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|Lehigh (grammar + structure)
4 - By the end of my junior year of High school when I began to research diverse universities, I found...
UndergraduateVeggy - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|Father-Daughter relationships have always been complex; Essay on my father.
7 - I think it would be a much stronger essay if you stated your perspective more expressively. Definitely, build upon...
UndergraduateWinnay - Dec 24, 2007 / yee - Dec 30, 2008
|Columbia short response (Rigorous, diversified, and accessible)
4 - Rigorous, diversified, and accessible are some of the many appealing aspects of Columbia that attract me. Looking at...
Undergraduateyasin391 - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|Personal statement; Perspective - its definition still lacked meaning. That soon changed.
4 - As we stopped at the first time at a traffic light, a young girl no more than six-years-old climbed...
UndergraduateHiroShima11 - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|Personal essay for Common App ("how I felt when I first came to Canada")
3 - I have no friends because other students think I am strange, I have no one to turn to because...
UndergraduateIvy1991 - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|Swarthmore Essay... good or bad Idea? too cliche?
2 - The fact that you've ellipsed out so much makes it difficult to critique the essay, but overall you seem...
UndergraduateCloudydream - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 30, 2008
|We live in a world of obstacles. ;Personal Statement, Innovation
4 - During my sophomore year, I was posed with a problem. From the beginning, my work has captivated me....
Undergraduatedsacks - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|'Biotechnology and engineering homework' - what makes stanford a good place
6 - Stanford University and I are so compatible that if the admission process was a dating show, we would end...
Undergraduatembhaire - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|U of I (Academic goals relate to professional goals)
4 - You're quite welcome. Sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind. Keep working on your essay, and I'm...
Undergraduate09johnsont - Dec 30, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 30, 2008
|'Stubborn Taurus' - intellectually engaging: my organization revise
3 - I'd been in a few classes with him during freshman year , but when sophomore year rolled around he...
Undergraduatembhaire - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|NYU supplement Why this college?!
5 - I think it might sound better to change that last sentence to The unique opportunity to gain first...
UndergraduateLimon1909 - Dec 29, 2008 / JSnyder726 - Dec 30, 2008
|issue of importance (Multiple sclerosis)-needs editting and some points
2 - You talk a lot about the various misconceptions your cousin's wife's relatives had about the disease, without telling the...
Undergraduatexyz - Dec 30, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 30, 2008
|New York State Bar Associations' Mock Trial ; NYU Short Answers
UndergraduateJohnDavid - Dec 29, 2008 / Linnus - Dec 30, 2008
|How is my intro (aspects about GW)?
3 - Ever since I was a childlittle, when I was full of curiosity and have always asked many questions about...
UndergraduateVeggy - Dec 30, 2008 / JohnDavid - Dec 30, 2008
|Elaborate on one of your activities (my new school Southwestern Academy)
Undergraduatedrenusham - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|NYU additional one: how I spent my recent summer (in South Korea)
5 - He passed away suddenly, from a car accident, a month after we came back to Georgia. The summer...
Undergraduateskim - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|Short Response for University of Michigan - any feedbacks are welcomed
3 - However embarrassed I am to admit it, it's never easy for me to accommodate to American culture. Being born...
Undergraduatesenjenz - Dec 29, 2008 / 09johnsont - Dec 30, 2008
|Essay word limit tip for students
9 - oh gosh its 1000 characters?? mine's 1005! argh. >< gotta get cutting then i guess... thanks for the heads...
Undergraduatezowzow - Dec 27, 2008 / priscileung - Dec 30, 2008
|Supplement for Common App (Boston University is the door)
3 - Ever since I first discovered the existence of Boston University, I knew it was the school for me. ...
Undergraduatenunya415 - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|Pitzer Supplement-I want to change the world!
12 - thank you!...
Undergraduateyee - Dec 24, 2008 / yee - Dec 30, 2008
|Rice Architecture Supplement - enjoy most outside of academics
Undergraduatepriscileung - Dec 27, 2008 / priscileung - Dec 30, 2008
|EMORY why essay, thanks a lot for your comments!
6 - Yeah. cm22, I checked through and there's nothing about word limit. I was worried cause mine is not that...
Undergraduatecm22 - Dec 28, 2008 / skim - Dec 30, 2008
|Contribute to life at Rice
4 - We had the honor of getting the opportunity to give a presentation on electromagnetic induction to our A Level...
UndergraduateKobe24 - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008
|What is Brown University, I feel my essay is the worst..
Undergraduatepandora - Dec 29, 2008 / pandora - Dec 29, 2008
|Syracuse Supplement (aspirations + work experience)
Undergraduatefelixs07 - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2008
|My Seventh Continent. Commonapp essay showing that I am suicidal?
Undergraduatejeziker - Dec 28, 2008 / jeziker - Dec 29, 2008
|'expressions and gestures' - Common Short Answer (extracurricular act.)
4 - I watched her facial expressions and gestures as she lifted her arms and communicated with me through her hands....
Undergraduateichid99 - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2008
|Bucknell Supp - three most important things your future classmates and faculty should know about you
Undergraduatebaubau - Dec 29, 2008 / mbhaire - Dec 29, 2008
|'I re-focused' - Stanford Short Essay #1 ( a sense of intellectual vitality)
UndergraduateIvy_91 - Dec 23, 2008 / Red3 - Dec 29, 2008
|'Efficient solar cell' - Common App (Work Experience, the Carnegie Project)
10 - Thanks everyone!...
Undergraduatedsacks - Dec 29, 2008 / dsacks - Dec 29, 2008
|College of Agriculture and Life Sciences -Cornell CALS (I have been rather fortunate)
Undergraduateshadiali - Dec 27, 2008 / shadiali - Dec 29, 2008
|Essay on an influential person - how to make this essay better?
NEW - Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence. I can still...
Undergraduatecwplsh - Dec 29, 2008 / — -
|Brown short answers (Asian culture)
Undergraduatekim1234 - Dec 28, 2008 / kim1234 - Dec 29, 2008
|There are many reasons for me to choose Rice University... How is my "why Rice" essay?
UndergraduateKobe24 - Dec 20, 2008 / joke0611 - Dec 29, 2008
|'the person I envisioned' - UT Austin-Someone who has impacted your life.
3 - Thank you for your suggestions! =) Do you think you can take a look at my second essay? Thanks...
UndergraduateSimiopolis - Dec 25, 2008 / Simiopolis - Dec 29, 2008
|My Common App Essay - Diversity, the suburbs of Buffalo
NEW - Growing up as a middle class male in the suburbs of Buffalo, there was often a lack of diversity...
Undergraduatemojojojo - Dec 29, 2008 / — -
|'Students stretching limits' - UPenn Professor Short Essay
5 - I think think essay is very solid. Just one point. Such teachers are also very approachable, which I...
UndergraduateIvy_91 - Dec 29, 2008 / Joanne_an - Dec 29, 2008
|UPenn Undergrad Supp Essay (Why Wharton is right for me)
UndergraduateIvy1991 - Dec 29, 2008 / Ivy1991 - Dec 29, 2008
|A paragraph from my Northwestern essay too wordy? HELP
5 - It was difficult to tear myself away from these fantastic stories of reality, but, as I continued to click...
Undergraduatechuliuxiang - Dec 27, 2008 / EF_Constance - Dec 29, 2008
|UIUC Essay #2: Being a chief designer......
2 - I always wanted to become a designer because I thought designers have such freedom on their canvas without any...
Undergraduatelast_min_girl - Dec 27, 2008 / EF_Constance - Dec 29, 2008
|'I am an independent girl' - Rice why essay & why social science school
4 - I am an applicant with a genuine interest in the fundamental social sciences: Policy Studies and Economics; therefore, the...
Undergraduatecm22 - Dec 27, 2008 / EF_Constance - Dec 29, 2008
|commonapp essay: the park has become my personal therapist
Undergraduateodangletsbang - Dec 28, 2008 / odangletsbang - Dec 29, 2008
|i wrote a Carnegie Mellon undergrad admit Essay...Chemical Engineer.
3 - hey thanks Kevin...i had a rough draft before this which was ugly..i tried improving the paragraphs to the best...
Undergraduateredevil147 - Dec 24, 2008 / redevil147 - Dec 29, 2008
|CORNELL SUPPLEMENTAL ESSAY (an interest in the sciences through my courses and activities)
3 - My passion for biology began when I took AP Biology. I found biology to be engaging, because of its...
Undergraduateaj7514 - Dec 28, 2008 / aj7514 - Dec 29, 2008
|NU statement (Center for Student Involvement)
5 - EF_Kevin, thanks, I will defiantly check it out. I just wonder if anyone could edit my short answers....
Undergraduatejenny08066 - Dec 28, 2008 / JohnDavid - Dec 29, 2008
|NYU application short answers (cutting the things I wrote down)
7 - Thank you so much Mr.Kevin! :) I was worried about the second one you corrected. Glad I finally...
Undergraduateskim - Dec 28, 2008 / skim - Dec 29, 2008
|Why Columbia? (the amazing research facilities)
Undergraduatedsacks - Dec 28, 2008 / dsacks - Dec 29, 2008
|Need help with one of the Stanford's prompts?
4 - Thanks for the response. And can anyone tell me how to remove or delete this thread, because all...
Undergraduateavneeeet - Dec 28, 2008 / avneeeet - Dec 29, 2008
|'Internship participation' - NYU short answer: Why did you chose this school?
11 - Yeah I agree with Zowzow about the second sentence. It is too long I think. "Gallatin will allow me...
Undergraduatepencil - Dec 28, 2008 / skim - Dec 29, 2008
|BU supplement essays (engineering and BU)
Undergraduatesean1991 - Dec 27, 2008 / sean1991 - Dec 29, 2008
|Common app short answer - Fiber optics (150 words)
5 - Start with an intro sentence that captures the central truth of the essay. Three-dimensional vision has been used to...
Undergraduateabcdefg - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2008
|NJIT essay - evaluate and edit if needed! 'application and integration of technology in most fields'
2 - This is a good essay (just needs some grammatical tweaking), but I'm not sure if it really answers the...
Undergraduatekeyurjain21 - Dec 29, 2008 / mbhaire - Dec 29, 2008
|NYU 4 Short Answers (family, life at NYU, talent show...)
3 - Maybe Christine is right to suggest cutting this part, but if it is important to you to keep it,...
UndergraduateLimon1909 - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2008
|University of Illlinois (academic interests vs professional goals)
4 - Yes, right on! Sean was probably looking at your thread title: (i.e. academic interests vs professional goals) IT...
Undergraduatemustaa - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2008
|NYU Short Answers--(singing, bicycle, summer vacation)
5 - Molly and Christine, please check out the contributor page (link at the bottom of the screen), because you could...
Undergraduatemgbinger - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2008
|common app short answer ("the smallest player on the court")
4 - Standing one inch short of five feet, and always the smallest player on the court, the odds have always...
Undergraduateuhlyssuh - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2008
|most appealing about Columbia (afraid it Doesnt make sense...)
6 - My generation needs to face the fact that the job market is increasingly competitive due to the economic crisis....
Undergraduateyfung91 - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2008
|Rochester supplement (different points of view)
4 - For any foreign students coming to the United States, it is difficult to adapt to the new environment. I...
UndergraduateVeggy - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2008
|Duke Application Essay (risk, dilemma)
UndergraduateNichole_P - Dec 28, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2008
|Health Care; UM / Issue of Importance(personal, national, international)
4 - "Util just recently, health care had never even been an tangible option for my parents" A before a...
Undergraduatejane6272 - Dec 15, 2008 / timothyerdei - Dec 29, 2008
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