It is evident from the information supplied that the amount of oil production in the OPEC Middle Eastern countries is predicted to increase considerably. In stark contrast, oil production in else where is likely to fall.
Well, it is better that you have these parts separated in your essay - Introduction, Overview and the Body Parts. Accordingly, the second sentence of the above should move into the overview section. In the introduction, you should introduce the image presentation. In the overview, describe the main observations and trends very briefly. Do not have details there like figures and other data. They should go to the detailed paras.
What file? We don't find any file :( If you want to attach a file , use the "Attach file(s) " feature in the message block for uploading it. As requested by my client who wants to open a food concession stand at the stadiums , I madedid a research on the two graphs which illustrate the number of games and attendances in six stadiums. There is remarkable that Argonauts stadium has the highest attendance per game at 20000 people.
Undoubtedly, a house as a place for taking shelter from sunshine and rain or a place for taking a rest after working the whole day is a primary need.
Undoubtedly, the house is a primary need that provides us shelter to protect ourselves from hot sun and rain. It is nicer when your hook (the opening sentence) is shorter. The hook needs to be catchy , interesting, meaningful and relevant to your topic. It becomes a serious concern knowing the fact that a huge number of inhabitantsmany people cannot afford the accomodation.a house.
Most of us go toattend college or university to getreceive higher education after graduating from high school. Each human is unique and so does histheir reasons for going to college.that decision.
I like if you chose the second sentence as your hook. Here we go; Each individual is very unique and so does his or her reasons for pursuing higher studies after high school graduation.
Well ... it is difficult for us to understand the purpose of writing this essay. Is this for practicing for IELTS? of TOEFL? You should mention the reason in title itself so that we exactly know about that and provide you with more meaningful and task related comments.
The writer of the issue contends that in choosing university field of study some people think college student should have a decision on basis of their talents and interests, but some people think decisions should be on basis of finding jobs probability in the future. I
This suggests as if you are preparing for IELTS integrated Writing Task. Is that so?. :d
In education, it is believed that technology helpsthe students improve their scholastic performances. From my viewpoint, the richness as well as convenience of technology are two main factors that contributes to the students' progress in a large way.
To start with, since technology was introduced, students have been exposed to a wide range of information, which neccessarily broaden their minds.
Well, it is always good to post your essay prompt in full in the text block together with the essay. Then we would know what it exactly requires form you. Just mentioning it in the title is not really adequate for others to provide you with more meaningful comments.
People are God-givenwith god given talent ought to think they are very lucky. You need to pay lots of attention to your grammar.
In recent times, travelling by plane , air has become more affordable thanks to the dramatical decrease in airlines pricesdramatic decline in airfare prices. This (no semicolon) however, leads to the issue of enviromental pollution as planesair travel burn fossil fuels at a higher rate than any other form of transport. It seems to me that both governments and individuals have roles to play in this situationprotecting environment from this issue.This essay will outline some solutions to this problem and evaluate their potential effectiveness.
This is my first thread to EssayForum, your comments will be highly appreciated, Please mention the IELTS Band based on your judgment.
Ok .... the first thing I want to ask you is to include the prompt in the post. It helps us get an understanding about what it really requires from you :) It is anyway difficult to provide you with meaningful comments when we do not understand the prompt fully :(
ForIn my understanding, tourism can be an excellent mood of cultural exchangeunderstanding between both sides.the hosts and guests.
Nowadays, making a decision is extremely difficult compared with the past. People live in digital- ageda digital world today which changes all aspects of the entire our life.(no comma)Thereforeso we should use a new way for making a decision. I completely agree that people should never make a vital decision by themselves.
Well, I think you are going completely out of topic here. You do not introduce your topic in its real sence :(
Well, in the intro, you support one side of the issue. So, I believe it is easier and more effective for you to keep justifying that side of the argument in your body paras. Then it helps reader to be convinced as to why you think that way. Talking about both sides can be waste of time in convincing the reader about your opinion unless your prompt asks you to discuss both views.
I have an admin request - It is good if you include your prompt in the post for us to get a better understanding about it and help you write an essay that fulfills its requirements. That helps you earn more meaningful feedbacks from others too :)
To takeTake the UK, for example. (stop here) earlyEarly school leavers often find it difficult to get a job due to their lack of basic knowledge and practical skills needed in the workplace.by the job.
Well .... it is important that you include your prompt in the post for us to get a better understanding about it and help you write an essay that fulfills its requirements. Next time please include the prompt :)
There is no doubtsdoubt(or - there are no doubts) that advices advice aregiven by other people is very powerful and helpful.
Talent is one of the awesome things in the world and no doubt people who have talent are more better than others.
.... more and better are comparative nouns and one makes the other redundant. So you should have one of them only in a sentence. Some people suggest that talents isare a gift from god (no full stop) while others disagree and believe that looking deeply into each others and you can find different gifts, it need only develops.
The latter part makes the reader confused. I really do not get any meaningful idea from that :(
Broadly speaking, the younger people have to respect the older one.people
It is quite understandable knowing most culture teach their young generation such habit.
This habit of respecting the elderly people is encouraged by almost every culture. Today, however, the essence of this respect feeling seems likely to decline.to be declining.
One of the main reasons why the good respect in the past does no longer happen anymore is because of the drawback of non-educative TV program.
.... Well, here you have a few issues - vocabulary is not appropriate, less clarity etc. Give more prominence to your reasoning; One of the main reason why young people are less respectful towards the elders is that the influence of the TV programs that are more commercial based.
. While many people strongly believe that some specific subjects...
This sentence is too very long. Longer the sentence, less its clarity would be. Also, the reader is required to rmember so many details when the sentences are longer and that makes him bored. Write shorter sentences and enhance clarity of your sentences.
The most important reason why universities should allow equal number of male and female students forin every subjectcourse they offer is that, living in the world of freedom, students deserve the rights to choose their wishful majors so as to pursue their dreams, beautify their communities or simply exploit the best of their potentials.
Although, computers made our life easy but it has tendency to get easily effectedaffected by viruses which may cause of major damagesto the data that are stored in them.
First of all, computers are helping us to save our time and it is also help us to maintain environment green due its ability of paperless working.
....very clever idea. I like to present it a bit differently; First of all, computers help us save our time while maintaining the environment green with its ability to support paperless working.
It is obvious that our values and preferences change over flowingwith time. In the past- values such like honour or trust were the most important virtues of a person that defines his worthinessif it comes to person's worth . Today some people say that most of us look for more materialistic 'values'. But is it really so true and common?
Generally, it is recommended that you express your own opinion straight away in the last line of your intro for this particular task.
I totallutotally disagree with that opinion, because newspapers still have many benefits. Presses are usually published by official organizations which represent for publicare better regulated.
They show things that are actual in societies.
Therefore they are made more responsible for safeguarding the integrity of news that they publish.
As far as I am concerned, I agree with the view that the teacher is the best option for children's education in some aspects.
In the first place, school teachers are more qualified than parents in the field of education. For instance, to be able to obtain the teacher certificates, people need years of training at their normal schools to learn theoretical knowledge. However, in comparison to teachers, parents tend to have less knowledge to teach their children's subjects such as mathematics and physics.
This is very well written. You have justified your opinion here with a good reason. However, you should support that justification with a specific example. Overall, you have very good writing skills and can aim for a good score.
By contrast , consumers of residential services dropped slightly to just under $700. I think you have followed the most appropriate approach for this task. Pay attention to eddies comments to improve your writing further. Overall, I think you have responded to this task very well :)
With the significant progress of medical science, people are now able to live longer than they used to be.
Very good start :) However, increased life expectancy has many implications for aging individuals and for society as a whole.at large.
This essay will look at both the benefits and drawbacks of living long.
This is not really required to mention. I think it does not contribute any value addition to your essay and instead it tends to disturb your flow. You write very well - good grammar, vocabulary etc. :)
It is good if you included your full prompt in the post so that we can have a better understanding about what it exactly requires from you. Also, include the purpose of your writing this essay in the title itself. For example - IELTS, TOEFL
A society ismeantmeans the people of a country or a community taken as a whole . ... OR What is meant by the term of Society is that the people of a country or a community taken as a whole.
Technology changes people's life. Some sophisticated technologies provide possibility for employers to work at home rather than going to office.
Well, you seem to be repeating a little bit of the first sentence in the second one. It is good to avoid that. This is what I suggest;
Technology gets people to change their lifestyles. This is very evident with advanced communication technological solutions that have caused a decline in the need for people commuting to their workplaces.
The pie chart provides information what the mean of transports are preferred by people in Edmonton, categorized by private and public transport, while the table illustrates why people use the car in urban area.
I feel you need to present this more clearly. Pay attention to what others have suggested. Write simple and short sentences that help you enhance clarity of your ideas.
Follow the approach of Introduction, Overview and Detailed Paras. It is the best way you can tackle this task to gain a good score. In the intro, introduce the image presentation clearly. In the Overview, present the main trends/ observations. In the detailed paras expand your observations with the help of statistics and figures.
College or university is aprimitive choice of many students nowadays
.... a primitive choice? I feel you have chosen a wrong word there? Or what do you try to mean by that? College or university is an important choice for many students nowadays.
For them, college is a crucial step intothat decides the success of their future life which providesby providing them with many opportunities in life and each of them has different reasons to attend the college
Start a new line to tell the second idea; However, each student has his own different reasons for attending college.
Although the cost of traveling is increasing, people are trying to travel more than the past.
Well, there is a controversy here :( I believe the cost of travelling is now getting lower compared to early days as now there are many cheaper options in terms of budget transportation and accommodation. Many airlines and hotel offer very competitive deals to the travelers to safeguard their marketshare.
There are some reasons for this increasing which it will be discussed in this essay.
It is nicer when you conclude your intro with a sentence that clearly state your own opinion on the issue. The above line sounds a bit vague and it is not informing anything interesting to the reader.
It is not very clear what you expect us to do and I assume that you want our help to check your grammar on this sentence .... yes, it needs some corrections;
I have complitedcompleted my schooling from msbt (this I don't understand :( ... what do you mean?). i got schoolarshipI received a scholarship in the11th standard.8th and 9th std certified mts exam ...
Again, the last part is pretty confusing :( For what purpose you got this scholarship?
Today, I will write about the interests of mine. I very like football very much(no comma) and also listening to music. I always listen to music online, because I usually online working on my computeram doing an online job. I like eating meat, fish and drinking coffee. I like stuffingsurfing on the Internet, and writtenwriting blogs on technical subjects., it about technical.
Going back to college was a difficult decision for me to make. For almost six years I went back and forth with the idea of going back to schoolresuming my education and starting all over again.
I figured that the money I would be putting into a college education could go to something else.
I often contemplated on the money that I would be investing on furthering my education and wondered whether it would be worthwhile.
. I figured that the money I would be putting into a college education could go to something else. But what is more important than an education? Nothing.
Between these two sentences, you need to establish a better link. Your flow breaks here.
This essay will discuss both these positions and offer my opinion.
The reader anyway expects you to do this. I think your essay reads better without this sentence. You have excellent writing skills - Very good grammar, vocabulary, ideas, coherence :) I think you can aim at a flying score :) By the way, have you managed time well? Were you able to finish the task on time? If not keep practicing with time following one particular essay approach and that would help you greatly to improve your time management :)
However, the lecturer rebuts the author's reasons and asserts that attacks by predators is the most important reasons for that issue. .... well, I think it should be the most important reason, isn't that so? First, according to the passage,asserts that oil rigs and industrial chemical resources, based on water sample evidences, are the causes tofor the decline in the number of sea otters.
Students always enjoy some leisure time at the end of their high school and before entering university.
May be there are some students who do not enjoy any leisure and look forward to completing their studies. This is actually the issue in this essay and therefore it is important that you stay with your topic.
Firstly, working at young age introduces youngthemwith the real world to the young people. You write well... I like if you included more specific examples to support your reasons.
I hope you pay more attention to what Ahmad has pointed out in his first comment. The introduction of this task requires you to introduce your topic to the reader. Therefore you should not assume that the reader is aware of it. Introduce the topic first and then state your opinion to the reader :)
To begin with, the community may benefit from improved living standards once the factory is built. People arewould be provided with paid jobsmore job opportunities, which reduce the unemployment rate and contribute to the regional economy.
Although lots of people claim that technology and traditions are not compatable,compatible with each other many experts believe that they can co-exist in peace and harmony.
It is undeniable that technology affects traditions and ways of life. Although lots of people claim that technology and traditions are not compatable, many experts believe that they can co-exist in harmony.
Ok, what is your opinion about it? Your prompt asks you;
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
So you better express it before you conclude the introduction.
I have to say: lovely! Very good vocabulary, impressive structure, coherence is nice, no big mistakes except:
I agree with SalMon - yes, you have excellent writing skills - grammar, vocabulary, ideas ... everything seems perfect... How about managing time? Have you been able to finish it on time? Since this task is time bound, get hold of a good structure that you can keep following for most of your essays. Make sure all your points are supported by specific examples.
In the aids, donated by rich countrycountries to the poor countrycountries, we can feel pity and mercy as well as selfishness.
Hungers and disabilities have been assisted since long period of time by the capable persons, for what many organizations are born continually, which is the important side for the identification of human civilization.
You need to present your ideas more clearly to the reader in the introduction as it is intended for introducing your topic to the reader. Do not present your ideas in too complex sentences. Is this essay written for IELTS or TOEFL?
We have known each other for over six years, and what I have learned from her are: the passion in education field, the courage of facing frustration, and keep curiosity to the world.
I like if you split this sentence into two. Also, the third reason is not very clearly presented; We have known each other for over six years and she has been an inspirational friend to me from whom I learned some valuable lessons for life. She taught me the importance of being passionate about education, how to face frustration courageously and ??????
In today's fierce competition, the labor market has become more challenging for recent college graduates. Some people believe that, the rising of college gradlevel of unemployment due to lack of employment opportunities. Companies asjobsproviders do not need to recruit more workers due to the advance of technology.
Well... what is the purpose of writing this essay ? Is this for a college application? Or for IELTS? TOEFL? It is important for us to know why you wrote this essay in order to provide you with more meaningful answers.
In the today's modern era private motor vehicle has greatly improved individuals freedom by advancement in the automobiles.
Well, you have not presented this sentence in an impressive manner. This is your hook statement and therefore it needs to be more catchy, interesting, meaningful and relevant to your topic. This is what I would suggest;
In the modern world, private vehicles are one of the main contributors that enhance the quality of living standards of people.