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Posts by SarlindaDS_27
Name: Sarlinda Dian Sari
Joined: Oct 25, 2016
Last Post: Dec 2, 2016
Threads: 42
Posts: 51  
From: Indonesia
School: Sultan Agung Islamic University

Displayed posts: 93 / page 1 of 3
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SarlindaDS_27   
Dec 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / The sophisticated of technology can bring several effects to human life [2]

Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?


It is the argued that the sophisticated of technology can bring several effects to human life. I strongly agree with the positive side of the technology that able to make the people become more intensive in communication with their relatives. Thus, I tend to disagree with the statement that the technology can be the issue of the various cultures damage. So, this essay will first present how the technology can make the people become more solid in their relationships and why it not totally harmful to the difference customs which followed by a reasonable conclusion.

Firstly, we have proven that today we are living in the technological era. We can reject that fact because of this day we are using the technology as much as our necessary, mainly in communication way. For instance, we use the smartphone to complete our demands to interaction with other people as the social creatures. According to the Global Technology Research of Kyoto University in 2013 has illustrated that the mankind over the world today had increased in gadget usage by 69% higher than in the one past decade. It has proven that globally we have depended on the one way of a communication method which is based on the technology.

Secondly, the negative side of technology is only happening if the people also have the intention to do the severe actions by it. Despite that, I believe that the technology can unfold the tolerance of humankind in this world based on the people diversity in their beliefs or cultures. It may be true there some issues about the racism problem through the technology usage, but the other facts which had proven the positives side of technology have to be our considerations. Furthermore, at present based on technological usage, the people have more time and flexibility space to be more know other cultures in this world.

To sum up, the pros and cons of the technological implementation absolutely must present. However, the advice and the wise perspective of the technological usage depend on its users, we cannot make a general judgment based only on some negatives issue. (351 words)
SarlindaDS_27   
Dec 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / The list regarding the forms of travel which experienced the changes during five years in Britain [2]

Writing Task I--Modes of Travel in England

A breakdown of the list regarding the forms of travel which experienced the changes during five years in Britain is revealed in the tables. The data is presented by miles per person in each visible years. Overall, the changes of the British style in traveled during the years as majority saw an upward trend, exceptionally for the bicycle and local bus usage which have been a downward trend by users.

As can be seen, the car usage for traveling was the most popular transportation during the years rather than the other ways. Whereas, taxi and bicycle usage took over the first and the second alternatives respectively. However, the taxi saw a dramatic increase by three-fold higher than in 1985.

Some forms of transportations such as the bicycle, local bus and walking witnessed a marginal decline where the users of bike fell by ten people in 2000, while the number of pedestrians and the local bus saw a significant decrease by around 20 persons and about twofold lower than in the same year respectively. (176 words)



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SarlindaDS_27   
Dec 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / Some schools, plummeted in quantities of pupils [4]

Hello, @Fiza26, Let me give you some corrections :)

... the specialist, grammar[need comma] and voluntary-controlled ...

... schools only bellow one quarter =>one-quarter declined by half at =>[over, during, in] the same period.

Keep Writing and Good Luck :)
SarlindaDS_27   
Dec 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / The digital era has been changing our world. Technology make people close together [2]

Hello, Miss Anha :) Let me give some corrections :)

... technology such as [the] internet has connected ...

Since hand phone =>handphone and [the] internet have been ...
... latest technology has bring =>brought positive effect ...

To sum up, [the] digital era has been ...

Keep Writing :) Good Luck :)
SarlindaDS_27   
Dec 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / There are numerous bad issues that may turn out when deciding to date online [2]

Hello, Mr. Mardian Let me give you some Corrections :)

For instance, findyourlove is one of hundreds=> missing article before noun {the hundreds} dating online websites ...
... after using that site, he found [the] new girlfriend.

... while use electronic dating, =>unneccessary comma in complex sentence because they never ...
... that she already had [a] girlfriend when she was ...

... someone is the consequences to use this program.=> of using this program.

Keep Writing and Good Luck :)
SarlindaDS_27   
Dec 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / Article Summary : Topic : Technology- Space telescope duo will showcase the solar system in 3D [2]

Article Summary

Space telescope duo will showcase the solar system in 3D
By: Marcus Woo (October 31, 2016)


Along with the development of modern technology that increasingly sophisticated, it is not impossible for a scientist in the field of astronomy to create an observer incredible space tool . After all, had long since people are so curious about the landscape space. Therefore, scientists continue to try to create a solar telescope tool which capable of providing a space standpoint sharper, vivid and clear like being in space. According to latest news, the tool will be released in 2019 next to the name of James Webb Space Telescope (JWST), which will collaborate with the tool was first released that the Hubble Space Telescope, which has been operating for 26 years in space, through the combination of the sophistication of the two types of telescopes, then scientists or inventors are confident will be able to create a visualization of three-dimensional images which would be amazing. So, people would not curious anymore with the real picture of the nature of space. It will be able to give lessons and new knowledge to the public that the activity of the space that so fascinating to watch. Soon people will be really watching how natural the beauty of sky where the planet rotates each other in orbit, the comet was gliding with shiny tail and the atmospheric dust hovering over the planet Mars, all of it, of course, is fabulous.

newscientist
SarlindaDS_27   
Dec 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / The power plant is utilizing sea waves in the energy producing process [2]

Hello, Mr.Mardian :) Let me give you some corrections :)

... it is located on the coast line => coastline , ...
Afterwards , column is built on ...

... generate electricity is divided by =>into four procedures.
... turbine again which results[need preposition such as from or in ] same direction of [the] turbine.

Keep Writing :)
SarlindaDS_27   
Dec 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / Article Summary : AI Learn to Predict the Future by Watching 2 Million Videos [2]

Article Summary
AI Learn to Predict the Future by Watching 2 Million Videos


Today we are living in the era when the technology can produce a system that can intuition how an image will unfold and dream up a vision of the immediate future. This article can show us how the people creating the ones of the sophisticated invention for the well-being of the mankind in this world. AI (Artificial Intelligence) is the plan of the best idea that ever which this idea could be the background for creating the new tools or any robotic that has predictable thinking of human gestures. According to the ones of the team that created the new system, Carl Vondrick at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology argued that in the future we will see any robot which would set with the basic ability to predict the future. For example, if you're about to sit down, you don't want a robot to pull the chair out from underneath you. So the people can enjoy their lives as the king in their homes. However, this plan is not like a piece of cake term, moreover, to design the extension of this idea, the researchers need enormous times for preparing over 2 million videos that able to predict exactly what will happen or the alternatives scenes of the future. As the close of this article, Vondrick was emphasized his idea that as the human, we able to develop systems which eventually hallucinate these reasonable, plausible futures of images and videos.

Resource :
newscientist
SarlindaDS_27   
Dec 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Online Dating Perspectives; there's a risk to be the criminal victim of this virtual technology [2]

With the latest technological advancements, dating is now possible online. Would you recommend online dating to your single friends? What are the advantages and disadvantages online dating? Site some examples to support your answer.

The Pros and Cons of Online Dating Media



The fantastic development of technology in this day able to make the people easier to find their couples by virtual media. Personally, I tend to disagree with that statement and I will think two times before giving a suggestion to my single friend for getting their true love by the online dating site. This essay will expose the plus and minus of the dating online implementation in our real life.

To begin with, there some facts that today, some people fully agree that the online dating can help them to be more confidence for taking the personal relationship rather than in their real situations. Furthermore, according to the research from the APA (American Psychologist Association) had presented that mostly of introvert people are following the dating virtual sites for finding their loves which about 63 % of them believe that they don't have any more difficult the anxiety for getting rejection after show off their feelings to each other. Moreover, a still reference to that research, around 32 % of the dating online couples had succeeded to maintenance their relationship until marriage stage.

On the other hand, several drawbacks of the virtual dating must be there. For instance, there is one real case that had published on mass media in one year ago regarding the fraud that based on the online dating relationship where the woman had been lost her two hundred million dollars because of her boyfriend who her known from the online dating site. Thus, it may be more potential happened to whoever that deciding to take the relationship by virtual media.

To sum up, the online dating media certainly have pros and cons perspectives which it can depend on ourselves considerations, but the essential things that we have to think that the risk to be the criminal victim of the virtual technology higher than in our real life. (307 words)
SarlindaDS_27   
Dec 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / A breakdown of the Lakeside modification area during one decade started from 2000 [2]

A breakdown of the Lakeside modification area during one decade started from 2000 to 2009 is illustrated in the maps. Overall, there are several features which experienced the change such as the appearance of the city, the form of entertain media, and the industrial district. While some features such as the industrial district become increase in 2009 but it reverses to the size of the lake.

It can be seen that in 2000 era, there are the huge numbers of the residential regions that most of them spread around in the North West and the South area of the town, while in 2009 the located of the people residences only focused on the North West area of the city. Mostly, the city spaces have been built some offices, university, and several spots for entertaining the people which included modify of art center to the cinema also the building of the shopping area in 2009.

Moreover, in 2009 there are some features saw more increase rather than in 2000. For instance, the industrial districts have been the most building by three-fold more than in 2000. While, the lake size is witnessed more decline in 2009 because of the new buildings on around of it. However, the present of car parking in 2009 have been replaced the derelict warehouse in 2000 were located in the North West of the city.



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SarlindaDS_27   
Dec 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / The analysis of a system that produces the electricity by wave-generator [2]

The diagrams show a structure that is used to generate electricity from wave power.

A breakdown of the system regarding the electricity production by wave-generator is illustrated in the diagrams. As we can in the diagram, the equipment consists of the turbine, chamber, column and the cliff are needed as the main media of this process, while the wave as an essential component to produce the electricity based on two mechanical systems included the entering and the retreating movements.

Firstly (Picture A), the electricity is produced by the rotation of the turbine. In this process, the wave which entering the chamber will be directed to the mouth of the column through the inclined surface of the cliff. Thus, the wave can make the turbine keep spinning in electricity creation.

Secondly (Picture B), describes that the turbine with the same spin also can control the surf for retreating the chamber as the reverse force of water circulation which is aimed for obtaining the movements of the wave. Moreover, this system also purpose for keeping the stabilization of the electricity power product. (167 words)



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SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Personality of Candidate Requirement in Recruitment of the Company [2]

Some people think when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others considered they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions.

The Job Recruitment Process



It is the opinion of some views that the recruitment process is aimed for selecting the person who has the certain personality such as an innovative thinking and easy to work individually or the individual who can competent to finish his/her works by work team and can obey the rules of his/her jobs. This essay will first discuss why the company needs to hire an innovative and independent candidate compared with the candidate who can give the best performance through teamwork and follow the instructions.

Firstly, there are several reasons why the company needs the people who have an innovative thinking. As we know, each company often be demand for continuing their business which proper to follow the change of the latest era and sometimes they must understand the movement of the market. Thus, the corporate extremely need the employees who can produce the new idea that able to tackle their issues. Usually, the other criteria of an innovative person are they able to work as an individual or unnecessary to obtain fully command of their supervisors.

Secondly, several conditions in company sometimes need the employee who able to create the good relationship in work or it means that they can manage their works by including all of the employees in the company to participate in a certain assignment. Generally, the people who have this typical would be easier to handle the complex task in a shorter time because they will be dominance in persuading their co-workers.

According to my perspective, actually, I think both of criteria have the same importance to the company. Hence, the company should hire the people who not only can be as the creator of the new idea but also need for hiring the people who have the ability to manage the team effectively. However, the massive company occasionally is built by the employee who can handle the tricky issue with their novelty idea and accompanied by the solid teamwork inside them.

All in all, personally I agree and support that both of the requirement which had mentioned above really important for the stabilization of the company. (349 words)
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / To have a successful life we need to give our maximum capability and effort in work [2]

Some people think that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. Some, on the other hand, think that there are other factors behind a successful life. Give your opinion.

It is the opinion of some people that believe in successful life we need to give our maximum capability in work and is followed by our extra effort to raise it, whereas there are several keys to obtain the successful life without only do them. This essay will include some reasons why we need optimum effort and work to get our dreams and when we don't just need them to reach our prosperity in life.

To begin with, I personally agree that some essential factors such as willingness to success which must be accompanied by hard work and determination are worthy for our path live. As we can see, there are enormous people who have proven that the background of their successfulness reveals that they all need to give their best in works and their endless efforts. Usually, people who have the limit income or live in poverty condition occasionally have assiduous efforts for changing their lives. The real examples of people who can success by their determinations even without money or power since their born are likely Steve Jobs and Jacob Arabo who today already being fantastic popular because of the prosperity of their businesses.

However, it may be true if somebody else thinks that we need other keys for getting successfulness or we cannot just depend on our extra powers in work and the extremely efforts because of huge things of possibilities that we can find in our real life. Several factors such as the luck and the opportunity can be the part of people successes. For instance, in several countries mainly in the development countries, still there an enormous number of unemployment who jobless and cannot reach the best live standard as the general people. It is not happening because they are lazy or less effort, but some of them already release their maximum energy for surviving their lives by hard working as labors only just for continuing their lives and fulfilling the demand of life. Nevertheless, there is no job opened or limited of job fields make them encouraged for hard working in an uncertain condition in every day.

Based on my view, there are some real facts which describe that the lucky people can obtain their successes faster than the hard-worker people, and also even the people have already done the best of their capabilities but if there is the opportunity, sometimes their efforts will be useless at the time.

All in all, the willingness for hard work and extremely efforts are needed to back up our dream to obtain the successfulness, but we must be realistic that the key factors of prosperity sometimes are followed by the luck and the exact opportunity for getting it. (450 words)
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / The ability of children to comprehension of a foreign language is much better at the primary school [4]

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is believed that to start the ability of children in comprehension of a foreign language better during at the primary school rather than at secondary school. This essay will discuss the advantages of the case where the children would be better take the foreign language subject since in the early education stage, and then will discuss why the advantages outweigh the drawbacks.

Today, additional subject in the academic curriculum such as a foreign language competency had been urgent for children as the student in their schools. So, it should be preparation since in the early of academic stages. The several reasons as the background of this decision included the self-ready condition of the child and the optimum of brain capability in earlier aged. For instance, according to the research of Children Developmental Psychology in 2013 had revealed that the range aged from 3 to 11 years old is the best moment for increasing the language comprehension skill of the child because in this stage, the child brain still easier to code anything of language pattern into long term memory which is located in right side of the brain. This study resulted that more than 22 % of the children who studying a foreign language in primary school have been more potential became the expert of the language in 18 years old rather than another child who don't study since in the basic schools.

However. Several facts may be there in the real life where occasionally the child are not ready enough for learning a strange language in their early age. Several children may be difficult for following the language which not their mother language. Moreover, several schools sometimes not too strict with their curriculum of foreign language competency. Thus, some students become aware of their purpose to study a foreign language when they had already sat on the higher degree. In fact, this condition had been more difficult for them to be more adaptable and memorable the new vocabulary of the foreign tongue.

All in all, it should be better if the curriculum of a foreign language had been available since in the primary school for improving the child comprehension since earlier. (360 words)
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Kids should begin learning a foreign language from the first stages of education [4]

Hello, @Wilyaftika23 Let me give you some corrections :)

Some experts are often claim that ...
This essay will first discuss about ability of people ...
... to study about otheranother language in primary school ...

... people can find [the] weakness to recall ...
..., people have [the] ability to store a new ...

... guide their children to learn otheranotherlanguage.
... time to memorize and practice about new vocabulary ...
According to[the]research of (...) in [the] UK in 2009, ...

... to save lots of new vocabulary => vocabulariesand they have much ...
... to improve quickly about [the] new language.

Keep Writing :)
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Perspective of Homeschooling and General School for Children Education [2]

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, several people argue that homeschooling is the best way for teaching the children and observe their improvement in studying, while other people believe that the best method for children's education is in the general schools. This essay will discuss the perspectives based on those both methods with accompanied by a reasonable conclusion.

To begin with, the several statements which reveal that homeschooling is more advantage based on its methods which exclusive and obviously private for discovering the children competency. For example, homeschooling as well known from its private teaching methods where occasionally on teacher only handling one child for certain time duration each day. Hence, there is more opportunity for the teacher to explore the best quality of the child in academic and also can give the child the best method in teaching which suitable for the learning style of the child. Additionally, according to the research of Educational Psychology Association in Britain has presented that the children who got the education by home schools became easier found their talents or more understandable with their self-competency in the study rather than the child from general schools by 7 % gap of both methods. Thus, sometimes the parents more attractive to select the home schools as the best method for the education of their children.

On the other hand, some people believe that general school is more benefit because in there the children are not only exercised for exploring their knowledge but also be combined by several methods for developing the social skills of the children. However, in the children developmental stages, the ability of social interaction in child-self is the ones of the best and the important matter of creating the optimal of Emotional Quotient (EQ). In addition, a reference from the statement of Developmental and Educational Children Association in the USA has depicted that the children who got the education by general schools method or gain the opportunity to interaction with another child in the class will be more adaptable and sociable rather than the child who not gain this experience. Therefore, the children who learning in general schools have higher EQ score by 26 % than the child which gain the private class.

To sum up, both of educational methods have each benefit for giving the best solution to increase the development of children academic skills. But the consideration of the parents in preparation the educational for their children also be needed for this decision. (404 words)
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / An info about people shares of money, spent for five different necessities in four various countries [2]

Hello, miss @septiadara29 :) I just found little bit faults in your this written :) Overall I think your summary was included the fairly content and understandable which extremely good and I don't have any comment for them :)

... at below 15%, they had [been] higher proportion in ...

... and clothing were => WAS only below one in ten ...
... three times as many as [THE] United Kingdom as the tiniest ...

Keep Writing and Good Luck :)
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task I IELTS : Average daily figures for Channel One News over a 12-month period [2]

A comparison of the average of regularly day programs for Channel One News during one year period is depicted in the line graph. The ratings of channel figures are illustrated based on the number of viewers per day in millions. Overall, almost of the figures fluctuated and only the figures for the 1pm which remained fairly stable.

The figure for the 6pm News began the year at 4.8 million. It fluctuated, but the general trend was downwards until ended to just over 3 million. The figure for the 9:30pm experienced a gradual rise from 3.2 million in January to a peak of 3.8 million in May. However, this month saw the introduction of the 11pm News, and the figure for the 9:30 News plummeted, hitting a low-point of 1.1 million in August.

In the same period, the figure for the 11pm rocketed from 0.2 to 4.1 million. At this point, the trend reversed. From August onwards, the figure for the 9:30 grew steadily. Meanwhile, the figure for the 11pm News declined sharply, and in December fell under the 1 million.

(199 words)



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SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / The number of foreign visitors who come to the five countries between 1995 and 2010 [4]

The graph below gives information about international tourist arrivals in five countries.

A breakdown of the number of foreign visitors who come to the five countries between 1995 and 2010 is revealed in the line graph. The total data of visitors are presented in millions. Overall, the United State has been the highest visitors which was a steady rise from 1995 to 2010 if is compared with other.

As can been in the line graph, the USA and France saw an upward trend which experienced a marginal rise and France witnessed a sharp incline during the years. Among one-half decade, in the USA started at just over 70 million visitors in 1995 and climbed to about 80 million in 2010, while France reached a peak of 80 million in 2010 after soared by 30 million between 1995 and 2010, and then experienced a significant increase to that point.

Whereas, Malaysia saw a slight increase during one first decade and then rose dramatically to peak at just under 50 million of visitors. While, both countries included Egypt and Brazil had started in the number of visitors that close behind and saw a slight incline with small gap in the end point, where Egypt has been higher than Brazil by about one in twenty of foreign visitors. (204 words)



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SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / The comparison of electricity productions by original sources in New Zealand and Germany [2]

Writing Task I
The pie charts below show electricity generation by source in New Zealand and Germany in 1980 and 2010.


The comparison of electricity productions by original sources in New Zealand and Germany during three-decade periods is revealed in the pie charts. Overall, both countries experienced a fluctuation trend in electricity produces between 1980 and 2010. Then, as can be seen, that New Zealand was the major of coal production during the years which became the highest rather than the production of Germany in 2010, but contrary the nuclear was totally produced in Germany during the periods.

As can be seen that, there are four main productions of electricity sources are provided in New Zealand, where in Germany has five electricity sources. According to the results, in New Zealand there are two main resources included hydro and coal which rose gradually during the years by approximately three times for coal and by 16% for hydro sources between 1980 and 2010. While, in Germany, both of those production sources saw a steady trend for coal and fell sharply in hydro sources by one in twenty.

On the other hand, both of natural gas and petroleum original sources in two countries saw a fluctuation trends. In New Zealand, the production of natural gas experienced a dramatic fall by 28%, and the petroleum productions also dropped in 2010. These conditions were similar to Germany, where both of petroleum and natural gas also witnessed a significant drop in 2010. (226 words)



  • Incomplete Picture

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SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task II IELTS : Some people perspectives about Libraries and Internet to obtain information [3]

Some people think it is a waste of money to establish libraries since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information, do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that spend some expenditures to build libraries is only the useless action when today we can use the internet to gain the latest information. This essay disagrees with the statements and believes that libraries as the ones of the substantial media to find the information. This essay will first discuss why the internet is not the best solution for wide to get the information and then talk about how the libraries are more benefit for general people, followed by the reasonable conclusion.

The Internet is not affordable for the general people, mainly who are lives in the villages or for them who have the limited income. However, the fulfillment of the internet necessity need some money and other support facilities such as the appropriate access for it. According to Telecommunication Statistic of Indonesia had revealed that the percentage of people who have been using the internet rise to 69% but it not covered all of the areas in Indonesia. Only the people who lived in several big cities and around it who used it as majority. Additionally, the consumer of internet also dominant for certain people who have the wealth income.

However, the presenting of the libraries will be more suitable for general people which covered the countryside. As the example for showing that libraries are more achievable and affordable for general people especially for the minority people who have the low income. In 2015, several new had published that the libraries today are more flexible than before. Some volunteers in Yogyakarta have been building the new libraries by used the minibus which can be operated until to the remote areas of countryside. By this action, more than thousands of the children and adults who still illiterate and less facility in education can be more helped.

To sum up, it may be true that several benefits of the internet can help people for gain widely information as much as possible, but there are some people who still cannot get it easily. So, there is no other best alternative in spread the information by reading books in libraries.

(349 words).
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / There are factors which can increase the potential of water deficit, like eg. environment condition [2]

What are the causes of water scarcity? What are your solutions?

In this world, water is ones of the essential source which obviously important to all organisms mainly for people lives. However, today, the declined of water becomes the serious problem for people. There are factors which can increase the potential of water deficit that included the fact of environment condition which is dry and the less awareness of people to solve their problem in the water supply. Several active steps to fix the problems can be consist of the people initiative in to create the new sources of water by technology and try to use the water more efficiently.

However, Indonesian is the ones of the tropical country which almost of its areas are drier. For example, according to the report of Bandung Technology Institute in 2014 had declared that Java Island in Indonesia has higher potential in water decline because of the geology of the soil and it geographic did not support for enormous water supplies. As the impact, several areas in Java experienced a water drying since in 1955 until right now. Furthermore, several people acts which are ignoring with their environment also become the main cause of water problem. As the example, based on the Association of Sociology Research in Diponegoro University in 2013 had presented that people usually use water intensively rather than use water appropriately with their necessities. There are more than thousands of household in Semarang city which use the water more than 15,000 m3 in one month.

Some solutions such as use the modern technology in producing water are very useful for directly preventive these problems. According to Kyoto University in Japan had been presenting their new invention for water scarcity in Hiroshima in 1997, which can filter the rainwater into the pure water that can direct to consume. This equipment had succeeded the Japan people to solve their water problems for many years until at present.

In conclusion, the problem of water scarcity actually can solve by some efforts in using technology which sufficiently to produce the necessity of water in certain typical of the country. (344 words)
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / The amount of viewers watching "one news" channel between January and December [2]

Hello miss Willy, Let me give you few of my suggestions in your essay ^_^

... there were four different times => time of people watching => watched "one news".
... the average of watchers => better if you use 'viewers'watching => watched at 1 pm lower than others and it was stable ...
Secondly, people watching at 9.30 pm increased steeply to (...) and people watching at 6 pm fluctuated to under four millions. Differently, watchers at 11 pm would started in May. =>I think you must to more consistent in past tense usage

Keep Writing :)
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Bar Chart 3 : Imprisonment statistics in Five big Countries in the Twentieth Century [3]

Hello @mem77 I just wanna focus on your grammatical and let me give you some corrections about it :)

..., Great Britain and the United States experienced an upward trend during [the] period

..., Great Britain was appeared a significant ...
... New Zealand and [the] United States had the same proportion in =>of the number of prisoners at 100,000.

... that in 1960-1980, a number=> incorrect article=> the number of offenders in ...
... other states were appeared a fluctuated rate...

Keep writing :) Good Luck ^_^
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / People are more likely to spend their leisure time online rather than among local communities [3]

Hello, @SYDA, I just want to give you few corrections of your grammatical usage in this essay :)
Hope it will help you better :)

... I prefer to (...) because=>"you should give the preposition "of" it strength our relationship bond.

[The] Social interface has ...
... focus on our social => gatherings such as ...

... likely to use the web sites =>websites such as Facebook, Twitter these day=>this day. This tendency has [a] certain benefit, but ...
... that may creates =>create [modals + V1] a gap among ...
[The] Older member of (...) to impart values, believe =>belief and norms to others member, who are more busy => busier with online life.

Keep Writing and Good Luck :)
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Nowadays, many places in the world have difficulty to find water [3]

Hello Mey, Let me give you some corrections :)

... common problem which happen[subject verb is disagreement=> common problems which happen in this era. A huge parts of the world ...
... along with the increasing ofthe human population.

Firstly is creating water absorbent=>water-absorbent area.
... to keep stock of water by channelling =>channelingrain water =>rainwater use pipes or ...

Hope it will help you better :)
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / TEACHERS SHOULD NOT MAKE THEIR POLITICAL OR SOCIAL VIEWS KNOWN TO STUDENTS [2]

Hello @sinahector, Let me give you some corrections :)

Firstly, I want to remind you that if in task 2, we need to give our "thesis statements" after paraphrasing the question statements. In your essay, you have already giving background statements, but your thesis statements are not clear. So, it will be better if before you give your further opinion, please put the statements which showing your opinion clearly by emphasizing it with words "I totally agree or disagree with.....".

Remember these points to build your essay :
after Introduction=> Break your reasons into two body Paragraph with clearly separation=>Then you can support each of your main reasons by giving one or two examples included the suitable results. So, in the final paragraph, you can give your conclusion statements by re-paraphrase your thesis statements in the introduction, and give your recommendation if you feel your words still less than the requirement of writing task 2.

I believe you have a good potential in writing, but it will be better if your writing style more structured again :) Keep Writing and Good Luck :)
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / The consequences of Work or Travel before Starting New Study Life in University [2]

WRITING TASK 2 (NOVEMBER 7, 2016)

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Young aged is the critical periods in people live. The young people needs to improve their valuable experience in this stage. Choose to spend the time by searches something new life experience in work or do travel in a pastime during finishing study or starting new study life in university becomes one's confused desires of them.

Related to the cases, looking for a new life ability through the work after graduated from senior high school would give individuals some advantages. The individual have gained more time for beginning their skills from zero levels. Besides that the individual also can earlier be independent in their financial matters rather than others who decided the studies is them priority before work. However, the choices should have other disadvantages. According to Prof. Dr., John Davidson as the Head of Industrial Psychology Departments at Queensland University argued that the young people who started works after graduates from schools usually trapped into the comfort zone of their works. They would be more underachievement in their jobs because it is unwilling in improves their knowledge in high education more if they have been satisfied with incomes of their jobs.

In contrast, the individual who has chosen for traveled after studying or before starting to learn in the university should have several benefits. They will have more time for considering what the best step for continuing their life after graduated. They will get some experiences from any new people that they have met and that's would make them easily to create several comparisons of their references in study majors or work choices. Even though they need more time for beginning their study, but usually the people like this have mature plans about their futures.

All in all, every choice that the young people have to decide will be related to their successfulness in the future. Work or spends time for preparing to continue study surely have plus and minus respectively, just depends on the individual decided of which the best chosen for their life.

(336 words)
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / The figures of commodities transported in the UK from 1974 until 2002 [3]

The graph reveals information about the figures of commodities transported in the UK from 1974 until 2002 by using four kinds of transportation. Those transportations were the road, water, rail and pipeline. Overall, most of the goods transported via those transportation systems presented the upward trends which increased gradually for 28 years.

Looking at the details, the highest amount of commodities transported was shown by land transportation which was around 70 million tonnes in 1974 to approximately 100 million tonnes in 2002. As a result, it can be stated as a vast improvement among other mentioned transportation. In the second place, there was water transportation which gained about 20 million tonnes of goods in the observed years.

Furthermore, the fluctuation trend came from rail transportation. In 1974, the usage of the train for transporting goods was quite similar with water transportation about 40 million tonnes, however, during the following years, it gave a tiny increase. Inconstantly, the pipeline had been the lowest amount of supplies in 1974 which was around 10 million tonnes and just steadily inclined a bit of 20 million tonnes in 2002.

(181 WORDS)



  • Goods_transported_in.jpg
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / 'deciding by depth considerations'; People perspectives of fixed punishments for each type of crime [3]

WRITING TASK 2

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances ...


Today there are many various cases and motives of criminals in around of us. Some of the criminal action had the fixed punishment based on our laws. But, sometimes the application of the law can be change based on another aspect behind of the criminal cases. Besides that, the people should have the difference point of views toward some criminal cases.

For the people who being strict with the fixed punishment usually, have their own perceptions. However, they maybe think that there is no forgiveness for criminal actions that have been harming the others life. For example, the pedophilia case that happened in several months ago in certain elementary school where the offender is the teacher who has disorder sexual orientation and uses his students as the victims. The strict people would certainly don't need to add explanations of that case and directly had been decided for given the offender some of the hard punishments because he had been done a nasty and dissolute actions to the children. They would totally agree with the death penalty or life imprisonment convinces.

On the other hand, the people who being wisely with fixed punishment usually have their own views. Occasionally, the people who have this typical would be more have some considerations before judge the offender by his actions. For example, they would particularly disagree with the death penalty for the offender who has the psychological disorder such as purely pedophilia in his actions. However, they are still thinking about what the motives or how the background life of the offenders and usually have alternative punishments and keep agreeing with imprisonment convince but also with giving some psychological treatments.

To sum up, all of the criminal cases must have the punishments but should be better if the punishments are decided by depth considerations based on any factors which influence the people doing criminal actions.

(313 words)
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / THE CEMENT MAKING-PROCESS AND HOW TO USE IT as the component of buildings [3]

Writing Task I (November 6, 2016)

The diagrams illustrate the processes of cement produced and how to use it as the component of buildings. Overall, the cement is produced and have treated by using some equipment which haS cylinder form and in rotated processes or by mechanic processes by some of the cylinder spin machines.

To begin, the limestone and clay are crushed by a crusher machine before mixing it with the powder by a mixer tool. After that, the blend of those materials is spin into the rotating heater by flame on the end of the pipe for heating processed. The last process that is grinded the raw materials until be formed the cement powder before the packaged process.

On the other hand, the cement then readily used for the components of buildings and the processes how to use it is simply enough. To make the good quality of bricks, besides of cement, we need water, gravel, and sand with each composition. In produces solid bricks we must blend gravels as the most component maybe 50% of the blends and then adds sand and cement in smaller composition than gravels where is just 25 % and 15 % severally and as the last pour water onto the blends but not too much just 10 % from entirely of the cement compound.

(215 words)
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / Higher petrol price is not the only way to lower the level of greenhouse gasses [2]

Hello Mr. @ibe13 :) Let me give you some corrections :)

... number of private vehicles (,)(PUT COMMA) especially in urban area. Although some believe =>BELIEF to tackle this (...) this solution will conduce =>CONDUCT another problem ...

..., the higher cost for =>OF transportation is.
... government implemented THE policy to raise ...

It is because one of the reason=>REASONS why people prefer...

KEEP WRITING :) GOOD LUCK :)
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / A controversial issue about how to give the punishments to perpetrators. [3]

hi miss @ifraanisa05, allow me to give you some corrections :)

There is a controvercia l=>CONTROVERSIAL issue about how to ...
... every crime have=> HAS to be punished in accordance to =>WITH the regulations.
... before giving a judgement => JUDGMENT.

... motivation of criminals when commit =>COMITTING a crime before ...

For instance, the penalty of =>FOR the every killer ...
So, every teenagers or adults =>ADULT does not matter. They have to convicted =>CONVICT in the same way

GOOD LUCK :)
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / The traffic jam and highly emissions of exhaust fumes are the crucial problems in big cities [3]

WRITING TASK 2 (November 5, 2016)

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

What other measures do you think might be effective?


The policy of the government in increasing the price of petrol can be the one's solutions of traffic improvements and emissions problems today especially in big cities. However, the traffic jam and highly emissions in the big cities had been already public crucial problems which should get right solutions immediately.

In some things, traffic jam can be seriously obstacle for have been beginning some works in a timely. Moreover, the people needs for studying or working in time efficiently cannot happen if the traffic jam yet getting the solutions soon. For example, in Jakarta which as the capital of Indonesia, automatically make it had been the highest traffic's rate. As an impact, the people who have been staying in Jakarta should begin their day earlier than other people in other regions such as going to the office or school at 4 or 5 am for avoiding the traffic jam but should be arriving home in the night at 7 or 8 pm depends on their home distances. They have been passing these conditions in every day repeatedly as their routine activities. Not few people feel to be exhaust with their activities. For instance, the people have been experiencing psychological problems potentially such as become stressed or frustration, and the last results their productivities in works and studies had been influenced too.

As a solution where the government has been increasing the price of the petrol can be used for makes the roadway becomes wider than recent or can to make some free-way roads such as building the monorail-way or bypass-way. Otherwise, the fund can be used for developing some green spots in the city center such as the greening actions for reduces emissions in the big cities.

To sum up, undergo the raising of the petrol price, the problems of traffic jam and high emission produces in the cities will be declined.

(313 words)
SarlindaDS_27   
Nov 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / The budget and calculated spendings by a certain UK school during three decades (1981 to 2001) [3]

The charts illustrate about the modifying of detail expenditures which relatives by a certain UK school during three decades started from 1981 to 2001. Overall, all of the features had been gradually increased step by step during three decades, where the teachers' salaries had been the highest percentages of the school expenditures in each decade.

Among to the next decades in 1981, 1991 until 2001, the expenditure of features had been changed inconsistently where the insurance budget's had been gradually increased by 1 % until reached 6 % in 2001. Contrast with other features that had been changed in every decade where others staff's salaries had been declined gradually with fair significant by 13 % in 2001 than in 1981. But the book's provided, school's necessary and teacher's salaries had been fluctuated trends with up and down expenditures during decades where the books provided had been dropped to 9 % and the school's equipment had been jumped to 23 % otherwise the teacher's salaries had been dropped to 45 % in 2001 after had been declined by 5 % since in 1991 but still had been the highest percentage of all the expenditure features over the decades.

(197 words)

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