Writing Feedback / People who conduct a business should concentrate only to their aims to make money. [2]

The purpose of business is to make money and they should concentrate only on this. Do you agree of disagree?

People who conduct business should concentrate only to their aims to make money. I totally believe toward this notion, since getting money in business is for the prosperity of all parts of company including employer and employee. Besides, it also can accelerate the growth of business.

The majority of entrepreneurs have the similar objective to get income from their businesses. The fund that they make, will give the welfare for people who take part in those businesses. Taking my father's company as an example. The predominant vision of his company is to make money from the high income. Thus, my father as an owner will share his company benefit to his employee. Besides, my father gets many advantages from his business concentration to make money. As the result, people who involve on that business become prosperous.

Another reason to focus on getting money is high income can develop a larger business. Making money in a business, encourage businessman to expedite the development of their business in all sectors. For instance, Aburizal bakrie. His main purpose to get high income in his business causes him able to create other new business sectors. As the result, because of his concentration to make money on business, his businesses become more victorious. Even now, it becomes the biggest business kingdom in Indonesia.

To sum up, the objectives on businesses which entrepreneurs should concentrate is to make money. It is recommended for the new entrepreneurs to always focus on this purpose when they running their businesses.

Writing Feedback / The air leaking into the house in the first floor passes dryer vent, crawl space and windows [2]

Writing Task 1 page 35 cambridge 5.5-6.5

The diagram illustrates the circulation of air entrance and exit from a house which cause heat lost and energy wasted. Overall, it can be seen that, air getting into the house from the parts of house that connected to the outside. Meanwhile, the heat lost in the air through the ceiling to get out from the top part of the house.

The air leaking into the house in the first floor passes dryer vent, crawl space and windows above of washing machine. Crawl space between outdoor faucet and wall also the ways for the air entrance the house. In the second floor, the air getting into the house from electrical outlet, window, the crawl space at the door and from the kitchen fan vent.

The heat exit to the outside house because it is pushed by the air. The heat lost in the air through the some crawl spaces. The heat leave out the house from crawl spaces such as leaking from bathroom fan vent, plumbing stack vent, attic hatch and the crawl space between two rooms. Besides, there is energy wasted on recessed light.

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Writing Feedback / A comparison of the information about the proportion of Bulgarians who want to immigrate [2]

A comparison of the information about the proportion of Bulgarians education levels who have plan to emigrate to overseas for three periods between 2002 and 2008 is shown in the bar chart. Overall, Bulgarian people who have secondary education level were the highest proportion during three years although it had downward trend. Meanwhile, Bulgarians with primary and lower education were increase gradually.

The percentage of people in Bulgaria who have a higher education stood at 17%. There was a slight increase by 3% to 20% for this section in 2006. In contrast, it declined significantly in 2008 with small proportion only 9%.

2002 experienced as the greatest percentage of secondary education level of Bulgaria inhabitants at 65%. Then, it decreased slightly to the lowest level at 59 % in 2008. People of Bulgaria who have primary and lower education level stood at 18% in 2002. Next, there was a slight rise to 19% in 2006. This section hit to the peak at 32% in 2008.

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Writing Feedback / It will be hard for people who ignore their health to have a healthy lifestyle. [4]

Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Certain people say, if humans have willing to be healthy, they will not hard to do in this latter-day era. In contrast, another believes that it is not easy work to people practice healthy way of life. While people able to maintain their health if they want, I believe in nowadays, many things that attract people to ignore with a healthy lifestyle.

In this present time, many methods people can use to keep healthy. Support centres which provide one-package facility to become healthy are easy to find and it makes people who want maintain their health able to come there. Besides, people also can do self exercise at home and consume home-made health food and vitamins. My mother for instance. She always keep her health with consume vitamin, goes jogging every morning and eat healthy food everyday. If she has spare time, sometimes she goes to the sport centre for aerobic and diet program. Although, in reality, there are some people who able to maintain their health, but it feels difficult for the others.

Another people have mindset that it is hard to have healthy lifestyle in modern era. They think too complicated to become health. Furthermore, if they are busy with their activities, they do not want to start a healthy life. For example, my brother. He quite busy with his job and often consumes unhygienic food. He does not have long spare time to do sport. As a result of his compact activities, he has unhealthy lifestyle and fat body.

To sum up, I believe it will be hard for people who ignore about health to have a healthy lifestyle. People who realize about what the essential to be health will feel easy to implement healthy way of life. It is recommended for people to maintain their health for better life.

Writing Feedback / A comparison of information about main factors that agricultural land became less productive [2]

Writing IELTS TASK 1 (WORLDWIDE LAND DEGRADATION)

A comparison of information about the percentage of the main factor agricultural land becomes degradation in the world in 1990s is shown in the pie chart, while the table shows the reasons of less productive farming land according to the some regions. Overall, the predominant factor of global degradation of land caused by over-grazing. Meanwhile, Europe was the worst because of agricultural land degradation.

Some reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive were over-grazing, deforestation, over-cultivation, and others. The over-grazing stood at 35%. There had been declined of 5% in deforestation if it compares with over-grazing. Over-cultivation and other reasons did not give any significant influences in degradation of farming land, only 28% and 7% respectively.

On the other hand, over-cultivation became the most problematic which effect on land degraded in North America at 3.3%. In contrast, the main reason that cause agricultural land in Europe degraded is 9.8% of its deforestation. Oceania land became less productive because of its deforestation and over-grazing, 1.7% and 1.3% subsequently while over-cultivation in this region did not give any problem.

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Writing Feedback / Certain people say that children must learn to become part of society at school [3]

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Certain people say that children must learn to become part of society at school while other thinks that parents who have this responsibility. I believe school is the best place to apply this knowledge. However, parents must guide them to be kind person in their community.

School is the location when children make relationship as a friend and pupil. This place is extremely suitable for them to communicate in a good way, learn about how to help each other and also about how to responsible with their obligation as a student. Taking my youngest brother, named Raja as an example. From school he get many friends. He know how to respect with his friend in different religion. Also, he realize to finish his homework well as a form of responsibility to his teacher. Although this place is very suitable for children to grow as a member of cohort, but parent is the most important persons behind children images.

The main place for children to spend their live is home with their parents. Parent should ask to their children about what activity that they have done at school, how about the experience of children school today and what problem that children have met at school. These questions will persuade children to share their experience, thus parent able to teach them how to be good members of society, starting from their school. My mother for example. She always ask about those questions to her daughter and son after we finished our school everyday. Sometimes, I and my mother have long conversation about how to be a good person in all aspects of my community at school. This is an obligation for parents to cultivate good things to their children.

To sum up, I believe that the best root for children is their parents to guide them become good people in society. School is the best place for them to practice knowledge from their parents.

Writing Feedback / Quality of work is more important than appearance for certain companies [3]

Quality of work is more important than appearance for certain companies. Whereas office look style is needed to support employee activities, I believe that the value of work quality is the most essential than others.

Becoming employee make people must wear dress smartly such as office appearance and uniform. Office regulation encourages them to have obligation wearing suit of clothes that give neat and accordance look. It is because the assessment of work colleague is started since they look their appearance. Indonesia Development Program (IDP), one of Non-Goverment Organizations for instance. The regulation about office style for the employee in this organization, emerge because of their work relation with prominent people. As a result, the partners of this organization trust and respect to them.

However, quality of work is the most crucial above the others. It is because overall assessment from job colleague will end in this part. Employees must able to give their performance besides they wear dress smartly. For example, decision for Memorandum of Understanding from other countries to IDP-NGO is based on the quality of this organization in manage International student in overseas. As a result, other countries want to make relation to work together with this group.

To sum up, I think have a good looking when work is necessary. Yet, the most essential is how employee doing their job well and proof their best ability. It is recommended to them to able to adjust their condition where they must uphold their performance quality and also their appearance well.

Writing Feedback / How marital status impact the happiness level between spouses? [2]

A Comparison of information about the proportion of happiness from marital status according to their age and spouses that have not and have children is shown in the bar charts. Overall, the level of pleasure for people who married and single no more than half percent and marital status is not extremely affect for oldest people. Meanwhile, Having children under or more than 18 years old or even do not have any children is not tremendous important for happiness of married couples.

Husband and wives around 18 until 29 years old are the happiest at 45%. While, married couples between 50 and 64 years old have the lowest percentage at 40%. In contrast, unmarried people have level of pleasure only 21% from 18 until 29 years old and they feel happiest in the oldest age.

On the other hand, there is no significant influence between having young children and do not have any children. Those percentages of blisfulness are 44% and 43% subsequently. However, spouses that have adult children have smallest proportion of happiness at 41%

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Writing Feedback / Working as an employee in an industry/office or having own business - Task 2 hal 64 unit c [4]

Working as an employee in industry or office has less attractive for certain people than becomes an employer. Although, there are some drawbacks to start own business, I believe that the convenience often outweigh any drawbacks.

There are two main disadvantages to become an entrepreneur. The one that makes people avoid to starts their own business is vast capital. It depends on type of business that they want to start, higher quality of this business, more much money that they need as a capital. Another drawback is businessman must always innovative in developing of their companies thus, they not failing with other new entrepreneurs.

On the other hand, Starting own business has many benefits. The main one is its convenience. People who have business will not be tied by office hours. Also, they can create job, and give job opportunity to other persons. Businessman have flexibel time to manage their companies and most of entrepreneurs enjoy do their business activities. Taking my experience as an example. I am a Business woman, and I really enjoy my profession. I can arrange my own schedule and put my creative ideas to develop my business. I also able to help other people with recruit them to work together. As a result, I get high income and I feel happy when doing this.

To sum up, I think that the advantages of starting own business are greater than its disadvantages. It is recommended to people who want to start their business to put their hobbies as a foundation of their companies.

Writing Feedback / The electricity generating design from wind turbine and its best place as location [2]

Writing Task 1 HAL 56 UNIT C

The diagrams illustrate electricity generating design from wind turbine and where it optimum locations. In general, the equipment of wind turbine consists of blades which are made from fiberglass or timber, wind sensor, generator, and computer. Meanwhile, wind turbines able to be placed in the sea, near from housing, and above hill. Wind turbine in the sea not spoiled it landscape.

The process is started when blades are propeled to rotate by wind. Wind sensor read the speed and direction of wind. The Computer receive info from sensor to adjusts blades with wind direction and angle. It makes generator produce 1.5 megawatts electicity output

Two big wind turbines can be placed in the sea and above hill, while the small domestic turbine is placed in the land near from housing. The wind turbines which are placed on the hill and in the sea will get maximum wind strengths. More electricity can be generated from these turbines, each of them produce 1.5 megawatts. Whereas, domestic turbine only able to produce 100 kilowatts output of electricity

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Writing Feedback / The percentage of initial-year teachers from recruitment. Writing Task 1 HAL 35 UNIT C [3]

A comparison of the information about the percentage of initial-year teachers from recruitment of teachers according to the year of graduation in Ontario is shown in this line chart between 2001 and 2007. Overall, the proportion of first-year teachers of France language was higher than English language. There was a downward trend in the percentage of English language teachers while in contrast, the proportion of France language teachers went up slightly.

2001 witnessed more than 70% of fresh graduated was recruited became France language teachers. The percentage of teacher in this subject fluctuated from 2001 and 2003. The proportion of this teachers inclined by 3% from 67% in 2003 to 70% in 2005. Then, there had been a rise of 5% to a peak at 75% in 2007.

The percentage of English language teachers stood at 72% in 2001. There was a dramatic decreased to 40% in 2003. This followed by a slight rose to 45% three years later. Finally, the proportion teacher in this subject plunged to a small number under 30% in 2007.

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Writing Feedback / News objects - celebrities and ordinary people [2]

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

To what extent do you agree or disagree

Prominent people such as actors, singers or footballers are more prestige to become news objects than an ordinary person for the journalists. I tend to disagree with these notions. Whereas, celebrities are more important, but unwell-known citizens must be attention by media.

The lives of inhabitants should not be ignored by news hunter. It is because information about the condition of them will become a picture of community of citizens in a nation, and it will make other people know what problem that they have, and also what solution that able to give for them. For example, the improvement of quality life of inhabitants in Flores, Indonesia after media reported about clean water issue in that place. As a result, many donors help to build water transport system in Flores. Although, this information is important to know people conditions in other places, but celebrities news are more essential.

Celebrity life is attractive news for citizens. Artists, singers, and football players are public figures for society.Thus, it more crucial to update about their recent information. It is because all of people know about them, and ordinary people also put their attention to those well-known persons. Taking Raffi Ahmad who an Indonesia artist as an example. The television program about his household and daily live has highest rating of viewer than other television shows. This is a proof that media and also viewer put much their attention to his live.

To sum up, media never ignore information of famous celebrities like actors, singer, or footballers. I believe, news about them more fascinating than about ordinary people lives although it also important to report news about common inhabitants.

Writing Feedback / People's problems with integration in a new place (eg. finding schools for children) [4]

Writing Task 1 hal 16 (Integration problem for people living abroad)

A comparison of the percentage of kind difficulties for people who move to other countries according to people's ages is shown in this bar chart. Overall, persons in middle age have most problematic in a new country, while finding schools for children become the lowest percentage of problem than others for all aged.

The problem of accomplishing finance is the highest percentage for people aged 18-34. There is a slight increased of this problem proportion in people aged 35-54 to 35%. For oldest people, it decreased suddenly to under 30%.

The completing health care becomes a problem for 33% in early aged. However, it is the greatest problem for people in middle aged and over 55, more than 35% for both.

The proportion of problem of finding schools for children is more than 5% for young people. There was a dramatic increase of this problem in people aged 35-54 to 17%. Then, for elderly people, this problem becomes the less with small number only 2%.

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Writing Feedback / Children spent most of time at school and home which should be influential in terms of healthy life. [2]

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, most of children have not considered about healthy way of life. Place where they study and get education, together with their parents should responsible to give solution of this case. I agree with these notions since children spent almost all of their time at school and home.

Unhealthy lifestyle emerge from their activities and what food that they eat. Pupils tend to be have long time at school and consume snack food there. Taking data from research of WHO about lifestyle of Indonesia children as an example. The information of this study is all of elementary school students in Indonesia lack of rest and spent about 9 hours their time at school and they also eat not hygiene food. As a result, most of them have deterioration in healthy and easier to get disease.

Both parents and schools should take actions to solve these problems. It is because children take a half of their daily time at school and another time at home. These close people should be able to control physical condition of children and keep them to always fit. For instance, school of my brother and my parent. His school manage time for their pupils to have balance activities between sit in the class and time for they play and rest. His school also has selection toward food that are provided, only clean and healthy food that can be sold in school canteen. My parents also concern to their children quality life with give them home made foods at home and maintain their health.

To sum up, many children now have poor healthy lifestyle. School and parents should responsible to accomplish toward this issue. It is recommended for parents and school to pay attention about children health.

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Writing Feedback / Nowadays, every piece of business conducted by humans is easier because of the advanced technology [4]

The advance of technology makes human lives more convinient. To what extent do you agree or disagree!

Nowadays, every business conducted by humans is easier because of technology. It is agreed that sophisticated tools provide citizens long distance communication and make information more accessible.

One of compelling reasons why cutting-edge is much more convenient to public is because it destructs distance and time. This makes people who have a long distance relationship can communicate each other through their smartphone or laptop screens. Taking online application of taught master's courses program in University of Manchaster in UK as an example. For apply as an international student there, we just complete all documents by send an attachment and make communication with supervisor use an email. Although this gadget facilitates us to communicate, it will trigger a crime if the person abuses its functions.

Another reason is to give ease to access information. When a problem happens in other countries, people in the other side of world will know the information at the same time. For an example is mobile.nytimes.com that it is an online website of The New York Times. People in all over the world can access this from their smartphones or laptops and they can get all the information fast. Even if people benefited from some websites in internet, lack of rules and controls make children able to surf the web that not appropriate for them and creates a cyber crime.

To sum up, I more believe in advance devices it makes your life easier and provide accessible information to every single person. It is imperative that the government should make the rules and controls about the advancement of technology.

Writing Feedback / "Big can more" - possible ways to better the environement. [NEW]

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only large companies and businesses can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Each person cannot make a breakthrough to surroundings individually, but a great enterprise may make a difference. It is agreed that such notion consider to ability of corporation stronger than a human and each person tend to be pessimistic than being influenced by worst condition.

One of compelling reasons is companies more capable of surrounding improvement and almost all of their activities all legal entities. This leads to change made by the company to environment and it will give great influence rather than a human has done. Taking on my father office as an example which it did reforestations around of industry areas. Therefore, pollution resulting from the industry's chimney will be recovered directly by green areas. This way changes to healthier environment. Although there is some evidence to ensure the power of business, a big alteration must start from individual awareness.

Another main point is human behaviour who is quitter and easy to follow bad activities often be a barrier. For example, Awkarin known as Indonesian's selebgram who in the past was famous with her achievement and good action to encourage better life in her environment, now drastically change becomes a bad girl and no motivation on her image. Despite this real life example, nothing is impossible to people who want carry out a better change to their circle with a strong will.

To sum up, large companies will bring big improvement stronger than a human without being influenced by the worst environment itself. Therefore, it will be high recommendation for companies to increase productivity that can create change towards to better life.