Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1 IELTS, THE ALTERATION OF AREA IN BRADENBURG [2]

The two maps present the development of this urban planning between 1990 and 2010 in Bradenburg, alongside with mall and novel railway were built. Looking for the details, before being established, this site was many of trees and retirement home in the immediate surroundings of main street.

To begin, there are enormously developments regarding the transportation in this area. In 2010, the airport in northern of this city was built. Subsequently, the government added the railroads along the coastline with a huge manufactory in the west of railway station. In addition to this, a ferry port was reconstructed, adjacent to new railway station.

It was several the other business sector built in this city. In 2010, an enormously big supermarket could be seen in the south-east of the city and also the five major apartments in south of mall, alongside a new motorway and in the north-west of the city, nearby an artificial lake. In any case, the private house in northern-east of this city was built in the last year.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS PART 1- MAP the alteration of urban planning [2]

The two maps presents the layout of urban planning, a period of 62 years, started in 1948. Looking at the details, before being established, the city was house settlement, business sector and the church.

Looking at the details, in 1948, there were several house residents in the central of this city with the garden in the left side of industrial area. After years, both the house and factories was knocked-down with replacing in commercial buildings. In any case, the local mall was also relocated to in front of petrol station. The old-building of local supermarket was changed into a huge commercial sector. The church located near by the canal was replaced with building the sport stadium.

An airport has been built beside the highway in the north-east of this city for replacing business sector in 1948. However, several residential houses in the south-east of this town remained unchanged over a period.

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Writing Feedback / The two maps present the development of the district site in Stokeford [2]

The two maps present the development of the district site in Skoteford, a period of 80 years, started in 1930. Looking at details, before being established, the area was certainly farmland and several shops there.

To begin, between 1930 and 2010 there are several alteration in the course of 80 years. Farm animals and shops were easily seen in former year but it was demolished in the years later. Surprisingly, in the latter year, modern settlement was developed in this area, running alongside a main road. In any case, the yard and large house was replaced by the private house and retirement home respectively.

In a stark contrast this, the primary school was expanded with bigger area, located in eastern of post office.The government build motorway junction in the north, between road in front of elementary school and bridge. Afterwards, retirement home was bigger with paving highway linked in the main street.

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Writing Feedback / Why the scientific discovery is enormously appealing and essential. [3]

Chris Aderson gives an explanation regarding why the scientific discovery is enormously appealing and essential. The reason why is perfectly plain that he readily concedes when people take a scientific research into account with great curiosity and hard effort, it can make change the world better as such. In this TED video, he strives to give some examples about the discoveries done by Richard Feynman, Erastothenes, and also Galileo led to scientific discoveries.

Writing Feedback / When we learn a foreign language it activates brain's both of hemispheres [2]

TED Summary : The benefits of a bilingual brain

Needless to say, when people study multilingual languages, they tend to easily understand watching international movie and traveling in another country. As such, when we learn another linguistic, it spontaneously makes brain in both of hemispheres active. It can active both of brain' hemisphere for children since they can feel have social and emotional contact. However, for the adult, it can only active one hemisphere. The reason why it is crucial ideas to learn another bilingual is that it can make them to have several skills such as problem solving, switching task quickly and also strongly focusing on something. As a result, learning linguistic science gives huge advantages. Thus, it makes them to become healthier, and more actively engaged with people.

Writing Feedback / The breakthrough platform from central bank of Indonesia [2]

The central bank of Indonesia officially released regarding the office of the financial breakthrough technology on November, 14th. This office as advisory central for plenty of (fintech) financial technology firms in Indonesia has played an enormously role in economic issue in Indonesia. The reason is perfectly plain that this innovation are used to develop industry for more expanding and making sure better financial inclusion since the fact that almost half the Indonesia inhabitants had a lack of knowledge about financial literature. Surprisingly, there have been 120 companies driving financial companies with a vast range of segments such as e-wallet, financial settlements and crowdfunding platforms.

Writing Feedback / How to deal with narcissist when taking holiday [4]

Needless to say, having an enjoyable holiday is overwhelmingly appealing. However, it is enormously terrifying when we make a plan for this entertainment with such narcissistic personality people. How can we deal with this circumstances?. As such, this article explains just to make them become your friend. Subsequently, playing the contrary role is good notion when you get fruitless twattling. Another way is to trying to make them feel good with interesting question.

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Writing Feedback / Getting better life with English mania [4]

Mania can be good, alarmingly, and unfortunately deadly. Needless to say, there is a novel kind of mania in the word, learning English. Surprisingly, 2 billion people eager to learn English with the largest proportion comes to China. The reason why is crucial to learn this linguistic science is because we can get better life through this language such as obtaining a job and also enrolling favorite school. With studying English, we can discuss regarding hunger, poverty and disease with a vast range of people in the world.

Writing Feedback / Bringing up successful kids without over parenting [2]

Julio Lycott-Haims explains regarding the successful style to raise kids. There are plenty of ways that can help them to deal with the situation for future. Initially, it is extremely crucial to ensure that they consume the nourishing foods. It is followed by making sure that they get best education. By the time, it is suggested that parent are not only concentration on boosting their children to get higher scores/ grades but also encouraging them to take the leadership and the charities into consideration. In most cases, we easily find that parents have their own list how to manage their kids with several of activities. While this idea is utterly acceptable, she emphasizes that it is important to bring the spirit to take another chance. For example, parents can courage them to build such communities rather than join a club since a third level education want to see about this skill. It is necessary to strengthen them through chores and support them in having better personality.

Writing Feedback / A healthy life for children - giving juice is not quite good beverage for maintaining their health [2]

In this day and age, parents should take children's healthy lifestyle into consideration. This is by far followed by nourishing them with a nourish diet. In this article, giving juice is not quite good beverage for maintaining them health. Thet should also consider about ingredients of the juice. To make such juice, pasteurization is needed for abolishing all bacteria. This way can also kill a vast range of vitamins and minerals. Therefore, it is suggested that youngsters eating fruit and drink water. Subsquently, many brands of juice have plenty of artificial sweeteners. Unfortunately, it brings several dire effects for children. They can get dental caries in the long run due to the consumption of juice. Consuming juice can have obese problem. The reason why is that its juice can increase blood sugar and blood pressure levels. It can then inflame the arteries and plenty of inflammation in the body. By the time, parents should opt 100 percent juice since it can rich in vitamins and antioxidants for leading a healthy life.

Writing Feedback / Several benefits of practicing meditation [5]

Youngey Minyur Rinpoche, a meditation master, explained about how to meditation. He told that practicing meditation is not about to make to refresh our mind. It then can to alter difficulties into opportunities. In any case, it is believed that meditation have several considerable benefits to transform suffering into enjoyment and look for solutions for some problems. He emphasized that the advantages about this activity was narrowed down into three levels. It was consisted by refreshing the mind, opening the heart for love and compassion and awakening wisdom. Youngey suggested realizing our basic goodness, taking potential, capacity and good qualities into account for getting the point of joy of living. Surprisingly, he gave a sort of meditative techniques for basic level. It was easy to follow for mostly people since we needed to sit down comfortably, closed our eyes and totalled our breath for at least five minutes. Subsequently, people could add more time, whereas it was not suggested to beginner.

Writing Feedback / Keeping children for better education - TEDTALK [3]

Kandice Sumner, a tactful lady, paid attention to people who was unfortunate to obtain a high-quality school. She is a daughter of an officer of state (her father) and an educator (her mother). However, the principle of her family was that wealth was not the majority goals for future. She struggled to broaden her knowledge in days gone by since she had to take an hour from her home to get better education. In retrospect, she thought that it was a common activity that everyone wakes up at 5 o'clock and go to school afterwards. As she got older, she realized that there was any considerable disparity among people and not everyone had opportunities to get a school. There was by far about discriminating issue such as color skin or income. She felt that she should take responsible for this situation. For many years, she strove for cultivating books in a treasure trove of literature. At the end, she strongly emphasized that people should donate their money, resources or time to help them to get better future.

Writing Feedback / How many male and female Alumni in Canada? IELTS TASK 1 [5]

A breakdown of the information about how many male and female learners graduating in Canada, a period of 15 years, started in 1992 is shown in the line chart. Overall, it is really important to bear in mind that the female proportion broke the record as the highest one over the timeframe. What's more, both figures performed as similar pattern.

By 1992, the number of female graduates in Canada had roughly been 100,000 which was significantly popular than other. In 1998, the figure for female graduates went up steadily to the same level after slightly increase in year before. By contrast, the male Canadian learners graduating numbered just 70,000 in the beginning of this year. It then remained relatively stable at roughly 70,000 in 1998.

According to the graph, after a slight decrease in 1998, the figure for female graduating in Canadian reached a peak of almost 150.000. However, apart from a brief decline again in 1998, the number of Canadian male graduates increases gradually over the 10 year timescale to finish at just under 100,000.

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