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Posts by dinartika19
Name: Atikah Dinarti
Joined: Aug 10, 2016
Last Post: Oct 26, 2016
Threads: 37
Posts: 67  
Likes: 6
From: Indonesia
School: Sebelas Maret University

Displayed posts: 104 / page 2 of 3
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dinartika19   
Aug 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Toefl: Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. [4]

Hi Yusuf !

to freedom of [/s wearingany dress
in
high school students require

For some reason I will mention in below paragraphs. => For some reasons, I will mention it in paragraphs below.

wear thenthan other attires

easily wearing and school uniform
cloths => plural : singular

when all students are wear school uniforms they are looking look unique

how wear proper and formal cloths

high school .asAs a result,

School uniform all students have givesto equally attention.
dinartika19   
Aug 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : The Number of Library Books Read by Boys and Girls at Starmouth School [2]

Topic :
The graph below shows the number of library books read by boys and girls at Starmouth School from 2006 to the present.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relecant


The graph shows information about boys and girls who read books. They are students in the Starmouth School. It shows the trends between 2009 and the present day. Overall, the girls has had stable increased than the boys who has had fluctuation.

According to the chart, the number library books read by the boys grow up slowly from 2009 to 2011 and peaked at 2011 with 100 books. However, suddenly drop came over 20 books in 2012. On the other side, although the girls had minimal incline from 2009 to 2012, it jumped rapidly between 2010 and 2011.

In 2011, both of boys and girls had intersection point because they had the same amount books they ever read in the library after the gradual upward. Nevertheless, they had different path. The girls keep rose the books they read until get a peaked at 140. For the girls, the amount books growing from 2009 to 2012 is 125 books. It was 25 books in the beginning and 140 books in the last. For boys, it was fluctuative from 50 books, reached peak at 80 books in 2011,but dropped to 80 books in the end of 2012.



  • Starmouth School Library
dinartika19   
Aug 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Malaysia and Singapore - there are resemblances in the percentage of people's science qualifications [4]

Hi Khatar!

Malaysia lead => leads

Khatar, you made two conclusions here :
1. Overall, in both countries there are resemblances in the percentage of people's science qualifications levels.
2.In conclusion, the people's science qualification degree of both countries is similar.

I think it's better for you if you just use one conclusion and put it on the first paragraph. You can use overall like you did in the first paragraph.

I hope you can use more than two sentences in one paragraph. The minimum sentences : three
dinartika19   
Aug 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / The amount of money for book clubs received from city council and how it affected members number [4]

Topic :
The graph below shows how much money a city council gave to the book clubs over a four-year period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words


The graph shows the amount of money of book clubs received from city council. The graph also gave information how many book clubs members there were in the city. Overall, there were an upward trend in the number of book club member and the amount of money a city council gave to book society.

Over the four-year period, there were a slight increase in the amount of money that was given. The amount of money rose slowly from first year to the second year.There were a sharp rose in the third year and reached a peak in the same year. However, the customers number fell for the first time in the fourth year.

At the same period, the number of book club members fluctuated. The book club number declined dramatically from year one to year two. Accidentally, same as the money city council gave, the book member clubs also had a significant growth . In year four, the book number still incline rapidly and reached a peak.



  • Council Donation to Book Clubs
dinartika19   
Aug 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Reading of fictional stories can be more enjoyable and beneficial than watching movies. [2]

Hello !

compared : compare

how much we are successful: how much successful we are..

Most of the readers will have a creative mindset
it states that reading fiction books :they state which/that

I am aan avid reader
I find a free time : I have a free time

it can improves

our imagination power, and writing skills. => don't use comma

reading of fictional stories

Enjoyment comes when their is progress and satisfaction in doing the best thing.: I'm sorry, this sentence is hard to understand
dinartika19   
Aug 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Is it worth to promote tourism? It has many negative effects on the country and society [2]

Topic :
Some people say that tourism has many negative effects on the countries that people travel to

How true is this statement? What can tourist do to reduce the harmful effects of tourism on local cultures and environments?


In the past century, the number of tourist increased to the countries where the travelers go to. At many places, we can easily find people from another countries which were once just locals. I think it has bad impact on these countries.

Firstly, tourism can promote local culture. Because of tourist, local citizens try hard to improve their place, such as make a unique festivals and innovate local food, so other visitor can enjoy their trip and locals can get money from it. However, when they go to sightseeing around looking the culture, it does not mean any problems happens to the local citizens habits. Sometime, visitors bring their habits and culture to the countries they went to. For example, Nowadays, there are so many pub and cafe selling alcohols in Yogyakarta, although the Yogyakarta inhabitants do not drink alcohol. It is just one example, there are many others such as drugs and prostitution.

On the other section, environment also get a big impact of tourism. When tourist season come, many people will gather in one favorite destination, and the destination will become very crowded so congestion are everywhere on the road. Other environment problems are water supply, littering, pollution, and sewage production.

The best solution is make ecotourism in some places. The visitor not only come as a tourist but also can give good impact by helping local citizens keep their nature and culture safe. The other aspect is how goverment make good policies for tourist such as pay fines for littering or use minimum and maximum people who can enter the historical sites so it can reduce the damage of the sites.
dinartika19   
Aug 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary an article: Polio back in Nigeria, still attacking African people [4]

Hi Fadhila !

This is a summary based on an article : This summary is based on

Polio is deceasesa diseasethat was attacking African people

After declaration Polio free in Africa : After Free Polio Declaration

government has immunized every children rapidly and ensureensured that nothing

Nigeria's Government and WHO make
made cooperation

Based on globallyglobal cases,

... by Pakistan and Afghanistan., The Talliban has opposed to immunization program in both countries.
dinartika19   
Aug 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / How can we speak powerfully to make change in the world? [6]

Hi Ramzi !

thisThis question leads us toin[/b ]serious introspection on [b]about ourself.

The speaker believesthat it is because our habitsthat make us didnot listened.

namely Gossip, easily judgingjudge someone, negative thinking, complain without action, makingmake up an excuse and blame to someone, lying, and dogmatism

it is unsufficient if we only try to avoid this habits

He argueargued that

This is what he callscalled

a sing song
dinartika19   
Aug 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Interesting information about two traditional methods used to collect water in the past [3]

Topic :

The diagrams below show two methods of collecting water for irrigation purposes.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The diagrams give us information about two traditional methods used to collect water. Overall, both of the methods are useful to the farmland. However, they rely on different power and depth of the water.

The first methods called the swing basket used to irrigate water from the river that is usually 1-2 meters deep to the farmland. The tools consist of basket made of bamboo or leather and tied by four ropes on the all sides. Two people will hold he ropes and get the water from the river. Then, they will swing the ropes, so the water from the basket can splash to the agricultural land.

The other method is rope and bucket. This method is different from the swing basket because it is pulled by buffalo and are not got from humans. The ox is tied in a slope that connected into bucket in the deep well under 50 meters. When the buffalo pulls the slope. the rollers and pulley will moved, and the bucket full of water will come out from well and enter the irrigation channel beside the well.




dinartika19   
Aug 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / According to the survey the married couples that doesn't have any children are happier [3]

Hi Tyar, I thik you need to add the chart if you want to get a brief comment.

I'll help you with the grammar first.

Married people aged from18 to 29
children effect the increase

NB :
- you need to use more advance word,
- try to paraphrase
- you can use other relative pronouns, such as which, where, who, and not only using "that"
dinartika19   
Aug 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Ted talk 7 the way we think about work broken. [5]

Hi Fadhil!

Barry givesgave a question for
It isdoes not mean the technology of something, but the idea of technology.

Sciences Science find the idea or a way, (uncountable noun)

Idea technology : The idea of technology

by understanding about human being.

youmust focus
dinartika19   
Aug 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Most citizens claim that spectacular landmarks are essential for a town [3]

Topic :
Some people think that large, impresive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should spent on improving schools and hospitals. Disscuss both these views an give your own opinion.

Most citizens say that spectacular landmarks are essential for a town. As many city in other countries built great buildings, sometime they take aside money from improving schools and hospitals. They think goverment should use money wisely by improving schools and hospitals.

Public facilities are the most basic needed for a town. It is a great investment for a city to make better future. The goverment cannot left behind this critical problems because we do not know what will happen in the next ten or twenty years later. If we are not ready facing the global issue, the new challenges and disease problems next are more difficult. However, if goverment only focus on the facilities, I think it is not a wise choice too. There is a reseach about happiness citizens which said if the city make good big buildings for public, it will increase inhabitants happiness. Because, some people in urban area, will spend their free time to go to beautiful places and relax their mind before go back to work. Happy mind means healthy body. Not only for neighbourhood, but also tourist from other area will come and incline city's income. City income can also grows up, because if the building is a well-known enough, many investors will easily invest their money to this town. Afterwards, goverment can use more money to build better public facilities.

Overall, schools and hospitals are important as basic tools for a city, but by build a spectacular building, goverment can get more income to improve more public facilities.
dinartika19   
Aug 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Way People Enjoy Their Leisure Time [3]

Hi Hirani!

journey to abroad

Travel to abroad : traveling abroad

they want to get new experience

they can interact with the household, they are able to walk around and they are capable to learn the ...

how to be survive

has no interactions.

the precious adventure thanwhich we cannot find
dinartika19   
Aug 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / Powerful earthquake shakes central Myanmar [2]

Hi Azmi!

August 24th, 2016

where is an ancient capital of Bagan locate.

less likely to cause disaster

as a deep earthquakes

But still, => please don't use but in the beginning of sentence, change with : However, Nevertheless, in spite of this

Note : you can use other specific relative pronoun such as : which (to talk about animals and things) or where ( to talk about places) than just using "that"
dinartika19   
Aug 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / People rather choose sitting in the sofa, watch the show, and get information about other countries [3]

Topic :
Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it.

How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it?


Nowadays, a lot of TV channels broadcast many beautiful places from other countries. People rather choose sitting in the sofa, watch the show they want to know, including the information about other countries. For many, this changed when they began to travel. They started to learn many thing about culture, different types of food, habits, and get personal benefits for experiencing itself than just seeing it in the TV. As a result, they had better understanding by learning their behavior.

However, for some people, their ideas remained unchanged. They believed that we don't have to go to other countries if we only want to learn about them. By having a trip, we just spent our money for nothing. Unfortunately, this is still true today. In my country, Indonesia, despite having a vacation to other country, citizens loved to used their money to buy or used by something important, such as : house, education's bill, health insurance and other equipment, because they think vacation to other countries just for wealthy inhabitants, so for middle classes, learned other nations from screen is enough.

In addition, for some people who don't have so much time to spend, learning from TV is the best options. They just need to switch on the TV, choose the information the want to know, and they will get it in instant. It is very different when they experience it directly. The need to make a plan, choose the date, and other requirements.

In my opinion, therefore learning from experiencing the trip to other countries itself make us have better understanding, but for some middle class citizens like me, watching television is more than enough to get all information from so many countries.
dinartika19   
Aug 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / Students create a tool that turns cigarette smoke into oxygen [2]

Hi Azmi!

This notion might be describedescribed

... Afdi, high school students

HeThey came with the idea

Therefore, they cancould magically

absorber fan that cancurrentstream 2,000 volts electricity

The reaction of ozone which is produced by plasma (a name for the high voltage), and CO2 will produce ozone and oxygen produced by CO2.
dinartika19   
Aug 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : Living in the High-Rise Apartment : Lonely Experience or Better Sense of Community [NEW]

Topic :

Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Other say that people who live in high-rise apartment have a much better sense of community than those who live in the houses

When a high-rise flat build in the urban area, citizens usually have their own opinion, some have positive reactions but another have negative one. The ones who have certain opinions say that skyscraper apartments gave us chance to enhance the sense of society. On the other side, they state that they feel lonesome from neighborhood.

If I could tell my opinions, living in the block of flats have many advantages. They usually have public facilities such as spa, gym, swimming pool, and function rooms. All of the spaces make us interacting to the neighbors. Some who against it reply the building create a closed society who are separate from street life. People on the ground cannot see where you are and what are you doing. It is very different when you live in house.

However, the skyscrapers are more accessible for everyone. There are connected area from from our residence which link with grocery shops, malls, restaurant, and other entertainment area allowing us to easily have social gathering for examples : school gathering, business meeting, or community services projects. From my experience as a person who stay in a tall apartment, I easily conduct a meeting with my schoolmate, because we live in the same structure. I don't need much time to spend in the street, so we have more quality time.

In conclusion, some citizens can say high-rise apartments divide us with street life. Nevertheless, we can have better impression to community. It all depends on the way we live in the society itself.
dinartika19   
Aug 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / Producing electricity using two methods: hydroelectric dam and wave air generator [4]

Topic :

The diagrams below show two methods of using water to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The diagrams show how electricity can be made from water by using two methods : hydroelectric dam and wave air generator. Both of methods have same devices like turbine, spindle and generators. However, wave air generator is more simple than hydroelectric dam.

First, hydroelectric dam consists of gate, resevoir, penstock, turbine, spindle and generator. The process begins when the gate is opened, and the amount of water come into penstock. The quickness of water flow is depending on the width and the angle of the penstock. Fastly, the water head to the generator and twist the turbine and spindle. As the tools rotate, the generator starting to produce electric power and distributed by power lines.

Second, wave air generator consists of chambers, turbine, spindle and generator. The procedure activates when the waves go trough the first chamber and get into the second chamber where locate in the upper floor. In this area, the waves bend the spindle and push the generator to create electricity.

Both of methods have same devices like turbine, spindle and generators. However, wave air generator is more simple than hydroelectric dam.
dinartika19   
Aug 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary of Travelling in the Ancient Ruins in Peru. [5]

Hi Path!

site Machu Piccu : Machu Picusite

Since Archeologist Hiram Bingham foundedfound it in 1911

Machu Picchu werebecame famous ofamong travelers.

The wonderswonderful building nearby city of Cuzco isaround thirty kilometers.

In there the traveler can take transportation mode.several mode of transportation

Machu Piccu mount offers wonderful views
dinartika19   
Aug 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / The chart gives information about problems that people who live abroad may face. [4]

Topic :

The chart below shows information about the problems people have when they go to live in other countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart gives us information about cities problems when they living abroad. Overall, it can be see that the problems remain stagnant although there are slow fluctuation. The main fact that stand out is middle age inhabitants have the biggest percentage facing the problems.

The greatest problems for people aged 35-54 years old are to manage their heath body at 37 percent. However, older people with the range number over 55 year come last for under 30 percent and the second from the bottom is the youngest individuals. Financial problem become the second biggest problem to handle and the average middle-ages inhabitants still in the first position with 35 percent. The next is the younger people only with one percent difference. The easiest problem for all ages is to get school for their children with under 20 percent and specially grandparents come last about under five percent.
dinartika19   
Aug 29, 2016
Undergraduate / Why Uchicago essay - I'm not sure about it. Tear it apart... [4]

Hi Mr. Chammer!

And then I really was petrified => don't use : For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So, in the beginning of sentence.

While there is an appeal inabout all these things thatwhich drawsdraw me to Chicago , they are (...) read about it many times.

After every college visit :After visiting every parts of the college

I thought about it I gotthe more reasons

it is one of the things I love most about it. => it is the best thing I ever see
dinartika19   
Aug 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : Recruitment English Teacher and French Teacher in Ontario between 2001 and 2007 [5]

Topic :

The graph below shows information about the recruitment of teachers in Ontario between 2001 and 2007.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.


The line graph gives information about how many graduation who choose become a teacher in Ontario from 2001 to 2007. Overall, although English and French language teachers started the same point in 2001, but they had different result in 2007. When French language teachers remained stable, English Language teachers decreased slightly.

According to the data, from 2001 to 2003, people who work at school as a teacher being recruited declined by 40 percent. In other hand, there was a fluctuation for enrollment of French educationers, starting in 70 percent in 2001,it fell by 19 percent and then grew up again to 69 percent.

In 2003, both of French and English teacher enlisting had slowly increased for over three years. Afterwards, both off these recruitment had the same pattern like in 2001 - 2003 that happened in 2005 - 2007. The number of education bachelor who recruited fell by 25 percent, however the number of French teacher went up and down until reached a peak at 74 percent.



  • Percentage of first year teachers with regular teaching jobs by year of graduation
dinartika19   
Aug 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / Participation in education and science in developing and industrialised countries [2]

Hi Ilmi!

levels of population in developing and developed countries = you can change the passage by : the contribution stage of developing and developed countries population in education and science

... technicians which began at 10 and 40 initially for developing and industrialisedboth of countries respectively, then increased by 5 and 25 over a one-decade period.

Other words for :
developing
~ growing nation
~a country which becoming economically more mature


developed
~ fully formed country
~ country which has useful or necessary infrastructure

dinartika19   
Aug 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / Radio, television, and Internet shows over and over gossips stories and entertainment news [2]

Topic :

The media pay too much attentions to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors , singers and footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

Radio, television, and the internet go over stories about gossips and entertainment news for almost all day long. As a result, many people affected by the media they watch everyday. I believe media should tell about real life common person and do not show about different world where the celebrities lives.

Citizens who argue that well-known people should be reported have important reason to share. They suggest that public figure can change other people's life. They can motivate their fans to become better person. As example, the famous football player, Cristiano Ronaldo, helped a child from Aceh when The Tsunami happened. Ten years later, the boy changes and becomes the famous young soccerrer .

On the other hand, there is one main reason why ordinary people hould be showed in the media. Of course, they live in a real social life and they are not created by the media want for public consumption. Without a camera, they daily life are still going but their inspiration tend to be uncaptured. So, it is important to the media to take their life into the screen. For example is Butet Manurung, an educational activist who teach in the rural area in Sumatra. What she is doing inspires Mira Lesmana, the film producer, to create biography movie about her. Because of these movie, many inhabitants follow her path to make social community based on educational purpose.

In conclusion, more people should know there are many people like them who can do better thing although they just normal person.
dinartika19   
Aug 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / Highly-invented-sophisticated technology have most important impact on living standards of mankind [7]

Hi Dipar!

technology have the most important impact

In my standpoint I agree with thatthe statement, because advances technology make people have a lifestyle of hedonismhedonism lifestyle and change people's mindset to leave traditionalmodern lifestyle.

on people's habit over recent decades

I would suggest that people doshould not affected by the lavish lifestyle and remains yourself.
dinartika19   
Aug 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / How to See the Upcoming 'Great American Eclipse' (SUMMARY) [5]

Hi Erpin!

Since 1979, total eclipse never crossescrossed American continent but in August 2017 you canwill get a scarce experience in ...

... will sweep from sea to shining sea, following a 8.600-mile path that takestake 8,600 miles pathit from Oregon to South Carolina.

Actually, I'm confused with your summary. I hope you can write better summary for the next time. Good luck!!
dinartika19   
Aug 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / The machine for generating electricity consist of two main parts : steel tower and a computer room [3]

Topic :
The diagrams below show the design for a wind turbine and its location. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevants.

The diagrams show a machine for generating electricity from wind and where it can be placed. The machine consist of two main parts : steel tower and a computer room. In general, the machine appears to be the easiest way to renewable energy which do not harm the appearance of the place.

The process starts when the wind passes the steel tower and then move the turbine which made of fibre-glass or timber. As the blades move, the wind sensor will detect speed and direction of the blades. The next step, the operator can get information about it from computer room where placed near the location. From there, the electricity can be measured.

The location where the wind placed has many criteria. Firstly, if the turbine placed in a high area, it can produces higher electricity, because it get the best level of wind strengths. As concequences, the landscapes will spoiled by the tower. Alternatively, the tower can be placed in the lower area but the quality of the wind is not as good as when it placed in a hill.



  • wind turbine and its location
dinartika19   
Aug 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED - Averting the Climate Crisis. Make the massive persuasion campaign. [3]

Hi Aris!

we acquireecquired the new temperature records in January.

Prior average of januariesJanuary's tempereature

The moremost global warming pollution is come from buildings.

To avoid the climate crises , we can reduce emissions inat home likesuch as buy green electricity, be a green consumer and make a decision to live a carbon natural life.

Next, you canshould consider making your business carbon neutral.

The examples are become catalyst of change in society, teach others about climate crises, and active in the politic to make democracy work.

Make the massive persuasion campaign to influence many people Let's ... => I'm confused with your sentence, no subject and verb
dinartika19   
Aug 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Talks : How to Make Stress Your Friend [2]

TED Kelly McGonigal : How to Make Stress Your Friend

Kelly is a psychologist who help other people release their stress. However, she said that she harmed many people by saying that stress is an enemy you should avoid because it can make a cardiovascular disease. However, she changed her mind and here is the reason.

The research conduct by Harvard University found that people who died because they believed stress is harmful for their body increased 43 percent. In America, 182,000 death is caused by people who assumed that stress is bad for their health. The reason of dying is "the stress believers" not the stress itself.

On the other hand, if people change their mind about stress, they can make their own body healthier. When the the mind is stressed, the heart is pounding because it prepares for action and the breath is going faster so the brain getting more oxygen. Stress also has positively social impact for individuals. When a person stress, she/he will produce oxitocyn, a neuro hormone which active because the needed of social instinct, the same hormone when somebody hug each other. Oxitocyn has function such as add physical contact with family, raise empathy and more willing to help and support others.

Oxitocyn is not only act of your brain but also your body. Carsiovascular system, main part of body, will help the blood vessel relax when somebody starts to stress. The blood goes to the heart, the place where has receptor to release oxitocyn. In addition, when somebody has social contact because the needed of other support, they will release more hormone which make them recover faster from stress.

Choosing of the task responses as helpful and not harmful will create biological approach and choosing connected with people who under stress can create resilience, so stress gives access to the heart( joy, meaning, and connecting with other) as a positive energy. It is not about getting better at stress, but how to make profound statement that we need to trust our self, handle life challenge and remembering that we don't need to face them all alone.
dinartika19   
Sep 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / The graph below shows relative price changes for fresh fruits and vegetables, sugars - Writing TASK [6]

Hi Terminal!

1. Your summarise is under 150 words, you will get a penalty if doing this. It's better if your words contain 160 - 170 words.
2. There are many redudancy in your summarise, here the alternative you can use in your summarise

noun :
decline / incline
decrease/increase
drop
full
an upward/downward
growth
rise
fluctuation
jump
plunge
rocket


adjective :

dramatic
gradual
large
marked
minimal
rapid
sharp
significant
slight
slow
small
steady
steep
sudden

dinartika19   
Sep 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / WHEELCHAIR - ACCESSIBILITY ISSUES (SUMMARY TASK 9) [3]

Hi Rosa!

A rapid growth of older inhabitants ... => The older inhabitants grow rapidly in the developed country.

onOn the other hand, (...) come from thea poverty, an injuries and a conflict society.

Wheelchair gives a bigger occasions to the sufferers to runrunning their lives, to bebecome more independent,

The interior modification canshould be done to a few sides at home,
dinartika19   
Sep 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / The happiness ratings for both: single people and those in relationsip, and the effect of children [2]

The charts below show the result of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the U.S, and the effect of children on the overall ratings of married couples.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevances.


The charts provide information about general feeling in different ages. The first chart compares people happiness between single and wedded individuals. The second chart looks at factor that people think they might be happy because of it. Overall, married people are happier than unmarried people. In addition, children factors are not related with their happiness.

According to the data, married people have higher percentage of happiness around 40 percent than unmarried person around 20 percent. However, from the age gap between them, they have stable percentage. Special case come from unmarried people at the range age 65 and over. They get the highest score at 34 percent.

On the other hand, the second chart shows that there are no relation for married people to have children or not with their happiness. The data tell that no matter how old their children are, their happiness remain stable above 40 percent.



  • Married and unmarried people
dinartika19   
Sep 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / My summary task about social Networking [9]

Hi Aris!

Thethe popularity of a social networking ...

among the people of all the ages.

The super popularity => The famous reputation

The entrepreneurs as wellcan use it to run their enterprise,

NB : you should add the table/graphic data, so we can correct your answer
dinartika19   
Sep 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / In this consumer driven economy, owning redundant possessions is a commonly practiced custom [7]

Hi Mem!

The current age (...) focused towards thean upcoming fashion thatwhich varies from the latest gadgets to the hottest outfits.

An Early bird booking of ...

Moreover, the attachment of celebrities with the trendy products

from social institutes like,such as family, school or community center

Hence, the abovethe reason makes it clear ...

the Government can take an initiative likesuch as imposing
dinartika19   
Sep 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : Being an Business Owner or Working for a Company? [2]

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organisation. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

It's becoming increasingly popular for people to become an entrepreneur rather than getting a job in the workplace. Although there are some challenge and and disadvantages to build own factory, I believe that future dream often overweighs any problems. There are two main difficulty to start business. The one that draw the most attention is the high modal they need to build the factories and buy the utensils. Unless the businessmen/women are rich enough, bankcrupty may be the hardest part they should face. A further disadvantage is an unstable income. This means the money you get is depends on how hard you work and sale products. It is very risky for your daily expenditure. On the other hand, make own business is everyone dream job. The main one, it can increase your social status. People who run business almost has a good comment from other people and it grows up their publicity. The other advantages is a leadership skill on your profile. Because it is your company, you learn how to manage people, estimate the cost you need and make a good plan to increase your profit. In addition, you have more flexible time to spend. You can manage what time you will come to your office and back from work. All in all, I think many people should have a better dream job, and that prestigious job is becoming an entrepreneur. These job can make people get higher social status from their environment, improve their leadership skill which better for their life and have a flexible time.
dinartika19   
Sep 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Summary Al Gore Lecture Task 1: Video Summary [4]

Hi Pady!

... Stated and Nobel Prize achievedachiever in 2017

According to the data

... trucks have significant contributedcontribution in global warming.

According to Al Gore

Reducing in negative impact of the climate change at least some solutions do are the first,there are some solutions

AndAt the last lecture of ...
dinartika19   
Sep 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2 "Some kind of paid work work children in many countries" [4]

Hi Ziad!

In many countrycountries parents involve their children for some kind offreelance work.to work as freelance

For some parents (...) they have opinion for this.about it.

The other reason is takinglearning to take responsibility.

InOn the other hand,

they should spend most of their time by take learning ...
dinartika19   
Sep 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / 'Education is priceless asset.' People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons [2]

Hi Reza!

Education is the priceless asset.

This is because governments or factories ...

This is because,The reason brings such ideas gives a place

becomes thea gate way for people

There are a long course and a short oneand short course

purposingThe purpose ofto understandunderstanding the way human being lifehuman life

preparing forto obtainobtaining money

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