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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 469)

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Results of publicly funded scientific studies for free -help for GRE issue essay

4 - Ah, sorry I missed that. Well, then, I'd say that the essay is OK but not spectacular. For...

Writing FeedbackUlribe - Aug 10, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 10, 2009
Personal Essay - Travels; I have inherited my mother's wanderlust

4 - I love experiencing the magic and draw of various cultures, each with their own flavor and distinctions which seizes...

Writing Feedbacksarahstu - Aug 9, 2009 / Liebe - Aug 10, 2009
Summary-Response Essay - Celebrating Nerdiness by Tom rogers

5 - Your summary is okay. Your thesis should probably include a summary of the reasons why you agree with...

Writing Feedbackkingdomcome - Aug 2, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 9, 2009
"hard work leads you to success in your life" - need help in correcting my essay

5 - Your logic here isn't very tight. Overwhelming evidence suggests that hard work is in fact the key to...

Writing Feedbackpelaru - Aug 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 9, 2009
"Saying Goodbye"

4 - Thanks a lot for the help. I always have a problem with tenses. I'll try to take note of...

Writing FeedbackFearlessDare - Aug 2, 2009 / FearlessDare - Aug 8, 2009
Classification and Divison Essay on different "sources of energy."

6 - Natural fossil fuels, yes. Biofuels are universally considered renewable, as you point out. So, if petroleum becomes a biofuel...

Writing FeedbackReborn - Aug 3, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 8, 2009
Causes and Solutions for increasing traffic congestion

6 - I'm sorry, but we cannot tell you what your score might be as we are not trained IELTS scorers....

Writing Feedbackrosamond00 - Jul 30, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 7, 2009
For Eng 121 class: Use of critical thinking using Mary Postgate and Yellow Wall

5 - Also take out all of the "I assumes" and other I statements....

Writing Feedbackbiggestv - Aug 3, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 7, 2009
Looking for a review of My Philosophy Paper

12 - I agree with that advice in general. Good writers say what they have to say rather than telling...

Writing FeedbackAli MacLennan - Aug 2, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 7, 2009
Getting up early and starting day's work in the morning should always be preferred by people

4 - You need to attend to basics. For example, you must place a space after punctuation marks, as I have...

Writing Feedbackmansten - Aug 7, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 7, 2009
Originality and thinking - GRE Issue No:2.

5 - You disagree with the notion of originality? How so?...

Writing Feedbackdesigningsally - Aug 1, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 7, 2009
Archie isn't just a typical guy I've encountered in my life! - Unforgettable person

4 - Every one of us has met someone in our lives who may or may not have impacted our lives...

Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Aug 1, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 6, 2009
Dangerous sports and activities - for fun, money, or for nothing

11 - It's not so much that it sounds weird as that nobody knows it. This is a dictionary word that...

Writing Feedbacksugarzhi - Aug 3, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 6, 2009
Saving money for future is more useful than spending on travel.

2 - Is that true? How do you know? Students often start essays with an assertion that whatever they are...

Writing Feedbackgh52km42 - Aug 5, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 6, 2009
Essay on Urbanisation

2 - For what purpose did you write this essay? I see you've got it posted under undergraduate admissions essays, but...

Writing Feedbackkillerwind - Aug 5, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 5, 2009
Colleges for gain knowledge, new experience & prepare for future career - TOEFL

11 - Indeed. And, in literature as opposed to workaday prose, ornate sentences are still acceptable. (David Foster Wallace, anyone?)...

Writing Feedbackstardust - Jul 31, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 5, 2009
To be elected as the country's president gives prestige and honor.

2 - Do you know Corazon Aquino? If so, you must say how you know her. If not, then you have...

Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Aug 4, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 5, 2009
Cbest - Back to Basics

2 - One strength of this essay is your use of supporting evidence. However, you will need to work on your...

Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Aug 5, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 5, 2009
'Harmful effects on our environment' - Benefits and Drawbacks of Urbanisation

10 - Thank you Notoman, Sean, it definitely quenched my curiousity^^ I'll practice hard, and thanks for the website !!...

Writing FeedbackHarryK - Aug 2, 2009 / HarryK - Aug 4, 2009
Bringing emotion - television has destroyed communication among close people?

3 - Overall, quite good just little things i noticed. "According to the survey" -I think it would sound...

Writing Feedbackmomotou007 - Jul 30, 2009 / et_350 - Aug 4, 2009
"A government's role" - academic writing test IELTS to be correct

8 - You should always say what you are going to talk about in your introduction. That's what makes it...

Writing FeedbackPinklemon - Jul 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 4, 2009
"Who made history"--A difficult GRE Issue topic

9 - Private Joseph Martin kept a diary during the Revolutionary War. His detailed writings prove to be an invaluable...

Writing Feedbackmathsam - Jul 31, 2009 / Notoman - Aug 3, 2009
I closed my eyes and started the chanting!; The moment of the Lords.

11 - How does the speaker know how s/he sounded to others?...

Writing Feedbackmbjaya999 - Jul 31, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 3, 2009
Not eveything that is learned is contained in the books

20 - Very practical of you to give yourself another month. But, since your problem, in particular, has been thinking of...

Writing Feedbackorlando - Jul 20, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 3, 2009
If people want to have a good future they should have a careful plan

2 - I understand the reason for the meditation on religion with which you preface this essay, but I feel that...

Writing Feedbacktimmytos - Aug 3, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 3, 2009
Essay (On) Love

7 - This is a difficult topic to deal with. Our ability to describe any emotion is very, very limited. We...

Writing FeedbackOnd - Jul 30, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 3, 2009
The current technological innovation (the first writting in this web)

4 - Sean's advise is very sound. Follow it. Here's my advice: Don't use a translation devise when searching for the...

Writing Feedbackmoula_moula - Aug 1, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 2, 2009
The benefits of technology versus the costs

11 - Thank you so much!...

Writing FeedbackJanie Tine - Jul 23, 2009 / Janie Tine - Aug 2, 2009
Vimy Ridge,Day of Deliverance,Constitution Act;3 Defining Moments- Canadian History

4 - Okay, I suppose the analogy itself isn't so bad. But mostly, the intro consists of general statements that don't...

Writing Feedbackalicia15 - Jul 27, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 1, 2009
Food Stands Vs Eating at Home = Convenience Vs Quality

8 - there are more and more people now choosechoosing food stands or restaurants instead of home when having a meal....

Writing Feedbackfearistheenemy - Jul 22, 2009 / ruonan59 - Aug 1, 2009
The intellectual benefits of attending a university - advice my second GRE issue

17 - Thank you, Noto. I can understand the difference between great discoveries and the greatest discoveries. Your revision of the...

Writing Feedbackmathsam - Jul 27, 2009 / mathsam - Aug 1, 2009
Ielts essay: living and studying overseas

6 - Thanks both. I will avoid using those pronouns....

Writing Feedbackorlando - Jul 29, 2009 / orlando - Aug 1, 2009
My best friend in elementary school; Friendship forever

4 - I think the essay can be longer....

Writing FeedbackLibra - Jul 23, 2009 / designingsally - Aug 1, 2009
Essay on A Prayer for Owen Meany

18 - This is just so wonderful. Yes, by all means, talk about this in your essay, if you have...

Writing FeedbackTottenham125 - Jul 31, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 1, 2009
Social Work Theory, Skills and Methods Assignment

6 - Post the essay you submitted originally, and the comments you got back on it. That way we can give...

Writing Feedbackelzbietabielec - Jun 21, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 30, 2009
Correct and rate my essay essay. Its on laws being rigid or flexible

5 - Laws shape the country [omit comma] and the economy ....

Writing Feedbackdesigningsally - Jul 30, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 30, 2009
How my gay father, family and community have shaped who i am today - uc prompt

6 - I have to say that I was really impressed by your story. However, I think you put in it...

Writing Feedbackx country 001 - Jul 22, 2009 / Janie Tine - Jul 29, 2009
True Friendship Essay (living without friends)

12 - I think your revised essay is quite good. However, I am really confused with this. You said,"As we grow...

Writing FeedbackAlexbig - Jun 29, 2009 / Janie Tine - Jul 29, 2009
[TOEFL] Global events

7 - "Nuclear" is an adjective. "Money crisis" ought to be "monetary crisis." Sometimes people do use a noun as...

Writing Feedbackjohn6503 - Jul 28, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 29, 2009
[TOEFL] Being creative rather than planning.

16 - Right: Susceptible. Look it up....

Writing Feedbackjohn6503 - Jul 27, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 29, 2009
GRE essay: Sadness and happiness

8 - This sort of essay perhaps calls out for a discussion of the principle underlying the prompt. The prompt is...

Writing Feedbacksoarer - Jul 22, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 29, 2009
Illegal Aliens and Their Quest to Stay in the United States

3 - You also need to set up some background in your intro. So, for instance, why not just grant everyone...

Writing Feedbackswatson - Jul 28, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 29, 2009
Reasons why people listen to music

7 - I would recommend you to give specific genre of music that people would listen to relieve their stress from...

Writing Feedbackfearistheenemy - Jul 23, 2009 / john6503 - Jul 28, 2009
Work alone or in groups

10 - Oh I didn't read the question thoroughly, I thought it was asking whether you agree or not, which mostly...

Writing Feedbackfearistheenemy - Jul 21, 2009 / john6503 - Jul 27, 2009
Story that affected me most - my TOEFL essay

5 - Your grammar structure and sentencing skills look really professional considering that English isn't your first language. However, for TOEFL,...

Writing Feedbackfearistheenemy - Jul 17, 2009 / john6503 - Jul 27, 2009
First Essay: How to Pick the Right Fights

4 - Your essay suffers from some ambiguity about what you mean by "fights." The title suggests that are you are...

Writing FeedbackTamzus - Jul 25, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 26, 2009
"working outside the academic world" - Advice for my GRE issue

2 - One of the strengths of this essay is its nuance. Your distinction between academic fields and the specific examples...

Writing Feedbackmathsam - Jul 25, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 26, 2009
The New Bus Driver

7 - You can find a fairly comprehensive list of racial epithets here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ethnic_slurs Several of the terms listed are...

Writing Feedbackkennethfatty - Jul 25, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 26, 2009
TOEFL---"the young people should plan or organize."

3 - Can you imagine that a house is built without a plan or a house plan only contains a rendering...

Writing Feedbackphebe - Jul 22, 2009 / tiantian12 - Jul 25, 2009
web designers use the techniques of human psychology and brain structure...

5 - thank you very much......

Writing Feedbackmbjaya999 - Jul 23, 2009 / mbjaya999 - Jul 24, 2009
Good Boss, Bad Boss: Compare/Contrast Essay

27 - Oh, yes. People think that online courses will be easier but, because so much of communication occurs through...

Writing Feedbackbreeny - Jul 11, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 24, 2009
workaholic; Spending money on taking vacation, travelling is better than saving

4 - Pay attention to the time given! Hope you will do well in the test!...

Writing Feedbackjohn6503 - Jul 23, 2009 / trangquynh - Jul 23, 2009
graduation grieves me

3 - I find the choppy sentences and awkward phrasings add up to a kind of poetry. But, unfortunately, prose is...

Writing FeedbackLibra - Jul 22, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 22, 2009
Least Favorite Place Essay

8 - That would be the least original way to start the essay....

Writing Feedbackshamey - Jul 18, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 22, 2009
Letter to a Manager; You were delivered with different items to what you ordered!

9 - you have done a great job for your first letter. It contain mistakes but thats usual at first step,...

Writing Feedbackboonwah - Jul 16, 2009 / Cosmo Resources - Jul 22, 2009
[TOEFL] Observing or studying animals teaches us a lot about human nature

4 - oh, i did not mean to offend anyone, I will be more specify next time. Because my English is...

Writing Feedbackjohn6503 - Jul 21, 2009 / john6503 - Jul 21, 2009
CBEST Essay - Why I enter education field?

4 - "Then came an opportunity to volunteer at a daycare program for children with autism. I grabbed both opportunities, working...

Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Jul 20, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 21, 2009
Credit cards's advantages

8 - You forgot to leave spaces after a full stop and a comma....

Writing Feedbackonur - Jul 17, 2009 / john6503 - Jul 21, 2009
CBEST-writing: an unforgettable person; 'my grandfather always wore his black glass'

5 - "In our life, we may encounter different kinds of people and some of them have a positive or a...

Writing FeedbackEllen Wang - Jul 18, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 20, 2009
"Separate classrooms for male and female students" - practice ACT Essay

4 - And given how far ahead of boys girls tend to be academically, as reflected in university admission rates, many...

Writing FeedbackLukeLC23 - Jul 17, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 19, 2009

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