Writing Feedback / Task 2 Visitors Should Follow The Customs Of Local People Or The Host Should Welcome Other Cultures. [2]

Question : Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Globalization era is forcing all countries to open their mind to accept other cultures. Many people think that a country should be open-minded and welcome another which want to spread their cultures. Others think that it is better to keep the tradition as way they are by making rules for visitors to follow local customs and behaviour. I believe that it is better for inhabitants to hold their prestigious culture without any influences from others.

By learning different tradition can make people to boarden their horizon and having a good relationship with other regions. People will easier to adapt in the different situation if they learn the behaviour of other first. As an illustration, people can work in other regions by becoming modern dancer which they learn in their own country before they depart. However, this condition can make a country lose their identity which is the most pivotal thing for them.

Maintaining the culture and not influences by others is not an easy thing to do. Government should make the regulation for visitors who come to their teritories to follow the customs and behaviour of local people. Maybe for visitors it will be uncomfortable but if they really want to know tribal tourism in a country it does not matter for them. Actually, it is also a good opportunity to increase income because these days many inhabitants are enjoying tribal tourism.

All in all, it is good for people to learn different tradition from another region. On the other hand, i think it is better for a country to hold their unique culture as way they are.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 Reasons Why Land Degradation Happen And 3 Regions Which Are Affected [4]

The pie chart gives information about the proportion of the main causes of agricultural degradation. The table displays the percentage of the effect of degradation land in three different areas in the world during 1990s. Overall, the biggest reason why agricultural land was less productive is over-grazing and the most affected region was Europe.

Looking at the details, over-grazing had the biggest number of the reason why land degradation happen, at 35 percent outnumbering deforestation by 5 percent. Over-cultivation only 2 per cent lower than deforestation. While other had the least number of all reasons.

Europe became the most affected regions of land degradation, at 23 per cent outnumbering Oceania by 10 percent while the least was North America, at 5 per cent. Europe always had the highest percentage of all reasons except for over-grazing while Oceania had the highest number of using graze too much. In over-cultivation, North America had the higher proportion than Oceania but smaller than Europe. Europe had the biggest number in deforestation while North America was the least.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 Employee Should Think About Appearance Or Quality Of Work [3]

Question : Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

When people work in a company, the owner will force their employees to have a good appearance. They also have a uniform in order to get good image. Others believe that performance of work have a greater point to be considered than outlook. I would argue that people will get many complements if they have good quality in work than only think about what they should look.

Appearance holds a pivotal thing when inhabitant work in an organisation which giving services to customers. If they wear casual clothes to meet client, their client will think that the employee do not have intention to work. For example, people who work in marketing fields always dress up because they have to persuade customer to purchase product also they bring the name of the company.it means the employee is the face of the company. If their clothes dirty, their client will not buy what they sell although the product has good quality.

On the other hand, an organisation always look their employees performance by watching their result without thinking what they look like. When they get great result, their boss will give them complement although their appearance are too ordinary. If they have good way of look but bad result, the company will warn or fire them. In contrast, when they have good quality of work but ordinary performance company will still give them complement.

To conclude, both of views have an important role in the work place. However, i think that have good quality of work is more important than have good feature.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 Fashion Items Cost Much Money [2]

Question : Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fashion items always be a part of people's life. Right now, the number of shops which sell clothes, shoes, accessories are increasing because many people feel that become fashionable is important although it costs much money. Others think that those cost too high. From my point of view, people need to follow trends but does not need to spend much money.

The first impression of others is by people outlook. If they dress up, some people will think that its look good on them but when they only wear casual clothes others may think it is not appropriate. For instance, before a seller meet a client, they have to look neat and if they have a good appearance, their client will give positive feedback. However, to have a good look, people do not need to purchase high cost.

Many inhabitants think that a product which has high price will has high quality. Some branded product are high of charge but have standard grade. Only because the product is well-known by many people, it does not mean that it has high quality. Also, they believe that products from other countries always have better standard than local ones. In fact, many local commodity which has higher quality than brand from another country. People can use local one which has lower price but still look fashionable.

In conclusion, as a primary needs, fashion always be hunted by inhabitant even though it is a luxury. On the other hand, i believe people can still look fashionable without purchasing expensive brand by using local goods to get lower price with high benchmark.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 Result of Survey On Happiness Rattings In Married And Unmarried People [NEW]

The bar chats display the result from a study about happiness feeling for people who already married and bachelor based on their age and the effect married couples who have or have not children. Overall, it can be seen that all the people who get married has a little different number and all of them has number above 40 percent and the happiest spouses is people who has children under 18.

Looking at the details, the happiest people in married groups is the youngest group (18-29) at 45 percent while the happiest in unmarried groups is the oldest at 34 per cent. People who aged 30-49 and over 65 years old has same percentage at 44 percent. In unmarried groups, people in their 30s-40s outnumbering people who are older and younger than them by one percent. Spouses who have children under 18 are happier than couple who do not have children. The least happy couple is married people who has children above 18 years old.

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Writing Feedback / The benefit of becoming a business man or women are greater than being an employee [3]

Question : Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organisation. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past, many people prefer to work in a company or became civil servant than have their own business but now, many inhabitants choose to start up a business. Although there are many obstacles which they face in order to make their business steady. I believe that the benefits of becoming entrepreneur outweigh the drawbacks.

Become a successful entrepreneur is a risky decision. There is a probability that their business can not work well and they can lose much money. Many business man and women who are bankrupt and lose all their properties because many problems which they face. Another disadvantage is they can not get a steady income. Sometimes they get much money but other days they only get a few. On the other hand, working in a company or become civil servant can give them stable income each month.

Even though it has unpredictable result, many people decide to take the risk because they realize that it can open job vacancy to other people. Many inhabitants who do not have work because they do not accept by the companies. By starting own business can help other to get a job and become an owner means that they become a boss. A further advantage is they will have a flexible time for their family. Whenever they want to take a leave, they do not need a permission from their leaders and wait for acceptance letter from head office.

All in all, I think that the benefit of becoming a business man or women are greater than an employee. They can help others, and become a leader also have much time for family.

Writing Feedback / Summary Article How to Eat More Vegetables And Less Meat in Three Weeks [6]

Reducing intake of animal meat can reduce cholesterol and blood pressure, also it will help to lower the risk to have degenerative disease like heart disease, diabetes mellitus, and cancer. Vegetable will also help to reduce the developing chronic disease. It contains of many nutrients and anti-oxidant which people can not get from meat. However, it is not easy to change meat to vegetable. Jacqueline Andriakos has some suggestions how to increase intake of vegetable and reduce animal protein in 3 weeks. In the first week, try to subtitutes meat to mushrooms, and make the meat only a half portion from the usual portion. In the second week, switch omelet with oatmeal on the breakfast then in lunch try to consume salads with fish, in the dinner reduce consuming fry-foods. In the last week, makes it as a routine. Using savory flavour in order to get better taste, eliminate meat from the dinner, and try to make vegetarian recipe each week.

Link : time.com/4461927/flexitarian-diet-less-meat-more-vegetables/

Writing Feedback / These days, many entertainment news report celebrities activities and their private lives. [2]

Question : The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

These days, many entertainment news which report celebrities activities and their private lives. The number of the news is increasing because many viewers which are curious about famous people's lives. However, some people think that this kind of news are not important. It is better to report the lives of ordinary people. I believe that it is better for media to report about ordinary people who can inspire others.

Public figures like singers, actors or footballers always attract many attention of the inhabitant so that many media broadcast their story. Satisfaction of the viewers is the purpose of media to get news. The media will try to find out news which will satisfy fan curiousity. Although, the news are not giving any influence to the watchers life, they still enjoy it.

On the other hand, inspiring people giving much more benefit to others. Their story or behaviour can make others want to change their life to be better or want to follow their path. By airing this kind of news, it will motivate many inhabitants to have passion to change their life.

The main purpose of the media is to entertain the viewers or the readers. However, it is better to inform useful information like healthy lifestyle, story of successful person, and inspiring person than information about the way artists life or their romance story.

In short, i think media has an obligation to educate inhabitant not only entertaining them. If they only provide information of celebrities, this will influence the way of people think and it is bad for them.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 Wind Turbine Design and The Optimum Location [3]

The diagrams displays how the work of a wind turbine and where the turbine can be placed. Overall, it can be seen that the turbine which has simple design is used to create electricity has four different parts while the optimum location will influence the electricity which is produced.

A wind turbine has four different parts blades, wind sensor, generator, and steel tower. The blades is made from fiberglass or wood. The function of wind sensor is to measure the speed and the direction of the blade. Generator is used to generate electricity which use wind as the substance. Electricity can be produced for about 1.5 megawatts from one generator. A computer which is installed near by wind turbine are connected to wind turbine and has a function to inform sensor adjust blades.

Wind turbine can be placed in a wide landscape which is far from housing. If the turbine is placed in a higher place, the maximum result can be produced because it has maximum wind strength.

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Writing Feedback / Summary TED Why By Feeling You Are Ugly Is Bad For You. [3]

Many teenagers think that the appearance will give a big influence in their live. Ten thousands people every month google "Am I Ugly". This leads to depression for teenagers. Most of these teenagers looking for an inspiration from magazine like proana, bikini bridge which use zero size model to be their brand ambassadors. It makes them think that beautiful appearance is by having thin body for women. Most of girls are now choosing not to do something because they don't think they look good enough. They have low self-esteem which lead them to damage their health. People also always judge others by they look not what they are doing. According to the research, the way to change this culture is by their family, friends and relationship. The second way is media and celebrity culture and the last way is working together between government and communities. By doing this, people can encourage teenagers to have positive self-esteem so that they have confidence to do many things in their lives.

Link : ted/talks/meaghan_ramsey_why_thinking_you_re_ugly_is_bad_for_you

Writing Feedback / Women Who Were Abused As Children Are Likely to Die Earlier - Summary Article [2]

According to a new research which is published by JAMA Psychiatri said that when children are abuse, it will increase the probability to die earlier. The number of respondent in this research for about 6300 adult men and women and being followed for 20 years study. They asked about the experiences with childhood emotional and physical abuse. As a result, women who reported experiencing abuse as a child were more likely to die from any cause during the 20-year follow up compared to women who did not report being abused. The researcher make a speculation about why abuse highten the risk to death. The think that abuse will lead youngsters to do drugs which can affect their health. Another possibility is mental health issues like depression which can lead to suicide. It is not clear yet why the result different between men and women but they speculate that the differences is in the bilogical responses to stress.

Link : time.com/4455353/child-abuse-stress-death/

Writing Feedback / The number of French and English graduates who found job as a teacher in a big Canadian city [2]

The line graph gives information about the number of fresh-graduate French and English teachers based on the year of graduation in Ontario from 2001 to 2007.

Overall, in the beginning of the period, the number of French and English graduate who found job as a teacher was at the almost same percentage. However, to the end of timeline, both show an opposite trend,french language teachers had a slight increase while the opposite one decreased dramatically.

Looking at the details, in the first two year, english educators experienced a significant decline from 72 per cent to 40 per cent while the proportion of French teachers went down by about 15 per cent before went up to just below 70 per cent. From 2003 to 2005, both of lines had a same pattern. It showed a steady incline but in different levels while French teachers had higher percentage than english teachers.

In the last two years, english educators experienced a noticeable decline and dipped by 14 per cent to 2007. In contrast, the number of employment for those who teach french language rose gradually and reached a peak at 73 per cent which only 3 percent compare with the starting point.

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Writing Feedback / 'Find time for yourself' - The Way To Have Healthy Lifestyle essay - Task 2 [6]

Question : Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

These days, many people do not have a lot of times to work out in a gym or to do sport. It is very hard for them to have healthy lifestyle. However, some of them still can stay healthy although do not have enough times to do it. I believe that there are many ways to keep people's health and it depends on the people itself.

Right now, many people who have jobs which need much times to be finished so that they do not have time to exercise. They spend most of their times in the workplace and comes home late. In the morning, they need to go out for working and in the weekend they will use it to take some rests.

Although they use most of their time to work, they still can have a healthy way of life. By cycling to the workplace means that they are exercising. People also can do exercise in the workplace. For instance, they can do push up or sit up while work or they can use stairs despite the lift.

It does not matter if only little exercising like walking, running, or cycling at least they not sit in the same place for a long time. This way also help them to have better lifestyle. Unhealthy way of life can be a disaster in the future. They can suffer from many diseases after 10 to 20 years later. It is better for them to change their lifestyle.

In conclusion, do not have enough times can not be the reason for people to have bad way of life. They should do exercise each day or at least 2-3 times a week to stay healthy.

Writing Feedback / Level of Education of People In Bulgaria who Tend To Leave Their Country [2]

The bar chart elucidates the percentage of people who have plan to leave Bulgaria based on their level of education from 2002 to 2008. Overall, secondary education had the highest percentage to live in other countries for each year while the least was primary and lower education in 2008.

Looking at the details, the highest proportion of all years was secondary education which had percentage more than 50 per cent and it experienced a slight decrease from 65 percent in 2002 to 59 per cent in 2008. Higher education showed a fluctuate trends and had the least number at 9 percent in 2008.

In 2008, primary and lower education rose dramatically and it almost two times higher than in 2002. In the first year, it had 17 per cent and in the last year for about 32 per cent. In 2002 and 2006, higher education and primary and lower education had a slight different number only 1 per cent.

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Writing Feedback / Summary Article Global Warming Started to Happen In A Long Time Ago [2]

Many people think that global warming is started from 20th century. According to new study from Australian National University which is published by Nature prove that human have been contributing to global warming since mid-nineteenth century. The climate changes are witnessed by people started from 180 years ago. The data which researchers looked for is natural resources such as coral and ice. They have a diagnose that the difference in temperature increase between different geographic locations across the globe to a variety of climate factors including ocean circulation. This is the reason why the temperatures in Arctic rises faster than in Antartica. Although, the contribution of human in greenhouse gas emission bigger in this century than in the past. The higher number of people who do littering and deforestation make the earth warmer than before. If this continue to happen human will begin to feel the worst impact of increasing temperature.

Link : time.com/4461719/global-warming-climate-change-humans/

Writing Feedback / Task 2 Who Have The Responsibilities To Teach Children To Be A Good Members Of Society? [2]

Question : Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

As a part of communities, people need to have a good social skills so that they can have a good relationship with others. Some inhabitants believe that people who are responsible to teach children are their parents while others think that school have to do something about it. I personally believe that parent is the one who have to take this as their obligation.

The first person who children now is their parent and they are the people who shape their child character. It is better for them to teach about how to behave and how to have a good personality in order to adapt with their environment. Childhood is a time when children become follower of their parent. Whatever their parents do, they will follow it.

Children spend most of their time in the school so they need to take in charge to teach their student about how to make friends and well-behave in their society. The duty of school not only to teach but also to educate their student.

Although children spend most of their time in school, I think parent still have the biggest responsibilities to create their children to have a good character. By getting involve with their activities and try to be their friend will help parent to have better relationship with their son or daughter.

To conclude, become a good member of communities is not an easy thing. Children need to learn many things from their mother and father also from their teacher in school. However, parent have bigger responsibility to this matter.

Writing Feedback / The common silkworm's life cycle and how silk cloth is harvested from them [4]

The diagram process illustrates the silkworm life cycle and the methods of producing silk cloth. Overall, there are 4 steps from mooth become cocoon or the main ingredient of silk cloth while it needs 5 steps to make silk cloth.

To begin with, the first step eggs are produced by mooth and it happens in the mulberry leaves, after ten days the silkworms are born from the egg. The silkworms will eat the mulberry leaves as their food. About 4-6 weeks later, the silkworm alter into silk thread. The last cocoon is shaped after 3-8 days from silk thread. The main ingredient to make silk cloth is cocoon. If the cocoon are not used to make silk cloth, it will change again to mooth after 16 days.

The second process is how to make silk cloth. The first thing people should do is selecting the cocoon. After that, put cocoon into the water and boil it. The next process is unwind the cocoon in 300-900 m high. After it twist, put into the water to make it softer, then weave it. Finally, the silk cloth is ready to be shaped.

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  Life Cycle of silkworms
  

Writing Feedback / Who is Responsible Of Children Unhealthy Lifestyle? How to tackle this problem? [2]

Question :many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

On the present day, only a few children who are playing outside. Most of them prefer to stay at home and play video games or watch television. They also like to eat highly-engineered junk food. If this continue to happen, they will suffer from many diseases in the future. To solve this problem, I believe that both parents and schools have have an attempt to conquer this situation.

Parent have the biggest obligation to their kids which means everything that children do, the parent should support it especially if it is a positive activity. Started from 3 years old, it is better to guardians to take their kids to get involved in sport. By this way, the children will use to it and can make it as a good habit. Also, parent should avoid to bring their kids to consume hyperpalatable food.

When a child is started to grown up, they will spend most of their time in school. Therefore, school have to control the student's lifestyle. To help reduce the risk of unhealthy way of life, school can make a rule for student to exercise everyday at least 30 minutes to an hour. School also need to supervise the student lunch by providing healthy food in the canteen.

Another element who has responsibility to resolve the problem is government. They have to take this problem seriously. If the young generation has bad lifestyle, it will also influence the future of the country. By making regulation like prohibition to provide junk-food in school can help to decrease the risk. In fact, right now many trader who sell unhealthy food which contains of danger substance.

In conclusion, all of the people need to co-operate to condense the danger of unhealthy way of life which many children have. Not only parent but also school and government must take an action.

Writing Feedback / Summary Article Children : Leave them Alone [5]

Alison Gopnik is a developmental psychologist and writer and Paula Flass is social historian. Two of them agree that parent should not "over-parent" or manage children too details. Parent have to stop arranging children activities and expecting big things from their kids also let them trough their own life with their way. Gopnik wrote in her book The Gardener and the Carpenter and told people that "parent should be like gardeners, tending young shoots and providing fertile ground. Instead, many resemble carpenters, chiselling away at them to create an image of success that has little to do with their kids' wishes, talents or needs". By this way, kids can adapt in this unpredictable world. By making full schedule for the children it means parent rob the essential growth of their children. Flass also believe if the parent worry too much and always provide anything for their kids, they can not be an independent person and difficult to survive in the future.

Link : newscientist.com/article/mg23130874-500-the-kids-are-alright-if-you-leave-them-alone/