Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: EDUCATION-TEACHERS (both views and opinion) [2]


You are the author right? Why are you referring to yourself in 3rd person when your opinion should be directly provided in first person pronoun style? You should not be restating the discussion instructions at this point since you previously stated it already. Your direct opinion is all that was required in this paragraph.


2 errors here. First, being your personal opinion presentation, this needs to be as fully reasoned and explained as the first 2 discussion points. It needs its own paragraph presentation. second, you cannot convince the reader of your opinion if you do not wholly support your point of view. You are given a TA score based on opinion clarity. This phrase does the exact opposite, showing your uncertain support for your belief /opinion. It will drag down your TA score. With regards to the L R error, it is teachers not teaches. p roof read for errors and correct them to avoid score deductions.

Writing Feedback / Should countries around the world establish close connections regarding culture and business? [2]

You need to better reference your restatement of the 2 ideas that were provided. Long sentences such as these lack clarity and are difficult for the reader to follow. Where 2 topics are provided, use 2 seperate sentences to allow for a better understanding of the written text. One for each idea. As for your agreement with the latter view, an establishment of your supporting reason /s is /are necessary for a strong thesis presentation.


This is not relevant to the business and cultural contacts discussion. You need to further expand the discussion to create a connection or use a simple and easily relevant example instead.


You immediately jumped to your personal opinion, avoiding a paragraph explaining the public point of view regarding national identity You will only receive a partial score due to an incomplete discussion presentation. This may pull your score down to a failing level.

Writing Feedback / Write a paragraph (110 - 150 words) about what job would you like to choose in the future. [2]

You do not really prove that your father's occupation and your exposure to it influenced you to become a teacher. You speak of your ambition in a nonchalant manner. There is no real interest development or enthusiasm for the job. It is almost as if you just researched information about the job and required training the wrote about it. The writing is boring and you appear distanced from the work choice. As if you were influenced in your decision and told what to write. This is not a convincing statement at all. It is empty in terms of a personal connection with you. It does not appear to be your true occupational calling in life.

Writing Feedback / It is said that children are able to get their goals if they try their best to do it [2]

The first 2 sentences in your restatement paragraph do not reflect a version of the original. Rather, it is an unwarranted personal opinion that will affect your TA score negatively. If the info is not part of the original prompt, it will cause scaring deductions due to improper topic representation. This is a comprehension evil.


This is not the same as a cultural point of view. Refer instead to traditional beliefs. This highlights improper LR usage and lack of English comprehension skills.


Refer directly to you topics for the A/D paragraphs. Don't just repeat the discussion instruction. Create a basis for it in relation to comprehension needs in the score.



Use direct references to the discussion to establish the correct paragraph target in relation to cohesivenesss and clarity. for example:

Par. 2 - A noticeable advantage is...
Par. 3 - However, this may also be deemed a disadvantage owing to ...

That is the type of paragraph cohesion and cohrence that you should be aiming for in this essay.

In the conclusion you failed to refer back to the cultural belief in relation to the summarized reasons which, are not clearly related to the original prompt. This is another presentation error. This is actually one of the main negatives in your presentation. You refer to social pressure, which is a totally different topic from cultural beliefs. I doubt this essay will pass due to the prompt deviation.

Writing Feedback / People being monitored are often unaware that this is happening - what you think about this? [2]


No such word. The word is simply "unaware", specially when describing an ongoing action.


Wrong word usage. Neglected means to pay no attention or too little attention to; disregard or slight. Rather their privacy is violated, surveilled, spied on, to name but a fun proper synonyms for what you are trying to say.

* LR problem is evident. Vocabulary familiarity should be improved.



Improper discussion format ' English comprehension skills are failing in terms of understanding the writing instruction :


You wrote a comparative essay for a single opinion presentation. Agreement with both sides is not an option. Either you fully support and explain the advantages or disadvantages. There is no comparison cue (discuss both paints of view) in the instruction so it is a singular belief explanation essay.

* Contact me privately for premium review services which are inclusive of scoring.

Writing Feedback / Some people argue job satisfaction is more important than job security. [3]

There are 2 reasons why this essay cannot get a passing score :

1. Lack of word count. The minimum scorable essay is 250 words. You only completed the task at 232 words. You may write 250-300 words.
2. Lack of proper discussion based on the required presentation format.

The presentation format is:
Par. 1 - Paraphrase + personal opinion
Par. 2 - 1st public opinion explanation + Example
Par. 3 - 2nd public opinion + Example
Par. 4 - Personal opinion + Example
Par. 5 - Summary of discussion

Your current presentation focuses solely on your personal opinion of the 2 points of view, creating a solely personal - presentation rather than the required comparative analysis + Personal opinion essay. You have to discuss from a public perspective first because of the key phrases " some people " and " Others believe " before the phrase " give your own opinion ". Hence the 3 discussion paragraph requirement.

Writing Feedback / Task 2: It is argued that newspapers are an optimal way to learn news - what's your opinion? [2]

I cannot accurately review your paper as you wrote less than the 250 word requirement. Presenting an examiner with only 218 words will result in an appropriate word percentage deduction. When you get large preliminary deductions based on the word count, the end result is always anon-passing essay because of other scoring deductions being added up for your overall score.

Is this appears to be your first attempt at writing a task 2 essay, I will give you a chance to write a proper length essay before I review it. That way I can get an accurate picture of your English comprehension skills, grammar usage knowledge, and other writing abilities. Can you do that for me? You won't reget it

Writing Feedback / Some people believe that adverts are conducive to economic development, but others disagree [3]


Be clear. The rate of unemployment in the advertising industry . Their rate of unemployment will have little effect on the national unemployment rate, which is implied in this section All the information you have must be related to and on topic.


Rather than besides, increase your C + C by relating the previous sentence to the nest. For, instance you can,connect these by saying

Advertising clearly affects the economy by employing thousands of people in advertising agencies, commercial production houses, and other related industries. In turn, it lowers ...


Remove the phrase of uncertainty as the opinion writethe clarityof your point of view must never be suspect. Be definite in your opinion development and presentation.


Unnecessary word filler. Since you have only 40 minutes to write this task, always be precise and subjective in every sentence, focus on discussion clarity rather than phrase pauses that don't help move the opinion presentation forward.


Your opinion as it is, needs to be developed as a seperate paragraph. Remember the format requirement is 2 paragraphs for each general opinion then, a thorough insight into your opinion The conclusion should only state a recap of the 3 reasoning sentences. In this case, your improper personal opinion placement will cancel out the scoring contribution it could have made to your essay.

Writing Feedback / Computers are believed to be smarter than humans by several scientists in no time [5]


This sentence does not make sense. The reference point in the original is " will soon become intelligent ". That please cannot be translated into a slang (non- academic) phrase, " in no time". You are also using a past time reference ( believed) for something happening at present time. These 2 confusing presentations in one sentence will confuse the leader no end.


Your perspective is not based on an extent response. Hence a failing TA score due to an improper response format.



Topic deviation. The question is not about robots replacing humans, it is about robot intelligence surpassing human intellect.

The overall response does not refer to the provided discussion . It is possible that your essay will have an unsatisfactory score because of your discussion misconception.

Writing Feedback / It is believed that money is the key to happiness. One can still feel happy regardless of being rich [2]


Name 2 specific factors as required by the 2nd direct question. Your response to each question must stand alone in a sentence for clarity and response seperation purposes. Your combined presentation misses on the C + C mark. Prove your topic outline relates to the topic and discussion requirements. Do not use vague answers as those neglect to help your score increase based on the scoring guides.

You need not explain why and how money brings happiness. That was not part of the discussion questions provided in the original prompt.you made a punctuation mistake when you retyped the topic,which led to the irrelevant discussion paragh. This then led you to not respond to the first and second questions properly. The result? An inadequate response that may result in a failed essay due to 2 reasons:

1. An irrelevant topic discussion
2. Failure to meet the 250 word requirement due to the word deduction caused by the incorrectly presented paragraph.

You failed because you neglected to review you developed discussion against the guide questions. You did not realize your discussion was not on point due to lack of proofreading.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - SAVING ANIMAL SPECIES [4]


This creates an unclear opinion. Read the question again. It asks you to pick one side to defend in your discussion. The instruction provided does not allow for a comparative discussion. Your TA score,and the whole essay for that matter, will be prone to a failing mark due to lack of opinion quality. The other error your essay shows is an incorrect response format. Your extent response is invalid as there is no clear opinion and your are depending both sides instead of a single opinion. Which side do you really support and why? Right now, you don't have a true opinion along the required lines.

It is highly obvious that you are unfamiliar with the discussion requirements. You must read more examples of various writing formats before you write another practice essay. That will help you avoid incorrect response statements and incorrect discussion formats.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2_SELF-DRIVING SYSTEMS FOR VEHICLES [3]

You are not discussing the prompt requirement as indicated. You are discussing old and new tech comparisons as opposed to the safety considerations intailed in the use of automated cars. Issues to be considered are on-board computer failures, technology hijacking in driverless cars that cause drivers to lose control of steering direction, and lack of actual driver attention to road conditions when compared to simple automatic cars with a simple on-board computer system.

The above topics should have been used in your first reasoning discussion paragraph. your second paragraph is well developed and discussed. You clearly understand the advantages which led to the effective discussion. The conclusion though, could have been better presented. Rather than 1 long compressed sentence, use up to 5 sentences to properly segment or divide the discussion summary points.

Writing Feedback / With increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up [2]


For TA opinion scoring purposes, try to be more specific. Based on this writing, the clearer option would be similar to:

I find this reasonable to the extent that it relates to or affects (state the opinion reasons, at least 2)

The reference sample above implies the actual extent based on facts rather than emotional measurement. Factual measurement is just as acceptable and sometimes, better scoring than an emotional measurement response when it comes to a TA appropriate opinion and C+ C preliminary scoring.


This is not a very good transition phrase.you need a phrase that better relates the previous discussions with the final discussion topic. This is good and acceptable but could be better. Say something like:

Considering (topic1 and 2), one can deduce /understand why...

Your discussions are sound but need to be better connected in the paragraphs. Look out for the word count too . You only have 40 minutes for the task. Make sure you do not over discuss / write your essay. You might set yourself up for scoring mistakes that way.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 2 : Gyms and Sports clubs [3]

The first sentence is an incorrect prompt restatement. You did not make reference to employers being the source of the 2 opinions. seperate the opinion references into individual sentences and use proper word equivalents for the word " employer". Your version uses a general s source which is different from the direct soauces provided in the original.

Your discussion does not take into account the required third person business owner reasoning presentation for each point of vlew. Rather than providing a clear comparison per business sector opinions, you are using a general personal reference point. The public comparison target based on 3 points of comparison ( pro, con, personal) disappeared.

Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1 : The line graph shows the percentage of New Zealand population from 1950 to 2050 [4]


A reference to decade on decade comparison s as shown in the chart gap years would have been a better way of putting the data into the summary form. A reference to the measurement type is also a good piece of information toinclude as a part of the information source / measurement particulars.

Your discussion based on a 40 year gap seems to wide and skips over important comparison points. I would like to specifically call your attention to the year 2000 when there is an overlapping measurement for 0 -14 and 25-37. That is highlight that should have been analyzed for the "analyze and make comparisons where relevant " part of the report.

Writing Feedback / The role of computers and teachers in education [2]


Be specific about the areas where computers matter more. There is a direct qquestion provided ffor which a direct response is required to fulfill the thesis statement and clear opinion Task scoring requirement. This sentence does not help your score in this section.

[quote=amietran]Since time immemorial,[/quote]
Memorized phrase used in the wrong context. Just use a direct topic sentence for clarity oand better discussion point reference in relation to C + C.


Really, stop with the word fillers that have no scoring value.


This is a prompt deviation which will not be scored and instead will reduce your word count and quite possibly result in a failed essay. This paragraph clearly shows that you did not fully understand the discussion topic and instruction.

Writing Feedback / Despite cars damage the environment, their manufacture and their use continue to increase [2]


Respond directly to the 2 questions to help outline you reasoning paragraphs. In 2 sentences, give your subject response for:

1. Why is this?
2. How could this be controlled?

Your topic outline will prove how well you understood the task discussion requirements in relation to the restated topic.

[quote=duyenb1602679]To begin with, there are several plausible reasons are leading to this situation.[/quote]
Avoid the use of sentence fillers like these. While these help you meet the word count, there sentences do not apply themselves to any scoring sections. These do not help increase your sectional and overall score.


Incorect word usage. The previous scenario is singular so the singular of results (result) should be referred to. Review your S v p lessons.


This is an incorrect sentence. Here, you are saying the government should be taxed instead of the people for purchasing cars. The latter is what you meant. You are scored on though clarity based on sentence presentation. Be very careful. You score down in the GRA section for sentences like these.

Writing Feedback / How to write a comparison essay about shopping online and shopping at stores [2]


These are rhetorical questions that you don't really addless in the rest of the writing. so keep your writing on target, use only related questions that you will certainly discuss for this essay, the questions should have related to the 3 main differences instead.


You need to GO there

Come - verb; to approach or move toward a particular person or place: Come here.

Go - verb; the act of going, You need to go there.


You cannot go shopping via app at work. If caught, you will get fired from your job.


Improper grammar. Lack of vocabulary definition familiarity. the phase does not make sense.
Creates A CONSIDERABLE change


Unnecessary sentence. This already clear as a marked difference in the paragraph.

Writing Feedback / With the help of advanced technology, the qualities of people's life has improve. However... [2]

Your prompt restatement is highly confusing to understand. Only a single prompt was provided for this writing but, you are responding in 3 different ways. Responses based on varying prompts make this paragraph impossible to understand. Is it:

- I agree that technology has a bad effect (direct response to agree or disagree)
- but if used properly ( discuss both points of view and give your opinion )
- advantages outweigh the downsides ( Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? )

As you can see, the reader shall be confused by your writing. You deviated from the undisclosed original topic several times. Which is the real prompt you are responding to ? This unclear opinion and TA approach will have a failing effect on your score.

Writing Feedback / WRINGTING TAKS 2 - NATURAL TALENT OR BEING TAUGHT? [3]


Use word replacements for these keywords. You should avoid using the same words as the original in your interpretation.


Wrong spelling - achieved (correct spelling), LR deduction.


Tell me what your ultimate stand point is for your personal thesis statement. Be direct. Repeating the instructions does not help direct the discussion in a clear way. Accomplish 3 things in relation to the TA:

- Restate 2 public points of view (2 accomplishments )
- state your point of view in relation to the discussion.

Okay, you explained both points of view in a general manner. Where is your personal - paragraph that represents the third discussion requirement? I don't read a reference to it. Expect your score to be non-passing due to the missing 3rd discussion element.Additionally, the 2nd public opinion lacks development when compared to the 1st. Always discuss the public opinions evenly.

Grammar, Usage / What household chores do you usually do ? [2]

I am not sure about how I can help you. You did not give any writing instructions to give us an idea of what help you need. I think you mentioned enough chores here but you did not explain why you have to do the chores. Surely your parents ask you to help with tasks for a reason. you can explain those to lengthen your response. It isn't like the topic is hard to discuss. a word of unsolicited caution though, don't say you don't like doing household chores. That isn't going to help you pass the assignment. Now, if you want me to write the essay for you, contact me privately about my writing services.

Writing Feedback / The chart illustrates the figures of five cities in Australia in terms of the habit of the citizen [2]


Do not just copy the image definition from the instruction. That is how you end up mis-identifying the image. You have to be more definitive than that. It is a series of bar charter. Not just a bar chart, which is singular in description while the image refers to a plural reference. By the way, you forgot to specify the cities as indicated in the measurement chart.


You need a comma here to show a related, but different topic transition.

You did a good job of analyzing and comparing the given data. the statements are directly analytical without going overboard. It is clear enough to the reader although, a few additional punctuation marks such as a comma or period may have helped to increase reference clarity.

Writing Feedback / The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country [2]


Wasn't the country specifically mentioned?


This is good. It can be improved further by adding a number of years or decades + years reference to create a comprehensive analysis.


Expenditure refers to money spent. That is not the same as consumed wwhich refers to food or goods used without renewal. This is an LR problem.


Please make up your mind. Was the food bought or eaten? Edit your summary accordingly.

Your essay lacks clarity and coherence. You cannot decide if this about money spent or food eaten. This confusion will bring you railing GRA and C + C scores. Your essay will not get a passing mark.

* Limited iview due to lack of image.

Writing Feedback / Writing task1, Expected city visits by country of origin for 2018 [3]


You are not making any reference to the number of bars. The number of bars relate to specific countries as you indicated in the summary. Always summarize related data collectively.


Use the real numerical reference-100,000 or 100 K.


That is an actual, not predicted figure since it had already been established in 2018.

Your presentation just encountered some summary issues due to a little developed summary. This is related to a lack of draft and outline development. While the paragraphs are informative enough, the analysis could use more comparison points. Varied punctuation and numerical presentations would have also brought you a better GRA score.

Writing Feedback / The line graph illustrates the percentage of people who owned cars in Britain [2]


Upload the image next time. you are currently in violation of forum rules regarding image access. You have been warned. A user ban will be next if you continue to violate forum rules.


Inclusive of? Summarize the dates and other information. This paragraph is incomplete and lacking information. There is more information than this highlight in the image. How was the graph divided ? Into what groups?

What was the best trend reference?

Your paragraphs are not showing a proper and complete analysis. That is done using 3-5 sentence ppresentations per paragraph.

* Limited review provided due to lack of image as a reference point.

Speeches / Greetings from the President [2]


Ancestors did enjoy the group but, didn't they found/establish the group before enjoying it? Maybe you would like to change the word reference?


Since some of your audien e may not be familiat with the sport, you should explqin tge history and method of gameplay for those concerned. Some Koreans may not be familiar with it either.


For what reason? Explain the importance of this reference.


How does it relate? What is the global importance or contribution?


What is the global plan? The speech has too many loopholes that need to be addressed.

Limited review due to editing requirements of the text. Contact me privately. Thanks.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - Compare two maps - development in the layout of a university campus [3]


Indicate the present year instead to refer to present day. That creates a clear reference to the data in the prompt and shows tou know how to use alternate refetences properly.


You summarized the trend well enough to show you analyzed and compared the images.


Incorrect word usage. The correct term is previously as you are referring to the old image. This lacks reference clarity.


Wrong word usage. Say replaced instead. Though eradicated means removed, it is not the same in meaning as replaced.

Your essay has problems with vocabulary usage and clarity due to incorrect vocabulary presentation. Work on properly building your vocabulary.


You violated forum rules by not uploading the image and forcing the educational consultant to access an exterior link. Last warning before account ban !

* Limited review due to lack of image.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: should government encourage some businesses to move from cities to rural areas? [3]

Your first paragraph sentence does not make any sense as a topic restatement. It is confusing for an ENL to read as there is no way to understand the meaning of the sentence. Keep it simple. Don't just use advanced words that do not apply to the presentation. You will get a failing mark when your essay has no sense of logic and understanding.


These are not the same as rural areas, also known as provinces, regions, prefectures...


What reference point led to this opinion? Lead into this with a starting reference from the original discussion. This is another sentence that lacks clarity.


At least you have solid and clear thesis statement references. Good job!

You tend to focus more on vocabulary usage and word count rather than clear content writing and everyday English word usage. You do not score better when writing wordy essays that do not apply itself to a simple writing task. This is just an opinion paper, not a thesis or dissertation meant for peer review. Concentrate on making the reader understand a simple opinion based on simple reasons. That is how you get a better overall score. Your current presentation has so many errors ranging from TA to GRA that I am not confident about your final score.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 about the trend of buying things from famous brands [2]


Wrong reference term. The brand is connected with the manufacturer (correct term), not the business.


The requirement for this section relates tothe direct questions. These questions guide you in writing the topic paragraphs. Respond with direct answers, then expand the explanations in the essay. Use the questions to help make your paragraphs more discussion efficient.


Answer directly, you see this as a negative development. Use the question format for your response. Do not use response reference words that can alter the prompt such as drawbacks.

You have way too many reasons presented but not enough discussion development. So, the explanations do not really exist in a manner applicable to C + C requirements. 2 related reasons, based on a solid example utilizing the reasons would have been the more appropriate presentation based on scoring requirements for that question.

You did not respond to the question. This isn't a benefits or drawbacks discussion, that is a different prompt type. This is a negative or positive development discussion. While you provided a response, not all of it is related to the discussion instruction. You might not pass the test based on the failed scoring parts of this presentation.

Writing Feedback / Writingtask2: Society could not function if there were no rules and laws, agree or disagree. [2]


Based on what reasons? An opinion presentation is never complete without one or two supporting reasons. If you opt to use one reason, you can use that for a reasoning paragraph, then, write an example paragraph to better support your reason since the discussion needs a reason or reasons and a well developed example for TA and C + C scores.


You only gave one reason but provided several examples. Brush upon your Plural V. Singular word usage guidelines.

Personally, I believe this essay would have worked better if you placed the example in a stand alone paragraph because it is a very strong presentation that warrants a stand alone presentation. While your second reason would have made your first reasoning paragraph highly developed and consistent with a higher than average C + C score.

The conclusion could have delivered a better summary if you used a 3 sentence presentation that actually wrapped-up the discussion as opposed to this information lacking short sentence. That would definitely have been an added score boost.

Writing Feedback / Discuss wealthy or developing nations should provide financial support to poorer countries [2]


Don't tell me how you will write the essay. Tell me what you will write about and why. You already restated the two opinions, all that is left is your opinion statement. That would complete the thesis paragraph presentation as required You don't need to explain what you will write about. The reader should be able to understand the writing instructions based on the paragraph flow/presentation. That is how an academic s paper, which this is, should be written.


This is your personal opinion. The required 3rd paragraph in this 5 paragraph format essay. As you placed it improperly in the concluding portion, you failed to properly develop your explanation as you did the first 2 public opinions. Your discussion is incomplete and cannot receive full scoring marks for the TA section.Your concluding paragraph also misses the mark as you do not present a comprehensive summary of the discussion points you presented based on the original topic reference.

That said, you did an acceptable job of discussing the public opinions and reasons why each side has a valid reason for each belief.

Writing Feedback / The graph indicates the number of Canadian using several social networking sites in 2014 and 2015 [2]

This is a 20 minute writing task. Expert writing educators who have timed the drafting and final editing process all agree that the number of editable words for this task is 175-200 words. Writing more than that leads the writer to GRA and C + C errors, as evidenced by the errors in your presentation.

In the summary overview, you failed to accurately identify the image beyond its general/generic identifier. This prevents the reader from creating a proper and clear mental picture. This becomes an issue, specially when their is no image attached to your report. The information provided does not offer a proper run-down of the available and highlighted information from the image either. This is not auseful summary overview.

It is difficult to review your essay beyond this part as you have not uploaded the image for comparison purposes.

Writing Feedback / The pie chart illustrate what seniors in Beaufort, Westmont and Whitford High School invested on [3]



Your image reference is incorrect. Assuming that the reader can see the images provided, it will be clear to him that your statement is misleading for 2 reasons:

- There are 3 images presented instead of one.
- The chart is not properly identified. It is a pie chart, not just a chart.

Your preliminary information is inaccurate. The trending statement is good enough to clarify any potential missing information though. Good presentation save.

The actual report is one of the better presentations I have read here. Your report is creative in terms of related C + C and GRA presentations. It avoids any LR issues and in pretty much clear to the reader in terms of specific C + C requirements. The only real problem I see is in the TA section in relation to image identification and number of images.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 2_tourism could endanger local inhabitant and environment [3]


This is practically a complete cut and paste of the original prompt. She section is evidence that you can only write in memorized or copied phrases. This will contribute to a failing TA score.


No time reference is made in the original prompt. This misinforms the reader and changes the original information. Do not include unsupported information.


Improper word use. Damage indicates ongoing action. Happening or continuing to happen in present time. Damaged means the action has ended. It is in the past.LR and GRA reductions apply.


To what extent ? Deliver the response based on the prompt format. Failure to do so will add to your TA reduction based on improper response format.


Incomplete thesis statement. Summarize the 2 supporting reasons as the end sentence/s for this paragraph to increase your C + C baseline score.


Relate this to and use the word travel in reference to it for sentence clarity.


Improper word usage. Trash is both the singular and plural form of the word. GRA deductions apply.


Correct word is "belief" which means ; an opinion or conviction. LR issue.


Should be using the plural form for both words ( societies identities) as every nation has several local cultures/ identities to refer to. LR and GRA related errors.


Good but incomplete summary. you need to repeat your extent opinion here as the closing sentence.

Writing Feedback / The following maps show some of the changes that have taken place in Dubai in recent decades. [3]


Why did you capitalize this sentence? This should be typed using regular fonts. Did you mean to use this as a title? That is not required in any IELTS writing task. next time, write naturally.

Your paragraphs need to be uniform in length. Anywhere from 3-5 sentences (maximum). Describe the first 5 years in paragraph 2, then the most recent 5 years in paragraph 3. As this is a report essay instead of an opinion presentation, you need not present a summary at the end. That is a task 2 requirement.

* Limited review provided due to lack of image. Kindly provide the image next time.

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: COMPULSORY TAX PAYMENT (agree or disagree) [2]


So you totally agree? You did not frame your response in an extent manner so you did not fully meet the response format requirement.


I found this in your concluding paragraph. As per TA question and answer format requirements, this must be presented as your direct question response in the first paragraph. That is where it applies itself the most to your scoring needs based on clarity of opinion considerations.


Incorrect reference. The essay speaks of taxes on national and local levels. There are no global taxes on individuals that would affect world peace. You could refer to national or community peace instead.

* Limited review. Contact me privately for band scoring services.

Writing Feedback / Critical review: Education technology and the future of the classroom [2]


Based on what thesis? What were the discussion topics you believed to be valid? How Was his article developed?


Use the author's last name since he is not a personal acquaintance of yours. show respect for the author.


Based on what theme? How is that relevant to his article/ research paper?

[quote=Thuymac]didn't[/quote]
This is an academic paper, do not use contractions, use both words and spell it out.


Why? Use supporting evidence and review these critically.


Because? Explain the reasons based on changing times.

The presentation is more of an incomplete summary rather than a critical review. In fact, it is too short to be considered one. There are no contradictions, questions, or critical discussions provided in your presentation.

Writing Feedback / There is an opinion that social networking sites have an adverse effect on people and the community [2]


This does not offer clear supporting reasons for your opinion. Try to offer a summary of your discussion topics to help create a clear discussion oulline for your essay. That way, the reviewer can asses if your reasons are relevant to your opinion. 2 supporting reasons representing 2 body paragraphs will be sufficient in accomplishing this task. Excellent work on the measured response by the way.


LR and GRA error:

for - Preposition; with the object or purpose of

of - Preposition; used to indicate cause, motive, occasion, or reason

You are referring to the latter so :

... become slaves OF the...


Due specific C + C requirements, mention safety / physical, and mental heaeth hazards. The sentence needs a clear connecting reference for the previous discussions.


This reference needs supporting explanations. You presentation in this section requires increased explanations and shorter, more related examples.


You forgot toinclude your extent restatement in the summary.


summarize the reasons in relation to this. You are trying to present a reverse paraphrase to assist in TA scoring increase.

Writing Feedback / The number of female and male teachers working in different forms of education setting in UK in 2010 [2]

You need to learn how to do several things before you can actually begin to show improvement in your writing:

- Familiarize yourself with English grammar rules in relation to writing. Specifically in relation to singular V. plural word usage
- Learn what a sentence subject is, why it is important to sentence writing, how to properly place it in a sentence.
- Practice sentence drafting based on proper information presentation.

These are the preliminary basic lessons you need to learn in order to improve your writing skills. These are also the existing presentation problems in your current essay, which is why I am calling your attention to it.


Which are? Your summary overview is incomplete and lacks quick information references.


Serious grammar problem in relation to Singular V. Plural.
Incorrect usage of an indefinite article (an) when a conjunction (and) should be used. These errors could cause a failing GRA score.


I'm not sure what you mean. This will lower your C + C and GRA scores.

You should work on improving the areas I indicated above to help improve your writing skills and score. You are not within passing score range at the moment.

* Limited review provided due to scoring request. Contact me privately for scoring.

Writing Feedback / Some believe that sending students to working for unpaid community service should be required [2]


Ooops! You started the sentence in current time reference, then suddenly went into past reference. That is a GRA error. Be consistent with your time reference. You did a very good job in presenting your opinion and opinion reason though. So you saved your TA and C + C score in this case.


Incorrect grammar and word usage affecting your LR and GRA grade.
Corrected: ... but DEVELOP teamwork...


Over discussion. This is only a 4 paragraph essay. This paragraph will no longer help increase your score. Don't worry, no deductions will be applied since it still targets the same discussion point.

The conclusion in a bit incorrectly formatted as it represents a run-on. You are still scored on clarity and cohesiveness in this section so use at least 2 sentences to represent the summarized discussion.

You present a solid understanding of the topic and present convincing reasons. Although there will be some score deductions, you will not fail the test.