Writing Feedback / The best of the best inventions for the last decade - PTE writing [2]

antibiotics, airplane, or computers? the crucial invention

You will have 20 minutes to plan, write and revise an essay about the topic below. Your response will be judge on how well you develop a position, organize your ideas, present supporting details, and control the elements of standard written English. You should write 200-300 words.

What do you think is the most important invention for the past 100 years; antibiotics, airplane, or computers? And why?

In the 21st century, a number of inventions have been released and all of them play a vital role in societies. However, the advent of computers appears to be of paramount importance as they allow mankind to stay in touch with one another and decompress through playing video games. Consequently, I am truly of opinion that computers are the most pivotal inventions for the last 100 years and therefore will be pleased to discuss reasons behind this opinion.

To begin with, computers like mobile devices provide people with an ongoing opportunity to stay in touch with their friends and relatives, resulting in them being less lonely and depressed. This is not at all surprising, considering the fact most individuals are preoccupied with their own affairs in real life which mean the only way for them to actually socialize is through their electronics. For example, a survey conducted at the University of Sydney found a positive correlation between the use of electronic devices for socializing and participants' happiness levels. As a result, computers are the most important inventions in this world.

Furthermore, these electronics allow their users to decompress through playing computer games which can be beneficial for those who would like to relax. This is quite understandable as video games have proved to be one of the most effective medicine for stress. For instance, a group of researchers conducted an experiment only to find out that playing games can lead to reduced stress levels. Hence, computers are probably the greatest invention for the last decade.

In conclusion, having discussed the significance of computers, it can be firmly concluded that they are the best instruments that world's scientists have invented so far. As a corollary, I maintain that computers are the best inventions due to their significant health benefits.

My target is 79

Writing Feedback / Space travel vs environment problems? which one is important? PTE [2]

the importance of travelling into space

The space travel is excellent these day, but there are many environmental problems in our planet we should tackle the problems but not travel space and spend a lot of money. Discuss this opinion.

In the 21st century, a group of people believes that travelling into space is a great idea; however, many environmental issues still exist in this planet and therefore need to be prioritized over space travel. This is understandable as travelling into space is relatively expensive. I totally disagree with this statement and so will be pleased discuss two reasons behind this disagreement.

To begin with, the environmental problems these days can only be mitigated, meaning they cannot be fixed completely and that damages done to the environment are irreversible. This not at all surprising, considering that humankind has been neglecting the environment for ages, so it is too late to find solutions. For example, many species are endangered and some have even gone extinct due to certain self-centered individuals.

Furthermore, the earth is approaching the sun and therefore there is no other way to avoid human extinction but to move to another similar planet. This implies that it is time for scientists to start taking these space travel activities more seriously. For instance, a group of researchers are of opinion that it is inevitable for human beings to not settle on a new planet in the future.

Having discussed the importance of travelling into space, it can be concluded that environmental problems may be marginalized. In other words, space travel should be encouraged so as to increase the possibility of the survival of humankind. Therefore, I disagree with the community stating that environment problems should be prioritized over travelling into space.

Writing Feedback / There is no place left for teachers in today's world. PTE write essay [2]

Does the advent of internet change the role of teacher? To what extent do you agree?

the importance of teachers in internet era

In the tech savvy era, some argue that the existence of technologies like Internet may have altered the role that teachers play. While Internet has definitely its place in the society, teachers should not be marginalized as they still play an important role in supporting their students mentally. Therefore, I partially agree with the statement and so will be pleased to discuss these two reasons in more details.

On the one hand, Internet has allowed individuals to study and learn at home at their convenience which means they no longer have to attend classes to acquire new knowledge. This is not at all surprising, considering that Internet has made any kind of information accessible to the vast majority of people. For example, David, one of my friends, believe it is not necessary for students to communicate face to face with their teachers to learn and understand new concepts and principles.

On the other hand, Internet can never replace teachers entirely in the sense that it cannot motivate and encourage its users to learn. Just like students, teachers are human beings and they are capable of motivating and persuading their pupils to explore and acquire new knowledge. For instance, most of my friends find it arduous to self-study online as although they have access to all the relevant and accurate materials, it is relatively tedious to study on their own; most of them would rather have their teachers explaining new ideas to them instead of looking at the monitor.

Having discussed the importance of both teachers and internet, it can be concluded that teachers still have a place in this society. In other words, the development of Internet has not impacted the role of teachers to a great extent. Consequently, I only agree with this statement to a small extent.

Writing Feedback / Facebook, Twitter etcetera. What have they done to our society as a whole? [5]

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals & Society. To what extent do you agree?

the consequences of using social networking sites

In the tech-savvy era, it is an irrefutable fact that sites like Facebook, Twitter etcetera have impacted the society and people within it in a negative way. In fact, this phenomenon takes place without the people knowing it. Therefore, I completely agree with the statement above claiming that social networking sites have had a detrimental impact on the society and its people for two reasons: a detached society and obesity.

To commence with, such sites have encouraged people to socialize much less with individuals around them compared to the past where people used to interact with one another face to face. This has resulted in the society being less close and intimate. By way of illustration, most of the individual people on the train prefer to communicate with other people through their phones rather than face to face.

Furthermore, excessive and inappropriate use of social networking sites by many people, especially schoolgoing children, promotes the development of obesity which can result in death in certain cases. This is understandable, because they are not required to go out with their friends or acquaintances to satisfy their social needs; they can always sit at home and interact with their peers online. For instance, according to the latest study at the University of Sydney, an increasing number of people develop obesity and this can be attributed to excess social networking sites usage.

Having discussed the fatal consequences of using social networking sites, it can be concluded that these sites indeed have had a devastating impact on the human beings and their society. It can result in a detached society where no one talks to one another and obesity. Consequently, I strongly agree with the statement regarding how social networking sites have given rise to negative impacts on our society and individuals.

Writing Feedback / Marriage or employment? PTE academic [3]

In many cultures, the priority is given to marriage over employment. What's your opinion on getting married without worrying about getting a job

employment before getting married?

In the competitive world, some communities believe marriage is more vital than employment whereas others have a contrary viewpoint. This is certainly a controversial topic, considering that people look at things differently. However, it is an irrefutable fact that it is an awful idea to prioritize marriage over employment for two reasons: less time to work and lower chance of being hired.

To commence with, as we all know that once you are married, you will have less time for your work and subsequently, be less dedicated to your job which proves to be horrible as that means you will receive lower wages or salaries, depending on whether you are working part time or full time. This is not at all surprising, as one will need to allocate some time to look after and upbring their children. To illustrate, a friend of mine, Jessica, decided to get married before obtaining an employment and that left her with little to no time to work as her children need to be kept occupied at all times.

Furthermore, it is known that potential employers would prefer unmarried individuals, because those people are not distracted by family issues and therefore, can fully focus on working. This is understandable and explains the reason a number of married people cannot land their first job despite having proper qualifications. For example, one my friends complained that he was rejected for the job because he is married.

Having discussed the importance of obtaining employment first before getting married, it can be concluded that it is a terrible idea to prioritize marriage over employment. This results in having less time for work and being less desirable to potential employers. Consequently, I disagree with the community stating that wedding is more important than occupation.

Writing Feedback / Over packaged products and its implications PTE [3]

packaging waste problem

Do you think consumers should avoid over packaged products or it is the responsibility of the producer to avoid extra packaging of products?" Give your views or any relevant example with your own experience.

Whether or not to shy away from over packaged products has always been a controversial topic. I personally believe that producers shall not take on the responsibility regarding over packaging and the consumers should continue buying this type of product. Therefore, I will be pleased to discuss two reasons behind this belief and then support them with my personal examples.

First of all, most of packages these days are recyclable, therefore there is no point to stop purchasing overly packaged products. This is not at all surprising, considering that an increasing number of individual people attempt to promote sustainability; consequently, most packages can be recycled anyway. For example, when I walk into my grocery stores, most of the items that I end up purchasing always has a recycling symbol on them.

Apart from products being recyclable, by over packaging a certain product, it will most likely be well protected which is what most consumers are looking for; no one wants their products to become defective due to lack of packaging. This is especially important to picky, detailed customers as most of them expect the products to be perfect and be delivered safely to their homes. For example, I always end up with defective items as the manufacturer does not package their products properly.

Having discussed the importance of over packaging products, it can be concluded that both consumers and producers should not be against overly packaged products as they are recyclable and well protected. Consequently, I disagree with the statement above.

Writing Feedback / Some believe that work experience is way more crucial than what is currently being taught at schools [2]

Work experience vs theories

In today's job market it is far more important to have practical skills than theoretical knowledge. In the future, job applicants may not need any formal qualifications.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that work experience is way more crucial than what is currently being taught at schools, universities and similar. Therefore, eventually qualifications may no longer be of use to apply for a job. I completely disagree with this statement and thus will be pleased to discuss two reasons why I believe qualifications will always remain relevant in today's world.

First of all, while some jobs do not require any qualifications, a number of other profession consider them a must, as most people will not able to carry out the task assigned to them, unless they have learned the basics of a certain profession, which could usually be found at the universities. They will provide their students with essential skills to help them successfully perform the job given to them in the most effective and efficient manner possible, resulting in their students being desirable to their potential employers; practical experience is no substitute for this type of experience. For example, in order to work as an accountant in Australia, it is of utmost importance to acquire at least a bachelor degree majoring in accounting or even CPA: without either of these qualifications, the chance of landing an accounting job these days in Australia is slim.

Apart from qualifications being simply imperative for some profession, our education system is becoming increasingly more practical, and if this trend continues to thrive, qualifications may become the only requirements needed to become employed. This is not at all surprising, considering our education system is mediocre; in fact, this system has received a plethora of criticisms regarding its theory-based nature which in turn have encouraged our educational institutions to focus more on the practical side of the major. For instance, at the University of Sydney, students who are involved in their major-related activities obtain extra credit points, allowing them to graduate from university earlier than usual.

Having discussed the importance of qualifications in today's world, it can be concluded that they are and will remain vital in the future due to the fact that some jobs will always demand them, and in the future, these qualifications will be more practical than ever before and therefore, more desirable to their potential employers. That being said, work experience is undoubtedly important. However, I refuse to believe that practical experience will ever be able to replace formal qualifications because of the aforementioned reasons.

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2: Celebrities must have wonderful lives. [3]

Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree?

To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous?

the real life of a vip

Many people these days wish to be famous, and many of them are willing to do anything to fulfill this wish. However, most of them are not aware of the fact that popularity comes at a price: although famous people may make a fortune, they pay a high price for being popular. Therefore, I agree with the statement regarding famous people being unsatisfied with their lives for two reasons: loneliness and privacy.

First of all, it is extremely difficult for celebrities to befriend somebody, resulting in them being alone. This is not at all surprising, considering that most people who want to be their friends are most likely those that want to take advantage of them to become well-known themselves. The majority of celebrities know this and thus, they usually avoid making friends, which is depressing. A plethora of Korea K-pop stars, for example, have admitted suffering from depression several times on TV, but most of them try to hide it from their fans; otherwise, their fans may become too worried about their idols' lives.

Apart from being lonely, their privacy is non-existent; no matter where they go, paparazzi will always stalk and harass them verbally. This is not a type of life in which anyone would want to live, including celebrities - a life without privacy. To illustrate, John, one of my friends who is known for his songs, constantly complains about his fans and paparazzi taking photos of him and his girlfriend indulging their meals together. Consequently, living as a famous person has its own drawbacks as well.

It can be seen that living as a well-known person is certainly an arduous journey. These people pay a high price for being popular. These problems will haunt them for the rest of their lives. Hence, most celebrities definitely do not have a type of life that most individuals picture them to.

In conclusion, despite the fact that they are earning a huge amount of money, their lives are not as perfect as most people think they are. Not only are their lives friendless, but they are also non-private, causing their lives to be undesirable to the vast majority of people. I therefore, agree that a number of celebrities is living a miserable life.

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2: Should women join the army? Just like men do. [3]

women in the military?

Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a group of individuals believes it is necessary to make it possible for women to serve in the military, treating both genders equally. I strongly agree with this statement and will discuss several reasons behind this support.

First of all, while a small minority of men may feel indifferent whether or not women have to serve in the military, most men would feel being unfairly treated. This is not at all surprising as men will have to make sacrifices after agreeing to serve in the military: labor force experience, a romantic partner, and time. To illustrate, John, one of my friends, had to serve in the army for five years; accordingly, he lost work experience and his future wife - Mary. Mary could not postpone her marriage any longer as her parents forced her to do so. Therefore, most men would prefer pursuing their dreams during those years instead of working in the army.

From a female perspective, although most of them may feel reluctant to join the army, provided that they are rational, a few of them may take it as an insult. This type of women, in particular, believes that by not letting women serve in the military, society will continue to discriminate people based on their gender, most women will never be promoted to a higher position, and they will never be able to live a happy life. For instance, two of my female friends have always been experiencing discrimination at work, and they believe that one of the major factors that has contributed to sex-based discrimination is the fact that women are not permitted to serve in the military. Therefore, it would be a win-win situation if women are allowed to serve in the army.

Finally, it is also vital to have the same number of men and women in the army - a 50-50 split - as both sexes need to learn more about one another; otherwise, they will not be able to communicate with each other effectively once they finish their military duties. It is extremely likely to end up working with the opposite sex at work; in fact, in most organizations, women make up about half of the workforce. Peter - he finished his military duty last year - finds it arduous to work and get on with women in the workplace due to a lack of experience. This has resulted in him being fired without notice.

In conclusion, most men and some women are of the opinion that women should have an opportunity to serve in the army; otherwise, they will feel being mistreated. And given the importance of being able to communicate successfully with women for men, women should be given a chance to enter the military. I therefore, firmly believe not only men but also women have to serve in the army.

It would be great if someone could give me an approximate score for this essay.
Thanks for your time!

Writing Feedback / A letter from a friend IELTS writing task 1 General - where to go for holidays? [3]

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
A friend of yours is going on holiday soon and has asked you to recommend a destination.
Write a letter to your friend and recommend a good place for a holiday that you have visited before. Say where you went, where you stayed, what you can do there and what the food was like.

You should write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write your own address. Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sarah

,

Dear Sarah,
I just received your letter regarding your plan for your next holiday. While I am not an expert in recommending a good place to go to, I have visited multiple places throughout my life, where I believe you should visit, but if I had to choose one of them, that would be Ha Long - a place in Vietnam.

Ha long was the place that I travelled to several months ago, and I still remember how it looks like and how the food tastes. When I first arrived, I took a taxi and asked him to bring me to the nearest hotel, which turned out to be the hotel that I stayed throughout my stay in Ha Long. Since Ha Long is close to the sea, there are different kinds of water activities that you can do such as diving, surfing, or swimming. As for the food, as you may guess, comes mostly from the sea, and their seafood tends to be overly spicy, which I believe is your style.

All in all, it is definitely a worthwhile place to visit, considering that you love the sea and the delicacies that it offers.

Regards,

Peter

Writing Feedback / Talented people are better off working overseas IELTS writing task 2 [4]

More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine.
Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of the natural movement of workers around the world.

Do you agree or disagree?

skilled workers going abroad

Nowadays, competent individuals from the developing world prefer to work overseas due to the fact that it is simpler and more lucrative to work in the developed world. One community thinks that the developing world is losing capable individuals because of the developed world; Another community asserts that this is life, and it is just how the world works. I strongly support the latter community and will discuss the reasons behind this support.

First of all, while it is true that the developing countries are losing useful individuals to the developed countries, it is also true that these talented individuals will no longer be taken for granted, which is crucial to the world as a whole. If these people contribute to the society, they will be rewarded accordingly. This is, however, most likely not the case if they worked in growing countries. For example, Mary - one of my colleagues - went through many ups and downs throughout her career in her country, but at the end she received the same rewards as those put less efforts into their works, which was extremely demotivating as she felt being treated unfairly.

Apart from the poor treatment of capable identities, these countries tend to value intelligent individuals less than their counterparts, motivating their competent employees to move overseas. Eventually, the poorer countries will learn to appreciate and retain their citizens; however, this will not happen any time soon because of corruption. To illustrate, although a long time ago in my home country, many bright people were forced to leave the country due to inequity and corruption, now they are encouraged to return to my country by offering monetary incentives.

In conclusion, people who come from developing countries usually experience inequity in the workplace, and they also are not so precious to these countries. This explains why they abandon their own country for richer ones. To reiterate, I completely agree with the second community believing that it is normal for employees to work elsewhere.

Writing Feedback / Men or women for higher-level positions? IELTS writing task 2 [2]

Write about the following topic:

Many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Women's demands regarding jobs

Nowadays, it has been known that a number of companies tend to prefer men to take over top positions rather than women even when more than half of the workforce is female. There are many reasons behind this. I completely agree with the above statement and will discuss the causes of this situation in this essay.

First of all, there is a widespread perception that women are not as productive as men, considering that at some point in time, they will have look after their offspring and families in lieu of their companies. Companies will, therefore, not promote women to higher-level positions such as management. For example, Tracey, one of my friend, wanted to become a CEO of a certain company and therefore worked painstakingly throughout her career. She was later rejected by the shareholders as she was a woman. Although they did not directly tell her that she was not chosen because of her gender, they did imply the fact that men would be preferred over women when it comes to choosing people for higher-level position.

Apart from this misconception about women, many women also demand to be paid as much as men when they do not contribute to their businesses as much as men do which aggravate this circumstance further. The perception of most companies about women has, therefore, worsened, rendering them to believe even more that men should take over those prestigious positions. For instance, multiple stories are published every day on magazines and newspapers, talking about how women feel disadvantaged without even knowing that the primary reason as to why they do not receive the same salary was due to their lack of contributions to their companies in comparison to men.

In conclusion, today many women are labelled as unproductive and work-shy which explains the reason why they are not chosen for superior positions. Some of them are not even aware how much expertise and skills they bring to the table. To reiterate, I firmly believe that women be given more opportunities to shine in the world.

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 1: People who lived in Charlestown [3]

Charlestown population 1955/2015

The bar charts represent the weight measurements of individuals who lived in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. The results were measured in percentage. It appears that an increasing number of people living in Charlestown suffers from obesity as time goes by, from 1955 to 2015 and this applies to people from all age categories.

Based on the 1955 bar chart, most of people from all age categories are healthy as it indicates that, for example, over 60% of people from the age of 20 to 29 were able to maintain healthy weight. It was also noticeable that people who were between 30 and 49 years old were more likely to suffer from obesity. From the age of 50 to 69, the percentage of obese people decreased by half, from about 10 % to roughly 5%.

As for the 2015 bar chart, it is obvious that the older one becomes, the more likely he will become obese. Only 1% of people aged 20 to 29 experienced this while approximately 60% of people from the oldest group were obese. The rate of obesity appears to increase progressively, from the age of 20 to 69. The youngest group was the most successful in keeping ideal weight as almost 70% of them were able to do so which was totally opposite to the oldest group. Nonetheless, the oldest group in both 1955 and 2015 had pretty high percentage of underweight people compared to other groups, around 40% and 10% respectively.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2: TV or newspaper? neither? Internet [2]

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this?
What solutions can you suggest?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

Internet impact on traditional media

It appears that young people nowadays are not so interested in reading newspapers or following the news on television due to many reasons. The introduction of Internet is one of the major contributor to this phenomena and our education system is the second one. I believe that by limiting the use of Internet and by reducing the amount of readings required by our education system, more and more young people will start reading newspapers and watch news on TV.

The advent of Internet has allowed many individuals to access any materials that one can think of for free, including those on newspapers, making people feel that there are no proper reasons to buy and read newspapers. Not to mention that one can always read any information online at any time, at any place while if one wants to read newspapers, one will have to buy it and carry it with him which can be quite inconvenient compared to simply using the Internet to read news. For example, if a certain person is in a hurry to go to work and he wants to read some news on the newspapers or watch them on TV on the way to work, he can always use laptop or any other electronic devices to satisfy those needs online.

As for our education system, it has become much more challenging than ever before. Some students find it necessary to even go to cram schools and sleep less than 6 hours per day to pass their tests. Most of the time, this is due to the fact that young people are required to read a plethora amount of materials. To aggravate this, books are written sometimes in a lengthy way even when it can be much more concise. All these factors, really demotivate young people to read newspapers or watch news on TV as they are exhausted already from studying. For instance, in Korea, some students even attempted to commit suicide because of the upcoming exams.

Based on the above analysis which indicates the increasing use of Internet and reading materials, young people should be stopped from utilizing the Internet and from studying excessively to encourage them to read newspapers and follow the news on TV.

Getting an 8 is my goal.

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 1: reasons for either driving or cycling to work [3]

ielts-exam.net/academic_writing_samples_task_1/1002/

The charts below show the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Commuting to work

The first pie chart shows the reasons why people cycle to work while the second pie chart represents the reasons why people drive to work. In general, the main reasons for driving to work are comfort and distance to work and the primary reasons for cycling to work are health fitness and less pollution.

Based on the first pie chart, health and fitness and less pollution account for 60% of total whereas reasons such as no parking problems, no costs and faster than driving represent only small proportion of total. Namely, faster driving and no costs make up exactly 25% of total and the rest belongs to no parking problems.

As for the reasons for driving to work, comfort and distance to work are the key ones. Reasons such as safer than cycling, need to carry things to work and faster than cycling are minor. Precisely, the reason called "safer than cycling" only accounts for 11% of total and reasons called" need to carry things to work" and "faster than cycling" represent 28% of total.

I am aiming for an 8 in IELTS writing.