Writing Feedback / Today, there are many pupils that do not know how to live healthily. [3]

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.
To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Today, there are many pupils that do not know how to live healthily. There are some opinions that school and the parents are the ones who have a responsibility to overcome this problem. Overall, I agree that giving the children education of healthy lifestyle should be given by the school and their parents as the part of their responsibility for the next generation.

It is popularly believed that young generation has a bad lifestyle, especially in the healthy lifestyle. The lack of knowledge is the main problem that they have experienced so far. The children do not know how to be a healthy person and how is the way that the pupils can choose to be a good person. Eating is one of the main concern of being a healthy person, which they sometimes forget to. For example, they do not concern about how much they eat, what time they should eat, and when they should have a meal. In fact, at least 25 percent of the children having an obesity around the world - data from AC Nielsen survey in 2015.

As the ones who are the closest to the children, school and parents have the responsibility to educate their children or students. Based on the research, teaching with the closest one and the one who interacting every day is the most effective way to expand their way of lifestyle. The students can learn how to be a healthy person if the parents and the school teach them continuously. As the result, the pupils will be triggered to have a healthy lifestyle.

All in all, giving the health education by the one who closest to the children is the most effective method to overcome the problem. As the one having interactions every day, the school and the parents are responsible for solving the drawback of the unhealthy lifestyle of children.

Writing Feedback / The kind of problem people often face when starting to stay abroad - according to age. [3]

The chart below shows information about the problems people have when they go to live in other countries. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make the comparisons where relevant.

The chart informs about the kind of problem people were often faced when starting to stay abroad according to age. Overall, people having 35-54year-olds had the most problematic challenge. To find a school for their children was the least percentage of the problem for all age range while for people aged 35 to over 55, sorting out healthcare was the first rank of the problem.

The greatest problem for young age was sorting out the money with just below 35 percent. Meanwhile, only 35 percent of 35-54 years old people finding it as a problem while older people had 29 percent of integration problem on this issue. Sorting out healthcare was the trickiest problem with people range 35-54 and over 55 age. The former had 33 percent while the latter had 31 percent of problems. However, for the young age, only 32 percent of people faced the problem.

Finding a school for the children was the problem for people in the middle age and the young with 19 and 6 percent. For elder people, it was the least problem they faced with only two percent of the people.

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Writing Feedback / The figures inform on the design/location of a machine that can produce electricity from wind power [2]

The diagrams below show the design for a wind turbine and its location. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The figures inform the design for a machine that can produce electricity from wind power and the appropriate location to be placed. Overall, it can be seen that placing the turbine in the sea may not destroy the pleasure of the landscape while the turbine on the hill produces maximum electricity.

The equipment of wind turbine consists of blades created by wood or fiberglass material, wind sensor to detect speed and direction, the generator which can produce 1,5 megawatts power, steel tower, and computer to receive the data and adjust the direction and angle of blades. The process starts when the blades are forced by the wind and the force is converted to electricity by the generator. The direction and blades angle is adjusted by wind sensor and the computer.

The machine can be installed on the hill and in this case, it can be also installed in the sea. Placing wind turbine in the sea may not spoil the landscape while the turbine placed on the hill can maximally produce electricity because of maximum wind strengths. However, the domestic turbine can only produce 100 kilowatts of power.

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Writing Feedback / Do the advantages for starting their own business outweigh the disadvantages? [4]

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

In the modern era when the business is the common thing, there is a popular trend for people to open for business rather than stay as the employee. Even though there are some problems they will face, I believe that the convenience overcomes any drawbacks.

Starting a business is not as easy as we flip our hand. There are many difficulties which often come to the entrepreneur. Some people tend to make their own business without any preparation and it can make the problem getting worse. If the people have a lack of managerial skills, then the employers will lead their company in a red-light condition. Also, competition, sometimes, makes a new culture shock for people who have not a good mentality and valuable business experiences.

However, becoming an entrepreneur is an interesting one. There are many positive things that can be useful for us and people around us. The first one is that we can open the job opportunity. The unemployment issue around us can be easily solved by the appearance of their new company. Also, as the owner, they can control the flow of money which can be allocated to the employee and mostly to the owner so that the owner can increase their wealthy level. The last and probably the most advantage are that the entrepreneur is able to be much closer to their family. They can interact more than they have done before because they work at home.

All in all, I think that the advantages of becoming an entrepreneur are greater than the disadvantages. However, someone that wants to start a new job should make an attention towards their skill because the future problem can only be controlled by their inter-personal skill.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1: Comparison between married and unmarried couple and the effect of children. [4]

The charts below show the results of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US, and the effect of children on the overall ratings of married couples.

The bar chart tells the information about the answer people gave about the satisfaction rates for married and unmarried couple in the United States and the children's effect on their parent's happiness. Overall, the level of the pleasure of married partner is two-fold than unmarried one except for older people and the present of children does not have a big effect on their family.

For the age having 18-64 age, the median percentage of contentment of happy people (43 percent) is almost double than unmarried one (21 percent). For older people, it can be seen that the married people tend to be happier for having 44 percent of satisfaction level than unmarried one which can only reach 34 percent of happiness. The data shows that the happiness rates for American are below than a half.

Children do not affect the happiness of the family. It can be seen that children under 18 only give 44 percent, while for children above 18, they only gave a slight increase by one percent. 43 percent is the happy percentage for a nuclear family without having any child. A small difference indicates that children will not affect the joy of married couple.

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Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2: Is dress smartly more important than quality of work? [NEW]

Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Can a Good Appearance Do a Better Job?

Today is an era when there are a lot of companies searching for an efficiency which can make some advantages for those. The employers believe that the worker should use the formal uniform while the others think that the great performance of work is the first matter.

There is a popular quote: "do not judge a book by its cover". It means that you should not see the personality of people you meet by the clothes that they wear on. Psychologically, we think in the reverse. We always think that the person from its uniform. So that, some organizations believe that when its employee wear the good dress, it can make the company's image better than they are not. Consequently, it can also attract many investors and increase the profit of the company. Also, this is a good way to promote and expand the good perception towards the company's brands.

However, some people believe that quality is everything for the company. The only way increasing the quality of the company is to increase the performance and ability of the worker. If a company does not have a quality, soon the company will move to red-level. But, if the company has the quality, it will be able to increase its capital and soon lead the market as the consequences of having quality. Also, the good foundation of quality can overcome the competition among the companies.

Personally, I think the question depends on the situation which should urgently solve at first. For the company which has a good quality of its employee, the secondary needs such as making a smart uniform is the good thing in order to expand a better image of the company. For the company started in early age, they should focus on how to increase the quality of its employee in order to face the market competition.

Writing Feedback / The causes of losing productivity of global land and the regions affected by the degradation in 1990 [2]

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. the table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1900s.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The figure shows the causes of losing productivity of global land ant the table informs the data about the regions affected by the degradation in 1990s. Overall, over-grazing is the main cause of global soil degradation. The Europe is the region having the highest percentage of land degraded.

It can be seen from the pie chart that over-grazing is the biggest number of degradation with 35 percent. Logging is the second rank with 30 percent. Then, over-planting gives 28 percent of causes of degradation. Other causes can be combined with 17 percent overall.

Europe is the continent that having the impact of soil degradation with 23 percent. Deforestation is the reason why there are many land degraded at that region. The group of islands in south pacific including Australia and New Zealand - also known as Oceania - is the second degraded land which mostly impacted by over-grazing with 11.3 percent. There is no over-planting here. The last region is North America having 5 percent degraded land. The main cause is over-cultivation with 3.3 percent then over-grazing with 1.5 percent.

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Writing Feedback / Who is the responsible for teaching pupils? Their parents or their teachers? [2]

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Having good manners in daily life is the thing that we should have. Living as social creature, we should pay an attention with how to be a good person in large group. This should be taught and started at the early age. There are some opinions that the one having responsible to teach the pupils is their parents. The other group claims that the school is the right place learning this.

It is popularly believed that school is the model of society. The students can learn how to be a good civilian from their teacher. But, in fact, school is not an ideal place to implement their knowledge to be a member of society. There are several reasons why it cannot be the best place. The first one is immature friends. If we compare the object in the school and the one in the society .you will find so many differences such as the way of logical thinking which the majority of students do not have. The second is the teacher which does not teach maximally. There are many pupils in the school and some of them cannot be maximally monitored by the teacher.

How about the parents? Sometimes the parents are underestimated by some people. There was a research at Tokyo University and the result surprised researchers around the world. The most effective one to become the good members of society are started but learning from parents. The parents as the closest one are the effective media to transfer the knowledge. When strangers come in front of you and teach you, will you accept their words?

All in all, I believed that learning from school, especially about how to be a good person of inhabitant group cannot be effectively done by the school. Learning from the parents who are the closest one are the best way to know this. There is a quote related by this topic: "You should learn with the right person and you will find your golden ways."

Writing Feedback / The information about the grade of education of Bulgarian who looked for a chance to live abroad [3]

The bar chart shows about the grade of education of Bulgarian inhabitant wanted to stay abroad in 2002, 2006, and 2008. Overall, it can be seen that secondary education is the most level of the education of Bulgarians while the other levels are below a half.

Started in 2002, the percentage of higher education level stall at 17 percent and there was a slight increase by 2 percent in 2006. Unfortunately, the percentage dropped significantly to 9 percent in the next couple of years. For primary and lower education, the percentage of educational level started at 18 percent in the beginning of the period. There was a slight increase by 1 percent in the next 4-year. Fortunately, the level increased significantly to 32 percent. However, the percentage of secondary educational level remained the same at approximately 62 percent as the median. From the figures, we can see that for higher, and primary and lower education, there is no group that reached a half.

(163 Words)

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Writing Feedback / In the modern world, we compete each other to grab the level of success. We forget about our health [2]

Some people say that in the modern world, it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be.

Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

In the modern world, we compete each other to grab the level of success. Working hard is also one of the tools to get it, which sometimes forget our way of keep healthy. There is an opinion that it is very difficult to maintain our healthy lifestyle when the others believe that it is easy to live healthily.

Busy work is the main cause why people forget to be a healthy person. In fact, 50 percent of workers in Indonesia did not take an exercise almost one year behind. They only focus on their job and they abandoned their healthy lifestyle in order to keep their performance. Next cause is that there is no knowledge of being healthy. They do not know how to make the good meal and too lazy to start a new lifestyle.

However, having a healthy lifestyle can be easy for the ones who want to it. Living in the modern can also accelerate our transform. Today, the internet is the modern platform that can teach ourselves. It can provide the information about how to be a healthy person in just a few steps. They can also allocate their time to do some exercise which is an effective way to maintain their health.

All in all, I believe that living in the modern era as the millennial generation provides some benefits and also drawbacks at the same time, especially in the healthy lifestyle. Although we are living in this are when there are many competitions to grab our success and sometimes our healthy lifestyle is forgotten, we can maximally exploit the technology as the tools for maintaining our health. All we need is our willingness because to be a healthy person starts by you.

(286 Words)

Writing Feedback / The technology aims to change the way we act and communicate each other [3]

The use of electronic media has negative effects on personal relationships between people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Technology is important for our daily life. It aims to change the way we act and communicate each other. The problems such as not having time or distance can be solved easily. However, some people think that using technology affect our relation to others. I believe that using those will give a drawback, especially in the personal relationship.

Using of electronic peripherals is so fun. You can entertain yourself by only one single click and the gadget will serve you anything you want. But, when you are sinking in the pleasure of technology, it will affect your behaviour, especially in the way of communicating to others. If we compare to the situation in the last two decade, they had to meet if they wanted to have a talk. It is totally different in the present when you are only using chat applications and connected every time and everywhere.

Furthermore, it can affect our personal relationship among other. It is common for millennial generation to give the private information to the public. The research conducted by Mr. Akabane Karma at Tokyo University resulted that almost a half of the people using the internet had shared at least two posts which should be private. Some of them created posts about other behaviour, which can affect the relationship between them.

In conclusion, I believe that using electronic peripherals are able to change the way to treat the others. Shared the private information can lead to affect the relationship between friends. As the modern people, the contents we will post should be filtered to avoid the drawbacks to the others.

(265 Words)

Writing Feedback / The survey result about essential soft-skill in communication for daily routines [4]

The table gives the results of two surveys, in 1997 and 2006, in which people were asked which communication skills were essential in their jobs.

The figure shows the survey result about soft-skill in communication which is important for daily routines, asked in 1997 and 2006. Overall, the percentage of people considering that all aspects of communication to employee and public are essentials increased except selling product or service to the society.

For knowledge of particular and dealing with people, there was a significant increase from 35 to 41 and between 60 and 65. The percentage of people asked by advising clients increased by 3 percent from 36. In the reverse, selling a product decreased by 3 percent to 21 percent. These were the aspects of communication with external of the company.

To listen to colleagues was the highest increase of all points by 9 percent to 97 percent. Meanwhile, training people influencing and analysing problems with others had relatively same increased percentage by 5 percent to 30 percent, 21 percent, and 26 percent while making speeches and planning activities had 2 percent of median increment.

(155 Words)

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Writing Feedback / The popular opinion that the company has to focus only on how to make money [2]

The purpose of businesses is to make money and they should concentrate only on this.
Do you agree or disagree?

It is interesting to talk about business today. An issue such as the main purpose of company is the debatable talk because of its complexity. Some people think that business is made to only focus on making profit. However, I briefly disagree with the statement because there are other things that the employers can do.

The ones who only search the way to make their company on the green level always think that their main success is to make money. However, company as the one searching a profit in the other countries has the responsibility to the nation in which they lived. Business is to not only gather the money in the certain country but also overcome the problem in the particular country. Microsoft, having all branch offices around the world, has committed to solve the problem in the nation where the branch on. In Indonesia, several PCs have been given by Microsoft to solve the infrastructure problem so that the education will be available for all students in Indonesia.

Furthermore, they should not only focus on how to make money as greater as possible. There are a lot of good routines that they can do such as gathering with the official to talk about the future condition so that they can solve the problems that are predicted to happen in the future. Also, giving a chance to upgrade the skills of the employee can be useful for the workers. The worker should not too much be demanded about the performance to only focus on making money.

All in all, from the points that I mentioned before, I strongly disagree with the popular opinion that the company has to only focus on how to make money. I believe that there are other purposes that the company can do to not only gather money but also solve the other problems around.

(308 Words)

Writing Feedback / The scheme informs the circulation of air and how the house loses its heat temperature [3]

Writing Task 1, Unit 5D, Page 35
Air leaks and heat loss in houses
The diagram shows how heat is lost and energy wasted in a house because of air getting into and out of the house.

The scheme informs the circulation of air and how the house loses their heat temperature because of the flow of air. Overall, the air located at near heat source goes out faster while the air located at colder room goes into the house.

It can be seen that the source of heat forces the air to move out from the house, such as fireplace, and lamp. Living room is the warmest area in the house because of the fireplace located at the room. So that the intensity of air leaking into and out of the area is the highest than the other rooms. The fan also contributes to move the air circulation in the room and move out the air such as bathroom fan vent, attic hatch, and kitchen fan vent. Some invisible holes also give the impact as the source of the air leaking to the house such as the hole of door, window, electrical outlet, crawl space, kitchen for vent, and dryer vent.

(165 Words)

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Writing Feedback / Charts based on interviewing employee about their relationship with supervisor and colleagues [2]

The charts below show the results of surveys in 2005 and 2009 asking workers about their relationships with their supervisors and their co-workers.

The pie charts inform the survey conducted in 2005 and 2009, interviewing employee about their relationship with supervisor and colleagues. Overall, they were very satisfied with the relationship with the supervisor and the co-workers.

Between 2005 and 2009, the employees were very satisfied with the relationship with supervisor, indicated by the highest level at very good level. There was a slight increase from 61 percent to 65 percent while the percentage of people having fairly good decreased significantly from 34 percent to 28 percent. However, the workers who did not have a supervisor and want to answer increased slightly from 3 percent to 5 percent.

For the relationship with co-workers, they were very satisfied with the relationship with their colleagues, indicated by the very good state increased from 63 percent to 70 percent. There was a significant decrease in the percentage of employee thinking that they had a fairly good relationship between 35 percent and 28 percent.

(157 Words)

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Writing Feedback / The freedom of dressing gives a different opinion among society. [2]

Some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like. Others, however, say that people should not be judged by the clothes they wear.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Today, fashion gives an impact to social culture. Many kinds of fashion are available around us. You can find the religious dress to the rock style one. But unconsciously, the freedom of dressing gives a different opinion among society. Some people think that the clothes they wear will indicate they are like while others believe that they cannot be judged by the clothes they wore. However, in my point of view, it depends on the culture in the place of life.

"Don't judge a book by its cover" is the popular quote for this topic. In this modern era, people, especially in western, are free to express themselves. It is popularly believed that having free expression will give an impact to personal creativity skill. Facebook, one of the most attractive social media, gives the freedom for the employee to wear the dress they want. As the result, almost a half of Facebook's workers are the members of company's creative department and giving the vision of future of the company.

However, for the people living in the eastern, they tend to think that people's personality is the outfit they wear on. This is proven by research conducted by Mr. Nagisa Shiota from Kyoto University in earlier of 2016. Taking the people wearing punk style in Indonesia for example, society thinks that they have a bad attitude. In reverse, wearing "peci" - one of the Islamic - dress will be considered as the good person. Here is the evidence that people tend to judge a person by its clothes.

All in all, for the points that I mentioned above, people with the different culture will give the different point of view of clothing. It depends on what the culture they have. It is whatever you want to choose as long as you enjoy and will not have the conflict of the local culture.

(308 Words)