|Undergraduate [25,622] - page 406 of 428|
|UW Personal Statement, your college career to date
5 - Well, you do write quite well, and your long sentences are not run-on sentences. it is good that you...
Undergraduatememelia - Dec 21, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|The Jerome Fish Program ; UPenn Dual Management &Technology
UndergraduatePyramus - Dec 22, 2008 / Pyramus - Dec 23, 2008
|Penn why essay; I want to be a psychologist
5 - Thanks all your guys...suggestion accepted.. Yes, i am from China and English is my second language.....
Undergraduatepenny10880 - Dec 22, 2008 / penny10880 - Dec 23, 2008
|I have earned more A's; About what I believe; Essay for Yale
UndergraduateNikhil - Dec 21, 2008 / Nikhil - Dec 23, 2008
|brown supplements - the response.
4 - Your welcome. Well since Kevin commented on it and he's way better than I am, i dont think there's...
Undergraduatejoke0611 - Dec 22, 2008 / stimpsimp - Dec 23, 2008
|UNC- Best Teacher
UndergraduateChiHF9009 - Dec 22, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|'hard work is rewarded' - common app short answer, cross country.
5 - My most meaningful commitment over the past four years has been running on the cross country team . ...
Undergraduatefastracker91 - Dec 15, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|"Spirit Club" - your activities essay
Undergraduateyourichang - Dec 22, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|'words on the website' - Brown: Your interest and your reasons for applying
4 - Just one idea: As I perused Brown's website, I discovered that their program for international studies offered much...
UndergraduateEcho - Dec 22, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|Upenn Essay- the academic, social and athletic networks
6 - Wow, that is good advice, too. Well, keep all of that in mind, and proceed with tons of confidence!...
Undergraduategmailblows31 - Dec 20, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|'emphasis on individual' - Sarah Lawrence College supplement
4 - Try this: Finally, the abbreviation of my name is CLS, and the abbreviation of Sarah Lawrence College...
Undergraduatecharliesun - Dec 22, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|Common App: elaborate on 1 of your activities (choir of Crescent Girls)
3 - I was in choir of Crescent Girls' School during grades 9 and 10. I participated in it initially due...
UndergraduateBaiwanyu - Dec 22, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|A CULT and YOUTH?- UC Essay Prompt #1. revise.
7 - I was repeatedly taught that I did was not affiliated with any particular "religion" but to a "method" by...
Undergraduatenunya415 - Nov 23, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008
|'Why' Essay - Go For Wabash ! Go Wally! To Become A Gentleman
Undergraduategetitlow - Dec 12, 2008 / tanty - Dec 23, 2008
|Incomplete cornell - rich, famous.. doctor
5 - "I won't deny that I was quite brilliant in biology, but every now and then, because my father didn't...
Undergraduatepandora - Dec 22, 2008 / spiritprimer - Dec 23, 2008
|"Small tasks" - Common App work experience essay
2 - Grammatical revisions: "Small tasks such as moving boxes or packing documents are just as important as the other...
Undergraduatehbinjo - Dec 22, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 23, 2008
|Helping out at summer school, significane experience. It's for stanford.
Undergraduatejacobose_22 - Dec 22, 2008 / joke0611 - Dec 22, 2008
|common app writing, short (speed-skating)
2 - "I can constantly challenge myself." Defeat isn't quite the right word in the original. "A moment's loss of...
Undergraduatenemrac - Dec 22, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 22, 2008
|Penn supplement -- (Wharton should be a good fit for me)
7 - Yes, but the problem is that business at Penn isn't something you can't get anywhere else. In spite of...
Undergraduatenemrac - Dec 19, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 22, 2008
|'Dr. Franklin Allen' - Penn supplement - professor and why
Undergraduatenemrac - Dec 22, 2008 / imike - Dec 22, 2008
|Common App essay - Orchestra experience
6 - Wonderful essay. I love the imagery you use and the way you conveyed your passion. Great job :]...
Undergraduatevectoraj - Dec 15, 2008 / imike - Dec 22, 2008
|NYU Supplements- all 5, help with strenghts/weaknesses
9 - Well i actually used a rap song for my NYU talent show response. Handlebars by Flobots. Its all about...
Undergraduategmailblows31 - Dec 17, 2008 / imike - Dec 22, 2008
|ECONOMICS, CHINA & ASIA PACIFIC STUDIES; Cornell college of arts and sciences
Undergraduatewongxy - Dec 22, 2008 / wongxy - Dec 22, 2008
|'My top colleges / Kind to others' - Lehigh University
UndergraduateYoshipupdude - Dec 21, 2008 / Yoshipupdude - Dec 22, 2008
|Common App - Person of Significance (Never hurt anyone or anything)
2 - Hello Mehmet, In my opinion (It's your choice to accept or reject), I think you only recite what...
Undergraduatelighter3891 - Dec 22, 2008 / Ivy_91 - Dec 22, 2008
|CALS (committed to the improvement of life) - review and advice
7 - Thanks :). Feel free to check the FAQ section or the EssayForum Contributors page for more information. EssayForum.com...
Undergraduatejoshua - Dec 19, 2008 / EF_Team - Dec 22, 2008
|Rochester Essay - Supp. (secluded from society)
2 - I think that you start out well..as in the direction that you intend to in would lead into an...
Undergraduatenunya415 - Dec 22, 2008 / fastracker91 - Dec 22, 2008
|common app short (keen on becoming a member of the student body)
Undergraduatepinkrink - Dec 20, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2008
|why do you want to attend pratt? 'my interest in architecture'
3 - I had always thought that one was either good at art or not, naturally; however, my artistic abilities have...
Undergraduatecalico0605 - Dec 21, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2008
|Common Application Essay (My Transition to High School)
3 - It could work out okay if you expand the meaning by concluding with a revision of that saying. Perhaps...
UndergraduateCellerdoor - Dec 21, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2008
|Which essay should I use as my Common App essay?
6 - Oh... yes, I prefer the first one, I guess, but they are both good! Sometimes you have to choose...
Undergraduatealicimoo - Dec 20, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2008
|Evaluate a significant experience you have faced and its impact on you.
6 - Nope, that means to surround something. You are trying to say that is .. maybe... pierced them? ha ha,...
Undergraduateatomvik - Dec 20, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2008
|NYU short answers - Trait, NYC, talent, academic program
2 - Here's another one In addition to any work experience that you listed on your application, please tell us...
Undergraduatesilversweet - Dec 22, 2008 / silversweet - Dec 22, 2008
|UIUC essay 1 (the fields of business and accounting)
3 - Here is a fix for the ending: Business is the heart of my academic and professional interests, but...
Undergraduateprincetongirl - Dec 21, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2008
|I was presiding at piano in a 13-piano-ensemble at The Cemetery for Martyrs in April 2006.
3 - Better to write out the numbers, so it looks nice: I was presiding at piano in a thirteen-piano...
Undergraduatecharliesun - Dec 21, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2008
|"Computer game" + "Stock market" - Common Application Essay
Undergraduatejohnbian8308 - Dec 22, 2008 / — -
|u michigan short answers essay
3 - wow~ It is really helpful for me! I didn't know that I can find this great helper online. Thank...
Undergraduateomgomgomg - Dec 21, 2008 / omgomgomg - Dec 22, 2008
|A Question - , an Egyptian - American woman/ College essay
2 - I would strongly advise cutting the first two paragraphs. For some reason, they have an undeniably soporific effect, though...
Undergraduatenoureiny - Dec 21, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 22, 2008
|Common App Essay (Anti-Americanism)
UndergraduateJustGlaze - Dec 20, 2008 / JustGlaze - Dec 21, 2008
|Princeton - Significant Person - my mentor Mr. Mehmet Yuksel
Undergraduatelighter3891 - Dec 21, 2008 / lighter3891 - Dec 21, 2008
|'the president of Taekwondo Club' - common app short answer - extracurricular
UndergraduateSapphire - Dec 21, 2008 / Sapphire - Dec 21, 2008
|"a fatal mistake" - CommonApp Essay 1
UndergraduateIvy_91 - Dec 13, 2008 / Ivy_91 - Dec 21, 2008
|"Why Colorado College" essay
2 - It's not too personal. It's quite good in that regard, actually. I'd do something about the order of your...
Undergraduatebatdoi - Dec 21, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 21, 2008
|Recalling three years that have passed. Personal essay on volunteer experience!
8 - This is much more interesting to read. A definite improvement. The excitement now comes from your own clearly stated...
UndergraduateAmyRemus - Dec 19, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 21, 2008
|Columbia short answers; most appealing thing/ why the study of engineering
5 - Here is a revision, again for grammar. You might want to continue to work on creating stronger transitions between...
Undergraduateprl - Dec 15, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 21, 2008
|Describe an activity - an English newspaper Huijia Voice
2 - I'd say you need to add a bit more background. What made you think that an English newspaper would...
Undergraduateseatoy - Dec 21, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 21, 2008
|Hula has always been one of my passions; COMMON APP: DECISIONS
8 - Thanks!...
Undergraduatex soundclash - Dec 20, 2008 / x soundclash - Dec 21, 2008
|'awards and accomplishments' - UPenn - Professor of Interest
8 - Unfortunately, because of the space limits, I had to cut out some of the great ideas you guys gave...
Undergraduatelighter3891 - Dec 20, 2008 / lighter3891 - Dec 21, 2008
|Describe a significant experience common app essay (I love canoeing)
3 - As my body poised for yet another stroke, I would feel incredibly lucky- this is canoeing; this is my...
Undergraduatethejoymovement - Dec 21, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2008
|Common app-elaborate on one of your activities, "to understand the material
12 - kikozang, I get it!!! Thanks for the clarification! I guess I thought you were making fun of her for...
Undergraduatetiffanyh5849 - Dec 19, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2008
|BU essay - a trip to Boston
2 - I had been to Boston several times before, but I especially anticipated this visit because I was going to...
Undergraduategmailblows31 - Dec 20, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2008
|Why do you want to attend Pratt and what do you hope to accomplish from you
3 - The word "drawer" is a little awkward. I would changed the sentence to: I am passionate about drawing...
Undergraduateadelewu - Dec 20, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2008
|The University of Pennsylvania Long Supplement Essay
Undergraduatestimpsimp - Dec 19, 2008 / stimpsimp - Dec 21, 2008
|reason for your major - interest in economics
3 - Here is some more help: Walking to and from school, I could observe many stores being closed, and...
Undergraduatetaeok64 - Dec 20, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2008
|Common App essay 2 (political and international headlines)
4 - This sentence could be eliminated, or you could fix it as follows: In the past decades, the new comings...
Undergraduatenunya415 - Dec 20, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2008
|about me - There are certain things that I care a lot about.
4 - There are certain things that I care a lot about, such as family, friendship, school, and sports. Although...
Undergraduateprl - Dec 20, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2008
|Common app elaborate one of your activities- my volleyball life
4 - Yes, thank you for your comments. This version had some mistakes, now with your thought I was able to...
Undergraduateprl - Dec 20, 2008 / prl - Dec 21, 2008
|Common Application: my native homeland of Zimbabwe. Correct any mistakes.
6 - Hi, Thank you all, I have taken note of all the important points of correction you have raised,...
Undergraduatejoshua - Dec 20, 2008 / joshua - Dec 21, 2008
|Northwestern attracts me with its robust economics programme, renowned professors in the faculty
5 - the reasons you like one college are not necessarily all related to academics. You can look beyond facts (well-known...
Undergraduatechickpig - Dec 20, 2008 / batdoi - Dec 21, 2008
|New York Short Answers (family characteristic, new event, talent show song)
Undergraduatechickpig - Dec 20, 2008 / chickpig - Dec 21, 2008
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