Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1: People arrested in the five years and the most recent reasons for arrest [4]

The summary overview is perfect. It properly states the related information in a manner that informs without confusing references. The inclusion of the trending statement in the overview helped the paragraph gain a relevance of information and statement clarity test takers often miss out on.

Now, the sentence presentations are more often than not, grammatically inaccurate. The writer will do well to develop his vocabulary along with his sentence creating abilities. There are enough online sentence and vocabulary exercises that can help the writer with this problem. While the thoughts can be deciphered, a more accurate sentence presentation will help increase scores. The current errors will result in deductions instead.

Writing Feedback / Ielts task 2: Discuss both views and give your opinion about newspapers and media [4]

The prompt restatement in the first paragraph is missing. The exam taker has totally changed both the discussion topic and discussion format/requirement The essay has already failed completely as it does not provide a related paraphrase or response format. The paraphrase is the pass or fail foundation of the essay test. Make even one mistake in this section and the score will fail immediately. The student made several presentation errors in this paragraph. A sure sign of a failing mark.

What are the errors? The main mistakes are:
- Incorrect topic interpretation
- Error in discussion response outline based on provided instructions.

The student need only compare his first paragraph content with the original to see the clear mistakes made in his version of the presentation. He began a discussion from a personal point of view where a restatement and outline were required.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL writing task: The marketing tools used by companies to promote their products to children [2]

The writer should choose to discuss only one of the two choices provided for the sake of clarity. Which of the 2 options do you believe would best control the problem? Why? Those are the only 2 discussion questions the essay should address. There is an over focus on the influence of advertising on children. The presentation should be balanced at 50/50, showing the wason why the chosen side best protects children from the pitfalls of advertising.

The essay has a strong tendency to veer off track in terms of discussion. The writer sometimes includes irrelevant discussion points that add to length but not clarity of explanation. The total focus has to be centered on advertising. Peer pressure has nothing to do with government control or banning.

Here is another tip, use an actual TOEFL essay prompt next time instead of an IELTS prompt. TOEFL prompts have a totally different format and ffocus.

Writing Feedback / A table illustrating information about consuming goods purchasing in five European countries [2]

The summary overview failed to indicate a trending statement based on the highs and lows of a specific country. The trending statement misinforms the reader as the statement makes it appear that the trend is similar overall, which is never the case.

The writer does not deliver the academic requirement for complete paragraphs. A complete paragraph is composed of at least 3 sentences. The student only provides 2 sentences per paragraph. It is incompletely analyzed as far as the examiner is concerned. Writing proper complex sentences, as opposed to these long sentences would have solved the formatting problem, created clearer presentations, and increased the per consideration score.

By the way, it is the responsibility of the student to provide the comparison image for a more extensive review result.

Writing Feedback / Alternative source of renewable energy [2]

It is difficult to assess the type of Task 2 essay the student is trying to write. The prompt ustatement and discussion paragraphs combine several prompts related to the topic. The actual topic and discussion format cannot be deduced because of the confusion regarding the true discussion basis. Exam takeus should never try to develop their own discussion focus for practice tests because they do not know how to format the questions properly.

All of the paragraphs do not provide clear and understandable presentations. The thought process of the writer is not in English. The vocabulary usage proves that. The student needs to develop both his conversational and witten English skills to fix that problem.

This current presentation cannot be reviewed properly because of the aforementioned problems. If the writer will use a proper prompt and post it here, I can review that essay instead.

Writing Feedback / Modern technology advances have paved the way for the popularity of working and studying from home [2]

The response provided shows that the Writer did not understand the writing format requirement for the prompt. Rather than supporting a single opinion as indicated, the writer chose to support both sides. This caused the failure of the essay to provide a clear opinion based on the writing instruction requirement.

Question: Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The query asks the student to consider the discussion, weigh the evidence of. each side, and discuss the reasons why one side is the valid side. Either it is good (positive) or bad (negative). There is no room for a comparative presentation since the writer is not asked to discuss both views.

Response: this trend has advantages as well as disadvantages.

The writer, due to a misunderstanding of the instructions, responded with a discussion changing response. A/D is a different response format from P / N. The response made the essay fail due to an unrelated response.

Writing Feedback / What are the reasons for rising wealth inequality and what problems could it cause? [2]

The prompt restatement is an inaccurate, and therefore, invalid representation of the original prompt. It fails to deliver a representation suited to the provided topic, discussion reason, and format. This topic does not suit the discussion. It is irrelevant to the original presentation.

The original prompt relates to wealth inequality sans the reasons provided in the first paragraph interpretation of the writer. Such misrepresentations alter the original topic and, as seen in this essay, tends to change the discussion instruction as well.

The instruction falls under the writing format of cause and solution. The writer developed a discussion based on causes and disadvantages instead. The essay will recieve a failed score due to the unrelated response provided.

Although scoring will still be provided selectively based on the cause response, it will not be enough to total a passing score due to the non-related drawbacks discussion.

Writing Feedback / Discuss both views and give opinion about encouraging young people to leave home or staying atome . [4]

The essay had a very good start. The compare and contrast discussion shows that each public . has a logical reason that made its supporters believe in it. The writer developed the public points of view clearly. There is no question that the public - are being considered deeply and an analysis of the points were done. The discuss both views aspect was well developed and presented. These are the strongest parts of the essay. What is the weak part?

The writer should have explained the basis of his personal opinion after the compare and contrast discussion. The fully developed personal opinion is a required scoring element. The writer cannot offer a personal opinion without basis. Such a presentation creates an incomplete discussion presentation. It fulfills only 75% of the scoring requirement. To achieve 100% scoring basis, all required discussion elements must be fully presented.

The personal opinion for this could have been based on the writer's personal preference. The explanation of the personal option would have resulted in a complete discussion as perprompt requirements. Good work though. The essay can still recieve a somewhat satisfactory score. Though the language used is not perfect, the idea is still easily understood.

Writing Feedback / The provided table represents the figures for employees and factories over a period of 50 years [2]

A summary overview is only complete when the miter provides short details about the image type, what it represents, the measurement type and trend. The writer accomplishes only a part of that paragraph requirement, recieving only a partial score for that base score requirement.

A complete summary is required for introduction clarity. This summary presentation only refers to a trending pattern. The last requirement of the summary presentation. A reference to the subject and reason for the measurement is important in this section.

The writer needs to be more careful when proofreading his work. There are missing punctuation marks that infer a rushed presentation. While the winter has the potential to pass the test, lack of proper information and editing errors lowered the possible score.

Writing Feedback / It is argued that only governments and large companies are able to improve the environment crucially [2]

If the writer wishes to discuss this single opinion extent essay in a comparative format, a paragraphical compare and contrast format should be followed. That means, the writer must use the following format:

Sentence 1 (Topic) : People believe that only governments can save the environment.
Sentence 2 (validity): Governments oversee corporations that destroy the environment
Sentence 3 (Counter argument): Government sometimes cover up the damage corporations cause
Sentence 4 (validity): Relevant example showing how people fixed the environment.
Sentence 5 (transition): This is why it is also up to the people to improve...

By using the disproving writing method, an effective comparison extent response can be fully developed.

Writing Feedback / It is true that in the modern world, many couples decide to defer procreation [2]

When interpreting the original topic, it is best that the writer does not affirm anything that was not done in the same manner in the original. seen as a personal opinion, such truth validations are not scared nor considered by the examiner as these change the target topic of the original discussion. The writer will score better when he does not add any statement that can alter the first presentation targets.

The writer has a good presentation and sound reasoning. The ideas presented are supported with believable explanations for the most part. What the with lacks in the presentation is an ability to keep the cohesiveness of the discussion through the use of appropriate transition sentences. While transition words are ok to use for some essays, these words fail to preserve the relationship between ideas in a paragraph. A transition sentence is what ultimately delivers the better C + C score.

Writing Feedback / Computers among the best inventions over centuries [2]

Is the writer presenting a case in court? Perhapsdebating someone? Task 2 essays rely on everyday English words for its explanation.There is an emphasis on "everyday English words". Task 2 essays are witten simple discussions. Exaggerated and inapplicable word usage does not help the word usage or grammar accuracy score. Rather, it lessens the scoring ability of the paragraph due to the misuse of words. The over- exaggerated, yet missing a thesis statement opening presentation is inefficient in terms of creating a base score for the essay.

The writer is knowledgable on the topic but tends to keep talking for the sake of word count. He sacrifices the quality of the discussion in the process. The writer has the wong scoring priorities. His paragraphs all not complex sentences but run-on presentations. He needs to simplify his presentations in a manner that best suits the scoring requirements. The conclusion in particular, falls short of the reverse paraphrase requirement.

Writing Feedback / Writing task 1 ielts: the percentage of students giving good ratings for various aspects of Mcgrill [2]

There are several types of tables. The writer did not offer a complete image identification. The description from the instruction was used in a cutand paste format. The writer mustbecame familiar with all task 1 specific image types. Regardless, there is a proper summary overview and trending statement provided. However, the lack of image for comparison makes me worry about the outline accuracy. Please note that it is the student's responsibility to provide the image for this purpose.

There are moments when the student reveals a measured point of comparison but neglects to provide the accompanying data numbers. This creates confusion in the paragraph that leads to a less than informative paragraph. This is a non-cohesive and less coherent scoring presentation.

Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1 - the percentage of people living in Australia who were born in Asia, the UK,... [2]

This is a pretty good presentation that falls within the requirements of a passing task 1 analysis report. The presentation pretty much covers the easily spotted percentages. The analysis focuses on both the highs and lows.The writer would have done well to analyze the criss crossing points in the presentation at least once for a totally comprehensive presentation. While the highs and lows are evident, the overlaps allow for a comparative presentation of equal points. Something that examiners tend to score melee on due to the more comprehensive report format. Avariation of the word percentage would have also been useful. Aside from the word itself and percentage sign, the terms proportion, rate and Matio would have been LR helpful.

Writing Feedback / The causes of success in college [2]

The first sentence of the restatement does not sound like a trophic restatement that was based on a previous statement. Original reason references appear to be missing. Good work on providing the thesis statement though. It shows good comprehension and reasoning skills on the writer's part. The real problem lies in the way the sentencen are presented in the discussion paragraphs.

The writer manages to get his opinion across to the reader somehow. The writer lacks control over his sentence formation and word usage. The presentations are grammatically inaccurate on several counts relating to proper sentence presentation. The writer will do well to not try to write complexsentences yet. Practice simple sentence presentations first and perfect it.

Writing Feedback / Many people argue that salary should be the top priority for applying for a position. Do you agree? [3]

The writer's response is improperly presented. Seeing as this is a simple agree or disagree based discussion, a measured response (I completely...) is inappropriate. The response format must always match the discussion presentation requirement. That said, the response will still be accepted and scored on a limited scale due to the formatting error.

The essay is in danger of not achieving a passing score for 2 reasons. The first is an incorrect discussion format and the second, is an underdeveloped response. These reasons go hand in hand.

The writer used a comparative format, meaning the writer found correct reasons for both sides, which results in a non- opinion presentation. The instruction is to choose and explain one side only. The essay will only get a score for an opinion related paragraph as indicated in the opinion sentence in the restatement. All unrelated paragraphs will not recieve a score. The essay, which now lacks a second supporting paragraph, will then be scored as incompletely developed. It may not be a passing score in the end after other deductions are applied.

Writing Feedback / Task 2 - there are a lot of arguments that school is the best place to educate children [2]

There is just one paragraph missing from this otherwise well developed presentation. That of the personal opinion which would have further added to the validity of one of the 2 public opinions. Remember the instruction is to discuss, meaning analyze the 2 public opinions first. That analysis would have led the writer to conclude in support of the por close to his own, as supported by a personal point of view based on personal experience or knowledge. The third paragraph is required for this essay to be considered fully developed and explained. The concluding part is also under developed. It failed to provide a proper concluding summary based on a complete topic restatement and reasoning composed of at least 3 sentences.

Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2: New technologies and ways of buying and selling [3]

The writer wrote allspouse paper that is unrelated to the topic. While the writer provided a measured response as an opinion statement in the first paragraph, the topic focus of the response was incorrect. Thus, the essay will recieve a failing score based on an unrelated response. There was a clear change in topic focus as the following comparison reveals:

Original Topic: NEW TECHNOLOGIES AND WAYS OF BUYING AND SELLING ARE TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF CONSUMERS.
Your Topic: ... several positive and negative changes can be arisen from this common tendency.

The student has a different topic in mind for the discussion ( positive and negative) from the actual presentation ( transforming the lives of consumers). The correct discussion focus would have been:

I completely agree that modern gadgets have changed the way people come to own and trade things.

Writing Feedback / Nutrition Education in Primary Schools [2]

The author forgot to provide the original prompt for reference purposes. The topic provided is not the commonly used prompt for the topic so I need a reference point for it. That said, I will try to provide an appropriate review for this work. Be reminded that no actual prompt is provided soa response appropriate review cannot be provided.

The first reasoning paragraph sentence is redundant. The writer need not constantly remind the reader about the topic. Providing a topic response sentence would have been a better way to open the paragraph discussion as it would have provided a clean reference to the paragraph content. As for the expanded discussion, the writer should have avoided a reference to "a recent survey" as this does not fall under the personal knowledge personal experience, or publicly known information. It should have been framed differently, based on specified information sources, to meet the criteria.

Writing Feedback / Task 2 - the question of whether or not to host an international sports event [2]

The essay is obviously witten only from the personal considerations of the author. Which is why only 2 reasoning paragraphs are provided when the accepted discussion format is 3 comparative paragraphs. The prompt indicated the number of paragraphs: Discuss both 12 public opinions) and give your opinion (1 paragraph). The formula:

2 public opinion paragraphs + 1 personal opinion paragraph = 3 discussion paragraphs

The lack of proper 3rd person pronoun usage, along with a first person reference shows a general discussion based on a personal point of view. the required discussion format was not followed. The personal opinion must be evidently based on a comparison of the 2 public reasons as explained in individual paragraphs. That comparison is not portrayed in this presentation.

Writing Feedback / It is evident that there is an increasing disinterest in the practice of having meals with family [2]

The restatement of the topic is offering a personal opinion in the first sentence. This is not an accepted part of the original topic restatement This is an opinion that was never implied in the original statement. It will be considered a topic alteration and lower the score. The lack of proper direct responses to the questions do not meet the paragraph response requirement either as there are no direct answers in relation to the body paragraphs provided. The restatement paragraph fails to deliver on discussion expectations as no clear discussion flow is provided.

The actual response paragraphs helped to save the presentation. The answers are relevant, explained well enough, and carry appropriate examples. However, improper word placement in the sentences tend to affect the clarity of the presentation. The essay is still understandable though and should be graded positively by the examiner.

Writing Feedback / The pie charts shows how energy is used and the greenhouse gas emissions emitted from these energy [2]

At a certain point in the presentation, the writer must make use of the chart titles. These image names help keep the reader on track as to which image information is being discussed. Such a reference adds to the discussion clarity on the reader's end and will be appreciated by the examiner.

There in a comparative discussion point omitted by the analysis presentation. There is a similarity between the 2% cooling range of household use that resulted in an almost similar 3% greenhouse emission as per chart division.

A comparison of data from both images helps to show a deeper image analysis on the part of the writer and increases the possible final score.

Writing Feedback / Writing task 2: people are exposed today to an increasing amount of advertising [3]

The restatement is acceptable. The question responses are not. There are no direct topic responses presented as required to develop a clear discussion outline presentation. Therefore, the restatement paragraph does not establish a strong nor clear discussion introduction.

The first reasoning paragraph fails to respond to the first question.

Question: To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements?
Response: There are two major drawbacks that advertising causes .

The discussion should be about influence, not drawbacks. This is not a benefits v. drawbacks essay. Response paragraph 1 - Fail.

The second question response is proper and relevant to the question. It will recieve full scoring considerations . The overall presentation will still fail though as only 1 of the I questions recieved a relevant response.

Writing Feedback / [TASK 1 - MAP] A PLAN OF A CITY IN 1950 AND AT THE PRESENT [2]

For comparison purposes, a reference to the existence of a river is necessary. That is because the river was later altered to become a lake covering 2 parts of the city. One may say that the first map is incompletely described in that paragraph as it does not okisively connect to the body of water description in the second paragraph.

The years in question, 1950 and present day should have been referred to clearly in the introduction to lack relevant paragraph.This serves to inform the reader regarding proper information coverage.

The essay presentation is good and may revive a passing score. However, a better score would have been recieved if there was no missing element in the presentation.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WT I : The donation of UK citizens by the generasion gap for 1990 and 2010 [2]

The writer did not proofread the presentation. A spelling error (generasion = generation) remained uncorrected and a proper nown was witten in lower rather than uppercase first letter (British), causing an LR and GRA deduction. The trending statement is incomplete as it refers to the highest age with specifity, but did not mention the age group in relation to the lowest reference. That statement fails to deliver a clear explanation.


Which was?The sentence is improperly written as it lacks definite information.

The writer seems to be rushing through the presentation. The data is merely provided but not completely analyzed. This is highly evident towards the end ofthe discussion as it caused confusing data representations in the last paragraph.

Writing Feedback / The diagram shows the university sport center in the present and future [3]

The essay is not going to reach a base passing score. The writer has only provided 129 words for the essay. As suchs appropriate word requirement deductions will be applied. A task 1 essay must contain a minimum of 150 words to avoid preliminary score penalties. Failure to avoid the - requirement prevents the essay from , all sectional scoring considerations. The additional limited score will be in the report analysis section.

The writer should know that the task must be completed over 3 paragraphs. This essay has only 1 and a half paragraphs provided. The analysis lacks balance and proper development. Therefore, the essay fails to deliver based on all 4 major scoring considerations.

Writing Feedback / Essay task 2: Large companies use sports events to promote their products [3]

The writer took a good approach to his comparative reasoning explanations in the presentation. There was a slight hitch in the second paragraph discussion though. He contradicted /opposed his own partial agreement with the statement because, in the topic sentence , the author indicated that; "I firmly contend", meaning there is a total support for the paragraph statement. This negates the : " I am partly agree" opinion provided in the response statement. The essay now contains conflicting viewpoints that will lead the examiner to score this based on unclear, and non-cohesive discussion paragraphs. It is imperative for scoring considerations that the writer does not change his opinion midstream. Such a change affects several important scoring decisions.

Writing Feedback / [Writing Task 2] Effect of electronic games to our life [3]

The first 2 sentences of the first paragraph are unnecessary. Only the last 2 sentences are relevant and responsive to the writing requirements. Those are the only information to be provided in this paragraph. That said, the paragraph would still have lost points for the use of a cut andpaste reference to "electronic games on portal devices". All original keywords should be replaced with appropriate synonyms due to word usage and vocabulary considerations.

The essay will recieve additional deductions due to an incorrect response format. This is not a measured response essay so there is no "partial" reasoning presentation. support one side fully or not at all. The writer has provided an unacceptable response based on the required discussion format. The essay does not offer a clear opinion based on the prescribed writing criteria.

Writing Feedback / [Writing task 1 - the map of Islip town centre now and planned development] [2]

The writer should be aware that a 20 minute essay cannot accomodate 200 plus words being written. The maximum is 200 words, regardless of paragraph number. The text must be direct to the point, with as little word and sentence fillers as possible. For this type of presentation, only a single, marked trend should be provided to create a more focused statement.

Care should be taken when writing. Common place words which are not nouns are capitalized in the paragraphs. Review word capitalization usage rules. The last paragraph is unnecessarily wordy. As long as the writer meets the 150 minimum word count, he is safe from word count penalties.

Writing Feedback / More people would prefer electronic newspapers to printed ones due to its convenience [2]

The student altered the discussion reason making the prompt rewrite fail in terms of topic accuracy. To compare:

OT : ... nobody will buy printed newspapers or books ... online without paying.
YT : ... people would prefer electronic newspapers ... due to its convenience

Score points will be deducted based on the change in topic presentation. The topic focus should not be changed in the interpretation. The response statement is also incorrect as a basic response was provided where a measured answer reference was required (to what extent...) The response was not presented in the expected format. The reference to free news access is a must in the restatement.

The writer provides a good set of reasoning paragraphs but the conclusion is faulty. There is an over emphasis on the 4th industrial revolution instead of a discussion summation based on the previous presentation.

Writing Feedback / Essay about if zoos should exist in the 21st century? [3]

There is no reference to any sort of abuse, torture, or animal beatings in the original presentation. These references are part of a personal opinion that should be part of the last sentence / thesis statement. The topic presentation should have been a proper restatement of the factual topic. The essay will lose points due to topic discussion deviations.

The student must avoid the use of contractions as there are considered non-academic in presentation. The paper must follow formal English writing rules.

The writer has also confused the discussion presentation. The first reason shows an explanation of why zoos should be banned. In the second, the need for yoos is given eason. Which is the actual supported reason? The essay fails to deliver a clear opinion in the explanations even though a clear opinion was given in the opinion sentence.

Writing Feedback / Essay: Describe an unexpected resort trip that you've ever gone (about 300 words) [2]

The opening paragraph should contain a descriptive example of the resort. An effective creative writing essay relies on an effective setting description to set the mood of the presentation. This essay needs to be more descriptive at the start. Breaks in the description are also needed because it tends to become monotonous. Use of dialogue exchanges would have helped it become more engaging in a different descriptive sort of way.

The writer needs to learn when to use prepositions and conjunctions to make the sentence meaning and /or reference clearer. Lessons in phrase verb usage are also necessary . Pass away is a phrase verb that politely refers to the death of someone. So vocabulary in relation to word meaning is also a problem for the writer.

The essay shows the effort the writer put into writing it. However, the lack of English fluency did not allow the essay to back its full potential.

Writing Feedback / Write an essay about environment : causes, effects and solutions (write at least 700 words) [2]

The premise of the essay is that the life improvement that we experience through the development of science and technology. Science could refer to food science and its environmental relevance. That is relevant to its environmental impact. Technology refers more to the hardware that we use in our daily lives. So I can't help but ask why the discussion suddenly went into pollution and its environmental impact. The thesis portion is confusing. It is the second part or claim that aligns itself with writing expectations. The writer must do one of 2 things:

- Delete the first part and better develop the second part as the introduction
- Delete the second part and connect the frist part to an environmental discussion.

A clearer discussion premise is needed to qualify the later discussion focus.

* Limited review provided due to paper length. Contact me privately for details on how to recieve an extensive review.

Writing Feedback / Some people think that it is unfair when sport stars earn more money than people in other profession [2]

The essay does not meet the 250 minimum word requirement. This will be the main reason that the essay will not recieve a passing mark, or even come close to receiving one. The writer should write at least 66 words per paragraph to meet the minimum word count. The essay may be considered well developed within 250-300 words. No word penalties will be applied to that count. Less than 250 words will result in a word percentage deduction being applied. If the exam taker fails in the word count, the essay is sure to get a final failing score due to the huge penalty applied.

Then there is the problem of lack of clear prompt restatement and opinion presentation. Additional penalties will be tacked on due to an unclearestatement and opinion response. Actually the response format is not in the proper presentation format. Then the GRA score will also suffer deductions for incorrect punctuation usage. Do not use successive punctuation marks in a sentence. There are simply too many errors in this presentation in relation to all scoring considerations. This is not a passing essay. The writer should study the various Task 2 formats before writing more practice tests.

Writing Feedback / Fixed punishments or considering circumstances and motivation of each crime [3]

The writer has an inaccurate prompt interpretation. There are 2 public opinions presented in the original prompt. These points ofier should have been rewritten in the restatement + opinion paragraph.The discussion instruction asks for a 3 reasoning paragraph opinion explanation. This is not an agree or disagree essay. Nor is it a measured response essay.

The TA score made the essay fail immediately because of the unrelated task response. This failure will be hard to overcome. it is quite possible that the essay will not qualify for a passing score of any sort. All because the writer misunderstood the writing instructions. The discussion does not show a correct assessment of the discussion topic as required. The writer must become familiar with the 5 paragraph reasoning / discussion style for this essay.

Writing Feedback / Academic Writing Task 1: The number of people watching a television programme for sports by country [3]

The writer did not put any effort into writing this paper. Since it only has 123 words, the essay automatically getra ffailing TA score due to its inability to meet the 150 word count. The user is not serious about his exam because this is only slightly better than a spam post. No image was provided for the review, the format is incorrect,

no actual data is being presented, there is no analysis or comparison provided in a manner that shows the student was serious about this task. It appears the student is not serious about this test based on this joke of a presentation. This is a failed essay, but the user already knew that. Students who are not serious about their review have no place at this forum.

Writing Feedback / Some believe that people should make efforts to fight climate change while others think it is better [2]

The first paragraph is used to restate the original topic ideas without variations. The paragraph is used to assess the student's synonym usage skills. His ability to give an accurate interpretation of the topic, without the need to alter the original content. The first sentence of the interpretation is not a part of the original presentation. I altered the original presentation by including a personal insight from the writer. It will not receive a score. Rather, it will lower the TA score due to the slight prompt alteration.

The discussion provided in the reasoning paragraphs are incorrect. The discussions provided do not explain the basis of each public opinion. Neither is there a connected personal opinion presented. It appears the student misunderstood the prompt and discussion method. The student appears to have altered everything in relation to the original prompt.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of ...... [2]

The writer should have used 4 paragraphs here as there are 3 comparison images. The summary failed to identify what each pie chart represents along with the meal types, and measurement basis. These are the reasons why the information enumeration is needed in this section. Failure to do so shows an early incomplete study of the image.

Since the study results are assumed to be currently ongoing since no year references are made, present time indicators are used. " Are been" is not only grammatically incorrect, but also makes a confusing time reference. The writer will do well to undertake more time reference sentence exercises.

The analyzed data requires another paragraph presentation for proper presentation and information dissemination. 5 properly presented, non - confusing sentences per paragraph would have helped. The comparisons could have been better presented in that manner.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2: The government should allocate more money to the public transportation system like railways [4]

The writer has not followed the simple prompt restatement instruction as provided for the task 2 essay. He began an actual discussion in this section which led to an inaccurate topic restatement. This is also the reason why the essay is over-discussed and using too many words.

The reasoning paragraphs tend to ramble on with sometimes unrelated points. These cause problems in scoring the cohesiveness and coherence of the presentation. Cohesiveness refers to how well the topics relate to one another in the paragraphs. Coherence refers to how clearly the topic relationships are explained. These requirements are not seen in there paragraphs.

The writer is not yet familiar with important English writing wells. The conjunction " because" cannot be used to start sentences as the ward is a subject or idea connector. It is used in the middle to connect what would otherwise be 2 seperated but related sentence ideas.

Writing Feedback / In the past, people store knowledge in books. Nowadays, they store knowledge on the Internet [4]

The essay is only based on a 4 paragraph format. The writer has over presented his discussion in a manner that will result in an incomplete presentation during the actual test. The essay only needs 2 reasoning paragraphs in the presentation. The writer should learn to look for the paragraph number within the discussion reference sentence.

The question response in the first paragraph should not include an actual discussion yet.This is another point of error in this presentation. There is also the incorrect use of ellipses in this section that is increasingly leading the presentation to an overall failing score.

The information also refers to researched data from Microsoft. While information can be mackup, this must be done without any research reference as the data should be based on personal knowledge or experience and everday known information.

I cannot proceed to review this essay. It has way too many failures to be pointed out. The writer needs to read and learn from other writing samples before proceeding with his own writing exercises.