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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 449)

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IELTS Essay : Role of mobile phones.

2 - Work on singular and plural: Mobile phones and its their... This is even better: Mobile phones and...

Writing Feedbacknishanthand - Aug 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 16, 2010

My relationship with my family (mother / father / step parents / siblings)

5 - You need a comma and an apostrophe: My parents were not married when I was born, and because of...

Writing FeedbackSocialorphan - Aug 14, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 16, 2010

Should we encourage children to be competitive or cooperative?

4 - That's a really good sentence! You should keep it! =) I think that is my problem...

Writing Feedbackadriennelin - Aug 15, 2010 / Yayz - Aug 15, 2010

GRE AW eassy_ how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.

2 - When it comes to solving the above problem, the first question we have to answer is "What is GOOD...

Writing Feedbackandy_Z - Aug 14, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 15, 2010

Choose one resource that is disappearing to save it - toefl test

4 - I like your first sentence a lot! Within Among the resources that are most critical is water....

Writing Feedbackrobchavar - Aug 13, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 15, 2010

Low salary and more vacation time or high salary and less vacation - TEOFL

3 - Add one more sentence to that first paragraph. Make it a sentence that tells the main idea about why...

Writing FeedbackMissS1987 - Aug 13, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 15, 2010

Some young people believe not staying with parents and some believe in staying.

2 - Hello Yats, I hope Maria's corrections are easy for you to understand. Do you have any questions? I also...

Writing Feedbackyats - Aug 12, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 15, 2010

Why do some students study abroad? Review my TOEFL.

2 - ...that these situation are more common.--- is this supposed to say 'common'?? Also, I think you should list...

Writing Feedbackclaros - Aug 12, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 15, 2010

To speak well is more important than to write well

3 - Hi. I think the example you use is appropriate, the language is fair good and the ideas are...

Writing Feedbackhonghee - Aug 5, 2010 / zengrz - Aug 15, 2010

IELTS essay:the disvantages of cars

6 - Hi, I am also an IELTS student (sometime my opinion may not be 100% correct). I believe that it...

Writing Feedbackstomnus - Aug 7, 2010 / nishanthand - Aug 15, 2010

It is impossible for a man to stay alone - groups are part of human's life

9 - oh ok I thought that sentence we have to add last paragraph means in conclusion but now I...

Writing Feedbackvaishali1980 - Aug 10, 2010 / vaishali1980 - Aug 14, 2010

IELTS Essay : Should Society Ban All Forms of Advertising?

8 - Good points, Preacherjew, so you think it is not good to ban advertising. I guess I think it is...

Writing Feedbacknishanthand - Aug 10, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 14, 2010

Environemtal problem, to inculcate a sense of genuine commitment

4 - I think it is better to be more conventional in this intro: Boosting the price of fuel is one...

Writing FeedbacklittleJenny - Aug 11, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 14, 2010

A two-paragraph essay about speaking in front of a crowd of people.

4 - I think it should be like this: They have are not used to speaking reasonably and choosing proper...

Writing FeedbackZubaida - Aug 11, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 14, 2010

CBEST essay (Hiking and camping): Memorable childhood experience

3 - After this sentence, I think you should add a thesis statement that intriguingly expresses the main theme of the...

Writing Feedbackfenrir - Aug 11, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 14, 2010

IELTS ESSAY : CONSUMER SOCIETIES

5 - Hi Dong, I'm taking IELTS at the end of August and I understand how frustrating it is to write...

Writing Feedbacklin54390 - Aug 9, 2010 / adriennelin - Aug 14, 2010

GRE AW eassy_ individuals VS groups of people in the significance of history study

5 - Overwatch_UA Hi Alexandr Thank you very much for your revised work!! I will make the sentences more...

Writing Feedbackandy_Z - Aug 11, 2010 / andy_Z - Aug 13, 2010

self assesment : attitude towards writing

3 - I think I agree, but what else do you have to say about this essay? Surely you have more...

Writing Feedbackmcolome - Aug 11, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 13, 2010

Summarise information about expenses on different items in five different countries in 2002

4 - Yep, so I was thinking that it would be good for you to give a sentence that tells...

Writing Feedbackgugacb - Aug 11, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 13, 2010

Baku-- a short paragraph about the hometown

9 - Ok, I will change to Oriental - it sounds better in the sentence. Exactly. I usually...

Writing FeedbackAzeri - Aug 8, 2010 / Azeri - Aug 12, 2010

My Dad; He always stands by my side - A Person That Has Influenced My Life

7 - Hi, Please I will like you to give more specific on the second paragraph, like an example of...

Writing Feedbackqbt512 - Aug 10, 2010 / mikkychy - Aug 12, 2010

People attend university because they want to prepare themselves for future career

3 - Thank your Kevin, I hope i will do it more better....

Writing Feedbacknhoc_tini - Aug 10, 2010 / nhoc_tini - Aug 11, 2010

A paragraph about something that makes me angry.

2 - Having picnics at beaches and lakes is not enjoyable because of sickening smells. "Unenjoyable" is not in my...

Writing FeedbackZubaida - Aug 11, 2010 / EF_Susan - Aug 11, 2010

TOEFL Essay: Are there times when lying is acceptable?

2 - Since childhood, we have been told that we should be honest no matter what happens. A lie can...

Writing Feedbackcanto - Aug 11, 2010 / EF_Susan - Aug 11, 2010

GRE-Should governments solve the immediate or the anticipated problems?

4 - Is this supposed to say closer? -----> Local governments are more closed closer to the common people and...

Writing Feedbackbroad - Aug 10, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 11, 2010

my Toefl: which do you prefer?get up early and start day work or get up later...

4 - Others are inclined to get up ... When you use 'incline' it should be like this: "inclined to" example:...

Writing Feedbackoceanyang - Aug 10, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 11, 2010

GRE Issue: The intellectual benefits of attending a university or college are vast

3 - ...There are successful self-taught individuals such as Minhong Yu, who is the owner of trains of English training school...

Writing Feedbackinspiration - Aug 10, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 11, 2010

Cooperating of fathers in child rearing

3 - Yes, cooperation is better in the title. However... cooperating is not exactly wrong. It can be a kind of...

Writing Feedbackhaghshenas - Aug 10, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 11, 2010

Arts such as painting,music and dancing are the most colorful compositions.

2 - We all know that nearly all the outstanding humans have some hobbies involving art.---- good point!!! This is a...

Writing Feedbackmathsgao - Aug 10, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 11, 2010

Children may be stimulated by some new subjects and enjoy a more colorful and meaningful childhood

2 - Oceanyang you have an interesting username!! In Chinese medicine, the top of the head is considered yang, and it...

Writing Feedbackoceanyang - Aug 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 11, 2010

THE IMPACT OF ELECTRONIC MEDIA ON CONTEMPORARY GRAPHIC DESIGN - starting?

6 - 2,000 words is less than 7 pages. It's like writing 3 short essays of a page or two each....

Writing Feedbacksimondo89 - Jul 28, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 11, 2010

The Cask of Amontillado - Research Essay -Cask of Amontillado- in MLA

6 - 1. Read Yahz's suggestion (you didn't bother to follow this site's suggestion, did you?). 2. You may ask...

Writing Feedbackrhaineydaze - Aug 3, 2010 / EF_Team - Aug 10, 2010

IELTS essay feedback, regarding the idea of talking about power of advertising.

5 - Thanks everybody for the help. I will follow the advices and write more. Regards, Jose....

Writing Feedbackjcmorais - Aug 8, 2010 / jcmorais - Aug 10, 2010

How to take a good photograph? Chronological order - process Essay

4 - Thanks a lot for all the answers!! I'm not a native English speaker so I have some problems...

Writing FeedbackMakubexD - Aug 9, 2010 / MakubexD - Aug 10, 2010

Topic:My father.It's a preparation of speaking section for toefl.

4 - Okay, you got some very good corrections here. You can look at them all and practice typing the essay...

Writing Feedbackhonghee - Aug 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 10, 2010

"to have three years of studying a foreign language" - my toefl essay !

4 - Learning a new language in high school can be very helpful when traveling to foreign countries or for study...

Writing Feedbackadoh - Aug 7, 2010 / oceanyang - Aug 10, 2010

Only by questioning accepted wisdom can we advance our understanding.

4 - That is great, but you should revise a little so that the reader can appreciate the significance of...

Writing Feedbackprakharsingh - Aug 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 10, 2010

IELTS ESSAY: GUN CONTRAL

5 - Hey, that makes sense. I see now that per cent used to be 2 words and that people gradually...

Writing Feedbacklin54390 - Aug 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 10, 2010

Friends, knowledge, purpose: people attend college for many different reasons

5 - You should add a sentence to that first paragraph. You can say it is indispensable... then give a sentence...

Writing FeedbackMrTom - Aug 8, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 9, 2010

Advertising nowadays has more and more affects in our lives.

6 - Advertising nowadays more and more affects in our lives. We can see advertise everywhere, such as: televisions, newspapers, radio,...

Writing Feedbacknhoc_tini - Aug 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 9, 2010

Topic:Is telling truth always better than telling lie or only partial truths?

5 - Yep, every article I have seen about this kind of issue involves a reference to Kant. You can...

Writing Feedbacktrungandhoai - Aug 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 9, 2010

'Love, money, career and faith in God' IELTS Happiness essay

4 - your essay is good enough I think the happiness is to pursue what we love and fulfill a meaningful...

Writing Feedbackjulieta4648 - Aug 5, 2010 / lin54390 - Aug 9, 2010

Topic: Which is the most effective method to bring people to peace?

7 - Well, you explain very well, but add a conclusion sentence to paragraph 2: This gradually ceased the hostility of...

Writing Feedbacktrungandhoai - Aug 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 8, 2010

The best way to improve education is to raise teacher's salary.

4 - Not only can it lead a person walk to success, but also supply a gorgeous life this is not...

Writing Feedbackhonghee - Aug 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 8, 2010

How to write an argumentative essay about the advantages of recycling water?

2 - This part is boring and too obvious. Can you think of a clever way to start the essay?...

Writing Feedbackarquimedesamaya - Aug 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 8, 2010

'Digital life' -The 21st century has begun. What changes this new century will bring?

3 - Hi Vaishali, I am so impressed with your diligent practice of English writing! I notice here that you...

Writing Feedbackvaishali1980 - Aug 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 8, 2010

leader you think is important

9 - Ha ha... that is so funny. Actually, when I saw you spelling it that way, I thought that must...

Writing Feedbackvaishali1980 - Aug 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 7, 2010

"Love is a universal constant" - Essay About Love in Literature

7 - This is great. I think it helps writers a lot when readers tell their impression about the message...

Writing FeedbackAcinonyx - Jul 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 7, 2010

toefl--athletic departments should receive the same amount of funding as libraries

11 - Good luck on the test! Ha ha, I don't want to add to your list of things to...

Writing Feedbackmonicacho - Jul 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 7, 2010

IELTS essay: High sales reflect Power of Advertising and not the Real Need

4 - Google this: how to write a concession paragraph. I usually call it "refuting the counterargument." You probably already...

Writing Feedbackadriennelin - Aug 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 7, 2010

GRE-is history relevant to our daily lives?

3 - Dear Trung Mickey: I really appreciate your valuable comments. There's much for me to learn. I have to admit...

Writing Feedbackbroad - Aug 5, 2010 / broad - Aug 7, 2010

What do you want most in a friend -toefl feedback

3 - Tanks for your advices,they are very helpful :)...

Writing FeedbackMrTom - Aug 5, 2010 / MrTom - Aug 7, 2010

"Learning is power" - toefl-why people go to colleges or universities?

4 - As a novice of English writing I am shocked by those feedbacks .They are so specific and strict...I think...

Writing Feedbackmonicacho - Aug 3, 2010 / MrTom - Aug 6, 2010

Favorite song - Kitto Mata Itsuka

4 - Hello, Boataaa, I see that Shin and Sara fixed the errors for you! Is your brother able to retype...

Writing Feedbackmamaki - Aug 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 6, 2010

Topic: What is one great question that every well-educated person should ask?

6 - A quick note before I start, revise your use of punctuations (the colon that you have placed there), for...

Writing Feedbacktrungandhoai - Aug 3, 2010 / triplesmickey - Aug 6, 2010

Are people held back by doing things in the conventional way? SAT essay. Advice.

4 - You have a great way of writing. I think this is redundant when you say nor---either. There isn't enough...

Writing FeedbackAmbermutt - Aug 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 5, 2010

Media for communicating information: comics books radio television ﬁlm

6 - Thesis sentence at the end of paragraph 1: Add a comma: However, I believe not all these provide good...

Writing Feedbackjulieta4648 - Aug 3, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 5, 2010

Issue about General Welfare/ SUREST INDICATOR OF A GREAT NATION

7 - EF_Kevin Sounds like a good book~~...

Writing FeedbackDingDang717 - Aug 1, 2010 / DingDang717 - Aug 5, 2010

Students should not be told political & social views of the teachers.

NEW - Admittedly, as we all take for, teachers aim to provide knowledge to students. Teachers should confirm the scope of...

Writing Feedbackgarnekuan - Aug 4, 2010 / — -

wealthy nations best help: food, money, education, technologies, health care

4 - well, here are some of my personal opinions below I think your main paragraph is a bit irrelavent,...

Writing Feedbacknanudom - Aug 3, 2010 / lin54390 - Aug 4, 2010

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