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|short answer common app ("enrolled into choir")
3 - After having been told by friends that I have great aptitude for music , I enrolled into choir my...
Undergraduateearthtojm - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2009
|Texas at Austin essay (Lance Amstrong, impact on my life)
3 - Why don't you try writing one sentence for each of those points, and then see if you cannot extend...
Undergraduateshamveel - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2009
|'Accepting myself who I am' - UT admission, important issue. Body image
6 - Yeah, this essay is really strong and well-thought out. Normally I can at least find a few things to...
Undergraduatewerrextink - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 16, 2009
|Visual art, Wellesley College; 'my future is ensured'
2 - This essay needs more focus. What exactly is the prompt? You start out writing about your academic interests, then...
UndergraduateULL - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 16, 2009
|Obedient yet rebellious, disciplined, unruly; this person influenced me
25 - Ah, you've submitted it, then? Well, at least you know you handed in a draft that you spent a...
Undergraduateleej88 - Jan 13, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 16, 2009
|Macalester Supplement (experience in Kota Kinabalu)
14 - Thanks a lot guys, I've submitted my application already and read through it a couple times to take out...
Undergraduatepriscileung - Jan 11, 2009 / priscileung - Jan 15, 2009
|'A pre-health student organization' - University of California Transfer
Undergraduateducphan - Jan 15, 2009 / ducphan - Jan 15, 2009
|University of California Transfer Personal Statement -The anatomy lab
3 - Good essay and very interesting. You answered the question nicely. It was well written and I think they'll feel...
Undergraduateducphan - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2009
|Common App - Significant experience (Living in another country)
4 - Nicaragua is drastically different from New York. The Nicaraguan dry and wet seasons, in contrast, are generally forgiving...
Undergraduatethe_lie - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2009
|UT austin, Ms. Sapna Bhargava.
3 - The defining moment in our relationship came in grade eleven , when I scored dismally in the final examinations....
Undergraduatesumantneo - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2009
|SAIC PERSONAL STATEMENT (The Shrink in Me)
NEW - The shrink in me does not judge everything solely on face value. In fact, the thinker in me loves...
Undergraduatepenguin8 - Jan 15, 2009 / — -
|Macalester supplement - 'minor problem with our cultural difference'
11 - The last thing a teacher wants is to stand alone before a large class of students ranging in age...
Undergraduatekofpower2411 - Jan 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2009
|UT_ issue of importance ("strong human resources")
3 - Oh, great advice from David! "Vanishing" is indeed better than "disappeared" Should people come back from their...
Undergraduatechegoyam - Jan 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2009
|As children, many of us have dreams of becoming famous or someone who everybody knows or aspire to
Undergraduatemyates - Jan 10, 2009 / myates - Jan 15, 2009
|'Sheltered life in New Jersey' - School Principal Essay
4 - In college, students will meet people from countries they have never heard of or religions that they have never...
Undergraduatechebeelol - Jan 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2009
|'A Modern School in New Delhi' - UT Austin Essay 1
4 - I guess you could take Kevin's advise and do the mandatory amendments. Other than that, your essay seems right...
Undergraduatesumantneo - Jan 14, 2009 / leej88 - Jan 15, 2009
|Essay about the subjects in which you excel or have excelled.
Undergraduaterosy - Jan 8, 2008 / 4ever2bleed - Jan 15, 2009
|Macalester Supp #1 - the factors
5 - First, I think you can eliminate the whole first paragraph. Start with the line about your father recommending the...
Undergraduatepriscileung - Jan 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2009
|emory essay (psychology field)
3 - How about we make this all one paragraph at the start, here: The thirst for learning compels me...
Undergraduatedebaterchick09 - Jan 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2009
|FSU Essay: "Vires, Artes, Mores", focus on "Vires"
4 - While it is true that this the nature of the concept of "physical strength," the truth of strength is...
UndergraduateObie55 - Jan 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2009
|Issue of Importance: "we hate change and love it at the same time"
2 - "Change" is a reality that affects us all. For one individual it may be seen as an advancement towards...
Undergraduatebonesshark - Jan 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2009
|Mount Holyoke Supp. Which Verison is Better?
3 - I also liked version 1 better, as it was somewhat clearer. This was quite an achievement considering athletic...
Undergraduatemuriel09 - Jan 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2009
|GA Tech essay [Volunteer. Travel. Study.]
5 - For 9 years of my life, I have been sprinting full force, tripping and scratching myself up , and...
Undergraduateblahblah - Jan 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2009
|'I live in Bangladesh' - Macalester Supplement...I think its a bit off-topic.
6 - "I watched stood by my grandmother's grave silently." watching a grave sounds awkward.. "You can achieve anything, if...
UndergraduateZuhayr90 - Jan 3, 2009 / priscileung - Jan 15, 2009
|essays for penn state u (career goals / personal statement)
12 - gdtbj2008, did you write/print your essay on an extra paper? The space provided in the 'Additional information Form...
Undergraduategdtbj2008 - Jan 8, 2009 / BlueP999 - Jan 15, 2009
|Topic # 1 What you will bring to the University of California - review
4 - If this essay is for UC campuses, then the suggested word count is actually around 500 words. So I...
UndergraduateiLoveCookies - Nov 30, 2006 / kids_jessy - Jan 15, 2009
|I really need help starting my UT Austin essay
9 - It's just my suggestion, First, you should seperate it into some paragraphs, and it would be easier to read....
Undergraduatenoori1234 - Dec 17, 2008 / shine lee - Jan 15, 2009
|Essay : Issue of importance (about a pessimistic friend?)
Undergraduatetasmia01 - Jan 6, 2009 / tasmia01 - Jan 15, 2009
|MIT essay B "The world I come from", soccer championship
4 - Thank you Kevin, and thank you again Constance! I put some more thoughts in my ending before I turned...
UndergraduateJeremy - Dec 31, 2008 / Jeremy - Jan 15, 2009
|"After I took a psychology course..." - University of Texas at Austin Essay
10 - This is a really strong essay. It is well-written both grammatically and stylistically, and provides a specific, unique reason...
Undergraduatelrnsmith09 - Jan 12, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 14, 2009
|IS it okay that me and my friend write about the same situation?
13 - oh yea definately this actually sounds exciting because it is so unique and I'm sure that your friend and...
Undergraduatemenamilad - Jan 11, 2009 / chebeelol - Jan 14, 2009
|umich short answer 1 - "Qi Hui"
Undergraduatewongxy - Jan 14, 2009 / wongxy - Jan 14, 2009
|Bring on the Criticism- Common Application Essay
6 - Thanks for the suggestions everyone, I made all the suggested changes and sent it in yesterday. It was much...
Undergraduatemichael0310 - Jan 8, 2009 / michael0310 - Jan 14, 2009
|'the community is essential in life' - on essay response
Undergraduate4ever2bleed - Dec 27, 2008 / 4ever2bleed - Jan 14, 2009
|Most significant academic experience - "interviewing the mayor in your house"
2 - i beleive you should go into more detail on how these changes occured. Also, i think you should take...
Undergraduatezowzow - Jan 14, 2009 / ChiliC - Jan 14, 2009
|GA Tech ESSAY; "I would like to make my existence a useful one"
Undergraduateazncat - Jan 10, 2009 / azncat - Jan 14, 2009
|CMC essay ("Leadership is a constant theme and emphasis")
14 - one slight problem. this essay does not sound interesting. you need more showing than telling. try to describe the...
UndergraduateZuhayr90 - Jan 2, 2009 / zowzow - Jan 14, 2009
|Colgate short answer; most meaningful piece of advice - "Chin up and smile"
Undergraduateohreally - Jan 12, 2009 / kofpower2411 - Jan 14, 2009
|georgia tech essay (if delayed one year to go to school what would u do)
8 - I think writing about your home country is nice, and you can definitely spend one full year here to...
Undergraduateheroyi - Jan 11, 2009 / kofpower2411 - Jan 14, 2009
|My Life; FALLING THROUGH THIN AIR
UndergraduateSunkenSandle - Dec 1, 2008 / vj_justin - Jan 14, 2009
|'Accountancy and Commerce professor' - best teacher essay
UndergraduateAstrix - Jan 9, 2009 / priscileung - Jan 13, 2009
|The two required essays for UT, need critique
Undergraduatethe_lie - Jan 12, 2009 / the_lie - Jan 13, 2009
|Georgetown Foreign Service Essay
8 - Yes.. good luck! Then you should have a very good chance of getting in with a good essay like...
Undergraduatesunnywowo - Jan 11, 2009 / jennc09 - Jan 13, 2009
|UW ESSAY ("a traditional Indian expatriate family")
4 - In retrospect, I have realized that my life there was more or less a closed circle - a circle...
Undergraduatelemonluck - Jan 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 13, 2009
|My a leadership experience in school, work, athletics, family, church, community
Undergraduatelucy44 - Jan 12, 2009 / charliesun - Jan 13, 2009
|umich short essay 2 ("the mahogany chair")
5 - Besides the corrections that Kevin and AmyRemus made I don't think there was much to change... Great job! and...
Undergraduatewongxy - Jan 12, 2009 / ohreally - Jan 13, 2009
|'doing something constructive that fulfills my time' - Personal Essay (a sense of who you are)
9 - I like the idea of being the architect and engineer of your life!! These terms at the beginning.. put...
Undergraduateyasin391 - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Jan 13, 2009
|common app short answer help ("bare room lined with mirrors")
19 - Well, I'm hoping to go into something such as journalism or English, so I guess in regards to...
Undergraduateearthtojm - Jan 9, 2009 / earthtojm - Jan 13, 2009
|USD ESSAY (Catholic University); 'My mom and dad are uniquely different'
Undergraduatemarissa888 - Jan 12, 2009 / AmyRemus - Jan 13, 2009
|Dilemma on writing an essay on 'a person who has impact on your life'
14 - Teachers are significant in their students' lives - they are not only students' instructors but also counselors, mentors, and...
Undergraduatechegoyam - Jan 11, 2009 / chegoyam - Jan 13, 2009
|Honors Essay U of Washington "unplugged"
10 - Ah, okay, the prompt sort of specifies communication technologies. That's fine, then, but you still need to explain how...
Undergraduatedooolele - Jan 10, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 13, 2009
|Currently, I have A+, Network+, and Administrator Window XP Labsim on my computer
5 - Oh, I just realized I never answered your original question: yes, this essay answers the question. The only problem...
Undergraduate2009stuwahi - Jan 11, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 13, 2009
|An Art student's Personal Statement for UCLA's Art and Designs
Undergraduatecrappyhair - Jan 11, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 13, 2009
|Pepperdine University - an application essay.
4 - I truly deeply appreciate your help... Thanks a lot ! I was so careless when not checking all spelling...
UndergraduateElainephuong - Jan 11, 2009 / Elainephuong - Jan 13, 2009
|Four Essays for Baylor Honors College
UndergraduateMaryA - Jan 11, 2009 / MaryA - Jan 12, 2009
|Georgetown - School or summer activity most involved in - significance
4 - Some sort of discussion of the insights choir has given would really help. Perhaps you could talk about how...
Undergraduatemcwingo29 - Jan 11, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 12, 2009
|External Influence Essay
2 - This is a very entertaining essay! You are very good at storytelling, and it makes a good read. I...
Undergraduatejmp514 - Jan 12, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 12, 2009
|3 Admissions Paragraphy Essay - career goals, education
Undergraduatemelaniesucks - Oct 6, 2008 / melaniesucks - Jan 12, 2009
|'Finance major' - International Student Essay - The Ohio State University
Undergraduatestimpsimp - Jan 6, 2009 / azncat - Jan 12, 2009
|Georgetown Essay - "Limit. Maximum. Boundary."
5 - Hmmmm . . . the essay doesn't really tell the reader that much about you. You want to challenge...
UndergraduateJetSetGo - Jan 11, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 12, 2009
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