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|Common app short answer - Fiber optics (150 words)
5 - Start with an intro sentence that captures the central truth of the essay. Three-dimensional vision has been used to...
Undergraduateabcdefg - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2008
|NJIT essay - evaluate and edit if needed! 'application and integration of technology in most fields'
2 - This is a good essay (just needs some grammatical tweaking), but I'm not sure if it really answers the...
Undergraduatekeyurjain21 - Dec 29, 2008 / mbhaire - Dec 29, 2008
|NYU 4 Short Answers (family, life at NYU, talent show...)
3 - Maybe Christine is right to suggest cutting this part, but if it is important to you to keep it,...
UndergraduateLimon1909 - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2008
|University of Illlinois (academic interests vs professional goals)
4 - Yes, right on! Sean was probably looking at your thread title: (i.e. academic interests vs professional goals) IT...
Undergraduatemustaa - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2008
|NYU Short Answers--(singing, bicycle, summer vacation)
5 - Molly and Christine, please check out the contributor page (link at the bottom of the screen), because you could...
Undergraduatemgbinger - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2008
|common app short answer ("the smallest player on the court")
4 - Standing one inch short of five feet, and always the smallest player on the court, the odds have always...
Undergraduateuhlyssuh - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2008
|most appealing about Columbia (afraid it Doesnt make sense...)
6 - My generation needs to face the fact that the job market is increasingly competitive due to the economic crisis....
Undergraduateyfung91 - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2008
|Rochester supplement (different points of view)
4 - For any foreign students coming to the United States, it is difficult to adapt to the new environment. I...
UndergraduateVeggy - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2008
|Duke Application Essay (risk, dilemma)
UndergraduateNichole_P - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2008
|Health Care; UM / Issue of Importance(personal, national, international)
4 - "Util just recently, health care had never even been an tangible option for my parents" A before a...
Undergraduatejane6272 - Dec 15, 2008 / timothyerdei - Dec 29, 2008
|essay of Virginia DId I answer the question+ grammar
3 - I make some changes to make the essay more expressive. I focus less on the story but focus more...
Undergraduatejustinwang - Dec 27, 2008 / justinwang - Dec 29, 2008
|Music is my way of life, my soul and my community. Rice... why this college?
8 - My father is an accomplished singer, cellist, piano accompanist, and choir director; while, my mother is violinist, and my...
Undergraduatepandora - Dec 25, 2008 / EF_Constance - Dec 29, 2008
|significant experience - practicing playing the piano
3 - I would add a bit more to the first paragraph. Use it as an introductory paragraph. I noticed that...
Undergraduateowen92217 - Dec 27, 2008 / EF_Constance - Dec 29, 2008
|Common App - "Childhood's just like a playground. Think about it."
Undergraduaten00bl3t - Dec 28, 2008 / n00bl3t - Dec 29, 2008
|CommonApp Short Answer (Yearbook)
6 - Contents wise, should I be more creative? Should I be doing more showing than telling? Any other advice apart...
Undergraduatecyjung91 - Dec 27, 2008 / Ivy_91 - Dec 29, 2008
|THIS IS MY ESSAY FOR UIUC,I THINK IT REALLY NEED ENHANCEMENT
4 - Thank you...
Undergraduateqiuerwei - Dec 28, 2008 / qiuerwei - Dec 29, 2008
|My why essays
Undergraduategracetm - Dec 28, 2008 / gracetm - Dec 29, 2008
|NYU SUPPS: worked vacations/ family passed trait/ activity an NYU/ song/ ...
4 - The only thing I could suggest would be to focus entirely on the tennis, since you already dedicate half...
Undergraduategcueva26 - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 29, 2008
|THINK BIG; "Dr. Ben Carson, a world-renowned neurosurgeon " - Character in fiction
3 - You're getting there. Some more advice: "From that page on, I decided that for any task I have...
Undergraduatenbarley - Dec 14, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 29, 2008
|Common app, two essays on music. Which one's better?
3 - Wow! These are both really fantastic essays! If I had to choose, I would pick the first one because...
Undergraduatecoolshadow888z - Dec 28, 2008 / PoliChick - Dec 29, 2008
|Leadership for University of Bufallo
2 - You need to stop writing in abstract terms and start writing using concrete examples. There were people you idolized...
Undergraduatefelixs07 - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 29, 2008
|"Rome did not finish building in one day." - admission essay help
NEW - this is the topic: Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political,...
Undergraduatefl415 - Dec 29, 2008 / — -
|An issue of importance to and its significance (Terror strikes)
3 - I agree with Sean. Also, this topic is a bit to controversial and it might be risky talking about...
Undergraduatexyz - Dec 29, 2008 / JohnDavid - Dec 29, 2008
|Carnegie Mellon University (the reputation and economics)
Undergraduatewongxy - Dec 28, 2008 / wongxy - Dec 29, 2008
|Why Carnegie (economics essay)
9 - you are totally right. But I just wanted to focus more on me and my expeirience. But your comment...
UndergraduateVeggy - Dec 28, 2008 / Veggy - Dec 29, 2008
|Elaborate on one of your activities (sunny day)
Undergraduatebaubau - Dec 28, 2008 / baubau - Dec 29, 2008
|Common App Essay - Not specified topic yet.
6 - Wow, thanks you guys very much, I'm influenced by my Vietnamese writing style too much, that's why there are...
Undergraduatekofpower2411 - Dec 28, 2008 / kofpower2411 - Dec 29, 2008
|Common App Essay - she became my "Best Buddy"
2 - Overall a strong essay. A couple of minor grammatical points: "even as a member of an organization that...
UndergraduateKaytee17 - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 28, 2008
|why swarthmore essay- Quaker backgroung
Undergraduatedebaterchick09 - Dec 28, 2008 / debaterchick09 - Dec 28, 2008
|why rice social science? eh it seems too typical...
5 - great advice! I will definitely change it so i can show more passion! thanks cm22 and I hope we...
Undergraduatedebaterchick09 - Dec 28, 2008 / debaterchick09 - Dec 28, 2008
|A paragraph from cornell essay (the Cornell Engineering homepage)
Undergraduatechuliuxiang - Dec 28, 2008 / HiroShima11 - Dec 28, 2008
|Elaborate on one of your activities (a manager of a restaurant)
Undergraduatevk123 - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 28, 2008
|MACAULAY ESSAY - a dish that holds a strong associative power for you
Undergraduatesamosa - Dec 28, 2008 / samosa - Dec 28, 2008
|Village Records/ better to give than to receive/I went to Nashville; 3 NYU Short Answers
4 - I would join Village Records, but I would attempt to make changes and propose new ideas to the students...
Undergraduatepencil - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 28, 2008
|Personal Statement, (lunch, active in sports)
Undergraduatedsacks - Dec 28, 2008 / dsacks - Dec 28, 2008
|Upenn "Your interest..." (business)
4 - The University of Pennsylvania is not a public school, it's a private school, so the basis of your...
Undergraduateserendipity123 - Dec 28, 2008 / LW Trojan - Dec 28, 2008
|Common App essay: Performing
2 - Droplets of sweat are forming on my face, and I can feel the blood rushing through my veins. ...
Undergraduatealightinapark - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 28, 2008
|Davidson Peer Recommendation
5 - Even with piano lessons, workout classes, organizing and participating in functions as president of the Anchor Club, and tutoring...
Undergraduaterandomzm - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 28, 2008
|'journalism student found me' - this to 150 words----Greatest Accomplishment
5 - You could take out or greatly condense the following to sentences: Later, a journalism student found me and asked...
Undergraduatebhangra369 - Dec 27, 2008 / abcdefg - Dec 28, 2008
|Supplement Essay- more about myself (music)
Undergraduatecutiep0chacc0 - Dec 27, 2008 / cutiep0chacc0 - Dec 28, 2008
|An Iffy Topic (the true art of music)
4 - I observed hundreds of musicians who lined the stage in preparation for the ninety-minute performance of Gustav Mahler's Second...
UndergraduateRachovsky - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 28, 2008
|MIT short answer-feedback? opinions?
2 - Environmental Engineering is to me the most attractive MIT program. My AP Environmental Science teacher has revealed to...
UndergraduateNotAnHero - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 28, 2008
|unc long essay (my math teacher)
Undergraduateqzhang - Dec 28, 2008 / qzhang - Dec 28, 2008
|UPenn: A Bold Choice (Why UPenn?)
5 - well, it doesn't have to be kevin to correct this, does he? you know that he's very busy, every...
Undergraduaterandomzm - Dec 28, 2008 / Angela629 - Dec 28, 2008
|'Languages and my way to America' - CommonApp essay - my life of diversity
Undergraduateabcdefg - Dec 27, 2008 / abcdefg - Dec 28, 2008
|NYU short answers (family trait, NYU activity, talent show, NYU program)
UndergraduateVeggy - Dec 28, 2008 / Angela629 - Dec 28, 2008
|Motivated you to apply to Rice? Wonderful psychology program that fits my type of learning
Undergraduatedebaterchick09 - Dec 26, 2008 / debaterchick09 - Dec 28, 2008
|northwestern statement- quench thirst!
3 - Ef_Kevin: Thank you so much! You have helped me alot. Anyone else want to give me their input? Any...
Undergraduatedebaterchick09 - Dec 27, 2008 / debaterchick09 - Dec 28, 2008
|Common app Activities short essay - the International Congress on AIDS
8 - This is amazing! ...But the word limit will be a problem because colleges will feel that you cannot follow...
UndergraduateARodz19 - Dec 26, 2008 / angel101 - Dec 28, 2008
|UPenn- Describe the courses of study and the unique characteristics
3 - What makes the Wharton School special, is how the undergraduate program combines liberal arts with business, and theory with...
UndergraduateJustGlaze - Dec 27, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 28, 2008
|Need some reviews on short essay from Stanford University.
4 - Thanks a lot you guys! @Kevin Could you help me break the sentence that you said would look more...
Undergraduateavneeeet - Dec 27, 2008 / avneeeet - Dec 28, 2008
|MACAULAY (It is now 2013.)
Undergraduatesamosa - Dec 27, 2008 / samosa - Dec 28, 2008
|Common app Essay: No Need for a Cure
Undergraduateyfung91 - Dec 26, 2008 / yfung91 - Dec 28, 2008
|'Summers with senior citizens' - common app short essay - volunteering
Undergraduatecaliforniagirl - Oct 8, 2008 / joseph0807 - Dec 28, 2008
|NYU talent show song short answer
Undergraduatepencil - Dec 27, 2008 / pencil - Dec 28, 2008
|My last two summers, including jobs - essay
4 - Much more commonly than experimenting on myself, however, I will read books I would usually avoid (like McCullough's John...
Undergraduaterandomzm - Dec 27, 2008 / dsacks - Dec 28, 2008
|Blindsided- "Syracuse University essay" admission essay question.
Undergraduatemustaa - Dec 15, 2008 / kimku91 - Dec 28, 2008
|I am very eager to strengthen my role as a global citizen - qualities of Northwestern
5 - Thanks Stimpsimp. I'm still open to any comments; Im planning on turning this in in like 2 days or...
UndergraduateMelafire29 - Dec 25, 2008 / Melafire29 - Dec 28, 2008
|Grinnell Supplement Essays help
6 - One of our school students went to Grinnell College few years ago. I heard him tell stories of his...
Undergraduatekimku91 - Dec 27, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 28, 2008
|short essay of Michiagan : social or cultural difference
Undergraduatejustinwang - Dec 27, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 28, 2008
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