Writing Feedback / Easy DIY projects for kid engineers - summary ted [2]

Teaching to the student about making creativity product with a low budget. It was inspired when visited cosplay event and using daily routines materials such as a light-up crown and skirt. After that, try to conduct a flappy bird game into a box to attract the curiosity of children. It was better than playing a game in the smartphone, even when it was perpetuated in the youtube and directly got more than a million viewers in a few days. It can teach about it to children or maybe people attracted about engineering. Surprisingly, pupils were not only made this product but also played it into finish. Furthermore, children made a robot using standard technology kit such a piece of paper for decorating robot. Besides, they can start with paper and fabric as main materials so that it means the cost was very cheap since can find it in the house. Although they had been a skill to build a robot, another shape can create by themselves based on what they want. As a result, it will create a creative project in the future as using their brain to critical thinking about that. There were three approaches, firstly, having a low floor, it means you can get the materials so easily and get a simple product. Consequently, people can complete this project for under a dollar. Secondly, having a high ceiling. it means people had unlimited space to improve their creativity and feeling challenging. The last, the customization. Society can modify their project into what they want using paper and fabric. Finally, the citizen can make their own project.

Writing Feedback / Train soldiers for war. Let's train them to come home, too [2]

Hector Gracia as Psychologist wants to help people suffering PTSD. Nowadays, this can be eliminated since a research released that treatments actually get rid of symptoms. Furthermore, it turns out, the using of PTSD for military and preparing war. Warriors enable to use the devastating weapon, while good at applying the sophisticated training methods. However, they do not have any preparation to go home. The reason for this is their traumatic about the war. It is different than erasing memory because veterans always remember about that war, yet with a little training , those memories are no longer painful as they once were. The best treatment of ending human suffering caused by war is to never go to war. Eventually, scientists should give a reflected that there are a lot of beautiful places to back home and also change the mindset of a soldier to go home.

source : ted.

Writing Feedback / The information about the number of prisoners in five developed countries over eight decades [2]

A breakdown of the information about the number of prisoners in five developed countries over eight decades measured by thousands is represented in the bar chart. Overall, it is really essential to notice that United State dominated the total of imprisonment during 50 years, apart from in 1990 and 1950 since those years was led in Canada.

Initially, Canada experienced in the top rank, while Great Britain occupied in the bottom position. In the following next decade, United States took over the first position. By 1950, several countries experienced an alteration, while others had same proportion.

Comparing to the countries, United States led almost all periods and never took in the last position. Canada dominated in 1990 and 1950, while got the second position in the remaining decade. New Zealand got the highest percentage in 1990 at around 100%, yet at least in 1950 at roughly five out of ten which had middle position. There was an alteration in Australia which had 50% in the beginning, nevertheless it rose to 60%. Eventually, the proportion of Great Britain saw an increase from 1900 to 1980, while in 1970, it had same percentage with Australia and New Zealand.

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Writing Feedback / All regions in Canada had the highest percentage of international alumni in 2006, apart from Alberta [3]

A breakdown of the information about the proportion of international alumni from the third level of education in several Canadian regions between 2001 and 2006 measured by percent was illustrated in the bar chart. Overall, all regions had the highest percentage in 2006, apart from Alberta.

Initially, there were three provinces that had more than 6%. It was followed by Alberta and British Columbia. Although both regions had more than 4%, Alberta was higher than British Columbia. Surprisingly, Manitoba and Newfound Land & Labrador had a similar percentage at 3 %. This was higher than Ontario where had at 2.5%

In 2006, a more detailed looked at the bar reveals that there were only three areas getting more than one out of ten consists of New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, and British Columbia. This was followed by Quebec at around 8%. After that, Manitoba and Newfound Land & Labrador had a similar percent at roughly 7%. Then, Ontario had 6%, while Alberta occupied in the last position at approximately 4%.

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Writing Feedback / The proportion of money spent on five different items in four developed countries in 2009 [3]

A breakdown of the information about the proportion of money spent on five different items in four developed countries in 2009 measured by percentage is shown in the bar chart. Overall, all countries spent their household budget on housing, apart from Japan.

Turning to housing, United States was led in first position at more than a quarter, while the last was occupied by Canada at approximately two out of ten. In health care, United States also took in the top rank, whereas United Kingdom at below 5%.


Comparing the countries, it is found that the United States showed superiority proportion both housing and healthcare at 26 and 7 percent respectively, however it was occupied in the last position on clothing and food. Meanwhile, Japan predominated on food, yet was the lowest on transportation. At the same time, Canada witnessed the highest rate on clothing at 5% and transportation at roughly 20%, whereas it expensed on housing was the least.

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Writing Feedback / The information about the alteration number of elephants in several Asian countries [2]

A breakdown of the information about the alteration top number of elephants several countries in Asia between 1997 and 2004 is shown in the bar chart. Overall, it is really important to bear in mind that there were eight countries which had the highest elephant population in 1997, apart from Cambodia. Nevertheless, Laos had same maximum population both 1997 and 2004.

The highest level of estimation population elephants was recorded in India in both years. This was followed by Myanmar at approximately 5500 and 4800 in 1997 and 2004 respectively. In 1997, the third position was occupied by Thailand, while Sri Lanka also takes this position in 2004.

There was an alteration when comparing Malaysia after a seven-year period since the large gap appeared to be true by 2,000. Turning to Vietnam that had the number of elephants population decreased by 100 in 2004. Surprisingly, the contrast was seen in the proportion of Cambodia which experienced an increased to 1500 in the same year. Eventually, Other proportions were only a small proportion.

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Writing Feedback / The density of aging people in three developed countries [2]

A breakdown of the information about the percentage of the density of aging people in three different developed countries over one century started in 1940 was showed in the line chart. Overall, all figures experienced an upward trend. Even though the USA predominated in the beginning, Japan dominated in the end of the period.

Initially, the figure showed USA dominated proportion of the population aged 65 until 1990. It was followed by Sweden has a similar trend like USA, but occupied in the second position. After that, Japan decreased gradually and take place in the third position.

Turning to 2000, Sweden increased dramatically to 16% and takeover USA so that leading the proportion in aging aged. USA experienced decreased gradually to 14%, while Japan saw increased slightly to 5%. In 2020, USA still same proportion in this year, yet Sweden witnessed increased gradually by 15%. Japan saw a remarkable increase of around 8%. Eventually, all countries experienced an increasing, while the proportion rocketed to around 27% was recorded by Japan.

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Writing Feedback / The information about alumni of the canadian third level education, over a 15-year period [2]

A breakdown of the information about alumni of the canadian third level of education over a 15-year period started in 1992 is showed in the line chart. Overall, it is really important to notice that both figures performed similar pattern-an upward trend. The woman broke the record as the highest one.

Initially, during in the first 8-year, the number of graduates by men stood at around from 70,000 to 72,000 and it witnessed fluctuated. However, the proportion of women at roughly 100.000 to 120.000. It is noticeable that the gap was similar between the figures.

Turning to 2002 - 2006, by 2002, the alumni of women had increased dramatically to 110,000, while graduates of men escalated as well to 78,000. In the following three years, the gap between this trend witnessed widened with men and women at 90,000 and 145,000 respectively. Eventually, In the end of period the level of women's alumni reach a peaked at 146,000, whereas men occupied at 95,000 number of graduates.

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Writing Feedback / TED SUMMARY : 4 WAYS TO BUILD A HUMAN COMPANY IN THE AGE OF MACHINES [2]

Nowadays, human's job is replaced by the robot. This is due to the fact that robot more efficient than human and also human more complicated and difficult to manage. In the organization or company the leader have to build up the beautiful atmosphere in the workplace. After that, it is clear that robot does human's activities and make it amazing. Based on this trend Tim Leberecht launching about four methods to build a human company in the age of machines. Firstly, do the unnecessary, it means although the company thinking about the profit for their business, create no pressure situation in the workplace so that employee's performance will be better. Secondly, create intimacy, it opposite the loneliness. It is talking about build a great circumstance such a create a good relationship between manager and employee in the office it also makes the atmosphere more convenient for workers so that the amount of employee is not experiencing a decrease, even survive until the end of the business since they enjoyed work in that situation. Thirdly, be ugly, it means not only the alteration in the workplace, but also in their appearance such as wearing a wig for the hairstyle so that it will be entertaining one another. The last is remain incomplete, human characteristic involved in this method since making workplace feels at home so that they can organize or socialize with each other easily without any obstacles. In conclusion, although the presence of cutting-edge technology can replace a human in the office, it never replaces those methods.

Writing Feedback / writing task 1 : the number of guests visiting music on the internet [2]

A breakdown of the information about the comparison in the amount of guests in two genres of music on the internet over 15-day is showed in the line chart. Overall, it is noticeable that the proportion of both music choice and pop parade illustrates an upward trend. While, the highest position is occupied by a pop parade at the end of the period.

Initially, the figures show a widen up the gap between the level of music choice at 40,000 and pop parade at 120,000. It is followed by 7-day, a fluctuation is showed by visitors visiting music choice sites at 20,000, whereas the number of pop parade decreased dramatically to 40,000, and it represents the gap between lines is narrow down. Then, on 8-day, both of figures a gradual increase to 42,000 and 40,000 respectively. Then, from 9-day until 11-day, a remarkable increase occurs in the level of the pop parade to 150,000, yet the number of music choice decreased slightly by 18,000.

Turning to the day 12 until 13, both the figures experiences an intersection so that the level of music choice predominated the trend. In the next following day, the proportion of pop parade dominates, with rocketing to approximately 160,000.At the same time, the level of music choice illustrates an increase as well to roughly 120,000. Eventually, the number of visitors on pop parade sites reaches a peak at 170,000, while a slight decrease to around 75,000 is recorded in the level of music choice.

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Writing Feedback / The Global Dangers of Trump's Climate Denial [2]

Donald Trump who is selected as president on America's election. It will trigger the alteration about the regulation of environment especially in climate change and also replace Obama's rule. He forces to humankind to reduce their greenhouse gas emissions. The reason for this is the effect of this trend widespread immediately if human still wastes their emissions to the ozone layer. For instance, human-influenced such the burning of fossil fuels also has a big role. Donald Trump realizes this disaster is a huge treat for a human being. Thus, he makes several rules about to tackle this situation such an against tax credits so that it easier to enterprise who have the wind and solar power industries to boost their production. As a result, he wants to extend relation between all countries to utilize all types of alternative energy and it also reducing fossil fuels even though he believes this holocaust maybe gives a big effect until a couple hundred years later.

source : news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/11/president-trump-global-climate-change-denial-environment/

Writing Feedback / A questionnaire result about parkway hotel service between 2005 and 2010 [4]

The pie chart reveals the information about the proportion of questionnaire result of parkway hotel service between 2005 and 2010 and it is measured in the percentage. Overall, all services have experienced an alteration. In this case, while satisfactory and very poor experienced a decreasing trend, the opposite was seen in the remaining figures.

Initially, more visitors claimed the customer service was satisfactory at 45%, compared to other figures. This was followed by poor option at approximately 21%, while 15% was recorded in the chart for very poor, visitors said it was good at 14%. A small proportion saw in excellent.

Turning to 2010, the highest percentage was experienced in good at twice higher than the figure for satisfactory accounting for 17%. Following this, a significant jump by 24% saw in the excellent figure, boosting it to occupy the second position. This was in contrast to the figure for both poor and very poor seeing a decrease, with higher proportion shown in the former.

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Writing Feedback / We should take notice that some insects are important in our daily life. One of them is the silkworm [2]

The diagram gives the information about the silkworm life cycle and also illustrates the process of silk cloth production. Overall, there are four stages of silkworm lives, it begins with eggs being laid by the mother worm until the eggs are becoming the moth and produces eggs again during 16 days. While the process of silk cloth production has five linear steps from selecting cocoon to in the dye process.

The life cycle of silkworm starts with the eggs transform into silkworm larva in ten days and it eats leaves such a mulberry leaves to grow up, after four to six weeks to changes to silk thread and produce larva. During three to eight days it turns again into a cocoon. Eventually, the cocoon transform into moth around 16 days, it grows up to produce eggs and recycle again.

Turning to the process production of silk cloth, initially silk thread shells are selected and boiled into the water with hot temperature. After that, the shells goes to unwind process so that produce 300-900 thread. Finally, it puts into twist and weave process. Then, all of it is ready for dye process in any color to being attractive.

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Writing Feedback / Arts classes are essential for students when they have an ability of painting and drawing [2]

It is pointless making children who lack artistic talent learn painting and drawing in Art classes at school. Instead, they should concentrate on other creative and practical subjects which they may have more aptitude. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Student in Art classes is useless when they do not have both ability of painting and drawing. Then in this case, children must be focused on creative and practical knowledge to broaden their horizon and get more skills. Although creative and practical subjects are important for student, I am more likely to claim painting and drawing should be taught as a mandatory subject for all student during studying in the school since student's knowledge should balance without exception.

Practical knowledge is essential for student. This is due to the fact that it makes children more easy to deal with real life situation in the future. For instance, a current survey from education ministry of Indonesia shows that 70% of student learning creative and practical subjects can produce good performance in the workplace since have much experience after go to the field. As a result, student easy to solve the problem when face with the hardness of work.

However, it is inevitable that art classes would help student to reach same precentage with other subjects during studying in the school. The reason for this trend is this subject can balance student's knowledge in all subjects . A great example for this situation is United states education council released the result of survey in 2014 that showed 80% of student who learn about painting and drawing can produce a valuable product than student focusing only on practical subjects. Consequently, art classes is more effective for student rather than only study about general subjects.

In conclusion, even though practical knowledge is pivotal, student should should learn about arts to equalize their knowledge while studying in the school. I recommended role of government is important to create a new curriculum involving arts subject so that all school can apply this subject and make student easy to reach a achievement.

Writing Feedback / The number of gold, silver and bronze medals which were obtained by ten countries in 2012 Olympics [2]

The table gives the information about the number of medals consists of gold, silver, bronze which obtain in ten participant countries in 2012. Overall, country's rank is influenced by the quantity of gold. It is noticeable that the United States dominated all countries with their total gold.

Turning to top five ranks, United States had 46 gold medals so that occupy in the first position. Then, the second place was China which was gaining 38 gold medals. Great Britain came in the third with 29 gold medals. Although Russia had superiority number of bronze at 32, it still in fourth since gained 24 gold medals. The composition number of silver and bronze in South Korea was a minority, but it can take fifth with 24 gold medals.

On the other hand, even though Germany had bigger total all medals than South Korea with 44, it is not influenced rating due to the quantity of gold smaller than South Korea. Whereas France had the same number of gold medals with Germany, but it can not exceed the gain of bronze and silver. Italy and Hungary had similar gold medals, but Italy is better because of a total of bronze and silver above Hungary. The last position was occupied by Australia with 7 gold medals although the sum of bronze and silver can surpass ranked above it.

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Writing Feedback / Proportion of money spent on junk food, statistics from 1970 to 1990 [3]

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of money spent on junk food by different income in 1990, while the trend of fast food consumption from 1970 to 1990 in the United Kingdom is presented in the line graph. Overall,except the low level earnings, all rates of income most spent their money on hamburger. In this case, during two decades, hamburger and fish experienced an increase, but pizza saw a reduction.

Comparing the rates of revenue, the expenditure on hamburger predominated in the high-level earnings at more than 40. THIS was followed by pizza at 19, while the lowest rate was seen in fish and chips at approximately 17. Similarly, hamburger still showed its superiority for those earning average and therefore occupied the first place at 32, whereas 25 and around 10 were recorded in fish and chips and pizza respectively. Eventually, people who had low revenue more spent their money on fish whereas the less marked figure was seen in the other fast food.

Turning to the line graph, in 1970, more people consumed pizza, but this decreased slightly by 100 after a decade. meanwhile, having a small proportion initially, both hamburger and pizza saw a gradual decrease in 1980. Then, their figures, at the end of the year showed a stable trend. While pizza remains unchanged at just over 100, a considerable increase by more than double witnessed in the figure for fish and chips. A gradual growth was often seen in hamburger at the year 1990.

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