Writing Feedback / Some of countries have a strict regulation about petroleum by adding the price into the maximum [2]

WRITING TASK 2

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What other measures do you think might be effective?

Some of countries have a strict regulation about petroleum by adding the price into the maximum so it can reduce the environment problems created on the road such as congestion and pollution. I argue that is not the best solution, I believe there are more thing that the government can do by creating more public transportation with the cheap tickets and merge both of the solutions.

When the petrol price is on its highest level, citizens have a tendency to reduce using private vehicles. Some of them will think about the expenditure they should spend if they push themselves to used it. In 2013, professor Murphy Mc Gonagal from University of California conduct a research in Singapore by collaborating with Nan yang Technology University has a predicable result as the number of car usage decrease to 25 percent in a five-year period. Despite this, increasing the price only affect a small change. If a country want to move bigger on changing people behavior to solve road problems they should follow lecturer from Ohio University, Mr. Brian Chen, who suggests high risk pollution countries to integrate at least two policies and not only focus on one policy.

The government need to produce policies which can support each other so the traffic and pollution can taking a nosedive. If a country have integrated policies, such arrange more mass public transportation in which the ticket price is easy to catch up by the mid-lower family income then increasing petrol price will success to move people from the road. So, congestion and gas emission from vehicles can be solved. London is a great example for city where the policies are success to reduce emission and traffic jam to under 15 percent as the city won the Global Green Policies Initiative in 2015.

To sum up , I claim that rising the petroleum price is not the best way, but if it being combined with other policy, in this case is building more transportation which can be used by all range group of citizens - classified by income.

Writing Feedback / If a contractor wants to build an apartment or housing area, the first he needs is cement [2]

IELTS WRITING TASK 1 CEMENT AND CONCRETE PRODUCTION

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

As we can see, there are two types of diagrams. The first one is about cement making and the other one is the next stage is how produce a concrete - after the cement is created. Both of them is an important features to make a building like an apartment.

If a contractor want to build an apartment or housing area, the first they need is cement. To produce cement, there are two raw materials such as limestone and clay. They are being crushed until become powder before being mixed. As the mixed compound enters the next step, it flows into rotating heater and the heat burns the materials. The last stage is finishing by put it into bags after the grinder turns the materials into cement.

The second stage after cement production is concrete making. Containing 15 percent of cement and 10 percent of water, concrete mixer is being shook by adding the others materials such as one in quarter of sand and a half of gravel which the ingredients is small stones. Those concrete mixed will move around util all of the components are become strong liquid as we call it concrete.

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Writing Feedback / Reasons to start a business. Entrepreneurs concentrate only on making money - IELTS Task 2 [2]

The purpose of businesses is to make money and they should concentrate only on this. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people have their own reason to start a business. Some of them say that business is the fastest way to boost their money, other believe if business is not only about get a high profit but also learning about life and improve the capabilities.

Money could make people happy, so individuals want to get money faster. One of the ways is becoming an entrepreneur. Many people always think this way because there are many public figure used to be rich man and they want to follow this path. As example, I ever see a seminar about " How to Become Rich!" and the result is they have a tendention to open a restaurant or small factory because they can get more money in a short time than when they work at the office.

In contrast, the process to become a successful entrepreneur is the hardest path. On this process, people neither always get much profit nor many consumers, so they should struggle how to attrack people that they would buy the product. The learn to manage employers (although it just one or two), build leadership skills and interact to consumers or investors. I have a friend who ever talked to me about this matter. He run a restaurant. He said than the journey of business is not about money. Money is a bonus, but he learn to understand himself as if he is the one who get a huge problem and he should solve it. So, he learn to manage everything.

In conclusion, I believe that there other reason in business world than just making money. Our capasity as people who always thirst of knowledge make us learn better in the enterpeneurship.

Writing Feedback / The least reproductive energy come from electronic devices, the major cause of cold is the ceiling. [2]

The diagram below shows how heat is lost and energy wasted in a house because of air getting into and out of the house. Summarise the information by reporting the main features and make comparisons where appropriate

An air circulation of a house presented in the following picture. The heat and energy loss because of air movement into and out from the house. Clearly, the least reproductive energy come from electronic devices and the biggest caused coldness temperature is the ceiling. Both of them connected each other.

According to the diagram, there are connectivity from the equipment including electronics which create heat and sent out to the ceiling and attic, then fresh air come in from the window and the door. The highest lost of power created in the second floor where many equipments such as room heater and kitchen stove. However, fan ventilation was placed beside the kitchen stove, so the heat reduce a lot.

Third floor was attic where the energy from the light hidden. The hatch in the attic is quite big so it make an excellent ventilation. The above it, in the rooftop, there are three ventilation from plumbing, bathroom and living room. All of them release the waste out of the house.

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Writing Feedback / Many countries has agreed to welcome different habits of people around the world. [2]

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences.

Recent year, tourism increased more popularity among countries. Many people can easily find an advertising to visit beautiful country and enjoy their nature and hospitality. These hospitality sometime has a meaning that the host country should accept the international culture.

Right now, people live in the global era, which mean that there are no boundaries to on country an another. Many country has agreed to welcome different habits of people around the world. So did in the tourism area, the host country can't put aside this matter. The tourist already paid to go to their country. They hope that they can fully enjoy the hospitality of local people by understanding what they needed including the differences. The local citizens should pay attention and understand that people created different each other.

The strong counterattack come from the other side. Some said local custom is a traditional asset for a country. Tourism based on traditional culture can increased more people to come to their country. Nevertheless, if the culture mixed with other, it will affect the uniqueness of the culture. Visiting a place to have holiday does not mean that tourist can get all they want. However, if they learn about local culture They will get unforgettable moment. As example, Bali got its reputation because they believe in their tradition and put aside other customs.

In conclusion, I believe that local customs should be protected. However, to increase the hospitality , learn to accept different customs is does not matter as long as they do not put it as the main factor, and they still protect their culture.

Writing Feedback / Land Degradation The pie chart provides an information about the main cause of unproductive farmland [2]

The pie chat below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons relevant.

The pie chart provides an information about the main caused by unproductive farmland. Closerly look, the table another explanation based on their region. Overall, raising animals in the openland caused the highest number of degradation and the region who did it the most is Europe.

Based on the data, there are three major factor which divided the chart more than one per quarter. The highest percentage among the others was using land for animals in wide area so they can easily eat grass. The second factor was illegal lodging about 30 percent . However, other factor got the smallest percentage in under ten percent.

Dividing area of how the land degradated, the table put three regions. With the total farmland lost, Europe ranked the first position with 23 percent and still became number one for cutting the tress from the forest and over cultivation. The shocking result came from Oceania which this region had zero percent cultivation although the last position of degradation land was secured by North America.

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Writing Feedback / For over years, people always been paid attention on their look while working. [3]

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quantity of work above appearance.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

For over years, people always been paid attention on their look while working. When you search on youtube, there are many tutorial for using a good suit in the company. However, should they dressed smartly?

Some people say the quality of employers based on their look. That's why many people dressed conventionally as part of their work especially when they work in the bank or a large multinational company based on service. Their look can improve their performance and confidence. Consumers will attracted to them and decided to buy/ ger service from their enterprise. As example, customer service in Permata Bank should wear formal suit with green tie and smile nicely, so customer will pleased with them.

In contrast, the recent research conduct by Harvard University about "Happy Workers" found out that when employers work in their comfort zone such as using casual clothes, it will reduce their stress and boost their performance. Let's take a look at the secret of e-commerce industry which booming right now. Networking company in Indonesia such as Go-Jek, Tokopedia and Bukalapak can grow so fast because they create their workplace as cozy as home. They believe the quality of people is not based on their cover, but it come from their behavior and the way of thinking.

In my opinion, I think the question is depends on how important fashion for their company. For an enterprise based on service area which the workers should dress nicely in front of other people, so it is a must. However, I concern that look can be created but our quality can't be created.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : Being an Business Owner or Working for a Company? [2]

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organisation. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

It's becoming increasingly popular for people to become an entrepreneur rather than getting a job in the workplace. Although there are some challenge and and disadvantages to build own factory, I believe that future dream often overweighs any problems. There are two main difficulty to start business. The one that draw the most attention is the high modal they need to build the factories and buy the utensils. Unless the businessmen/women are rich enough, bankcrupty may be the hardest part they should face. A further disadvantage is an unstable income. This means the money you get is depends on how hard you work and sale products. It is very risky for your daily expenditure. On the other hand, make own business is everyone dream job. The main one, it can increase your social status. People who run business almost has a good comment from other people and it grows up their publicity. The other advantages is a leadership skill on your profile. Because it is your company, you learn how to manage people, estimate the cost you need and make a good plan to increase your profit. In addition, you have more flexible time to spend. You can manage what time you will come to your office and back from work. All in all, I think many people should have a better dream job, and that prestigious job is becoming an entrepreneur. These job can make people get higher social status from their environment, improve their leadership skill which better for their life and have a flexible time.

Writing Feedback / The happiness ratings for both: single people and those in relationsip, and the effect of children [2]

The charts below show the result of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the U.S, and the effect of children on the overall ratings of married couples.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevances.

The charts provide information about general feeling in different ages. The first chart compares people happiness between single and wedded individuals. The second chart looks at factor that people think they might be happy because of it. Overall, married people are happier than unmarried people. In addition, children factors are not related with their happiness.

According to the data, married people have higher percentage of happiness around 40 percent than unmarried person around 20 percent. However, from the age gap between them, they have stable percentage. Special case come from unmarried people at the range age 65 and over. They get the highest score at 34 percent.

On the other hand, the second chart shows that there are no relation for married people to have children or not with their happiness. The data tell that no matter how old their children are, their happiness remain stable above 40 percent.

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  Married and unmarried people
  

Writing Feedback / TED Talks : How to Make Stress Your Friend [2]

TED Kelly McGonigal : How to Make Stress Your Friend

Kelly is a psychologist who help other people release their stress. However, she said that she harmed many people by saying that stress is an enemy you should avoid because it can make a cardiovascular disease. However, she changed her mind and here is the reason.

The research conduct by Harvard University found that people who died because they believed stress is harmful for their body increased 43 percent. In America, 182,000 death is caused by people who assumed that stress is bad for their health. The reason of dying is "the stress believers" not the stress itself.

On the other hand, if people change their mind about stress, they can make their own body healthier. When the the mind is stressed, the heart is pounding because it prepares for action and the breath is going faster so the brain getting more oxygen. Stress also has positively social impact for individuals. When a person stress, she/he will produce oxitocyn, a neuro hormone which active because the needed of social instinct, the same hormone when somebody hug each other. Oxitocyn has function such as add physical contact with family, raise empathy and more willing to help and support others.

Oxitocyn is not only act of your brain but also your body. Carsiovascular system, main part of body, will help the blood vessel relax when somebody starts to stress. The blood goes to the heart, the place where has receptor to release oxitocyn. In addition, when somebody has social contact because the needed of other support, they will release more hormone which make them recover faster from stress.

Choosing of the task responses as helpful and not harmful will create biological approach and choosing connected with people who under stress can create resilience, so stress gives access to the heart( joy, meaning, and connecting with other) as a positive energy. It is not about getting better at stress, but how to make profound statement that we need to trust our self, handle life challenge and remembering that we don't need to face them all alone.

Writing Feedback / The machine for generating electricity consist of two main parts : steel tower and a computer room [3]

Topic :
The diagrams below show the design for a wind turbine and its location. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevants.

The diagrams show a machine for generating electricity from wind and where it can be placed. The machine consist of two main parts : steel tower and a computer room. In general, the machine appears to be the easiest way to renewable energy which do not harm the appearance of the place.

The process starts when the wind passes the steel tower and then move the turbine which made of fibre-glass or timber. As the blades move, the wind sensor will detect speed and direction of the blades. The next step, the operator can get information about it from computer room where placed near the location. From there, the electricity can be measured.

The location where the wind placed has many criteria. Firstly, if the turbine placed in a high area, it can produces higher electricity, because it get the best level of wind strengths. As concequences, the landscapes will spoiled by the tower. Alternatively, the tower can be placed in the lower area but the quality of the wind is not as good as when it placed in a hill.

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  wind turbine and its location
  

Writing Feedback / Radio, television, and Internet shows over and over gossips stories and entertainment news [2]

Topic :

The media pay too much attentions to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors , singers and footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

Radio, television, and the internet go over stories about gossips and entertainment news for almost all day long. As a result, many people affected by the media they watch everyday. I believe media should tell about real life common person and do not show about different world where the celebrities lives.

Citizens who argue that well-known people should be reported have important reason to share. They suggest that public figure can change other people's life. They can motivate their fans to become better person. As example, the famous football player, Cristiano Ronaldo, helped a child from Aceh when The Tsunami happened. Ten years later, the boy changes and becomes the famous young soccerrer .

On the other hand, there is one main reason why ordinary people hould be showed in the media. Of course, they live in a real social life and they are not created by the media want for public consumption. Without a camera, they daily life are still going but their inspiration tend to be uncaptured. So, it is important to the media to take their life into the screen. For example is Butet Manurung, an educational activist who teach in the rural area in Sumatra. What she is doing inspires Mira Lesmana, the film producer, to create biography movie about her. Because of these movie, many inhabitants follow her path to make social community based on educational purpose.

In conclusion, more people should know there are many people like them who can do better thing although they just normal person.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : Recruitment English Teacher and French Teacher in Ontario between 2001 and 2007 [5]

Topic :

The graph below shows information about the recruitment of teachers in Ontario between 2001 and 2007.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph gives information about how many graduation who choose become a teacher in Ontario from 2001 to 2007. Overall, although English and French language teachers started the same point in 2001, but they had different result in 2007. When French language teachers remained stable, English Language teachers decreased slightly.

According to the data, from 2001 to 2003, people who work at school as a teacher being recruited declined by 40 percent. In other hand, there was a fluctuation for enrollment of French educationers, starting in 70 percent in 2001,it fell by 19 percent and then grew up again to 69 percent.

In 2003, both of French and English teacher enlisting had slowly increased for over three years. Afterwards, both off these recruitment had the same pattern like in 2001 - 2003 that happened in 2005 - 2007. The number of education bachelor who recruited fell by 25 percent, however the number of French teacher went up and down until reached a peak at 74 percent.

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  Percentage of first year teachers with regular teaching jobs by year of graduation