Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Faridadwi18
Name: Farida Dwi Rokhmah
Joined: Aug 10, 2016
Last Post: Oct 27, 2016
Threads: 67
Posts: 104  
Likes: 13
From: Indonesia
School: Brawijaya University

Displayed posts: 171 / page 1 of 5
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
Faridadwi18   
Aug 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / New Invention Which Gives Hope to Pancreatic Cancer Patient [2]

In the last 40 years there are many researches to help cancer patient especially pancreas to help them survive but the percentage still same, only 3 % of the survivor. The treatment which doctors can help are understand the limitation of their patient and try to find a new solution. Pancreas is located in the middle of our belly and surrounded by many vital organ and the main function is to produce insulin.

The only treatment to extent their live is by doing chaemotherapy. Unfortunately pancreas has very few blood vessel. Because the small number of blood vessel,other organs are toxicated and the drugs can not reach to the organ maximally so only few of them may reach to tumor. New invention comes from a team in MIT(Massachusetts Institute of Technology), they make a small tool wish has circle shape with transparant colour that doctor can implan from the rectum to deliver the drugs to tumor and also controlling metastases. The tool has 12 times more powerful effect to reduce the toxic effect.

To conclude, despite the fact that pancreatic cancer is one of the most deadliest cancer in the world, researchers still could do other researches which may help them in the future to cure the disease or extent the life of the patient.

Links: ted.com/talks/laura_indolfi_good_news_in_the_fight_against_pancreatic_cancer?language=en#t-205749
Faridadwi18   
Aug 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Why photo should be more beautiful? [2]

Your essay is good, but i have some suggestion which you can use :

- In the first time --> At the first time
- she had created --> she created
- that make it yours --> to make it yours
- what you believe people are going to like = it has 2 verb with only 1 subject --> what you believe or what people like

Hope you also give feedback to my essay, thanks.
Faridadwi18   
Aug 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Do you ever heard about Superfood? [5]

Have a health body is not an easy thing. There are many products which promise to get healthy body without do exercise or consume healthy food namely "superfood". Many people believe with consume superfood can make their body healthier and they think that although they have poor diet and low activities they still get healthy body.

In the Oxford Dictionary superfood means that "a nutrient-rich food considered to be especially beneficial for health and well-being". In the contrary, according to the expert from Canberra University Duane Mellor said that "superfood are marketing gimmicks". Marketing has a big influence to ensure the customer to use their products.They use famous celebrities which already has a slim and healthy body as their brand ambassador. But actually it is not enough to only consume superfood to meet our needs without enough intake from other foods. There are many foods which contains of complex nutrition and we can not change them with a tablet or a capsule which only made from the extract of the food. Superfood can not make people to get healthier body, so it is better to stop consume it.

Here is the links of the article newscientist.com/article/mg23130851-800-superfood-doesnt-mean-anything-so-lets-stop-using-it/
Faridadwi18   
Aug 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Summary, the skill of self confidence from Dr. Ivan Joseph [3]

Hi Ramzi,

What is the important importance of confidence ?
... of confidence on each person, they are not going to will not get anything or we can ...
... Self confidence is theat the first time you use an article, you should use a/an then in the next sentence you can usethe ability to believe in yourself in ...

Other way ways that is suggested by the speaker ...
Faridadwi18   
Aug 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Between Apathy and Risk About Zika in Florida [2]

Many people in Florida are infected by Zika virus and 22 people get it from local bites. Actually, people should feel worry about the risk but most of them feel no need to be worried about it. Only 43 per cent of people feel afraid about the situation also afraid if it infect them. Person who feels worries is the Governor of florida Rick Scott. He thinks that this is a serious problem which they can not solve by themselves so they asking for help to CDC(Centers of Disease Control and Prevention) and FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency).

There are 380 cases in Florida and 60 people are pregnant women. For the normal people Zika will not give severe effect, only mild risk like have a flu and get a rash symptoms. But for pregnant women it can cause severe birth defect microcephaly ( a condition where the baby has smaller size of the head ) which also impact society. Government and CDC hope that people can battle together with them to solve this problem. People need to be aware of a topic which not only applies to them directly but also problem which relates to others.

Link : time/4447110/zika-virus-florida-rick-scott/?xid=homepage
Faridadwi18   
Aug 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Orangutan learns to mimic human conversation for the first time [5]

Hello Eka,

Adriano Lameria, from the University of Durham, UK and his team found that ..... Adriano Lameria and his team from University of Durham, United Kingdom, found that .....

The procedure of that experiment are by conducted a game is by conducting game .... After by you have to use V ing
Spelling problems :
pupulationspopulations
reaserchers researchers

Hope it will help you.
Faridadwi18   
Aug 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / A smarter, more precise way to think about public health [4]

Hi Iforsa,
You make a good essay,

Sue had painful experience which lead her carrier career to contrive precision public health
Another studied study study here as a noun so you do not need to change it to studied that he did over the last 5 years ...

Hope it will help you. Thanks
Faridadwi18   
Aug 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Jobs Which Machine Can Do And The One That Can Not In The Future [2]

From a research at Oxford University studied on future work in 2013, the result was one in every two jobs had a high risk made order by a machine. Machine is an artificial tools which was invented by human. In 1990, machine only could do a simple task such as assessed data or shorted mail based on hand writing and character from the zip code then in 2012 computer could do a far more complex data and built algorithm. In 2015, machine could take an image of eyes then gave diagnose to predict the disease like diabetic retinopathy and they could diagnose it with only few minutes.

Machine can handle thing that they did many times before. Human can solve sudden situation. People can handle a situation that they never face before and machine can not compete with human in this matter. In the future machine will be growing smarter and smarter, they may also diagnose many diseases but they will not make a progress to tackle the new situation. Human will create marketing campaign which can make them get many appreciation from others also they will develop business strategy which nobody else do. To achieve that, people need to dare the challenge everyday and there is no giving in. If people do not face it, they will stuck in one place and did not evolve like machine.

Link ted.com/talks/anthony_goldbloom_the_jobs_we_ll_lose_to_machines_and_the_ones_we_won_t#t-247824
Faridadwi18   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / Pandas Get to Know Their Wild Side [8]

Hi riandi,

The government says that there are several species ...
in 2003, government said that the number of species of Panda in China is 1864.
The workings of this way is to move the giant panda from the zoo ...

Hope it will help. thank you
Faridadwi18   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Talks: 10 ways to have a better conversation [4]

Hi Kobayakawa,
In this world, every conversation has potential to be developed into an argument --> do not forget to put an article

showed that we are not listening to each other.

Most teenagers seldom to talk face to face todayToday, most of the teenagers rarely talk face to face.
Your acquaintance's experience is totally different with yours I don't get what do you want to explain in this sentence.

Hope it will help you. thank you.
Faridadwi18   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / Always telling the truth is the most consideration in any relationship between people? [4]

Hi cindy,

we can't find second another person who has totally the same behavior and personality's.
Somethings Sometimes you think somethingit is right, but others don't.
Then people will comescome close to you.

After taking a bite, it is not as tasty as it look like. Actually, I think it is disgusting actually, but to I concern with of my friend's feeling.

Hope it will help. Thank you.
Faridadwi18   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary: Plant Life in the Taklimakan Desert [4]

Hi Ibal,

Suddenly sandstorms that which most be an extremely condition. Some parts of Taklimakan Desert is are a sand dunes.
But in another areas area where the plants grow well it is in between the open desert and oases there are plants grow well.
preventing the erosion and conserve conserving biodiversity.

You made a good essay but may be you should pay more attention in plural and singular. Hope it will help you. thank you
Faridadwi18   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED talks: Clues to prehistoric times, found in blind cavefish [3]

Hi Mahdi,

Recent years, scientists explorea cave to find new species, particularly cave fish--> don't forget to put an article.
... is in danger situation since their habitats, the caves, are destroyed. since their habitats in the ...

I think you made a good essay. Hope it will help you. Thank you.
Faridadwi18   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / Students to attend schools to learn or not? [5]

Hi adip,

- Some people make an assumption that teaching children at home
- whereas the other peoples
- as in there they will be able to upgrade confident. their confidence.
- that they the daily life of children should ...
- Malaysian's child which who study at home is being smart and discipline
- most of the day and more private,.and Therefore this results ...
This, On the other hand, this is a negative effect for them ...

You need to make a shorter sentence. if you make too long sentence, the reader will confuse the meaning of the sentence itself.

I hope it will help you. Thank you
Faridadwi18   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / Task 1 IELTS : International Visitors to New Zealand :Transport Used During visit [3]

The bar chart gives information about the common transport which visitors use when they visit New Zealand. Overall, most of visitors are use public transport to go around when they visit New Zealand.

Looking at the details, car becomes the most familiar transport with more than 60 per cent of people use it. There are two vehicles which has almost the same number to be operated by holiday makers, plane and coach. The third most popular transport is train, at 20 per cent. And the boat becomes the least transport which visitor makers bring to bear, less than 10 per cent.

The highest percentage to be operated during visit is car. As a transportation which visitors use plane outnumbering coach by one per cent but both of the vehicles has percentage more tha 30 per cent. Train has a lower percentage than coach. It makes boat becomes the least percentage of all vehicles.
Faridadwi18   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / When people live in a small area, they know each other well. Threre's no chance for that in big city [2]

Task 2 IELTS : The Advantages And Disadvantages of Living in a Small Community

A few years ago, many people like to live in a small village than in a town because it is more peaceful and more comfort. The changes of economy make many of them move in order to many ingredients have increasing price also job vacancies are wider in a urban area than in a suburban so many people decided to move to a big city to get a better life. Unfortunately, people who live in a big city do not know their neighborhood as well as in the village. This essay aim to explain the advantage and disadvantage for people to live in a small community.

When people live in a small area, they will know each other well. Eventhough, they do not have close relationship, they will give their hand to help someone who need them. For example, when someone held an event in their house, their neighbor will help without asking for a feedback. Another advantage is people regard others like their own family.

On the other hand, there is a drawback to live in a small area like blabbing behind your back. It makes us feel uncomfortable with them when we know about it. Sometime the information that spread are not true at all. People will accuse us as a bad person although we do not do anything wrong.

In conclusion, the benefits to live in a tiny neighborhood are people will know each other well and take care of other people like they are one blood but they like to blab and exaggerate the story.
Faridadwi18   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary from an article in new scientist : How to Watch the Great Perseid Meteor [2]

Do you know about Perseid Meteor? Perseid meteor is a meteor which come from the direction of constellation Perseus. This phenomenon happens every year in between 17 July and 24 August but only a few days. Perseid meteor shower is a result of earth crossing through debris from the tail of comet Swift-Turtle. The friction of dust and rock with the atmosphere make an appearance as bright lights in the night's sky. Perseid meteor shower mostly can be seen in the northern hemisphere between midnight and dawn on Friday morning of 12 august. "People can see more than 200 meteors per hour and this number actually is double as usual rate" said Bill Coke from NASA Meteoroid Environment Office Huntsville, Alabama. People need to keep their phone in their pocket because the light from the phone will ruin night vision and makes them harder to see the streaks. People do not need to use their telescope or binoculars to see the meteors because they can see it with naked eyes.

Link : newscientist/article/2100849-heres-how-to-watch-the-great-perseid-meteor-shower-tonight/
Faridadwi18   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / The things that has affected me the most were how my mom helped me overcome difficulties. [4]

Hi Chenqui,

- My mom is the most influential people person in my life.
... how my mom helped me to overcome difficulties and how she supported my career in my life.
- I thought it would be an easy job for me.
- Working in a place with full ofa challenge place will be a great help ...
- ... always shows supportive of any every decisionsthat I made.
- I know she could treat her herself better with buying nicer dresses ...

I think you made a good essay, only some mistakes that you make. Hope it will help you. Thank you.
Faridadwi18   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary TED talks : The Reporting System That Sexual Assault Survivors Want [2]

Many cases of sexual assault are not reported. One in 5 women and one in 13 men are sexually assault but only less than 10 per cent report it to school or police. The process to make a report started with giving report until it reported need 11 month. The process takes a long times and most of the perpetrators only spend a day in a prison.

Jessica Ladd is an epidemiologist who interested in infectious disease. She talked to college survivors about what they wish. Most of the students said that they wish there is a website which provide about reporting sexual assault in a save way. They also prefer to make an electronic report than talk to someone who may believe or not believe with their stories. Secure documents and preserve evidence are the most important thing in the website.

Jessica Ladd and her team already made a website which launch in August at 2 college campuses. There is unique matching system in the website, if one person report a name than another person report the same name, it will automatically sent the data for investigation then follow up. This system can prevent 59 per cent of the incidence because the repeat perpetrators will get a lesson and get what they deserve so they will not do the same mistakes. The name of the system is information escrow and the system can be installed not only in the campus but also in the workplace or military.

TED Link : ted.com/talks/jessica_ladd_the_reporting_system_that_sexual_assault_survivors_want
Faridadwi18   
Aug 14, 2016
Writing Feedback / Analisys of the chart - transport used by visitors during travel in New Zealand [3]

Hi Ella,
The percentage of holidaymakers using train is 20 ...
Train has lower percentage than coach but higher than boat, at 20 per cent while boat is the least with less than 10 per cent of visitors.

I think you should compare the bar graph not only explain the percentage but also explain the order, which one the highest or the least and which one lower or higher.

Thank you. Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Aug 14, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: Practice test - purpose and destination of visit abroad by UK residents [2]

Hi Eka,

I think you should do grouping more and use comparative sentence so people who read your essay can understand well, for example :
Visiting friends and relatives had lower number of people than business but had higher number than uncertain purpose in each year.

You already give the overview in the first paragraph so i think you don't need to make a conclusion and your overview and conclusion have the same meaning.

Thank you. Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Aug 14, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 Cambridge 8 : The Benefits And Drawbacks of Youth People Who Postpone Their Education [2]

Topic : In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel f or a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.


After graduated from Senior High School, many youngsters decide to postpone their education for a year to find a job or travel before they continue their study in a university. In several countries, the government support them to do this. The benefits and drawbacks of youth who delay their study before enter university will be analyze in the paragraph below.

Knowledge not only can be found in the university but also in other places. By working and traveling people will learn many things and get new experience. Sometimes, the information which they are found in the workplace or on the way they visit a place can not they get if only by studying in the school. By working people learn how to be a discipline and responsible and by traveling people can improve their social skill. Experience also make people become wiser, more patient and more respectful to others.

On the other hand, when youth decide to defer their education,there are some disadvantages too. The will be left by their friends. While their friends already in the third semester they just enter the university. In some cases, there are many youngsters who feels that they already get enough income prefer to not continue their study to higher level. If many young people think the same way so it will effects the future of the country.

In conclusion, some positive things to youth who choose to be an employee or traveler are getting different knowledge and skill. However, the youngsters still need to continue their study although they get much salary from work.
Faridadwi18   
Aug 14, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 Cambridge 8 The Reasons and Destinations of Visit Abroad [3]

The tables give information about a cross-section survey with 100,000 respondents were being asked about the reason why they traveled abroad and the destination which they visited by main region in 1994 to 1998. Overall, the highest number of the visitors was in 1998 and most of them went to Western Europe for holiday.

Looking at the details, in 1998 the number of the people who traveled was the highest, at 28,828 while in 1995 had the least number of visitors, at 21610. The biggest reason was for holiday in each year while other reasons had the smallest number every year. The second biggest reason was for business. Visiting friends and relatives had lower number of people than business but had higher number than other reasons in each year.

The most popular destination was in Western Europe while in North America was the least famous destination for every year. Other areas had lower number of visitors than in Western Europe but it had higher number of visitors than in North America.




Faridadwi18   
Aug 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / My opinion about TEDTalks: Gary Haugen "The hidden reason for poverty the world need to address now" [5]

Hi tata,

- I believe that they did that because they won't will not (do not cut it when you do writing) their next generation feel the same violence.

- A few monthS ago, I were ill and taketook a treatment onin hospital about 5 days.
- ThereIn the hospital, I could feel how the doctors and the nurses servedlook afterthetheir patients.

Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Aug 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1: Explaining two tables about the reasons to travel abroad and the destinations [4]

Hi Hirani,

- There are two tables that show some information [...]
Here is the alternative: The first table shows the reason why people going abroad and the second table explain about which country people visited in 1994 to 1998.

I think you need more practices how to do grouping also enrich the vocabularies.Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Aug 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / [Task 2] What makes a good teacher? Training or personal qualities? [4]

Hi yon,

- A health educationeducational system is a fundamental ...
- The discussion on what makeshow to be a good teacher has ...
- In my perspective, teaching is not only a knowledge transfer process but also a cruicialcrucial (spelling) personality polishing step.
- ... but also guides me to differentiate between right and wrong.

Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Aug 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / Travelling to Work in Houston and the most popular choice of transportation - IELTS Task 1 [2]

The table explains about the kind of transport which people use to go to work and and the bar charts shows how much CO2 emission from each form of transport. Overall, the most common vehicle is cars with only one person and it causes more pollution than combination of other vehicles.

Looking at the details, the most popular means of transport is car at 48 per cent while cycle or walk is the least common transport at 4 per cent. Car with one person outnumbering train/bus by 5 per cent. Car with more than one person has a lower percentage than train/bus but higher than cycle/walk. Train or bus has the highest average age while cycle/walk has the lowest average age.

The vehicle which cause the most pollution is car with driver only at 0.32 kg/person/km while cycle/walk do not cause pollution at all. Car with 3 pasangers has lower CO2 emission than a car with driver only but it has higher number than bus/train.




Faridadwi18   
Aug 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 :Time and Costs to Go Around The City [3]

The table gives information about how long it took to travel around a city before and after the transport network was improved in four different form of transport. The bar graph shows how much it costs to use different kind of transport in town. The most significant facts to immerge from the table and the graph are that the fastest way to go around the city before and after improvements is taxi but it has the highest costs of all kind of vehicles.

Looking at the details in the table, the fastest conveyance to use is taxi for about 10 minutes while the least time is by using bus. After the improvements tram and bus become faster than before but taxi and car become slower.

The most expensive vehicles to look around the town is taxi for about 1.80 euro while bus is the cheapest for about 0.35 euro. Tram is more expensive than bus but cheaper than car.




Faridadwi18   
Aug 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / Discuss the possible advantages and disanvantages of making unemployed people take any job. [3]

Hi grint,

- Unemployment was one of the problemS for many people in a big city.
... they should take some jobS for their benefit payments
... people are better to take some workS in order to (...) life in many maysways , besides to get a job ...
- ... income that will make their life more better and easier.
- As seen in a developed countiescountries (spelling)

You need to pay more attention in singular and plural also spelling.
Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Aug 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / Essay written on the flaws in the foster care system and solutions to fix them [3]

Hi Kar,

- We'llWe will Call Him Richard
- didn't did not
Try not abridge when you write. it is better if you write all the words.
- To start the state and ourthe country as a whole,
- It is important to keep that in mind and try to understand where they are comingcome from in situations.

I think you need to summarize your paragraph and makes it shorter.
Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Aug 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary TED Talks : 5 ways to be a good listener [2]

Listening is making meaning from sound. The ability of human listening is about 60 per cent but people only use it about 25 percent. It is danger that people now losing their listening skills. It makes world become a danger world. There will be many wars and contradiction in all the places just because people did not listen to each other. The effect of this condition is people become unconscious listening.

How to improve people listening? There are 5 ways to improve it. First way with silence, people need to silence for 3 minutes a day to reset and re-calibrate their ability to listen. Second with mixer, the aim is to improve the quality of listening by hearing things at the same time in a place then count it (how many thing you can hear in a place). Third by paying attention to one sound. If we pay attention to something, we will interested in that thing. The fourth is listening position, people need to make a decision in what position they are right now. The last way is RASA (Receive, Appreciate, Summarize, Ask). By a good listening skill people can connect to each other and the world become a world of understanding and peace.

Link : ted.com/talks/julian_treasure_5_ways_to_listen_better
Faridadwi18   
Aug 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary Article : Selfish Dogs Would Rather play with a Toy than help a Human [2]

Many people says that dogs are the best friend for human. In the reality, many dogs are more selfish. Dogs prefer to play with their toys than to help human or they do not understand the request from human. To find out about this thing, Piotti and Juliane Kaminski doing a research with 24 samples in the lab. Researchers test the dog one by one by putting a toy in one corner of the room and hiding a notebook which dog also see of another person using it also they put staplers. As the result, dog play often with their toy than the notebook then staplers. According to Clive Wynne selfish behaviour of dogs is not surprising actually. They are interested in an object that they like. Different opinion from Krista Macpherson, she said "Does the dog take an interest in an object that a human is interested in, or only in objects that dogs are interested in?The question is, how much understanding do the dogs have of these helpful behaviours?". Dogs are brilliant animals which can read human clues but without direction it will be difficult thing to do.

Link : newscientist.com/article/2100755-selfish-dogs-would-rather-play-with-a-toy-than-help-a-human/
Faridadwi18   
Aug 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary Article : Gay-rights Activists Are Under Pressured by Religious Conservatives [3]

In recent years, many gay activist are more vocal to pursue equal rights in Indonesia but religious conservatives against it and start to push-back. A pressure group which based in New York is called by Human Rights Watch (HRW) report that LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual,Transgender) have come under pressure which they never experience before. The religious conservative are making petition to court to make gay people become crime punishable with punishment 5 years in prison. The unusual thing happen this year in February, Defence Minister claimed that LGBT were high risk to national security and more danger than nuclear attack. Politicians also do the same thing, they prefer to support majorities voice than minorities because they need more votes in the next election. The most extravagant case is in Aceh province where LGBT will be punished 100 lashes. Actually, LGBT groups do not look for special treatment. They just want to have the same right with others.

Link : economist.com/news/asia/21704855-religious-conservatives-push-back-against-gay-rights-activists-under-pressure
Faridadwi18   
Aug 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / Modern form of communication could be negative for us ?? [4]

Hi Alfad,
here some corrections for you,

- Some people may think because of the social media ...
- In My opinion, social media could be ...
- ... facebook, intagram and email isare to enable people ...
-but wethey want to do it together with ...
- hopefu lly
- frie nds
- sepa rate

My suggestion, you need to rewrite the question so that people can give you another idea and you can develop the ideas. be careful of miss spelling. hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Aug 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / Sophisticated Technology Influence People - reduces empathy to others, makes distant connection easy [3]

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In this modern era, many sophisticated technologies are invented such as computer, mobile phone, television and many others. Many people communicate each other by using cell phone by messaging or sending email. This condition have made people rarely meet their relatives and if it is continue to happen it will influence their social live. I personally agree that modern communication has had negative effect on human social lives.

Before mobile phone exist, inhabitant contact with others by talking directly so that they had good interaction. By talking to each other, they learned how to be a good speaker and a good listener so it improved their social skills. It is important to develop social skills because people live in a society while they can not live alone without help from others.

Right now, many people use cell phone to call or to send message to their friends without need to meet them and it is enough just by calling. Sometimes, they gather in one place but they only look at their phone and do not care with their friend. It will make them become individual and reduce their emphaty to others.

On the other hand, modern communication devices help people to convey with others who live far from them. They just need to use social media like skype or facetime and they can look at their friend in screen. Actually, this method also effective to support people having better contact.

To conclude, i believe that sophisticated communication have a negative impact people live such as reduce emphaty to others. It is better to talk than only send a message or email. However, modern technology also help people connect in far distance.
Faridadwi18   
Aug 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / People should limit the use of electronic media to maintain relationships in reality [3]

Hi tyar,
Here some corrections for you,

- There are so many negative effectS that
- It is also affect many problems on personal relationships between people
- I argue that people should limit the use ofusing electronic media (...) between others in realityreal life.
- Today people use their whole time ...Today most of people use their time to play with their electronic media
- They spent a lot of time to watchwatching television or (...) conversation with their neighbor
- because we are to focusedfocus with our business.
- there are many benefitS that we can get from it.
- SmarphoneSmartphone (spelling)
- madiamedia (spelling)

Be careful for miss spelling. Hopefully it helps
Faridadwi18   
Aug 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / Honey-bee Colonies and The Production of Honey - IELTS Task 1 [2]

The bar charts give information about the number of honey-bee colonies and the production of the honey in every 10 years start from 1970 to 2010 in the United States. Overall, it can be seen obviously that both of graphs show decreased trends while honey-bee colonies had significantly decline trends, honey production experienced slightly fluctuating trends.

To begin with, the highest number of honey-bee colonies was in 1980, at 4,2 millions while the least was in 2010. In the first 10 years, the number of colonies had slightly incline until reached the peak in 1980 but for the 30 years later show sharp decline at 1,7 millions in 2010.

The honey production experienced a fluctuating trends over 40 years period. The biggest number of production was in 1970, at 130,000 tonnes while the least was in 2010, at 70,000 tonnes. In 1990, the number of honey production had higher humber than other years but had less number than in 1970.




Faridadwi18   
Aug 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / Do you think that emailing and texting reduce the togetherness? Writing Task 2 [6]

Hi Hirani,

- ... the benefit aspects are morebigger than the weakness aspects.
- As far as I know, people in the past time metmeets their friend directly. They will come to their friends'friendshomehouse then spend their time together.

- Messaging and mail mailing are examples of ...
As i know if you use conjunction you need to use same structure. for instance, messaging and mailing (Verb -ing and Verb -ing)
Hopefully it helps.

Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳