Writing Feedback / Writing Task I about the relationship between worker with their supervisor and partners. [3]

A breakdown of the information about examination outcome of people opinion in 2005 and 2009 about employee relationships with their supervisors and partners are shown in the pie charts and measured in percent. Overall, very good relationship with their supervisors and partners is the highest percentage of relationship while poor relationships between occupants and supervisors in 2005 as equal as the percentage of relationships in 2009.

The percentage of very good relations between occupants and supervisor had an increase slightly from 61 percent in 2005 to almost seven-ten after four years and the percentage of no answer disappeared in 2009 from a small number in 2005. Moreover, in 2005 and 2009, the percentage of poor relations remained constant in 2 percent.

In the other hand, there was the percentage of poor relationship with co-workers in 1 percent in 2005 while in 2009 they disappeared. The percentage of relationship represents very good between workers and his partners in 2005 and 2009 had above 63 percent while poor relationship is the lowest percentage of relationships with partners.

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Writing Feedback / The appearance of people as one of the essential indications of what characteristics they possess [3]

Some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like. Others, however, say that people should not be judged by the clothes they wear. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, certain people say that appearance of people is one of the essential indication f what severe characteristics they are like while the others argue people have not to judge by their appearance. Personally, there are several factors affect people appearance such as age, culture and job.

In several conditions, people should be obey of their company which make rules about the employees appearance because they are work in different work environment and they should adapt to their new work atmosphere. Their appearance will affect people impression for them and it have an important role in the process of work. For illustrate, someone work as a bank officer should be keep their appearance such as tidy and clean because they have to meet the bank costumers and occupants serve them with good attitude. Both of tidy and clean appearance and good attitude will make the costumers are comfortable.

In the other side, some people view their appearance as parts of their passion while the others show their appearance as an identity of their age and their culture. They argue that appearance is not representing their real look like because they have several specific reasons such as their lifestyle, age or job. For illustrate, a field engineer should be work in land mining, they use wear-pack and safety helmet and sometimes they inspect systems in the mining make them dirty and stingy while others meet them and they do not know about the job, they will assess the occupant as a person unaware about cleanliness and appearance.

All in all, age, culture and job are the several factors affect to people appearance and I tend to a statement that do not judge the book by its cover because every person has their personal background about their appearance decision.

Writing Feedback / Summary article (v) face recognition tech used to 'identify' criminals [3]

Nowadays, certain researchers discover a device in which can recognize age, gender and mood while several experts argue that it raises ethical questions in the society because the device can claim someone as a criminal. Xiaolin Wu, a researcher for McMaster University in Hamilton, disproves the concept that there are a link between face and criminality because he unsure about the methodology about the system although the makers say that the device can achieve an accuracy up to 90 percent. Moreover, Mike Cook, an expert from Falmouth University, says the systems are more subjective about face identification while the others researcher claims that he has already develop an algorithm can distinguish differences between people face in East Asia region with an accuracy reach 75 percent.

Writing Feedback / Summary TED (v) Hans Rosling Debunking third-world myths with the best stats you've ever seen [2]

Hans Rosling, as a TED speaker and a lecturer for undergraduate students in Sweden, focus on global development in the world. In the beginning, he illustrates about movement of human population in the world since 1962 which horizontal axis represents as fertility rate (birth per woman), vertical axis represents life expectancy at birth and the circle represents as every country in the world. The result is industrial countries represent small family and long life, while developing countries had big family and relatively short life. As the time goes on, almost all of the countries in the world was moved to left corner in top side. It means that families in the world now have to be represented as family which small family and high long life. In the second graph, he shows that strong connection between child survival rates with DGDP per capita. For instance, Arab States consist of many countries with the same religion, same climate, same culture but huge differences in GDP per capita. Even though they are neighbour, Yemen is the lowest GDP per capita in Arab states and United Arab Emirates had the highest GDP per capita.

Writing Feedback / Some people have the experience that when they speak, people do not listen to them [3]

TED (v) Julian Treasure How to speak so that people want to listen

The human voice is the instrument all of people play and express a vast amount of our feeling. Yet, some people have the experience that when they speak, people do not listen to them. There are several reasons why people disobey the speaker. Julian Treasure, as a TED speaker, gives a number of habits that we need to move away form. He called seven deadly sins of speaking. First, speaking ill of somebody who is not present, in other word we called gossip. The others are judging, negativity which makes someone hard to listen and understand, complaining about everything happen around of someone, making something seem worse than it real well-known as exaggeration and the last is the confusion of facts with opinions or we called as dogmatism. In addition, he also added several suggestions to make our speaking powerfully. He called HAIL, which every single alphabet represent a essential word. First, H represents honesty, being true in what we say being straight and clear. Secondly is authenticity, the meaning is just being our self. Integrity as the third, it means being our word. Finally, L for represents love, it means that wishing people well.

Writing Feedback / Polar species spotted in the deep seas of the Mediterranean [3]

Recently, a marine team who observe ocean life in Oceana was discover of an Atlantic lantern Shark which has long 20 centimetres and glowing bright blue along its spine and belly during their expedition and they are very surprising because they are discover an ocean environment is almost completely unexplored and invent several species which very exciting. To explore more information about where the species come from and why they living in there, the discoverers take several species as a sample and collection. One of marine experts says that no competitor in poor condition of biodiversity in the deep sea causes the rare fish still living in there while the other argue that the rare animals come as a new comer and they force local animals. That's why this team conducts a research to identify problems and find a proper solution to tackle the problem.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task I about the factors which influence the happiness of spouses [3]

A breakdown of information about the outcome of studies in level of happiness from marital status and unmarried people and the presence of juveniles affect to the happiness rate of spouses are shown in the bar charts. All in all, people in marital status have percentage are twice more the proportion of people unmarried while the presence of juveniles is unaffected to the rate of pleasure feeling for marriage spouse.

All of age range which people in marital status have the percentage more than four-ten while the happiness percentage of unmarried people below of a third and only range 65 and over has percentage at 34 percent.

However, the presence of juveniles is not affected to the happiness rate of spouse which their happiness rate more than 40 percent in all range of children although spouse with juveniles under 18 is the highest percentage of happiness rate rather than the other and they reach in almost a half.

Writing Feedback / 'workers should be use tidy dress' - essay about dress smartly and performance [2]

Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value the quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, certain companies argue that the workers should be use tidy dress while the other enterprise say that achievement of work target is the most important aspect for their employees because that affects to the development company. Personally, I have a tendency to say that quality of work is more important than employee's appearance although several sectors argue tidy and smart appearances are important elements.

Tidy and smartly dress have an predominant role for several enterprise such as banking and office occupations because they are work in the area which their subject society see perfect appearance as an obligation before they serve the consumers. Taking an banking officer as an example, when they are during their occupations, they have to look likes always tidy with their company uniform before they serve the customers and their appearance support them to represent as a humble and good worker. While trend only effective for occupants in public area services which employees focus on physical appearance, there are several jobs do not need good appearance and the employees more focus on their performance.

Engineer is one of the occupations which the worker focus on their duties, but most of them no pay attention about their physical appearance and they keen to finish their project before the deadline. Taking my personal experience as an example, since I accepted in oil and gas companies, the enterprise, they send me in the offshore platform which I work in dirty environment and I have to operate several devices. I should be focus on my duties and I have to solve difficult trouble in the system after I arrived in the platform.

All in all, the occupants is one of the essential aspects for workers which they interaction with the public area while achievement and performance more important is needed in industrial worker such field engineer.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task I about wind turbine generated electricity [3]

(NB:I am sorry i cannot insert the picture because the image in my book)

Turbine for generating electricity from wind and the positions where it can be placed is shown in the diagram. Overall, the wind turbines is one of the device to produce electricity using renewable resources and its installation causes trouble related to the power is produced by wind turbine and the location.

Turbines consist of blades from fiberglass or timber, wind sensor to measure the speed and the direction of the wind, generator and steel tower. The process start when wind passed the blades and it makes the blades rotate. As a result, inner porous which connected with the blades is rotated by propeller and it makes the generator produce electricity. Furthermore, to get optimum result from wind turbines, wind sensor should be controlled by computer and the angle and direction of the blades are controlled by the computer.

However, the electricity is produced by wind turbine will generate more electricity if the position of the turbine in the hill rather than the turbine placed in the coastline. Moreover, when the wind turbines located in the higher position will produce more electricity rather than small domestic wind turbine nearby house.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task II about someone take a job in a gap time [5]

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university.
Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Certain advice represent that an occupation should be taken for a few years in the gap between graduated from secondary school and higher education institution. Personally, I believe several benefits such as new experience of work and earn money by them self and the negative impacts such as too focus on job and less general knowledge are exist related to this issues.

Enrich work experience and financial matters are the merits of the issue. For wealthy young people, they will easy to enroll in their favorite campus and they can continue their study in there while the others get an obstacle to reach more higher education and prefer to prepare by work. Steward and shopkeeper are the common jobs which they can get apply based on their abilities. From those occupations, adolescent can get more work experience such as how to manage financial, income and outcome of the shop. Furthermore, they get monthly or weekly salary which they get from their effort. For illustrate, adolescent work as a shopkeeper know how to serve the consumers which wide range of characteristics, so he can know how to handle what consumer needs.

However, work in the gap time between school and university also have several demerits for adolescent such as spend their full time and energy to work and they are stagnant in less academic knowledge while some young people work and prepare to gain higher education at the same time. Adolescent too focus earning much revenue and they have a tendency forget about their initial purpose in which they study in university. Based on my personal experience, Ali, my friend, forget his initial aim to gain higher education because her passion to earning much income and he also try to develop his career. He satisfy with what he got from his occupation and he more close-minded because stagnant in his basic knowledge.

To sum up, although work at gap time between after graduated from secondary school and university has certain advantages, the negative impacts more give effect to the adolescent.

Writing Feedback / Benjamin Todd advises to do valuable things in our life. [2]

TED (v) Benjamin Todd To find work you love, don't follow your passion

Benjamin Todd, as the TED speaker, said that when he was graduated, he had a lot of interests. He started with mastering martial arts, becoming a philosopher, investing his money. It confused him when choosing his career. He argues that choosing a career is a complex problem. Therefore, he and some academic researchers from University of Oxford conducted a research to find the real career decision. The result of the research is common career advice in this era are wrong. He suggests us to identify our greatest interest. Secondly, we should find the job which matches with our interest. The important thing that should be noticed is that when we follow our passion, it will lead us to a bigger possibility to fail. Because our interest is changing overtime, it is not a rigid basis for deciding a career. He advises to do valuable things in our life. Furthermore, focusing on doing what is valuable leads us to the real passion and concrete meaning for goal. All in all, he suggests us to explore, get good at useful skills and apply our skill to solve the problem.

source:TED

Writing Feedback / Glamour celebrities or grey commoners on television, radio or newspapers? [3]

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Nowadays, the daily lives and relationships of famous people such as artists and sport man are become news focus by the media while they should more spreading news of commoner life. Personally, I tremendously agree with the statement. There are several reasons to encourage my point of view.

To begin, certain celebrities have glamour life bad lifestyle. They also become the centre of public attention without exception young generation which really easy is affected by bad habits of celebrities. They are unaware about the consequence if they follow celebrity habits as a role model. For illustrate, many cases about Indonesian artists which involve in drug case and live in jail as the consequence. For the result, the career of the artists will be disappear and their life worse in advance. Furthermore, hedonism lifestyle of celebrities causes adults more consumptive only for following the style of their idol and celebrities also causes adverse effects of their relationships which media used as a gossip and an entertainment for public.

However, the media should be airing news about unknown people which have achievement and beneficial for their society. Many commoners give advantages for their environment such as a doctor which gives healthcare free for poor people and a farmer discover new method for irrigation which the media no pay attention to their dedication. For example, an aircraft pilot in Nusa Tenggara Barat, Indonesia, which invest all of his salary in orphan house and he take care more than 100 juveniles and toddlers life. Not only he nurtures the children, but also to teach and he pays full attention to them. As a result, in 2016 he got an award from international social organization because of his amazing dedication for society.

Taking everything into consideration, reporting about common people lives should be become the centre of media attention rather than useless information about artist lives and relationships. In the other side, focus on common people lives gives widespread inspiration for society.

Writing Feedback / The scale of teachers recruitment in Canada over the years [4]

(sorry, i cannot insert image of the graph because in my book)

The educators who successfully accepted in enrollment with regular teaching occupations by graduation year in Ontario since 2011 to 2007 is shown in the line chart and is measured in percent. Overall, recruitment of French-language educator percentage has bigger than English-language teachers and although both of them start in near start point, French-language teachers reach a peak in 2007 while English-language educators bottomed in the same period.

In 2001, both of French-language educators and English-language educators stood at almost the same percentage in a majority. In the next year shows both of them sharply decreased in more than a half. Furthermore, French-language teacher percentage has increased trend since 2002 to 2005 while English-language percentage still decreased to four-ten in 2003. There was a gradual increase since 2003 to 2005 by a small number.

There was a slightly decreased French-language educator portion to approximately 68 percent while English-language educator percentage sharply decreased more than one-third. In the end of period, French-language teacher percentage reached a peak at more than 70 percent. On the contrary, English-language educators bottomed at approximately a quarter.

Writing Feedback / The Finland's will more focus on developing of an alternative energy, rather than the coal. [2]

Finland set to become first country to ban coal use for energy

Based on Peter Lund, a researcher from university of Aalto, say Finland will become the first country in the world which prohibits coal usage for energy to anticipate climate change issues and change to the renewable energy such wind power. The Finland's council will more focus on developing of alternative energy and the council poured more than 80 million euro to enhance the capacity. It means that power plants use coal will close which provide only 8 percent from total amount of energy in Finland. Not only Finland as a pioneer, another country such as UK, Austria and Netherlands also ban coal as a raw material for their power plant in 2023. Their hope with that plan can reduce emissions and global warming.

source: Newscientist

Writing Feedback / Summary TED (v) Jay Walker English mania [2]

Summary TED (v) Jay Walker English mania

Every aspect in the world has its own universal language. The world has an aspect as the universal language in each subject. For instance, Mathematic is the language of science subject, music is language of emotions subject and English becoming the language of problem solving. Nowadays, every person in the world has studied English as a second language. Two billion people around the world study English in this era. This phenomenon spread widely around the world. Not only in Latin America, but also another hemisphere such as China, India and South East Asia also affected. For instance, China has become one of the countries which teach its young generation for studying. China has regulation for their young generation to start study English since primary school, particularly third grade. Jay Walker, as the speaker of TED, called this phenomenon as English mania. Jay walker also predicted that China will become the largest English speaking country. He concluded that English represents a hope for better future, as it becomes the common language to solve global problem.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2 about very bad lifestyle in effect on well-being and obligations of different parties [3]

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.
To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, both education institutions and parents have responsibility to tackle several problems, especially the way of juvenile unhealthy life. All in all, although fathers, mothers and schools have the problem-solving for unhealthy life of children, but juvenile itself is the most important factor which affects to their life, especially unhealthy food consumption problems.

To begin, certain parents preparing some breakfast provision for their children in every morning, particularly the mother. She will cook several nutritious foods consist of vegetable, fruit and milk. Mothers will be careful to package their children's food to keep clean and she ensure that foods is healthy foods. For instance, when I was child, my mother always provided milk, bread and fruit for me before I went to the school. Her purpose was to prevent me from bought unhealthy food such junk food which can cause stomachache. That's why several parents have a tendency to protect their children by giving breakfast provision by their cooking.

In the other hand, schools also have the important role to tackle that problem. Education institutions should be selective to choose food sellers in their place and the sellers have to ensure that they will provide and sell healthy foods such as main course and desserts. Not only about the ingredients of food, but also schools should be manage the place which should be clean and hygiene. For illustrate, schools provide a clean and hygiene eatery to sell their products.

Even though, both of schools and parents do several actions to tackle the problems, the juvenile itself is the predominant factor to solve their unhealthy lifestyle. The children should be aware about what they are consuming and the consequence of their decision. For example, a child can buy junk food although their parents and schools not provide and prohibit them.

Taking everything into consideration, even though the education institutions and the parents are take an action to tackle that problem, juvenile itself is the predominant factor to choose their own decision.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task I about people living in the overseas [3]

A breakdown of information about several trouble are faced by people living in overseas is shown in the bar chart and is measured in percent. All in all, 3 types of people living in overseas have the same problems and both making friends and finding live place are almost have the same percentage in people over 55.

First of all, people aged 18-34 face making friends as a problem stood at almost a half. Moreover, people over 55 have percentage lower than people aged 18-34 and 35-54 at the same problem. In the other hand, people aged 35-54 difficult to find live place have the equal percentage with people aged 18-34 approximately almost four-ten.

Moreover, people aged 18-34 face learning local language problems stood at almost three-ten. Furthermore, older they are, the percentage of people face learning local language more increase. More than a half on people over 55 have a problem in learning the local language. Establish a friend relationship, finding live place and learning the local language are several problems are faced in all types of age.

Writing Feedback / TED Eric Giller demonstrates wireless electricity [2]

A century ago, Nikola Tesla discovered initial idea about wireless power which can transfer electric power wirelessly. He tried to build Tesla tower which can transfer electricity around the world. His purpose is it can be a solution for more than billions of dollars fund useless and many batteries usage in the future because batteries can causes many negative impacts for environment. Nowadays, theoretical physicists from MIT discover WiTricity. The concept of WiTricity as same as Tesla concept is transferring power or electricity over distance. The idea came from the professor when he waking up at night and heard that his wife's mobile phone was beeping because running out of the power source. The main concept of his idea is resonant energy transfer which usage a magnetic field as the medium to transfer the energy. It also has a wide range of applications in every human activity such as electric vehicle, industry and medical equipments.

Writing Feedback / Coconut crab's bone-crushing grip is 10 times stronger than ours [2]

Coconut crab from the Asia-Pacific region has more powerful claw rather than his species, Crustacean, which can lift up to 28 kilograms and open shell of coconut. Researchers from Okinawa Churashima Japan conduct research about the coconut crab, especially their claw strength to crush something. Based on experiment, Shin-Ichiro Oka found that animal has a crush force up to 3000 newtons and ten-fold grip strength of human hand. Furthermore, the usage of the claws is to crack hard shell such as coconut, nuts, and break the bone of another animal. Not only for those purpose, but also the claws function is to protect them from attackers.