Writing Feedback / Discuss the effects of modern technology. IELTS essay [3]

Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

technology makes people less "sociable"

Opinions differ as to whether new technology is causing a lack of sociability to its users in modern days. In my view, I believe technology is, in fact, making people less sociable.

To begin with, it is understandable why people say that high technology would get individuals more connected. One reason is that, with the help of the internet, distance is no longer a barrier when it comes to socialization. In fact, since the launch of online networking platforms such as Facebook and Snapchat, online users have been enabled to expand their connections to friends who are living in other regions. Furthermore, technology may cultivate individuals to keep searching for more friends. With a few simple clicks, people could find someone who shares the same interests and start chatting about their hobbies immediately. This way, users would become more interested and they will try to interact with more people.

However, I side with those who think that modern technology is damaging individuals' sociability. While it helps create a broader environment for meeting friends, relying too much on technology will result in weaker social skills. Indeed, due to less verbal communication, more and more people are now afraid of real-life talking. For instance, many millennials who are addicted to social networks nowadays could not seem to maintain an interesting and long conversation to others in actual business or social meetings. In addition, technology users have a tendency to only pay attention to their high-end gadgets and completely ignore face-to-face contact with other walkers on the streets. These issues have vastly decreased individuals' confidence in terms of verbal communication and made them disconnected to their peers and opportunities to make friends.

In conclusion, while new technology has an intention to get people more connected, it is adversely decreasing people's socialization abilities in real life situations, thus, making them less sociable.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 Writing: Printing newspaper and magazines will cease to occur in the near future [3]

Newspaper Topic

Some people believe in the era of e-technology, printing newspaper and magazines will cease to occur in the near future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is a common belief that conventional newspaper and magazines will disappear in the next few years as e-technology advances. In my opinion, I completely agree with this notion for the following reasons.

Firstly, paper-based newspaper and magazines are becoming inconvenient for people in this day and age. With the explosion of the Internet, global citizens now have the access to enormous sources of up-to-date information anywhere at any time, which allows people to fetch the latest news across the world without the hassle of going out to a local store. Undoubtedly, people will enjoy reading on their computers at home or office. Eventually, more and more people will stop purchasing the traditional newspaper, which is the first reason for the death of this type of media.

Secondly, old-school magazines cost money. While having to pay a couple of dollars for paper-based magazines every day in order to read the news, readers can read unrestrictedly free of charge with the help of new technology. As can be clearly seen, the online newspaper is definitely dominating the old style in terms of expense. As a result, e-magazines and newspaper will become the first choice of customers and printing companies will have to close their business to cut losses.

Thirdly, printed newspaper and magazines are not fit to store information in a long period. Indeed, these materials cannot be preserved because, after several years, the print will be faded and unable to read. On the contrary, new technology offers an unlimited database to store information which lasts perpetually. Added up to the first and second setbacks, this huge disadvantage of the conventional newspaper is a guarantee that such an obsolete type of media will no longer be found in the future.

In conclusion, I assert that, as e-technology keeps growing radically, the printing of newspaper and magazines will be ceased in the upcoming years.

I badly need to score a band 7 in GT writing. Please help me improve this one to a band 7 essay. Deeply appreciate your corrections.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 Writing: Discuss about studying in groups and studying alone. [2]

Some people believe that students in schools learn better when they study in groups. Other people say that students learn better when they study on their own. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A contrast between studying alone and group study

People have different views about whether studying in groups or alone is more beneficial to students' performance. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and give a personal thought at the end.

To begin with, it is understandable why people think that students can enhance their performance when studying in groups. One reason is that this way of studying helps suppress procrastination. In order to maintain their position in a group, students will have to work harder and finish their parts of the shared projects on time or else, they will be kicked out by other members. Gradually, people become more active and less lazy in their study resulting in better performance at school. Another positive impact of learning in groups comes from a sense of competition. In a competitive environment, each individual has the urge to surpass her peers and thus, great results come inevitably.

However, there are valid reasons to support the idea that studying alone improves students' results. Many people cannot focus on their task when being surrounded by others. Learning by themselves, therefore, is ideal for them to fully concentrate on dealing with their business and achieve personal study outcomes. In addition, studying alone allows students to obtain lessons at their own pace. Because they are not under any pressure of catching up with others, people will be able to understand every lesson thoroughly and effectively.

Based on my experience, I believe that group study brings more significant impacts on students' performance. One evidence is that many of my classmates in high school and university who studied in groups scored greatly in examinations whereas only some who chose the other study option succeeded.

In conclusion, while it does benefit to study alone, I think that academic performance will be significantly improved when students work in groups.

This is my first attempt to outline the structure suggested by Holt so there will be a lot of issues occurred. Please give me all your corrections to get this essay a 7. Much appreciated.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: The better selection for improving life quality in developing countries [2]

TECHNOLOGY vs FREE EDUCATION

Some people think that introducing new technology can improve people's quality of life in developing countries. However, others believe that free education should be offered. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Opinions differ as to whether advanced technology or free education should be offered to increase the life quality of citizens living in developing countries. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and deliver a personal view.

To start with, people's life can indeed be improved by high technology. Since the introduction of the internet, citizens of developing countries have been enabled to regain connection to their relatives from far. Unlike in the past, individuals are now able to see their family members more frequently without spending time and money in traveling. Obviously, people are happier when they see their children every day. Furthermore, the appliance of technology in the medical field has helped prevent many diseases. For example, the high rate of stage-4 cancer in developing countries has been significantly reduced since the appearance of CT scan system. Early diagnose of these diseases makes treatments easier and thus, lengthens life expectancy.

On the other hand, offering education free of charge should also be considered since it raises citizens' happiness by bringing equality to society. At the moment, the vast majority of the population are not able to afford fundamental education for their children. This is an unfair situation where the poor cannot obtain knowledge to fulfill their dreams despite their capacity to learn. As a consequence, social unrest occurs. With cost-free education system, everyone has the same opportunity to study to prepare for their future. Knowing that no one is more advantageous than another, citizens will accept their background, start studying for their own sakes and become happier.

In my opinion, giving out the study opportunity to all citizens in developing countries should be considered first. This is because, as of now, a massive number of poor children have a low living condition as they do not have a fair chance to learn and earn a better life.

In conclusion, while advanced technology is no doubt beneficial to individuals' quality of life, offering free education should be considered first for its wide-range effect.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: The benefits of multigenerational workplace [3]

Today, the younger and older generations are in the same workplace

.
Is this more an advantage or more disadvantage?

Seeing young generations sharing the same working environment with the older ones have become more common these days. This essay will argue that such development brings huge advantages to the workplace.

The increase in productivity is the prime reason to let people from different generations work together. While the creativity of the young blows new air to any business projects, the rich experiences of older workers help solve any problems or difficulties occurred. Their coordination, therefore, will significantly reduce the time required to finish the company's project while maintaining a high level of product quality. For example, thanks to the cooperation of the senior and the junior workers in the software department, my company has successfully delivered the final product to our customer two weeks before the deadline.

Moreover, the co-existence of workers of different ages will make the atmosphere in the office less boring and dull. Many people admit that they tend to avoid conversations with their colleagues in the same age group because the topics to discuss quickly runs out. This tendency will eventually turn an active and lively office into a silent retirement home where no one talks unless it is about work. Hence, a multigenerational office will be able to promote communication between co-workers as there are always things to talk about. For instance, junior workers can share their modern lifestyles while the seniors can remind the young generation of how peaceful and tranquil life was in the past, and the list of topics goes on.

In conclusion, putting workers of different ages together is definitely beneficial to any office as this development improves productivity and working atmosphere.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Future science will make human almost immortal. Is that good? [2]

lengthening humans' life span

Science will soon make people live up to 100 or even 200 years. Some believe this is a good thing while others disagree.
DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION

Opinions differ as to whether or not the excessive extension of humans' life expectancy thanks to advanced science in the future is beneficial. This essay will examine two opposed sides and put forth a personal view.

The massive prolong in the life span of people is a scientific breakthrough that helps keep multiple generations of families together. At the moment, a normal family only comprises of two to three generations which include grandparents, parents, and children. With the advancement of science technology, a future home will be able to gather members beyond the limit of grandparents. Some people consider this a positive impact because the more relatives alive, the more mutual support is available for each member.

However, there are valid reasons to back those who oppose. Such a development will put more burden on the younger generations. In order to sufficiently take care of the growing number of senior citizens, the young workforce will have to excessively increase their workload to earn enough money to support their families. Eventually, workers will run out of stamina and reduce their productivity at work. In addition, an issue of housing will occur. More elder people alive means more retirement homes needed to be built. With the residential areas have now reached a limit, there will no longer be enough room to shelter senior citizens.

In my opinion, helping people reach over 100 years old is not a good option unless they still have a 20-year-old man's energy. The world is already full of problems and therefore, putting more weigh on the shoulders of the younger citizens and consuming more living space seems to be unfavorable.

In conclusion, while it helps generations of many families stay together longer, I believe the effects that lengthening humans' life span brings are seriously detrimental.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Letter to college administration showing interest in a course [3]

You are interested in attending a short course at a college in an English speaking country. Write a letter to the college administration.
In the letter, you should tell:
·what course you would like to attend
·give details about your educational background and work experience
·what reasons make you choose this college.

coding course for gaming developers

To whom it may concern,

My name is Tuan Pham. I am writing this letter regarding my interest in signing up for the advanced coding course for gaming developers at XYZ college.

Allow me to give you brief details about myself. I am holding a master's degree in computer science and I have been working at a software company for 3 years. Recently, I have decided to work for a start-up company which produces gaming titles. I find this field quite challenging and I think your course will provide me with a complete insight into gaming coding in a short period.

The main reason why I select XYZ college for my training is that this institution has claimed a huge reputation among video game coders for many years. All of my peer developers who are specializing in computer games gave high feedbacks of your institution without hesitation when asked. Moreover, since XYZ college is located in Toronto which I have always wished to visit, it will be a perfect opportunity for me to explore this beautiful city during my training.

I look forward to receiving your response.

Kindest regards
TP

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Why money should not be spent on finding life on other planets [4]

IS SPACE RESEARCHING WORTH BIGGER INVESTMENT?

In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is argued that more money should be allocated to the searching of life on other planets in the future due to the predicted degradation of the surface and atmosphere of the Earth. I am strongly opposed to this idea.

First, there is little reason to spend more money on finding a new home for mankind in the universe when the Earth's condition can be improved by many viable solutions. For the water, the establishment of filtering systems will stop the spreading of garbage and toxic chemicals. Take Singapore for example, since the application of such systems in factories, the quality of water of this country has incredibly become cleaner. For the atmosphere, protecting and growing trees in large scales will help reduce air pollution. Likewise, Singaporeans are benefitted with fresh air thanks to the government's campaign to preserve a huge national forest.

Moreover, the possibility of finding evidence of life on other planets still remains a complete uncertainty. So far, numerous attempts by the scientists have failed to identify the existence of oxygen on the closest planet, Mars. The latest project of SpaceX confirms that there is no source of air available on Mars. Therefore, investing in this searching mission is quite impractical at this moment and even in the future.

Lastly, the amount of money required to relocate the entire mankind to another planet would be unimaginable if such a desirable place was discovered. The spaceship which carried only two pilots to Mars in 2012 cost almost 1 billion USD. If a planet with survivability was found, the cost of transporting human would be thousands of times multiplied.

In conclusion, I believe that money should not be spent on researching other planets as the ambition to send human away from Earth is far from reach. Instead, saving the Earth from future degradation is still possible.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Along with men, should the army recruit women? [3]

SEX EQUALITY IN MILITARY'S RECRUITMENT

Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy, and the air-force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that the army should be made available for women to sign up. I completely side with this notion because women's capability, quality, and desire to protect their home are now on par with men's.

These days, strength and stamina of the weaker sex have significantly improved. Not only do women become strong enough to handle heavier jobs in regular life, but they are also capable of carrying out extreme exercises in the army without issues. For example, female athletes were able to finish the 40-mile marathon, annually held in Austria, during cold weather while some men failed in the competition. This type of heavy training is also used for special forces and apparently, women have proved that they are physically qualified for serving in the army.

Another remarkable trait that makes women competitive candidates for armed forces is their absolute discipline. While male soldiers have a tendency to only follow orders to avoid harsh punishments, women usually have the highest level of attention in training and stimulated campaigns even without rules. This quality of female will come in handy on battlefields where sticking to captains' orders decides life and death.

Moreover, the will to defend homeland of women is as strong as men. Unlike the past when female's biggest concern was the safety of their children, modern women have broadened their mindset to defend their country. In Somalia, a small land in Africa, female civilians successfully arisen against the rebellions to protect the rightful government from collapse in 2005. The country later acknowledged the great patriotism of women and dedicated a separate institution to train female soldiers.

In conclusion, I believe that the army should not be restricted only to men. Instead, modern women's qualifications already make them a valued asset to any military forces.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Is direct actions or donation of money more preferable to help someone? [3]

THE BEST OPTION TO OFFER HELP

Some people prefer to help or support directly in the local community for people who need it, however, others prefer to give money to the national or international charities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Sharing and spreading support to unfortunate people is a beautiful act of humans. While some individuals tend to offer their bits of help directly to the in-need, others choose to donate their money to charities. This essay will discuss each preference and give a personal statement at the end.

A sense of fulfillment is the first reason why people want to support the community in person. For example, many volunteers working in nursing homes share that they find it highly rewarded to see the elderly, especially those who are not visited by relatives, enjoy their last years of life circle. The second advantage is that people can offer anything to help besides money. For instance, my classmates used to cook meals in give-away campaigns to feed poor patients during university.

However, time is the main reason that keeps most individuals from offering helps themselves. As much as their desire to support the unfortunate part of society, people have to work nine to five or more to afford their family's needs and to share a smaller portion to the poor. As can be seen, there is no time available to personally spread good actions. Therefore, these people opt to entrust their money with organizations to support the community on their behalf. Take Bill Gates for instance, the chairman of Microsoft has never been free from work. Still, he is able to fight poverty in Africa by contributing ten percent of his substantial asset to international organizations.

Personally, I side with those who favor funding charity foundations. I believe this method will distribute individual donations to larger scales, which means that people's support is not restricted to their own community but other areas as well.

In conclusion, while providing support to the in-need gains people's a sense of accomplishment, it is less time-consuming to donate and let a charity party globally handle individual contributions.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Plan-cancelling letter to a friend [2]

You and your friend booked two theater tickets in advance. Apology to your friend as you can't make it to the theater with him.

In the letter, you should:
·apologies
·explain what reasons you can't make it
·give options what can be done with the ticket.

flight tickets cancelling

Dear J,

I'm sending this message to inform that I won't be able to join you at the theater on Friday night.

I'm sorry that I have to cancel our plan this weekend due to an urgent situation. My boss has assigned me to go on a business trip on the same day in Danang because the junior employees are not qualified to handle this job. This deal is extremely important to the company and my career as my boss guaranteed a big promotion if I could seal the business.

I know that you have planned this night for months and you really want us to be in the movie premiere together. However, since this trip determines my future, I'd have to skip this time.

If you accept, I'd like to give my ticket to Tim, a friend of mine. This guy is hilarious and easy-going. I believe you'll have an amazing time hanging out with him.

Again, I deeply apologize that I can't go this Friday and hope that you understand.

Please give me a call if you want to re-arrange my ticket to someone else.
Your friend

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Discuss the issues associated with people aging longer and give possible measures. [2]

THE PROBLEM OF AGING POPULATION

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations.

Today, people's average life span has vastly lengthened. The main problem this causes is a burden in national finances and the most viable solution is a public awareness campaign boosting young citizens' effort to ease this financial pressure.

The principal problem associated with people living longer is that more national money is consumed to take care of aged citizens. This is to say that, with the increasing number of senior citizens, more elderly homes are needed to accommodate them sufficiently. To do this, the government has to spend a substantial amount of national revenues to build more retirement homes resulting in a huge financial problem. For example, the Korean government is facing extreme difficulty with its national budget after spending too much money on providing caring houses to old people.

To tackle this problem, the government should launch a publicity campaign in the media and in schools to raise people's awareness about this issue and encourage young generations to work harder. When the young are aware that their parents are a part of financial burden to the country, they will likely oblige to work with extra efforts to help boost the country's economy and lighten such burden. Such an awareness campaign will shed some light on this situation and allow people to be more open and honest about it. For instance, many young citizens in Germany are working more than 8 hours per day to support governmental spending on housing the elderly.

In conclusion, as people can now live longer than ever, the pressure in national money occurs when building elderly homes, however, the government's awareness campaign will be of great help to elevate this problem by motivating younger generations to work harder.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Should people live alone or share accommodation with others? [5]

NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF LIVING ALONE

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

More and more people prefer living alone rather than living with roommates or family members these days compared to the past. This essay believes this is a negative development because people will become socially isolated and they will not have anyone to rely on when they are in trouble.

Social isolation is the most common problem that people, who choose to live by themselves, have to face. This is to say that these people do not want to interact with others, instead, they prefer a quiet zone which they can spend more time with themselves. Gradually, they lose the confidence to communicate in public, thus, they will try to stay away from other people as much as possible. For example, research indicates that undergraduate students in Ho Chi Minh City, who do not live with any roommates on campus, become afraid to engage in conversations and avoid doing outdoor activities with their peers.

More importantly, living alone means that there will be no one available to help people in urgent situations. In a normal house where there are family members living together, they can assist each other if some accidents suddenly happen at any time. In contrast, those, who live in an apartment alone, cannot ask for any help at the time they need it. For instance, my friend, who lived in the college's dormitory alone, died in his room due to a heart attack at night 5 years ago as there was nobody there to get him to the hospital in time.

In conclusion, the fact that people now have a tendency to live alone is quite dangerous because they are separating themselves from their friends and families and there are emergency situations which they cannot call for assistance as soon as they need it.

Please be brutal !!! Highly appreciated your help as my test comes near.

Writing Feedback / Letter to a friend asking for help with translation of documents [3]

requesting friend to translate something

You need a translation of a document into a different language and you have a friend who speaks that language.
·Explain what the document is and why you need a translation
·Explain why this is urgent and important for you
·Ask your Friend if and when he/she will be able to help you

Dear Tom,

I hope you're doing well. I'm just writing to ask for your favour to translate some of my papers into Africaans.

As you've already known, my family and I are moving to South Africa and we've been required to submit a letter of interests before the Consulate of South Africa approve our application and send out an invitation to immigrate. However, they've informed us that the letter must be in English and Africaans to become eligible.

Also, we have to submit our letter before August 30th, so it's quite urgent at the moment. It won't be accepted after due day, and we'll have to start the immigration process that takes over 9 months all over again. You can see there it's very important to my family.

I know you're a master of this language so I'd be extremely grateful if you could give me a hand on this one. I'll be forever in debt to you and I'll be glad to help you with anything in the future. So, please help me with this translation.

Please give me a call as soon as possible.

All the best,

Truong