Scholarship / Sustainable Networking to enhance your Oceanography skill since juvenile - CHEVENING [4]


There is no actual reference of network building here. How did you meet the speaker? How was the relationship cultivated? simply stating a network was built does not make itsv.


This is not a networking skill. It is actually a job requirement for research assistants. It cannot be used as a networking reference.


How? There is no evidence of seminars attended , conferences completed, notackle meetings taking place. The networking is always implied but never justified. This is a networking essay that does not have any networking involved. The simplest of which would be a friend introducing you to a person who also became your friend thus creating a future useful network.


Where you participated as and met who ?

It is the reference to how the network was built and maintained, how these will benefit the program scholars past, present, and future, that make thin essay unusable.

Scholarship / Bring the best of team members during apocalypse time by embracing them - Leadership ESSAY-Chevening [3]

This speaks more of your organizational skills, which should not be confused with leadership and influencing abilities. Yes, a leader must have strong organizational skills. Organizational skills need to be supportive of team improvement. Team improvement is achieved through proper delegation, skills enhancement, and less micro.management. Abilities that are not evident in this presentation. There is no reference to leadership development or growth in the presented situation as it focuses on only one project related event. A true leader of the influential kind emerges in various scenarios and professional needs. That aspect should be presented over a series of events not necessarily within a single pproject. Actually the leadership management aspect is very weak.

Undergraduate / Business is the blood of the nation's economy. GKS personal statement - business administration [2]


This sentence is mether a motivation nora family background reference. Aat let's down the reviewer who is expecting to read a strong overall motivation paragraph because the next part does not relate to the statement. It would be better to remove this umeloled sentence as deleting it will leave a clearer paragraph presentation. The other option will be to build a more appropriate overall motivation paragraph around it. A stand- alone paragraph. It is your choice.


The problem, like I previously mentioned, is the disconnectedmotivation presentation.


Then please don't brag because you are. Make sure to avoid implied bragging references. Reviewers prefer humble candidates who show humility in the face of success.

Writing Feedback / (IELTS)It's a good or bad trend when it comes to only one language for all people in the world? [8]


So which aspect do you support in this discussion? Remember, this is a single s discussion. Nowhere are you asked to "discuss both views" so that type of reasoning is not used in this discussion.


This is a totally different type of prompt and essay discussion. Do not confuse yourself. Use only the orginally provided discussion instruction. Altering the discussion will result in a failing essay.

* The student shows clear signs of weak English comprehension skills due to his confusing restatement + s presentation. He failed to connect with the original writing instructions

An incorrect comparative discussion format has been used in the essay. Further enforcing the student's misunderstanding of the writing instructions and, creating the impression that he does not have a clear opinion based on the given guidelines. It is unlikely this essay will recieve a passing mark.

Writing Feedback / Saving our ecosystem not by increasing the price of fuels [5]

You have forgotten to respond to the primary question in the required format. An immediate jump to your opinion reason, rather than providing a proper extent response first, delivers an incomplete restatement + opinion paragraph. Therefore, the actual task requirement in relation to the discussion question has not been met. This paragraph instead, creates an alternate discussion point that is not related to the task with the following reason:


This unrelated response fails to meet task requirements. It offers an unexpected response. Therefore, the discussion is an incorrect prompt response.


Proof-read and edit. One punctuation mark at a time.


Unrenewable sources are not connected to traffic congestion, but could lead to the other 2 reasons. The sentence lacks competent reasoning and shows a problematic coherence discussion.

Based on these 2 reasons alone, it will suffice to say that the essay is a non-passing piece of writing.

Writing Feedback / Writing about your traveling experiences [2]


Right from the start, make sure to indicate if you are referring to international or domestic travel. That way the writing direction and discussions points are obvious to the reader. The first paragraph is confusing as you represent yourself as a world or international traveller then, you take it back or change your declaration towards the end. Avoid misrepresentations or confusing claims.


Since you are asked to talk about your travel experiences, refer to all related points in first person. Talk about what you learned, experienced, regret, and enjoy. Do not lose sight of who should be speaking and why.


How does this paragraph connect to your travel experiences? It disconnects from the top and bottom presentation as it deviates from the discussion focus.

Writing Feedback / Sample Answer Essay IELTS Cambridge 15: Coffee and Tea Buying and Drinking Habits [2]


The image provided is niether an illustrative diagram nor a procedural presentation. The image is incorrectly identified. Please familiarize yourself with the images used in this task and memorize these. The proper image identification is needed for an accurate summary overview. Improper references reduce the accuracy score.

Information wise, the writer identified all the important data. The problem is that it is not clearly divided into 2 reporting paragraphs. A task 1 essay usually wals a total of 3 paragraphs. That is the required and thus, expected report presentation. The writer forgot about that requirement. For clarity purposes, the student must divide the paragraphs using related points. The 2 references to bought coffee should be in 1 paragraph with the bought aspect beinga seperate paragraph.

Writing Feedback / Write an article for your school magazine about the effects of tourism on your country [2]

The first paragraph is not inviting. It does not catch the reader's attention. It also does not create a solid reference to the central article focus. What is the article really about? Why should the reader be interested in tourism rules? Are you talking about rules in general or in Vietnamese wills for tourists only? When the introduction does not have any appeal, the reader won't care.


What about these places? What is this reference for? Where is the meaning or relevance? Do not write hanging sentences. The purpose is to inform the readers, not confuse them. There is no sense to this writing.

The instruction is to write an article, not an opinion paper or editorial. So why was this written as an opinion paper?

Writing Feedback / TOEFL TASK 2 - physical education classes should be cut, art and and music should be eliminated [4]

The writer failed to meet the 250 word requirement. This will automatically prevent the writer from achieving a passing score since there are applicable percentage deductions applied when the word count is not met. More missing words will result in more deductions. This essay only has 213 words. One can only imagine the amount of deductions that will be applied.

Scores will still be applied to the remaining sections but, it will not be enough to overcome the deductions. Always check the word count. That is normally the reason students fail the test. Aim to write 5 sentences per paragraph to meet the word requirement.

I believe the wordcount situation occured due to the incomplete restatement + opinion paragraph. Rephrase the original topic properly, include the reason for the discussion, then give your opinion. That is the 2nd big error in this presentation.

Writing Feedback / Often younger generations account for a larger share of the population than older generations [3]

Even though the grammar of the student does not have perfect sentence presentations, there is a sense of simple sentence formation control in the presentation. The writer has used a logical thought process and perfectly discussed the possible negatives as positives. The commonly presented counter arguements in support of the elderly was cleverly debunked by the writer. There is a clear sense of a strong written debate with a clear winning side. He clearly understood the overall approach required by the prompt. Not a bad job. While the writer may not get a superior passing score, he is definitely not going to fail with this type of presentation.

Writing Feedback / The graph illustrates the proportion of males and females passing the driving test from 1980 to 2010 [3]


A trending statement indicates the major flow movement of the measurement. The reference above is the properly referenced trend of the bar chart. The first reference is not really a trend as if references both genders as equal in consideration.


Wrong image identification. The image is a bar chart, not a graph.A graph is composed of a fluctuating measurement line or series of lines. A bar graph uses fluctuating bars as seen above.

The comparison report is uneven. Do not focus on only one gender, leaving the second barely reviewed. Aim to compare the images using a uniform criteria. Review the second part with the same representation considerations. If one has 3 sentences then, the other should too.

Writing Feedback / The line chart below shows the percentage of people in different age groups who played video games [4]

An effective summary overview Uses at least 3 sentences. Each sentence contains one descriptive information presentation. These seperate sentences make it easier to follow the flow of information. It is scannable and easy to remember as opposed to the current run-on sentence. While the single sentence is complete. it is confusing in the sense that there is no subject center present. Which is why single sentence presentations are more score friendly.


This is nota trend. This is data presentation which should be in the report body. Actual data is not provided in the summary or trend. Only the first sentence is an actual trend.

The rest of the reporting data appears acceptable. I cannot fully review the presentation without the image reference.

Scholarship / if the aim of science is not to open the door to infinite wisdom ? - Career Plan Essay Chevening [7]

Do not waste the reviewer's time with such a flowery introduction. Go directly to the short teem plan of le months after graduation. This should not take more than 2 paragraphs. This may be localized in nature.It is the 5 year career plan that should take' 3 paragraphs at the most with a more coherent UK partnership reference.

Lengthen the cooperative path you will be taking via the mention of specific UK businesses, groups, or agencies that assist StE or MSE in your country. These discussions are too abbreviated here. The SDG plan could be expanded as well with the mention of UK supported projects you can assist with upon your return.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Should mobile phone is banned like smoking [3]


Provide your discussion statement for a proper opinion statement response. The topics that you will use as reasons will allow you to create a more comprehensive summarized response.


Improper word usage. Prejudice refers to unreasonable feelings, opinions, or attitudes, especially of a hostile nature, regarding an ethnic, racial, social, or religious group.. There cannot be any prejudice among material things. There can however, be bias as in " I am bias towards the IPhone." Regardless.the sentence implication /meaning is incorrect.


Word usage error once again. Content refers to the subjects or topics covered in a book or document. The word you are looking for is " contend" which means, " to assert or maintain earnestly" .

Work on your vocabulary. Do not use words without knowing if it applies to your writing. Use a dictionary for meaning clarification first.

Writing Feedback / Repeating bad habits despite the fact that these habits could be detrimental for the health [2]


Provide direct reasons. These reasons will help give your solution topic credibility in relation to the opinion response requirements.


The paraphrase of this reference is missing in the restatement. Always review your work for complete restatement content. Any missing reference will alter the original focus. Your essay is guilty of this alteration.


In relation to what activity? Complete the sentence reference to clearly connect to the mutationist reference at the end.


This was not referred to in the earlier discussion so do not mention it here. These references lessen the cohesiveness between paragraphs.


How does this relate to the videogame problem? It does not. The solutions must always relate to the causes or problems in the previous paragraph for coherence purposes.

Writing Feedback / IELTS PART 2 - READING PRINTED NEWSPAPERS/ BOOKS OR READING ONLINE? [2]


Prompt deviation. you are not responding to the given question which is,


. Sadly, this improper understanding of the discussion focus shall result in a failing discussion compliance score. You cannot create your own discussion topic. You must provide a discussion in response to the given presentation at all times.

While you will receive a score for the remaining sections, you cannot expect to be given a passing score when you have proven an inability to understand/comprehend English instructions. That is an automatic failure on your part. since the reverse paraphrase commits the same mistake, it is clear that this is a comprehension problem and not an oversight meant to be corrected in the end.

Writing Feedback / Some argue that undertaking parental courses is the most effective way to promote children's growth [2]


Do not use an extent response when not required to do so. Learn to identify the expected response format and provide it as required. While the exaggerated response looks good, points will actually be lost due to improper formatting.



Wrong reasoning format. The discussion does not ask for a comparative discussion format in the original prompt. Therefore, it should not be used in the reasoning paragraphs. Only opinion supporting reasons will be scored. So, when you said,


, you are expected to present 2 reasons that support this claim.

As an under explained opinion presentation, it will be difficult to say that it will get a passing score. With a less than minimum word count as the opposing view paragraph will not be considered, plus other scoring deductions , this essay has insurmountable scoring problems.

Scholarship / Explain how you build and maintain relationships in a professional capacity, using clear examples [3]


Take this out. Focus on professional references only. This makes you sound like a local college applicant.


Nice reference out lacking in supporting references. you have not shown any networking cultivation skills of note yet. Do not imply it Discuss it.

This is too weak. It lacks a networking foundation. I already mentioned that cultivation references are missing and, there is nothing to link percieved networks and influences with your future needs. I am notsure if you lack the necessary experience or, if you are too shy to say it. This is not the type of essay that would be considered useful to an application. As a draft, it lacks substance. Develop a new response of more notable reference.

Writing Feedback / The chart illustrates the amount of international students in the USA and from where they came [2]

This report cannot be properly reviewed. There are several reasons for this:
- Insufficient word count at 127 out of 150
- Improper report format. Ther comparison of charts are required for the presentation. The student cannot do a selective presentation. That is an automatic failing grade.

- Improper summary presentation

Basically. the writers because he opted not to follow the report presentation instructions has proven an inability to adhere to academic requirements. A major reason to fail the test. The foreign students in the UK and other English speaking countries are expected to follow directions as provided. Failure to do so in the language test means the student does not have the qualities they are looking for in potential students.

Writing Feedback / IELTS - taking a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience [8]

Good work on the restatement + opinion. It is clear, adherent to the original presentation, and properly formatted in terms of response format expectations. In fact, the writer shows a clear understanding of the discussion expectations. The reasons are on point and do not stray from the onginal. The explanations and examples are cohesive and coherent. A hugely important scoring aspect is continuously met. This is a well developed discussion essay but, it is far from perfect.

The writer has a tendency to use English slang such as


rather than the formal academic presentation. The proper reference is, "a great deal of time". More familiarity with Singular V. Plural rules is also needed as the writer mired the use of a singular indefinite article (a) with a plural word form (students).

Writing Feedback / In this day and age, people tend to collect information by their mobile devices, not from newspapers [5]


Please format the response based on the prompt requirement. Offer a measured degree for your opinion. Basically, the restatement is correct but the opinion only partially adheres to the needed response.

The reasoning paragraphs are not grammatically accurate in terms of sentence structure and word usage. However, the sentence problems did not result in a confusing or unclear presentation. The examiner will still understand the point of the sentence and aim of the paragraph. More exercises in terms of sentence clarity in partnership with word usage will help. Word choice sentence exercises would be best.

The conclusion is not correct. This must present a clear summary of the preceding discussion. A 40 word or 2 sentence summary is needed in this section.

Writing Feedback / Television advertisement should be restricted to the children. [2]

The writer provided a confusing paraphrase of the original topic. The paraphrase does not refer to advertising or the age range as the topic. The reader will be left confused and wondering about the personal opinion presented. This is a failing paraphrase as it leaves the reader stressed about the discussion focus.

The writer does not have visible control over sentence structuring and word usage. The discussions are presented in a transliterated manner or a word for word translation of a vernacular sentence. This lack of proper English vocabulary and grammar skills negatively affected the Task Accuracy and C + c presentation of the discussion. There is no way this essay will geta passing mack.

The student must focus on vocabulary building and simple sentence development excercises for the time being. He should not try to write essays at the moment. He is incapable of writing coherently at this time.

Writing Feedback / Cam16-IELTS Writing Task 2-People find infos about their house [2]

The prompt restatement has deviated from the original topic, eason for the topic, and opinion statement. It has not properly related to the paraphrasing requirements and response format expectations. The essay has begun as a failing presentation in terms of task requirements. It will be difficult to achieve a passing score at this point.


Avoid constantly repeating the discussion topic. It should only be stated twice. Once in the paraphrase then again in the concluding summary.


Wrong discussion point. The essay speaks of a residence or place where people actually live ) not historic sites or museums. The writer has problems understanding the target topic. A clear failure of English comprehension skills. The essay will recieve an overall failing score due to this.

Writing Feedback / The chart illustrates the long-term international migration in the United Kingdom [4]


You forgot to mention the measurement used as a part of the summary overview. Always include that as this is often highlighted as a part of the image data.


This is a confusing sequence. pick one of the present or seperate the sentences, ideas to create a trending paragraph instead. Do not use both if you cannot provide a clear reason for it.


This is unnecessary when you are providing 2 trending sentences. Do not over-inform the trend as it gets confusing to understand and will cause grammar range issues for the examiner.


You need a comma here. It appears that your problem in this essay is with GRA considerations.

Scholarship / Good Relationship Will Connect With People Who Are Going Where You Are Going - Networking Chevening [2]

Nowhere in these work experiences did you explain how you home and continue to cultivate these contacts. your response sounds more like an expanded job description from your resume. These do not gqualify as networking references. Frankly, I do not see how these experiences can help,a Chevening past, present or future scholar. There are no continuing work references to justify that qualification. As a part of a job application packet, this essay works. Axa Chevening networking essay, it fails to deliver. consider updating the data with consistent networking development references. Highlight why these contacts will be important to chevening and how you plan to share it. Remove the work resume perceptiofrom the content. That will disqualify you.

Undergraduate / In 250-300 words, tell us more about you and why you are considering VCU (Transfer Essay) [2]

The reviewer will be looking for reasons why you will bea good fit for the VCU student community and teaching style. Neither are properly represented here. You must have the ability to offer a transfer response based on the character fit consideration. However, it must be done without demeaning or undermining your current school. Do you think you can do that? Write a new essay that does not focus on a topic but, on your personality instead. Then, reconsider the reasons why you want to transfer. These are too shallow and lacking in unique reasons. There is no eye-catching reason to justify the transfer. This response does not cut it. It is too ignorable

Writing Feedback / Some people attest that team sports have more positive impacts on public health than individual [5]


Is this a personal opinion or a public perception? Where in the seperation of the discussion based on individual references? Avoid a general statement as this tends to remove the POV reference as needed in the presentation.


Where is your personal opinion? Are you aiming for the 4 or 5 paragraph response version? The essay is lacking in clarity at this point.


No researched information. Use only personal or public known data. Frame the sentences properly to avoid this score reducing error.


Should be the 3rd stand alone paragraph. The personal opinion must be fully developed. It must follow the writing manner of the first 2. The examiner will reject this opinion asa part of the concluding summary. This is a score reduction basis.

Writing Feedback / Some people argue that college must be provided free for everyone by the authorities [2]


Good job. This is exactly how this topic should be discussed based on the given parameters. This a good written debate presentation. However, your point of view discussion could be made longer and stronger in opposition. still, a good effort. It delivered.


This in the better developed opposition discussion. Try to replicate this style in your future exercises using similar single opinion discussions. You are on the right track.


This is the weak point in the discussion. This should have at least 40 words and a 2 sentence summary of the previous discussion. This is the section that will recieve a score down in the overall consideration. You need a reverse paraphrase here.

Writing Feedback / Teenagers should spend their spare time on unpaid community work statements [2]


This is unacceptable. Once your opinion is provided, the reasoning summary must follow immediately to complete the opinion basis/ discussion reasons outline.


One punctuation mark at a time. Review punctuation usage rules. Nowhere does it allow for the successive use of punctuation marks. That is because each mark indicates a different though t or emotional representation. That is why it is used only one at a time. This relates to thought and discussion clarity.


Spelling error. This should be represented as one word only. Connect the spelled out words as one only.


Do not use numerical ordinals in a paragraph if it cannot be used successively.

Use a comprehensive concluding summary. Use at least 40 words for a full scoring award.

Writing Feedback / Task 1: The diagram shows the small-scale production of smoked fish [3]

I cannot proceed with a full review of this essay as it will not recieve a passing score. The deductions are great when the writer provides less than 150 words in the presentation. Kindly remember that providing less than the minimum word count will prevent the essay from recieving a passing score consideration.

Do not use caps Lock when writing the summary. Do notuse bold text either. Both are considered forums of writing disrespect equivalent to shouting at the examiner. Simply with the summary in a normal manner as the rest of the essay.

Provide a full 3 paragraph presentation next time. One summary + trending sentence and 2 procedure explanation groups. That will help you meet all formatting requirements.

Writing Feedback / People who live in big cities have to face many issues like traffic jams and infections [2]


You already provided an overview of the problems. Provide a summary of solutions next to complete the response requirements Never repeat the discussion instructions. You are to provide a summarized opinion where direct questions are asked.


Incorrect wording. It should have been: During the... This is related to LR and GRA skills.

The writer has done an excellent job of discussing the causes and solutions. The sentences are coherent and well connected. However, better use of transition sentences would work better. Cohesive paragraphs also exist in the presentation regardless off the menemal GRA issues. The essay is well developed and fully addresses the discussion paragraph requirements. continue to develop your writing skills to further polish your written presentation.

Writing Feedback / Nobody can deny the important role of newspapers in providing information to the reader [5]


There are 2 possible reasons for this problematic sentence.
- The writer used a wrong sentence structure. Rather than using a continous sentence of 2 ideas seperated by a comma. A period was used instead.
- The writer wished to use a new sentence but accidentally forgot to provide a subject for the presentation. Hence the incomplete though process presentation.

The writer should have presented 2 supporting reasous in the explanation. Based on the 2 reasoning paragraphs format in relation to the provided opinion, no comparative discussion should be found. Therefore this essay will be judged as not having met the minimum word count and, will be scored only on opinion related discussion points.

Writing Feedback / Are newspapers the best way to learn news, discuss both views and give opinion [2]

Well, of course there are strong sides to the debate. So, what is your opinion? Which is your personal preference ? Why? The thesis statement is incomplete as you failed to provide your opinion statement as required. Points will be lost because of this shortcoming. Always double check the requirements against your presentation. Adjust accordingly.


This is unnecessary. It disconnects from the earlier discussions. The paragraph lost its cohesive presentation due to the under-explained 3rd reason.


You don't have to go overboard with the number of reasons. 2 will suffice. Adding a 3rd often results in a little developed last reason. You did that twice and will be scored down in the process.

Good job in explaining the public opinions. You lost a chance at a higher scare though due to the aforementioned reasons and, a lack of personal opinion presentation.

Writing Feedback / Begin formal education at the very early age or at at least 7 years old. Discuss and give opinion. [2]

The point of view of the writer is well represented throughout the essay. Only that point of view. There are 2 other points of view that should have been discussed from a public perception. This type of essay requires I reasoning paragraphs that offer 2 points:

- An analysis of the validity of the public reason
- The opinion of the writer in relation to the public support (Yes or no? Why?)

By framing the discussion in this manner the writer will be able to deliver:
- A thorough insight of the opinion
- A coherent discussion as per the discussion requirements
- 2 cohesive discussion paragraphs

The uniter will do well to review the required discussion presentation next time then consider the appropriate writing format.

Writing Feedback / Air pollution - protect the environment - write about air pollution and how to deal with it. [3]

The first thing I noticed is how you are prone to using contractions, which is an informal method of writing. When writing an academic paper, use both words, spell it out because that is how academic tones are maintained. Follow the formal method of writing as academic papers are used in school presentations while word contractions are used mostly in informal, casual, and creative writing papers.

When writing a paper based on current or ongoing actions, use active descriptive word references ( protect = protecting). Thought clarity is also important. What did you mean when you wrote:


Are you sure that you did not mean : "It is in OUR hands " ? Your sentence does not offer a clear idea of what you wish to say.

Writing Feedback / Advertisement development is negative or positive? [2]

In any real time setting, the writer is allowed to have his oven opinion that is not based on a discussion question. That is not the case for a task 2 essay. Regardless of how much you emphasize your dual opinion, it will not alter the actreal opinion requirement. This is a single opinion essay pick one side to develop as your response and do so. Discussion instruction changes made by the student will result in a failed test. Partial scores will be given because the response format remains incorrect. So, regardless of emphasis, when the writer shows an inability to follow the writing instructions, the score will not be passing.

Writing Feedback / [WRITING TASK 1] Southwest Airport redevelopment [2]

There needs to be an expanded use of punctuation marks to add clarity to the paragraphs. A properly placed comma here, a period there. Proper punctuation placement will help increase the score of this essay in at least 3 related sections.

The summary overview could have been better presented over 3 sentences in a single paragraph. There isn't enough information to warrant the seperation of the trending sentence from the overview. neither should the comparison report be spread out over 4 paragraphs. Stand -alone sentences are not useful in C + C scoring. This is only used in class to help the student learn what each sentence should represent. In actual writing the overiaw should be a combined data reference.

Scholarship / ERASMUS MUNDUS SCHOLARSHIP MOTIVATION LETTER - EUROPUBHEALTH+ - MASTERS IN PUBLIC HEALTH [2]


There is a difference between modern medicine and modern dentistry. Do not misrepresent yourself and the field you actually workin. The reviewer is trained to spot the pretenders. You are a dentist, not a medical doctor. That whole paragraph must give a clearer reference to oral health disparity. No confusion should be present.


clearly indicate that this is in reference to Public oral health. You persist in trying to mislead the reviewer.The result will be your expulsion from consideration.


How will these studies make you a better public health officer in relation to oral health? Where is the connection of your interest in the double degree to your background and work experience?

Writing Feedback / Help me fix the essay for my IELTS test about crime topic [2]

Try not to exaggerate your paraphrasing of the original topic. Do not alter the orginal reference point. This is a discussion of a public opinion rather than a debate about an indisputable fact. There is no reference to an indisputable fact in the original so you will already lose points for altering the original topic basis. Use a less inflammatory tone. This is an academic written discussion that should use an even academic tone throughout. No flaming is necessary.


Next time include one or 2 sentences referring to the reason/s why you believe so. The basis of your , is part of the scored introduction.


A long what? This is an English reference to a period of coverage st, the word you are looking for is time. Without the time reference, the phrase is incomplete.


Academic writing rules do not allow the use of a connecting word at the start of a sentence.

Writing Feedback / People are becoming overwhelmed by advertising and new marketing strategies [2]

Consider the original response wording and use it precisely in your opinion statement. Your current response has delivered an incorrect format as it is a totally different prompt response. It will get a failing consideration in terms of the prompt restatement + personal opinion consideration. This is a positive or negative result consideration essay. It is melt the same as an advantage or disadvantage opinion. The discussion considerations of the 2 are highly different.

Having had the total presentation, it is clear that the writer has misunderstood the discussion presentation and how to present its related response. The overall essay cannot pass since it failed to present the expected and expected response. The writer must work on strengthening his English comprehension skills and additionally, familiarize himself with the various task 2 response formats.