Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: The flowchart illustrates the steps in the process of chocolate production. [2]

This is a strong procedural explanation. The depiction of the cacao making process is such that the vader can easily imagine the creation process even without an image presentation. There do not appear to be any missing presentations at the start and middle of the process. The last part is also well explained. The quick writing process shows a thorough explanation of the drawings. The writer also took pains to proofread, revise, and edit the report. This is one of the better written versions of this task presentation. It was done well enough to merit a passing score in all the scoring divisions. The writer is off to a good start with this practice essay and shows the potential to create good Task 1 essays in the future.

Graduate / Study plan for MEng Civil Engineering, University of Windsor, Canada [2]

The reason for seeking a residency permit sound more like you are eventually planning to apply for citizenship in Canada regardless of the family ties in Iran. Your partner may own business properties in Iran but you don't. The officer may be convinced that your partner will go back to Iran, but there is a question about your sincerity on that part.

The work offer does not appear solid either as you are not presenting evidence of a hold hired status on your part. There is also a lack of work related need for your residency permit. Prove that you need to stay and work or train in Canada based on specific work duties and functions at the company that wants to hive you or, has hired you in principle ( with evidence ).

Writing Feedback / Technologies have developed very fast in the past 100 years. Advantages or disadvantages? [2]

The writer should not find reasons to agree with an opinion that he disagreed within the response sentence of the paraphrase + opinion paragraph. The reasoning paragraphs, both of them must focus only on presenting reasons that prove the writers opinion to be the correct one. Being a single opinion presentation based on the idea " is it an advantage or disadvantage ? ", the writer has been tasked to provide evidence of the validity of a particular point of view. The essay shall be scored on the paragraph that offers a valid discussion based on the stated opinion of the writer. Sadly, that short and quick paragraph may not be enough to gain a passing score due to scoring evors in that single paragraph.

Writing Feedback / Everyone should stay at school until 18. Do you agree or disagree with this idea ? [2]

When the writer indicates a partial agreement to the idea, the end of the agreement must be indicated. A statement such as;

I partly agree with this idea in as much as it relates to the relevance of schooling to a person's ambition in life.

It is important to create a solid reasoning statement to give the partial agreement a good reasoning basis that remains relevant to the prompt and discussion instructions. The essay discussion must not change to a comparative discussion as this did. It must remain singular in opinion discussion. This essay fails to provide a clear opinion and properly developed explanation for the reasoning idea.

Writing Feedback / Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. [2]

The writer is asked to provide his opinion on the given topic with a yes or no answer. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Yes or no? Pick one side to defend. This is a more complicated comparative essay to write due to the advanced formatting basis. This should be written in the following reasoning paragraph format:

Sentence 1: Claim an advantage
Sentence 2: Offer an opposition based on a disadvantage reason of the same topic (advantage)
Sentence 3: Give an example of why it is a disadvantage rather than an advantage
Sentence 4: Expand on the disadvantage based on the example
Sentence 5: Transition to the next topic

The current presentation tries to justify both topics. A discussion format that runs counter to the true discussion presentation needs, based on the original prompt presentation.

Writing Feedback / The unwanted consequences of internet existence. The main problems and solutions. [2]

The prompt restatement could be better represented but is at least understandable in your version. The problem in this paragraph is the lack of discussion paragraph outline based on simple responses to the provided questions. One response topic per question. The responses will create the basis for the succeeding 2 reasoning paragraphs.

The paragraphs show that the writer is familiar with the provided topic. However, the sentence presentations are a bit on the confusing side. Time references to the A.M. and P.M. aspects need to be better identified. Proofreading should be done to prevent correctable errors such as "om" which should have been written as "from" .

An opinion essay must be written from a convincing point of view. Presenting the idea using the phrase" I think "negates the strength of the writer's opinion due to the uncertain nature of the reference. That said, the discussion in the solutions paragraph still focused on the correct presentation format.

The essay presentation has several problems that can be avoided in future writing presentations. Always remember to proofread for increased writing quality and clarity considerations.

Scholarship / GKS U scholarship application - to innovate for business and economics sectors in Indonesia [2]

This essay is confusing to read due to grammatical inaccuracies. Though the essay does its best to respond to the previous prompt requirements, it is too simple in writing and not competitive enough in terms of academic experience and competitiveness. While the sincerity in writing is evident, the essay needs more information build up of the relevant kind. It fails to excite and entice the reader. Yes, there is plenty of room for improvement in this presentation, it will not be advisable to correct the essay until the new writing requirements have been released for the September application season. Thin essay maybe setaside for now and used as a draft once the new writing requirements have been made public. If there are no charges to the written prompts, then improvements may be applied to the content of this essay, but not before then.

Writing Feedback / The debate on whether enterprises should value appearance, or the work performance of the laborers [4]

The prompt restatement immediately shows an inaccurate usage of words based on synonym unfamiliarity. The word off concern is "laborer" meaning a person who uses his physical strength to complete his work. An "employee" is different from a laborer in the sense that an employee uses him mental abilities to accomplish a task. The more appropriate synonym would have been "office worker".

The discussion format is also incorrect in the body paragraphs as the essay no longer explains both public opinions first, then the personal opinion of the writer second. It disregards the original writing instructions in favor the writer's sole opinion for all discussion points. The writer also shows improper use of conjuctions as there are sentences in the essay that begin with conjuctions. a writing style not allowed in English academic writing.

Writing Feedback / Some say that traveling and working overseas is the only way for acknowledging foreign language [2]

The prompt restatement is true to the original. Even the personal opinion is well presented. The prompt + personal opinion is, although grammatically inaccurate at times, still clear to the reader. The sentence structure maybe off at times within the essay but the words are used in the correct manner, which helped in the understanding off the writer's text.

The actual discussion is . an explanatory paragraph with regards to the opinion about other reasons for learning a foreign language based on the public opinion supporting it The reasoning immediately pimped to a personal opinion, creating an incomplete discussion presentation. The essay may receive a score even though it is undeveloped and might even get a low passing score. It cannot be considered for higher merit due to the missing paragraph presentation. The writer must always deliver the number of reasoning paragraphs based on the writing instruction in the prompt provided to recieve full scoring consideration. in this case, that means 3 paragraphs ( discuss both views and give a personal opinion).

Writing Feedback / The extinction of animal species and plants is a pressing issue today [3]

The discussion for this essay requests that the 2 public opinions be explained based on the theory that the believer of each opinion has prior to the presentation of the personal opionion of the writer. This is a "discuss both points of view and give a personal opinion essay". The basis of the public opinion should be covered within 2 paragraph explanations, one for each point of view, using third person pronouns to clarify the talking points of each representative sector. The essay is not a singular poont of view explanation, which is what the current presentation is based on. The response format is terribly incorrect for this discussion as provided in the original prompt. The expected response format is not provided.

Though the discussion points presented are qualified for the topic, it is the presentation that is a problem. It must be written as:

- Public Opinion 1 + Explanation
- Public opinion 2 + Explanation
- Personal Opinion + Explanation

The response statement in the first paragraph is also incorrect and confusing to the reader as it does not deliver a complete idea based on a the required discussion format: Personal opinion + 1 Reason

There is also no reason for the writer to be starting off each paragraph with the dash punctuation mark rather than the actual text. There is no need for that in this presentation as it is a direct written presentation. The essay also contains heavily researched information regarding situations such as earthquakes, tsunamis, public involvement, among others, all of which run counter to the basis of examples which are personal knowledge and experience, as well as public knowledge.

Overall, the essay does not meet the proper discussion and formatting requirements which would help it achieve a passing score. Since the discussion format is incorrect, the examiner will not be able to properly grade the essay beyond the TA section. The LR, C+C, and GRA considerations cannot be assessed based on the current discussion format.

Writing Feedback / Essay about should creative artists have their freedom for whatever they do? [2]

The prompt restatement iss acceptable. However, the extent Uspouse clarity was affected by the improper sentence structure:


This is a redundancy that shows the writer is not looking out for less C + C deductions. It actually shows a lack of care for thought clarity in the presentation. The writer could have had a strong base score if not for that sentence formation error.

In the first reasoning paragraph. The writer presents a valid opinion that would have been made more valid by a solid reference to say, the author's own experience or public knowledge , represented by the mention of a specific country. This falls under the personal knowledge, experience, or public knowledge discussion basis requirement of the writing instruction.

In the second reasoning presentation, there should be a specific reference to the artists of modern masterpieces Be they local or international artists, these are names of public knowledge in the field.

sThe essay digresses from its point by presenting the usrequired Ind paragraph. As that opposes the actual opinion, it will be disregarded in the scoring process. As a single . essay, this must contain no more than 4 paragraphs. Both reasoning paragraphs must strengthen the opinion focus of the essay. If not for the unnecessary 3rd (opposing) reason, this would have been a positively solid scoring presentation.

Writing Feedback / Governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both views, give your opinion. [2]

The prompt restatement is lacking in opinion presentation. Both public opinions must be interpreted for the presentation prior to the personal opinion statement. That is because the instruction asks the writer to "discuss both views then give an opinion". The writing format is therefore a comparative analysis based on the A/D + personal opinion format. A 3 paragraph essay based on 2 public opinions + 1 personal statement is required for the reader's information and consideration.

The public opinion discussions should use the 3rd person group pronouns to reflect the explanation of each publicly supported reason. This indicates the writer's comparative dissection of the validity of each public point of view. The first person singular pronouns, not group pronouns since that portion is a personal pov, should be used in the third paragraph where the writers belief about the topicis explored and presented.

While there is a strong closing summary presented, the need for a properly formatted discussion will adversely affect the score of this discussion.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Homework should be given by teachers? [3]

There is an inclusion of unverified information in the prompt restatement that has affected the accuracy of the paraphrase. Nowhere in the original does it say that homework wastes the time of the student. As a personal opinion of the author, this should be reflected in his personal opinion presentation. Additionally, the essay does not require that both sides be discussed from the personal opinion of the author. Rather , the reasoning explanation for both viewpoints must be justified from a public standpoint. It based upon this comparison that the personal opinion presentation should be based. These ewors in prompt restatement and discussion formats form the basis of the early demerits in TA scoring for the presentation.

The essay is only composed of 4 paragraphs, all based on the personal s of the writer. The keywords "some people" and "others" denote the public opinion point of iiiel and necessary 3rd person reference explanation paragraphs. This is a comparative, rather than single opinion essay. Therefore, even at 318 words, the incorrect discussion presentation will affect the final score of this analytical presentation in a negative manner.

Writing Feedback / The diagram presents six stages in the life cycle of the honey bee (the diagram is on the internet) [2]

The presentation does not meet the minimum word count of 150 words. This immediately disqualifies the writing from a passing score due to an underdeveloped analysis and data presentation. The expected 3 paragraph presentation format for the report was not followed. It should have a 3 sentence summary paragraph and 2 procedure or development paragraphs. There is a lack of proper development explanation and analysis that led to the lack of properly presented information. The report was completed in a rush and without consideration for the scoring requirements.

These are the most easily observed problems in the presentation. The lack of image prevents me from creating a more comprehensive review for work improvement suggestions.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS Writing task 2] Building houses in existing cities, or to develop new towns in rural areas? [2]

The prompt restatement and response is on target. There is a clear understanding of the topic and the reasoning, where applicable is sound. The discussion went off- focus in the first paragraph, because you were not providing a supporting discussion for your reason. This unrelated paragraph will not help the score as it does not relate to the opinion presentation. Rather, the opinion goes from clear and focused, to confusing and divided.

The examiner will disregard the first paragraph due to irrelevance This creates an underdeveloped reasoning presentation, upon which the C + C score will be based. Stay focused on strongly developing your opinion based an opinion related reasons and examples. Paragraphs 1 and 2 should relate to your opinion, avoiding a comparative discussion or an effort to justify both opinions in a single opinion essay.

There should not be a reference to previous studies and its data as that is not personal or public knowledge. The requirement is for personally known info. Avoiding the mention of a source and stating the data directly turns research into personally known or public information.

Writing Feedback / Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar [2]

The prompt does not require an emotional response because it is not an extent essay (To what extent...) Use the appropriate response method per question. Use a simple and straightforward response unless otherwise instructed.

There are several word usage issues that affect the clarity of what should be a strong response and reasoning presentation. Presenting evidence is different from presenting reasons. The instruction is to present supported reasons. This is where wason varies from evidence :

Evidence - that which tends to prove or disprove something; ground for belief; proof.

The word relates more to example presentations. The essay asks for reasons :

Reason - a statement presented in justification or explanation of a belief or action:

Your statement response would have benefitted more if you had used both sequence words to address the 2 discussion supporting presentations.

The reasoning and example paragraphs tend to be too wordy when it comes to the discussion but the word presentations always move the essay forward. While there are a few less than clear thought presentations, the succeeding discussion explanations help to clarify the previous presentation.

Please make sure to use capital letters when referring to product names as per word capitalization rules. Good job with this presentation, it is more than likely, a passing essay but not high scoring due to the casting presentation issues.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: The maps below show a coal mine and its redevelopment into a visitor attraction site. [2]

The essay is over-written at 226 words. It cannot be completed properly within 20 minutes. The writer will cut into the Task 2 writing time if the proper proofreading, editing, and finalization process will be applied to an essay of this length. 150-200 words would be more than sufficient for their task. 175 words is the most appropriate word count. Not too long, not too short. sufficient enough for the remaining editing time.

The number of images must be identified and tagged in the summary. The tag will help keep the reader on track when the image content is discussed in the paragraphs. The first is identified as a coal mine. How should the new site be tagged based on its entertainment purpose? It was called a Visitor Attraction Site in the image. This reference can be used once at the start then varied throughout the presentation.

A 2 image comparison is done over 4 paragraphs. The 5 paragraph presentation is used only when required in the Task 2 presentation. Do not mix-up the paragraph formats due to writing time constraints. Task 1 essays are always brief in presentation style.

Writing Feedback / The best way to ensure the growth of children is to make parents take parenting courses. [2]

The topic restatement does not use enough alternative word references to be considered an accurate rewrite. It can still be viewed as a memorization of the original presentation. Avoid using/ retaining any original keywords. Good work on delivering a clear opinion based on the response choices. Bad work in the reasoning paragraphs.

The single opinion explanation should have been maintained in the reasoning paragraphs. That is to help expand on the clarity of your opinion as well as create a coherent and cohesive discussion presentation overall.

Unrelated discussions that alter your stated opinion will not be considered. Such references will result in a confusing opinion that will lower the score due to a now confusing opinion. It will also create a little developeexplanation of the actual opinion, possibly resulting in a lower than expected score.

Next time, develop the single supported opinion only.

Writing Feedback / Films Production, Digital Technology [2]

This is a single opinion essay. The writing requirement is that off a single choice response due to the "or" representation for the answer. "Or" represents a co-relation of the words positive or negative. That is why a decision must be made to support just one side of the discussion. Of course the topic has positive and negative considerations. However, you are being asked to explain which side one believes in more and why. Based on scoring considerations, this essay fails in 2 aspects:

- Lack of a clear opinion in relation to the question and possible responses provided;
- Response that is not related to the task.

The foremost considerations in scoring this type of work are :

- clarity of opinion based on a single response choice;
- proper response formatting in relation to the provided question.

Failive to address these points can prevent the written piece mom receiving a passing score.

Writing Feedback / Writing task 1: the percentage of male and female teachers in 6 types of educational setting (2010) [2]

In the summary, there is a mention of etypes but without proper listing of the 6 in relation to context. In relation to the content of the summary, the trending statement should come earlier in the paper since it makes an analytical summary of the data. It is misplaced at the end of the presentation.

That is not to say that one cannot present the trend at the very end. It may be done.However, for better scoring purposes, the writer must learn to identify when and where to properly place the said trend.

The paragraphs do not contain the s number of sentences per presentation. In academic writing, a paragraph needs at least 3 sentences. For this test, the standard is 3-5 sentences. Each paragraph written here only presents data but does not contain an acceptable analysis ofinformation due to lack of paragraph development. An additional sentence per paragraph would have fired that.

By the way, a single image reference needs only a 3 paragraph presentation. 4 paragraphs best apply to 2 image comparisons.

Research Papers / Universal Background Checks [2]

I am not sure if it will be acceptable to you professor to have you writing this paper from the first person perspective. Normally, these papers try to present an unbias opinion to help give the research and information presentation more weight. While you may write from a bias point of view, it is normally good to present it with less personal involvement, reference. If you are allowed to write from a personal standpoint then, good for you.

Referring to universal background checks early in your paper requires a quick definition of universal background checks and how it differs from the house and senate proposals. A comparison of all 3 bills as presented in each legislative house with specific rejection reasons that this proposal can solve will addstrength to this presented conviction. would also better explain the "allure" you speak of.

The paper does its best to defend the idea and possible success of universal background checks but does not amply explain how it would work and why both sides of the political aisle might support it. A reference to certain lawmakers who might support such a bill on theD and R side would help. Calling your local and state representatives to get an opinion on the said proposal would make this paper more authoritative. It is a consultation that should have been part of this investigation.

* Limited review due to paper length. Contact us privately for extensive review services.

Writing Feedback / To solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners and invest in public transport [2]

The prompt does not require a true or false response from the writer. Therefore, a statement of validity is not required and thus, will not receive any scoring merit. Respond only as instructed to do so. Added information of the irrelevant kind will not have any scoring consideration. A mere restatement of the instruction would have been better. The restatement is good, but includes non-essential data which will lower its sectional score.

Rather than indicating a comparative phrase of "on the one hand", a clearer reference to the discussion focus of the paragraph would be more helpful to the presentation. Clearly indicate if the advantage or disadvantage will be discussed in the first sentence would be best. This creates the clarity of discussion as required per paragraph:

Topic sentence + reference to A or D = Clear discussion paragraph path

Punctuation marks are never used consecutively in a sentence. These may only be used as a thought seperator in the middle and end of a sentence. A comma can never be followed by ellipses. That shows unfamiliarity with punctuation usage /guidelines, for which penalties shall be applied.

The concluding paragraph is not completely developed. It is less than 40 words and does not really recapitulate the previous presentation. it is nota true summary in the sense of the word.

While the discussion does show merit based on the writer's understanding of the topic, there are still several instances for improvement that can benefit the final score of the presentation.

Writing Feedback / Why is studying at traditional schools better than studying at home by using technology? [2]

The essay kicks off with a deducted TA score due to insufficient word count at 239 / 250 words minimum. Deductions in this part means the essay can be prevented from receiving a passing score because the essay is understood to be lacking in proper explanation development, among other additional scoring mistakes or errors.

Due to several prompts being related to this topic, I would need the actual prompt you used to create a comprehensive review of your work. I will work with what I have for now. It won't be comprehensive but it will still be a useful review.

The paraphrase includes the topic and the identification of the opposing sides.Missing from the presentation are the 2 different reason statements for each opinion. The discussion basis of your restatement is incomplete.

Word usage errors exist from the very start with the use of the word later (at a time in the future) instead of latter (being the second mentioned of 2). While the examiner maybe able to guess the more proper word, deductions to the LR and C + C sections will be applied.

A comparative discussion approach was used for what appears to be a single opinion discussion. No scores will be provided for the unrelated paragraph discussions.

This first attempt at task I writing is problematic but shows the writer has promise in writing correct response formats. Better writing guidance and English word familiarity are required for the writer's improvement in response style and overall scoring.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS WRITING TASK 2] IS GLOBALIZATION A MAJOR PROBLEM THESE DAYS? [3]

If you become familiar with the response writing patterns per discussion style, you should be able to get a good grade. Just remember that there are 2 different writing standards for Task 2 essays.

Comparative writing prompts :

- Discuss both views and give an opinion
- compare and contrast
- Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

Those are the only prompts that require 2 comparison paragraphs.

All other prompts:

- Agree or Disagree
- To what extent do you agree or disagree
- Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
- What is your opinion

Are all single opinion reasoning explanations, essays, discussions. A single opinion is the point of view of a writer that must have 2 strong supporting reason paragraphs. This is because you are asked to explain the validity of your opinion using explanations and related examples.

The clarity of the opinion is one of the most important scoring considerations. It is so important in fact, that you are individually scored on how clearly discussed your opinion is The minute you decide on an . work on that sole defense alone so as not to be scored as having conflicting or unclear opinion presentations. You accidentally opposed your opinion in this writing due to the comparative format used. The writing instruction for this essay falls under the single opinion defense task.

Try to avoid using Chinese proverbs in you writing. This does not help show your ability to restate the prompt. In fact, your rewrite failed to include a reference to the following specific aspects in the paraphrasing + opinion paragraph:



The reference to culture in your version is not a correct choice of word because the similarities are in the lifestyle as per the original discussion reasoning.

Based on my observations of your work, I believe the total band score for your essay need not be mentioned. It is evident and self- explanatory. I hope my explanation cleared things up you you in regard to response styles. I look forward to seeing improvement in your next writing task.

Scholarship / Study Plan for GKS-G Scholarship - Study Plan - Computer Science Undergraduate [3]

The essay does not meet the information requirements at all. There is no study plan in relation to relevant and usable research for the graduation thesis. The content is a mix of a language study plan and personal statement, which means the content is unfocused. She prompt is actually self - explanatory and need not be explained again.

It is all about proving that you course of study and interests have to do with the academic and professional excellence of Korea in the field of choice. It does not have any relation to Korean variety shows and dramas.

It is about a desire to learn from Koreans based on their various contributions to the field that can prove to be of benefit to another country. This, does not accomplish any of the required and implied requirements. A new and more prompt adherent essay must be written for the prompt.

Writing Feedback / What sorts of food do you like eating most [2]

Try to consolidate your background description in relation to the topic. Prompts like there have to be written insteps. For this, the writing steps are:

1. Explain you background ( I am a student)
2. Talk about the student lifestyle (limited lunch hour )
3. Explain the connection of the background and lifestyle to the food preferred/ like eating the most (fastfood)
4. Describe the convenience it offers based on healthy food choices and time convenience.

The response can still be written in a single paragraph. It just needs a better information outline to help the reader become better informed. The writing direction in needed for clarity and easy discussion flow.

Writing Feedback / Task 2: Some people think that sports play an important role in the development of society [3]

The discussion instruction is to write an analytical opinion of both views before giving your personal opinion. So the discussion must be presented within 3 analysis paragraphs:

- sports develops society
- sports for liesure
- personal opinion ( healthy and thriving economy)

Though the essay is engaging and informative, there is a specific discussion format and topic requirement per paragraph. Athough the essay meets the word requirement, the general discussion format is not applicable to this presentation. The point of view presented does not identify itself in terms of giangs pronoun representation. The explanations should clearly apply to or identify a group point of view prior to the writer's perspective paragraph.

Writing Feedback / Whether taking part in a team sport is preferable is still an argumentative issue [2]

She prompt restatement is selective and incomplete. A proper paraphase covers a representation of both topics presented, inclusive of the personal statement of the writer. One cannot look at both sides ofa debate when only a single discussion aspect is presented for consideration.

The second discussion topic /paragraph is surprising as there is no preliminary basis for this discussion paragraph. All discussion topics to be discussed should be established in the first paragraph to create a proper discussion outline for the upcoming paragraphs. This creates clarity for discussion points and coherence in succeeding paragraph discussions based on topic connectivity from one paragraph to the next.

The lack of reference to the writer's personal opinion is obvious. Only general discussion points of the public aspect were addressed in the essay. The implied discussion format was not followed. This is an incomplete discussion presentation that will recieve only partial scoring considerations due to several missing scoring elements.

Writing Feedback / Plan a problem and solution essay for the issue that you chose, explaining what should be done about [2]

When the prompt was created, the writer neglected to create an introductory or preliminary paragraph that focused on deforestation. The topic chosen is not clearly explained by the reason. The prompt statement also fails to reflect the questions to be discussed based on clear responses to the outline questions. oThe prompt statement is not effective in reflecting the writer's thoughts.

For some reason, the writer saw it fit to bring forth the thesis statement as a topic statement in the 1st discussion paragraph. This created an incomplete prompt statement in the actual prompt paragraph.

The writer is also careless as there is evidence of lack of proofreading in the work. The inclusion of format coding in the paragraph proves this. There is no discussion development in the paragraphs, only listed problems. Less focus on topic presentations and more discussion or explanations are the actual requirements for the presentation.

There are more explained solutions, creating a lack of balanced discussion. This imbalance highlights the lack of writing planning and outlining prior to the actual essay drafting. In fact, it is the draft version, rather than the edited final version that Was submitted for this review.

Writing Feedback / A claim that people should find an approach to live with global warming instead of preventing it [2]

There is no need to say" However" before presenting the disagreement. It does not fit the sentence structure. Since it had already been made clear that a sector supported the idea, the writer may simply state his opposing idea since, he doesn't support any aspect of the previous statement. The writer should have instead, referred to reasoning topics related to his opinion.

The gen pool discussion came out of the blue. It lacks a proper connection with the previous focus points. This creates confusion for the reader and . creates a non' cohesive and incoherent paragraph. The numerous topics per paragraph create an over- discussion that lacks in clarity via transition sentences. Though the discussions are good, the lack of coherence is what creates scoring problems for this essay.

Letters / Complaint letter_complaint about service of online shop [2]

The letter clearly follows the prompt requirements with regards to content. The sentiment is clear and offers clear demandsto correct the situation. The problem is mostly in the sentence structures as it shows ESL beginner writing levels. There should be a review of time reference usage for the student, who does not understand past and present word usage when presenting time fframe related ideas / sentences.

The 2nd paragraph could use more focused writing. other establishing factors for the complaints began to lose justifications leading up to the complaint about the deliveryman. The complaint department needs more information than provided to act on the complaints beyond the t-shirt color. More explanations are required but cannot be completed within 20 minutes. The focus should not have been too spread out. Discussing only the main complaint would have been best.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Individuals have changed their way in interaction [3]

There is a difference in word meaning between affect and effect:

affect- verb ; to act on; produce an effect or change in:

effect - noun ; something that is produced by an agency or cause; result; consequence:

Effect is the word that should have been used. Word meaning affects the idea presentation of a sentence. Improper word usage causes incorrect meaning and idea development. It affects the clarity of the overall presentation and can confuse or mislead the reader. Word usage and word meaning familiarity is important.

The thesis response also lacks clarity because the statement was divided into 3 parts rather than being blended into a single presentation :

Human interaction has changed in a positive manner due to technology.

Combine all the information highlights into one presentation to create an effective thesis sentence.

The essay has a good but researched example. stick closer to home. How has our interaction with others improved when compared to how our parents used to do it? That gets a better consideration as it is based on personal experience.

No author was mentioned in the prompt. This sentence misleads the reader. The rest of the paragraph is still on point and helps further explain the - of the writer. The concluding paragraph can use a better presentation. Try using 2 - 3 sentences to restate the discussion points next time. It will help with s a clearer post discussion summary to the reader.

Writing Feedback / People believe that the government should make college free. AGREE OR DISAGREE? [2]

There are 2 schools of thought provided for this prompt and yetonly one is reflected in the restatement. The essay provides an incomplete revieeu of the original prompt. Both points of view must be provided in order to give merit to the writers stated opinion.

As this is not presented as a comparative discussion originally, the presentation of the writer discussion must be selective by design. Using a single supported opinion based on an agreement or disagreement with the statement, prove the writer's selected opinion to be true. This must be done via 2 related reasons that can support a connected paragraph discussion. The lack of the "compare and discuss" writing instruction invalidates the current writing approach to the question.

Writing Feedback / The given diagram illustrates the complex procedures required to produce liquid chocolate [3]

The writer must be more familiar with the image types. While the prompt provides a clue to the type of image, the student must fulfill the accurate image identification requirement in the writing. The image provided is an illustrative diagram.

The trending identifier was accidentally blended into the descriptive paragraph in the second wiling part. That first sentence should have been merged into the summary instead. By adding the trend in the second paragraph, the target discussion of the presentation became blurred to the reader.

The procedural references, per paragraph do the job. The vocabulary is properly used and sentences are properly written for the most part. The reader can easily imagine the actual chocolate or cocoa making process. There are few errors in the presentation.

* Contact me privately for scoring services.

Writing Feedback / 1. Some people think that it is better to work for different organisations during the career [2]

Donot turn the discussion intea controversy. That statement is unnecessary as the writer is altering the original statement presentation. The second sentence lacks subject clarity as the reference to the choices provided was not indicated. The personal opinion provided is not grammatically correct, but manages to get its message across, as is important in that sentence. The addition of a personal reason would have further helped the statement.

The writer provided good justifications for their public opinions. General discussion references kept the - point of view clear to the reader. All that was lacking in the presentation was the expanded personal opinion discussion. A requirement of the prompt that would have ensured the highest possible score for this essay.

While there is a reference to a personal opinion in the concluding paragraph, it really required a stand alone paragraph for score enhancing discussion detail. That is the best presentation format for this type of essay.

Writing Feedback / Global product and economy - CAMBRIDGE IELTS 10 Test 3 Writing Task 2 [3]

There is no prompt attached to this essay which makes it difficult to review. As there are several similar prompts related to this topic, only a general review may be provided.

The paraphrase can be made clearer. The reader needs to understand the exact focus of this discussion. What resemblance proves to be a problem? Why is it termed a negative enhancement? Does the writer realize that a " negative enhancement " is a contradiction in terms/ meaning?

Negative - Noun; a negative statement, answer, word, gesture,
Enhancement - verb; to raise to a higher degree

Enhancement should be used on positive leems as much as possible to avoid meaning confusion.

Though the words combined sound high brow, the actual meaning is confusing to the reader. The word usage in this essay is mostly meant to impress the examiner but fails in its task because the meaning of the sentence becomes hard to decipher in ordinary terms. The writer should focus on being understood rather than showing his word range.

Do not use information such as the 1970's U.S. economy as an example because the audience for this essay isn't comprised of economic professionals. more everyday references would have sufficed. Or any easily understood reference to the way economies are affected by the topic would have helped deliver a clearer idea of what you wish to say.

Writing Feedback / One thing that makes me happy this week. [2]

This essay is meant to be a deep reflection of your relationship with your sister. If should cover at least 2 simple paragraphs. other fiust paragraph should set the stage for why your sister decided to open up to you and how you responded to it. Develop the reasons why her openness made you happy.

The second paragraph should relate to how your relationship was prior to this event. Then explain hour you felt after the talk. How did the relationship change for the better and why this gave you joy. Expand on the realization that the child is now a teenager and why that made you happy and what it means to you.

The essay is off to a good start but is boring to read because of the direct writing approach. If allowed, be creative. Setup the scene, add dialogue and action, given things up in the presentation.

Scholarship / Agriculture and Pest Management - Personal statement for commonwealth scholarship [2]

Save for some researched information, this essay is devoid of any actual content that relates to the given prompts. The worms do not appear to be a national concern since there are no government projects in action to address the issue. Even the writer shows only a superficial concern for the problem as there is no reference to any personal interest and actions being undertaken to address the issue on a local scale. There is a lack of engagement between the writer and the government that would help the information presented become relevant to the prompts.

The content of this writing is nothing more than an early draft of possible ideas that maybe expanded in content to address the 2 prompts. Further related information presentation and development is necessary to improve the content. This draft is not useful beyond being introductory paragraph topics.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS WRITING TASK 2] WHETHER COMPUTERS ARE THE MOST SIGNIFICANT INNOVATION... [2]

Let's be clear, a reference to the "last century" means the most recent 100 years (20th century). The reference point to time in the interpretation " centuries " does not carry the same time span indicator. The reference went from clear (last century), to vague ( last centuries). The question provided was not answered in the thesis sentence either. There is no extent reference indicated because the writer changed the prompt question in the response. It is clear that the writer is unfamiliar with the required response style and cannot receive a passing TA score due to a lack of English comprehension skills in relation to the original discussion question.

The discussion paragraphs fail to relate themselves to the extent question as well as there is no real one sided o response in the presentation. The essay meets the word requirement at this point. That said, the essay fails to meet the discussion requirements and as such, cannot recieve a passing score.

Writing Feedback / (IELTS) Home schooling vs School education [2]

Proper vocabulary usage is of the utmost importance in these essays. Word references help to bring clarity to the discussion paragraph incorrect references to early childhood education such as new-borns and babies create confusion because, unlike adolescents and teenagers, the former are still too young to learn. They do not require parent or teacher mentors yet.

It is common for Chinese to focus on proverbs or animal lessons/comparisons when explaining a point. While that is normally acceptable and enjoyable to read, the bee analogy in this presentation is difficult to follow. A more straightfoward explanation would have worked better. The vocabulary knowledge of the writer did not create coherent and cohesive explanations most of the time in the bee themed paragraph.

The main issues here are vocabulary usage and thought clarity. More sentence writing excercises, not necessarily essay writing, can help with this skill improvement. The lack of the proper concluding paraphrase will also contribute to the low score of this essay. The discussion presentation is incomplete when compared to the discussion format requirements.