Writing Feedback / I believe that modern cuisine brings the extinction of traditional meal. [2]

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

These days, local culinary in several countries is changed by a great deal of fast food and instantly groceries product. However I personally agree, this phenomenon brings a detrimental effect on both of relatives and community.

Firstly, the excess of fast food affects the intensity of meeting with the family because this development is available to be consumed at anytime and anywhere. The consumption of this type of food would damage the relations togetherness in which people are less likely to prepare meal on the family table. Cooking at home will bring family members to gather frequently and to share the experience each other in order to reduce tension and to increase conversational. In contrast, if those do not to eat at home often, this would probably diminish the relationship between each other.

In addition, although the international food has a positive side to revenue for the country since the demand rise sharply, but it still has a correlation with the healthy issue which certainly threat to the humanity. For example, there are so many business and advertisements that offer instant food. Consequently, instant foods containing chemical substance like monosodium glutamate have huge opportunities as trigger to obtain overweight and obesity. Also, the originality of traditional food will become endangered since there is no the diversity of habitual ingredients which provide a balance diet without preservatives.

To conclude, I believe that modern cuisine brings a lot of drawback for the family bonding and healthy problem as well as for the extinction of traditional meal. I would suggest that the government should cope with this problem by regulating the tax of international restaurant to reduce the explosion of fast food.

Writing Feedback / The changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School (IELTS TASK 1) [3]

The map illustrates the transformations that have occurred in the West Park Secondary over 60-year period. The most noticeable changes were the replacement of residential and farmland area with establishment of Car park. However, the development of Car park was larger year-by-year.

To begin, there were several major alteration of the West Park between 1950 and 1980. In 1980, the housing which was opposite the main road had been replaced by car park and science block while there was farmland in the south west Park secondary which had been eliminated by sport field located beside playground.

Turning to 2010, the area of old sport field was relocated to a smaller new one, which took one in three part of playground. Nonetheless, the field of car park was threefold greater than the previous year, and main building of school remained stable over the following year.

Interestingly, although there were tremendous changes happened in the Park, the main road and the school remained unchanged.

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Writing Feedback / There are some different steps to treat the rainwater to produce the quality of water [2]

The diagram presents the process of rainwater is reused for household purposes. It is noticeable that there are some different steps to treat the rainwater to produce the quality of water in order to use it for several aims.

To begin, when rain falls, water is collected in dam, which is pumped to the water treatment plant for cleaning and filtering to supply drinking water. And then, the amount of water is distributed to the house for consumption. Next, wastewater which produced by domestic purposes is flowed into wastewater treatment plant. In this process, this is completely purified and recycled which can be utilized for re-consumption or directly thrown out to the river becoming cleaning water.

However, there is another technique to reuse the rainwater by saving them in the storage tank which the water comes from the rooftop. After the water is stored, the water can be used for watering the plant, and also for services. Following this, there is a pipe in the ground that connected to rivers, the functional of this establishment is similar with drainage, is known as stormwater treatment.

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Writing Feedback / According to the diagram, air leaks into the house through several indoor-outdoor connections [2]

The diagram reveals how air circulation in a house and how home loses heat. At the first glance, it can be seen that the heat is lost from a room than can stimulate air leaking out and leaking into the house. In any case, some heat is transmitted through the area of room.

According to the diagram, air leaks into the house from several outdoors. Windows, ventilation and doors are the main access of it. However, electric outlet is the main factors which carry out the heat. Another source is found from crawl space and outdoor faucet in the south east of first floor which only produces a small quantity of air. Next, the infiltration comes from home appliance which consists of dryer van and kitchen fan vent. It can also allow air to permeate and to supply a great deal of air into spaces room.

Furthermore, air circulation from inside can be circulated through different locations on the ceiling. The air way out to the outside through attic hatch, and also the air from kitchen fan vent is released from the recessed lights which are alongside the ceiling bottom. Plumbing stack vent is the other equipment in order to discharge the heat air to leave on house.

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Writing Feedback / The changes of Stokeford village - the transformation have occurred in the countryside in 80 years [2]

The maps reveal about the transformation have occurred in the countryside of Stokeford over an 80-year period. It is noticeable that the most significant changes were the farmland area which had been removed, while the establishment of residential was larger year-by-year.

In the north area, there were the shops beside housing area and post office in 1930, which had been replacement by the most remarkable of residential development. Next, the primary school was opposite the shops had became enlarger, which had two buildings in 2010. In addition, the farmland area to supply the livestock had been eliminated because of the increasing of infrastructure. However, bridge remained unchanged.

In 2010, in the middle of village, there was a garden in which a half of area had been taken over housing, and also larger house had been relocated on retirement home. There was a dominant alteration next to river stoke. In the south, the emergence of the tremendous and enormous housing looked at alongside behind the river.

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Writing Feedback / This essay will discuss factors why population is rising and why it affects the sociality. [2]

The continued rise of in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time.
What are the causes of this continued rise?
Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

As, it is commonly understood that the increasing of world's population is the most significant obstacle faced by humanity in these day. This essay will discuss by considering factors why population are rising, and the reason why I personally agree that the growing population will affect the sociality.

In this era, there are some factors why the population is increasing. Firstly, the number of pregnant women enlarge year-by-year due to the illegal of marriage which also influences the figure for birth in the world. For example, the research conducted by UNFPA, the population of inhabitant in Africa is hard to be calculated because the number of enormous births is not identified. In addition, there is no strong regulation for socializing the contraception equipment in order to reduce nativity. In Japan, the number of birth decreases year-by-year because the government concern about applying on regulation of using contraception in which one family only has to has 2 children.

Furthermore, the boosting of population can affect the quality of social life. It is because lots of competitors who want to observe the occupation grows annually. It causes that some inhabitants do not earn the revenue for better living. For instance, more than 87,000 unemployment people in Zimbabwe who do not obtain a job because of competitiveness. As a result, Zimbabwe is known as the poverty country. It is impressive that the explosion population leads to detrimental effect on the way of life such as poverty.

To conclude, it is evident that illegal marriage and lack of contraception usage regulation are the main factors why the population becomes bigger. However, I personally agree, this phenomenon brings a dire effect on quality of community life. I would recommend government and world organization such as United Nations to develop the way to diminish and control the rapid growth of population.

Writing Feedback / Manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods [2]

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. While others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Today, industry and supermarkets are dominant factors of contributing a large number of plastic wastes. Some people assume that both of them are responsible to diminish amount of goods packaging while other thinks that it is better for purchaser to buy goods without using a great deal of packaging. This essay will discuss both of perspectives by considering some reasons before stating my own opinion.

In this era, manufactures and supermarkets are the biggest commercial companies that donate a lot of plastic waste. This is because the plastic cannot be degraded or recycled by technology, so it will damage the environment. For example, according to United Nations, industry and manufactures in Las Vegas create a problem for environmental issue. Flooding which occurred is caused by lots of plastic waste hampering the flow of water. More than 1.000 houses and residential area has been destroyed by flood with resulting water clogged by plastic. It is impressive that, many commercial should concern to decrease of using a packaging in order to reduce the effect on environment such as flood.

Furthermore, the manufactures is not only to be responsible for packaging effects, but also buyer should concern to decline the damage of environment by reusing plastic bag. For instance, Netherland authority are already applying over regulation for bringing a paper bag before shopping, this regulation encourage inhabitant to use their bag package to wrap their material. As a result, based on Environmental organization, the amount of plastic wastes drop sharply year-by-year from 1.1 million ton to 0.35 ton per months.

On balance, manufactures have bigger contribution to produce a lot of plastic which harm for environmental such as flood, so they should be more response to cope with this problem. I personally believe that society also have responsible for this issue to deal with manufactures to tackle this issue. I would recommend that government should develop a regulation.

Writing Feedback / The world construct ever-taller building to provide accommodation and offices [2]

As populations grow and cities become more crowded, there is pressure throughout the world to construct ever-taller building to provide accommodation and offices. Many people object to such developments, citing the social as well as the physical dangers. Do you agree with objections to skyscrapers?

As it is commonly understood that the rapid growth of population and cities become more congested which is force throughout the world to build high-rise construction to supply infrastructure and office. Many inhabitants complain to such establishment. Although this will leads to dire effect on social and physical dangers, I personally believe that skyscraper will impact on increasing the economy of the country.

In these days, the development of infrastructure brings a detrimental effect on the social and physical dangers. Many labors will be involved by constructing facilities which will boost the number of sick and accident in employment. In addition, it will diminish the intense of social life also because the area of residential is replaced by apartment or skyscraper. This is barrier for socializing with neighborhood due to the fact that there is no public space or open area to make relationship and connection.

On the other hand, skyscraper will increase the stabilization of economy in order to enhance the quality of life. This is because the accommodation and infrastructure will encourage the productivity of the employment. For example, Singapore is the countries that enlarge the facility to support the activity of inhabitant there. Even though, Singapore does not have natural resources to sustain their nation, but the facility that offer to citizen build up the spirit to work efficiency. As a result, Singapore becomes well-known as developed country. It is impressive that the access of accommodation will improve the public of way of life.

To conclude, many people disagree with the establishment due to brigs demerits, particularly social and physical dangers. However, I disagree with this statement because it will amplify the stabilization of economy in order to deliver the productivity of community. I would recommend that government should develop more and more the accommodation and facility to encourage the activity of public.

Writing Feedback / Prisons are considered as the best way to decrease crime rate [2]

In many countries prisons is considered the best way to decrease crime. However, education is often argued to be more effective way. Which opinion do you most agree with?

In these days, the high cost of living influences the increasing of crime actions. In some countries, offender should be detained in prison in order to do not do some potential offense while education is believed in the effective way to reduce the crime rate. Although prison makes people becoming wary, I personally agree that education is more useful to improve the quality of life which avoids the crime action.

To begin, the best way to ease the high-crime rate is to give a punishment and sanction in imprisonment. This is effectively to give deterrent effect to criminal. For instance, the rate of crime declines significantly in New Zealand because the government applies a new regulation to replenish the detention period. As a result, many inhabitants think twice to do misdemeanor because it leads a miserable life inside the jail for the penalty of their fault.

On the other hand, life demands and poverty affect inhabitant to do a crime act. This is also influenced by lacking of education. Education is the best way to diminish the rate of crime because people can obtain the occupation in order to earn the revenue for better living. For example, Canada is recognized as the most safety country in the world. This is because most of people gain access to an appropriate education. As a result, local people there acquire well-paid job, so it decreases the number of crime rate.

To conclude, even though prison is decent way to be applied, education is essential for developing people's skill in order to decrease the number of criminal. The system education should be implemented in order to control the crime rate and give a tremendous benefit for living.

Writing Feedback / Most developed countries spend a large proportion of their health budgets [2]

Most developed countries spend a large proportion of their health budgets on expensive medical technology and procedures. This money should be spent instead on health education to keep people well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In these days, health is essential issue that should be aware. Most developed countries spend a large percentage of their health expenditure on luxury medical machinery and process while other thinks that funds should be spent instead on health education. I personally agree that it is better to develop the technology of medical and procedure in order to give life expectancy on patient and to boost the productivity of medical employment

Some people believe that money which is spent on medical procedure is better than health education. This is because the system of medical can support the process of treatment. For example, there are 35.6 percent of successful surgeries that has been recorded by New Zealand which influence the increasing of productivity of the doctor. As a result, the procedure is more beneficial rather than health education because this is only socializes and gives some explanation how to keep body more healthy.

Furthermore, advances in technology affect the life expectancy of human. This is because medical technology is easily to treat illness. For instance, developing country such as United Kingdom concerns to observe the sophisticated technology to find some medicine of HIV/Aids. As a result, the establishments of HRV medicine can assist people to long-live and to survive running their activity. It is impressive that the invention of medical technology can support people to living better.

To sum up, I strongly believe that it is better to enhance the quality of medical equipment and procedure in order to give a life expectancy of sick person and to improve the productivity of general practitioner. Government should spend a lot of budget on enlarging the quality of medical kit and improve the best system of medical

Writing Feedback / Most leaders or directors generally belong to an older age group [NEW]

Most leaders or directors generally belong to an older age group, but some people believe that young leaders are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

In these days, the style of leader is influenced by age of groups. Most people who lead company or organization have an old age while young leaders are better to direct corporation. I personally agree that older people have good leadership skills due to having a great deal of experiences and wisely to determine decision.

In this modern era, employment tends to choose a leader who has elderly age. This is because they have a lot of experience to run the organization. For example, the average of chief's age in big association such as United Nations is more than 40 years old. They are already observing how to handle the problem and how to cope with the atmosphere and characteristic of human in workplace. As a result, this becomes primary and dominant factors to make company bigger and enlarger. This is impressive that the experience makes people learn how to be a good leader in the future.

Furthermore, the elderly leader is easily to decide the pronouncement. This is because they always find the difficulties in the previous job encouraging them to be more braves to directly take a choice. For instance, the president director does not think twice to evaluate the performance of employee whether is worthy or not to the company. The director will take responsible to fire employee by considering the productivity of occupant which influence the revenue of the corporation.

To sum up, there are evident that new experience and decision-making are significant triggers to enhance a leadership skill. However, the directors who have older age of group are more suitable to give directions to company to become better rather than young leaders by considering reasons above. I would recommend that young leaders should learn more how to observe the problem and decide the decision.

Writing Feedback / Schools from different areas report that students tend to have behavioral problems [3]

In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behavior. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

As it is commonly understood that school influence the way of student's think and behavior. Schools in different part report that students tend to have behavioral problems. This essay will examine the reasons why this phenomenon is occurring and discuss some possible solutions.

There are some predominant factors why student behave inappropriately. Firstly, the way of society business today affects student's behavioral model. For example, parents tend to consider spending a great deal of time in workplace rather than home in which there is no control from parents. As a result, children tend to imitate what they see in television or internet without thinking is it good or not due to lack of parental guidance.

Furthermore, another aspect that influences student behavior is the environment at school. Adolescent prefer to absent the class to play a video games affecting the mindset of the children these days. A lot of children are behaving aggressively and offensively due to the games that they play often which shows a violence and vulgar images. Consequently, plenty young generation thinks that fighting and destructive act is a common and usual activity. Undoubtedly, video games damage the mentality of child.

Nevertheless, there are potential ways to solve these problems or at least reduce the effects. Firstly, parents and teacher should deal with controlling the children activities in which avoid them to use the technology without monitoring of parents and teacher. Secondly, parents should spend a quality time to observe the activity or to pay attention more what they do and run. In addition, teacher should cope with this problem by giving them moral and attitude lesson. This will help them how to respect each other.

To sum up, although there are some factors of detrimental student's behavior, there are some steps that parents and educators can take to diminish its effects. If both of parents and tutors are to save our children attitudes, it is essential that this is treated as priority for all concerned.

Writing Feedback / Governments make many rules to save people from harm [2]

Governments make many rules to protect people from danger, for example, by making people wear seat belts in cars or not allowing smoking in public buildings. However, many people believe that there are too many rules nowadays. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

As it is commonly understood that there are a great deal of regulation made by government such as wearing seat belts in cars and not giving a permit to smoke in public space. However, some society argues that there are too many rules today. I personally disagree with statement above because there are some reliable reasons why government regulates the rules for controlling humankind and environmental.

The dominant factor why government authorizes a lot of law is to control the crime action. This is because it will enhance the quality of citizen life. For example, New Zealand applies some regulation for monitoring the movement of activity in city. As a result, the crime rate there decreases year-by-year around 25.5%, and this country is well-known as the most safety state in the world. There is no doubt that the role of law is to improve the way of life

Furthermore, this regulation leads to a merit effect on environmental protection. This is because it will boost the spirit of people to be responsive about environmental issue. For instance, the regulation which is implemented by World Organization like United Nations affects more than 1,450 industries in Yokohama Japan constructing the wastewater treatment plant to diminish the effect on wastewater. It is impressive that the functional of regulation is not only to avoid the offensive action, but also to preserve the environment becoming better.

To sum up, it is evident that there are some factors why government makes numerous regulations in order to organize the quality of human life and environmental security. I personally agree that the functional of rules brings a lot of benefits for some aspects. I would recommend that government should apply the regulation wisely by considering the purposes.

Writing Feedback / People attend college or university for many different reasons [2]

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, and increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university?

In these days, education is essential to support better living. Some people attend college or university for many purposes. This essay will examine some reasons why society takes higher education for several aims.

Many people believe that higher education can assist community to earn revenue for better living due to gain well-paid job. This is because university provides skills for students and enhances the quality of expertise. For example, many multinational companies in Saudi Arabia hire plenty of bachelor degree for taking good position. More than 17,000 bachelor degrees are appropriate to fill vacant position in order to become professional. As a result, bachelor degrees take a big responsible and position in any company. Undoubtedly, many graduates are more considered to be accepted in corporation to raise the income to meet with basic needs rather than another.

Furthermore, the dominant factor why people involve themselves to attend the university is competitiveness. The competitiveness is influenced by the high cost of living which encourages people to get the best education to sustain the way of life. For instance, according to UNFPA data, more than 34,500 unemployment people in South Africa are affected by lacking of education in which many people are only obtaining the access of education in high school. As a result, a large number of groups tend to not to be ready to face the rivalry among them. It is impressive that, the competitiveness leads a large influence of taking-part in college in order to maintain the sustainable of quality of life.

To sum up, it is evident that well-paid occupation and competitiveness are the main factors why societies tend to attend university in order to get better living and preserve the sustainable of quality of life. Government should construct and repair the facility and system education in higher institution so that all of dwellers can access an appropriate education to support existence.

Writing Feedback / It is better for children to begin learn a foreign language at primary school than at secondary [NEW]

Some people think it is better for children to begin to learn a foreign language at primary school than at secondary school. What is your opinion? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

As it is commonly understood that foreign languages is essential for young generation to recognize diversity. Some people believe that it is better for toddlers to start to learn foreign language early when they entered elementary school than at secondary school. In my opinion, I would argue that this leads to more merits than demerits.

The first positive effect is that student is more expert to speak foreign language when they grow up. This is because they have enough time to observe and adapt with foreign language. According to United Nations data, more than 53,000 students who obtain the foreign language material in elementary school domineered and have more fluently rather than middle-level education. It is impressive that time can influence the way people learn by practicing international linguistic day-by-day.

In addition, it will stimulate the brain by practicing foreign language began with basic due to the fact that children is easily memorizing the word that they recognize early. For instance, according to research conducted by NewScientist, pupils can distinguish 150 words per day by memorizing in which the storage of brain can save some various words in early age. As a result, they have strong memory and have good-responsive to capture a variety of words. Undoubtedly, basic education in early level of school is a foundation to be easily to develop the expertise.

However, a negative side to this establishment is children have less concentration to accept the lecture. This is because they tend to spend their time to play rather that to learn. Most young generation in UK spend their leisure to play video online which affect the intensity of learning. It is different from student who learns foreign language in secondary school, and they tend to be focus on thinking critically to find another way to learn.

To sum up I believe that the advantages of learning foreign language in primary school outweigh the disadvantages. This trend should be encouraged so that country around the world can continue to run this system.

Writing Feedback / The role of women in community has altered dramatically in the last two decades. [2]

The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

As it is commonly understood that role of women in community has altered dramatically in the last two decades. These day, many difficulties has been faced by young generation, such as juvenile delinquency, occur from the fact that many married women now have a job in workplace and are not at home to care for their children. I personally agree with statement above because parental guidance is essential for children's development and financial support leads detrimental effect.

In this era, many teenagers need supervision from mother to learn the attitude and morality in order to distinguish between good and bad. Juvenile delinquency occurs because there is no controlling of parents. For instance, more than 17,000 case of violence which has been done by adolescent in Brazil, the average of younger who did the crime acts is triggered because their mother tend to spend a lot of time in work. As a result, a lot of children should be detained in the prison or rehabilitation which leaves their education. Undoubtedly, the parental guidance is important to form the sense of children's morality and attitude.

Furthermore, teenager's misbehavior is influenced because their mothers who have busy and hectic schedule in workplace tend to give a great deal of financial to support their children's activity without thinking risks. For instance, based on UNICEF, more than 4,550 reports about drugs are consumed by teenager in California. The increasing of drugs consumption is caused by financial support abused by children. It is impressive that giving lots of money to children leads a severe problem for children's improvement.

To sum up, it is evident that monitoring from parents is necessary to create the physical development and approach. So, the presence of parents and mother is needed by children. However, financial support that I mention brings a dire effect for children's personality. Parents should be give more attention for children.

Writing Feedback / The diagrams show how chocolate is produced [2]

The diagram depicts the process of making chocolate. It is noticeable that there are several stages in the process, started in growing of ripe red pods on the cacao trees until concluding in the production of chocolate produced at factory.

To begin, the raw material of cacao comes from cacao trees, which is grown in the South American, African and some territorial in Indonesia. After the pods are ripe and red, they can be harvested and the white cocoa is separated in order to be fermented. Following a day of fermentation, they are laid out on the board which spread over to get a sunny light, so it will dry because of sun. While the dried beans will be packaged by using sacks, and then it is distributed to the factory by using train or lorry.

Next, the beans are then baked at a high temperature of 350 degrees in which this process will continue to the next stages. The beans are crushed and separated from their outer shell. In final process, liquid chocolate is produced by pressing inner part.

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Writing Feedback / The diagram depicts the stages of manufacturing and process adjustment of the customer goods. [2]

The diagram depicts the stages of manufacturing and process adjustment of the customer goods. It is noticeable that the good manufacturing is complex procedure which is done in several steps and information feedback is given to earlier stages to allow for adjustment.

Firstly, raw materials and manufactured components are stored together, before through to the production planning, there are two major processes involving product research and design. After both of the stages are already done, the input is used in product planning process. Next, assembly process depends on the previous stage where it is determined how and how much quantities the stored materials will be processed to produce finished goods. Following this, the products are tested and checked to maintain quality control in which if the good are free from defects, it will directly to be packaged and dispatched. After that, products are ready to be spread over retail outlets. Sales are the end of manufacturing process, and it supports production planning to distinguish the product is it good or bad.

Feedback from testing phase is used in controlling inappropriate problems in finishing product. Then, adjustments will have to be created to the design stages. Following this, market research is used in order to observe trend in market and to examine the demand for product which is designed to be suitable for costumers. Market research, which has a functional to encourage the stabilization of product sales by planning appropriate advertising for the goods

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Writing Feedback / Creating own business can lead to bankruptcy and failure nevertheless it bring often lot of success [2]

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

As it is commonly understood, starting to create own business becomes well-known in these day. Some people believe that they tend to choose to build own company rather than working for company. I would argue with statement above that it leads more merits than demerits.

To begin, bankrupt and failure is negative side which is experienced by own company. This is because it is not easy to develop own company which are many competitors and rivalry. For example, in South Korea, online shop becomes phenomenon and popular in which many societies begin to run this business by themselves. Following a period, more than 7,000 outlets online clothing closes due to the competitiveness. However, I believe that establishing own business is not only delivering detrimental effect, but also positive one.

Having own business can save a great deal of money. This is because individuals tend to arrange the revenue and outcome for their business. For instance, according to United States data, the majority of private/own company obtains the profit of sales threefold greater that multinational company. Undoubtedly, running own business will increase the income of owner.

Furthermore, another positive side is creating own company which will decrease the number of unemployment due to the fact that company provides an access to job opportunities and gives a large scale to accept the labor even though this job needs physical exercise. For instance, in China, the number of human who does not have an occupation drops sharply year-by-year. As a result, many inhabitants acquire a better quality of life which is encouraged by independent business. It is impressive that opening a big chance for running the company will influence the people way of life.

To sum up, it is evident that although starting own business brings a dire effect on company such as bankrupt and failure, there are some benefits by creating own business which increase the revenue and enhance the quality of life due to the declining of unemployment rates. I would recommend that society should decide thy typical job by considering benefits and drawbacks.

Writing Feedback / Some people assume that it is better for young generation to take an occupation before study [3]

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university.
Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

As it is commonly understood, education is essential for children. Some people assume that it is better for young generation to take an occupation for a few years before entering higher education. I would agree that it leads more merits than demerits.

A negative side for children who are part-taking in job is that they have older age than their friend which triggered hardly to socialize in university's environment. This is because they have different perspective and point of view to decide or do something. For example, in Canada, particularly Ontario city, more than 17,000 adolescent have a range of the age between 22-24 years old while the age of group to enroll university about 18-20 aged. As a result, many students have a different way to think and it is difficult to socialize. However, I believe that this is not only delivering a detrimental effect on making relationship with colleague, but also bringing some positive side.

The positive side from having a job before studying in university is beneficial to control own self and to cope with problem easily after going to college because they has already observing how to adapt with the environment in workplace and identifying several characteristic of human. For instance, according to Harvard University, there is no case of violence and misbehavior action that student who ever taken part in job do. It is impressive that this development build characteristic of student in their college environment.

Furthermore, another positive side is young generation is easier to accept the process of learning in university. This is because they used to do under pressure deadline of assignment in workplace. United Kingdom apply new regulation for children who want to continue their study in university, they should do internship project. As a result, more than 1,300 adolescent who did the regulation tend to be dominant and superior in the class. Undoubtedly, the internship help student to accept the method and system education in university.

To sum up, it is evident that taking a job before entering the university leads more benefits than drawbacks. I would recommend that student should be encouraged to join internship before entering university

Writing Feedback / Electronic media influence quality of life - it facilitates people to communicate each other. [2]

The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As it is commonly understood, electronic media influences people way of life. The use of electronic media brings a detrimental effect on individual relationship between communities. I strongly agree with statement above by considering some reasons why this trend brings some drawbacks.

To begin, electronic media influences quality of life. This is because it facilitates human to communicate. Hand-phone, for instance, is used for building a new relationship and connecting with people around the world. However, this is beneficial for one aspects, I believe that there are some negative impact on using electronic media.

A negative side of electronic media is lacking of togetherness. This is because the usage of electronic media makes inhabitant becoming addicted and tend to ignore what is something happen in the real life because they only focus on surfing in virtual world. For example, according to UNFPA, more than 350 married partner divorce due to the fact that one couple is identified cheating on another women by using sophisticated technology such as hand-phone and social media. As a result, this case makes broken relationship among them. Undoubtedly, the advances machinery of communication is a dominant factors why this phenomenon happening.

Furthermore, another side is that it causes misunderstanding with each other because what society wants to tell by using telephone is more likely different from what people want to say in the real life. For instance, there is a case in Japan, particularly Kyoto, more than 34 case of violence and offensive action is happening there which is triggered by misdirected message. All in all, the replacement of technology devices from letter to email or texting affects inappropriate interpretation.

To sum up, it is evident that electronic media leads a great deal of dire effects on personal relationship among individuals. However, electronically communication causes some impacts, which are that lacking of mutually relationship and misunderstood with each other. It is recommended that humankind should use technology devices of communication wisely.

Writing Feedback / The outcome of survey on happiness ratings (IELTS TASK 1) [2]

The bar chart illustrates the outcome of survey on happiness ratings between married and unmarried people in the US, and the impact of children in the overall ratings of married partners. Overall, it can be seen that the highest percentage of happiness rates is married people. While, married partner who have children below 18 ages take significant rates of happiness.

The largest percentage of happiness ratings is observed by married people while unmarried saw the least. The age of group between 18 and 29 is a dominant in number of married society, which is 45% whilst the number of happiness rates of people who have not married and aged over 65 years is 34%. The smallest proportion of happiness rates for married people is in the 50-64 age of group at 40%, this number is twofold greater than unmarried people aged 50-60. Interestingly, there are two similar points in the 30-49 and 65 and over age of group, which is almost a half.

Turning to happiness rating of people who have children, marriage partner who have the age of children under 18 years old is the biggest proportion of happiness rates at 44%. Whereas, married partner who have above 18 years old saw the lowest proportion at two-fifths, which is only slight less than both of no children and the age of group below 18.

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Writing Feedback / As it is commonly understood, business is essential to support the quality of life. (IELTS TASK 2) [2]

The purpose of businesses is to make money and they should concentrate only on this.
Do you agree or disagree?

As it is commonly understood, business is essential to support the quality of life. Some people think that the aim of businesses is to earn the revenue and they should focus on only this. I strongly disagree with statement above because they should preserve the sustainable of commerce and stabilization of economy as well as become useful for community service.

To begin, the function of business is not only to obtain the income, but also to maintain the sustainability and continuity of corporation for their future. It is because they should look after networking in order to support financial credit and loan when they are bankrupt or failure. For instance, according to UNFPA data, more than 87 multinational companies in Singapore acquire profits only a quarter of total number of budget and expenditure per-year, but they tend to remain stable in this business to think forward about their prospect. Undoubtedly, to prevent the failure is necessary to build a relation that the dominant purposes of business

Furthermore, another target of business is to control the stabilization of economy because they should considerate it in order to supports the quality of the country itself. China has more than 17,000 of total company which run in some manufactures and sectors, resulting china is recognized as the strongest economy stability in the world. In addition, the other purpose is to provide the public service in order to enhance the quality of people's life. For instance, electricity companies or corporation that offers service for citizen is predominantly to sustain the way of inhabitant's life.

To sum up, it is evident that there are some reasons why the functional of business is not only to get profits, but also to increase the quality of economy and sustainable of company itself. It is recommended that the private company should build a good relationship with society by providing public service.

Writing Feedback / The outcome of surveys asking employees about their affiliation with their supervisors and co-worker [3]

The pie charts compare the outcome of surveys asking employees about their affiliation with their supervisors and co-workers between 2005 and 2009. Overall, it can be seen that the workers had great relationship with supervisor. However, the relationship among co-worker was also excellent.

The highest percentage of brilliant relationship with supervisor was 61% in 2005 while 2009 saw a very good connection at two-thirds. The intense of bond between colleague and manager decreased by 4% in the end of period, and then there are similar point in the poor quality of relationship only 2% from 2005 to 2009. The fair relationship with boss is slight decline of 2%, this number is same as workers who keep silent whereas staff who had no relationship with superior increased by a very small number (4%) in 2009.

Turning to association for partner, the quality of relations with associate was brilliant at 63% in the beginning of period, and it rose to 70% in 2009. 2005 to 2009 witnessed a rise of 3% in proportion of good link with colleague whilst both of workers who had no social interaction with other employees and fair took a minority, which was below one in ten in the rest of period. Interestingly, the number of worker who did not have any communication is same as poor quality of relationship only 1%.