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|"A reason to everything that happens" app essay- revision?
Undergraduatexsilverlovex - Dec 23, 2008 / xsilverlovex - Dec 26, 2008
|Common Application Essay: personal/local concern and its importance
2 - Sights in India are often quickly associated with street cows, monuments, festivals and modernization, which I do not deny...
Undergraduateexperimentalist - Dec 25, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2008
|Rice Supplement- Cultural Essay
UndergraduateChiHF9009 - Dec 24, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2008
|Common App essay - Uniquely "Un-Asian"
5 - Yes, change it to Malaysian, so it is more specific and descriptive. Words and phrases are like employees; the...
Undergraduatelali - Dec 25, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2008
|'earthquake-hit areas' - Sarah Lawrence essay about changes
4 - "You're going to study abroad? What's your major?" I knew my answer. To say, "It's undecided," was thought to...
Undergraduatevan_gogh - Dec 25, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2008
|Among all majors, I believe engineering helps us enhance our lives; Columbia Short Answers
UndergraduateJJBrown - Dec 24, 2008 / JJBrown - Dec 26, 2008
|'Ambiguity ' - University of Virginia (favorite word)
2 - Ambiguity seems to bother some, and this is understandable . The ambiguous nature of literature also enables me...
Undergraduatealice955 - Dec 25, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2008
|"integrity"; This is the idea that I would like to convey, does it make sense and read well?
3 - At, the Pizzeria however all of my effort was ignored --- The comma should be removed you focused...
Undergraduatepurple92 - Dec 26, 2008 / imike - Dec 26, 2008
|Common app essay: Topic of your choice ("a flower vase")
Undergraduatenylrej - Dec 22, 2008 / nylrej - Dec 26, 2008
|Common Application Short Response(Activity-Cambodia trip)
Undergraduatealice955 - Dec 25, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2008
|Common App Essay - Topic of your Choice (My passion for public speaking?)
2 - Well, the first part of that last paragraph is good... but you can conclude with mention of how your...
UndergraduateUnicornsnowind - Dec 25, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2008
|Common app essay (topic of your choice) - Fly high
Undergraduatechocolatelee - Dec 25, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2008
|FIT Essay - Fashion and Wall Street job
5 - Thanks for the feedback, everyone! Another question for you guys? Do you think the beginning of my essay...
Undergraduateblackkpearl09 - Dec 23, 2008 / blackkpearl09 - Dec 26, 2008
|Listening to calm, soothing music; MIT short answer/ What I do for pleasure
4 - how about adding a little more detail to make it interesting? example : " listening to Bach, i...
UndergraduateSapphire - Dec 25, 2008 / gmanz - Dec 26, 2008
|Princeton supplement (a favorite quotation from an essay or book)
4 - Honestly, I would come up with another topic and write a new essay. This essay says nothing about you...
Undergraduatenadirw - Dec 24, 2008 / Chink - Dec 26, 2008
|Cornell CAS essay; enable me to try the impossible - dream of being a pharmacist
2 - I have dreamed of becoming a pharmacist or pharmaceutical researcher since my freshman year. The dream seemed like a...
Undergraduateluv4evr - Dec 24, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2008
|Leaving everything I cherished in Thailand / "Kindness holds up the world"
UndergraduateForgott3n - Nov 29, 2008 / van_gogh - Dec 26, 2008
|'her parent's divorce was for the best' - Apply Texas
Undergraduatebabyqu33ns - Dec 24, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2008
|'anti-death penalty' - commonapp essay: issue you concerned and why it is important
2 - A good essay but try to relate yourself into this issue...don't give what can be found in books or...
Undergraduategooddog - Dec 25, 2008 / experimentalist - Dec 26, 2008
|'famous for its English and Humanities' - Why Hamilton College?
3 - Yeah, even though the luck thing is kinda true, we can't write it in the essays, can we...lol ...
Undergraduatelast_min_girl - Dec 25, 2008 / last_min_girl - Dec 26, 2008
|NYU summer activity (other colleges I visited paled in comparison)
8 - well, my suggestion is that you could summarize like that " the visit to NYU made me learn more...
Undergraduateimike - Dec 23, 2008 / justinwang - Dec 25, 2008
|CommonApp Short Answer: elaborate on one of your activities
11 - I like where you were headed at the end. The statment about how it "helped me gain a greater...
Undergraduatepencil - Dec 20, 2008 / purple92 - Dec 25, 2008
|"undecided"Cornell supplement (interests essay)
Undergraduatepurple92 - Dec 24, 2008 / purple92 - Dec 25, 2008
|"Who Am I?" -- Common App Essay
7 - Wow, thanks for the comments everybody! I didn't expect so much praise for this essay at all. Thanks for...
Undergraduateshayonsaleh - Dec 24, 2008 / shayonsaleh - Dec 25, 2008
|"It is hard for an empty bag to stand upright." - Benjamin Franklin quote
7 - well you must remember that this is not your ordinary high school essay on benjamin franklin. I'd spend a...
Undergraduateomarerchid - Dec 25, 2008 / zowzow - Dec 25, 2008
|Common application essays, need opinions (one of two to choose from)
5 - Thank you for all of your opinions... I really appreciate them... Would you give me any grammatical advice?...
Undergraduatecandyapple - Dec 23, 2008 / candyapple - Dec 25, 2008
|Yale hold a legacy ; Why Yale, 500 characters only?
6 - mmh, I'll try to rewrite it by targeting one or two things instead of all these things. It's just...
Undergraduatealicimoo - Dec 25, 2008 / alicimoo - Dec 25, 2008
|With the help of Frida Kahlo I learned to embrace my unique looks, show the real beauty
NEW - edits and input please!! Frida Kahlo self-portraits prompt : what work of art, music,science and mathematics, or...
Undergraduategmanz - Dec 25, 2008 / — -
|Virginia supplement ( the world where I come from)
Undergraduatejustinwang - Dec 24, 2008 / owojcik7 - Dec 25, 2008
|Common application short answer--internship at a department store
NEW - In July 2007, I worked as an intern for 4 days at Zhongyou Department Store. I was assigned to...
Undergraduatejohnbian8308 - Dec 25, 2008 / — -
|NYU short answer+common app (Cambodia, English book)
Undergraduatealice955 - Dec 21, 2008 / alice955 - Dec 25, 2008
|Four Short Answer Questions (family, club, song, why this college)
Undergraduatetonydengcnu - Dec 23, 2008 / tonydengcnu - Dec 25, 2008
|My experience ("never a peaceful moment in my house")
UndergraduateSapphire - Dec 24, 2008 / Sapphire - Dec 25, 2008
|Common app short answer (Academic League)
Undergraduatesurfsandiego - Dec 24, 2008 / surfsandiego - Dec 25, 2008
|UC essays - My NSS Story + A GAME TO REMEMBER
3 - Hey Yea you are right about the titles. Will try to do something about that. And thank you for...
Undergraduatepallakg - Dec 22, 2008 / pallakg - Dec 25, 2008
|Yale supplement essay ("Razia Auntie's house")
Undergraduateangel101 - Dec 23, 2008 / angel101 - Dec 24, 2008
|UPenn Why Us (5 points)
2 - Meeting different people every day sounds exciting. I believe learning in such a big community gives a global perspective...
Undergraduateshok - Dec 24, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2008
|Stanford Essay #2 (What your freshman roommate should know about you)
UndergraduateIvy_91 - Dec 23, 2008 / Ivy_91 - Dec 24, 2008
|Why Northwestern? NU will be the place for me.
Undergraduatebhangra369 - Dec 23, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2008
|SUNY Old Westbury Essay - Challenges you expect to face
2 - "Besides dormitory living conditions and a substance free-living environment, the most significant challenge I will have to face is...
UndergraduateCrackberry - Dec 23, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2008
|Stanford Essay - Global warming
Undergraduatejacobose_22 - Dec 23, 2008 / jacobose_22 - Dec 24, 2008
|things that we dont want to do and still do - essay feedback
Undergraduateray2008 - Dec 23, 2008 / ray2008 - Dec 24, 2008
|Common App Essay - Does this tell enough about me?
4 - Thanks for the comments and feedback. I really appreciate them a lot. You guys just like, instilled me with...
Undergraduateilikefood - Dec 21, 2008 / ilikefood - Dec 24, 2008
|"Imagine a room" - CommonAPP essay
Undergraduatemustaa - Dec 19, 2008 / mustaa - Dec 24, 2008
|Explain what has lead you to chooses your career path
Undergraduatehkass001 - Dec 23, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2008
|rough draft: academic/career/life goals. ideas are welcomed
2 - I've seen good friends turn into thieves and become apathetic about the suffering of their community because of the...
Undergraduatedarkknightgaury - Dec 23, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2008
|'DNA and my future biological studies' - Cornell Arts and Science Supplement.
6 - Chink, I have often thought that you would make a good contributor! Please check out the contributor page! The...
Undergraduatejoshua - Dec 23, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2008
|Common app essay help (karate as a means to build my character)
4 - Nope, don't be stressed. If college, and the careers it prepares you for, are causing stress, it defeats the...
Undergraduateimike - Dec 22, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2008
|Florida State University Essay-- the summer before my senior year
4 - Yes, I agree with this advice about the weakness of the first paragraph. Try starting with paragraph two, which...
Undergraduatemlechik10 - Dec 23, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2008
|The world is currently in a major crisis. Common App - Issue of Concern
9 - Three SATs, a few applications, and an onslaught of essay requirements have worn me out. Oh... I see...
Undergraduatelighter3891 - Dec 20, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2008
|'amazed by electricity' - Petroleum engineering Admission Essay
2 - I'll put a period after his quote here: "Scientists dream about doing great things. Engineers do them" (-James...
Undergraduatesamydude - Dec 23, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2008
|common app essay-nigerian culture
2 - This is excellent. I see no errors, and I am impressed by your thoughtfulness. I think the admissions person...
Undergraduatejoke0611 - Dec 23, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2008
|"Unpatriotic" MIT Essay; Describe the process through which you discovered value in the negative.
UndergraduateREJECTED - Dec 16, 2008 / NotAnHero - Dec 24, 2008
|'Involved in research' - MIT short answer - which department?
UndergraduateSapphire - Dec 22, 2008 / Sapphire - Dec 24, 2008
|Common App Essay (my father's watch)
Undergraduateshok - Dec 20, 2008 / shok - Dec 24, 2008
|'maybe talked about food too much' - Why Bates supplement
7 - thank you! well i did add another paragraph about the writing program and how successful they are of getting...
Undergraduatejoke0611 - Dec 22, 2008 / joke0611 - Dec 24, 2008
|Why we should offer that space to you - Buffalo [Revisions Needed]
2 - "What I feel is the most important activity I take part in is volunteering in the elementary school across...
Undergraduateahhitsj0e - Dec 23, 2008 / angel101 - Dec 23, 2008
|Doing research with professors - What is most appealing about Columbia
7 - Sorry Kevin, I have actually changed the content. Do you prefer the former entry? Thanks for editing tho!...
Undergraduateeiiia - Dec 9, 2008 / eiiia - Dec 23, 2008
|I believe that my submission is a strong reflection of my potential (Flex Path Option)
Undergraduatedboyd435 - Dec 22, 2008 / dboyd435 - Dec 23, 2008
|The University of Delaware admission essay - finding solutions to significant environmental issues
5 - ><,thaqnk you for your points. and I am wondering the essay I wrote seems near the following topic. ...
UndergraduateJnae1986 - Dec 22, 2008 / Jnae1986 - Dec 23, 2008
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