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Writing admission and application essays for graduate school (page 3)

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Personal Statement - Oxford MSc Tropical Disease and International Health

3 - The opening line in a personal statement is very critical. It should be eye catching and provides a grimpse...

GraduateMatt1313 - Nov 26, 2022 / Ruth23 - Dec 15, 2022
Food distribution. Personal Statement; Master of Supply Chain Management for University of Melbourne

2 - Consider revising the content of the essay to reflect upon how supply chain management affects you on a personal...

Graduatetoledoylopez - Dec 14, 2022 / Holt - Dec 14, 2022
Statement of Purpose - MSc Computer Engineering - UT Austin - why graduation in Computer Science?

3 - I can't find out the specific answer to why you choose this school, why you choose computer science and...

Graduatelgecko - Dec 9, 2022 / txmdd - Dec 13, 2022
SOP for pursuing a Master's in electrical and computer engineering; I am applying to EPFL

3 - Hi @Holt is there anyway I can email you my updated statement personally? If you wish to use my...

Graduateelanour65 - Dec 10, 2022 / elanour65 - Dec 13, 2022
Essay on what you are most passionate about and skills and achievement to support this

2 - The lack of evidence to back up there claims are what makes this response lackluster in presentation. The sense...

GraduateAlex_Tan - Dec 12, 2022 / Holt - Dec 13, 2022
Statement of purpose for electrical and electronics masters at EPFL

2 - The first seven paragraphs should not exist in its current form. It comprises more than 75% of the essay...

Graduatesdjfhjh23r - Dec 10, 2022 / Holt - Dec 11, 2022
Masters in mathematical engineering

2 - This essay does not respond in the least bit the given writing instructions. While this is a good personal...

Graduatewhynotme23 - Dec 8, 2022 / Holt - Dec 9, 2022
Fascination with robotics. Statement of purpose ---- Masters in Robotics and Autonomous Systems

2 - The writer has not managed to write a statement of purpose. However, he did write a comprehensive academic and...

Graduatehighjack1311 - Dec 8, 2022 / Holt - Dec 9, 2022
My statement of purpose for Msc Finance at LSE

2 - The first thing the writer has to do is edit the statement in relation to the word count. A...

Graduatesagebison - Nov 30, 2022 / Holt - Nov 30, 2022
The art of storytelling - Texas MSBA essay prompt

3 - Hi @Holt, Thanks for your prompt assistance! The feedback seems valid now that I re-look at the essay with...

Graduatepriteshsingh19 - Nov 29, 2022 / priteshsingh19 - Nov 29, 2022
SOP for Msc. in computational science and engineering - objectives to reach through studies at EPFL

2 - Revise the presentation to be more purpose targeted rather than academically focused. When writing a statement of purpose, it...

Graduateleodanbrock - Nov 23, 2022 / Holt - Nov 24, 2022
Master of computer science - EPFL SOP; the objectives you wish to reach through your studies

2 - The academic background goes too much into the youth of the applicant. Start the academic background from college when...

Graduatebestlife - Nov 21, 2022 / Holt - Nov 22, 2022
Embedded Systems. Statement of Purpose for EMECS Erusmus Mundus Scholarship Program

2 - I do not really see 2 related purposes in this presentation. As a reviewer, I will look for professional...

GraduateTajbid13 - Nov 20, 2022 / Holt - Nov 21, 2022
Signal Processing and communication networks - my grad school essay

2 - The word count for a grad school essay is often dictated by the writing instructions of the university. Their...

Graduatetayoo - Nov 18, 2022 / Holt - Nov 18, 2022
Professional, cultural experiences, career goals, Information systems

2 - It was Sonali Bendre Behl who just yesterday, in her Instagram account mentioned how children from India are strongly...

GraduateAsmodeus4 - Nov 17, 2022 / Holt - Nov 17, 2022
Statement of Purpose (University of Arizona). Interested in research on industrial waste recycling

2 - The statement lacks a true purpose for being. Sure it responds to the academic and skills development in great...

GraduateAlao0702 - Nov 14, 2022 / Holt - Nov 15, 2022
GKS-G 2023 PERSONAL STATEMENT -The first time I knew I was meant to be a dentist-

4 - The essay is super long for that kind of personal statement. It is too wordy which makes the reader...

Graduateyaz010997111296 - Nov 10, 2022 / bunikjun - Nov 11, 2022
Statement of Purpose for a Masters in Compuer Science / Data Science ETH Zurich

2 - The student has written an effective personal statement, which disqualifies this paper as a statement of purpose. It is...

GraduateBiiigie - Nov 6, 2022 / Holt - Nov 7, 2022
Statament of Purpose for Phd Sport Pedagogy

2 - The statement of purpose must focus on discussing how the undergrad thesis set the tone for the college thesis,...

Graduatealtaufik - Oct 19, 2022 / Holt - Oct 20, 2022
PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR A PHD PROGRAM (BIOLOGY) IN UNIVERSITY OF UTAH

2 - As far as a personal statement goes, this essay does its best to portray the Phd applicant in the...

GraduateTaylor X - Oct 4, 2022 / Holt - Oct 5, 2022
Personal Statement for Masters Application - TU Munich

2 - I see the first 2 paragraphs as throw aways that spend too much time on an unnecessary backstory when...

Graduateedutta1999 - Sep 26, 2022 / Holt - Sep 27, 2022
Statement of Purpose - Master's in Cognitive and Decision Sciences, UCL, UK

2 - Remove the first paragraph. The mention of Netflix made the professional application amateurish and worthy only of an undergraduate...

Graduateclawdiia - Sep 21, 2022 / Holt - Sep 22, 2022
Personal Statement for Graduate Enrollment (Astronomy Major)

2 - You are asking me to do the impossible here. I need to know what the writing instructions are for...

Graduategoldeniseu - Sep 1, 2022 / Holt - Sep 1, 2022
Monash University Business Information Systems MSC-Scholarship Personal Statement

3 - @alex2022 Sorry not including the outlines. Scholarships are awarded to highly ranked students who can demonstrate their potential to...

Graduatealex2022 - Aug 27, 2022 / alex2022 - Aug 29, 2022
What makes me a great fit for Universität Bremen? Statement of Purpose; Masters in Space Engineerin

3 - @Holt thanks for your suggestions. I'll re write and post my essay ahain...

GraduatearchUser - Aug 20, 2022 / archUser - Aug 28, 2022
SOP for PhD in Computer Engineering - Professor has already onboarded me after conducting interview

2 - Unless the university does not allow the student applicant to mention that he has already been onboarded by a...

Graduatekeshavchaurasia - Aug 25, 2022 / Holt - Aug 25, 2022
Statement of purpose for Masters degree in Sustainability - University of Southampton

3 - Okay thank you @holt I'll revise it now...

GraduateBandirao - Aug 21, 2022 / Bandirao - Aug 22, 2022
How to write an essay when switching majors from under graduation (Electronics) to Masters (CS)

2 - If the writer never performed any jobs outside of the computer software or computer science field, then he is...

Graduatesirish_rajuri - Aug 15, 2022 / Holt - Aug 15, 2022
Statement of Purpose for a Software Engineering Graduate Program.

2 - Remember that this is a statement of purpose for someone who is switching careers. The applicant is going from...

GraduateNEO6754 - Aug 13, 2022 / Holt - Aug 14, 2022
METAL/COVALENT-ORGANIC FRAMEWORKS FOR ELECTROCHEMICAL ENERGY STORAGE APPLICATIONS

3 - Your response is appreciated. This is a letter of motivation for a PhD application in chemistry.....

GraduateYemmy82 - Aug 10, 2022 / Yemmy82 - Aug 11, 2022
Essay for Graduate Certificate IT Project Management in Seneca College Canada with bad acads

3 - @Holt This is a statement of purpose. It was not mandatory but I want to go on and submit...

Graduaterevanth - Aug 4, 2022 / revanth - Aug 5, 2022
Statement of Purpose to apply for plant breeding

3 - @Holt Thank you....

Graduatemaxpop83 - Jul 20, 2022 / maxpop83 - Jul 20, 2022
Personal Statement - Master of Supply Chain Management for University of Melbourne

3 - @Holt Thanks a lot for the highlights. I got clear points on how I should improve this....

Graduaterasiana - Jul 6, 2022 / rasiana - Jul 8, 2022
SOP in artificial intelligence, applying to COMMAS, Germany

2 - The essay is not as rounded as it is required to be. The focus of this paper is only...

GraduateHel_ppp87 - Jul 3, 2022 / Holt - Jul 4, 2022
Describe three things others do not know about you

3 - @Holt Thank you for the feedback! This is an application essay. The first point was mainly about hobby of...

Graduatefinik - May 28, 2022 / finik - May 28, 2022
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE IN ACCOUNTING - admission at Jiangsu University

2 - The statement is quite long and chatty. It provides more generalizations rather than specifics. The reviewer will be most...

GraduateEben45 - May 25, 2022 / Holt - May 26, 2022
Statement of Purpose - Masters in Renewable energy

2 - The writer has provided a motivational letter rather than a statement of purpose. These 2 are often interchanged by...

Graduateeas333 - May 21, 2022 / Holt - May 21, 2022
Latest career-related goals and study area for the scholarship

2 - Open with an impressive statement about the state of urban housing and development in your country. Focus on explaining...

GraduatePyangon - Apr 26, 2022 / Holt - Apr 26, 2022
Personal Statement - Applied Computer Science at University of Gottingen (300 word limit)

2 - The reference to "an early age" could mean anytime from birth to puberty. It is a misleading term that...

Graduateanakin487514 - Apr 7, 2022 / Holt - Apr 8, 2022
SoP MSc Finance & Private Equity core module at the London School of Economics and Political Science

3 - @Holt Thank you for your feedback. I am not sure how to approach a concise 4 paragraph SOP. In...

Graduateismafeed - Apr 3, 2022 / ismafeed - Apr 4, 2022
Personal Statement for MSc. Internet of Things and Data Analytics

2 - Remove certain aspects of this presentation that are misplaced. Information about work experience, among others, should be discussed in...

GraduateKellsnotnice - Mar 30, 2022 / Holt - Mar 31, 2022
Software Engineering - statement of purpose

2 - While the program does not require work experience, some sort of related training or internship experience would help the...

Graduateabc_123 - Mar 28, 2022 / Holt - Mar 28, 2022
Statement of purpose - I'm applying for master's in health informatics.

3 - @Holt Thanks for your feedback.. I really appreciate. I will look into your advice. Though, I will need your...

GraduateMoss95 - Mar 26, 2022 / Moss95 - Mar 27, 2022
AAS Question About Human Resoursces needs

4 - Hai, I think it will be better to just directly state 'yes i will/not' in the first sentence of...

Graduatenurfaqihmuh - Mar 14, 2022 / lemonade97 - Mar 18, 2022
Motivation Letter - Erasmus Mundus Joint Masters Degree - Master in Medical Imaging and Applications

2 - I can understand how, based on the application requirements, you will believe that you are highly qualified as an...

GraduateA_yousuf98 - Mar 6, 2022 / Holt - Mar 7, 2022
Eager to learn more - GKS Personal Statement

2 - Sadly, the given personal statement does not meet the masters degree requirements for the application. This type of statement...

Graduatedpatld - Mar 6, 2022 / Holt - Mar 6, 2022
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE FOR MSC IN PROCESS SYSTEMS DESIGN AND ENGINEERING

2 - Paragraphs 3,4,5, are the only usable paragraphs for a masters sop in this presentation. The revised version must focus...

Graduateronajiri - Mar 1, 2022 / Holt - Mar 2, 2022
Global negotiation, business - goal of study and study plan for Korean university application

2 - The lack of proper gramamr usage on the part of the writer tends to create a confusing thesis presentation....

Graduatemnbvcxz0303 - Feb 20, 2022 / Holt - Feb 21, 2022
Personal Statement for Rutgers University M.S. in Rehabilitation Counseling

2 - Based on the opening statement, you have provided the reasons why your interest in Rehab Counseling has grown into...

Graduaterachelying - Feb 13, 2022 / Holt - Feb 14, 2022
Management and leadership - PERSONAL STATEMENT GKS GRADUATE - MBA

6 - Thank you @nitakajole I appreciate your feedback. @beestory thank you so much for your advices . I wish...

GraduateHiba21 - Jan 31, 2022 / Hiba21 - Feb 13, 2022
International Relations_Personal Statement_GKS_GRADUATE

2 - This is an interesting personal statement but, it does not reflect the total personal statement considerations for the GKS...

Graduatesolmartinez - Feb 5, 2022 / Holt - Feb 5, 2022
Essay to apply at University College Dublin for MSc Course

3 - @Holt Hey. Thank you for your feedbacks. I needed more clarity to what you mentioned. Do you want...

Graduatesanghaisahil3 - Jan 27, 2022 / sanghaisahil3 - Jan 27, 2022
Subject Objective Aminef, Teaching English and Other Languages

2 - There is actually nothing unique about the subject objective of the applicant. The motivation (subject objective) is one among...

Graduateawenaries04 - Jan 24, 2022 / Holt - Jan 25, 2022
SOP for mathematical finance - the master's level at Universiti Teknologi Brunei (UTB)

2 - To create an effective statement of purpose, the applicant must create a convincing academic and career driven reason for...

GraduateEmmydon - Jan 20, 2022 / Holt - Jan 20, 2022
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE- MS STATISTICS FOR UNIVERSITIES IN USA

3 - @Holt I just completed by undergraduate studies and currently working as a graduate trainee so I don't have more...

GraduateXever - Jan 17, 2022 / Xever - Jan 17, 2022
Aerospace Engineering Motivation for KTH - the master's program at the University of Pisa, Italy

2 - The first paragraph is a throw away. The introduction it provides does not move the essay forward and fails...

Graduatekescienku - Jan 16, 2022 / Holt - Jan 16, 2022
SOP for SJPES program - UN's sustainable development goals

3 - @Holt Thank you so much for your review. The deadline of this program was rescheduled to 15th Feb....

Graduatehn0x - Jan 11, 2022 / hn0x - Jan 14, 2022
Development of energy-efficient devices - PTDF statement of purpose

2 - There is nothing in this essay that would be considered a response to the prompt requirements. Yes, I will...

Graduatejoshbj360 - Jan 12, 2022 / Holt - Jan 12, 2022
European Master in Public health with a specialization in Advanced Biostatistics and Epidemiology

2 - The first paragraph should be completely removed. It sounds very amateurish. Almost as if you are applying to college...

Graduatexzibit - Jan 10, 2022 / Holt - Jan 11, 2022
Motivation for science and engineering - SOP for GENIAL GrEen NetworkIng And cLoud computing program

3 - This essay is just a reflection of your experiences and lack the ability to motivate. kindly review and streamline...

Graduateadewale0630 - Jan 8, 2022 / Klexyking - Jan 8, 2022

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