|Home / Writing Feedback [24,275] - page 381 of 405|
|A Separate Peace: Essay for 9th Grade (honors) English
Writing FeedbackNotoman - Sep 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 9, 2009
|MACHINES ARE BECOMING VERY SOPHISTICATED, WORKERS ARE BENEFIT FROM THAT,DISCUSS
4 - No, sorry. I can't rewrite your essay for you. Try to rewrite it yourself, using short, simple sentences. And...
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 8, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 9, 2009
|What are the good things and bad things about the place you live in? (Toefl)
2 - This essay lacks a conclusion. Even if it's only a couple of sentences, be sure to include a summarizing...
Writing Feedbacksaurabhjain162 - Sep 9, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 9, 2009
|Toefl topic--how is your generation different from your parents' generation?
Writing Feedbackmrarching - Sep 7, 2009 / xubis - Sep 9, 2009
|whether solving the problems needs understand the past?
Writing Feedbackangelwds - Sep 5, 2009 / angelwds - Sep 8, 2009
|Making A Difference (to save the environment)
9 - Perhaps you could condense the essay a bit too. The story itself is good, as it shows that you...
Writing Feedbackkmauer21 - Sep 1, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 8, 2009
|Is Death Penalty FAIR? Opinion essay.
3 - Oh dear. I agree that the death penalty should be carried out much faster than it currently is (if...
Writing Feedbacksecret_blossom - Sep 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 8, 2009
|SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT STUDENTS STUDY EFFECIENTLY IN GROUPS.DISCUSS
5 - All-caps is generally taken as shouting, whether in titles or in posts. Headlines are meant to shout, to attract...
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 8, 2009
|To what extent is your society effectively dealing with crime?
4 - First, you have to decide which country you are dealing with ("this country" is a bit vague when you...
Writing Feedbacklook416 - Sep 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 8, 2009
|Toefl topic:"When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has...."
5 - You have many issues in this essay. I will hit the big ones. Your second paragraph ends abruptly....
Writing Feedbackzkglr - Sep 7, 2009 / Catlady - Sep 8, 2009
|Children should start attending school at a very young age even b4 they can read
4 - you write a very small esssay, try to eleborate more. you can add play school that children should go...
Writing Feedbackliiintz - Sep 7, 2009 / niraj - Sep 8, 2009
|Everything began during the hot and breezy Summer ; Reality check essay
Writing FeedbackThumperSD - Sep 7, 2009 / ThumperSD - Sep 7, 2009
|CBEST: If you could be any age that you wanted to be, what age would you choose?
2 - Hmm... This is fine, but simplistic. I wonder if you might want to say something about valuing what you...
Writing Feedbackbubuvio - Sep 7, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 7, 2009
|Your favorite movie (in IMAX Theater)
8 - hello Sean! Thank you a lot for your message. I understand right now that i need to change the...
Writing FeedbackYulka - Sep 6, 2009 / Yulka - Sep 7, 2009
|CHILDREN SHOULD LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS AND TEACHER, GIVE YOUR OPINION
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 6, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 7, 2009
|"Like father, like son" - children benefits if they are brought up with care, love from their father
4 - Overall, it is necessary for a child to have two parents to develop perfectly. I think you should write...
Writing Feedbacksung_tung - Sep 4, 2009 / essay0405 - Sep 7, 2009
|"A bizarre charm" - An essay on my most promising bad fortune.
4 - Thanks for your time and consideration for my essay. Now, regarding the essay, it is not an assignment....
Writing Feedbackmikemorpheus - Sep 6, 2009 / mikemorpheus - Sep 7, 2009
|"That government is best which governs least" - CLEP essay feedback
4 - Thank you both for your responses. I did question some of the very points you touched on but decided...
Writing FeedbackCatlady - Sep 6, 2009 / Catlady - Sep 7, 2009
|iBTTOEFL essay - should university students take part-time jobs?
3 - Thanks catalyst0435! This really helps a lot. I guess I have to work on my grammar more often. When...
Writing Feedbacklitingjiao - Sep 5, 2009 / litingjiao - Sep 6, 2009
|MANYCOUNTRIES ARE ORGANISING INTERNATIONAL SPORTING EVENTS.DESCIBE PROS AND CONS
4 - Is it amusing or frustrating that you still capslocked your gratitude but not your essay? You capitalize strangely...
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 5, 2009 / catalyst0435 - Sep 6, 2009
|The restraint of power - "Of all the manifestations* of power essay
2 - "Overpowered" means overwhelmed by somebody or something with more power. I think what you mean is the exact opposite...
Writing Feedbackantest07 - Sep 5, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 5, 2009
|Do you think the educational benefits of test & exam outweigh any disadvantages?
4 - Sorry, no, we can't score the essay. But we can continue to offer suggestions and corrections for any other...
Writing Feedbackchaskie143 - Sep 2, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 5, 2009
|As a young man I'd choose to purchase a business instead of a house; TOEFL
4 - Your prose is clearly that of a non-native speaker, but is not "strange" in the way that you worry...
Writing Feedbackmrarching - Sep 4, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 5, 2009
|IN MOST COUNNTRIES PLANT AND ANIMALS ARE DECLINING ,TELL REASON AND SOLUTIONS
3 - And in most countries where birth control is freely available, birth rates tend to be below the level needed...
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 4, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 4, 2009
|Should government withhold information?--A GRE Issue topic
Writing Feedbackmathsam - Aug 11, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 4, 2009
|Essay about the happiest day of my life so far?
9 - That is a broad subject. Some rules are to be questioned, specially the ones that are there to...
Writing Feedbackdccb - Sep 2, 2009 / dccb - Sep 4, 2009
|GRE argument--Prescribe medication on men and women
Writing Feedbackyx200986 - Sep 4, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 4, 2009
|Qualities to be a good and complete student
11 - The thing is, what you should do depends very heavily on the level of proficiency you are striving for....
Writing FeedbackBlack_Code - Aug 25, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 4, 2009
|Toefl Question: Movies and books in a modern life
10 - So, this experience will maybe motivate you to read more often? The main general principle that you...
Writing Feedbackessay0405 - Sep 3, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 4, 2009
|Taking standardized tests to prove learning progress - Toefl IBT writing essay
6 - Well, this shows that is not a good prompt for the TOEFL, as it requires some cultural knowledge...
Writing Feedbacktuanlnc - Aug 25, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 4, 2009
|earth hour or how to save the world -essay
Writing Feedbackquia - Aug 30, 2009 / quia - Sep 4, 2009
|Mistakes make success--GRE Issue
Writing FeedbackHellgreeting - Aug 25, 2009 / yx200986 - Sep 4, 2009
|GRE issue---Government support or restrict scientific research
4 - Thanks, EF_Sean! I have learned a lot from your comment. I will be cautious to the problems appeared in...
Writing Feedbackyx200986 - Sep 1, 2009 / yx200986 - Sep 4, 2009
|esssay -global warming&natural disasters
8 - In the long term, burning off fuels in trying to grow up the industry for the better economy are...
Writing FeedbackHarryK - Aug 25, 2009 / jgv115 - Sep 4, 2009
|Purpose for earning more money should not become the main goal for us - toefl essay
6 - The grammar remains so rough that it is very difficult to follow what you are writing. "Some people...
Writing Feedbacksirius51 - Aug 30, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 4, 2009
|Her. A short and random idea.
11 - I was thinking about using this piece as a springboard for my Stanford essay also. Something along the lines...
Writing FeedbackLlamapoop123 - Aug 29, 2009 / Llamapoop123 - Sep 3, 2009
|Toefl essay -- planning and organization
5 - to start with, people now are faced with a more sophisticate society that before, emerging along with the development...
Writing Feedbackclaire echo - Aug 19, 2009 / sirius51 - Sep 3, 2009
|The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one.
2 - "The technology's development brings about many changes in our society, today. One of these changes is the way people...
Writing Feedbackstranger1130 - Sep 2, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 2, 2009
|TOEFL: Movies or television now play an important role in our life
Writing Feedbackdhanh90 - Aug 15, 2009 / sung_tung - Sep 2, 2009
|Cbest Essay - Proble in Community
5 - Try "Our community, Muirland Community, experienced a rash of break-ins last year" instead. You have various minor...
Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Jul 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 2, 2009
|time spent for studying and playing
6 - I think children need to concentrate on their study for a little time, and then they can play. concentrate...
Writing Feedbacksung_tung - Sep 1, 2009 / stranger1130 - Sep 2, 2009
|Narrative Essay Writing on Indian American Culture - Feedback
2 - There's so much drama in your parents' story. I'm wondering why, then, this essay reads so slowly. Part of...
Writing Feedbackkrnraj1310 - Sep 1, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 1, 2009
|Access to information about the defendant criminal record - Ielts writing task
Writing Feedbackorlando - Aug 29, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 1, 2009
|"We found no sign of my mother" - I thought what happened at the night was my allusion
10 - Not bad overall. A few comments: This doesn't quite work. Rephrase. Identify you? Or respond...
Writing FeedbackELL - Aug 29, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 1, 2009
|the multimineral Zorba pill (GRE argumentative essay)
3 - Simone and I have a long-running disagreement on whether it is a good idea to attack the methodology of...
Writing Feedbackchitra - Sep 1, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 1, 2009
|Similarity and comparison - GRE essay writing
Writing Feedbackprabudhak - Aug 31, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 31, 2009
|Students should be in control of their own education (IBT)
Writing Feedbacktuanlnc - Aug 28, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 31, 2009
|A concise narrative about an important event - UF Architecture college essay!
Writing Feedbackmshireling1 - Jul 16, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 30, 2009
|Spanish Language proficiency
15 - Once you have left helpful comments for two other forum members, then you can start your own thread...
Writing Feedbacksad_an6el - Aug 17, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 28, 2009
|The relationship between an organization and environment - essay
9 - The first sentence is awkward, due to the lack of an article in front of "business environment" and the...
Writing FeedbackTarunPathak - Jun 21, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 28, 2009
|'money and riches' - What Is the Purpose of Higher Education?
5 - If you seperate your paragaphs by an empty line then it's clearer & easier for everybody to read. In...
Writing Feedbacktho91 - Aug 25, 2009 / tuanlnc - Aug 28, 2009
|Education career. Everyday you deal with kids and their challenging behaviors. Why put up with that?
4 - Meh. This is fairly dull. Why not recount a narrative about a student you taught, so that we can...
Writing Feedbackrvw1919 - Aug 27, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 27, 2009
|it is important to find out if the decision will be popular with others (IBT)
5 - Your grammar and word choice are generally correct, so you are in good shape for taking the TOEFL. ...
Writing Feedbacktuanlnc - Aug 26, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 27, 2009
|Should we tell the truth always in order to preserve our friendship?
8 - First, you must register an account on this site. Then, On the right-top corner, there is the "New Thread"...
Writing Feedback123toilama - Aug 26, 2009 / tuanlnc - Aug 27, 2009
|GRE: Corporate executives' responsibility
Writing FeedbackJunYuan - Aug 26, 2009 / JunYuan - Aug 27, 2009
|traditional foods vs international fast food (which is bad)
Writing FeedbackEricc - Aug 15, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 26, 2009
|'Everyone was burned to crisp' - "Jacob" - grammar for my Essay?
4 - This part is confusing to me. You should state that Jacob insisted on quitting school first. Otherwise, there...
Writing FeedbackSPak - Aug 26, 2009 / Llamapoop123 - Aug 26, 2009
|[toefl] topic (dis/agree) There are times when lying is acceptable.
4 - I think lying for good purposes is not only acceptable but also necessary. White lies are sometimes very useful....
Writing Feedbacksugarzhi - Aug 26, 2009 / tuanlnc - Aug 26, 2009
|Old saying; 'experience is the best teacher' -Review for CLEP
11 - Should be an "are" here because of the word "and". ____________________________________________________________ _______________________ I would suggest including...
Writing Feedbacktg2009 - Aug 12, 2009 / JunYuan - Aug 26, 2009
|Non-traditional Student College Personal Essay
Writing FeedbackSFLady77 - Aug 25, 2009 / SFLady77 - Aug 25, 2009
|Home / Writing Feedback|