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Posts by Aris05
Name: Aris Indra
Joined: Aug 25, 2016
Last Post: Oct 12, 2016
Threads: 31
Posts: 24  
Likes: 1
From: Indonesia
School: English studio

Displayed posts: 55 / page 1 of 2
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Aris05   
Oct 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / How Build Creativeness and Confidence [2]

In that video, the speaker, David Kelly, talked about the way to build creativeness and confidence. In most of the time, people surrounding us gave a severely nasty judgment when we brought about the mistakes. Thus, it affected dire consequences in self confidence and creativeness causing people for tending to avoid a something new. In fact, this situation was not good as it was going to be the biggest barrier to develop their curiousty. To deal with this situation, he made reference to Albert Bandura, psychologist, creating a theory called guided mastery. In this regard, Bandura convinced people to deal with their problems, not avoid it. He did his method in several steps pertain to grow patient's confidence which is called confidence self-efficacy. Kelly also told a story about Doug Dietz discovering a medical imaging equipment. At the first time, Doug felt very happy since his invention was able to aid a large number of people. However, seeing the children crying because of being afraid of that machine, his feeling suddenly changed. Afterward, he decided to do makeover in his workplace like playground. Amazingly enough, it is work well and able to reduce the number of patients by 70 percent. Finally, speaker believed that creativeness and certainty were really important in our life.
Aris05   
Oct 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / The majority of people moved to some big cities from their hometown to have a good condition to live [4]

Hi samsons, here my thoughts

the majority of people moved to athe big cities from their hometown to have a good life condition to live.

... advantages and disadvantages to beinga people when people live ...

... in a small community, you never feel lonely because people knew know each other and everyone usually speaks to each other.

and people there were little crime because people there did not have material needspossession so much

And if children have a lot of friends to play with, they ...

.., fields and rivers and also , they have no factories or industries there.

That's it. I wish it could be help.
Best Regards
Aris05   
Oct 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Haitians Worship Among Devastation Caused by Hurricane Matthew [2]

After the hurricane knocked down, a large number of Haitians died while enormous buildings were vanished in term-time. According to current official report, approximately 522 inhabitants died due to this tragedy ; moreover, it is not included the number of victims coming from remote areas as the ruins of bridges and roads had blocked the location's access. Though the Haitians experienced the worst hardship since they lost their family members and possession, most of them still did the worship in ruined Churches. They praised and prayed to the god because of giving them salvation. In addition, The authority estimated at least 350,000 Haitians needed aid whilst the biggest threat came from cholera disease. This condition was compounded by destruction of crops and limitation of health care services.
Aris05   
Oct 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Let is simplify legal jargon By Alan Siegel [2]

Hi, pha. Here are my thoughts

... talked that today government was complexity responsible has complex responsibility which runsa 16 pages of constitutions where took at ...

He explained the simple things achievingto achieve this about transparency ...

Siegel is as keynote speaker on ...

Had been developed design business and focus a new people and interactive with others such ...
To be honest, I am confused with this sentence

He explained to be more simplesimplify it how to organize the ...

He said that Obama always havehas time to correct and all important document.

... changing the content that he is proud about date, ...
IBM havehas responsibility in business.

Thomas Jefferson whichwho said when the ...

That's it, i wish it could be useful.
Best Regards
Aris05   
Oct 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / Essay about issue of the crime punishment - evaluation of the guilt [2]

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding the punishment.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.


The large number of inhabitants agree that every type of crime has to get punishment directly, while others believe that the criminal sentence must consider the other factors influencing the crime. This essay will discuss both views.

Nowadays, the amount of crime has increased and thus most people are not able to live in peaceful situation. Consequently, most of them convince that the government must punish people committing in criminal activity. For instance, a person robbing a house and killing the owner of the house should get a severe sentence such as prison sentence along the life or death punishment. The simple reason is to emerge the wary effect to other criminals. As the result, most of them think that it is able to have immense possibility to reduce the crime amount and to provide peace life for the society.

On the other hand, many believe that the sentence is able to be given after the authority has done the deep investigation to know the other factors influencing people to commit the crime. For example, pick pockets are able to get amnesty when they have a strong reason why they are involved in the stealing activity such us to maintain their life as they live in poor condition or someone has forced them to do it. It pertains to human right as well since every person has the same right to get protection in front of the law.

All in all, several people state that the punishment has to be given as soon as possible, while many think that the sentence must wait until the account of crime has been met. However, I personally believe that the criminals are supposed to get sentence as soon as possible because it is able to maintain a good situation in society. It is imperative that the government has to arrange the policy to regulate this case wisely.
Aris05   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / How Child Trauma Can Cause Trauma Aging [2]

Nowadays, the number of people talks about the aging and it is sensitive matter for most of them. However, no one discusses about telomere which has a significant contribution in the aging process. Telomere is a part of chromosome which contains protein. It pertains to our ages as the growth of telomere is going to reduce in the long run. The expansion of telomere is affected by environmental condition and stress. A recent study outlines that bad experiences of childhood are able to disturb telomere growth causing premature aging, while other studies showed that the economical problems interfere the telomere growth in both childhood and adulthood. In addition, horrible experience in social life also retard 8 percent of telomere development in childhood and it is able to increase to 11 % when someone has been adult. Most of the time, children do not want to tell their stress having been experienced. Thus, it may be able to change their gene expression permanently.
Aris05   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / The speaker, James Oliver, talked about the importances of children to learn about healthy food. [2]

TED : teach every child about food

In that video, The speaker, James Oliver, talked about the importances of children to learn healthy food. First of all, He said that in recent years many people do not realize that a food which they consume everyday harms their body health such as obesity and blood sugar disease. Moreover, some people do the strict diet to solve those problems. In fact, instead of undertaking it, this activity precisely aggravates their condition and even causes the death. In this case, fast food has the greatest responsibilty affecting many problems in fitness of humans. Nowadays, Fast food is also commonly consumed by school children as it is considered simpler than the parents have to prepare their children food. For instance, the number of children bought pizza for breakfast, and french fries as a their snack. Whereas, those foods contain the amount of additives and ingridients which is not good for their health. The speaker said that Americans have to make a change in life with learning a basic cooking. In addition, parents need to give more attention to their children food. Then, a person is able to teach three people about cooking and then they can continue it to others. Eventually, all of people will involve in this action and give the best effect for children.
Aris05   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Strangers are not dangerous - we should talk to them keeping in mind cultural differences [6]

Hai, Yonathan. here are my thoughts

ButHowever , Kio stated that most strangers ...

most strangers are not dangerous and. We have erased both the assumption and category ...

Categorise peoplePeople category in physical appearance likesuch as black, white, Asian is ...

That's it. I wish it could be useful.
Best Regard
Aris05   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / How Big is the Ocean? It covers roughly 71% of Earth's surface. [5]

Hi erwin, here are my thoughts

..., consisting of five component basins component that are called the Atlantic

Each of these five, while generally referred to as oceans ...

... 97% of Earth's total of water content.

... 50% of the world's population are living within 100 kilometres ...

That's it, i wish it could be useful.
Best regard
Aris05   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / One of the tremendous hurricanes, called Matthew, was going to surge Haiti [2]

Powerful Hurricane Matthew Threatens Haiti, Jamaica and Cuba

One of the tremendous hurricanes, called Matthew, was going to surge Haiti and it was on fourth grade for dangerous level. Thus, the hurricane moved at 145 mph which was expected to reach Haiti on Monday and Cuba on Tuesday. To overcome this disaster, The authorities of haiti had taken the practical anticipation. They had set more than 1,300 emergencies shelter which were able to accomodate more than 340,000 inhabitants. The recent information of matthew hurricane was broadcasted by radio as well, while the rescuers warned the society directly. After passing Jamaica and Haiti, the storm was predicted to destroy Cuba. To anticipate the number of victims, the government moved approximately 500 families to the Florida by military planes. They also established the shelter emergencies in some places.
Aris05   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Why helmets don't prevent concussions and what might; TED [6]

Hai fauziyah, here are my thoughts

The helmet hasn't has not assessed the ability to ...

Helmets hashave not assessed for protection ability.

Shortly, concussion process occurs when brain smacked s with skull and getting s damaged and injured.

That's it. I wish it could be useful
Best regard
Aris05   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Powerful matthew hurricanes threaten Jamaica. [4]

Hi bams, here are my thoughts

Recently, there was occursing an extremely hurricane in jJ amaica and it is called as bmatthew hurricane,

they were it reached the top classification,...

Whereas, run was already fallen in jamaica and it will give big whorst effect in those areas

That's it.I wish it could be useful
Best Regard
Aris05   
Sep 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Some extraordinary events, such as super moon, harvest moon and total blood moon. [3]

September 30 Black Moon Explained

Nowadays, most people are interested in Lunar phenomena as they are able to see an extraordinary event, such as super moon, harvest moon and total blood moon. On september 30, space researchers have predicted a special occasion, called black moon, is going to happen in western hemisphere. However, many people usually call this phenomenon with second new moon. It takes place when the position of lunar between earth and sun.Thus, the light of the sun cannot irradiate the earth. Actually every month just has a new moon, nevertheless there are some different phases causing some months have two new moons. When the phenomena come, people are able to see it without any risks. In some places, new moon is also become a sign of celebration such as in many Islamic countries which use it as beginning of a new year.
Aris05   
Sep 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / A step that we can do to avoid the bad habit [2]

TED : A Simple Way to Break Habit

In this video, the speaker, Judson Brewer, talked about a step that we can do to avoid the bad habit. First of all, he talked that humans have tendency to do act in positive and negative ways and it is automatically recorded in our brain system. For instance, some people do not want to eat too much because they consider about effect sides such us obesity and blood sugar disease. However, others ignore the risks because of some reasons like taste and daily need. In addition, Judson said that many people tend to near what they are suppose to be prohibition because it gives a big curiosity why I have to avoid this caution. As the result, many people are attracted to try harmful action. Many school children, for example, smoke, though they know that smoking has been restricted as provide many drawbacks especially for health. Then, he talked that mindfulness training is able to help people to reduce their curiosity. This method does not avoid people to do something bad instead. Therefore, it will give experience to them. For example, people can try ciggarette if they want. This situation is going to reduce their desire to smoke, while they will get their own experience about it. In this case, people tend to state that smoking is not good and gives them a lot of drawbacks. People have changed their knowladge to be wisdom and it is going to be guidline for making better life.
Aris05   
Sep 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary 2 Pie charts represent water usage in San Diego,California and Worldwide [5]

Hi dioba. here's my thought

San Diego is the region in which havehas the biggest water usage

California is the region which isconsumes the biggest water usage for industry.

On the other hand, only a very small number of water usage utilized by resident in worldwide.
Sometimes you change the position :
water usage
usage of water
water consumption
consumption of water


That's it. I wish it could be useful
Best Regard
Aris05   
Sep 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Suzanne Simard: How trees talk to each other (TED Summary) [4]

Hi sari, here is my thought

Some people consider that the forest is plants-covered area.

but there is an intimated network system that connectsedto each other.

... with research which is discoveryied by scientist while it presents about Pine root ...

That's it. I wish it could be useful
Best Regard
Aris05   
Sep 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / ARTICLE SUMMARY: Playboy Features Muslim Woman in Hijab For First Time Ever [5]

Hi iedha, here is my thought

She ishas totally broken the rules which shows the reality that ...

no longer includesing uncensored images...

She tells playboy readers

she mademakes a choice to join forces with a sexiest ...

That's it. i wish it could be help
Best regard
Aris05   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Meet the First Baby Born with 3 Biological Parents [2]

A recent time, there was an uncommon event when the baby was born with three biological genetic and doctor John Zhang led the childbirth process in Mexico. this news was reported by the new scientist magazine. In the first time, the method actually experienced controversy in particular The United States. However, As professional doctor, Zhang had to save the life of baby. In this case, mother brought an abnormal DNA that can harm the baby's health. Thus, the baby was susceptible to get ill and give a higher risk of death. To avoiding this situation happen is vital to take the partial mother's DNA which carried disease and substitute with the donor's egg. After happening the situation, some health specialist stated that they agreed toward what doctor Zang had done.
Aris05   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Chris Anderson explained about four keys to be an extraordinary public speaker. [4]

TED : Secret to Great Public Speaking

In the video, the speaker, Chris Anderson, explained about four keys to be an extraordinary public speaker. First of all, the idea becomes an important secret factor influencing people to make a good speaker. Idea is an array of information which connect collectively amongst many views . Therefore, it is going to become individual's point of view. Every person has his or her own idea to consider a phenomenon. For Instance, people looking a young women must have different prespective when they have to spell it out. In public speaking, a speaker must have the spesific idea which is talked in front of the audience. It is able to be strengthened with explanation and example as it will be easier to be understood by audience. Secondly, the speaker has to have interesting idea to attract the attention of audience. In this case, Using the new or unique idea can appeal their interest effectively. In addition, starting public speaking with languange which is easy to be got by audience is an essential factor to pull up audience's attention. Finally, the speaker obligatorily ensure that the idea is exceptionally important to be shared since it is able to inspire and give many upsides in human's life.
Aris05   
Sep 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Animals Starving in Venezuela Zoos [2]

During an economic crisis, many animals in Venezuela's Caricuao Zoo, for instance rabbits, tapirs and birds undergo starving since the administrator of the zoo faces the financial problem to buy animal's food. The decline of oil price is considered as a factor causing economic downturn, thus the country may not supply the basic needs and other necessity including animal's food. The zoo's worker have been feeding lions, tigers and elephants with fruits. In the long term, this situation will affect negatively to animal's health , while it is able to impact on psychology at the short time. In may, three animals died causing others are moved from Paraguana Peninsula to a park in Merida. In fact, the condition is not only in Venezuala but also in other countries and has been becoming global problem. In march, 200 animals died in the Khan Younis zoo in southern Gaza because of the lack of feed as the result of the war between Palestine and Israel. In addition, the Taiz zoo in Yemen also experiences the same circumstance.
Aris05   
Sep 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / In this topic, the speaker talks about the idea of mastery and mind [2]

In this topic, the speaker would talk about the idea of mastery and mind. He said that nowadays many people have a trouble with mathematic since they do not understand about that lesson accumulated in their learning. For instance, when getting algebra, students have many gaps in their knowladge because they are not able to grasp the lesson. This case happens as the result of tradtional academic model which point to exponent and assignment each day. Afterward they would get a regular test. The students have artificially constrained their knowladge and take the trouble of identifying those gaps. On the other hand, the concept of mastery learning is oppsite. It prefer to fix the time and duration to learn something. Thus, the model will help students to understand exponents and reinforce their mindset. They are able to master concept of lesson while building the mindset as well. It means that the students will have a strong perseverance to learn. Instead of focusing in the lecture, the class can be more active when student can interact and share their knowledge to deepen their material.
Aris05   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / Creativity is as important in education as literacy and we have to treat it with same status. [3]

In this topic, the speaker would say about creativity. It is as important in education as literacy and we have to treat with same status. Children action often become representative of creativity because they are not frighten to be wrong. Sometime to be wrong will create something new that never found before. However when every child always gets a strong push to avoid the mistake, they will be afraid to do something and their creativity will disappper. Today, this situation common happen . As the children grow up, many people will educate them strictly. In addition, education system is considered in the idea of academic ability, while the main purpose of education is to prepare people for getting job forbid everything not useful such us music and art. Thus many people having highly-talented and creativity hesitate to enter the school because there will not a proper service for their talent. At the end of speech, the speaker said that we need start to reconstruct our mind about the richness of human capacity and remind the principal education. Our task today , we have to make our children understand creative capacities for the richness, so they can face the future.
Aris05   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary TED: Your Body is My Canvas [6]

Hi alam here my thought

... art that usually painted s the object on the canvas.

ButHowever , there is a new method ...

It skips the canvas, so it needs to paint all of the body of object, for instance ear, feet, clooth that ...

That is why she havehas an idea to combine ...

That's it. Best regard
Aris05   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / A Fuel Tanker Fire in Mexico's Gulf Coast [5]

A horrible accident happened in Mexico's gulf when an oil tanker of petroleos mexicanos , called the burgos, transporting about 168,000 barrels had burned on Saturday. However, after having fought to extinguish the fire for a day, firefighting boats could blow out the blaze successfully and they had to use chemical materials against the flame. Fortunately, there are no victims in this tragedy. After this incident, the authority set off inquiring the factors causing the fire in the vessel . In a fact, any oil flow had been averted by Burgos' double hull since the volatility of fuel could affect oil vaporization. Apart from this, actually the burgos had taken step to ward off the oil spill to reach the coast by spreading the booms about a mile of containment.
Aris05   
Sep 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Some editors have a great deal of consideration before broadcasting news on television or newspaper [5]

Writing task : News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers

At the present time, the rising amount of news on television and newspaper has significantly influenced people views. Thus some editors have a great deal of consideration before broadcasting on television or newspaper. However I believe that the good news should be much more reporting than the bad news.

There are several factors which affect the journalist's decision to broadcast and print the news. Firstly, news editors have to ensure that the news is an interesting and latest news since it will give them more chances to appeal people to watch or read their news. when the news is watched or read in big amount , it will impact to company's income. In addtion, they perhaps draw a lot of comercial advertisement of many business companies. Secondly, the grade of news popularity is necessary to atrract the reader. It common happens when people have the strong curiousity toward personal life of well known people such as artist, musicians and the leaders of government institution.

Recently, we know that the local and national media have a tendency to report bad news in many cases, for instance the hedonism of artist life style. It causes many people in particular youngster to imitate this regard. Most of the time, the media also report about other bad news such us crime and corruption. It would be better if good news are broadcasted because it will give the positive contribution to the nation.

In conclusion, there are some factors which affect the news editors' decision to broadcast and print the content of news. I believe that the good news are suppose to have a big proportion to report because it will give more benefit for most people.
Aris05   
Sep 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / News contributor elect what to show on television and what to print in newsletter [2]

hi bams, here my thought

This essay will describe a decided factor influence ing brodcast on television or newspapers.

Nowadays news areis critical things, because audience havecan get information quickly.

audience can be divided in to several types

Active society activeis who frequently get the ...

That's it, i wish it could be useful for you.
Best Regard
Aris05   
Sep 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Some of people think that wealthy life and high salary are essential for personal happiness [4]

Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success.

People have their own meaning of happiness, some of them think that welfare life and high salary are the most essential correlation in personal happiness, but the rest believe that other factors, such as family harmony and healthy life contribute towards achieving happiness. I am going to discuss both views and giving my opinion as a conclusion in the end of the writing.

Nowadays, there is no denying that money has the strong influence in people lives since most people require money to buy what they want to buy. People with the decent job will have more prosperous life than others who don't have proper job because they receive much more money. It will make them have a bigger chance to meet their wants, buying deluxe car and purchasing luxurious house, for instance. In some cases, extra efforts are needed to attain affluence and it will reduce the quality of personal life such as lack of familiy time.

On the other hand, people living in happy family which can accept the real circumstance of family members especially in economical condition can be other happiness sources. For example, in some states one just has middle income or even low income, their family will not give an intense pressure. The family encourage in positive ways such us giving support and motivation instead. Next, health, other factors, can affect toward being happiness. With the healthiness, people can participate in many activities giving them many satisfied experiences.

In conclusion, i would like to say that economic success pertain to personal happiness. however those other factors also have a great consideration in the pursuing of happiness. But, i firmly believe that others factors such us family harmony and health body will be the real happiness in our life.
Aris05   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / History of the first headlamps. In 1831, Horatio Allen founded the track illuminator... [2]

The light was a complicated matter before electricity lamp was founded because the wind blowing were easily to extinguish the flame. In the first time, the train went on a trip during the day since the railway had considered fully dangerous in the night. In 1831, Horatio Allen founded the track illuminator which actually did not cast much light, however it was the remarkable invention. In the following years, oil was used to generate the train through a curved reflector , while Schenectady and Troy Railroad used a whale oil lamp where it illuminated the railway approximately 100 feet . During 1849, The calcium lamp cast the light up to 1000 feet was created, but just two companies used it. Eventually, the train utilized acetyline to substitute oil lamp because it could ride out the wind. In 1851, the first electric headlamp was discovered , however it still had two downsides namely it need its own generator and the parts were fragile during the train travel. In the United States, Goerge C.Payle invented headlamp which was more effecient electricity in 1897. Finally, the invention of electric headlamp facilitated train to travel 24 hours and all climate conditions.
Aris05   
Sep 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing task 5 : The Development of An Island [3]

The two figures depicts the development of an island based on tourist facilities. Overall, it can be clearly seen that the island generally became more crowded with many new accomodations and other supporting facilities like restaurant, reception, swimming area, pier, footpath, and vehicle track without giving impact to natural resources.

In the beginning time, before facilities were constructed, an island just had some trees and beach. Most areas still were empty without any special facilities. Over the time, the island shows a significant development, while many facilities supporting the tourism have been built including accomodation, restaurant, reception, pier and swimming facilities in beach. Although there are so many new facilities built in the island, the trees and plant still exist in the same number.

In addition, footpath and vehicle track have been built to make an integrated tourism facilities. The footpaths were made to connect the accommodation and beach, while vehicle track were built to facilitate amongst the restaurant, reception, and pier.




Aris05   
Sep 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / The historical records notify that the circus (oldest show today) have existed since the ancient era [4]

Summary : History of the Circus

The historical record shows that the circus have existed since the ancient era and become one of the oldest show today. The circus which we know presently still pertain to the ancient Romans where that empire acquainted the circus to the world. The circus maximus performed many shows in large venue for entertaining people. Chariot races, for instance, were the most popular sport, while the other event also held in circus maximus like gladiator fight. The modern circus appeared for the first time in England. By the end of 1700s, Philip Astley, an Englishman, had held the first modern circus, while he exhibited a spectacular stunt riding on horse back. Then, Philip also showed the other entertainments like clowns, acrobatics and trained animal shows. In the early 1800s, the popularity of circus started to emerge in United State. Joshua Brown founded the circus tent in 1825 and utilized it to travel around city to city. What we know as a circus today is adapted from brown's circus.
Aris05   
Sep 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / COMBINED CHARTS; global water usage by sectors; which country used more: Brazil or Congo? [2]

hi bams, i have some thought for you.

The line charts showsRatio global water usethe global ratio of water consumption by sector domestic use, domestic, industry and agriculturesectors.

the table gives

most poeple were used agriculture sector and the ...

According to the information line chart, we can see thatthe utillization of agriculture sector increased steadly at 3,000 cubic

That's it. I wish it could be useful. Best regard.
Aris05   
Sep 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing task 4 : the amount of water consumption overseas by sectors and land [NEW]

The line graph compares the amount of global water consumption based on three different sectors from 1900 to 2000, while the table shows the using of water in Brazil and Congo in 2000. Overall it can be clearly seen that the using of global water showed an increasing trend in every sector. On the other hand , Brazil had the higher amount of water consumption in all variable than Congo.

In the beginning period, Industrial sectors almost had the same amount of consuming water as domestic need about 100 km3, while 500 km3 was used by agriculture. Around the period, the water consumption of three sectors gradually grew even higher, when domestic need consumed the least water at 400 km3 and industrial field used about 1000 km3 in 2000. At the same time, agriculture successfully broke a record as the highest sector which consumed water about 3000 km3.

In Brazil, the number of population was about 33 times higher than Congo in 2000 at 176 and 5,2 million of people respectively. Congo's people consumed 8 m3 where it was less than brazilian at 359 m3. In addition to, 26,500 m2 land in Brazil could be irigated by water and only 100 km2 in Congo.




Aris05   
Sep 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / The coal was the most popular energy source in France - years 1995 and 2005 [4]

Writing task 3 : Comparison Energy of Production

The pie charts compare the percentage of France's energy production in 5 categories in 1995 and 2005. Overall, it can be clearly seen that the highest production of energy was coal, while other had the smallest proportion in both years.

The coal was the most popular energy in France, it successfully broke a record as the greatest proportion by 1995 (29,80 %) and 2005 (30,93%). The production of petro in 1995 was higher than in 2005 at 29,27 % and 19,55 % respectively, when it was also recorded as the biggest difference of proportion. On the other hand, there was a slight increase of gas production in first and second period, when it produced 29,63 and 30,31 percent successively.

The nuclear and other became uncommon energy which was produced in both years. The nuclear energy produced in 1995 was 6,4 % and increased to 10,1 % in 2005. While the production of other was 4, 9 percent and grew even bigger to 9,1 percent in 2005.




Aris05   
Sep 14, 2016
Writing Feedback / A great deal of the birds carry out the migration in every year [2]

Summary task 2 : Bird Migration

A great deal of the birds carry out the migration in every year as long as warm season because the best circumstance can be achieved for laying egg and feeding their cub. The bird migration occurs two times in a year, in the spring and the autumn. During the breeding period, most birds traverse the Northern Hemisphere having higher latitude. Afterward they turn back to the Southern Hemisphere. However, some birds do not conduct a distant migration, as they prefer to breed in the high place. During migration season, the numerous birds travel across the several hundred miles about eight hours a day as the maximum flight time. They use their fat accumulated to be a lot of flesh in the body for meeting the energy need during migratory period. The migratory birds have a natural ability to be the remarkable navigators and intuitive sense of direction.
Aris05   
Sep 14, 2016
Writing Feedback / Men are more likely to sign up for the fitness membership, than women - according to the bar chart [3]

Writing task 2 : Fitness membership

The bar chart shows the number of people becoming the fitness membership, starting from 1970 to 2000. Overall, it can be clearly seen that as long as 30 years the man had the highest rate of fitness membership and the lowest membership belonged to the women group.

In 1970, the number of women joined in the fitness membership reached the smallest figure at 1000 people and the women group registered in 1975 had the same figure as the female members in 2000 where the members attained 2000 people. The following five years, the rate of women members recorded 1800 people and increased even bigger to 2800 members in 1985 where it had the equal numbers with 1995.

The men members had the same number in 1970 and 1990 (2100 members), while the highest number of fitness membership was achieved by the men in 1995 (5000 members). In the next five years, the figure of the men members dropped sharply to only 1000 members. Nevertheless, 4000 men were recorded as the fitness membership In 1975.




Aris05   
Sep 13, 2016
Writing Feedback / The amounts of meat, salt, and fish consumed in China, starting from 1985 to 2010 [5]

Writing task 1 : Food Consumption in China

The line chart compares the amounts of meat, salt, and fish consumed in China, starting from 1985 to 2010. It can be clearly seen that the fish consumption numbers were much higher than other foods.

The fish became the most popular food in China as long as 25 years. The figure of fish consumption always grew even bigger in every year, with rare exception between 1990 and 1995 where the consumption rate drastically pulnged until 100 grams per person in each week. Thereafter the number of meat consumption rapidly increased to 900 grams in 2010.

In 1985, The consumption of salt reached about 490 grams. Afterwards the number of salt consumption always gradually declined and reached the lowest figure in 2010 (200 grams) . On the other hand, the meat consumption had the lowest figure in 1985 (100 gram). Nevertheless, people consuming the meat constantly went up time by time and recorded the biggest number of meat consumption in 2010 where it achieved 200 grams.



  • the line chart
Aris05   
Sep 13, 2016
Writing Feedback / Logging impact. A great deal of the industries commit the activities of cutting down trees. [3]

The summary of Environmental Impacts of Logging

A great deal of the industries commit the activities of cutting down trees. They need it for the raw material of various products. The logging can generate the downside for the environment like pollution, habitat loss and climate change. Trees give the protection to the soil. Their leaves are able to prevent the top soil run off when the rain comes. The roots can avert the direct erosion as well. The felling of the trees directly harms the water habitats because it will speed up the erosion. When the erosion occurs, the materials of soil will consume the oxygen and cause the oxygen reduction in the water. The deforestation also maintains pollutants airborne where the acid rain is caused by this situation. Moreover, it contributes to twenty percent of the carbon dioxide emissions in the worldwide responsible for creating of the climate change.