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Posts by ReskiRamadani88
Name: ReskiRamadani88
Joined: Oct 25, 2016
Last Post: Dec 2, 2016
Threads: 43
Posts: 57  
Likes: 5
From: Indonesia
School: State University of Makassar

Displayed posts: 100 / page 1 of 3
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ReskiRamadani88   
Dec 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / Average distance per person per year in regard to modes of transportation [NEW]

Average distance per person per year. The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.

A breakdown about the number of distance of modes of transport that is used of people in England over 15-year period, begin at 1985 is measured in miles and presented in the table. Overall, it can be seen that, car was the popular modes of travel over that period, and there was upward trend regarding changes of all modes of transport.

to begin with, in 1985 was the smallest proportion than others. It experienced the average distance per person just 13 around four-fold smaller than local distance, bus and bicycle. On one hand, car was the most popular than local bus and other as much as 3199 far bigger than both of them which just under 500. Besides, walking and train witnessed the number of distance no more than 300.

Secondly, in 2000 there was down ward trend in three modes transportation. It is shown by bicycle, local bus and walking just under 300, while others was a rapid increase. The most popular over this period was car at 4806, while the second popular was other at 585. So, it witnessed the number of all modes increase dramatically from 470 to 6475. However, taxi was a small rise by 22 and train from 239 to 366.(206w).




ReskiRamadani88   
Dec 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / In the present, developing of modern technology has made our world better than it was in the past. [NEW]

Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the present, developing of modern technology has made world better than in the past. Some people argue that, the benefit of this situation is the communication of each other people more good, but the drawback of that is make the culture from others people or states become destroy. And personally, I extremely believe that the positive effect of improvement of technology and disagree about the disadvantage that is explained.

Firstly, modern technology brings increase of the changing our world, this situation causes people in domestic can know about the information from international countries. For instance, in the past people just found news in radio and just news from local area, but now from the internet ,television or other facilities we can see anything, however we are not there. On one hand, this situation have made developing countries like Indonesia more familiar , because the information rose rapidly, such as information about the pretty area like Bali, Lombok, or Bandung. Although there is merit about the technology, but some people assumed that it will destroy of different culture, and I tend to disagree regarding this opinion.

Technoology causes societies more underestand with other culture in several areas. We can find this information and learn of culture through youtube without pay accomodation to go to there. So, i think that with the modern technology makes humans more get information fastest and it will not damage other culture of people. It refers to explanation of art and culture agency from United States which explained the modern technology rose of understanding of societies fom different countries as much as 15% and it brings positive effect for developing of the cultures like traditional dance, sing, or other arts.

All in all, the statement regarding the merit of improvement of technology makes people more closer than other is true and really happen and then makinng people understand the difference of other culture in different areas.(320w).
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / SOME PEOPLE THINK WHEN RECRUITING, COMPANIES SHOULD AIM TO TAKE ON PEOPLE WHO ARE INNOVATIVE.. [2]

SOME PEOPLE THINK WHEN RECRUITING, COMPANIES SHOULD AIM TO TAKE ON PEOPLE WHO ARE INNOVATIVE AND ABLE TO WORK INDEPENDENTLY WHILE OTHERS CONSIDERED THEY SHOULD RECRUIT PEOPLE WHO ARE ABLE TO WORK IN A TEAM AND FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

Developing of companies is affected of capability, skills and loyalty by employees. Some organizations have regulation to recruit workers who have the highest creativity and independent habit when working. But other argue, when recruiting people who is accepted are able to work in team and rigorous in operation. This essay will discuss both opinions and personally, I strong believe that people who want to recruited in a companies are depend on the capacity and the purpose or critrion needs to be prioritized more.

To begin with, there are several factors why the company usually accept worker who have innovation and working individually. Firstly, the creativity ways carry a rapid increase and development of them, because they could solve any problem that are unsolved as of now. For instance, a programer , they can find a new design pattern has resolved many issuees software and also optimized them, so that it helps their company more survive in the world industry. Secondly, working individual on some procedure helps to reducing the risk of error and miscommunication. For example, a designer tend to alone when work because they have leeway to take ideas and big creativity which is created by theirself.

Secondly, accepting workers who have capability in work team and able to follow the organization systems is considered able to work in industry level. It is because in a industrial position would be more efficient than one working alone. Team work helps people when there are any difficult and it can be solve together.

to sum up, even in some companies do not recruit employees who are work independently but I believe that firms where creative production needs candidate with innovativeness and ability to work indepentdently. On the other hand, employees who able work in team and follow the system their company are appropriate for position in operation line. (307w).
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / Working hard and strong determination are a way to get our dreams. [2]

Some people think that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. Some, on the other hand, think that there are other factors behind a successful life. Give your opinion

Working hard and strong determination are a way to get our dreams. Some people assume, both of them are the main keys to catch success in life. However, other believe there are other factors which cause people's dreams come true. This essay will discuss both opinions and i extremely believe that hard work and strong push are the main keys to success in life, however big motivation from families be able people goals happen.

Families are a reason some societies hold their purpose in life. As we know that, families always become the first place of people get push. Due to of that, a success usually is caused of that reason. For instance, I have neighbour, she has 5 children , 3 of them aged under 8 and other approximately 9-11 years old. Unfortunately, she had not husband 3 years ago because his cancer. Because of her children, she builds a restaurant and now, she is the one of famous entrepreuneur which able have 7 restaurants and other business. Based on the explanation, we can conclude that the reason why that women success because of her children.

Even though, families can cause people to success, but the main keys is hard work and willpower, personally, I strong believe, without both reasons people can not get their dreams. Based on the phychology article at Australia University, explained 50% cause of people success in Australia is hard work and 25% is big push from their self. In addition, Encouragement by ourself when, doing job is important because humans always have the awareness to make a success as a necessity rather than desire. Thus, the drive to achieve success will be much stronger.

In conclusion, even there are other factors which cause people achieve their achievement but the main point is working hard, and big determination by ourself. (305w).
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Childhood is the period of building skills like speaking an international language [2]

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Children is the period to improve more skills like international language. People regard that studying a foreign language well when they are study in primary school than secondary school. Personally, I believe that learning at the first education in school for children brings more benefit than drawbacks. This essay will discuss the merit of learning at first education of child and then, explanation of negative effect if kids learn other language than their local language.

Nowadays, system education has put international language in the lesson of students, especially primary schools. This regulation have positive effect to increase kids knowledge about another language. Besides, children who have 7-10 years more easy to pick up other languages than teenagers. Because their brain quickly accept information so, it is good way for teaching pupils when they are in primary schools. It is refers to explanation of Putra at Indonesia University, he said 65% children in Bogor elementary school more easy to understand and remember of vocabulary in foreign language than student in high school level. Because child have good ability to memorize in their brain than teenagers.

On the other hand, knowing other language when begin to school more efficient to development career of kids, it directly makes them easy communicating with other from abroad. And when star for the next level education, kids will not get problem to study about international language because they good basic when primary school. However, it is good but there is advantages of this situation. Children will more respect a foreign language than their local language. But it will not have big problem as long as their environment always uses their mother language.

In conclusion, learning other language in elementary school more effective to develop basic skill of kids, so they will not get problem when want to start study in secondary level. Although, it will make them do not more understand their local language.(318w).
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Pros and cons of the education system for kids in their home [2]

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, education system for kids can do in home, it is called homeschooling, some people argue that, developing of children will greatest if lesson is done in home, while other believe that, going to school is better than homeschooling. This essay will discuss the gains this argument, and i believe that teaching kids in school makes them to have good communicate, they can more regulate and explore their self.

Recently, homeschooling have became new way of parents to give education for their children. Teaching in home have benefits such as children more focus on subject that is learned, it is caused they can ask and get more explanations, when they do not understand about the lesson. Children have more time to study and whenever they want. On the other hand, this system makes parents can control their child regarding study and social life. Based on the Australia article, explained that 65% children in Adelaide know about their passion in a subject or learning, and it made them more focus to improve their ability. However, it is a great way to make kids more understand, but it will have negative effect for their socialization with other friends. So, going to school is more important.

School is a place where students can meet more friends, and finding best friend in their social life. They will more explore their self because there are many choice about skills. Teacher have prepared some sports, arts, or other ability which can be chosen of pupils. It is same with studied of Brain at Bristol University, he explained that schools is the best place to make students incline their knowledge in several aspects, and 65% kids more enjoy when they are in school, because they can find new friends.

In conclusion, getting lesson in home is good solution that can be done by parents to control their children, but teaching in school more effective to increase their ability, social life and explore skill of them to face modern era in this time.(333w).
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / The number of foreign visitors who come to the five countries between 1995 and 2010 [4]

A breakdown about the number (...) who come from five countries ...

Overall, the United State has been the highest visitors ...

As can be seen in the line graph, ...

Whereas, Malaysia saw a slight incline during one first decade ...

... and saw a slight grow up with small gap ...
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Children are struggling more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. [3]

"Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives.
What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?


In the present, kids are focused at more pressures from schools or academic activities, social and other suggestions which had became commercial. There are several factors which causes this problems, for instances education system and the biggest promise from parents or environmental. This problems must be reduce with give freedom for student or children to do activities based on their passion or activities.

Developing of science and technology causes more pressure for children. They have been faced in a reality based on the rules or regulation so, it makes them do not have freedom to choose their skills. Education system in some schools has encouraged pupils to know some subjects at the same time and they should understand about that. And the end, they will press their brain and make them stress.

In addition, the biggest hope from parents and social life are the main reason which make students get the highest pressure. Based on the newscientist article, 40% children in Nigeria have faced more pressure from academic, 25% from social life and commercial perspective as much as 35%. Reducing this situation must be done to increase happiness level by kids. Activities which can do parents or teacher to make children have the own passion and free to do anything since it is good for improve their ability. Because more pressure make them stress.

All in all, some parts of life which encourage children to stay in competition and parents who force their children to success causes the biggest pressure. To reducing this situation parents and teacher must give freedom to express their self and ability.(266w).
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Children pressures related to getting a high score in school, bullying, and expensive gadgets [3]

Hello mardian:

The topic discussion is somewhat progressive and connected within the paragraphs, the lack of transition paragraphs to connect the two unrelated essay topic discussions held back the effectiveness of your discussion, you have to focus on how to develop the idea coherently.

your presents some main ideas but these are limited and not sufficiently developed, there may be irrelevant detail, address all parts of the task although some parts more fully covered than other.
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The conclusion after analyzing the bar chart on disbursements in some countries [2]

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.

A breakdown about the proportion of four states namely the United state, Canada, United Kingdom, and Japan which share of expenditures for five categories in 2009. It is presented in the bar chart. Overall, it can be seen that, health care were the smaller percentage than other categories, and housing was dominated in four countries.

To begin with, housing and transportation were the higher percentage than others. It showed above 15% in the five countries, where in United State, housing was the most popular as much as approximately 26%. However, Japan have 10% in transportation categories but other foreign more than that proportion. On the other hand, Canada and United Kingdom experienced share expenditures never under of 15% and above 25% in both of categories.

Secondly, Health care and clothing were the smallest proportion for all of countries. It witnessed no more than 6% and Japan just around 2% for health care. However, in the United state showed shares of expenditures in Health care as much as almost 8% bigger than clothing under 5%. On the contrary, food was the highest percentage then health care and clothing. It showed for four countries the proportion more than 10% and Japan was the highest at approximately 23%.(206w).
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Nowadays, youngsters sometimes are needed for helping to improve communities. [2]

Hello mardian:
Overall your essay is good but your presents some main ideas but these are limited and not sufficiently developed, there may be irrelevant detail, address all parts of the task although some parts more fully coveredf than other.

Coherence and cohesions: makes inadequate, over-use of cohesive devices, presents information with some organisation but there are a lack overall progression.

Grammatical range and accuracy: you make some errors in grammar and punctuation but rarely reduce communication
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / In the globalisation era, children are pushed to be ready for their future live [3]

Hello pram

The reason for the score is that you were not able to properly respond to the prompt. You presented enough of the reasons but you did not offer any expanded explanation regarding possible solutions for reducing pressure In young generations perspective. Coherence and cohesion will most likely fall under a 5 owing to the way that you have some logic to your presentation but sometimes, there is a lack of development in your discussion.

your word choices do not help to develop the sentence and instead serves to confuse the reader instead. Your grammar and sentence structure problems causes some strain on the part of the reader when it comes to trying to understand what you have to say.
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, [2]

A breakdown about the proportion of pupils in high school who passed their exams based on lesson and sex, during the period 2010-2011. Overall, it can be seen that, computer science is dominated by girls and chemistry is the less percentage than others subject which finished by boys.

There are three subjects that have bigger proportion than others. It experiences more than 40%, foreign languages are 47.4% by female and 46.8% by male. Both of them smaller than mathematics which shows the number of students who passed exams is 48.4% by boys and 49.2% by girls. However, that percentage nearly 50% but computer science is the highest proportion as much as 56.3% by girls. It becomes the most popular by female students but just 42.1% by male students.

On the other hand, in exact subject, chemistry and geography are the smallest percentage than others. It can be seen that just under of 15% for boys who passed chemistry subject and 20.1% for geography by girls. Besides, physics above 30% by both sexes, while history shows 25.6% for girls and 22.9% for boys. (I81w).
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / A responsibility of youths, who are aged under of 25, to contribute to communities [2]

Adult youths are often called up for working for the development of communities. Do you think they should work voluntarily or should they get paid? Give your opinion

Nowadays, Having a job to develop a communities is usually a responsibility of youths who aged under of 25. Some people argue that they should work as a volunteer and others believe that they should get paid. I assume that they must get income when called up for working to do maximal job because they have more responsibility.

Adult youths are the periods which have highest creativity, skills and loyalty. It is important to development of communities, so they are encouraged for doing that. Work voluntarily is usually do them because, they argue that why should get paid to communities, while their organization which teach them about other skills such as leadership, social life and so on. But it can make them do not have more responsibility, so they will work based on their self and when they do not have other activities. This situation does not good to improvement of communities, because they can come or go by themselves, whenever they want.

On the other hand, getting money when working in a organization is good for people to make them more loyal. Without paid they will do anything and just come when they think do not have job. Based on the article in Toronto University, 60% of student have great job to improve their community when get income. They are more discipline than other who do not have paid and it makes their community increase rapidly.

In conclusion, becoming volunteer are good for adult youth but they do not have more loyalty and discipline if compare with people who work with income, because they have biggest responsibility.(268w).
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The proportion of pupils who passed the final examination in their secondary school [3]

Hello pram i will give you some suggestion:

Regarding to science program, the students who could pass the physics examination about 36.7% for boy students and for girl students, the graph showed quite little different proportion. Furthermore, the figure for mathematics demonstrated quite the same proportion for both of sexes. Meanwhile, the proportion of boy pupils who success in the chemistry examination was about 14.1%. whereas, the figure for computer science demonstrated about over than 42.1 % for both genders. ....>>> it will good if you make a main idea in the first sentence and then give explanation about that.

Overall, your essay is good, but in lexical resource you use a limited range of vocabulary, but it is minimally adequate for the task. And there was repetitive because of lack of referencing and substitution,
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The information about the subjects of high school exam which are passed by both gender students [3]

Hello ifra, i will give you some suggestion:

... which are passed by males and females students during the period ...

Task achievement: Presents and adequately highlights key futures, presents a purpose that is generally clear, there are in consistencies in tone, addresses the requirements of the task.

Coherence and cohesion: arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall progression

lexical resource: Uses a limited range of vocabulary, but minimally adequate
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The proportion of students, both males and females, who passed their skill exams in high school [3]

Hello mardian i will give some suggestions:
..., by seven different subjects, over a 2-year period isdepicted in the bar chart. ...................>> Inaccurate data :it is just a 1-year period

... that the percentage of girls students who passed........................>>>Girl students

Your task achievement presents a purpose that is generally clear, there may be inconsistencies in tone,
Lexical resources : attempts to use less common vocabulary
Grammatical range and accuracy: you have tried use a variety of complex sentences form.
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Recently, large number of children have a common problem called an unhealthy lifestyle. [2]

Hello, i will give you some suggestions, i hope it will help you

1. Check your sentence

Recently, large number of children have similarities majority of problem called unhealthy lifestyle.

after free time in the school they can eat food which is brought from the house

... come from food which is causingcaused many diseases such as ...

2. To avoid repetition, you can use
Food = Diet, meal
Student = Pupils
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / From January to May, there was a gradual rise of Channel One News viewers at 9.30pm. [3]

The graph below shows the average daily figures for Channel One News over a 12-month period

A breakdown about the number of people watched of Channel One News in 4 different times per day during a year period. It is measured in millions. Overall, it can be seen that a fluctuation viewer at 1pm and 6pm per day.

From January to May, there was a gradual rise of viewer at 9.30pm. It began 3 in January and experienced increase to 3,9. 6pm was the most choice to watch that channel at 4,9 in January, although during that period fluctuated in proportion of viewer. It saw decline by 2 in May. Besides, there was stable trend of figure people watched at 1pm approximately 1,2.

In May-December, there was new time of news at 11pm and the proportion of viewer stood at less than 1. It witnessed upward trend until August and downward over August to December. Afterwards, until August was extremely drop in proportion of viewer at 9.30pm by 2,9 and incline until 3 at December. At 6pm there was fluctuation and decrease at 3,2 while, at 1pm saw a stable trend over a year. (178w).




ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / The number of people from overseas who visit five different states, during a four years period [3]

The graph below gives information about international tourist arrivals in five countries.

A breakdown about the number of people from overseas visited in 5 states during 4 years periods. It is measured in millions. Overall, it can be seen that, there was upward trend in the proportion of tourist came in 5 countries. And the most popular was USA and France.

Firstly, from 1995 to 2000, except USA and France saw a small number of tourists arrived Brazil, Egypt and Malaysia. Malaysia stood at 20 while, Brazil and Egypt at 9. However, there was a gradual incline approximately 5. In contrast, USA was the most popular country as much as 70 tourists, and then rose by 15. On the other hand, a dramatic increase experienced at the number of visitors in France from 30 to 60.

Lastly, during 2005-2010 witnessed an extremely increase of tourists went to Malaysia and France. They were grown up approximately 20. Furthermore, the proportion of visitors in Egypt and Brazil was under 20. Whereas, in USA experienced a small decline by 5. (165w).




ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Over the period of 1980 and 2010, coal was the biggest energy source used in New Zealand. [2]

The pie charts below show electricity generation by source in New Zealand and Germany in 1980 and 2010.

The pie charts present about the proportion of 5 sources to electricity generation, namely coal, petroleum, Natural gas, nuclear, and hydro in 1980 and 2010. Overall, it can be seen that over the period coal was the biggest source was used in New Zealand. In contrast, the smallest source was petroleum and hydro in German.

In 1980, the most popular electricity generation in New Zealand was Coal at 56 units, and it saw an extremely increase to 150 units in 2010. It was also the main choice in by New Zealand citizens. However, just 28 units, it was no change in total units. Furthermore, Hydro was the second popular fuel was used in New Zealand from 1980 to 2010. It rose gradually from 30 to 40 units. In contrary, it became less popular in German.

In 2010, there was extremely downward trend of natural source in both of countries. They declined approximately 26 units, and then plummeted to 2 units in the latter period. On the other hand, the figure for petroleum in New Zealand decreased sharply from 11 to 2 during the period. Meanwhile, in German it inclined by 5 units, which reached at 25 units. (197w).




ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / People should go to a library if they want to find a real information. [3]

Some people think it is waste of money to establish libraries since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information, do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, technology and information were faster than before. Since invention of the internet people more chosen use it in the daily activities, especially in education. As the impact, they are looking for information at home and other argue that building libraries is waste of money. I totally disagree about that statement and believe that libraries are important to incline reader motivation to make a book or research.

Invention the internet in this modern era brings positive effect in developing of education. Because of that, many people have known some research from other countries however, just abstract or the result of research. Besides, human can read book everywhere and whenever they want. Unfortunately, there was also fake information that can find and usually when people open the internet there are porn video or picture. Based on research of Technology information department at Tokyo University found that 35 percent in the several webs there was incorrect data or information. Due to of the reason people should go to library if want to find the real information.

Establishing of library is the best way to make public get more motivation to read and like books. A journal from Singapore University explained that since 2013 motivation to read book have grown up 25 percent because there were new libraries with good facilities and biggest building. In contrast, at national University of Singapore around 30 percent student have made book since establish new library.

In conclusion, however the internet have helped people to get fast information but building libraries is good solution to get more information with reader books, without fake information. (267w).
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Water is the main need of human, every day we use approximately 20-50 litre of water or more [2]

What are the causes of water scarcity? What are your solutions?

In the present, water is the main need of humans, every day they use water approximately 20-50 litre or may be more than that. It is include drink, take a bath, washing and so on. Without water, human's life does not perfect. But with the modern era, crisis of water is rapidly rise and scarcity of water.

There are some reasons, why water is difficult to find. Firstly, the developing of human populations causes water is an extremely use. And it is also needed for industrial, agriculture, environment and companies. Based on Brimingham University Article explained, today the amount of water reached least proportion, approximately 20-30 percent. It is caused the number of people in UK increase 15 percent per year. People should organize their water using.

On the other hand, global warming is one of the reason. Global warming causes change of weather do not based on schedule, such as summer more long than winter. Due to of the reason, when summer water becomes difficult and in several locations have happened dry season. It is refer to explanation of Environmental Agency, they explained drying in some locations in Los Angeles made people lack of water and societies need help of water source. In addition, most companies and inhabitant dispose of household waste or industry source, it make water clean more small to find.

All in all, people must keep their environment and smart to use water in daily activities. If they do not do that, water becomes difficult to find and make it scarcity. (255w).
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Internet will replace library - it's a matter of time [3]

Hello, overall your essay is good.

1. Be careful article (a,an,the) using.
... because they believe(the) internet is able to ...

It is approximately 310 words, it will good if you reduce it maybe around 270-280 words.
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / All university students should take basic science courses regardless of their field of study. [3]

Hello: I will give you suggestion and i hope it will help you.
Overall, your essay is good.

1. Check your comma (,) using
it is a small thing, but important, to make reader understand when read your essay
2. Be careful with spelling

3. You must increase your opinion or real fact in the body paragraph

4. Be careful article (a. an, the) using

5. Check your sentence (s/es) using
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 19, 2016
Essays / Writing about a troubling issue, which is the shyness in my case [5]

Hello, i will give you suggestion and i hope it will help you

I think, if you want to explain about shyness, it will difficult to understand and explain. I suggest you to take a problem in your hometown, such as hygiene problems or educational problem. It more good for college essay. After that give your own opinion what should other people to solve same problem.

Firstly, Explain your main idea in introduction and what the points which is want to explain.
Secondly, Body : Explanation about that problem, how to solve, and write suggestion for other about the same situation in daily activities.
The last : write down your conclusion about your essay.
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / The viewership rate of the news Channel one [4]

... in millions per day. It is shown in ...

Check your comma (,) or point (.) using
It can be seen that(,) the figure ...

... over the time although (,) there were ...

... viewers at 9:30 p.m is(was) lower than ...
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / The number of International holidaymakers' arrivals in five destination countries between 1995/2010 [3]

Hello:

A breakdown of the figure for the number of ...

Figure ....>>> Angka

A breakdown of the proportion of International holidaymakers' arrivals in five destination countries between 1995 and 2010. The data was covered by millions.

... that there were(was) an upward trend ...
... had few tourists in 1995, and in 2010 (,) it had similar number ...
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / A comparison of total units of electricity produce by five sources between 1980 and 2010 [3]

Hello:
Check your sentence;

... between 1980 and 2010 covered by units(because you have explained about total unit, i think this clause is not needed) in New Zealand and ...

Overall (,) it is(was)immediately apparent that ...
Besides, in 2010, there was a rapid incline of total of unittotal units for each countries which , coal was dominated in New ...

Your essay is 233 word, it is too much
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / Every person is different. The happiness depends on people's own. [4]

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

One thing that most important in life of people is happiness. Happiness can find everywhere and whenever we are. It depends on people's own. Some people argue that happiness is difficult to define. And I think it is true. Besides, there are some factors which make happiness, because of the level of person's happiness different from each other.

Happiness is difficult to define because of the view every person is different. Every people have had the level of happiness, which important for their life. Happiness brings positive effect for career, environment, or social life of people. Some people say, happiness depends on wealth, property, healthy body, happy family or beautiful face or bodies. In the present, happiness has been synonymous with wealth and perfect body or face shape. For example, People in Korea have had plastic surgery to repair their bodies or make their face more perfect than before. This is a common thing at the moment. Korean's people feel happy if get the ideal bodies shape. On the other hand, people are busy to their job to get much money, because they argue, having much money are important for happiness, but there are another factors aside from wealth.

Factors are important in achieving happiness are family, best friends, good relation in social life, environment and always grateful. People who always grateful with their life will get real happiness and will not compare their life than others. Having happy family and best friends are important because they will help to solve every problem and give suggestion and directly bring happiness for life. However, the important things for happiness in daily activities are social life and environment. Having good relation with neighbor or colleagues make people enjoy and always grateful.

All in all, happiness is thing that difficult to explain because it is depend on view everyone and the level of their happiness. Happiness is not just about property or wealth but depend on how are we grateful with anything that we have.
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / Reports show that diets and leisure, study were most popular in Sweden [3]

The table above gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The table compares the amount of different items which spending by consumer in five different countries in 2002. Overall it can be seen that food/drink/tobacco were the higher percentage than other items which was bought of consumer, while leisure/education were the smallest items to bought.

Meals were favorite items for costumer from five countries which was the percentage over 15. And the less favorite items were Leisure/education which was under 5 percent. Consumer from Sweden were the larger percentage to bought diets and cost free time/study than others as much as 32.14 and 4.35. Swede was the lowest percentage for two items, whereas consumer spending on foods just 15.77 and 5.40 for clothing/footwear.

On the other hand, costumers from Italy enjoy to spending of clothing/footwear. This country becomes the biggest percentage as much as 9.00 than other country just under 7.00. And then, become the fourth state which like to bough food/drink/tobacco.




ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / After having experience for a year, students are finally understand and know their skills [4]

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Working or traveling after finishing high school is usually doing by young people in the several countries. It happens because some reasons. But if teenagers are encourage to doing that before starting university studies. It will have positive and negative effect for their selves.

Deciding work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies have advantages, which are young people have more experience and new knowledge than other, and then they will more understand what will they take to majority On University. It is caused young people know about their passion. Other than that, people who are traveling on the other Cities or counties will comprehend about the situation every place. It has positive effect for their life in societies before starting university studies. For example: A young people when studied in high school do not aware their ability or still confused to decide department that will take in university. But after having experience for a year they are finally understand and know what are their skill which is want to be developed.

On the other hand, although having advantages when work or travel before starting university studies, but this situation have negative effect. Whereas, when young people have worked and gotten income, they will enjoy and decide to still work and they do not to continue their study. If this happen, will cause some countries just have teenagers who have low education. Having low education can cause lack of economic growth in a country and this situation impact on young people's own.

Based on that, it can be conclude that teenagers are decide to work or travel for a year after finishing high school must know their priority and what are they want after doing that. Because of this have advantages and disadvantages for their abilities and decision, before starting university studies.
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / The amount of merchandise in million tones that has been carried in UK by four modes of transport [5]

The graph above shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant


The line chart gives information about the amount of merchandise in million tones that has been carried in UK by four modes of transport since 1974 to 2002. Overall, it can be seen that, there was upward trend by 4 modes transportation, whereas Road was the highest transport to goods transported in the same period while, Pipeline was the smallest transportation that used to carry of goods.

In 1974, at least 40 million tones of goods transported by Rail and water, Pipeline just under 20 million tones, and the highest was road at 70 million tones. Pipelines and water grow up in 1982, while the Road and The Rail were fall down. However, there was drop and increase of merchandise, between 1982 and 1994 fluctuated in the quality of goods transported by 4 modes transportation. Whereas, pipeline as much as 21 million tones, pail decreased at least 22 million tones, water under 60 million tones and Road fluctuated at 78 million tones.

During 1994-2002 there was upward trend by four transportation and based on the figure, the amount of road which was used was the bigger than others as much as 90 million tones. Others under of 50 million tones and the smallest was Pipeline in the number of goods transported.




ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / Happiness is an abstract thing that cannot be measured. [6]

Hello Aini!

I do not find you answer all the prompt here.
You have answer with good point all the question except "Why is it difficult to define?"

Look at you body paragraph below:

It is the reason why people sometimes [...], or our beloved person.

I think you have misunderstood with prompt.
You explain about why it difficult to find
I think you cannot get the task response with that task
Tenses in your task also have to repaired. I think, it is your big problem.


You should be better for the task.
Hope it helps you:)

ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / The table gives a clue on consumer spending on different articles [3]

Hello Mardian!
I want to give you some suggestion.

it can be seen that food/drink/tobacco dominated

food/drink/tobacco = diet
it can be seen that diet dominated

... which is dominated by Italy at 9 percent

by -> use for the differences
...which was dominated in Italy at 9 percent

The second favorite item was clothing/footwear ...

Just for suggestion, it will better if you use "the things" as comparison not the country.
It will easy for you to make the comparison for each country and each goods.

Hope it helps you :)
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / People have difference ways to achieve satisfaction - holiday assignment on the happiness [2]

Hello Pram!
I want to give you suggestions.

Everybody wants to be happy. I believe that ...

I guess your introduction do not answer the prompt.
The prompt is:
Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

I think you shold say:
1. General statement about happinness
2. Reasons why for some people happiness is difficult to find
3. General view about happinnes's source


Hope it helps you :)
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1 - The graph above shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 [5]

Hello Mardian, let me give you some suggestions
... the number of stuff(S )(It is better if you change it into plural form because there are many stuffs in quantity ) in million tonnes that has(so, then you change the verb agreement ) been delivered by four methods of transportation(s ) from 1974 to ...

After that, in 2001 (be careful l) road hit a high (highest ) point at about 95 which pipeline (was ) still the lowest ...

keep practising
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / Our stuff is transported in various ways. Which method was the most common between 1974 and 2002? [3]

Hello Anna, kindly check my suggestion below :)

Four years later, using road was a slight increase in almost 80 million tonnes.

Four years later, using road was a slight increased in almost 80 million tonnes.

Road was a dramatic incline from 80 to almost 100 million tonnes

Road was a dramatic inclined from 80 to almost 100 million tonnes

Becareful with your tenses :)
ReskiRamadani88   
Nov 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / Punishments based on the types of crime without considering any circumstances of such crime [3]

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be always taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

In the present, crime happen in every countries, cities or areas. This situation cause people get damages, such as theft, robbery, murder, corruption, and other. Some people argue that, there should be give punishments based on the types of their crime without consider the circumstance of an individual crime or their motivation when doing of crime.

Every country has constitution for each crime. Every people have right and obligation when they get punishment. It is function to know their reasons or their motivation why they are doing the crime. For example, one years ago, there are grandmother in a villages which get imprisonment because she had been accused of stealing firewood in the forest. This forest owned by one company and that company dropped it punishment and redress. But after lawyer and a judge know her reason the grandmother free because she does not know if that forest is owned a company because it is near her house. That is why deeply investigation is needed for deciding sentence in crime.

However, punishment given to make people give up and do not want to do it again, but know the circumstance of an individual like their ages, espesecially kids who doing crime or the motivation for committing it should be always taken into account when deciding on the punishment. It is has function to make fair punishment for any kind of crime.

All in all every crime should be get of punishment based on their types of crime but should account the reasons and the circumstance of an individual.

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