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Posts by andika08
Name: Andika Irianto
Joined: Sep 13, 2016
Last Post: Dec 1, 2016
Threads: 81
Posts: 73  
From: Indonesia
School: English Studio

Displayed posts: 154 / page 1 of 4
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andika08   
Dec 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / Nano technology is created by tiny molecule that rearrange atoms [2]

Nano technology is created by tiny molecul with rearanging atoms. Some scientists conduct experiment with chemical safety to create it in factories. By the time goes on, there are so many debate about it, but the most important term is how to use it in the right way. Moreover, there are several usage for this innovation such as field transportation, new generation of computer, generate power and wide application to help people activites. Moreover, the unique purpose is coming from nano robot, it can reduce the human work by rebuilding some construction and cleaning up environment from disaster.
andika08   
Dec 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / The team of marine conservation agency Oceana Atlantic discovered a Lantern Shark in Mediterranean [2]

Summarize article : Polar species spotted in the deep seas of the Mediterranean

The team of marine conservation agency Oceana Atlantic discovered a Lantern Shark in the deep seas of the eastern Mediterranean. They can describe its like the body has 20 centimetres long and glowing bright blue along its spine and belly. By this invention, they feel fascinated about it. Moreover, The leader named Aguilar gave their opinion that an area was natural. They think in the deep sea field was less in biodiversity that make small number of race from the predator. Surprisingly, they found another discovery, it was brightly coloured coralligenous gardens 80 meters down. By this activity, it will give benefit to determine the convenient environment for marine conservation places by the Lebanese authority.

source : newscientist
andika08   
Nov 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summarize article : Why diet drinks with aspartame may actually help make you fatter [2]

People want to maintain their healthy with consume some diet drinks. In some cases, one of the refreshment contain the artificial sweetener aspartame. Latest experiment suggested the aspartame was crucial interfering human body with an enzyme. The enzyme was called intestinal alkaline phosphatase (IAP). IAP worked neutralization the lipopolysaccharides, bacterial toxins that irritate the gut lining. However, according to Hodin and his colleagues from Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston experiment showed that when it mixed with the sugary drink, it does not react. In addition, it evidenced with using extra IAP such as pill or supplement will possible treat for chronic diseases such as metabolic syndrome and diabetes. Furthermore, when the aspartame was consumed in combination with a fatty diet, it would lead to increase weight gain.

Source : newscientist
andika08   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Finland can be a pioneer for using the new energy, that does not depend on the coal [2]

Summarize article : Finland set to become first country to ban coal use for energy

Finland was the first nation that will make the regulations to ban the coal energy by 2030. This is the fact that the cost of coal experienced significant drop over the years. Afterwards, the authorities decided to allocate their budget to the another renewable energy in the previous year. Apart form the new innovations, if this condition apperead to be true, it would make the country to be radical since applied this law banning coal. However, with this situation Finland can be the pioner for using the new energy that does not depend on the coal energy anymore.

Source : newscientist
andika08   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Constructing an underground building in a rural area [2]

TED Summary : Experimental Design for House

The speaker talked about the experimental design for house by a professional but not an architect. He made plan to construct the underground building. Therefore, the rural area has been chosen for his project. Also, he looked for the low price and use recycling materials to design it. The interest part in his project was using a lot of mirrors and windows. This is because that the materials can absorb the sunlight. Afterwards, it can be useful to generate the electricity. In addition, he tried to use the recycling materials as with this way it can reduce the negative effect in environment.
andika08   
Nov 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Handedness, the article about music and sports [2]

The topic talked about handedness, a speaker took example from Mathew who has artikel about music and sports. To begin with many different sports that gave beneficial not only for sport, also to identify strategy in the game. Moreover, how important handedness was people can focus on their flexibility in one situation. Another research stated that mix handedness will increase their capacity on occupation. Moving to the another several different sports that the most player tend to use hand, feet and eye. For example, hocky and tennis sports, more needed the mix handed have significant chance as to be more confident than the single handed. In stark contast with playing instrument music such as a violinist with using one hand reaching the high of level handedness.
andika08   
Nov 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summarize article : Porpoises plan their dives and can set their heart rate to match [3]

There are two divers called Freja and Sif want to costumize their heart rate to suit the length of dive with porpoises and cetaceans. With this activity, they can predict to consume oxygen before dive since the depth and length was very deep. Moreover, at the present time, they know that the heart rates of both animals have related to the different dive factors, such as dive duration, depth and exercise. As time goes on, as a matter of fact, the harbour porpoises have cognitive control of their heart rate that make them can take longer time in the deep water. However, they cannot be disturbed by loud noise since they will experience panic condition.

source : newscientist
andika08   
Nov 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Ten pictures and ten stages of the chocolate production - linear process [2]

The diagram shows the information about the stages in the chocolate production. Overall, the process involves ten steps people made linear process. The first step was find the source of chocolate from cacao tree and end results in pressed liquid chocolate.

The first stage of chocolate production, the chocolate can be found in South Amerca, Africa and Indonesia. Moreover, the cacao tree will produce the white cocoa beans. Moving to the another parts that the white cocoa beans should be fermented in the large box. As time goes on, the beans was put in the large box and was spread in sun to dry conditions. Furthermore, the beans was put in large sacks.

Turning to the shipment, the beans was transported by train and lorry to the factory. The beans was roasted in 350 o C. Furthermore, the outer shell was removed to get the beans. More broadly, the beans was crushed by machine. In the end of the stages, it was the crucial part that was inner part pressed then the liquid of chocolate was produced.



  • chocolate.jpg
andika08   
Nov 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / How cement is made? Which materials are used in the manufacturing process? [3]

WRITING TASK 1 : How cement is used to produce concrete

The diagram shows the information about the stages in the cement to use for concrete production. Overall, the process was divided into 2 ways people made linear process. The first step was put raw materials and end results in concrete mixer.

The first stage of cement production was insert the limestone and clay into the crusher until became powder. Afterwards, the powder passed through the mixer for several minutes. Next, it passed the small pipe. Moreover, the combination of rotating heater and heat will produce source of cement. Another steps, the material was grinded by grinder and can produce cement. In the end, the cement was packed in the bags and can continue to the another steps.

Turning to the concrete production, the measure about the several materials such as the cement (15%), water (10%), sand (25%) and gravel (50%) was included in concrete mixer. More broadly, the machine will mix the materials and the it will produce the concrete.



  • semen.jpg
andika08   
Nov 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / The water cycle: the first step is the evaporation and end results in a rainfall. [3]

The diagram shows the information about the hydrology cycle to produce water. Overall, the process involves about 4 steps by natural way. The first step is the evaporation and end results in rainfall.

The first stage of the evaporation from the sea and invisible water vapour. Moreover, the sun's heat causes evaporation by the large amount of water to produce water. Then, the wind carried out it to form a cloud. Next, the accumulate of cloud that made rainfall happened especially in high land since the clouds cool further. Afterwards, the water through to low land by several ways such as water carried downstream by river and pass through the porous rock.

In addition, when the water cannot pass the non-porous rock, it will accumulate in the area such as lakes and river. When it comes to the sea that water stored in here. This was the meeting point for all the water as it moved to the down land.



  • water.jpg
andika08   
Nov 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Life cycle of a frog - the process involves about 7 steps by natural way. [2]

WRITING TASK 1 : Life cycle of a frog

The diagram display the information about the life cycle of frog. Overall, the process involves about 7 steps by natural way. The first step is from eggs and end results in adult frog.

The first stage is eggs being laid by the mother frog near to the seaweed. Next, the embryo comes up from the eggs after several days. Afterwards, another steps, it was tadpole that was divided into three steps. It begin with young until adult tadpole. Moreover, the growth of frog has front legs that can use for swimming in the water.

Turning to the three last steps, before moving to the another environment, they started of having pulmonary breathing and can live in two differents habitat such as land and water. Morebroadly, the young frog experienced growth with a small tail in their body. However, the adult frog does not have a tail in their body. In the end the adult frog can start of the new cycle.



  • frog.jpg
andika08   
Nov 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / The changes in an American town between 1994 and 2010 - essay for WRITING TASK 1 [2]

The both maps display about alteration of the development in cities in America over sixteen year period. Overall, there are significant change with the several facilities that had been built in the town.

A more detailed look at the graph, after the construction, the commercial buildings was by far dominated in beside the canal. Afterwards, the local supermarket was changed by the commercial buildings. Beside, the houses was knocked down too in this area. The Supermarket was built across from the Petrol Station. Moving to the north-east side, the facilities such as the airport was erected and changed the two factories also the location near to the high way. Close to the supermarket area, the commercial buildings was designed with the number of three construction.

Turning to the south-east side, the number of residential houses still same as before as many ten houses. In addition, close to the canal the sport stadium was built in the area.



  • map_3.jpg

  • map_4.jpg
andika08   
Nov 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / The two maps display an area before and after the development in Brandenburg over 20 years period [2]

The two maps display about an area before and after the development in Bradenburg over twenty year period. Overall, there are significant change with the several facilities that had been built in the town.

In the center of town, after the construction, the railway station was constructed to across the sea between left and right area. Moving to the eastern side, the facilities such as big building was developed bigger than before that close to the bridge. Also, the tree was cutting-down and witnessed drop the number. In south-east, the interesting side come from the supermarket replaced many houses. However, the house experienced decrease number by four.

Turning to the western side, the airport was built near to the school. On the right side, it can be seen that there is a massive development in settlement sector with the improvement by two houses. In addition, in the bottom side, the factory and the port were constructed in close to the railway station.



  • map_2.jpg
andika08   
Nov 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / The alteration of the development in a random village over 70 year period. [2]

The both of maps display about alteration of the development in village in Stokeford over 70 year period. Overall, there are significant change with the several facilities that had been built in the village.

In the center of village, after the construction, the retirement home become the meeting point. Afterwards, the River Stroke passed through the village from south-west to north-east. Moving to the top side, the farmland dissapeared from all of the area. However, it was changed by many houses with the access of new road. Beside, the important side come from the primary school that was developed larger than before. In addition, the shops was replaced by houses and the motor way has been designed to connect between the center point and others facilities.

Turning to the bottom side, before the changed, the farmland was by far dominated next to the River Stroke. When it comes to 2010, it can be seen that there is a massive development in settlement sector. Moreover, there were no gardens area anymore close to the center point.



  • stokeford.jpg
andika08   
Nov 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / Chris Aderson - several sciences experiments discovery [3]

TED Summary : How simple ideas led to scientific discovery

There was an explanation about several sciences experiment by Chris Aderson. Firstly, Richard discovers about the Inertia. It was an experience when he was child that about a ball to the back of wagen. Secondly, Erastothenes measures the distance between Sweden and Alexandria to find out the diameter of Earth. Thridly, Galileo sets up an experience about light, he calculates the speed of light by a piece of equipment. However, he cannot get the result as it was too fast. Moreover, Armand F. finishes the previously discovery. All in all, with the invention by scientist , it would change the worlds.
andika08   
Nov 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / Speaking different languages is beneficial for the person who posses this skill [2]

TED Summary : The benefits of a bilingual brain

In modern era, we enter to majority of bilingual languages in the world. By having many languages, people can use it for travelling around the countries and also can work with the different of friends. The languages contains two active parts such as speaking and writing also listening and reading. In more detail, the multilanguages will effect for the left and right brain people. The left brain using for analytical and dominant action. In other case, the right brain can be used to connect an activity everyday also for emotional feelings by people. All in all, by learning this multilanguages, it gives remarkable advantages such as smarter thingking than others and more healthy too for society.
andika08   
Nov 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summarize article : Creative cockatoos skilfully make tools from different materials [6]

There is an activity from Alice Auersperg from University of Vienna in Austria. She saw cockatoo namely Figaro become the smarter than others bird. This is because he splinter a wood and used it to reach the nut from their cage. By the time, it was followed by other birds too. Moreover, she and her colleagues tried to plan a stronger case for cockatoos that will made a special tool. She started with four male cockatoos, including Figaro. Then, each bird just had several times to make tool such as fashion a long and thin to reach the nuts. The result was effective, most of them can pass this test. All in all, Auersperg said from this experiment that they and their friends can see the behaviour of the cockatoo was impressive and they were natural toolmakers.

Source : newscientist
andika08   
Nov 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summarize article : earthquake happen in New Zealand [4]

There is an interesting topic about earthquake. Earthquake typically caused by the movement of the Earth's crust. It happen in New Zealand with the power of stress 7.5. By this condition, it can continue to increase the major risk of the earthquake that had been found by John Ristau and their team. Also, there were two people became the victim of this situation. Moreover, it could sign for another disaster such as Tsunami but it not occured. Besides, New Zealand can get the another effect from fault near the interface of the Australian and Pacific tectonic plates. The new earthquake that caused in Autralian and Pacific plates, namely Alpine Fault can make big damage for the states said by Kevin McCue in Central Queensland University. All in all, the latest earthquake is not related to the Alpine Fault that had been state by Ristau.

Source : newscientist
andika08   
Nov 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / These days, many people are trying to learn English, approximately 2 billions of students [3]

TED Summary : English Mania

The is an interesting topic about mania. In this day, many people trying to learn english. The number of people started to study this from approximately 2 billions of them. The most mania english came from China. Many people in this world choose english language as it can get opportunity for better life and job. All in all, English became the global conversation for solving problem such as Global climate, hunger and disease.
andika08   
Nov 13, 2016
Writing Feedback / Angela Lee Duckworth found a way to be a better person and shared her experience [3]

TED Summary : Grit : the power of passion and perseverance | Angela Lee Duckworth

The most demanding job in Angela period was teaching the children in the school. When Angela taught 7 grade a mathematic in New York City Public School, she made quiz, test, homework and assingment every day. She found that iq was not only different between the best and worst student. Some of the strongest performance student did not have better iq score than others. She believed that one of her student could learn the material of study. If they focus on study a subject, they can reach their dream. After taught 7 years in school, she got that what we needed in education which was understanding well between student and learning the subject. Moreover, She left the school and started to be psychologist. She found many information about kids and adults from all any kinds of superchallenging settings. After that, she and her team asked about several question related to ability of people from kids and adults. In conclusion, she discovered grit was the answer of the problem. Grit was about the passion and perseverance to be better person.
andika08   
Nov 13, 2016
Writing Feedback / Some interesting facts about a huge reservoir of water that was found inside the Volcano in Andes [2]

Summarize article : Huge Lake Discovered 15 Kilometres Under a Volcano

There is an interesting fact about a huge reservoir of water that was found inside the Volcano in Andes, Bolivia. Besides it can be a new landscape on Earth, it can help scienticts to understand how such eruption are probable to be happened. It is also contain an important part of formation from continental crust as the water circulates in the interior. In one hand, there was an anomaly in 15 kilometres beneath the current dormant Uturuncu Volcano that had been founded by John and his friends from University of Bristol, UK. The anomaly is called as Altiplano-Puna which the magma body causes some effects, such as make the movement of seismic slow down also it can conduct electricity. Furthermore, Blundy's team try to make experiment by using varying amount of water that include pressure and temperature, such as in the real nature. Afterwards, they found a particular water that content electrical conductivity which related to the anomaly. By this experiment, they get a result as water is one of the volatile compounds that dissolve with magma in low pressure to cause volcanic eruptions.
andika08   
Nov 13, 2016
Writing Feedback / The proportion of expenditures on five different needs in four developed countries in 2009 [3]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections for you

Firstly, pluskid was right. You can change your word of 'respectively' with successively/ consecutively
Secondly, too many words of 'by almost'. You can change it into roughly/ approximately/ at close to
Thirdly, too many words of 'the least position'. You can change it into tiniest/ smallest proportion


... consumption, Japanese becomehad the best proportion ...

Americans spent the lowest (...), which was shown by almost ...

Thanks
andika08   
Nov 13, 2016
Writing Feedback / The figure for imprisonment in five different developed countries in a fifty-year period, from 1930 [2]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections for you

... five different developed countries inover/ during a fifty-year period, which/ that was started in 1930 and measured in ...

Here my suggestion:
A breakdown of the information about the figure for imprisonment in five different developed countries in a fifty-year period that is shown in the bar chart. It was started in 1930 measured in thousands.

... While the others number of imprisonment remained below.
Madina was right. If you want to use comparison, you should give 'than the other' statement in the same sentence to emphasize it

... around 100,000. (...) and around 140,000 criminals ...
Give me correction if I am wrong. You have mentioned 'the unit' in your introduction. So I think it will be fine, if you just mention 100 or 140

In the end of timeframetime frame , only Australia (...) number punished that no more than 60,000 offenders.

Thanks
andika08   
Nov 13, 2016
Writing Feedback / Downloading copyrighted music and books from the internet - IELTS Writing Task2 [5]

Hello, I'll give you some suggestion

Firstly, this is IELTS Writing Task 2, so you should write down your essay more than 250 words.

It is true that the internet has made it easier [...] consequences for both individuals and producers.
You paraphrase the question successfully, but you did not have strong argument in regard to task response. You can give your idea directly after you state your 'positive consequences'.

Body 1:
On an individual level, the availability of free-of-charge [...] encouraged to try as much music as they want.
Furthermore, you have well-develop idea with give an example and result. I recommend you to give brief conclusion to clear your statement

Body 2:
Give another idea

Conclusion:
It is important to give conclusion in your essay due to boost your score. You should rerwite your idea, also it will be good if there is a suggestion from you
andika08   
Nov 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / The graph compares the estimated maximum population of elephants across a range of Asian countries [2]

Hello
I have some corrections for you

First of all, you have to attach the picture to help us correct your essay.

... population of elephants inacross a range of Asian ... (I recommend you to put your overview in the same paragraph with introduction)

Second, I think you have a problem with using comma. You do not have to give a space to put a comma.

Overall, It is noticeable (...) highest in India, as well as, we can see the interstice between 1997 and 2004 that was a huge amount in there.

..., remaining regions just were not importanthad tiniest proportion due to comparison with India.

In 1997, elephants make up almost ...
In 1997, the population of elephants in India had the greatest number at 10.000

... the population of elephants seriously dropped dramatically to 7,500. This kind of situation also occoured inand it was followed by Thailand ,from 3,800 to 1,200.

Thanks
andika08   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / The choice for some people is to be happy from an early age [3]

The choice for some people to be happy from early until end of their age. For example, studied from the teenagers all the way they do activities until old age to see what people can stay happy and healthy. The longest current study of Harvard Development stated that 75 years of people that feel happy as many factors influenced them. In addition, the scientist track the life of 724 men. They asking some question such as their home, home lives and health. Many problems face during this test as it was not easier than others study. However, there are still life people that join the test and now, he was age 90 years old. Moreover, since 1938, they try another ways such as divided people in a group. First group of men who studied at university and second group of boys from boston experienced some probem with thier lifes. All the teenager get interview and medical exam and also their parents got interview too. The result from this study or the factors made the people enjoy their life was God, relationship, keep them happy and healthy from day to day. There were related to relationship situations that supported this way such as social connection, quality with close relationship and have a good partner. This message showed increased healthy until old aged can be done and still aware about little mistake to broke the relationship.
andika08   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summarize article : Why Yellow Birds Mysteriously Turn Red [3]

No one will realize why a North America woodpecker's feathers are changing its color from yellow to red. However, there were some ornithologists have noticed some bird's yellow feathers have strangely turned red. They thought the birds have bred with another member, such as the red northern birds which is lives in the West, but then they figured out that the red birds are thousands of miles away from these eastern North America woodpeckers.

According to new research published in The Auk, the observation has given a result that 'you are what you eat' has proven unexpected true. The answer why it turns out to be red, because of its diet. The birds is eating red berries which can turn their feathers having a dark deep red color. The changing color into yellow, orange, or red hues is common in bird's feathers which actually come from the food they eat that produce some pigments.
andika08   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / The number of foreign learners alumni from colleges in several towns in Canada [2]

The bar chart reveals information about the number of foreign learners alumni from college in several towns in Canada over five-year period. Overall, except Alberta, others countries was by far the most significant changed. Also, New Brunswick levels was by far the highest proportions of others.

New Brunswick levels far dominated of graduating people both of the years at 7% (2001) and approximately 12% (2006). This was followed by British Columbia, almost 5 % in the first of year and around 11% in the last of year. In addition, the large gap was seen in the level of British Columbia by 6% when it came to 2006. Unsurprisingly, both Manitoba and Newfoundland&Labrador still stayed the same of proportion by 3% in the former year and 7% in the latter one.

Turning to the another diverge proportion, Alberta proportions experienced a decline of number by 4% when it moved to the end of year. Other level of countries performs only a big-scale for alumni college proportion.



  • graduate.JPG
andika08   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / A breakdown of the information about the proportion of captives in several nations [4]

WRITING TASK 1 : Imprisonment in five different countries

A breakdown of the information about the proportion of crime punishments in several nations over the 50 year period, measured by thousands is illustrated in the bar chart. Overall, only Great Britain and USA showed an upward trend, a converse appeared to be true in others nation. Also, USA numbers was far the highest rate in 1980.

Great Britain was by far the most siginificant changed in the first 20-years. In contrast, Australia and New Zealand prisoners experienced downward trend in the same year. The fluctuated trend was seen in Canada offenders. Unsurprisingly, New Zealand and Australia stayed the same of proportions by 100,000 in 1930.

Turning to the last 20 years, Gread Britain crimes still experienced rose of number to 80,000. While Australia offenders had slowly climb, however, they fell down to 50,000 in the end of year. In addition, New Zealand had slightly increase until the latter one. In other case, USA and Canada prisoners performed fluctuated to 140,000 and 100,000 respectively.



  • Crime.JPG
andika08   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / The housing was the most significant sector of all surveyed countries expenditures [2]

A breakdown of the information about the proportion of expenditures five different basic needs in several developed countries in 2009 measured by percentage is illustrated in the bar chart. Overall, housing was by far the most significant sector of all country's expenditures. Also, USA proportions was by far the highest number in housing.

USA far dominated the proportion of housing and health care at 26% and 7%. This was followed by Canada in levels of Transportation and Clothing in 2009. Moreover, Japan levels was lead in the refreshment sector at 23% than others. Unsurprisingly, both Canada and Japan proportions spent on same budget in Health Care.

Turning to the another diverge proportion, USA levels experienced the lowest of number at 14% and 4% in Food and Clothing. As well, each Canada proportions stayed at lower rate in housing, similarity with Japan numbers in transportation. Interestingly, United Kingdom people not much spent on their funding in Health care sector.



  • expenditures.JPG
andika08   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Elephants from India outnumbered other animals from Asian population [2]

A breakdown of the information about the biggest number in the community of Asian Elephants in several countries between 1997 and 2004 is compared in the bar chart. Overall, except the Cambodia, others nation was decline the proportion of Elephants in 2004. Also, India was by far the highest number of all countries.

India far dominated the proportion of populations both of the years at 9,800 (1997) and 7,500 (2004). This was followed by Myanmar, 5,200 in the early of year and 4,800 in the last of year. In addition, the large gap was seen in the level of India by 2,300 when it came to 2004. Unsurprisingly, Laos still stayed the same of proportion by 1,200 either in the former year or in the latter one.

Turning to the another diverge proportion, Cambodia experienced an incline of number by 100 when it moved to the end of year. Other level of countries performs only a small-scale proportion.



  • elephants.JPG
andika08   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / THE MOST MOTIVATION PEOPLE TO WORK IS MONEY [3]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections for you

... based on their enjoyment around the office so that they can work in ...

Besides, it feels enjoyable for them when doing something in the workplace and . It is increasing a number of employee ...

... as a teacher since feel happiness met students give me a lot ofmany experience and ...

It is true that passion has the most important role to enhance skills especially in creativity.

..., it makes partnershipsrelationship to relatives so that ...

Consequently, people enjoys the job when work in there even do not look interesting for the amount of ...
... that comfortable conditions is more important than money.

Thanks
andika08   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Reasons of working in the same place: opportunity of being leader and comfortable working atmosphere [2]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections for you

... the leader position will be only offered for old and expert employees that have many experiences during their work.

... give many chances to lead itsin the workplace.

... 68% of employees stayed to learn how to be good leaderfind more experiences to prepare their next (...) in that company.whileWhile 32% of workers stayed (you can change to another word) because ...

... director position make people to appear their motivates employers to keep doing ...

... because of the comfortable working experienceworkplace.

... 25% they need to earn a lot ofmuch money for ...

Thanks
andika08   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summarize article : Ebola rapidly evolves to be more transmissible and deadlier [5]

Ebola has been destroy people life. Recently, virologists have found that it easier to suffer more readily among humans and in the time goes on, experiences a deadlier illness. The West African epidemic that started in 2014 was ended by quiet isolation measures.

A latest news, both Luban's team and a separate one led by Jonathan Ball at the University of Nottingham, UK, five the information regarding the A82V get into the Ebola virus to attack human and other primate cells up to four times more dangerous than the old virus.

The team concern to explore that several subsequent mutations did not many on their own, but rose infectivity still further when they accompanied A82V. It suggesting that the virus was under evolutionary tension to make humans more readily fit.

Many scientist predict the best way is that the A82V mutation disappeared when the epidemic ended without it lingers in the eyes or testes of some people It could be happening allow its talent for invading people's body. While, A82V appears early in the epidemic, which the aim for either this mutation or one with same impacts will rise in the after this.
andika08   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Break a bad habit just like to pay attention on something. [3]

TED Summary : A simple way to break a bad habit | Judson Brewer

Break a bad habit just like to try an attention on something. First, Evolution learning process currently know by scientist and basic nervous system have been founded, it consist of positif and negative enforcement. For example taste of some food that make you want to eat more. Brain have to send signal to body such as remember what you eating and where you find it. This related to the memory to desire something that you really like. There are several cause such as ways, trigger, behaviour and reward. Also, eat something that make you feeling good and feel better like chocolate, same process but different trigger. Brain is always try to push us to eat what we want to. This effects makes not good for our body. Another examples from natural brain proses, smoking bad for people who addictive on it. They being curious is the main aim for people to test it as they know the taste is not good but they think it make them feel comfortable.One the solution is change our behaviour by our habit. Always remember that the bad activity can make our body to suffer some disease. It can be done by concern with your body every days.
andika08   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / INUNDATION of land in the coastal area and solutions for issues related to the global warming [2]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections for you

... one of the effects offrom global warming.

This happens if sea levels experiences increase and the ...

... failure would come,and reducing the amount ...

... 500 of inhabitants in northNorth Jakarta have been ...

... of water which enters tothrough the land.

Although this breakthrough requires needs huge cost, it is effective way for the long-term purpose.

Thanks
andika08   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / An upward trend of students in the Third level Education, females scholars were by far most numerous [3]

The line graph illustrates about the number of alumni in the Third level Education of Canada over the 15 years period. Overall, the both of figures showed an upward trend and females student was by far most dominant in the total of people.

Initially, by 1992, the widened gap had been seen between both graph. The number of gender alumni experienced slightly increase at 70,000 and 98,000 respectively. In addition the number of people graduated in the 1995 for two figures to 75,000 of men and 150,000 of women. While the changing trend in 1998 experienced slightly drop at 72,000 and 100,000 with two figures.

Between 1998 until 2006, the number of college graduated experienced sharply rise by two gender. In this case, the number had significantly changed by almost 48,000 of men and 25,000 of women. Therefore, the both gap was more widened in the end of the year. Eventually, by 2007 of female reached a peak at around 150,000 in the end of year.



  • graduate.JPG
andika08   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1 : The Proportion of Elderly People Population in Three Countries [3]

A breakdown of the information about community of aging people in a 100-year period in several countries is illustrated in the line chart. Overall, all of figures showed an upward trend. Although, Japan people had the lowest number over 90-year but, in the end of period, they were by far most dominant in the total of population.

Initially, by early year, the widened gap have been seen between USA and Japan graph. After twenty years, the proportion of USA and Sweden experienced significantly increase at 7% and 9% respectively while the slightly decreased in Japan at the same year at 3%. In addition, by 1990, Sweden surprisingly overtook the place from USA at 15%.

Turning to the last fifty years, in 1990, Japan got the first position from others countries with sharply rose at 27% and succesfully reached a peak in the end of year. Nevertheless, both of USA and Sweden experienced significantly increase 25% and 23% respectively.



  • population.jpg
andika08   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1 : The Number of Visitors on Two New Music Website [2]

A breakdown of the information about recent music in the websites in 15 days, started in the early day is compared in the line chart. Overall, the both of figures show an upward trend. In any case, pop parade music is by far most popular in websites.

Initially, by first day the widen gap has been seen between both graph. After days three, the proportion of Pop Parade is experience significantly decrease until day five at 60,000 while the fluctuation in level of Music choice at the same day by 20,000. In addition, by day seven, the lowest number of level of Pop Parade is appeared to be true. Nevertheles, the music choice have slightly different number by 10,000.

Turning to the last eight days, in day nine until eleven the level of Pop Parade experiences a sharp rise while the proportion of Music Choice has different pattern. In day twelve, the level of Music choice surprisingly overtakes the place at 120,000. It makes the level of Pop Parade significant drop to 80,000. In other case, in days fourteen, the level of Pop Parade takes back again the first position at 160,000 and succesfully reaches a peak in the end of days. Also, level of music choice experiences a sharp decrease at 70,000.



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