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Writing admission and application essays for graduate school (page 4)

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Career Change or Background Change

2 - The masters course is always determined by your work experience in relation to your work experience. While some universities...

Graduatesrijal - May 6, 2021 / Holt - May 7, 2021
Data Science - [AAS Essay - class of 2021] Why did you choose your proposed course and institution?

2 - Develop the reasons why you chose the courses at these universities. Aside from the textbook information that you found...

Graduatembimbagaskara - May 4, 2021 / Holt - May 4, 2021
In no more than 250 words, describe a real-life example of how strategic communication was used.

3 - Noted with thanks @holt will try to revise the essay...

GraduateRatudestiani - May 4, 2021 / Ratudestiani - May 4, 2021
Strategic Communication - Statement of Academic Purpose

2 - You do not present a clear purpose for your studies in relation to your existing skills.You are stopping short...

GraduateRatudestiani - May 4, 2021 / Holt - May 4, 2021
Earthquake engineering - study plan for visa application

2 - Your essay is good but falls a bit short of the actual information consideration for a Canadian student visa...

GraduateS_ammady - May 2, 2021 / Holt - May 2, 2021
How to prepare a good profile for acceptance at ETH Zurich?

2 - Are you applying for a masters program admission? That is the program that begins its application in November. I...

Graduatesimm - Apr 25, 2021 / Holt - Apr 26, 2021
Internship about famous places in the largest city of Vietnam

2 - Due to your redacted information, the sentences you wrote no longer make any sense. The paragraphs you present do...

Graduatekaonashi - Apr 15, 2021 / Holt - Apr 16, 2021
MOTIVATION LETTER ABOUT FLUID MECHANICS

2 - This is a personal statement. It contains information that shows the development of your interest in Fluid Mechanics. It...

Graduatelaylaa - Apr 11, 2021 / Holt - Apr 12, 2021
"Accessibility" - Personal statement for MSc in HPPF in LSE

2 - Your discussion is heavily focused on the reasons why you want to study MSc in Public Health. You failed...

GraduateMinc - Apr 6, 2021 / Holt - Apr 7, 2021
Industrial Revolution 4.0. Statement Of Purpose for MSc in Human Resources

3 - @Holt Thanks for your inputs. Will definitely rework this....

Graduatemekh - Apr 4, 2021 / mekh - Apr 4, 2021
SOP MCs Computer Science - EPFL - academic background and career strategy

3 - Thank you! I hadn't imaged that I had to be so precise about my future career. I'll try to...

Graduategiupiter_kh - Mar 30, 2021 / giupiter_kh - Mar 31, 2021
Study plan for master's of enterprise management for university in China

2 - This is not a study plan. This is a personal statement. There is nothing in this presentation that represents...

Graduateasya - Mar 28, 2021 / Holt - Mar 29, 2021
Learning Korean - GKS - Statement of Purpose - Language Study Plan

2 - The language study plan is normally responded to within 1-2 paragraphs that immediately outline the pre-Korea and post-Korea language...

Graduateiyo - Mar 26, 2021 / Holt - Mar 27, 2021
GKS-G Korean Scholarship | Personal Statement | M.S. Public Policy (Environment/Green Development)

3 - Thank you for your response. I've checked and do qualify under a new Korean Heritage category, provided neither...

Graduatescoriae - Mar 25, 2021 / scoriae - Mar 26, 2021
GKS-G Global Korean Scolarship | Personal Statement | Ph.D. in Cybersecurity

2 - The last paragraph is too long. You need to break that into 3 more parts based on the discussion...

Graduateresearcher182 - Mar 25, 2021 / Holt - Mar 26, 2021
Personal Statement for M.Eng. Mechanical Engineering at University of Alberta

2 - The ideal SOP presentation has a maximum word count of 750 words. I find this essay to be extremely...

GraduateDioBrando69 - Mar 23, 2021 / Holt - Mar 24, 2021
Anesthesiologist Assistant Program Personal Statement: Experience with Healthcare Disparities?

2 - I can understand how your father's illness would have opened your mind to considering a career in healthcare. However,...

GraduateGenJen - Mar 18, 2021 / Holt - Mar 19, 2021
Why becoming a GOI-IES Scholar matters to you, what you'll gain from this scholarship?

2 - This is actually an ordinary essay that does not have any stand out points or references that could catch...

Graduatemebax64893 - Mar 18, 2021 / Holt - Mar 19, 2021
Cross major - Personal Statement - GKS Graduate University Track

2 - - Do not use English slang words. This term is used as a derogatory reference to someone who...

Graduatehrdynt23 - Mar 14, 2021 / Holt - Mar 15, 2021
MASTER OF GLOBAL BUSINESS - AAS 2021 - Why this course and institution?

2 - ONE ESSAY PER THREAD. ADMIN SHALL DELETE THE REST OF THIS POST. KINDLY POST THOSE AS INDIVIDUAL THREADS INSTEAD....

Graduatetpekar15 - Mar 10, 2021 / Holt - Mar 10, 2021
Agricultural economics and rural development - Graduate Program - GKS - Personal Statment

2 - The essay is a relaxing read that covers all of the elements required in the discussion. However, I feel...

GraduateKasogi - Mar 9, 2021 / Holt - Mar 9, 2021
Supply Chain - Personal Statement Graduate GKS, Industrial Engineering

2 - Though your introduction to Korea is an interesting aspect of this presentation, it does not reflect a direct connection...

Graduatekarinrizky - Mar 5, 2021 / Holt - Mar 6, 2021
Fascination for things that fly. Personal statement for MS in Aerospace Engineering

2 - The Personal Statement should not be so loaded with the courses you completed both on and offline. You practically...

GraduateAnmol Chaudhary - Mar 4, 2021 / Holt - Mar 5, 2021
GKS-G Personal Statement for AI & Natural Language Processing

2 - The early part of the essay is a good introduction to your profession, but does not really apply itself...

Graduatequeenrey - Mar 3, 2021 / Holt - Mar 4, 2021
Cambodia Development - AAS Application: Why did you choose your proposed course

2 - How does your proposed course relate, in a professional manner, to addressing the needs of Cambodia? You gave a...

GraduateReksanil - Mar 2, 2021 / Holt - Mar 2, 2021
Spreading myself too thin on Cover letter/Personal Statement for Aerospace Engg, ISAE-SUPAERO?

3 - @Holt The paragraph 4 is the "how the program will help your future career" paragraph. Do you suggest another...

GraduateVarunVP - Feb 28, 2021 / VarunVP - Mar 1, 2021
2021 GKS Graduate; Personal Statement; I'm the youngest member of a four...

2 - Your presentation is a mix of the new and old prompt requirements. You may want to review the new...

Graduateslyny - Feb 26, 2021 / Holt - Feb 26, 2021
SOP for MS Human Computer-Interaction/ Changing Direction

2 - Your approach to presenting your relevant education is acceptable. Since the educational background does not seem to be a...

Graduatesbp - Feb 23, 2021 / Holt - Feb 24, 2021
MBA and technology - [KGSP-G] MASTERS IN BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION-STATEMENT OF PURPOSE

3 - @Holt Thank you so much. I will revise this now...

GraduateAkua Grey - Feb 21, 2021 / Akua Grey - Feb 22, 2021
SOP- SCAD - What first drawn me to a career as a visual artist were animations I watched as a child

2 - There is no real purpose for your studies. You have written a motivational letter rather than a statement of...

GraduateDizm - Feb 15, 2021 / Holt - Feb 16, 2021
Master's Programme in Mechanical Engineering with Automotive Engineering specialization

2 - The motivation for choosing the university is too superficial. It is based on commonly known information and what you...

GraduateSam96 - Feb 7, 2021 / Holt - Feb 8, 2021
Innovation and technology projects - GKS Program - Study Plan

2 - There are several paragraphs that need to be removed from this presentation. The first 2 paragraphs do not help...

GraduateThyciane - Feb 5, 2021 / Holt - Feb 6, 2021
Personal Statement for Master of Science in Human-Computer Interaction

2 - I wish I had a copy of the prompt requirements that your personal statement has to respond to. As...

Graduateazio - Feb 5, 2021 / Holt - Feb 5, 2021
Personal Ethical Dilemma essay for graduate school

2 - First up, never use the real names of people you know in the essay to protect their privacy. Yes,...

Graduatemedicat - Feb 4, 2021 / Holt - Feb 4, 2021
LOM for Erasmus Mundus E-Pico Program (Views, ideas, anything)

2 - It would be better if you reverse the presentation of your letter. Since this is a motivation letter, the...

Graduateweatherkicksass - Jan 31, 2021 / Holt - Feb 1, 2021
SOP for Msc in psychology and cognitive science

2 - You have to remove the reference to being an 11 year old and having such an active interest in...

Graduateale996 - Jan 30, 2021 / Holt - Jan 31, 2021
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE FOR GEOSCIENCE MASTER DEGREE, BRUNEI DARUSSALAM GOVERNMENT SCHOLARSHIP (BDGS)

2 - What is the purpose of your thesis research? How do you see this contributing to the study of volcanology...

Graduateshofihawan - Jan 28, 2021 / Holt - Jan 29, 2021
University of Pennsylvania's Master of Behavioral & Decision Science - Personal Statement

NEW - Personal Statement essay Hi all, I am applying to Master of Behavioral & Decision Science, University of Pennsylvania....

Graduatelisarg - Jan 24, 2021 / — -
UVirginia Data Science Statement Of Purpose

2 - You have a strong academic background. However, you are mistaking the internship for a professional experience which, even if...

GraduateMSDataScAspirant - Jan 22, 2021 / Holt - Jan 23, 2021
[KGSP-G] - International Trade Studies (GSIS) - Statement of Purpose

3 - I believe a good way to start your Goal of Study is with some experiences you had that motivated...

Graduatenhunggngu - Jan 21, 2021 / AlfredoCruz - Jan 21, 2021
Statement of Purpose for MPH in Global Health, unconventional background (PhD in Computer Science)

2 - This is a highly confusing essay to read. I guess it is because you are trying to justify a...

Graduatechiraz - Jan 19, 2021 / Holt - Jan 19, 2021
Statement of Purpose for Human Rights Studies in Sweden

2 - This is way too long for a statement of purpose. Unless otherwise specified, the SOP should be completed within...

GraduateMehjabin Ferdous - Jan 19, 2021 / Holt - Jan 19, 2021
Statement of purpose for graduate school, why EMECS - Erasmus Mundus Programme

2 - You cannot focus solely on your undergraduate education for an EM masters scholarship application. You have to show a...

GraduateTuronbek - Jan 18, 2021 / Holt - Jan 18, 2021
Statement of Purpose - Masters Degree in Education Leadership, Organizations, and Entrepreneurship

2 - I am not sure if this incorrect statement of purpose will help your application to Harvard. Specially since it...

Graduatemanuelavilasb - Jan 13, 2021 / Holt - Jan 14, 2021
Personal Statement Masters in EnergySystems (500 WORDS) - University of Oxford

2 - There is an extreme focus on your academic achievements overall. This unusual focus has resulted in your inability to...

GraduateHafizTaimoor - Jan 13, 2021 / Holt - Jan 14, 2021
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE/ MS in Human Nutrition in South Korea / [GSP]

2 - You can skip the first paragraph in relation to the TOPIK test. That is irrelevant to the discussion which...

Graduatemanabae - Jan 12, 2021 / Holt - Jan 12, 2021
International Security - Personal Statement - Erasmus Mundus IMSISS Scholarship

3 - i think it should be ... paradigms that prevent individuals to live from living in a safe environment...

GraduateSofiaM - Jan 7, 2021 / A7zanany - Jan 8, 2021
To Yale Silver from Belarus startup industry

3 - @Holt Thank you for the advice! I rebuilt it a bit. Does it seem stronger? However, my commitment deals...

GraduateMaximDeykalo - Jan 7, 2021 / MaximDeykalo - Jan 7, 2021
Statement for Purpose for Masters in Game Design/Development

2 - What you have here is a great personal statement that shows the development of your interest in Game Design...

Graduatewhaj47 - Jan 6, 2021 / Holt - Jan 6, 2021
Personal Statement for Msc in Marketing in Dublin

2 - As you are discussing an interest in Marketing based on a masters degree foundation, you should avoid references to...

Graduatefariha - Dec 26, 2020 / Holt - Dec 28, 2020
How to explain two years of gap in Statement of Purpose?

2 - The gap year is not a regularly required piece of information in a statement of purpose. The SOP focuses...

GraduateAnu123 - Dec 18, 2020 / Holt - Dec 18, 2020
My propensity towards data-driven systems and computer-based application - Data science masters SOP

2 - There is a problem with this essay. Though you fulfilled the academic and technical requirements for the course, even...

Graduateanurag2509 - Dec 15, 2020 / Holt - Dec 15, 2020
'I wanted to become a monkey' - Personal Statement for Masters of Environmental Management

4 - You should have an appropriate introduction. For example: My name is ABC, an environmental scientist in BCD institute. I...

GraduateCallipyge - Dec 14, 2020 / phidang123 - Dec 17, 2020
Short answer essay for Masters of Environmental Management

3 - Thank you so much for the response! That's a really good note, I'll be sure to adjust it. I...

GraduateCallipyge - Dec 10, 2020 / Callipyge - Dec 11, 2020
SOP - DOCTORAL DEGREE IN ECONOMICS (AGRICULTURAL ECONOMICS)

3 - @Holt. Thanks for the useful feedback. The requirement was stated as lettter of intent. I assumed that...

GraduateDeborah554 - Dec 7, 2020 / Deborah554 - Dec 8, 2020
SOP For Civil engineering at CMU

3 - Hi Holt, Thank you for your advice. it is really helpful for me I don't have a master degree....

GraduateDuctien1996 - Dec 7, 2020 / Ductien1996 - Dec 8, 2020
SOP Review for CMU's Master of Software Engineering (MSE for Professionals)

2 - The presentation itself is more of a lengthened experience presentation rather than a statement of purpose. From beginning to...

Graduateshikha1421 - Dec 6, 2020 / Holt - Dec 7, 2020
Statement of Purpose for MSc on Thermal Power and Fluid Engineering.

4 - Woah! I really appreciate your contributions, @Can2018543 and @Holt. Thank you so much. I will apply it for corrections....

GraduateMacjoseph - Dec 4, 2020 / Macjoseph - Dec 6, 2020
SOP for MSc Program at TU Delft

2 - The second paragraph is irrelevant to the discussion. You should remove that paragraph and replace it instead, with a...

GraduateAda1998 - Dec 3, 2020 / Holt - Dec 4, 2020
The intro for my SOP for masters in AI

3 - You have misunderstood the prompt for the SOP. A purpose is not the same as an explanation of the...

GraduateRitika_sharma - Nov 30, 2020 / Holt - Dec 1, 2020

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