Writing Feedback / Researchers and travelers are now more easily able to visit remote areas such as the South Pole [2]

This 209 word essay starts at a scoring disadvantage for not meeting the 250 minimum word count. The percentage deductions, added to the scoring error problems could very well produced a failing score. Write at least 250 words so that you don't start the scoring process at the failing mark.

The prompt restatement is still close enough to the original to be considered cut and paste. The original word elements were retained, proving a limited English vocabulary. The thesis statement does not respond to the question either, making the essay fail further as there is no clear s based on a single point of view. The discussion format is different from the required format.

The first reasoning paragraph has portions of clarity in the explanation but, suffers in trample development. That part lacks in proper thought presentation as it confuses the reader. The point of the example should be better explained for it to help increase the score for that paragraph. It has potential in terms of reason. so it has to have a better discussion presentation. Either it has sole advantages or not. There is no halfway point since this isn't a 2 opinion comparative discussion essay. other writing should be disproving 2 advantages as actual disadvantages. It should not deliver one advantage and disadvantage paragraph.

The concluding paragraph should have been the thesis sentence. It is not helpful as a concluding statement since it does not properly summarize the discussion presented.

It is unfortunate that the student did not work hard enough on presenting the essay scoring requirements. The essay shows the exam taker has the potential to pass the test. If the writer properly applies himself to the work.

Writing Feedback / Essay about if self-acceptance is the most important trait a teacher can have [2]

A teacher of the English language should have proficient English vocabulary. Lecturers are supposed to have enough English know-hour to know when a word does not lend itself to the vocabulary in question. The word "self-acceptant" is constantly used in this presentation. A word that is not part of the word variation for " self-acceptance". One can be "self- accepting" but never "self- acceptant ". This Inrov shows that the ESL teacher could endup being an improper educator if allowed to become a U.S. school teacher due to lack of language proficiency.

There is also the issue of improper punctuation usage in the writing. When refining to ownership, the apostrophe comes before the s not after. So the word is "student's" , referring to the possessive reference to the students strengths and weaknesses. An apostrophe is more commonly used after an S to show the plural form of a word. In this case, the reference should be possessive.

In the conclusion, the reference to the discussion is done in a general reference style. The writer should use first person references since it is the writers point of view being addressed.

Given the writing errors, the discussion is still proper throughout the presentation and shows an ability to clearly and strongly discuss the topic. I just cannot say if the examiner can overlook the errors to give out a passing score.

Writing Feedback / Allowing children to decide on matters such as food, clothes and entertainment is beneficial or not? [3]

Vocabulary usage shows a lack of proofreading in the first paragraph. Simple editing should have shown that there isno such word as "haing" in the English language. clearly the writer chose to not give attention to the proper word usage in this essay based on scoring guidelines. There is also a lack of opinion statement as required by the prompt. There is a lack of proper response formatting in the presentation that affects its overall preliminary scoring outcome.

The discussion about character is an invalid discussion point that will be ignored in the scoring process. Review the second topic requirement shows that the second discussion should cover the subjecf regarding the importance of allowing children to make decisions regarding situations affecting them. No part of the essay considers the character of the child in relation to the topic. Just discussions regarding the pros and cons of allowing children to make decisions. The character topic is a change of discussion that will affect the task accuracy of the discussion negatively.

The personal opinion does not cite an actual supported discussion. Neither side is properly explained in that paragraph. This essay does not properly meet required writing instructions.

Writing Feedback / "the solution for using technological devices too much to organise a meeting with other peolple" [2]

The first paragraph is confusing. It does not make a logical representation of the base presentation. It appears to be saying something, without any actual references. I am convinced that you tried to do a transliteration of your thoughts to English' When written in your native tongue, I am sure this makes sense. However, a word by word translation to English equivalents does not due to English word meaning. This will definitely receive a failing TA and C + C score.

Your reasoning paragraphs are confusing as well but become clearer to the reader upon several readings. other problem is now in your solutions paragraph. It is not possible to do your solution due to Covid 19 restrictions. Had you not used covid 19 in the reasoning paragraph, then the solution would have been possible to implement.

Work on your summary conclusions. The current presentation fails to properly recap the previous topic and talking points.

Writing Feedback / The large number of people are drawing attention to communicating online [2]

Your prompt restatement is flawed. You opted to merely restate the discussion topics rather than completing your discussion outline through diect question responses. Your restatement should contain a preliminary summary of the body paragraphs via direct responses. Why is this the case? Suggest a possible solution. complete the essence of your point of view.

Good job on relating the reasons response to the pandemic. It shows you are up to date on current events and its relationship with the people's lives. Excellent point for discussion. Problems in that paragraph relate to word usage. "Can Not" is confusing because it means" an ability to not be able to do something" . 2 seperate words connote the confused meaning. "Cannot" however, one word , means an inability to do something. For this paragraph, the second reason does not relate to the first and should not be presented because of that reason. The unrelated eason weakened the discussion as it created an under-developed explanation in the presentation.

Vocabulary issues continue to be present in the next paragraph. Do not make up English words such as " clearlier", " unknow ", and "chating". Just because it sounds right to you does not mean the word is.in the dictionary. Look it up first. Non-dictionary inclusion means you should not use the word due to spelling and word meaning requirements of the test.

Writing Feedback / People from some nations often attach more importance to possessing a home than having rented one [2]

The topic restatement is properly done. AIthough it would benefitted from better synonym usage for the word " rented". The direct response to the first qquestion definitely clarifies the response and discussion slant for the reasoning paragraphs. Sadly, all of these score increasing accomplishments ended when the writer failed to provide a clear response to the second question. The response to the development query was instead misplaced in the conclusion when the question provided clearly placed the response in the opening paragraph.

The direct response for the said paragraph would have also been more helpful to the score had it been made the first sentence / topic sentence of the second paragraph. It would have been better used As a topic anchor there because the witten opinion clearly called for it as a scoring aspect of the paragraph.

The essay presentation would have been high scoring, clear, and , if the enor in response writing had been avoided.

Writing Feedback / Some people claim that studying overseas will bring considerable benefits to the country [2]

The presentation is mostly on track and relevant to the prompt. However, issues with grammar in terms of vocabulary, time reference points , and sentence structure mar the presentation. Skills development in these areas are must. Review all aspects mentioned above and show an overall improvement next time.

Do your best to present more concise paragraphs. Try to do it in 5 sentences. This is the suggested maximum per paragraph that can help to avoid and/or minimize your writing errors.

The essay is actually a good effort but tends to be over presented. These over presentations caused unintentional errors during the writing process. These mistakes are easily avoidable.

* Contact me privately for scoring services.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL TASK-2 Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient [2]

The first paragraph needs to represent the original prompt without changing the content. The essence of the original topic must be retained in your interpretation. It is evident that your version of the presentation does not retain the original discussion elements in a new manner. I cannot say that this misinterpretation will be disregarded in the actual test. Not even if your thesis statement was properly developed and presented.

The discussion paragraphs reflect the discussion instructions but the concluding summary does not. There is a continuation of discussion points in this section when whatis required is a summary of the previous discussion points. so it has the same presentation problems as your opening paraphrase.

Research Papers / Research Essay advising individuals on how to help their loved ones to stop smoking - review [2]

Do not open with information sources. she prompt summary does not negate the need for a proper topic introduction and thesis statement in the research proper. The same rules still apply with regards to the research basis and importance.

The research paper is too reliant on cut and paste information. It lacks any proper analysis in relation to guide questions that led to your choice to use this information. The professor needs to read about your interpretation of this information based on your research requirements. Expand your research and discussion points beyond mere references in the discussion. It weakens your ability to defend your writing on a personal or academic level.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING PART 2 - working while studying teenagers [2]

Word usage accuracy is important when writing. Simply stating " working while studying does not carry the same meaning as " Working part-time" while studying. The time reference to an occupation totally changes the meaning of the discussion. Provide a descriptive word alternative that stays true to the original reference.

The overall discussion allows for a reference to the public topics, but not explaining the public reasons. The job of the writer is to explain the reasons behind each public opinion before explaining his own. So, there should be 3 paragraphs here that use 3rd person pronouns twice and 1st opinion pronouns once for discussion format adherence and clarity. There was a failure to support and prove the writer's opinion in the discussion due to the incorrect nature of the presentation. There was an accidental shift from the required comparative discussion to a single opinion for 2 points of view when the essay was written.

Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1- the proportion total expenditure in a certain European country between 1960 and 2000 [3]

An outline of the 5 represented sectors is a base requirement, along with a proper / complete image identification is a must in the summary overview. This paragraph should contain at least 3 sentences of information highlights from the task. This element is severely lacking in your presentation paragraph. Trust me, the complete presentation matters when considering your work. Had you combined your trending statement with the summary overview, you would have easily met this requirement. As it is, the single sentence does not represent a significant aspect of the summary.

A complete analysis looks for and includes a reference to equal or overlapping data. There in always one reference to that in each image. Here, you failed to analyze the assumed 14% equality in transport and leisure in 1990. An assumption of eqquality statement or analysis is missing from your report.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Describe causes and effects of extended working hours [2]

Okay. Put away the dictionary and stop looking up representative complicated words that do not help with the clarity of your writing. Everyday simple English words help you improve your score because that proves your actual English academic abilities. Sure, complicated English words sound impressive to the reader. That is precisely why your essay will fail.

Any examiner will immediately catch on to your hyper focus on the LR score, with a complete disregard for all other scoring needs. The presentation becomes less clear to an ordinary reader due to the word choices. The IELTS test focuses on basic writing and comprehension skills. Save the lexical collection for focused research papers. If, you are admitted to an English speaking university / English university overseas.

Do not misunderstand. There is evident understanding of the topic and discussion points. It is the proper word usage in relation to explanation development that is the problem with this presentation.

Writing Feedback / Writing paragraphs about life goals [2]

Since this is only a single paragraph, you need not lead into your explanation with "To begin with". Go directly into your explanations. The please you started with is normally used to start a new paragraph, which in unnecessary in this type of presentation. Focus the rest of the paragraph on explaining why you believe in leisure in relation to the topic. Where a comparison discussion is not indicated in the discussion instruction, none is required in the response presentation. Your personal response almost became an afterthought and is barely discussed of properly developed in the response paragraph. The paragraph should only mention the other possible choices in the first 2 sentences, no more than that.

The problem though, is that you chose leisure as a response when the choices were only wealth and free time. Free time does not automatically translate into leisure time. There is a slight misunderstanding of the prompt on your part. That is based on a vocabulary error which led to a changed response based on the provided guidelines. Rather than leisure time, the original reference word, free time should have been used for relevance and clarity in this response. It would have been the perfect phrase to use in relation to the provided explanation.

Writing Feedback / The causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society [2]

The prompt paraphrase lacks coherence. The amount of words used in reference to the original discussion topic does not help the reader learn about the original discussion topic and guide questions. It is as if a dictionary exploded in that paragraph without an effort from the writer to clean up the paragraph so that it makes sense to the reader. That paragraph does not reflect a properly developed restatement and response.

Sadly, this directionless writing based on an illogical representation of writer thoughts and question response relevance exists throughout the discussion paragraphs. The reader is left wondering about the main objective of the writer. Whatever the reasoning and logic of the presentation has been lost in translation from one language to the next. The writing is inefficient, illogical, and confusing.

The only way the writing can improve in if the writer slows down and goes back to the basics starling with vocabulary development and simple sentence lessons leading into basic English sentence familiarity.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2 IELTS - conflicts about deciding subjects at university [2]

The validity of the personal opinion you present should be in the 3rd paragraph of the essay. It is based on a presentation or analysis of the public reasons supporting each of the public academic study preferences. That means, you have to first understand the validity of each public point of view which will then lend itself to the creation of your personal opinion. You cannot agree with a particular viewpoint from the onset because this is first and foremost, a comparative essay presentation.

The vocabulary usage in the essay is clear for the most port. There are some words that you seem to have made up though as these words are not part of the English vocabulary in any form (ex. expresser) Familiarize yourself with intermediate to advanced English vocabulary to help you avoid future vocabulary usage errors your presentation.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 about impact of social media on both individuals and society. [2]

Keep track of your word count. Always present 250 words or accept the penalties for not presenting the minimum essay requirement, no matter how small. The acceptable range is 250-300. You are under the word count.

You present an interesting measured response. However, the creative response fell short of a truly informative response due to the baseless opinion. An opinion without reasons does not create an effective hook for the body of paragraphs. It is of vital importance that you establish a preliminary explanation in the first paragraph to create solid reference points in the defense paragraphs.

Review your grammar rules covering conjunctions and prepositions. There are problems in those areas in your presentation which, as you know, has a bearing on the scoring considerations for your essay.

The discussion paragraphs you present clearly support your partial response in terms of disagreement with the proposed opinion. Consider presenting parts you disagree with, even though it has some positive effects next time. That way your extent response will be more balanced. That allows for a comparative, but still single opinion response presentation.

Writing Feedback / The pie charts compare household expenditure spending on five different items in UK and New Zealand [2]

The summary overview is the presentation that gives you the opportunity to run down important information for the leader. I tshould offer concrete and complete information even if the reader does not read your report to the end.The lack of image count and comparison divisions in your presentation prevents the summary from becoming truly informative based on breakdowns. A measurement reference would help clear up the measurement in your tending statement as well. Think of how you would want to lead the information if you could not see the image and write accordingly.

The spacebar is your friend. It is the best word and punctuation separator you can use. Regardless of whether you are separating 2 words with an ampersand in between words, or a semicolon to pause the presentation, you need to press the spacebar to ensure clarity and meaning perception through proper seperation of content. Use it regularly in your presentation.

Writing Feedback / Bullying at schools. How to have a good structure in cause-solution writing type? [2]

There are a few things you have to remember when creating your restatement:
- Don't refer to a debate where there is none. Refer to an actual problem instead.
- Just like in everyday conversations, give an answer to the questions asked. Do not throw it back to the reader/examiner. You should not avoid giving direct answers as needed.

Your reasoning paragraph is called just that for a reason. It needs establishing topic openers instead of empty introductions. The strength of your opinion comes from your effective and attention catching topic introductions. Establish the topic of the paragraph instead of introducing it in an empty manner.

Develop your explanation with a believable example. Do not overstate the reasons if your explanations and examples cannot connect the varied discussion points. This creates incoherence in your presentation ideas which leads to little supported reasons and lower sores.

Writing Feedback / The major environmental issue of our time is the extinction of many living creatures on earth [2]


The sentence structure shows 2 connected ideas. Therefore, a comma, rather than a period should be used in this presentation. This happened because of the use of the word "While" at the start of the sentence. It used a comparative sentence approach.


Provide an example to support your opinion and expand the explanation in your personal . paragraph.

For the first reasoning paragraph, use a general reference to the opinion rather than first person pronouns. The use of the first person reference blurs your personal opinion, which should use 1st person references. For this presentation, third person references should be used.


Do not side with any opinion yet. You will not get complete scoring consideration if you combine your personal opinion with the public discussion. These need to be 2 separate paragraphs to meet the 3 comparison paragraph requirement. Omitting 1 discussion paragraph will result in a score based on a weak 2 paragraph rather than the stronger 3 discussion comparisons.

Writing Feedback / Most people try to balance between work and other parts of theirs lives. [2]


Avoid using a cut and paste of the original prompt reference. This is not good for your LR and TA score. For the LR score, a deduction for lack of alternative reference words will apply. The TA low score will be based on using memorized words.


Direct questions require direct responses. You have to prove your ability to offer a short version of your upcoming paragraph responses as if you were participating in an actual class exercise. Your response is empty. It is without meaning in direct relation to the questions. other is your chance to boost your preliminary C + C score.


There is no need to repeat the prompt restatement. Get to the point quickly. Avoid sentence fillers to meet the word count. Every sentence should move the discussion forward.

The rest of the presentation is acceptable enough. Your solutions paragraph represents connected ideas that are developed enough to help you score better overall.

Writing Feedback / The graph depicts the percentage of four different materials recycled over the period of 28 years [2]


Incomplete image identifier. What type of graph? Review and memorize the differences.

Your first trending sentence should have beepresented in 2 sentences:
- Upward thend
- Other material reference


Use a more specific year reference point for better graph point referencing.


You can indicate the year in a parenthesis for GRA scoring improvement.


You did not provide the image. You cannot use this reference. Since you did not establish a proper mental description in the summary overview, the reader cannot create an accurate mental description in reference to this phrase.

* Limited review provided due to lack of image for comparison purposes.

Writing Feedback / Harder to study at school. [2]

[quote=YeuRosie19]I believe that some solutions can be carefully considered to tackle with it.[/quote]
The first part of this sentence establishes your thesis statement. This second half does not answer the second question. Using 2 sentences present 2 related solution suggestions.


There are also a large number of students in the lower years of study. However, there are more students in a college classroom than in an early to intermediate academic setting. Your scenario reference is incorrect but the idea is correct.


The reference "to get" refers to a tangible item. knowledge is intangible. Refer instead to an understanding of the lessons. Brush upon your conversational English skills to improve such reference points on your part.


This discussion is irrelevant due to the previous discussion. There is no clear explanation for this one so it will just lower your C + C score unnecessarily. If you cannot fully develop an explanation, do not present it.


Previous what? complete the reference.

Good conclusion. It is concise and managed to deliver the summary as expected.

Writing Feedback / Writing #1: The graph gives information about male and female gym membership between 1980 and 2010 [3]


For clarity purposes, you must present the year coverage upfront. While the reference works as a time reference. The year coverage is for data summary purposes.


This sentence is a trending introduction. Where is the actual trending sentence/ statement?

It is difficult to read your report because you did not use the correct paragraph format. This is a 3 paragraph presentation due to the single image presentation. Proper paragraph seperation makes for easier reading and data understanding .

You should also better group the data presentation. One for men and one for women. The analysis will be easier to follow that way. Collated information per gender helps with keeping track of data. Meanwhile, the comparative analysis can be the trending statement.

Scholarship / Scientists use living animal to carry our research. Some people think it is interesting. [2]


While the topic is controversial, the presented discussion, which asks for your opinion to be presented, leans more towards a debate. This is due to the strong . presented on both sides. The paraphrase should reflect the discussion mindset in the presentation properly.


Good response but lacking in supporting substance. Think of 2 supporting reasons to allow for a proper thesis outline.



This is a problem. Your actual response is based on research regarding the topic. You cannot do research during the test. The computers do not have access beyond the LAN of the testing center. That is why the instruction asks you to:

...use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

The reference to the act is proof of researched evidence rather than relevant evidence. This means that you will be unable to discuss during the actual test based on common sense rather than research.


What happened here? You lost total control of your thoughts, leading to a failing C + c and GRA score.

Improve on the problem points indicated to better improve your presentation.

Writing Feedback / Toefl Independent Writing - "Never, never give up" means to keep trying and working for own goals [3]


This is not really a required discussion point. It unnecessarily lengthens the discussion by veering off-topic. You should always stay focused on the actual discussion target. Rather,,start the paragraph for scoring reasons at:


You don't need to keep saying that this is your opinion because the prompt has made that clear. So start at the topic sentence instead. The discussion relevant part.


Try to avoid using a conjunction to start the sentence. That is academically incorrect as the conjuction is used to connect 2 apposite ideas in one sentence.


This is not an IELTS test. A conclusion is not needed. You don't have to use this phrase. Instead, use a simple closing sentence to wrap the discussion. Just close. No need to summarize either.

Writing Feedback / Children should be encouraged to play outdoors games that require physical activity? [3]

Your Opening presentation is an incorrect restatement. Compare the following:

OT: Some people think ... in their home?
YT: Use of computer games by the youngsters at home has become a major issue.

So you have a slight task inaccuracy based on the discussion topic. A more proper restatement could have been:

There are a group of people who support the idea that children should be encouraged to engage in out- of-the- house play time by discouraging gadget based play.

The reference to mental health should have been after your agreement. That is the proper place for the thesis statement or discussion reason.

By the way, use the correct response format for the question a measured response is used in an extent essay. For this essay a simple and direct dis/agreement would have worked best based on the given question. No need to exaggerate your response this time.

You cannot write 340 words within 40 minutes if you are after passing based on the scoring requirements. As you can see, we haven't even reviewed the total essay yet and you already have several score lowering presentations. The length affected the qquality of the essay. Next time, stick to 250-300 words and concentrate on increased statement qquality instead.

Your paragraphs are over-discussed. keep it within 3-5 sentences. at this rate you are hoping to pass based on your LR usage alone. The problem is that nobody has passed just on the LR rating. Your writing needs to have a balanced representation of all the scoring requirements. Explain and expound, but don't overdo it.

Writing Feedback / Task 1: Relationships at work with supervisors and companions (survey of workers 2005 and 2009) [2]


Relationships with whom? Refer to the groups in this section first then repeat later.


This is not a trending statement. Base it on highs and lows of the percentages.


Incorrect reference. Each pie chart refers to different information. Therefore, you must individually identify the chart. That shall be the image reference point for each paragraph discussion. You can expect C + C and GRA deductions when you fail to clearly reference an image in relation to the provided data.


Misinformation. Look at the pie chart again. There is no O reference. The poor relationship was at 1%. You will be docked in your TA, C + C, and G R A scores for this glaring error.

Writing Feedback / Reasons why adults pursue education at their age and how their education costs should be allocated [2]

You missed the minimum word count by 4 words. The standard is 150 - 200 words, you wrote only 146 words. The word count deduction will apply. Always meet the s word count to prevent your score from starting at a disadvantage / failing TA score.



The second image is properly identified. The first one is incompletely identified as it is missing the image identifier "bar" for the chart. To be specific, it is a " crosswise bar chart".


You forgot to identify the image you will be discussing for C + C reference. For what? What is the subject of the sentence? An incomplete sentence will affect you C + C and GRA scores.


At what percentage rate? It varies per reason. Uhe the data, umembu your audience requirement.


Make the change of image reference clear. Transition into the pie chart with a proper introduction. Another C + C mistake.

* Contact me privately for individual scoring services.

Writing Feedback / The benefits of social skills and qualification skills to the company [2]


The phrase still refers to the original key phrase. LR scores are only increased by your alternate word references such as:

- People skills
- Pleasing character
- team players

Regardless, you have an excellent alternative response and thesis statement at the end. You established an interesting response statement.

That said, you used a comparative discussion in a single opinion essay. The idea is to convince the examiner that your opinion is valid based upon 2 defense points, discussed over 2 paragraphs. When you do not see the " compare/ discuss both views " instruction, you do not compare the 2 opinions. The reference to "or" in the instruction indicates a single opinion choice.

You don't get any scoring advantage for your first reasoning paragraph because it does not support your opinion. Athough the second paragraph illustrates your opinion, the discussion will still be seen as underdeveloped due to the 1 missing supporting paragraph. Additionally, your TA score based on clarity of opinion will be directly affected by the misplaced comparison paragraph.

Writing Feedback / Different types of activities in the American senior citizens' leisure time from 1980s to 2010s [3]

The essay definitely lacks more comparison discussions and analytical presentations as it fails to meet the necessary 250 word count. At only 206 words written, your essay starts off with a TA failing score based on word deductions.

The essay does not read like you even tried to study the image. The writing is rushed and fails to properly present an academic understanding of the image. You merely scanned and wrote. You failed to properly grasp the importance of the report. This was written without proper consideration of the reading audience.

You did not properly space the paragraphs, making it hard to decipher if this is a 3 or 4 paragraph presentation.

* Limited review due to lack of image upload.

Writing Feedback / Popularity of fish and three kinds of meat including lamb, beef and chicken in a European country [2]

[


Make this sound more professional. You could say; "The line chart shows the comparative consumption..." to indicate the chart purpose in a more academic manner.


Really now, this is such a simple spelling error and word reference mistake that it clearly shows a lack of LR review prior to submission. Deductions will follow.


higher or lower? Compare throughout for comparative relevance.

In the last paragraph, you must place pauses in the first sentence reference. Either present it as 2 seperate sentences or, place a comma seperator between the topics. That is necessary to help the reader better understand the data provided. Otherwise, you lose GRA points for a run-on sentence. You need more punctuation marks in that section. Which to use is up to you.

Focus your reviews on the following:
- Proper punctuation usage
- sentence structure development in reference to simple and compound sentences
- spend time editing and proofreading next time.

Writing Feedback / In many cities more and more people are living alone. Is this a positive or negative trend? [3]

The essay will not get a passing score due to an unrelated discussion presentation. The focus of the topic should be on people living alone. You are discussing people who choose to have their own family. a person with a family is not living alone. Your reference topic and discussion approach are unacceptable due to its irrelevance and lack of proper connection to the original topic.

This is another example of how a long essay is useless when the presentation is incorrect. You will fail because you did not provide the correct discussion presentation. It is unrelated to the topic. Once the TA score fails, there is no recovering from it to pass the test.

Since these are practice essays , ask for explanations if you are uncertain about the discussion approach. That is how you learn how to properly respond to the questions.

Writing Feedback / Learning about the past IELTS task 2 [2]


There is no collosal issue being presented. Merely a difference of belieffs. You are trying to use a phrase I taught you. That is good. The bad, is that you used it improperly. / There is no "bug" reference in the prompt. Thus, indicating that you misunderstood the topic being presented.

Tip: Do not just use newly learned phrases for the sake of using it. It must be referred to in the proper context otherwise, it doesn't help your score.


This is a repeat of the instructions, not a thesis reference. What is your opinion ? Do not explain the importance of history. Rather, support one of the 2 given reasons with a personal reason. Rather, explain how history establishes an understanding of the present or, why history is an irrelevant refence to present times. Nobody asked you to explain why history is important. Do not change the prompt requirements . An unrelated discussion will automatically get you a failing score.

You portray your explanation solely from your personal view. The 3 discussion points must refer to explanations of the previous 2 groups before your own. You also only explain the importance of history. You do not make reference to the major discussion points provided The essay can and will fail since you did not follow the discussion requirements. Your discussion format is improper and doesn't follow the required format.


There is a doubt based on the given presentation. You are really failing bigtime with this essay. There are 2 beliefs because of the doubts about the importance of history.

You clearly have English comprehension skill issues that can only be addressed by more comprehension exercises prior to more essay response practices.

Writing Feedback / A breakdown of male and female inhabitants passing the driving test in a particular Asian nation [2]


It would be better for your LR score ilt you use the phrase " in no particular Asian nation " instead. When you say "in particular" that connotes the naming of a nation, which you cannot do since it was not provided. Saying "no particular" avoids the need to name a specific country.


This reference is too general. It can refer to any year coverage. Refer to the specific years to help clearly inform the reader.


This is a redundancy since patently already means obviously. Do not repeat your word usage. Your synonym usage did that in this sentence.


A period refers to successive, not selective years. This should say :

... period ranging from 1980 to 2000...

to clearly refer to a time progression. Improper sentence formation blurrs your info clarity.

Specific areas for review and improvement:
1. Grammar range and sentence structuring
2. Vocabulary and synonym usage

Your analysis is acceptable but could be shorter. A single image reference should be no more than 7 paragraphs long.

* Kindly contact me privately for comprehensive scoring services.

Writing Feedback / Traditional newspapers are believed to hold the most vital position among news readers [3]


The original presentation is not assuming this as a fact. You should not do so either. Omit the phrase" fact that" and this statement will be more aligned with the original.


Use a measured response only in an extent essay. This is a mere and simple agrer or disagree presentation.

Good work on your thesis presentation you clearly offer a clue as to the reasoning paragraphs topics and direction.

Your reasoning paragraphs should not be comparative in nature. The instructions for discussion are not comparative in nature, only a single opinion consideration. The discussion should only focus upon how valid the reasons for your opinion are. you must disprove the importance of newspapers as a traditional news source twice. Using different reasons each time.

You will not receive a score for the unrelated opinion discussion and will receive word count deductions for falling under the minimum word count. You could very well fail the test because of the inclusion of the unrelated paragraph.

Writing Feedback / Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? Any solutions? [5]


This is not a debated topic. it is referred to as a factual topic in the prompt. Address it as such in the restatement without an attestation. Something along the lines of:

Student harrasment is now considered a collosal issue in academic institutions.
This is a clear restatement of the topic that uses O keywords from the original. such a sentence increases the L.R.score.


Where there are direct questions, direct responses must be provided to create a proper and clear thesis outline for your reasoning paragraphs. Indicate the discussion topics in relation to the 2 questions. repeating the questions without clear responses does not meet TA scoring requirements in relation to discussion clarity.


There is no sense in using a long-winded opening sentence when your score is better increased by using a topic sentence instead. Your actual response does not stout till the second sentence, which is the C + C scoring consideration sentence.


Fast paced what? This is incomplete and lacks understandability in reference to the parents activities.


There is no other hand because this is not a causes paragraphs but a solutions paragraph. These are now 2 seperate discussion ideas that cannot use a comparison transition reference phrase.

Writing Feedback / Many think that artificially intelligence robots will do all jobs eventually. Do you agree or not? [2]


This is an opinion essay. It is not an extent response writing task. Your answer is not in the correct format. A more apt presentation would have been:

It is my opinion that there is a limitation to robotic intelligence that limits its ability to do all human tasks. This is because humans program the AI abilities and man will not program robots to do all his jobs the human workforce will lose their jobs in the process.

There are 3 accomplishments in the above presentation:

1. Delivery of a personal opinion ( there is a limitation )
2. Reason for opinion ( robotic intelligence is limited in ability to do human tasks )
3. Thesis statement (humans program the AI abilities , man programs the A I, he will not teach a robot to do all his jobs, human workforce will lose their jobs in the process.)

From that presentation, I clearly address all the TA requirements for a clear and discussion related opinion. Your presentation fails to properly address the task. My thesis statement coherently outlines 3 cohesive reasoning topics for the 2 body paragraphs. This is a sample of a correct response to this task with an easy to follow discussion outline.

Writing Feedback / The budgets should be centered on illness prevention services by fostering a healthy lifestyle [2]


When you say"to a certain extent ", that indicates a limitation to your agreement. While saying " I totally agree" refers to an unlimited support to a particular point of view. Your sentence presentation is therefore confusing and lacking in a clear opinion presentation.



Whether - conjunction; used to introduce the first of two or more alternatives
When - adverb; at the time or in the event that
You are not making a reference to an alternative in this sentence. The word when is more aligned with the meaning you wish to convey.


mobility - noun; the quality of being mobile.
morbidity - noun; the proportion of sickness or of a specific disease in a geographical locality.
You are using words without knowing the correct reference to the meaning. At this rate you may already get a failing L. R. score. Be sure of the word tobe used and meaning prior to usage.

These are repeated errors throughout the essay. The writing mistakes that you have in this essay are all consistent with TA, L.R., C + C, and GRA deductions. You may not get a satisfactory score in the end.

Writing Feedback / The bar chart compares the number of crimes in five different countries of the world (1930-1980) [2]

A properly analyzed task 1 essay must be completed within 20 minutes and between 175 - 200 words. Though there won't be deductions applied for writing more words, I am afraid that such a practice results in more scoring errors for the student. That is because your focus moves from the proper TA, L R, C + C, and GRA scoring guidelines to merely writing as much words as possible. Quality writing is more important than word count because you are scored on the former and not the latter.

Here is an example of your L.R. mistake:


Word usage error based on improper vocabulary /word meaning.

Crimes - noun; an action or an instance of negligence that is deemed injurious to the public welfare or morals or to the interests of the state and that is legally prohibited. Root word: Crime (singular )

Criminal - noun ; a person guilty or convicted of a crime. Criminals (plural)
Based on the word definitions alone, you can already tell what and how you made the mistake. This is why you should with just the right number of words, to ensure you can check for, and correct score related errors.


GRA error in relation to punctuation usage. You do not need to use an apostrophe in this word. It signifies the plural form and ownership without that mark. Review punctuation usage rules.

As for your TA issues:


Which are ? Summarise the countries listing for an accurate TA consideration.


Indicate the measurement used which is by the thousands


Ending in what year? complete the half century reference data.

The report is acceptable but the number of mistakes in it are not. The number of avoidable errors could prevent the awarding of a passing score. It is about information clarity based on scoring guidelines. Not just the word count.

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing: the most common mistakes that students make when translating Vietnamese into English [2]


You should have included a clear reference to the fact that the info is based on collated opinion survey information that received 14 responses. When information is highlighted in the image, it should be part of the summary presentation.


Incorrect. There is no period being referred to, only percentage measurements.


Do not include a personal opinion or observation in a Task 1 report. It is not a requirement and will not help your score as it will be ignored by the examiner due to irrelevance to the discussion.

The presentation format itself is incorrect. Use the following format next time:

Par. 1- Summary + trending statement
Par. 2 - General report with comparisons
Par. 3- Analysis of chosen comparison points + closing statement (not an opinion)

When faced with 2 images, add another analysis paragraph for both images. That is optional though.