2009
|(Reborn Me) - U of Texas Topic E Issue of Importance
2 - This experience has completely changed me. Before this, I never thought street dance and Chinese dance could be combined....
UndergraduateKeonYe - Jan 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 29, 2009
|'Indian students / China-Singapore' UMichigan, diversity and how you can contribute
11 - i know what you mean with the confusion on the question. i had the same problem when i wrote...
UndergraduateBaiwanyu - Dec 31, 2008 / thatshot550 - Jan 29, 2009
|I like to consider myself as a fledgling learning how to fly. USC transfer - me against the world
Undergraduatemjinoh1220 - Jan 27, 2009 / mjinoh1220 - Jan 29, 2009
|Photography- spontaneity - supplement essay
4 - Greetings, Your writing seemed very much engaging. Though I felt some change might be necessary: "Thus I practice...
Undergraduategetitlow - Jan 26, 2009 / fantasy - Jan 29, 2009
|The Struggles of Being An Albanian Female, admission essay
Undergraduatethatshot550 - Jan 27, 2009 / thatshot550 - Jan 29, 2009
|The Unspoken Journey of an Evolving Ambition
6 - I don't understand this part: ...that the school acknowledged so much. Oh, I finally figured out what you...
Undergraduatejerrymorinvil - Jan 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 29, 2009
|Admission Essay: Transfer student short essay.
Undergraduatemrk006 - Jan 27, 2009 / mrk006 - Jan 29, 2009
|Gettysburg Supplement essay?
4 - It would help if you posted some examples you were thinking of considering using. Then maybe we could help...
Undergraduatenikesh09 - Jan 27, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 29, 2009
|FSU undergraduate essay, writing about the struggles.
3 - Video games tend not to have quite the academic cachet that you would normally be aiming for in this...
Undergraduateaustinkline - Jan 28, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 29, 2009
|"Junior Reporter" - commonapp short answer - it's too long
5 - One minor grammatical fix: "horror tales (especially for Halloween)," You need something to set off the extra clause, but...
Undergraduatejjmmklm - Jan 27, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 28, 2009
|Marines mean Business - it provides wealth of unique experiences and leadership opportunities
Undergraduatejoe12o6 - Jan 17, 2009 / joe12o6 - Jan 28, 2009
|Suggestions for commonapp personal essay-a dot in the sky
Undergraduatefantasy - Jan 26, 2009 / getitlow - Jan 28, 2009
|Umichi transfer short answer (respect for differences)
6 - I then had a great talk with the mysterious American friend. somehow i agree with mustaa.. it might...
Undergraduatejapanese magic - Jan 24, 2009 / KeonYe - Jan 27, 2009
|"A Thinking Person" - Law School Personal Statement
7 - I entered the 8th Bernard C. Kissel Student Speaker Competition in March of 2007 . I embrace working...
Undergraduatedmly - Jan 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 27, 2009
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