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|'high achieving students from low income families' - short answer response
2 - This is a vague sentence. Since you started the response with mathematics, I think it would be better...
Scholarshipmylittlegoni - Sep 22, 2010 / ershad193 - Sep 22, 2010
|School - healthy lifestyle is a big plus for me
3 - Many students bring their own food, while others just don't mind getting cafeteria food. ---I added a comma. ...
Scholarshipjaduran - Sep 19, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 21, 2010
|Fellowship Essay for PhD program-how do you plan to help Egypt?
20 - Yes, indeed! Your essay looks great! Other than the change that I recommended, there is nothing at all wrong...
Scholarshipabbasadel - Aug 6, 2010 / mea505 - Sep 21, 2010
|Centers, infinity, absurdity--they're exciting
12 - I think that part might have been lost on me... I misunderstood which two unlike things you meant, but...
ScholarshipYayz - Aug 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 14, 2010
|How to write Internship application essay- on Human rights
4 - Hi, Thanks for your advice; it's really helpful; about instructions- No, they didn't give me any other instructions about...
Scholarshipaneta_gab - Sep 9, 2010 / aneta_gab - Sep 12, 2010
|"Vietnamese village family" - Why I am apllying the scholarship and What I achieved?
Scholarshipshon1k - Sep 5, 2010 / shon1k - Sep 9, 2010
|Why I want to volunteer at John Hopkins Hospital - Application Essay (200 words)
ScholarshipGogeta1217 - Sep 3, 2010 / jenf3r - Sep 6, 2010
|UofT in Life Science: Need help starting an essay on my career plan
7 - In that first sentence you switch from past to present tense. I know they still are presently in different...
ScholarshipEram09 - Aug 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 2, 2010
|Microsoft & Apple: Differences, Similarities & Best Interest of Users in Mind
Scholarshipdisplayname - Aug 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 31, 2010
|"bringing my friends together" - Scholarship Essay for Washington University
5 - It's like Ershad said... "repeating yourself." When you read this, it probably seems very different than it seems to...
Scholarshipherbertmatthews - Aug 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 29, 2010
|What do you feel is a balance between being successful financially & given back?
4 - Yeah I wrote it really fast and submitted it ..I looked for those errors hope I caught them.. Thank...
Scholarshipt1292 - Aug 20, 2010 / t1292 - Aug 23, 2010
|How to start an essay about obstacles in life?
4 - Yes, but let's not write about obstacles. Let's write about events in your life that are called obstacles...
ScholarshipBre - Aug 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 23, 2010
|College scholarship essay - Who are you?
4 - You used 'however' 2 times a little too close to each other so it seems repetitive. Maybe change one...
Scholarshipqpnguyen - Aug 17, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 19, 2010
|Center for Disease Control - Personal statement for CDC fellowship
NEW - Hi All, I'm applying for CDC post-doc fellowship. These fellowships are in area of public health and mainly for...
Scholarshipmnuss - Aug 11, 2010 / — -
|Actuarial Science: why your selected degree programme? Scholarship Essay Help.
10 - Good! Now the next level of structure is the topic sentence. Each para can start with a topic...
ScholarshipSunnyMarx - Aug 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 10, 2010
|'just like the injured dogs lying on the side of the street - Vires; Scholarship Essay(s)
Scholarshipelectricristina - Jul 2, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 1, 2010
|Making the best out of opportunities: IELTS scholarship essay guidance
3 - Could you please post your condensed essay taking into account the good comments from Kevin and Maria? I don't...
Scholarshipsajeev22 - Jul 27, 2010 / linmark - Jul 30, 2010
|Rhodes Scholarship Essay - why you wish to attend
2 - This description is a description of what an SOP should have. Your SOP should tell about your PLAN. People...
Scholarshipershad193 - Jul 10, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 12, 2010
|Essay for the embassy,how to make perfect essay to get accepted in a scholarship
7 - This is very good. I think you should come up with a memorable phrase or theme that the reader...
Scholarshipyamo - Jun 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 4, 2010
|Mention LOW SALARY on the Scholarship Personal Statement?
ScholarshipGoli - Jun 29, 2010 / Goli - Jul 1, 2010
|"Tell us what makes you a good college student", missionary work topic?
4 - I think that whether or not missionary work is "too religious" for the scholarship essay depends on who is...
Scholarshipdeg - Jun 23, 2010 / Notoman - Jun 30, 2010
|Scholarship Appeal Letter for not meeting credit and grade requirements
ScholarshipMoni09 - Jun 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 28, 2010
|Scholarship question: How has performing arts effected my life? (493 words used)
Scholarshipt1292 - Jun 24, 2010 / Moni09 - Jun 25, 2010
|Testimony and About Me Scholarship Essay
2 - There are to many grammatical errors to point them all out here. You should have someone ELSE read your...
Scholarshipjjinko - Jun 15, 2010 / t1292 - Jun 25, 2010
|A chance to blossom! "Why do you deserve this scholarship?"
2 - all in all... pcvrz34g, you use a very vivid metaphore of yourself as a flower blossoming. I like the...
Scholarshippcvrz34g - Jun 25, 2010 / Natalaaa1221 - Jun 25, 2010
|MSc in Tourism management course - Essay for university scholarship.
7 - Thanks for your opinion ershad, i understand what you are trying to say but what points you want me...
ScholarshipDevashish - Jun 17, 2010 / Devashish - Jun 22, 2010
|About Reginald Spain, describe your academic or career goals.
Scholarshipt1292 - Jun 18, 2010 / t1292 - Jun 21, 2010
|medical technology: essay question for internship application
Scholarshipthni - Jun 19, 2010 / thni - Jun 21, 2010
|Diploma in Graphic Design - scholarship personal statement
Scholarshipxoxo_f - Jun 18, 2010 / xoxo_f - Jun 19, 2010
|Becoming a diabetic nurse: explanation of educational goals for a scholarship app.
3 - My purpose for returning to school is to recapture a dream that I once had in high school. about...
Scholarshiptulalipangel - Jun 18, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 19, 2010
|Ambition to become an oustanding commodity trader (Postgraduate Economics program)
Scholarshipvkkhongtien - May 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 12, 2010
|A RURAL WOMAN SCIENTIST: international scholarship
10 - Thank you very much for your kind help and great encouragment. I did changes and need your wise...
Scholarshipwalaa - May 31, 2010 / walaa - Jun 6, 2010
|Mild terror is a very effective motivator. (Swarthmore College)
Scholarshipkenziii - May 30, 2010 / kenziii - Jun 2, 2010
|"My father's death wish", scholarship essay: Most challenging inicident of my life
2 - I am so grateful for the work name-here had been doing. This time, particularly, you saved me a lot...
Scholarshipjensy - May 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 1, 2010
|scholarship essay:explanation of financial need and desire to become
3 - Yes, that is some great advice from Hellstrider :-) I hope you will feel confident as you write some...
ScholarshipSummerc91 - May 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 27, 2010
|France: Where would you go in your flying house?
Scholarshipcbsmallville - May 13, 2010 / cbsmallville - May 26, 2010
|Temple admissions: where do i see myself in 10 years?; scholarship foundation
12 - Yes, this is getting to be a pretty powerful essay! Good progress... Be careful not to change it too...
ScholarshipMichele1248 - Mar 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 26, 2010
|Tech(No or Yes)logy. A means to an end
Scholarshipmeisj0n - May 19, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 21, 2010
|Economic forecasts - briefly discussion of proposed research areas
3 - Yes, I think Jon might have been talking about this number agreement problem: Forests are important economic resources; they...
Scholarshipmyraniel - May 19, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 20, 2010
|doctorate degree in Computer Science - my scholarship application
4 - What you have achieved is really impressive, but I'd like to hear more about how Optiportal will help Vietnam,...
Scholarshiphoangnguyen177 - May 11, 2010 / talaan - May 19, 2010
|Partial scholarships essay help for master degree in marketing
4 - Thank you very much for the advice...hopefully I could start to write something, as soon as I get the...
Scholarshipb3aum0nt - Apr 24, 2010 / b3aum0nt - May 17, 2010
|Rhio O'Connor's Story, My Story about life and death
4 - You are welcome!! Please help me give advice to the people whose essays are on the "unanswered" list. (The...
Scholarshipklvaniko - May 10, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 14, 2010
|Implementation of the universal healthcare / Paul Goodman essay contest
4 - All the stuff in the first paragraph is condescending and too obvious. Do you know what I mean whn...
Scholarshipcbsmallville - May 11, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 14, 2010
|Scholarship essay: A personal Biography by Newsha born in Tehran, Iran
NEW - Hi everyone, This scholarship I'm applying to is due in about 6 hours. I would GREATLY appreciate anyone's help...
Scholarshipnewsha31 - May 14, 2010 / — -
|Influential Person , Neila
6 - hahaha i am not a grammar stickler! You can't be a writer and also a stickler for grammar, not...
ScholarshipTimMill - May 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 8, 2010
|Earthquakes, tornadoes, Did you feel it?
3 - EF_Kevin I will make sure about small mistakes. Thank you for your compliment. I am really happy after three...
Scholarshipalina967 - May 4, 2010 / alina967 - May 8, 2010
|"Describe your career and educational goal" - Need help on my scholarship
4 - i think sussan gives u the best answer .question yourself of what you want to be .what are your...
Scholarshiptramnguyen0385 - May 4, 2010 / natacha - May 7, 2010
|"Discuss personal and family Financial Need" UTA scholarship
4 - You can pack all the sentences power into a quick punch: I remember when I was an elementary school...
Scholarshiphtranx - May 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 6, 2010
|Primary health care and nursing scholarship essays
3 - ...in the U.S. and internationally. Not only am I a triplet, I am full-blooded Lebanese. --- what does...
Scholarshipjojojetplane - May 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 3, 2010
|Describe how you have demonstrated leadership ability both in and out of school.
4 - i didn't read the whole thing, i just wanted to mention that it is spelled 'pursue', not 'persue'. always...
Scholarshipjorgem09 - Apr 2, 2010 / phenomanand - Apr 30, 2010
|[Education] International school scholarship application essay
NEW - Hi guys, I'm new here. I'm applying for an international school and I had to write an essay covering...
ScholarshipDave - Apr 27, 2010 / — -
|Management Consulting: Is this essay ok for Scholarship in MS degree?
Scholarshipdavoodhayati - Apr 20, 2010 / davoodhayati - Apr 21, 2010
|Scholarship essay for Msc International Business and Corporate Social Responce
2 - Needless to say, there is some profit in these activities, which they will reap, one way or another. ---...
Scholarshipjosie - Apr 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 17, 2010
|"always standing in front of brick walls" - Scholarship Essay and Autobiography
ScholarshipSarareh - Apr 13, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 17, 2010
|Community service: This is an essay for the nordstrom scholarship
3 - It should probably all be capitalized: Make A Wish Foundation The desire they have to continue on living...
Scholarshipdiana255036 - Apr 12, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 14, 2010
|The Changing Tourism Industry and How I Fit
5 - haha, that is great, thanks! And long sentences are not so bad! But add some short sentences sometimes...
ScholarshipPrinnyS04 - Apr 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 9, 2010
|"I'm afraid to fail", essay about myself
12 - EF_kevin. thank you for your advice. i will fix it thanked again for helping me cute angle- yes,...
Scholarshipazwi - Apr 5, 2010 / azwi - Apr 8, 2010
|Why do you want to attend St. Bede academy?
4 - Yes, this needs to be developed some more. When you write, try to share a unique insight. This is...
Scholarshipirishgirl - Apr 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 8, 2010
|"People who live in simplicity vs. results" - scholarship introduction essay
4 - Yeah, I was thinking this meant: People who live in simplicity do not necessarily bring about simple results....
Scholarshipsyikkin - Apr 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 8, 2010
|Why are you a good candidate to receive this award?
Scholarshipsalvy09 - Apr 2, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 4, 2010
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