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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 454)

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Obedience and Disobedience in their extremes!

2 - After you make this assertion, you have to give the 3 body paragraphs. One is for laws, the...

Writing Feedbackcraver - Apr 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 8, 2010
Paper on ethics of animal research.

3 - Because of extremely advantageous health advancements that have benefited, and will continue to benefit, the lives of human beings,...

Writing Feedbackgeorgexu316 - Apr 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 8, 2010
TOEFL essay: People have too much free time nowadays. Do you agree or disagree?

4 - I see what you mean Kevin. This occurs because of my inattentiveness. Thank you for pointing it out. I...

Writing FeedbackAzeri - Apr 6, 2010 / Azeri - Apr 8, 2010
Violance Against Women

2 - In western countries women are more independent and more-ormore or less equal to male in the society. It is...

Writing Feedbackasokapalama - Apr 7, 2010 / zhangqin - Apr 8, 2010
TOEFL essay: The automobile is destroying our quality of life.

9 - I have placed a new one. Thanks in advance....

Writing FeedbackAzeri - Apr 4, 2010 / Azeri - Apr 7, 2010
TOEFL essay: government should spend as much money as possible on social issues

7 - Oh, I see! Well, you create a problem when you refer in general to social issues. Social issues...

Writing FeedbackAzeri - Apr 2, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 7, 2010
"The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare." GRE issue

3 - Human beings, no matter how strong and unconquerable, yet must nevertheless yield to destiny. Your way was not wrong;...

Writing Feedbackclaire echo - Apr 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 7, 2010
'teacher is a challenging career' - What makes a good teacher?

10 - Well, this part has some room for improvement: There is no point giving students tons of homework if...

Writing FeedbackPhoebe Su - Mar 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 7, 2010
Does having a lot of options make people happy?

2 - Funny situation. Are you saying that your teacher gives you good marks/scores/grades even though you thought this was a...

Writing Feedbackstranger4ever - Apr 6, 2010 / meisj0n - Apr 6, 2010
TOEFL:plan activities for the free time

3 - I liked the essay.I think it would be better if you add more introgative statements in the begining.(that is...

Writing Feedbackdjanat - Apr 5, 2010 / stranger4ever - Apr 6, 2010
What Is Common Sense?

5 - Thanks ,I am really glad to know others oppinion ,I liked all the comments, I will try to use...

Writing Feedbackstranger4ever - Apr 5, 2010 / stranger4ever - Apr 6, 2010
"A neighbor riding with a drunk guy and letting go" - Discription Essay

6 - Good! The thing that can help is to know how to express it all in a succinct way, because...

Writing FeedbackEma - Apr 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 6, 2010
MEDIA SENSATIONALISM AND TYRANNY

NEW - MEDIA: A NEW AGE TYRANNY Debate is rife whether the Media whose primary role is to inform, is...

Writing Feedbackoluoch - Apr 6, 2010 / — -
Positive steps that you and I can take to tackle climate change

4 - what positive steps can you or I start to tackle climate change? Ice caps disappearing, rising sea levels,...

Writing Feedbackyuda123 - Apr 3, 2010 / SaveTheEarth - Apr 5, 2010
Should government funds be used for space exploration?

3 - have been passionate predators explorers of the unknown. ... "One tiny step forward by man and...

Writing Feedbacklovinglife77 - Apr 3, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 4, 2010
Essay about "My weekend".

2 - In On the weekends, some people go to visit their relatives or shopping or even go to ...

Writing FeedbackBarbiah - Apr 3, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 4, 2010
GRE AW Issue 69. "Government should place few, if any, restrictions...

6 - Yes, differences are subtle!! That is why I tell people to practice by reading aloud. You have to...

Writing Feedbackjade - Mar 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 4, 2010
Comparison and contrast between Palestine and USA

8 - That means it is the kind of compare contrast essay called "opposing." Google this for a good...

Writing Feedbackmary123 - Mar 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 4, 2010
The line chart illustrates the change in the use of new technology in general families in Britain

3 - The line chart illustrates the change in the percentage of new technology which is used in general families in...

Writing Feedbackzhangqin - Apr 2, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 4, 2010
Is it better for people to be realistic or optimistic? - Feedback

5 - Goals----> "them" It not only makes your goals look achievable, but also propels you into actually realizing them. ...

Writing Feedbacklovinglife77 - Mar 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 3, 2010
IELTS: The Natural Resistance to Changes（reason and solution）

3 - The statement asks you what kind of problems this can cause, but you wrote about causes that contribute to...

Writing Feedbackzhangqin - Apr 2, 2010 / Azeri - Apr 2, 2010
Too much attention is paid to and too much money is spent on keeping pets

2 - First, the sentence "Although people throughout the world are starving and other people spent too much money on keeping...

Writing Feedbacknittuot - Apr 2, 2010 / Azeri - Apr 2, 2010
TOEFL:people learn in different ways and what teaching method do you prefer?

2 - They use several ways methods to broaden their... One of these several methods of ... your self...

Writing Feedbackdjanat - Apr 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 2, 2010
Teaching of music, art, and drama are critical in revealing hidden abilities of children

3 - Thanks for your comments and for your help. I appreciate it....

Writing FeedbackAzeri - Mar 27, 2010 / Azeri - Apr 2, 2010
Obesity is a big problem in most of the countries

3 - Is that right?? I didn't know about that! that is quite impressive. I think it is such a...

Writing Feedbackmegha - Mar 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010
IELTS essay: Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare.

4 - As a result the changes, people's eating habits have also changed significantly over few decades. Use "and" before...

Writing Feedbackindrukas - Mar 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010
toefl writing paper ---why people attend college

2 - If you have a college education you will make more money, which in turn will enable you to have...

Writing Feedbackcietzsche - Mar 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010
GRE issue41---nonmainstream areas of inquiry VS mainstream science

2 - Admittedly, these non-mainstream areas, which belong to the ideology sphere, can... In the first place, because these pursuits...

Writing FeedbackJulia zeng - Mar 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010
"try to live within your means" - my Cause and Effect Essay

4 - You are welcome!! Well, you can practice by helping around here sometimes essayforum.com/ef-contributor-page/ we need people with life experience...

Writing Feedbackhtrrkt - Mar 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010
Write about your life ten years from now (100 words)

2 - --- tell them that study and work are both ongoing. I myself sometimes wonder... Furthermore, I...

Writing Feedbackoldbabie - Mar 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010
Edit essay - better life today vs. in nineteenth century - feedback

3 - Living in the contemporary world has many more advantages than living in the nineteenth century. --- Yeah, until some...

Writing Feedbacklovinglife77 - Mar 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010
university dormitories or apartments?

2 - Because student residences are safe, propitious from financial standpoint, and collective student life.--- this sentence is incomplete. It needs...

Writing Feedbacksamir614 - Mar 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010
Short Opinion Essay on Julio Cortazars "Night Face Up"-Feedback

2 - In that first paragraph, you tell us many things about the story, but you don't clearly establish a theme...

Writing FeedbackBilal815 - Mar 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010
Proportions of males and females - practising to write essays on interpretation of charts

3 - The graph compares the proportions of males and females in the highest qualification achieved for working age of population...

Writing FeedbackCharlesL - Mar 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010
Transitions in a human life

3 - There are many transitions in the life of human. The stage of maturity is often to be respected the...

Writing Feedbackautumnwave - Mar 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 31, 2010
"Eco Friendly India". TOEFL essay.

3 - thank you for the feed back....

Writing Feedbackmegha - Mar 18, 2010 / megha - Mar 31, 2010
Rhetorical Analysis - Advertisement photos

2 - Right after this, add another sentence before ending your first paragraph. Make it a thesis statement that clearly...

Writing FeedbackShelty - Mar 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 30, 2010
"the real reason for the Yosemite decline" - my argument essay

5 - EXCELLENT! Clearer than my guilding book. I Got it! thanx so much, I'll rewrite it later. :P...

Writing Feedbackjade - Mar 25, 2010 / jade - Mar 30, 2010
Response to Scholarly Reading of Paulo Friere's "Banking" Concept of Education

3 - Yes, thats good idea, I will do that way....

Writing Feedbackalina967 - Mar 23, 2010 / alina967 - Mar 30, 2010
Living in the country or city? Living in the country aint all that you think!

3 - Therefore you have to go ... if you like going without money ... ...the country have has less...

Writing Feedbackjr24 - Mar 28, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 29, 2010
The legal drinking age in Ontario

4 - I think you should scratch out this sentence and replace it with a sentence says something about countries with...

Writing Feedbacknafiro - Mar 28, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 29, 2010
GRE ISSUE221 The chief benefit of the study

5 - Yes, I did find another one: Although time and tide elapsed, these inspiring words of Sphinx can still be...

Writing Feedbacksnowdropie - Mar 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 29, 2010
Tony Hoagland's "Romantic Moment" -- personal response essay

4 - Thank you very much for your reply!...

Writing Feedbackmbiscoe25 - Mar 4, 2010 / mbiscoe25 - Mar 28, 2010
IELTS essay-sports professionals people vs.people in other essential professions

2 - There has been some debate over whether athletes should get higher incomings incomes compared with... It is...

Writing Feedbackgmt_snail - Mar 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 28, 2010
Computers and operation systems - My introduction

5 - How about "compete to" instead of "compete about" ...are competing about releasing to release the best operating systems....

Writing FeedbackRaz - Mar 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 28, 2010
A woman's place should be in home?

8 - That is an important point, thanks! However, I don't see any contractions in the essay. Some words...

Writing Feedbackhungvud - Mar 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 27, 2010
ielts:role of computers in education

4 - Firstly, they prepare a friendly atmosphere in class. i recommend you dicuss more here....

Writing Feedbackgingerpopo - Mar 23, 2010 / gmt_snail - Mar 27, 2010
TOEFL:People enjoy change.others like their lives to stay the same

5 - thank u wang for the time that you have spent to edit my essay zhiyang , this topic...

Writing Feedbackdjanat - Mar 23, 2010 / djanat - Mar 26, 2010
the effects of stress (cause and effect paper)

11 - Here is another way to improve this sentence: Considering the fact that everybody deals with puzzling matters everyday, it...

Writing Feedbackbrooke4013 - Feb 10, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 26, 2010
"How people look, dress & act reveals their attitudes and interests" -GRE ISSUE

5 - Thank you! Kevin~...

Writing Feedbacksnowdropie - Mar 24, 2010 / snowdropie - Mar 26, 2010
Take caution (one important aspect of your character)

2 - No need for drastically here, because it has no meaning in the sentence: Time drastically came to a halt...

Writing Feedbackmegdance48 - Mar 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 24, 2010
Is Technology changing the world for better?

4 - to lead a live where we know when we have a sufficient amount of material comforts. material is always...

Writing Feedbacklongwu - Mar 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 24, 2010
DREAM BRING ME TO ANOTHER WORLD

4 - She was right to say that, because it applies in many situations in real life. But there are some...

Writing Feedbackautumnwave - Mar 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 24, 2010
Toefl integrated essay：Were there life-form on Mars？

4 - Good example! These have slightly different meanings, though!! If you say it completely refutes the passage, it sounds...

Writing Feedbackodie6467 - Mar 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 24, 2010
"Preventing Herpes" - Current Issue in Public Health using an article about health problem

9 - I think this should be two sentences instead of one: Herpes is one of the most co mmon sexually...

Writing Feedbackcomet2000 - Mar 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 24, 2010
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket"

2 - this should be: "therefore i performed unsatisfactorily on my SATs i get your whole approach to the essay...

Writing Feedbackxxkixzplayaxx - Mar 22, 2010 / ginny2345 - Mar 24, 2010
My essay relating to job satisfaction :)

2 - Satisfaction obtained from work is considered as a more and more by many to be a crucial way to...

Writing Feedbackgmt_snail - Mar 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 22, 2010
Introduction/Thesis Help (good family = good future, bad family = bad future)

9 - Usually people say, "The teenage years" rather "the years of a teenager" Oh, I'm glad you finished and...

Writing FeedbackKurogashi - Mar 19, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 21, 2010
I believe that both classmates and parents have considerable influence on children

4 - if you see the mistakes, help correct them! Here we go: Oh, wait a minute! I...

Writing Feedbackjimmy1983 - Mar 19, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 20, 2010
Cause & Effects of Computer Addiction

5 - Thanks for all the kind words and help. If you guys see anything else or can think of something...

Writing Feedbackbrown287 - Mar 18, 2010 / brown287 - Mar 19, 2010

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