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|U of Chicago essay
7 - I actually thought the metaphorical use of the "road of life" was quite appealing. I hope you integrated your...
Undergraduatedreamswept - Dec 6, 2008 / amy - Dec 28, 2008
|'a devoted athlete' - Trinity College essay- integrity contract
2 - As a distinguished member of my school's community and a devoted athlete, I believe in dependability, responsibility, and honesty....
Undergraduatetonywchen - Dec 27, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 28, 2008
|Common App Essay (Athletes Serving the Community)
6 - This is something that gives you an excuse to call the admissions office, and tell your name, make a...
Undergraduatetonywchen - Dec 26, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 28, 2008
|Summer act. char limit prob
6 - 2008: Elementary school: A ball will bounce when it hits the ground. Will light? Now, I wanted to know....
Undergraduatepandora - Dec 27, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 28, 2008
|Which version should I use? (major is for biology)
2 - Wow, your first few paragraphs are great! Now, be sure to italicize the titles: My passion for astronomy...
Undergraduatezizi201 - Dec 27, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 28, 2008
|Common App: Fundraising consultant, physical therapist and neonatologist
8 - Thanx Kevin and Yung-En.. I already submitted so hopefully it will get me in... anyway thnx again..tke care...
UndergraduateSweetGirl - Dec 23, 2008 / SweetGirl - Dec 28, 2008
|U of Illinois #1 (My fascination with the business world)
2 - I shadowed my father everyday, eying his every move and noting his every action. Having watched my dad run...
Undergraduateprincetongirl - Dec 27, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 28, 2008
|Princeton Summers - Korean
2 - I think the overall of the essay is pretty well done, but may I suggest you use another example...
UndergraduateIvy_91 - Dec 28, 2008 / Angela629 - Dec 28, 2008
|MY ESSAY FOR SYRACUSE : IT'S REALLY NEED ENHACEMENT
Undergraduateqiuerwei - Dec 27, 2008 / qiuerwei - Dec 28, 2008
|MIT essay (my family will never fail to celebrate together)
UndergraduateSapphire - Dec 27, 2008 / Sapphire - Dec 28, 2008
|NYU CAS for 2009 - summer vacation/ activity/ family trait/ song/ academic program - Short Answers
3 - I agree, you have great scores and a good gpa. Other than that, your short answers are well written....
Undergraduatealightinapark - Dec 28, 2008 / gcueva26 - Dec 28, 2008
|'Chemistry and new people' - Why do I want to apply to Emory University?
5 - a lot of your essay has stuff about location and size...Since the questions says besides, try to write about...
Undergraduatejoke0611 - Dec 26, 2008 / princetongirl - Dec 28, 2008
|Gain hands on experience, gain a greater appreciation for the NASA mission; NASA INSPIRE PROGRAM
3 - "For a student interested in pursuing a career in aerospace engineering, I believed there to beare only a few...
Undergraduatemihirmj - Dec 28, 2008 / Linnus - Dec 28, 2008
|Cornell CAS Essay (intellectual interests). Does it make sense?
Undergraduateatomvik - Dec 27, 2008 / mihirmj - Dec 27, 2008
|a para from Cornell engineering essay vague? unclear?
Undergraduatechuliuxiang - Dec 27, 2008 / Linnus - Dec 27, 2008
|Personal statement for NUS: The big day
Undergraduatefaizan_abid - Dec 26, 2008 / faizan_abid - Dec 27, 2008
|Is Sociology/AP Psychology considered core academic subjects?
Undergraduateyee - Dec 26, 2008 / yee - Dec 27, 2008
|essay about Setbacks, I'm a foreign student,need help
7 - I think it would be good to write about cultural conflicts with your host family and how you overcame...
Undergraduatehanson3566 - Dec 26, 2008 / yfung91 - Dec 27, 2008
|BU Supplement (I have many connections with Boston)
8 - Ohh okay thank you! I see what you're saying. Do you think that my essay sounds too much like...
Undergraduatechristineg711 - Dec 26, 2008 / christineg711 - Dec 27, 2008
|Common App Essay ("Grazie! Grazie!")
Undergraduatecrissy1251 - Dec 26, 2008 / christineg711 - Dec 27, 2008
|I chose to go to Kenya for my school trip - Travelling to other countries
UndergraduateIvy_91 - Dec 21, 2008 / Ivy_91 - Dec 27, 2008
|Grinnell Supplement essay - what makes me an individual
9 - well, I just said that I first learnt Grinnell from Grinnell students in a foreign forum. And I then...
Undergraduatejustinwang - Dec 25, 2008 / justinwang - Dec 27, 2008
|I was really fascinated in the law of supply and demand; Academic interests
2 - What intership was this? What kind of factory was this? What was the purpose of your internship? In the...
Undergraduatejustinwang - Dec 26, 2008 / EF_Constance - Dec 27, 2008
|"Do you feel like you are part of the local community?" u of michigan
Undergraduatekaka0525 - Dec 24, 2008 / kaka0525 - Dec 27, 2008
|After-school activity - Role playing
4 - I would change the first sentence because it sounds like role-playing is your only after school activity. I would...
Undergraduateowen92217 - Dec 26, 2008 / EF_Constance - Dec 27, 2008
|The click of a camera shutter; NYU short answers [all five]
4 - thanks so much for the feedback!!! SUPER helpful.. Yeah -- music business or music industry is a major...
Undergraduatex soundclash - Dec 26, 2008 / x soundclash - Dec 27, 2008
|"Why architecture?" essay - Rice
3 - Thanks! I just want to make sure it's coherent and I don't sound like I'm jumping from place to...
Undergraduatepriscileung - Dec 26, 2008 / priscileung - Dec 27, 2008
|Nerd at heart - Why UChicago
4 - Oh, I'm sorry about that, but there is no changing posts, just editing that everyone can see. We need...
Undergraduatexperceptionx - Dec 26, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 27, 2008
|'political science and Obama's field office' - Cornell- college of arts and sciences
3 - i just got access to a computer here and Mexico, and I read through your response. I had corrected...
Undergraduategmailblows31 - Dec 25, 2008 / gmailblows31 - Dec 27, 2008
|'I can contribute tons in college' - Lehigh University Supplement Questions
NEW - As you researched and visited colleges and universities, why did you decide to apply to Lehigh? Please give specific...
Undergraduaten00bl3t - Dec 27, 2008 / — -
|What is your favourite word and why? - Uni of Virginia
15 - hmm... i think i almost liked your first version better... the second version makes you "haha" outlook on life...
Undergraduatewongxy - Nov 26, 2008 / mbhaire - Dec 27, 2008
|My father said my essay sucked (Why Engineering? Why Cornell)
6 - Engineering reminds me of the particle accelerators that smash atoms together to make extraordinary products. If we put the...
Undergraduatechuliuxiang - Dec 26, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 27, 2008
|Alex and Su essay (the Monkey King and Alexander the Great) common app
6 - I applaud your extra effort. When you feel inspiration come over you, always use it! Put the comma...
Undergraduatejenf3r - Nov 24, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 27, 2008
|[BYU] What to write in a brief biography?
6 - Good! It's funny how, in order to achieve your goals, sometimes you need to be smart and tell people...
UndergraduateAmyRemus - Dec 19, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 27, 2008
|Should we hide feeling or not?
2 - I am very above-board and talkative. I tend to express what I think . However, hiding emotions also has...
UndergraduatePuck - Dec 26, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 27, 2008
|'disciplinary lessons' - Tufts - Short Answer
6 - Yes, I second that! You guys are great! To all of you who offer such meaningful peer reviews, please...
Undergraduatehello123 - Dec 25, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 27, 2008
|'I began to finalize my own college list' - Why Carnegie?
12 - Cornell harbors brilliant professors and a diverse student body that I know will stimulate me to be my best....
Undergraduate123abc - Dec 23, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 27, 2008
|common app short answer (work at the hospital)
3 - Having worked at the hospital for almost two years has helped me prepare for the real world, at least...
Undergraduatejoke0611 - Dec 26, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 27, 2008
|Common App-Significant Experience- To jump or not to jump (suggestions pls)
5 - I was not the kind of girl who enjoyed going without showers for a week, surviving on the staple...
Undergraduatecutiepotutie25 - Dec 26, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 27, 2008
|As inventory and supply manager of the restaurant, such is a typical work day for me.
3 - It had been a long tiring walk to the restaurant from the Port Authority. I finally reached the restaurant...
Undergraduateakashnegi - Dec 26, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 27, 2008
|'I came from a past marked by war and political corruption in my homeland' - UVA supplement essay
3 - My parents, during the Salvadorian civil war, belonged to two opposing political factions, embodying the spirit of Romeo &...
Undergraduategmanz - Dec 26, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 27, 2008
|U of wisconsin essay - "knowledge is boundless"
3 - Heyy...I wrote another one...i felt this answers more of the question... The University of Wisconsin values an educational...
Undergraduateprincetongirl - Dec 23, 2008 / princetongirl - Dec 27, 2008
|Common application essay (why the caged bird sings) --is it too typical?
4 - Only the establishing of the timeline. Once you have fixed that and the metaphors, you can post the revised...
UndergraduateHg4ever - Dec 26, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 27, 2008
|JHU essay - why this major
3 - Your opening dialogue now ties in to your introduction much more clearly. Grammatically, "CEO, the check that we received...
UndergraduateSapphire - Dec 26, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 27, 2008
|Biomedical Engineering at the McCormick School of Engineering and Applied Science - NU essay
3 - The revised version is definitely clearer. You could smooth out the grammar like this: I wish to study...
Undergraduatechuliuxiang - Dec 26, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 27, 2008
|"My vacation of 2007" - Princeton Supplemental Essay
8 - Thanks for pointing out my mistakes. When I read my essay, I knew there were something that has to...
UndergraduateAngela629 - Dec 18, 2008 / Angela629 - Dec 27, 2008
|Common App Essay- 'Passion'
Undergraduatechickpig - Dec 21, 2008 / chickpig - Dec 27, 2008
|College of Arts and Sciences- Cornell Essay (need advice on shortening)
4 - Actually, after reviewing the essay, I find that the front portion of paragraph 1 is still relevant because it...
Undergraduatechickpig - Dec 20, 2008 / chickpig - Dec 27, 2008
|Upenn Essays - the courses of study that most interest me
6 - Hmm mcwingo20, I'm not too sure how to fit in 'interesting catchers' for an essay prompt like this because...
Undergraduatechickpig - Dec 19, 2008 / chickpig - Dec 27, 2008
|MIT (Optional Essay: Describe something you've built)
3 - Thanks for the advice. Are there any other grammatical errors and do you think this is an effective essay?...
Undergraduateocer22891 - Dec 26, 2008 / ocer22891 - Dec 27, 2008
|General essay question - Stories
4 - I think its very important that the point can relate all three stories though! I wrote an essay in...
Undergraduatet3h50 - Dec 25, 2008 / shadiali - Dec 27, 2008
|undergrad essay, Pratt is the best option for me
2 - This essay suffers from numerous grammatical problems, but before you revise for grammar and style, I would advise rewriting...
Undergraduatelorerainbow - Dec 26, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 26, 2008
|why tufts? need to know if its specific enough
10 - thanks heaps guys! I feel that SAT CR section is much easier than this "why us" questions. Its very...
Undergraduatezowzow - Dec 26, 2008 / zowzow - Dec 26, 2008
|Middlebury College Essay ~ on Christmas Eve lol
5 - Looks great! Merry Christmas to you too! (Have you got a good recipe for hot and sour soup?) ...
UndergraduateBensonGuo - Dec 25, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2008
|My mother's depression - personal academic interests relate to your intellectual goals
2 - Fortunately, her distress eventually got better after one change in her daily routine: consultinga psychiatrist. However, in my...
Undergraduateahpahf723 - Dec 26, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2008
|'one's self is through discovery' - EMORY supplement
4 - when you mention your friend be sure to add a name, it will make it sound more personal. Also...
Undergraduatemustaa - Dec 25, 2008 / debaterchick09 - Dec 26, 2008
|MIT (Short Activity Essay) RUNNING!
4 - This is a very nicely written answer. There's a lot of imagery in there that helps the reader grasp...
Undergraduateocer22891 - Dec 26, 2008 / hello123 - Dec 26, 2008
|first moments teaching - Common App Essay - A story (Topic of Choice)
Undergraduatexperceptionx - Dec 26, 2008 / ocer22891 - Dec 26, 2008
|'an elderly man singing' - Emory Supplement
Undergraduateyee - Dec 24, 2008 / yee - Dec 26, 2008
|Extra curricular essay (helping Thanh in English)
Undergraduatekingah - Dec 26, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2008
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