akbarmappiare
May 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS - TASK 1 - THE COMBINING CHART OF PERSON ARRESTED IN FIVE YEARS AND THE MOST REASON [3]
Hi Nurul.
Welcome to Essay Forum, Nurul. you trust me that this medium will help you to improve your writing ability. You only need to participate actively in this website.
I have read your writing closely and found that you made some errors in the grammatical. I would try to give you a few suggestion to boost your writing skill. First, I will give corrections like these below:
The pie chart compares the percentages of the criminaljoinedENTEREDinTO prison for five years until 1994FROM 1989 TO 1994 . In terms of the gender, and the bar chart provides ...
Over all OVERALL, it is evident from the data that male prisoner predominate over overMORE THAN the female, and also . IN ANY CASE , public drinking was considerably ...
In detail,A CLOSER LOOK AT THE CHART REVEALS THAT the total of THE men arrest was fourTHREE times higher than THE women...
ForTURNING TO both genders, more than a third ONE-THIRDS of them got in prison ...
... secondary highest reason for THE male to jailed, over than ...
BesidesON THE OTHER HAND , all the other reasons considerably ...
... the least reason, lower than 10% for bothganders.GENDERS
Note: Actually, this writing is a good job. However, you need the time and practice to improving your ability. You should read more your writing before you upload because I found some of the mis-spellings. After that, you should harness transition words appropriately. The paragraph is good on condition that the transition from one sentence to another is smooth. In addition, you have to remember that the good paragraph includes more than two sentences. I read that the first and last paragraph only have had 2 sentences.
I believe you have tremendous cahnce to elevate your score if you always practice more and more.
Enjoy your process. Happy writing. Good Luck
Hi Nurul.
Welcome to Essay Forum, Nurul. you trust me that this medium will help you to improve your writing ability. You only need to participate actively in this website.
I have read your writing closely and found that you made some errors in the grammatical. I would try to give you a few suggestion to boost your writing skill. First, I will give corrections like these below:
The pie chart compares the percentages of the criminal
... secondary highest reason for THE male to jailed, over than ...
... the least reason, lower than 10% for both
Note: Actually, this writing is a good job. However, you need the time and practice to improving your ability. You should read more your writing before you upload because I found some of the mis-spellings. After that, you should harness transition words appropriately. The paragraph is good on condition that the transition from one sentence to another is smooth. In addition, you have to remember that the good paragraph includes more than two sentences. I read that the first and last paragraph only have had 2 sentences.
I believe you have tremendous cahnce to elevate your score if you always practice more and more.
Enjoy your process. Happy writing. Good Luck