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|Texas Common application- someone who impacted...
5 - hey , I'm applying for the same university too through applytexas.com ; however , there is no essay requirements.....
Undergraduatedavphan - Jan 14, 2009 / menamilad - Jan 27, 2009
|The Economics is my favorite subject and I'm interested in CO-OP Management program - Short essays
10 - However, I admit that I make some minor errors in grammar and punctuation. You don't need the "s" at...
Undergraduatesakibniaz - Jan 25, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 27, 2009
|Commonapp Essay (an inestimable lesson)
5 - thank you very much, Kelvin. I really appreciate that! Also, the next time, I will follow the forum's rules...
Undergraduatenvminh91 - Jan 26, 2009 / nvminh91 - Jan 27, 2009
|essay for fsu (the freshman basketball team and more)
6 - I was on the freshman basketball team my freshman year of high school ,which took a lot of effort...
Undergraduatekesh561 - Dec 26, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Jan 27, 2009
|Sports Psychology/BEd Concurrent Program Essay
3 - first-hand My reasons for participating in sports , I believe, reflect the character and determination that will enable...
UndergraduateMjrosko - Jan 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 27, 2009
|Those blessed with the curiosity to learn &search are forever Young/ SOP- Tourism
3 - thanks a lot...ive made corrections and submitted my SOP last friday !! nd yeah... sorry for the late reply...
Undergraduatepipi - Jan 18, 2009 / pipi - Jan 27, 2009
|What domestic or international travel destination best defines you and why?
7 - I think you can simply fill in the box " please refer to my attached answer to this question"...
Undergraduatekofpower2411 - Jan 22, 2009 / getitlow - Jan 26, 2009
|the transfer essay (setback you have faced)
Undergraduatesushi bar - Jan 24, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 26, 2009
|Immigration reform in the United States during the economic crysis period. Issue of Importance essay
16 - This seems much better! It still cries out for a suggestion, a solution you would promote. You are right...
Undergraduateeharvey03 - Jan 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 26, 2009
|"An Unexplainable Happening" - a personal narrative about a memorable event
UndergraduateCrystalP - Jan 25, 2009 / silverystars - Jan 26, 2009
|My first Essay. how a college education will change your life
28 - Interesting, as I've not given that much thought about how religion can be seen as a negative in...
UndergraduateJack10977 - Jan 11, 2009 / silverystars - Jan 26, 2009
|USC HOPEFUL ("passion is striving")
3 - This first sentence should be more specific... what is your intended major? All my friends knew the...
Undergraduatelilahahadi - Jan 25, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 26, 2009
|"Camera is interesting." Personal Statement
Undergraduatematrixwky - Dec 29, 2008 / matrixwky - Jan 26, 2009
|My association with computers began long before people of my age could lay their hands on one; SOP
Undergraduatesharon108 - Jan 22, 2009 / sharon108 - Jan 26, 2009
|University of Wisconsin - land rich in tradition
UndergraduateInfinity09 - Jan 25, 2009 / Infinity09 - Jan 26, 2009
|Common App and how to start the art supplement?
15 - I thought the commonapp art supplement is only asking for a URL which have your art works presented... in...
UndergraduateULL - Jan 11, 2009 / last_min_girl - Jan 24, 2009
|An important issue ("She is always")
UndergraduateElainephuong - Jan 21, 2009 / mustaa - Jan 24, 2009
|What does critical thinking really entail? - essay references and ideas
Undergraduatedennis - Jan 22, 2009 / dennis - Jan 24, 2009
|about the additional information (practice my Chinese penmanship)
Undergraduatelove and peace - Jan 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 23, 2009
|Macau, transfer essay, (Influencing Destiny)
2 - How about a colon insteade of a semi-colon after "...looking at this society: Now, the whole first paragraph...
Undergraduatetaihongcomet - Jan 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 23, 2009
|USC transfer essay ("Welcome back")
Undergraduatejinwho81 - Jan 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 23, 2009
|USC "Only passions, great passions" USC Transfer Essay
5 - Here is an idea: Sporting those oh-so-trendy, skinny jeans that have solidified my nickname as "chicken legs" is...
Undergraduatehopefultrojan12 - Jan 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 23, 2009
|"Sports fanatics" - My activities have helped me understand the workings of different world cultures
4 - Also, don't forget to capitalize the personal pronoun "I" and days of the week consistently throughout your essay....
Undergraduatemenamilad - Jan 21, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 22, 2009
|Overcome a dissapointment essay
4 - Yes, it answers the prompt. I can tell that you have a lot of willpower and determination. These...
Undergraduatethehighway - Jan 22, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 22, 2009
|SUNY or Common App which is better ?
9 - if you have time do as much as possible, write as much essays as possible to show you're that...
Undergraduatemenamilad - Jan 20, 2009 / zowzow - Jan 22, 2009
|FSU ESSAY ("what I would attempt")
Undergraduatelaurajay - Jan 20, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 22, 2009
|University of Texas Transfer Essay A ("cultural understanding")
6 - Thanks Sean and Kevin. You're right I need to tweak it a bit for that second paragraph. Menamilad;...
Undergraduateeharvey03 - Jan 19, 2009 / eharvey03 - Jan 22, 2009
|"My name is Sonia Weitz, & I'm a Holocaust survivor"; Person - significant influence
7 - This is very nice! I suggest combining the last two paragraphs, but more importantly, I suggest adding a sentence...
Undergraduatestephanierose - Jan 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 21, 2009
|"The biggest fear is fear itself." - application essay
Undergraduatepallakg - Jan 17, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 21, 2009
|"The poor environment in China" - USC short answer
Undergraduatetammyleung - Jan 20, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 21, 2009
|Diversified Health Occupations class essay, need help.
4 - In my opinion, your reasons of choosing that class is a little bit self-centered. Your major is about health,...
Undergraduateiluvmatt - Jan 19, 2009 / Elainephuong - Jan 21, 2009
|"What qualities do you feel you would bring to our institution?"
Undergraduatetisluke - Jan 19, 2009 / tisluke - Jan 20, 2009
|Conditional Admissions Essay for Pharmacy at Pitt !!
Undergraduatejrand17 - Jan 19, 2009 / jrand17 - Jan 20, 2009
|'I wanted to become a Veterinarian' - Inspiration at the Kennel
38 - Thanks again Kevin. I am glad that you were able to help me during this stressful process! I will...
Undergraduatejennc09 - Nov 16, 2008 / jennc09 - Jan 20, 2009
|An important issue essay (UT), from Korean point of view
Undergraduategrandialove - Jan 18, 2009 / grandialove - Jan 20, 2009
|What have you gained from the activities and experiences listed in Part VI, you'll use in McIntire?
8 - "The scripts were surprisingly easy to understand thanks to computer science courses and felt that a week or two...
Undergraduatethehighway - Jan 9, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 20, 2009
|The day when Kolkata faced a severe crisis still remains etched in my memory
3 - Here are some more ways you could shorten your essay: "The author had scripted something which was sacrilegious...
UndergraduateAstrix - Jan 18, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 20, 2009
|Short answer essay questions (yoga, tennis)
5 - Most of the sentences are pretty good. You might want to make the following change, though: "On a...
Undergraduatevolleyball09 - Dec 14, 2008 / EF_Sean - Jan 20, 2009
|'I purchased a discovery' - Help with essay--University of Washington
5 - i had the same concer, but my english reassured me that admissions love reading short papers, its a break...
Undergraduatelw822 - Jan 14, 2009 / vkwang - Jan 19, 2009
|U of Chicago: " Powers of Ten"
8 - Thank you!!...
UndergraduateSweetGirl - Jan 1, 2009 / SweetGirl - Jan 19, 2009
|'mixing chemicals together' - Personal Statement UCAS
5 - Hi! Well, start by telling the about the course of study you will pursue there, and get specific about...
Undergraduatemenamilad - Jan 18, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 19, 2009
|Appropriate word limit? - Write a brief statement regarding your educational plans at UW Madison
19 - "One of my core values comes from my family's constant maxim that helping others who are not so fortunate...
Undergraduatekuiinn - Jan 11, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 19, 2009
|Columbia Short answer (The Fu Foundation School)
3 - After reading My Life as a Quant by Emanual Derman, which describes Derman's years at Goldman Sachs, I confirmed...
Undergraduatelulu - Jan 18, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 18, 2009
|commonapp essay- elaborate an activity- tutor
3 - Where is this street that is the setting for this first sentence? I think this essay will engage the...
Undergraduatemndhlmmb - Jan 17, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 18, 2009
|Why did I choose UCF (Electrical & Computer Science program)
4 - Being the strong and die hard sports fan that I am, I'm going to need a strong and competitive...
UndergraduateChris18um - Jan 16, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 17, 2009
|Issue of Importance Topic ("advertising strategy")
5 - You could strengthen your essay by going into a bit more detail about just how destructive this trend is....
UndergraduateGemini - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 17, 2009
|LMU essay (risks in finding yourself) - in progress.
5 - Great advice from Kevin. You talk about all the things that are part of you, but then say that...
Undergraduatex soundclash - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 17, 2009
|Final U of M Essays Short Essays. Punctuation and Quality Comments needed
Undergraduatetimothyerdei - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 17, 2009
|Reflecting on life at 65-regrets, accomplishments ect.
8 - Well, if it's about money and the importance of saving, you could start out with something along the lines...
Undergraduatekatiejoojoo - Oct 29, 2007 / EF_Sean - Jan 17, 2009
|'HERO, A.D.A.P.T. and the Asian Club..' - UT Austin- Important issue (diversity)
5 - After reading Kevin's comments, I'm beginning to conclude that you probably need to rethink most of the essay, because...
Undergraduatexjba165 - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 17, 2009
|Optional essay, Aerospace Engineering
7 - Starting out with a current insight you have into aviation is a great idea. You could then trace the...
UndergraduateBackes27 - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 17, 2009
|Issue of Importance (Marriage). UT austin
2 - I'm not sure that you should necessarily go with arranged marriages as representing gender-inequality. You certainly could make a...
Undergraduatenoori1234 - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 17, 2009
|The figure who has had a foremost and perpetual impact on my life. UT App Essay about my dad
UndergraduateBackes27 - Jan 14, 2009 / Backes27 - Jan 16, 2009
|Common App short answer - "Ford technician"
3 - Oh, Sean made all the changes I was going to suggest! This is a strong little essay. What was...
Undergraduateminkujoo - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2009
|'The consequence of teamwork' - UT Austin Essay (optional)
3 - ...country's monetary policies. On a periodic basis, my classmates and I would be divided into groups and tasked with...
Undergraduatexjba165 - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2009
|Short Answer Response, two stories. Which one to chose?
Undergraduatestimpsimp - Dec 22, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2009
|UT ESSAY (Choose an issue of importance to you, education in Singapore)
3 - You don't have to capitalize "knowledge" here: An example would be the lack of Knowledge in personal finance...
Undergraduateleej88 - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2009
|short answer common app ("enrolled into choir")
3 - After having been told by friends that I have great aptitude for music , I enrolled into choir my...
Undergraduateearthtojm - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2009
|Texas at Austin essay (Lance Amstrong, impact on my life)
3 - Why don't you try writing one sentence for each of those points, and then see if you cannot extend...
Undergraduateshamveel - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2009
|'Accepting myself who I am' - UT admission, important issue. Body image
6 - Yeah, this essay is really strong and well-thought out. Normally I can at least find a few things to...
Undergraduatewerrextink - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 16, 2009
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