Unanswered [10] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Faridadwi18
Name: Farida Dwi Rokhmah
Joined: Aug 10, 2016
Last Post: Oct 27, 2016
Threads: 67
Posts: 104  
Likes: 13
From: Indonesia
School: Brawijaya University

Displayed posts: 171 / page 1 of 5
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
Faridadwi18   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing task 2- The opinion about communication with others via online [5]

Hi Fauzi,

- ... especially the easy access to communicationcommunicate by using the internet.

- you need to re-check your grammar before posting it.

- You make a good essay, but sometimes i confuse about your meaning in some sentences.


Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Oct 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / Middle aged people have the highest problem over all activities in a new living place [5]

Hi mardian,

... 18-34 is getting finances at 38 percent . The percentage is 38 percent of this problem .

And then get a higher number than before of 34 percent. At the end, it is adecreased slightly to 28 percent ...

- For an overview it better not to discuss the lowest number. Discuss the main features.
- Do not explain all the number, do grouping to make a clear explanation.

Hopefully it helps
Faridadwi18   
Oct 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / English-language teachers and French-language school teachers in Ontario [5]

Hi Wily,

... schoolteachers in Ontario washad a downward trend and ...
... was a gradual decreaseD in the percentage of ...
... people who teachtaught English-language wasshowed a sudden fall to 40 ...
... both of Fresh graduate who teachtaught English-language and who teachtaught French language increased ...
People who teachtaught English-teacher was ...

- Do not explain all the numbers, use grouping so you can explain it better.
- pay more attention in your grammar.

Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Oct 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - SCHOOL AND PARENTS ROLE FOR KEEPING CHILDREN HEALTH - CAMBRIDGE BOOK 5.5 - 6.5 PAGE 2 [5]

Hi Fai,

This is shown by some statisticsfigures that displays (...) that havesuffer from diseases.
While the fatherS and motherS give pupils (...) when they are at school, for ...
For instance, some foodS that usually soldsell outside the school is dirty, even thoughbut they still buy it.
... and the teacherdo not care, they ...

... because children spend manymuch time in home.

All in all, both schoolS and parents ...

- You need to make your thesis statement more specific by giving the reasons.
- There are no coherence between essay and the question. Understand the question first so you can answer it clearly.

Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Oct 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / Celebrities? I believe that the most essential in media is reporting about government in a country. [6]

Hi Wily,

Nowadays, technology isdevelopedforin all of aspects, especially in media.
... celebrities' lifestyle than othersordinary people .

For example, media held a surveyed about people ...
In anotherOn the other hand, the most essential is ...
To sum up, reportingthe lifestyle of celebrities ...
- I think you need to make your thesis statement more specific.
- your first and second body do not answer the prompt well. In the third body you should explain why media should report ordinary people not about a risk of disaster in people. Catastrophe will affect all people, celebrities and ordinary people so you can't use that reason to explain body paragraph 2.


Hopefully it help.
Faridadwi18   
Oct 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / The chart compares the problems of citizens who stay outside their home countries [5]

Hi reski,

... middle age for all types of difficultydifficulties.

People havein 18-34 years-old group is the second highest after ...
- It is better to make 2 sentences in the overview.
- 3 paragraphs are better than only 2 paragraphs in task 1.
- don't explain all the details, you need to do grouping so that you can describe it better.
- you can use words : youngest, elderly, and middle age so that you can get more various explanation.


Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Oct 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / Nowadays, there are many causes that make children have an unhealthy lifestyle. [5]

Hi Ifra,

- I don't think that you answer the question well since the question talk about why both schools and parents have to be responsible for such an issue, then you answer the reason why children have unhealthy lifestyle. there are also some sentences which out of topic.

- you need to understand the question first before answering it.
- In your conclusion, you say that 'both schools and parents are responsible for creating the good character of their children in daily life so that they will have a healthy lifestyle'. i think there is no correlation between character and healthy lifestyle so this also out of topic.

- You have a good control in grammar

Hopefully it helps
Faridadwi18   
Oct 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / Three kind of citizen problems who stay at the foreign country based on age in percent [5]

Hi Willy,

The chart (make it more specific : bar, line, or pie chart) shows about three kind ...
... second most problem for all inhabitants(i don't get the meaning of this sentence) .

... all people who stay at a new country is how tohave a healthy plan.
... this is athe(superlative) biggest problem at ...
For adults have the problem at under 30 percent (what problem) and for people ...

- For overview, it is better not to explain the least percentage. you can put it in the body paragraph.
- i think you fail to explain the details since it is unclear what the problem are and which group of people who experience the problem.

- don't explain all the details one by one, do grouping will help you to describe the graph well.

Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Oct 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / School - a place to get information and parents to teach good behavior. Unhealthy lifestyle problem. [4]

Hi Resky,

- I think you don't answer the task achievement which is given above.
- You should explain why you agree or disagree
- i don't find your opinion in the essay, whereas you should put your opinion in introduction or conclusion since the question ask 'do you agree or disagree?'

- You need to check your grammar and some collocation before posting the essay.
For example , "..., like easy toget sick and makesuffer from a disease as diarrhea or obesity."

Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Oct 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1 - Three Problems When Move to Overseas [6]

Hi Anna,

... about the difficulties thatwhich people face when ...
... children are the smallestleast problems for all age.

..., financial problems isshow a slight increase from ...
However, it fellfalls to under 30% in oldEST people.

It is also difficultbecomes an issue to old residents with ...

Education for children is an easy problem for old people to...

- do not explain all the problems one by one. grouping the chart will help you to explain clearly the graph.
- try to use different patterns of sentences in the essay.

Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Oct 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / Sort of problems people have when they move into the other countries, according to ages [4]

Hi Ifra,

Overall, the biggest problem which people faced when they live abroad is for finding the best health care in those countries in 35-54 years old people.

Moreover, elderly people in over 55 years old show that onlyjust under 30 percent ...

... age is the most problematic issue which is above 36 percent.
... percentage than others which isat under 35 percent.

- you explain it well, but it likes 'shopping list'. You explain all the problems one by one. it is better to do grouping so that it will be well organised.

- it is better to make two sentences in the overview.

- in the first paragraph try to compare the biggest number of all problems.
Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Oct 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / Kids tend to eat what they like or do want they want to do, without considering the adverse effects [5]

Hi nuraini,

... both academic institutionS and parents have ...
... since most of children time is spentspend in school and home.

Some unhealthy lifestyelifestyle (spelling) is refers to ...
This is responsesibilityresponsibility(spelling) of schools and parents. For instance, many kind of foodSthat offerwhich is offered in school. In the rest time children will choose attarctiveattractive (spelling) food, which is unhealthy. As the effect children haveget digestion problem or anyother diseases. It is one of school responsisbilityresponsibilities(spelling) since they have ...

... attention to their children like givegiving them box meallunch box , so they do not ...

... use it in normaltime, but it will become dangerous ...

- In the first paragraph i think you make a good answer, but in the second paragraph there was no coherence to the question. You need to understand the question so you will make a good response.

- Be careful on the wrong spelling since you make a lot of mistakes in spelling the words.
Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Oct 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / Various of difficulties that people experience when they stay in overseas [4]

Hi Bada,

... the various of difficulties thatwhich(it is better to use which than that in IELTS test) people experience when ...
Overall, the much higher problemSthatwhich people experienceface in all group age (...), and the most lessleast problem is choosing of education for children.

... a slight fall under 30 percent of the oldest.

On the other hand , the middle age experience (...), at about 35 peoplepercent .

Finding education institute is the most lessleast problem in all of ...

To sum up, the most higher problem experience in all age is shorting in healthcare and the most ...

- I think you need to understand the question first so you can describe it well.
- In task 1, if you already make the overview, you don't need to make a conclusion.
- it is better to make at least 3 paragraph in the task 1


Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Oct 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / The diagrams display the tools and steps to create cement in the cement production [2]

IELTS Task 1 : Cement And Concrete Production

The diagrams display the tools and steps to create cement in the cement production, and how the concrete is produced using cement to build a building. We can see that there are 3 steps in making cement, while producing concrete only needs one step by mixing cement with others ingredients.

The first step to produce cement is materials consisting of limestone and clay are crushed using crusher then it becomes powder. Following this, the powder is entered to a mixer then pass through rotating heater. The heater is come from another equipment which produce fire. Once it has been heated, the powder bring to a grinder so that it becomes cement and it is ready to pack in bags. After that, the cement are ready to sell.

Another process of cement production is concrete production. Half of the ingredient is using gravel which is small stones. Other ingredients are cement for about 15 percent, water 10 percent and sand a quarter. Finally , All the material are mixed in the concrete mixer then it becomes concrete and ready to use for building process.




Faridadwi18   
Oct 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / A policy to raise the price of petrol to solve congestion and emission problems [2]

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

One of the best solution to solve congestion and emission problems is by making a policy to raise the price of petrol. This essay is agree with such an initiative view because increasing the price of petrol will make people rarely to use private car and moved to public transportation so that the traffic and pollution will reduce significantly. Other measures which might be effective are making economist public transportation and carpooling.

Raising the price of petrol will solve the congestion and pollution problems because it is too expensive to purchase petrol. More inhabitants will prefer to use public transportation then the pollution will reduce. In my own experience, when government increase the price of petrol in 2013, I used motorcycle to go to the places i need to go. Although it is uncomfortable and i feel cold when it rains but I still prefer to use it due to its cheaper price. Despite this, many inhabitants still use petrol although it is expensive because it is more comfortable to use private cars.

Alternatively, government can built public transportation in which have lower price and poor people can afford it. Right now, many citizen are using train to commute to work. Government can use such condition to reduce the price of train ticket so more people will use train. They also can make a policy to do carpool. This policy is succeed in California, many people are doing carpool in order to reduce number of traffic and pollution. After the carpool is held the number of congestion is reduce gradually and the amount of pollution also declined slightly.

In conclusion, by increasing the price of petrol, making a cheaper public transportation, and carpooling can help government to reduce the number of congestion and pollution problems which is caused by private cars.
Faridadwi18   
Oct 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / 8 secrets of success (TED Summary) [8]

Hi Fauzan,

There are 8 things which are able to leads us to successsucceed .
... you love, not only struggle just for money. If you work for love, money will comes anyway.
... and fun to make everythingfeel easy.
... to repeat practiceSto make somethingso that it would be perfect.

Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Oct 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Summary : Let's Teach for Mastery by Sal Khan [11]

Hi Yonathan,

... teacher gives many homeworkS to students and teacher ...
In real lifefact , the traditional academic ...
... gives an order to his workers for buildING a foundation, and he said (...), the contractor justwill give a bad score to them.

While in a base of the pyramid there (...) labor purposes, in the middle of the (...) top of the pyramid areis consist of capital ...
.., many people have an access to get information but the...

Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Oct 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2 Colors As A Reflection Of People's Personality [2]

The colors of the clothes we wear, the colors of our possessions and the color that we decorate our homes say a lot about our personalities.

How true is this statement?
How far is color a direct reflection of personality?


The concepts of colors which we choose in our daily life resemble our personalities such as the colors of decoration in our house,the colors of possesions, and the colors of the clothing in which we wear. The opinion about every color has different effect on our psychology is slightly true.Colors tricks are used by experts to direct people's feelings.

The appearance of color is connected with feeling and mood. This is because wavelengths of light may have some impacts in our brain. An author of a book "The Beginner's Guide to Color Psychology" said that colors have an effect of electro-magnetic radiation which can influence people's mood and behaviour. For instance, grey reflect a psychological neutrality so that Apple and Wikipedia use it in their logos to make people calm. Also, Red is a color of passion so that many women wear red to get their date heart racing.

When people go to a place, they are influence by the walls or the furniture because human brain gets affected by the atmosphere of the place the person gets in. In the Color Emotion Book said that some architects use yellow to decorate a house so that the owners feel more cheerful and optimism. Despite this, not only colors which can affect people's feeling but also music also can change mood.

Music can increase people's mood especially upbeat music since the rhythm and pitch of music are managed in some areas of the brain which is dealing with emotions and mood. A 2013 study in the Journal of Positive Psychology by Ferguson and Sheldon found that people who listened to upbeat music could improve their moods and boost their happiness in just two weeks.

To conclude, color have an effect to influence people feelings and it is proven by some experts, but there is another item which affect feelings such a upbeat music.
Faridadwi18   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2 Social Media Have Negative Or Positive Effects? [2]

Question : Internet-based social networking sites are designed to help bring people together. However, they have a negative effect on the way we communicate with one another.

Do you agree or disagree?


Social media makes people unite by having an effective communication. Although social networking sites such as Facebook and Instagram providing many inappropriate photos and videos, it increases the opportunity to some professions like writers and bloggers to connect with their readers. I would argue that Facebook influences children to become addicted to it.

The biggest negative effect when children start to use social media is addiction. This is because they are fear of missing out new information.This resulted in losing focus and attention in the class. A 2012 study from Iowa University found that children spent 44.5 hours on average per week in front of screens and therefore this condition will lower the motivation to study. Despite this, social media help students to communicate directly with experts to discuss a particular subject like science and ask input to develop their ability.

In Facebook there are many links in which providing improper photos and videos because all users are able to upload photos or videos without censors. In the February Pediatrics 2010, Psychologist Kimberly Mitchel, PhD, and Finkelhor discovered that 42 percent of 1,500 internet users aged 10-17 were exposed to online porn, two-third of whom were unwanted exposure, meaning that they were looking for it unintentionally. However, Facebook helps them to have a contact with other people with same hobbies such as drawing and support one another.

In conclusion, social media helps children to keep in touch with experts or others who have a same anxiety, but I believe it makes them losing their concentration and leading to sexual harassment.
Faridadwi18   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Summary: Why we Need to Talk About Depression by Kevin Breel [5]

Hi Yonathan,

Kevin Breel, is a person who is suffering from depression for about 6 years. ... depression is not about sad aboutordiddon't get a job which ...

And every 30 secondS someone commits suicide ...
... not care about people who are suffering from mental illness instead ...
... not a kind of disease which iscan be cured and gain absolutely ...
... misconception about depression. and Ironically, depression is (...) but the least to be discussed.
... people can do about depression is to vanishby demolishing the silence and intolerance.

Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Robotic race cars. The autonomous vehicle was a dream and it has been dream since 1939 [3]

Hi Dioba,

... was a dream and it has been dream is still the since 1939. But, recently years , dream tooktake a step forward when ...
California's consideringa similar legislation. In the speaker lablaboratory at Stanford, he has been ...
He developingS robotic race cars, and develop theirits performances to the limit ...
Almost majorityMost of the people know that human ...
And the last is he want the robotic race ...
The last , he compared withto data that he was recorded from ...

Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Sep 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / CCTV Cameras Are Being Used To Monitor People Activity - Writing Task 2 [2]

Sophisticated technology such as mobile phones and cameras are being used to supervise people on their activities and their conversation. In several cases, inhabitants who are monitored do not even know if they are being looked at others using this kind of technology. Although it helps government to reduce the number of crime, I believe such condition will make people feel annoyed because government invade citizen privacy.

Many people believe that government use CCTV to reduce crime in order to make them feel safe. An application in the cellphone called "Find My Friends" using GPS to help people when they get lost. A 2013 study in California University found that more than 65 percent of car thefts are caught after police analyze the CCTV near by crime location. There are some evidence from a study which prove that such an application help people to find their friends when they lost them. Despite this, some people use the devices to spy on people privacy such as monitoring them while they take a bath or talk about a secret in the pone with their friends.

By invading people private activities will make them feel disturb. This is because they feel afraid to do an activity because of realizing that they are being watched. In the UK, over 4,5 million CCTV are estimated to be installed and made Briton becoming the most watched country in the world. A result from a survey in 1992 concluded that more than a third of inhabitants believe that CCTV and GPS invade their privacy.

In conclusion, by placing many cameras in the roads can help government reducing car thefts. Having said that, I think government are going too far and invade person's privacy.
Faridadwi18   
Sep 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / Today, the health care system world is threatened by nurse migration [5]

Hi Dioba,

... world are threatens by nurse migration. This migration are caused by varyandvarious complex problems. Higher salaries and better qualityIES of life are some reasons ...

In some regionS especially developing nations such ...
TheAn other case occurred in Philippines. They send thousands of nurse working abroad and gotgetting income one ...
... of nurse migration is their leaving of they leave on their health care up to assistant ...

Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Sep 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / TEDX Finding work you love dont Follow your passion [5]

Hi Bams,

Here some corrections which i find :
- Most people in the world have a hard time (...) it is a complexcomplexes problem. Right now many people are focuses on the wrong thing,...

... strategy to got the best career, (...) and following money to get passion.
- ..., several societyIES have different wayS , likes find out (...) before getgetting success and fulfilling ...
..., That is reserved with reasearchresearch data, particularly data which can give us information ...
We should doingdo valuable thing and ...

Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Sep 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 Clothes Can Indicates What People Personality Or Not? [2]

Question : some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like. Others, however, say that people should not be judged by the clothes they wear. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Become fashionable is a pivotal thing because the first impression of people is by the clothes which they wear. Most of people will judge other characteristic by looking at people clothes. However, others believe that people need to know other closely to understand their personality, and not by their appearance. In my point of view, citizen should not judge other only by their performance.

When people work, they need to have a good appearance in order to draw attention of their clients or customers. If they look sloppy, people who look them will think that they do not have an intention to work. For instance, inhabitant who work as a teacher should dress smartly. If they wear casual clothes to teach their student will follow them. It is better to look neat in front of student so that they will do the same thing.

On the other hand, judging others only by their appearance is not right thing to do because many person's who has a good personality but they wear sloppy clothes. While others who wear neat clothes has a bad personality. Many inhabitants who wear good and expensive clothes only for covering the real personality and only want to look good in front of their friends.

In conclusion, it is a good thing to have great sense of fashion in order to make a better impression. However, people can not value other by their look. They need to be closed to know what people really like and look closely to understand other characteristic.
Faridadwi18   
Sep 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 Relationship Between People In A Workplace [2]

The pie charts illustrate a finding of a study about the relationship between people in the workplace in 2005 and 2009. Overall, it can be seen that most of people had a very good relationship with their manager and partners. While a few of them did not have supervisor and co-workers.

Looking at the details, in 2005, the highest percentage of relationship with supervisor was very good, at 61 per cent outnumbering good by 35 per cent. There were some people who did not answer the question, at 2 per cent. The least was employees who did not have supervisor, at one per cent. A similar pattern happened in 2009. The difference was in the last position in 2009, it was workers with poor relationship with their co-workers. Also, in 2009, all people were answering the question.

The relationship between partners in 2005 and 2009 had a similar result. The biggest number of relationship was very good while the least was people who did not have co-workers. In 2005, one percent of people had a poor relationship between workers while in 2009 no one had a poor one.




Faridadwi18   
Sep 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / The pie graphs compare the proportion of average budget spent by household for 6 specific categories [13]

Hi Yungshin,

- The peipie graphs compare the proportion ...
... while 'food' become the number onefirst rank of household spending in 2010.
- ... 72.1% of 'housing' is the mosthighest number of household (...), compared to dropped to 22.0% which was happened in 2010 .
- Also, there was can be seen a smallslight decline patterm which was 'education' ...

It is better if you do grouping, so you do not need to explain all numbers.
Hopefully it helps.

Faridadwi18   
Sep 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS practice for task 1 about maps of Meadowside village and Foton [5]

Hi Heru,

- The maps illustrate changes which is happened in two ...
... the places werein the separateD locations and now the landthere are combined land .
- Both of them were in the remote areas without residents.
- ... more suitable for people who live within the development inof public transport, housing area.

Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Sep 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / Several leisure activities among children - IELTS Task 1 [3]

Hi wahyu,

- ... percentage of boys and girls who have ageaged between 5 and 14 ...
... in some hobbies and both of themgenders have the same ...
- The same pattern also happens in ...

Ii is better if you check the attach before you upload it,because i can't find the chart.
hopefully it helps
.
Faridadwi18   
Sep 6, 2016
Undergraduate / There wasn't no one to push me to do my best in the school in Jamaica [3]

Hi shaw,

- I was born in Jamaica, growing upgrowthin there was very hard because no one was there to pushpushed me to do my best in school,

- so instead I had to useused my own initiative and set a goal which I wanted to (...) to do my utmost best.
- And I am really glad I wasto be raised that way because now I am able to rely on ...
- I am able to fend for myself and not a lot ofall people can say ...

Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Sep 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Business have to prioritize their employees rather than their financial objectives [2]

Question : the purpose of business is to make money and they should concentrate only on this. Do you agree or disagree?

The competition in economic fields makes many companies prioritizing profits and stick with it in order to have much incomes. They only think about the way to make their organisations bigger. Others think that the aim of business should about the way to make the employee has a good quality of life. I believe that company should think about their workers rather than the profit which they make.

First and foremost, when a company start up their business, they must have an aim like opening job vacancy to other people. By opening work field will help citizens who do not have any job to have a chance to make incomes. If they have a job, they will get more income so that it also will help their family to have a better life. It also help the neighborhood to get more money, people can sell foods near the work place.

Moreover, organisations have to treat their employees well and not exploiting them. They can give an insurance,which can be used when the employees sick,for each worker. Company also can give money to employee who do overtime work. Right now, many companies which exploit their workers to work over the time but they do not give extra money.This condition can make them easy to get sick and finally they resign from the organisation. This way will give disadvantage to company because it means they have to find another person to that position and to recruit new one will need much money .

To conclude, I think that a company have to prioritize their employees rather than their financial objectives.
Faridadwi18   
Sep 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / The advance of technology make many alterations in people's life [3]

Questions : The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationship between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The advance of technology make many alterations in people's life. The positive effect of electronic media is making people who are separated feels like they do not live in distance. In contrast, modern technology also has drawback like making personal relationship become further. I would argue that electronic devices has more negative aspect than positive one.

In the past, it was impossible to have direct conversation in long distance relationship, they only can send a letter or fax. Right now, because of sophisticated technology, people can communicate with others face-to-face also can meet in screen by using face time or skype. These kind of applications really help inhabitant to get wider communication with others in different continents.

On the other hand, modern technology like internet also has a bad side to personal relationship. They careless to other and only care for their cellphones. For instance, many people who hang out in a cafe with their friends tend to hold their mobile phone while they talk with their friend. Another is internet have a tendency for leading people to crime. Some crime cases are caused by internet. At first, they know each other by using social media then they meet in the real life and finally crime happens. Many reports of sexual harassment or rape happen because of the corrosive effect of internet.

In conclusion, merit and demerit effect of electronic media influence people's live.Although advance technology make communication more fluent between people, it can make others lose their empathy to their friends and family also can increase crime.
Faridadwi18   
Sep 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Overall, air enter the house from windows or doors and leaks out by the roof of the house [2]

IELTS Task 1 Air Leaks And Heat Loss In Houses.

The diagram illustrates how heat loss and how air leaks into and out of the house through three different levels. Overall, air enter the house from windows or doors and leaks out by the roof of the house while heat travels through the wall and finally out of the roof.

In the first floor, air get into the house from the windows in the dryer vent and from crawl space near outdoor faucet. Kitchen fan vent and window are used by air to come into kitchen area. In the living room on the second floor, door and window are used by air to enter the building. Also, air get into house by electrical outlet beside the living room.

According to the science, heat travels in three different ways by conduction, convection, and radiation. That is the reason why heat and air from the basement out from the house through attic hatch in the middle of the building and bathroom fan vent also plumbing stack event.




Faridadwi18   
Sep 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / The table elucidates the result of two studies about the kind of communications in a job [2]

The table elucidates the result of two studies about what kind of communication skills which are essential in people's work in 1997 and 2006. Overall, there are two forms of communication which people use, external and internal, and most of them experienced a slight increase.

Looking at the details, for external communication, dealing with people had the highest number in both years and it showed a slow incline.While the least was selling a product or service and it was the only form of communication which showed a slight decline. Knowledge of particular product or services and advising or caring for customers or clients had a slight different number. In 1997, advising experienced higher number than knowledge of particular product and in 2006 was vice versa.

Communication within people inside company, listening carefully to colleagues had the biggest percentage, at above 35 per cent in both years while making speeches or presentation was the least at below 22 percent in 1997 and 2006.




Faridadwi18   
Sep 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Every company usually has some criteria to employ their workers. One of it to dress "smartly". [5]

Hi my lovely classmate,

I think you made a good essay. let me give some corrections for you.
- in the first body paragraph you explain about what the meaning of dress smartly. i think you don't need to do that. by doing this you don't answer the task response.

- it is better to explain the quality of work in the second paragraph. the task ask you about appearance and quality of work but you don't explain about the performance of employee depends on their work result.

Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Sep 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / "SCARED PLACE OF MACHU PICCHU IN PERU" [4]

Hi Bams,

There is a scared place in peru ...
... by archeologist hiram brimingham in 1911.
NowadayS it place draw many tourists attention to visit it because (...) pichu have but also many marvels such ...
Tourist can accesaccess machu pichu with more wayS but the most and recomended ...
Peruvians government set of a way and restriction to perserve environt ment and ancients ruins.

I am a bit confuse, what do you mean with "scared" in this essay?do you mean afraid or that is miss spelling of "sacred"?

It is better if also give the link so that others will also get the real article.
Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Sep 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Sydney has more hours on daylight (2.473 hours) and it's more than twice comparing to London (1.180) [3]

Hi daya,

The graph and table below provide information about the degree level of ...
For your introduction it is better if you explain the chart one by one because it contains of different kind of charts .
The graph below provide information about the degree level of weather in London, New York and Sydney per month.The table displays total time of sunny days for a year which measured by hours.

Hopefully it helps.
Faridadwi18   
Sep 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / SUMMARY TASK 8 - WHY ARE WOMEN LEAVING SCIENCE CAREERS ? [6]

Hi rosa,

... who have registered to thea college of science ...
... to leave their careers byin their mid-forties. The result of an academic research (...) giving up on their careers behind , after struggling to achieve. As scientists, time is one of somethe important matter thatwhich is required by company.

... as women, taking care to the family, growing the children ...
... women are not suggested to havinghave babies anymore. That is one of somethe reasons why women (...) even if actually they do not wishwanted it .

... reinforce the women to not to go further in the research.

Hopefully it helps.

Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳