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|'maybe talked about food too much' - Why Bates supplement
7 - thank you! well i did add another paragraph about the writing program and how successful they are of getting...
Undergraduatejoke0611 - Dec 22, 2008 / joke0611 - Dec 24, 2008
|Why we should offer that space to you - Buffalo [Revisions Needed]
2 - "What I feel is the most important activity I take part in is volunteering in the elementary school across...
Undergraduateahhitsj0e - Dec 23, 2008 / angel101 - Dec 23, 2008
|Doing research with professors - What is most appealing about Columbia
7 - Sorry Kevin, I have actually changed the content. Do you prefer the former entry? Thanks for editing tho!...
Undergraduateeiiia - Dec 9, 2008 / eiiia - Dec 23, 2008
|I believe that my submission is a strong reflection of my potential (Flex Path Option)
Undergraduatedboyd435 - Dec 22, 2008 / dboyd435 - Dec 23, 2008
|The University of Delaware admission essay - finding solutions to significant environmental issues
5 - ><,thaqnk you for your points. and I am wondering the essay I wrote seems near the following topic. ...
UndergraduateJnae1986 - Dec 22, 2008 / Jnae1986 - Dec 23, 2008
|Common app short answer--SIFE activity
Undergraduatecharliesun - Dec 23, 2008 / hkass001 - Dec 23, 2008
|Cornell College of Arts and Sciences supplement (intellectual interests)
Undergraduatesurfsandiego - Dec 23, 2008 / surfsandiego - Dec 23, 2008
|Claremont College Essay (Leadership, ANALYTICAL ESSAY)
2 - Fairly good overall. A couple of revised sentences for you: "Many are familiar with the concept of justice...
Undergraduatesukjeffrey - Dec 23, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 23, 2008
|why xxx university?
3 - Yes, it is true that watching videos online and studying the website give you plenty of understanding, even if...
Undergraduatezowzow - Dec 23, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|Essay about myself.... in 3rd eyes...
UndergraduateLilyTran - Dec 23, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|Common app short answer, student councilors (Advice on shortening)
2 - Not only because of our shiny pins or because of our representation of the student body, but because we...
Undergraduateimike - Dec 23, 2008 / pyroboy - Dec 23, 2008
|Discussion: Candid or Safe?
3 - Yes, you are right. Big, fat lie. :) And besides, one person's safe is another person's candid. Wait, does...
Undergraduatespiritprimer - Dec 23, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|A volunteer service; Georgia Tech Essay-What would you do?
2 - By gaining leadership experiences and a lesson in community service, I will make my life more meaningful. I...
Undergraduatejusanglee - Dec 22, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|'From the poor slums of Mumbai to America' - Brown application...
6 - Well, it is true that the "experience" you are describing is not clearly pinpointed. Add one sentence to the...
Undergraduatesrirams - Dec 7, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|"I'm from Dubai" - U of Wisconsin essay
7 - hello everybody...this is my revised version of the essay...I changed my approach to the topic and tried to emphasize...
Undergraduateprincetongirl - Dec 12, 2008 / princetongirl - Dec 23, 2008
|UW Personal Statement, your college career to date
5 - Well, you do write quite well, and your long sentences are not run-on sentences. it is good that you...
Undergraduatememelia - Dec 21, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|The Jerome Fish Program ; UPenn Dual Management &Technology
UndergraduatePyramus - Dec 22, 2008 / Pyramus - Dec 23, 2008
|Penn why essay; I want to be a psychologist
5 - Thanks all your guys...suggestion accepted.. Yes, i am from China and English is my second language.....
Undergraduatepenny10880 - Dec 22, 2008 / penny10880 - Dec 23, 2008
|I have earned more A's; About what I believe; Essay for Yale
UndergraduateNikhil - Dec 21, 2008 / Nikhil - Dec 23, 2008
|brown supplements - the response.
4 - Your welcome. Well since Kevin commented on it and he's way better than I am, i dont think there's...
Undergraduatejoke0611 - Dec 22, 2008 / stimpsimp - Dec 23, 2008
|UNC- Best Teacher
UndergraduateChiHF9009 - Dec 22, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|'hard work is rewarded' - common app short answer, cross country.
5 - My most meaningful commitment over the past four years has been running on the cross country team . ...
Undergraduatefastracker91 - Dec 15, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|'words on the website' - Brown: Your interest and your reasons for applying
4 - Just one idea: As I perused Brown's website, I discovered that their program for international studies offered much...
UndergraduateEcho - Dec 22, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|Personal Essay - "I had won first place in a Karate competition"
2 - As we pull up to the YMCA auditorium, my hands begin to sweat profusely. My father notices and asks...
Undergraduatestimpsimp - Dec 22, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|Upenn Essay- the academic, social and athletic networks
6 - Wow, that is good advice, too. Well, keep all of that in mind, and proceed with tons of confidence!...
Undergraduategmailblows31 - Dec 20, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|Common App: elaborate on 1 of your activities (choir of Crescent Girls)
3 - I was in choir of Crescent Girls' School during grades 9 and 10. I participated in it initially due...
UndergraduateBaiwanyu - Dec 22, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|A CULT and YOUTH?- UC Essay Prompt #1. revise.
7 - I was repeatedly taught that I did was not affiliated with any particular "religion" but to a "method" by...
Undergraduatenunya415 - Nov 23, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|'Why' Essay - Go For Wabash ! Go Wally! To Become A Gentleman
Undergraduategetitlow - Dec 12, 2008 / tanty - Dec 23, 2008
|Incomplete cornell - rich, famous.. doctor
5 - "I won't deny that I was quite brilliant in biology, but every now and then, because my father didn't...
Undergraduatepandora - Dec 22, 2008 / spiritprimer - Dec 23, 2008
|'emphasis on individual' - Sarah Lawrence College supplement
Undergraduatecharliesun - Dec 22, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 23, 2008
|"Small tasks" - Common App work experience essay
2 - Grammatical revisions: "Small tasks such as moving boxes or packing documents are just as important as the other...
Undergraduatehbinjo - Dec 22, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 23, 2008
|Helping out at summer school, significane experience. It's for stanford.
Undergraduatejacobose_22 - Dec 22, 2008 / joke0611 - Dec 22, 2008
|common app writing, short (speed-skating)
2 - "I can constantly challenge myself." Defeat isn't quite the right word in the original. "A moment's loss of...
Undergraduatenemrac - Dec 22, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 22, 2008
|Penn supplement -- (Wharton should be a good fit for me)
7 - Yes, but the problem is that business at Penn isn't something you can't get anywhere else. In spite of...
Undergraduatenemrac - Dec 19, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 22, 2008
|'Dr. Franklin Allen' - Penn supplement - professor and why
Undergraduatenemrac - Dec 22, 2008 / imike - Dec 22, 2008
|Common App essay - Orchestra experience
6 - Wonderful essay. I love the imagery you use and the way you conveyed your passion. Great job :]...
Undergraduatevectoraj - Dec 15, 2008 / imike - Dec 22, 2008
|NYU Supplements- all 5, help with strenghts/weaknesses
9 - Well i actually used a rap song for my NYU talent show response. Handlebars by Flobots. Its all about...
Undergraduategmailblows31 - Dec 17, 2008 / imike - Dec 22, 2008
|ECONOMICS, CHINA & ASIA PACIFIC STUDIES; Cornell college of arts and sciences
Undergraduatewongxy - Dec 22, 2008 / wongxy - Dec 22, 2008
|'My top colleges / Kind to others' - Lehigh University
UndergraduateYoshipupdude - Dec 21, 2008 / Yoshipupdude - Dec 22, 2008
|Common App - Person of Significance (Never hurt anyone or anything)
2 - Hello Mehmet, In my opinion (It's your choice to accept or reject), I think you only recite what...
Undergraduatelighter3891 - Dec 22, 2008 / Ivy_91 - Dec 22, 2008
|CALS (committed to the improvement of life) - review and advice
7 - Thanks :). Feel free to check the FAQ section or the EssayForum Contributors page for more information. EssayForum.com...
Undergraduatejoshua - Dec 19, 2008 / EF_Team - Dec 22, 2008
|Rochester Essay - Supp. (secluded from society)
2 - I think that you start out well..as in the direction that you intend to in would lead into an...
Undergraduatenunya415 - Dec 22, 2008 / fastracker91 - Dec 22, 2008
|"Spirit Club" - your activities essay
2 - Honestly, this depends on which school you are applying to. If it's not the top Ivy Leagues, I...
Undergraduateyourichang - Dec 22, 2008 / Angela629 - Dec 22, 2008
|common app short (keen on becoming a member of the student body)
Undergraduatepinkrink - Dec 20, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2008
|why do you want to attend pratt? 'my interest in architecture'
3 - I had always thought that one was either good at art or not, naturally; however, my artistic abilities have...
Undergraduatecalico0605 - Dec 21, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2008
|Common Application Essay (My Transition to High School)
3 - It could work out okay if you expand the meaning by concluding with a revision of that saying. Perhaps...
UndergraduateCellerdoor - Dec 21, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2008
|Which essay should I use as my Common App essay?
6 - Oh... yes, I prefer the first one, I guess, but they are both good! Sometimes you have to choose...
Undergraduatealicimoo - Dec 20, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2008
|Evaluate a significant experience you have faced and its impact on you.
6 - Nope, that means to surround something. You are trying to say that is .. maybe... pierced them? ha ha,...
Undergraduateatomvik - Dec 20, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2008
|NYU short answers - Trait, NYC, talent, academic program
2 - Here's another one In addition to any work experience that you listed on your application, please tell us...
Undergraduatesilversweet - Dec 22, 2008 / silversweet - Dec 22, 2008
|UIUC essay 1 (the fields of business and accounting)
3 - Here is a fix for the ending: Business is the heart of my academic and professional interests, but...
Undergraduateprincetongirl - Dec 21, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2008
|I was presiding at piano in a 13-piano-ensemble at The Cemetery for Martyrs in April 2006.
3 - Better to write out the numbers, so it looks nice: I was presiding at piano in a thirteen-piano...
Undergraduatecharliesun - Dec 21, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2008
|"Computer game" + "Stock market" - Common Application Essay
Undergraduatejohnbian8308 - Dec 22, 2008 / — -
|u michigan short answers essay
3 - wow~ It is really helpful for me! I didn't know that I can find this great helper online. Thank...
Undergraduateomgomgomg - Dec 21, 2008 / omgomgomg - Dec 22, 2008
|A Question - , an Egyptian - American woman/ College essay
2 - I would strongly advise cutting the first two paragraphs. For some reason, they have an undeniably soporific effect, though...
Undergraduatenoureiny - Dec 21, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 22, 2008
|Common App Essay (Anti-Americanism)
UndergraduateJustGlaze - Dec 20, 2008 / JustGlaze - Dec 21, 2008
|Princeton - Significant Person - my mentor Mr. Mehmet Yuksel
Undergraduatelighter3891 - Dec 21, 2008 / lighter3891 - Dec 21, 2008
|'the president of Taekwondo Club' - common app short answer - extracurricular
UndergraduateSapphire - Dec 21, 2008 / Sapphire - Dec 21, 2008
|"a fatal mistake" - CommonApp Essay 1
UndergraduateIvy_91 - Dec 13, 2008 / Ivy_91 - Dec 21, 2008
|"Why Colorado College" essay
2 - It's not too personal. It's quite good in that regard, actually. I'd do something about the order of your...
Undergraduatebatdoi - Dec 21, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 21, 2008
|Recalling three years that have passed. Personal essay on volunteer experience!
8 - This is much more interesting to read. A definite improvement. The excitement now comes from your own clearly stated...
UndergraduateAmyRemus - Dec 19, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 21, 2008
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