Writing Feedback / OPEC agrees its first production cut since 2008 [3]

... (OPEC) made a decision thatIN WHICH member of this (...) cartel system becauseSINCE Iran and Saudi Arabia wasARE still THE rival in this sectori . On September 28th [COMMA] the OPEC members (...) to cut and limit ofTHE production to 32.5-33 ... MOREOVER/BESIDES/AT THE SAME TIME. etc [according to the meaning you want to deliver] Saudi Arabia was decreased significantly in production.

... cut output only if other producers followed suit.? However, ON This condition, OPEC HAS brought into direct conflict with otherS such as like[REDUNDANCY] Iran.

... been decreased ofITS oil production while the (...) if Iran won ofTHE argumentation.
... the oil market had been decreased ON the price this year.
... OPEC IS still powerful in ...

OVERALL, you need to concern about the coherence of each sentence in delivering the flow of ideas or information

Writing Feedback / TED Summary: The next outbreak? We're not ready [2]

... like nuclear weapon CAN CAUSE in the future. The problem is, THAT there are far more (...) but we are STILL lack of system to prevent epidemic CASES .

A particular example of lack of systemTHIS was Ebola ...
Initially, there wasWERE no stand-by (...) to examine THE WIDE spread of the disease ..
... not expand to a larger area, [FULLSTOP] it was because the ultimately (...), and it was only concentrated in rural areas.

... such as to take advance OF the use of technologies,...
For example, he hopeS that new drugs and vaccines ...
However, He doubtED about how much the expense to ...
OVERALL, THIS IS A GOOD SUMMARY. GOOD LUCK

Writing Feedback / Haunting photos of polar ice (TED Summary) [4]

Humans are not separated by FROM nature and WHILE everything is interconnected each other.
Iceberg is come MADE/BUILT/STRUCTURED etc. from OF one snowflake WHICH united with other snowflakes ...
It which is lain 200 feet in height above sea level ...CONFUSING SENTENCE. = IT IS LAID 200 FEET ABOVE SEA LEVEL WHICH IS THE RESULT OF ICE SHELVES DISINTEGRATION

Same as we see our self as human, but the reality is far from it. [THIS TALKED ABOUT WHAT? ]
... iceberg is followed by released THE RELEASE OF mineral-rich fresh water ...
We have to benefit the other life LIVES until the time ...

Writing Feedback / Kio Stork made an explanation how we can create an exquisite relationship with strangers we meet [2]

......, smile to them are such weird and avoidED things to do by majority ...
It is a dangerous act to do PERFORM especially for the kids who have no sense [Sense of what? incomplete information ] when they have (...) or not to be toO close.

Basically, the simple words GREETINGS like hello (...) seems too stereotype and nothing but, it seems completely different to the strangers you try to greet to, existence,...confusing sentence. = basically, the simple greetings like hello and how are you seem to stereotype and nothing but for the strangers, it is totally different since it contains social meaning, a great feeling to start a day.

Noticing NOTICED by people we do not know, smileD to us, do not ignore us ...
A huge benefitS SUCH AS LIBERATING FEELING AND INTIMATE CONDITION will be felt by people THOSE who like to meet new (...) human being around such as a liberating feeling and intimacy condition.

This feeling comes as WE talk to the (...) once in life is AS a quick interaction with no ...
However [NEED COMMA] a variety of cultures in diverse (...) talk to the unknown human ONES.

Writing Feedback / Summary of Artile World's hardiest animal has evolved radiation shied for its DNA By: Andy Coglan [2]

...,water bear, is the most toughest creatures on the planet, [NO NEED COMMA] which can survive in AN extreme condition such as IN radiation-contaminated territory.

... of this animal is IN moss, yet surprisingly it also can survive ...
Research nowadays THE RECENT RESEARCH has exposed the adequate ...
This IS because of remarkable genetic (...) (Damage suppressor) WHICH corresponds to the shields of Their DNA.
This THE RELATED research was conducted by Takekazu ...
Kuneida's teamshave HAS identified the proteins and were WHILE directly tested in (...) radiation prior TO the proteins THAT were also modified. Thus, this THESE proteins sufficiently protect ...

OVERALL, despite of some mistakes, your writing has become better. Good luck

Writing Feedback / Summary article_Your Birth Control Pill Might Raise Your Depression Risk [2]


A research institute in Denmark conducted a study involving more that 1 million women and adolescent girls about their birth control

... that birth control has effect which is related with mood INFLUENCED BY MOOD. BESIDES, Such as, IT IS ALSO RELATED WITH pills (...) of contraception [NO NEED COMMA] which are potentially increasE the risk of depression.

Furthermore AT THE SAME TIME/IN ADDITION, scientists from university (...) have been performed a research for WITH more than 1 (...) between 15 and 34, based DIVIDED on two groups,(...) contraceptives, AS PARTICIPANTS. As the result, they found that women who usE A combination of (...), so it makes the risk more high HIGHER rather than nonusers.

... in particular teenage YOUNG girls to know about factors ...
And [AVOID STARTING SENTENCE WITH 'AND'] doctors also should have ...

Writing Feedback / 8 secrets of success (TED Summary) [8]

There are 8 things which ARE able to leads us to success.
First of all is PASSION. Try to do something that you love, not struggle just for money. BETTER TO MERGE INTO A COMPLEX SENTENCE
=first of all is passion in which people try to do something they love instead of just struggle for earning money.

If you work for love, money WILL comes anyway.

Second thing is WORK, so we have to work and fun[fun is not verb. to make it parallel, you may say TO WORK AND ENJOY IT] to make everything easy.

Next thing is GOOD. There is no magic, we have to repeat ROUTINELY practice to make something perfect. Then FOCUS, we have to focusing our self in one thing .

Then SERVE, we have got to serve others something valueS. Next is IDEA, just think for simple things to build up the creativity. The last is PERSIST, it is most important ...

Mechanically use cohesive devices
repetition
avoid write 'thing' since it is too general and contains ambiguity

Writing Feedback / How Did a Blind Man Climb Yosemite's El Capitan in a Day? [3]

The first blind climber ever was Erik Weihenmayer in WHO CLIMBED El Capitan i......

On September 26, 2016, Erik Weihenmayer became ..t.

THIS IS FROM THE ARTICLE WHILE YOUR WRITING IS:


TOO SIMILAR. again, what you did is not paraphrasing.

Indeed, there are many important and interesting facts you should deliver here only if you already understand the article.

Writing Feedback / Electronic tongue taste-tests wines so you don't have to (Article Summary) [5]

... electronic tongue from a platinum, a gold, and carbon electrodes ...
This electronic tongue NEW INVENTION can predict the tasted perception of sommeliers by identified IDENTIFYING the chemical composition ...
Therefore, these instruments THIS INSTRUMENT can help sommeliers THEM to taste 100 wines each day but ALTHOUGH it can not be used for ...
... the electronic tongue was IS able to replicate (...) but no instrument was IS possible to replace the emotion,..

you need to lengthen your summary so that there will be many aspects or thing to be commented for enhancing your work.
overall, on this summary, i found word form, repetitiion, pronouns using, and tenses as your issues. keep writing and keep learning.

Writing Feedback / Star basketball player endorses Hillary Clinton [3]

Cavalier stars basketball player STAR, James LeBron [NEED COMMA] has supported Hillary Clinton for TO BECOME THE next president of ...
He said that,[NO COMMA NEEDED HERE] He endorsed Hillary because ...
Moreover, He believe that,[NO COMMA NEEDED] Hillary has committed to (...) and TO reduce the violence.
... United States needS a president who bringS in unity and peace ...
No matter where she or he were COMES from even the color of skin.

at all, punctuation issue is a matter. some minor errors did not ruin your sentence but still need to be concerned. try to make a longer summary so there will be many things to suggest or correct there. good luck

Writing Feedback / Hurricane Matthew due to hit Haiti with 210kph winds today [3]

Haiti faces a flsh flodds and EXTREME wind storm extremely which was IS a terrible hurricane.
Tha THE 4th categories of hurricane approachES with maximum stable winds ...

This is hoped can TO pass without damaging the east areas ofjamaica and then cross (...) of haiti on Monday local time.
YOUR SENTENCES:


WHILE FROM THE SOURCE:
The US National Hurricane Centre in Miami also said the storm is then predicted to hit the lightly-populated eastern tip of Cuba on Tuesday afternoon.

Forecasters said as much as a metre of rain could fall on some isolated areas of Haiti, raising fears of deadly mudslides and floods in the heavily deforested country where many families live in flimsy houses with corrugated metal roofs

YOU ONLY CHANGED SOME WORDS FROM THE ARTICLE. THAT IS NOT SUMMARIZING. on making summary, at first, you need to understand the passage then rewrite it in a short form, to make sure that you only deliver the main points, using your own vocabularies.

your severe issue in misspelling plausibly ruin the meaning or function of your sentence

Writing Feedback / Article summary: Once Sleepy Singapore Has Become Asia's World City-While Hong Kong Is Lagging [2]

....and two prominent marketS in the region ...
.., which according to the writer asIS a result of ...

Between 1980s and 1990s [NEED COMMA], Hong Kong was stand STOOD among world's ...
For instance, tax rates is WAS below the average ...
... two decades ago, they IT became less attractive.

... and referred to THE world's most liveable city for foreign workers ...

at all, you are quite good in composing sentences. However, despite of some minor errors, you need to concern about the flow or coherence of your writing. Cohesive devices you used read mechanically means you still need to learn how to write naturally.

Writing Feedback / Anthony Goldbloom told his worries about his niece, Yahli, 9 months old. [5]

In FROM 1990 to 2010 [NEED COMMA] machine starts HAS STARTED to accommodate people jobs, ...
... try to conduct a research and BRING invention to bring in a FOR newER and smarter machineS. After A couple OF years [NEED COMMA] the sophisticated of machines MACHINE UPDATES go far more and resultED IN a high volume ...

For examples, reading IT CAN READ million essayS in a minute while a teacher IS ONLY ABLE TO read 10.000 millions for decades. Beside that [NEED COMMA] other up-to-date machine FUNCTION that human cannot compare is ABILITY TO diagnose million of ...

In THE next 20 years, (...) which impossible to FOR manpower to compete with. But,[AVOID STARTING SENTENCE WITH BUT] .....

So Anthony Goldbloom, IS GOING TO suggest her niece to (...) without be afraid THAT the machine will take all the opportunitIES she probably has

Writing Feedback / Success is a continuous journey (TED Summary) [4]

Many people think that success is just one straight way. This is can[DOUBLE VERBS] explain why dopeople reach success and then fail. When people back to their comfort zone caused they figured ... [CONFUSING SENTENCE]. We also have to working what we love.

According to Richard St. John, success is continuous journey.
That is not only how we achieve success , but ho we sustain it.

TOO SHORT. severe issue on repetition, sentence structure, and sure the meaning or function of your sentences. need to show great effort another time

Writing Feedback / An Article Summary: Climate Change Could Destroy Wild Relatives of Cereals By 2070 [3]


a future study led by John Wiens from the University of Arizona in the US has been examining ...... used to provide half of the calories burning up by humans in order to survive from....

OR
a future study led by John Wiens, a professor from the University of Arizona in the US, has been examining ...... used to provide half of the calories burning up by humans in order to survive from....

it is good to compose complex structure. since you have been accustomed to produce complex ones, now you need to concern about its accuracy and easiness to understand

since they haveare not able to make certain
thus moving MOVE them to more appropriate
due to the estimation that the predicted rate of climate change will be 5,000 times faster than the estimated = ineffective sentence. too many similar words repetitively used although those are in different forms

Writing Feedback / Camille A.Brown represents people who love to dance [4]

.., educator and performances PERFORMER [comma] talked for TED about dance, [no comma here]she TO represents the people who love to dance. Most of people think that dance is a physical activities ACTIVITY which required to move the body REQUIRED THE BODY MOVEMENT which is mostly accompanies ACCOMPANIED with musical instrumental ...

But HOWEVER [avoid using 'but' to start a sentence] the real meaning of (...) fun or TO move the legs and ...
In this occasion, Brown was focusED on social dance, ...
... social dances are twist, cakewalk, lindy hop, bee's knee s [CAPITALIZATION] and so on. People make a group and ...

overall, you still need to be concerned on several minor issues that probably ruin you writing like, word form chosen, punctuation, capitalization, and repetition. good luck

Writing Feedback / Some extraordinary events, such as super moon, harvest moon and total blood moon. [3]

... as they are able to see an SOME extraordinary eventS, such as super moon,..
On S eptember 30, space researchers have ...
... the position of lunar IS between earth and sun.
When the phenomena comeS, people are able to see (...) in many Islamic countries which use it WHERE IT IS THE SIGN as OF THE beginning of a new year.

after read the article, I can say that you have appropriately summarized it by using your own sentences. you also made a short but quite strong summary with well-structured sentences proved by less errors that i can find. good luck on your next summaries.

Writing Feedback / A mobile fridge for vaccines (TED Summary) [2]

... improve vaccines storage SYSTEM in some part of this world where do not have THERE IS NO any access to electricity. Vaccines which saved in same place to save food and medicine had been infected by some disease and impact to decrease quality of life. [Contaminated vaccine does not directly affect human quality of life, at first it really bad for health which ultimately affected human's life. this sentence need to be revised ] vaccines saved in the same fridge with medicine and food had greater possibility to be infected by some diseases then made it vulnerable to use as it negative effects on health, ultimately people's quality of live

However, the concept of this invention have HAS been announced (...) then HAD being commercialized with...
... but unfortunately, it is WAS not really effective even give GIVES bad impact to human body. This because of ammonia giveS hugely high pressures ...

Writing Feedback / World's hardiest animal has evolved radiation shield for its DNA [3]

Tardigrades known as a creature which has aAN extreme survival skills.
... resulted from resistance to radiation and caused MADE they will keep alive ...
.., one species of Tardigrades, are IS [uncountable noun treated as singular noun, thus it is followed by "is' not 'are' ] specific to protect ...
... kidney cells against radiation damage then the result is positive. WHICH RESULTED IN POSITIVE FINDINGS. There was a good news to heard about applications of (...) distant future WHICH might protect AVOID healthy human cells ...

at all, some minor errors like in the using of article, singular/plural issue, and sentence completion in which appropriate using of conjunction needed to compose complex structure, need to be concerned

Writing Feedback / Summary of article Bouncy bone can be 3D-printed to become a universal repair kit By Andy Coghlan [3]

The sophisticated technology comes from Medical prespective ... = using specially developed ink, a new sophisticated equipment for medical purposes has been invented to flexibly construct bone with 3-D print technology.

This PRINTED MATERIAL will be implanted (...) particular bone painlessLY to be fixed in size IN THE FIXED SIZE
forthere, this (...) provides many marits MERITS including adaptable ADAPTABILITY AN giving surgeons a cheap and effective in brisk healing BRISKLY

Either way, this material is rather frigile FRAGILE because during the (...) and deteriorated, unfortunately i can not to be remodelled during which.does not make a sense. revise it

... and her team,student at Universuty of Northwestern, have developed advanceD ULTRA-ELASTIC ink that can be USED IN 3D-printed bone implants are ultra-elastic . these implants are briskly ...

@ Ifan21

Writing Feedback / ARTICLE SUMMARY: Playboy Features Muslim Woman in Hijab For First Time Ever [5]

The 22-year-old Arab-American WOMAN revealed THAT her goal is to become the first...
In fact, this October, Noor Tagouri, THE WAY SHE CALLED , has become the first ..
She is totally broke the rules which showsBY SHOWING the reality that this adult (...) but makes the revolutionary MOVEMENT to reward women and ...
... controversial among Muslim community.COMMUNITIES . She tellTALKED TO playboy readers " Live ...


Indeed, her chosen to be appeared on a sexy magazine that has its fame by portraying women as sexual objects for generations is in public world eyes

hope this can help. good luck

Writing Feedback / Camille A. Brown: A visual history of social dance in 25 moves [3]

Camille said that dance is A language that can ...
It not just a dance but, it is a choreographedCHOREOGRAPHY by anyone who want to make a sequent SEQUENCE body movement.
... that dance need a crativity CREATIVITY FOR both individuals and creative identity because social dances named Bubble Up changes ...


confusing sentence. poor coherence. can't get what you meant

We have to remember about THE history of dance.
In American-African dances how they could be influenced by history. ?

In the 1980s and 1990s this trend countinued with the emergence of hip-hop, african-american social dance that more vixible that long last past.

Read again your sentences, make sure that those make a sense and can be easily understand by readers.

Writing Feedback / A glory day to Hillary Clinton in first presidential debate [2]


Hillary started delivering impressive performance by defeating her rival, Donal Trump, in the first presidential debate at Hofstra University, America

This campaign as likeS asymmetric war ...
The candidates have not same DIFFERENT idea such AS IN economy sector WHILE Trump blamed Hillary which she do FOR DOING nothing to fix this problem along 30 years as A public representative.

On the other hand, Hillary WAS striking back which Mr Trumph BY SAYING HE talked non-sense. She was good preparation WELL PREPARRED and notoriously. By the end of debate, the THOSE candidates spent more ...

Trump had been denying for not paying income tax to federal whereas Hillary IN THE opposite said 'on behalf of myself, and I think on behalf of a majority of the American people, say that, you know, our word is good.UNCLEAR QUOTE

Thus, this debate resulted that ON one candidate who was good preparED and other confused, 1-0 to Mrs Clinton.

Writing Feedback / Many social-related problems being rushed up if somebody's speaking is ignored by listeners [4]

Many social-related problemS being rushing RUSHED up if somebody'S speaking is ignored ... [ be careful on singular/plural issue, word form chosen and subject+verb agreement. those seems simple but really affect the quality of your work]

They sometimes become frustrateD because of no any respond, evenmore for several number of several people are even squeezed by theyTHEIRsorroundingout.SURROUNDING

concern on the sense or function of your sentence

..., some factors can triggerBE TRIGGERED by their selfTHEMSELVES including gosip, judging, negativity?, complaining, excuses,...

... transforming personality into HAIL (Honest, authenticity, integrity and love). and forthermore , by organizing or maintaining your speakING/SPEECH whether you want to conditionate the atmosphere of your voice such as, volume, rhyme, empisize and nuance.

misspelling is also your habitual flaw
good luck

Writing Feedback / Why I Won't Get the Genetic Test for Breast Cancer (Article Summary) [2]

PastSINCE few years ago, (...) cancer markers, they are called BRCA1 and BRCA2.
These markers ARE able to give alert to people who have risks encounter mutation genetic and endsARE IN RISK OF GENETIC MUTATION AND LAST STAGE OF breast or ovary cancer.

... to execute the cancer threat is BY eliminating the organs which ...
This surgery can causedTRIGGER early starts of menopause and resultED to symptoms of osteoporosis...

... but it is not a strong reason to judge women have high risk to get breast or ovary cancer according to BCRA-diagnosed.
... organs will get more suffering than the one who keepS their HER ovary and breast ...

Overall, you still need to concern on your sentence completion. pay attention in some basic grammatical rules and enhance your lexical resource since it is evident that you tend to use similar words several times (repetitive)

Writing Feedback / TED Summary: A life lesson from a volunteer firefighter by Mark Bezos [2]

Firefighter is CONSIDERED to be one of dangerous jobs PROFESSIONS [concern about the differentiation between job, work, profession, and occupation just like why salary, wage, and income different each others] in the world, but Mark Bezos, an assistant captain volunteer in fire companya voluntary captain assistant in a fire company , presented his TED talk in a funny way.

It was in the middle of the night and under pouring rain [too similar with the speaker words. need to more paraphrased] when he got into HIS initial fire assignmentDUTY.

ANOTHER volunteer who arrived five seconds .....
SoTHEN/MEANWHILE, when his turn came, captain of the volunteerthe Captain said that BezosHE needED to gotGET inside the house, pass the fire and gotGET the home-owner a pair of shoes to wear.

attention that him! At [pay attention in the using of punctuation] that time, he feelT that he ......

However, through his volunteerVOLUNTARY role as a firefighter, he HAS learnt about (...) as well to learntLEARN about grace and courage a long the way.

He advised if people want to help (...) It does not to be somethings big.you may merge these two sentences into one

For example, serve food at a soup kitchen, clean up neighborhoods park or be a mentor[too similar with the speaker words ].
concern on word form chosen regarding to tenses, accuracy and function of your sentences

Writing Feedback / Clint Smith, a poet and teacher spoke about the danger of silence on the TED channel [3]

Clint Smith, a poet and teacher [need comma. additional information related to someone or something written in between commas is what we called 'appositive'] spoke up about the danger of silence on the TED channel.

He begun HIS speech with quotedA QUOTE of Marten Luther King Jr story whoWHICH reflected African movement in America.

Smith talked that silence is residue fear entire in his life and African people as well, for example, discrimination, violence and war.confusing sentence. you may want to write:

SMITH TALKED THAT SILENCE LEFT FEARS ON HIS ENTIRE LIFE JUST LIKE OTHER AFRICAN PEOPLE COMMONLY FELT. IT IS DUE TO DISCRIMINATION, VIOLENCE, AND WAR.

At the beginning [need comma] he liveD in suffered, (...), as the result [need comma] he givegave up.

However [comma] he realized that every man want to belive as normal human, have right to live which every people are needed life goodof decent life , freedom and equalITY.At short, hestandS in front of the audience is speakingto speak up against discrimination and injustice.

severe issues on punctuation. need to concern more on word form chosen and sentence completion. try to compose sentences that will easily understand for its informative value. besides, try to write longer summary so you will write more while others will give more feedback. good luck

Writing Feedback / An Article Summary: Brad Pitt Says He's Skipping His Latest Film Premiere to Focus on His Family [3]


it is fine you took that phrase from the direct quotation, but for your enhance your lexical resource you may change it and look for another appropriate synonims

"I'm very grateful to be part of such a fascinating and educational project, but I'm currently focused on my family situation and don't want to distract attention away from this extraordinary film, which I encourage everyone to see.

it is true that the article you summarized is too short. the fact that nearly half of your writing is a quotation made it imbalance. you need to show much more effort by taking the complicated or advanced article rather than very light material like this next time


but


contradicted information

force your self to beyond your limit. i know that you have shown a good performance on your recent writings, so please give us better and longer summary next time

Writing Feedback / Summary of article Technology: 'Brass rubbings' breathe life into architects' plans (ELISABETH GEAK) [2]

Cutting-edge technology has been appiledapplied for many perspectivepurposes nowadays, particularly on computer-based working.

Manya great number ofcertain convenient software embed and lAunced to improve productivity.

Therefore, architectureits researches have been pUrsuing to develop and designed sophisticated softwere based on specific technique or requirement.

Recent progrmas which are being used (...) rather stark picture sresult which is not ...
misspelling

'Architects hate presenting too 'real' an image to clients early ...

too many minor errors here. it might not change the meaning or ruin the readers understanding, but still it reduce the quality of your work. need to eliminate this kind of error for sure

Writing Feedback / TED Summary: The Benefits of a Bilingual Brain by Mia Nacamulli [3]

Speaking and Writing belong to the Active part while Listening and Reading belong to the Passive part.other one[avoid writing the same words/phrases several time. indeed, there many ways you can vary your writing style to enhance your lexical resources]

..., thus most bilingualsof them around the globe,

Firstly, Compound Bilinguals, those who develop two linguistic ... =firstly, compound bilinguals is a term for those who develop......


incomplete sentence grammatically , you may need to say: it means that they acquire and use two languages......
or meaning that acquiring and using two languages naturally, they have developed through the surrounding environment condition


the flow is hard here.. you need to emphasize or write it well so that readers will easily understand that those two sentences are still about the compound Bilinguals

at all, you need to revise your work realizing that there many spaces for improvement there. for now on, you need to more concern on the coherence of your sentences.

Writing Feedback / The hidden light of Afghanistan (TED Summary) [4]

...... tribe for thisthese almost two decades.

Million people died and deportated have successfully ... = due to millions people died and deportated, the number of citizens in this country has really dwindled.

However, the people[repetition of people. try to use another similar words or pronouns to avoid using same word several times]do not lose their humble and kind hearted behind of the destruction. = however, that massive destruction does not cause Afganistan denizens lost their humble and kind hearted character

..... other people even foreignerS that come to their country.
From the related portraits [need comma] we can feel the sadness, sacrifices and struggle of peoplethose who always ready to get attacked by Taliban ...

at all, you still need to pay attention on some minor errors like singular/plural issue. effectively use pronouns to avoid repetition, and concern about the meaning or function of your sentence so it will deliver appropriate understanding toward readers. good luck

Writing Feedback / Article Summary: Aviation Emissions Are Next Target in Fight Against Climate Change [2]

A conference in Montreal will be held this week to invite all negotiators from around the world discussing and composing a framework to limit future aviation emissions. .... will be held this week inviting all negotiators from all around the world to discuss and compose a framework of future aviation emissions...


no verb . it is also a hope of all citizens ......


you may write 'invitees' to avoid mentioning 'negotiators' several times

All of those planS can not stand alone, .....
Many airlines companies also hope for
Although , this stemming emissions (...) a difficult task, however all...... [redundancy]
..... support and hope

repetitive

. All in all, all of these agreementS address to keep global ...
In the other wordS , all residentS around the globe expect the authority commitment to fight climate ...

still need to concern on several minor issues, especially in accuracy. lexical resource also needs to enhance while just like the word form chosen

Writing Feedback / The most dangerous catastrophe in America [3]

Obesity has become [using present perfect] the number one of killer [what killer? you may need to say'killer disease' ] that giveS rise to death. pay attention in some basic grammatical rules, particularly subject+verb agreement or singular/plural issue

Bad lifestyle, less aware are the things cause this situation.bad lifestyle and less awareness about healthiness are the causes of this situation.

poor paragraphing and coherence. you need to train to compose your summary in form of one or more paragraph with a good flow/coherence rather than mention sentence one by one


most of pupils and adult American citizens do not care about what they eat while their dietary consists mainly by fast foods

The fact is, all of food they eat havinghave been highly processed, lack of freshnessfood , contain additives, and not enoughless veggies. Andasthe result, they shouldmight spend much money ...

,... sooner they will get healthy.

Some horrible cases happened in pupilsstudents , the horrible things are since they did not know ...

attach the link of article you summarized or do not change the article title so that we can also read the source

Writing Feedback / TED Summary: Changing the Face of Fashion By Mariah Idrissi [6]

When she is chosen as a Hijabi model, a model who[repetition] wearing veils to cover ...

you may write : when she is chosen as a Hijabi model wearing veils to cover her head and her hair in order to represent the way a muslimah gets dressed, ......

How do you feel?, how is your parent's [...] bizarre questions she deals with.

[i]this just like shopping list, you mentioned each questions even it is not to subtle to do so. indeed, you can add more important facts to make your summary more valuable and informative

in the rest of your summary, it just shown less minor errors while you had composed it well using a mix of simple and complex structures. good luck and keep writing

Writing Feedback / Rebecca MacKinnon: We can fight terror without sacrificing our rights [2]

there are still some similarities between your work and the source vocabulary that mean you still need to show efforts in how you make summary by relying and enhancing your lexical resource.


wrong and confusing statement. by your writing, reader may grasp that what you mean is that Rebecca had worked on several profession before. in fact, what she mean on her speech is that she has worked with many people with different occupation background


completely same words with the source. what you did can not classified as summarizing. you only copy paste several important facts without even change the words. this will not build your writing and reading comprehension

the same case happened at the rest of your writing. Thus, there is no importance for me to give feedback on yours since i can conclude that this writing is not yours.

by reading, paraphrasing, and summarizing, you will have a chance to enhance your reading and writing skill at the same time. unfortunately, you just miss the opportunity. good luck

Writing Feedback / How to make work-life balance work by Nigel Marsh [2]

Nigel Marsh lays out [explained/highlighted/pointed out/came up with an idea about/described/spoke, etc. use past tense since it just a video recording that you watched, not a live broadcasting ] about day balance day between work, personal time and productivity.

People sometimes forget aboutcreating quality time with their family ever their self because they have spent more time inas labor.

People[repetitive]need realistic they cannot spare ... =they need to be realistic that they should not completely allocate their time on working and then find the true meaning of life indeed, he said.

People need balance in life.= a balance in life is a pivotal thing.

Marsh suggestED to focus on drawING or mapING life to be knowingconsciousofabout reality.

When persons spend time to workplace for example ...confusing sentence, please concern about the sense and function of your sentence in regard to what information that you want to deliver

Those activities waste people [...] believe that it is possible.

it is evident that you should revise your summary. please bear in mind and pay attention on my suggestions, corrections, or alternative sentences so that you will not make the same mistakes next time. good luck

Writing Feedback / The best speaker must be able to present HAIL - honestly, authenticity, integrity, love [2]


instead of wrote those as two simple sentences, you may enhance your work by writing:
speaking is vital part of communication in order to influence audience thus there are several points that should be avoided when speaking

This is because many people have consider to speak and listen what other said.
confusing sentence, poor coherence. you may want to say:
all of that aspects should be concerned on speaking since most of people tend to speak dominantly without trying to listen more on what others said. [remain me, if my point of view, or the idea of this alternative sentence is wrong]

Based on the speaker [need comma] , many way to be best speaker that were HAIL. = there are several ways people can develop to enhance their speech named HAIL.

It wasis stand for H " honestly" in which speaker should be honest about the topic. Thanthen A " authenticity" means that content is real not make up mind,

...... the next is I " integrity", speak with integrity do not make combat. The last is L " love", speaker should speech by feeling. Those are way to get good speaker and response from audience.should concern about accuracy and coherence here

for the rest of your summary, please revise it! concern about some suggestions and corrections that i and other contributors gave you. good luck on your writing

Writing Feedback / An Article Summary: Everything You've Heard about Alcohol being Good for You is a Lie By Elizabeth N [3]


from the structure or function, since you wrote 'as' in the beginning , you still need to add information in this sentence. or, you may write :

as The American Heart Association states that alcohol can raise good cholesterol, provide the body with antioxidants, and reduce blood clotting that can lead to heart attack or stroke, it can be conclude that alcohol consumption is good for health.

or
according to The American Heart Association, alcohol can raise good cholesterol, provide the body with antioxidants, and reduce blood clotting that can lead to heart attack or stroke


this statement refers to? is it refer to Mediterranean diet? because if not, it will be confusing since readers would examine that American Heart Association statement is reliable data....

In fact, there isare no reliabledata[= plural] regarding to this controversial situation.
Therefore, be aware of what you hearT !
keep your heart healthy!
keep your heart!
be aware means to 'avoid' heart just like you say 'be aware of dog'

overall, you have shown a good writing with less minor errors. good luck

Writing Feedback / TED Summary: Forget Multitasking, try monotasking by Paolo Cardini [2]

According to merriam webster [capitalization issue ] dictionary, multitasking is the ability ...

... on monotask project and urgeS the audiences to do so.
For example, down grade smartphone into a very basic function or enjoy beautiful Venice using monocompas rather than retrieving lots of information from GPS.for example/for instance is followed by s+V. this sentence is not complete yet

In extreme ways, we can also consider to turn off our digital life completely. [incomplete information. need to give additional explanation]

To close his speech, Paolo emphasisED that in a world (...) lot of possibilities, he encourage the audiences need to find their own monotask.

you have made only few minor errors in your summary shown. however, you still concern on some errors, particularly in repetition issue
good luck

Writing Feedback / A Fuel Tanker Fire in Mexico's Gulf Coast [5]


capitalization issue, it is a name of a company.

successfully andwhiletheythose [refer to firefighting boats, not firefighters ] had to use chemical ...


only 'victims' is unclear. it could mean 'something' or 'somebody', you need to directly state human victims for example

... the authority set off inquiring questions related to the factors causing the fire in the vessel . In a fact, .....

at all, it seems that you already have a passable writing skill since you have structured your sentences well. However, you are still need to learn and enhance your proficiency on writing, particularly, by concerning your word chosen for example. besides, i realize that this article is too easy to summary, you just even only to paraphrase it, since it is too short. try to summary the larger or more complicated one