Writing Feedback / The percentage of tourist nationality in New Zealand [2]

International Visitors to New Zealand, Country of Origin, IELTS Exercise Task 1

The pie charts illustrates the percentage of tourist nationality in New Zealand. The visitors are classified into two main groups: English speaking countries and non-English speaking countries. The three top countries are English speaking countries, which are Australia, the Unites Kingdom and the United States, while China, Japan and South Korea are the lowest percentages of visitors.

In the three top countries, Australia, United Kingdom and United States have percentages above five percent. For instance, forty percent is dominated by the Australian who like to go to New Zealand, then, it follows by the United Kingdom and the United States which are

respectively twelve and nine percent.

Moreover, non-native English speaker countries have percentages below five percent, for instance, China is five percent in numbers of the travelers to New Zealand, the percentage of Japanese tourists is four percent and South Korea visitors are contributed only three percent of total visitors. In addition, there are twenty-seven percent of travelers who have other nationalities

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Writing Feedback / The climate crisis in United States - significant increase of heat [2]

Ted Talks 1 - Al Gore - a climate crisis

Ted Talks Summary:

There had been a climate crisis in United States where there was a significant increase in U.S heat from 31 degrees Fahrenheit to 39.5 degrees Fahrenheit. Abstractly, the business sector in the United States contributed from years to years that show a significantly increase the emissions until 2060. The man suggested us to contribute to reduce this United States emission contribution by reducing emission from your home energy, from your car, become a eco-friendly consumer, try to reduce the use of carbon dioxide production machines and use of carbon calculator, campaign to the government so that it becomes the system where the CEO of companies have obligation to maximize the profit through carbonless emission, raise awereness through community by promoting to each other about the essential thing of global warning. Therefore, those things can helpful to reduce the emission before the year of 2060.

Writing Feedback / Top Takeaways from presidential candidates's views on Science - Laura Parker - Articles Summary [2]

"the contenders all say they want to explore space, protect clean water, and wean America off fossil fuels."

The scientific questions are asked to presidential candidates, who give unsatisfied answers although some of them are breathtaking responses. There are twenty in total questions that are prepared by over fifty science organizations. Overall, four of the presidential participants have various explanation to answer them.

Hillary Clinton has definite and long-type answers which are mainly focus on the continuation of the existing program, for instance, "National Parks centennial year", by set up the national treasures and protect wildlife habitat across the country. Besides, Donald Trump has his point of view to look after the space exploration and mental health in which he terms it as "one of the great unfolding tragedies". In addition, Jill stein tries to promote clean energy production and Gary Johnson has not mentioned yet his answer.

Furthermore, the climate change is the main issues which covers the dependency of water supplies as well as protect the oceans topics. Donald trump believe that water complication is the crucial homework needs to be solved as soon as possible although some of the candidate disagree about it. To sum up, those answers may somehow create their own ways to gain people trust in public speeches.

Available from: URL: news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/09/science-debate-presidential-candidates-answers-trump-clinton-stein/

Writing Feedback / There are five common activities for tourist in New Zealand [2]

International Visitors to New Zealand - Reason for visit - IELTS Task 1

The bar chart shows the percentage of aim of travelers to do in New Zealand. There are five common activities of tourist in there, which are walking, sightseeing, boating, visiting volcanoes and visiting museum. Overall, people tend to outdoor activities than the indoor. Besides, there are two activities which have similar popularity to spend holiday in there.

The percentage of people who prefer to do walking are approximately ninety percent, which becomes the most popular outdoor activities. Moreover, sightseeing has approximately eighty percent who becomes the second favorable activities after walking.

On the other hand, tourist who love to hiking volcanoes and boating, are recorded equally as much as fifty percent. In fact, the least numbers of visitors who do not like to go outdoor activities, visiting museum is the better choice, which can be shown by forty percent in the chart. In another words, it also can become the second choice than visiting volcanoes and boating.

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Writing Feedback / Al Gore - how the behavior of people can effect the climate crisis? [2]

Ted Talks - Al Gore- New Thinking on the Climate Crisis- Summary

At the beginning of the talks, the speaker tried to resume the last talk about optimistic that explained about how the behavior of people can effect the climate crisis. The behavior was correlating with awareness of being part of citizens of the country, which might effect in correlation with democracy. Moreover, the power of democracy as well as the self-awareness of people might changed worldwide climate crisis.

Worlwide climate crisis should be implemented as renewable energies as well as transition to low carbon energy could change the mobilization of global warming. Furthermore, the fact of decreasing in size of Antartica showed the indicator of how the amount of money for emission could be replaced for support the poverty countries.

By using renewable energy could lead to sustain the electricity, doing the emission trading as part to replace to new resources so that there would be development in there; reforestation was done to support rural areas for better living. Those were the way of how global warming should be managed and effect worldwide.

Writing Feedback / Poverty Among Seniors has dropped - Summary Article from Times [3]

Based on latest research, census bureau released data of the older people aged 65 who live in poverty had been decreased 1.2% in 2015 from its previous record of 10% in 2014. It stated that it was a historical moment since the U.S financial crisis and Great recession.

The data also included a slightly increase of median household income about 5.2% compared to data in 2007. Moreover, the poverty rate was decreased considerably from 14.8% to 13.5 percent, which indicated the increasing in job vacancy as well as working people. On the other hand, the bureau had different result to others variables of official and supplemental data.

In 2014, the numbers of poverty rate for seniors between bureau and official reports were respectively 13.7% and 8.8%, while supplemental recorded 14.4%. This unmatched data was caused by the unspecific factors of supplemental review and official records, which tend to bias the result. Furthermore, this differences were specifically affect by several factors, for instance, health care cost data, work expenses and social security.

In health care cost, the significant differences could be barely seen between official and supplemental record, which showed that 11 million against 2.7 million people who pushed the older people towards poverty. Then, the work expenses did not push the number of seniors towards poverty as much as health care did. The social security was another important factor which caused older people to become poor, 26.6 million against 17.1 million in total.

In conclusion, the poverty among seniors has slowly dropped since 2015 as the great recession was over. In addition, many seniors still can rely from the benefit of their pension as well as their assets which accumulate since they have spent them to preserve them from poverty in these days.

Writing Feedback / Bill Gates tried to elaborate several problems that humanity is faced all over the world [2]

Ted Summary- Bill Gates - Mosquitoes, Malaria and Education

At the beginning, Bill gates tried to elaborate several problems that were faced by people all over the world, which were malaria and education as the main issues. In general, he stated that "our lifespan has gone up double and numbers of childhood died". Based on research, children died before age of 5, which proved by the significant increase of children mortality data from 1960 to 2005, about 20 million children. Malaria also was one of the causes of this problem.

He summarized the problem of malaria into a single question: "How to stop deadly diseases from mosquitoes?". The malaria was a disease which transmitted through mosquitoes, which act as vector of the disease. This only could be prevented by killing the mosquitoes and treat the diseases so that it would not spread to healthy people. Furthermore, using bed nets as well as DTD were the better ways to kill the mosquitoes that can be shown by a decrease of malaria for over 50% scientifically. In addition, quinolone as well as its derivate were known as powerful drugs to eradicates the parasites from the people who got malaria. However, the adaptation of mosquitoes should be anticipated so that the drugs as well as the prevention were effectively eradicate the disease.

Education was the other topic that he mentioned by saying "How do you make a teacher great?". Great teacher could only be implemented if the teaching system works well. Although 20% of the top class students could become successful pioneers in the future, there was still a problem in education balance for every student. The opportunity for better education only provided for high income family, while the students who came from lower income family tend to do crime after their graduation. This was proved by the higher rate of students who went to jail after they graduated from their high school.

Apart from that, there was a research about the effect of top ranks students who helped the lowest ranks of students in the class. The result showed that almost 10% of the scores of the lowest ranks could be raised after they got helped from his friends. Therefore, the education balance played important in creating teacher great.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1 Student Cambridge Books- Travelling to work in Houston, Texas [4]

The table gives information about travelers who go to Houston, Texas, while the bar chart shows the measurements of CO2 emitted by each types of transport. The data covers four types of transport: cycle/walk, bus/train, car with driver only and car with passengers.

The favorite transport used is self-drive car, which almost reaches fifty percent. Train/bus becomes the second most popular approximately forty percent, which is higher than car with passenger and cycle/walk. Furthermore, it also becomes the most famous transport among the oldest visitors who are aged forty seven years old in average. In contrast, cycle/walk are used by visitors within the younger age group around thirty nine years old. In addition, self-drive car and car with passengers are equally preferred by people with similar age approximately forty four years old.

The production of CO2 is dominated by self-drive car, which annually release 0.3 kilograms per person per kilometer. Besides, car with passengers only produce a quarter of what self-drive do. In contrast, the eco-friendly transport which produce less carbon dioxide are cycle/walk and bus/tram.

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Writing Feedback / Inside Philippine President Rodrigo Duterter's War On Drugs - Summary Articles [3]

Rodrigo Duterter said in his speech: "We will not stop until the last drug lord and the last pusher have surrendered or are put either behind bars or below the ground, if they so wish". His statement of eradicating drugs in Philippine started since he stopped to use "Shabu", which means as methamphetamine in local language. He used to purchase methamphetamine on behalf of his friends as he was to poor to afford it, cost around $31 per gram. The death of his beloved cousin in Duterte's brutal war against drugs became the proved of his will to eliminate the drugs in his country six years ago.

On the other hand, his effort in the past had helped him to earn victory votes in a five-candidate race. Moreover, the NGO of Manila office in Geneva-based Centre for Humanitarian Dialogue supported his action as the law and order is the chronic national ailments in Philippine.

In his last speech, he insulted the United States which caused the pending of his meeting with Barack Obama in the summit of the Association of Southeast Asian Nations in the Laotian capital of Vietiane. Later, he apologized officially in his second speech and to Barack Obama in private meeting. As the history between Philippine and the United States shows good relationship for over five decades, his statement would much effect their bilateral cooperation.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1 Student Cambridge Books [2]

The line graph shows the total books read by boys and girls at Starmouth School from 2006 to the present. Overall, there were upward trends over a four-year period for boys and girls graph, which could be divided into 2009 to 2010, 2010 to 2011 and 2011 to 2012.

Between 2009 and 2010, there was a steadily increase of books read by girls from approximately 30 to 40 books. Moreover, the books which was read by boys experienced a gradual increase as three times girls did from 50 to 80 books.

Then, there was an intersection at 100 books between boys and girls in number of books they read at the end of 2011 after both of them experienced to increase equally. Lastly, there has been a slight increase of forty books from 100 books which read by girls, while books read by boys has dropped steadily to 80 books till now.

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Writing Feedback / Universe consist of several complexities which becomes more complex with the great difficulties [3]

Ted Summary- David Christian - The history of our world in 18 minutes

At first, David Christian tried to summarized his presentation into a simple video of making a scramble egg and rewind the process back. He stated that our universe was not worked similar to it, which meant that our universe work like "move from order and structure characteristics into less order and structure". Then, he simplified his taught to "Universe consist of several complexities which becomes more complex with the great difficulties. This could be proved by analyzed the complexity itself.

Complexity is built from several complex things, which has different stages of transformations. This fundamental term can be used to describe universe, which is created through several thresholds. The first threshold started around 13.7 billion years ago, when the smaller things than atoms started to release energy and create atoms. Then, those atoms combined and create big bangs before the helium and hydrogen huge clouds formed. Moreover, the third threshold began as those clouds combined to create young stars. In addition, the young stars were destroyed to produce sands, snow and rain.

The earth and solar system was created from those matters that reacted together to form different types of elements in periodic tables. From those moments, the complexity began to evolve and create the first living things. Lastly, the appearance of our species became the most complex things which came from the evolution of varieties of living things.

Overall, he mentioned that goldiluck theory, which include the right amount of energy, diversity of chemical elements and liquids, can answer to how complexity of the universe create human beings or organism.

Writing Feedback / Both, the traditional and the medieval method can be used to fill the irrigation system. [2]

The diagram illustrate two ways to obtain water for irrigation.

Swing basket is the conservative way, which involves two people using basket to fill the irrigation system. The basket is made of bamboo or leather which has cuboid shape and attached diagonally to the ropes at the both ends. Furthermore, the process is began as two people hold the ropes of the basket and dip it into the natural dwell before lift up the basket. After the amount of water fill the bucket, the water is transported and poured into the irrigation channel. this method is repeatedly done till the pond runs out.

Besides, rope and bucket is medieval technique to carry out water from the pond by pulling the ropes which get attached to the cow. The position of the pond is at the top of the hill, which helps the cow reduce the workload as it steps downhill. As soon as the cow moves, the amount of water inside the bucket will be poured into the irrigation channel before it reaches the system. In addition, the instruments used in the process are included a bucket, two rollers, a piece of rope and a cow.

Overall, the traditional and medieval methods can be used to fill the irrigation system.

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Writing Feedback / A death in the family inspires two works of art - Summary Article [2]

Ann Patchett shared the fascinating moment of joining two separated families, Albert Cousins and Fix Keating families, during new novel celebration. Her passion in following the story of these families made her to write those stories in her books called "Commonwealth's family". These novels are fiction based story described as type of "morality of profiting from someone else's experience". In another words, these novels are human-based behavior as well as personalities, which are included the way of human making decisions and human fallibility.

Furthermore, the unique techniques of her writing help her to devote attention equally between her life and characters in her books. The death of members of family did not decrease the quality of her writing to describe it nicely. Besides, the moment of put these families together is as good as the way she wrote her new book.

Writing Feedback / Do schools kill creativity - TED Summary - Sir Ken Robinson [3]

Sir Ken Robinson delivered his presentation about how important is creativity. At the beginning, he stated that everybody has interested in education, or formal education. The capacity of young children to learn things are extraordinary compared to adult do as they have enough creativity. In reality, children with full of creativity may forgot them as they grow older. This is because creativity needs to come with original ideas or interest which makes it difficult for adult to do it.

Furthermore, the intelligence itself is based on 2 things: diverse, which demand as to think in every way, not just being short-minded person and dynamic, which supports the originality of the idea. This foundation should become the important notes for the people, who think that academic ability as well as the most useful subjects are the parameter of successful person.