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Posts by alfinkurnia
Name: Alfin Kurnia
Joined: Nov 10, 2016
Last Post: Dec 1, 2016
Threads: 33
Posts: 42  
From: indonesia
School: Universitas Padjadjaran

Displayed posts: 75 / page 1 of 2
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alfinkurnia   
Dec 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / These days, formal dress became a trend in the most of companies and institutions. [2]

Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value the quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These days, clothes formally becomes trend in most of company and institution. People who works have accustomed to wear a formal clothes. Even, numerous company and institution have rules for their workers to wear formal clothes.

As we know, when we work should be polite and wear a good clothes. It can make our appearance looking good and be able to known easily. We can envisage, if we work in restaurant or government institution but wear informal clothes, it make customers probably don't recognized us. Therefore, I think wear formal clothes is very important. Beside, if you work in agricultural company or equal like that you probably can wear informal clothes.

However, in my view that style of clothes is not effect against result of work. It can be happen because numerous big company in the world do not have rules to their employees to wear formal dress. They can wear anything but it must be polite. Particularly, the company which earns revenue from technology such as google. Their employees are allowed to wear informal clothes, because main point of company is make their employees more creative. Google is one of the biggest company which prove to everyone that style when work can not disrupt the revenue, even can increase quality.

In conclusion, clothes which were someone to work do not determine quality of work, but affect to company if they work in public service. Nevertheless, if they work in company especially in agriculture or technology, they can wear informal clothes, because they do not related directly to customers and bother their quality of work.
alfinkurnia   
Dec 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task I about the factors which influence the happiness of spouses [3]

Hello Dioba,
We met again, this is my advice for you

A breakdown of information about the outcome ... >> You can change with this sentence (The graph illustrates stage of rate happiness people who decides married and unmarried, and stage of happy couple who has children below 18, above 18, and no children )

Please make sure your writing at least 150 words, there are many grammatical error in your sentence.
and the last, you using repetitive words, you can paraphrase with other words with same meaning.


Thanks
alfinkurnia   
Dec 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / 'workers should be use tidy dress' - essay about dress smartly and performance [2]

Hello Dioba,
This is my advice for you, hope it can help you. feel free to correction me too.

Nowadays, certain companies argue ...>> Alter nowadays with These days (more academic), first you can add this sentence before(These days, clothes formally becomes trend in most of company and institution )

when you write please caution your ideas, you must follow instruction of question.
and don't forget to write at least 250 words

All in all, the occupants is one ... ?? All in all? you can change with finally or however is better I think
alfinkurnia   
Nov 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / Most of adolescent decide to work than continued their study to university - Exercise Writing task 2 [2]

These days, most of adolescent decides to work than continued their study to university. It has occured since a few years ago. They thought when they work will get numerous benefits. In fact, recently a institution which usually survey about that launched a new result that 30 percent student choosed to work after graduated from senior high school.

As we know, when someone decides to work. It has many effect for him, positive or even negative effect. Many benefits for people who work after graduated are they will get more experience and knowledge to work with other people. Then, they earns more money and can help their family. They can increase financial of their family. Furthermore, they will have networking with important person who help him in the future. The last, they obtain excellent skill because the company usually educated them with skill which company need.

However, when adolescent get work and do not continue their study, it can affect to them. There are many disadvantage such as, after they resign and want to continue their education, the university probably reject them because their old are not appropiate to study. And if they can be accepted, they will confuse to follow the class. It can be happen because they accustomed to work and have not knowledge regarding academic. They have lack of ability to solve question of math where they might understand before work.

In conclusion, I think study and work are equal essensial. Although there are numerous advantage and disadvantage where depends someone to choose that.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / Positive consequences and drawbacks of working before going to University [3]

Hello Abraham

I think your essay is good, I will help you answer the question.

My correction for you: when you write in writing task 2, you must caution the topic and coherence your answer. and don't forget your grammar must be repaired, there are many errors grammatical in your sentence.

In my opinion someone if he want to become success must finished his education before to work. because in this world many bad people who can drop and deceive you, if you don't have knowledge. you will failed to become sucess. And I suggest you don't forget to study hard and pray. I recommendation movie, you must watch 3 idiots (indian movie). That movie about someone who study hard and he can become sucess without certificate of study. because the intellegence of human divided 3 type, IQ EQ SQ. if you just have IQ and don't have EQ and SQ, probably your probabilty to sucess is lower than people have all of them. In conclusion, if you want to sucess is better you prepare your study before work, because you need knowledge to leader the world.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / The position of a wind turbine is determining the amount of electricity produced. [2]

The pictures show a wind turbine and it is optimal location to generate electricity from wind. The most significant facts to emerge from the diagram are that there has same parts when built in sea or land.

As can be clearly seen, a wind turbine consist of high steel tower where all another parts are installed on it. Another parts are blades which made by fibre glass, and even wood. After that, wind sensor which measure speed and direction from wind. Then, generate which has output until 1,5 megawatts. All of information from wind sensor are send to computer where it will arrange or adjust blades according data from wind sensor.

Furthermore, position of turbine is determine amount of electricity produced. Hence, wind on and is more strenght than on sea. Domestic turbine on sea also has only 100 kilowatts where a wind turbine on sea spoil landscape. So from picture we know the optimum location is on the land.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Many parents choose to teach their children at home since they think it helps in their growing time [4]

Hello nuraini

I have read your essay fully and i come up with several suggestions that i hope you should take into consideration.

if you want to get band 7 or more your essays don't forget this:
you must using more complex sentence structure, more complex vocabulary, more complex grammatical use and variation , and the last don't forget you must write at least 250 words

alfinkurnia   
Nov 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / (Summary article) Moana made an estimated $81.1 million during the five-day holiday tally [2]

During 5 days Moana, movies from Disney which estimated get revenue approximately $81.1 million. In other country, Moana earns $16.3 million particularly China, where it earns $12.3 million for the weekend. Its global cumulative stands at an estimated $97.4 million. In second place is Harry Potter: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, from Warner Bros company which has revenue estimated $45.1 million.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / I would argue that teaching children at home can help children to resolve their problem swiftly [3]

Hello I have been finished read your essay this is my opinion for your writing.

first, you must remember in part one you should write at least 150 until 165 words.
second, you must using various sentence or words, and attention your grammar and speeling.
overall must put in introduce, don' input number in first paragraph.

Secondly, you have to focus on how to develop the idea coherently, i mean here is the way you arrange the structures of your sentences are not looked like academic-written style. This is due to the fact that you did not put order to your sentence. The first body paragraph is the perfect example for this, it is far better if you explain the idea of academic pressure in the first, the followed by second, and third to simplify that you really arrange your sentence orderly.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The graph illustrates some life's trouble after people decision to move abroad. English studio task [2]

The graph illustrates about life's trouble when people decide to go abroad. From that graph as we know all people have equal trouble, consist of education, healthcare, and economy. Overall, the lowest problem for people when live in other country is finding education institution for their children.

As can be clearly seen, people who sorting out finance when 18 to 34 years old is highest at approximately 33 percent. In contrast, between people who have old 35 until 54 and over 55 is sorting out healthcare.

Aged of people who find school for children are increase extremely from 6 percent in 18-34 years old to 18 percent in 35-54 percent, and after that fell rapidly in over 55 years old by 15 percent. The percentage of sorting out healthcare become the highest in people who have old 35-54.

From that figure we know that people who have more problems when 35 until 54 years old. Moreover, they has the highest percent in all problems.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task I about people living in the overseas [3]

Hello dioba this is my correction for you.

A breakdown of information about several trouble ... >> I think is better if you using this sentence (The graph shows information about several trouble are faced by people living in overseas is shown in the bar chart and is measured in percent)

When you write in task 1, ensure you just write at least 150-165 words, if you write more words is probably decrease your band, because it can cause the wrong sentence and wasting your time.

Please using various words, don't repeat your words, it can reduce your band. thankyou
alfinkurnia   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Most of children in elementary school have a dangerous habit of overusing their handphone [2]

Question

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problems.
To what extend do you agree with this statement?

Answer
Nowadays, most of children in elementary school have a habit like always uses handphone. Even, almost every parents gives handphone to their son. Numerous children use their handphone for bad activity such as watch and save pornograph in their handphone. In fact, 70 percent children have been watched or seen pornograph since elementary school. In my view, it's tremendous dangerous because according research that pornograph can ruin the brain human and can alter habits after see it. Therefore, education institution and parents must role for solve this problem.

Firstly, Education regarding pornograph must start from family. Parents must tell to their children about pornograph can harm them. Furthermore, they also must prevent with no let their children alone when use handphone and better if parents only allow their children play with handphone in weekend and always remain to accompany their children.

Secondly, school also support their student when at school. However, when children are studying in school, teacher has responsibility to avoid their student from bad affect particularly pornograph. One of solution they can repeatly give them knowledge about pornograph and sex education. It's very important, hence most of children have curiousity about everything. So education institution also must together with parents solve this problem.

Thirdly, society also give bad affect for children. When they has bad friends, probably they wiill follow their friends. They will influenced easily. In contrast, when they have many good friends, it can make them follow they friend's habit. Because that society also determine ways of life to children.

In conclusion, I agree education institution and parents are essensial to solve this problem. They must need to solve this problem together.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Eric Giller demonstrates wireless electricity [2]

Hey dioba, this is my correction for you.

In the past , Nikola Tesla discovered initial idea regarding wireless power (...) electric power wireless .

thanks
alfinkurnia   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / (Summary TED) A temporary tattoo that brings hospital care to the home [5]

Todd Coleman as Bioelectronics innovator and TED' speaker who explain about new technology which has many advantages. It just like temporary tatoo but flexible electronic health monitoring patient in everyhere. It can monitoring, human temprature, hearth rate. It can help doctor to monitoring and give suggestion to patient. This is revolutionary health care and make medicine less invasive.

Source : TED
alfinkurnia   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Recently, youth movement has developed significantly, especially throughout voluntary activities [3]

Hello Faiz, I think you writing is quite good. I will give you my correction. Feel free to correction me too.

Please attention this:
if you want to get good score in IELTS, I give you my tips for your writting.

First, conciseness minimum 8 maximum 15 words per sentence) , second is cohesion (lideas, paragraph >> plan your writing and read the question carefully) Then, Coherence >>> your ideas should be easily understood by the reader, you must grouping your data and making separate paragraph. And don't forget you must write at least 250 words, and using uncommon vocabulary, spelling and idioms.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / (summary Article) Apple Is Teasing a Black Friday Sale for the First Time in Years [3]

Last year Apple didn't proposed discount in black Friday. It just combined the iTunes gift cards with certain purchases made on the shopping holiday. Apple's latest revenues results marked the third consecutive quarter where the latest year-over-year revenue had decreased. And Eventhough Apple sold more iPhones than expected in the previous quarter, selling iPhone Decreased by 5%.

source : TIME
alfinkurnia   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Truth of Turkey and Tryptophan [9]

Hello yurike, I think your writting is very little, is dificult to correction it, I just give you better sentence, hope this can help you, and feel free to correction me too.

The turkey's meat has a bad reputation to cause people who eat sleepy .

The opposite is the tryptophan which has the function ...
alfinkurnia   
Nov 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Article Summary : 'Moana', not your typical Disney Princess [5]

Hello this is my correction for you, feel free to correction me too.

... animation studio company, releasedlaunched their newest ...

... between listening to her father andor following her heart.

My tips for you, please using grammar, preposition and conjuction carefully, and using uncommon vocabulary is better than only common vocabulary, you can find in dictionary about that.

Thankyou
alfinkurnia   
Nov 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Positive Impact on The Walking Activity [6]

Hello Yuri, it's my correction for you.

One of the daily activity of some people ...
..., and type two diabetes which the percentage are 10 percent, 6 percent, 7 percent. >> One of many daily activity of some people ...
... negative influence in healthy to someone which many ...

when you write please using a good grammar and uncommon vocabulary, and don't out of topic.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary Article World's Tallest Water Slide Will Be Torn Down After 10-Year-Old Boy's Death [6]

The world tallest water slide named Verruckt, which means "insane" in German. Recently, It was killed ten years old boy when operate, Caleb Schwab. Because that accident, the water slide probably will be closed after investigate was finish, The amusement park said that they have a plan to alter the ride with other in the future..

Source: TIME
alfinkurnia   
Nov 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / The new appearance of The Canada transition out of coal-powered electricity by 2030 [3]

Hello, this is my correction for you

Canada has a plan to reduce(...) in 2030 with acceleration from existing timetable that ...

They are two options which will give ...

you must careful from wrong grammar, and singular plural.

But, you must fulfill the address of website which you write, so I can check and give you correction about that.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Where all inventors come from? The education background is an important aspect. [2]

Hello bams, this is my correction for you, feel free to correction me too.

In the past , invention is the most important thing in the world. It's because technology ... (Go on topic, I think your writing is out of topic)

Numerous inventors tried to discover new invention ...
alfinkurnia   
Nov 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Exercise writing test 2 (Inventors are not as important to society as doctors, Agree or disagree) [6]

Writing 2

In the past, numerous inventions was discovered by inventions, because that could change the world until now. We should give many achivements to inventors, such as Thomas Alfa Edison (inventor of electric) or Steve Jobs (chairman of apple company which produced several revolutionary product). Can you envisage if they didn't discovered, probably nowadays most of people don't have handphone or computer, even electric can't used by people.

Although, doctor also essential for society, they have abilty who help someone. They treated someone for a disease. Everyone were needed a doctor especially when sick. However, inventors also have a roll to help doctor solving the problem particularly regarding health. Numerous facility, medicine, tools discovered by inventors, where doctor need it for cure someone.

In my opinion, inventors is more important than doctor. It can be occurs because nowadays most of people who sick still at home because they have medicine or tools which make them healthy. Eventough, sometimes when they still sick or have dangerous diseases, perhaps they will go to hospital, and need doctor to treat them. Because, tools and medicine from apotics not enough for several diseases.

In conclusion, inventors and doctor commonly important. They related each other. Both of them have divers ability. Doctor has ability and knowledge to treat someone who sick. On other hand, inventors has a intelligence for discover new inventions which usefull for human in the world.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / The total demand on hybrid vehicles in 2009 was twice as much as three years earlier [7]

Hello ike this is my correction for you. please give me your correction too.

The global sale of hybrid ... >> you better change this (The graph shows sale of hybrid vehicle during 4-years period between 2006 and 2009 )

... participate in this survey thatthere are Japan, US, and other

the words which you write it just below 150, you must more practice to writing. and don't forget you speeling must be right.

thanks
alfinkurnia   
Nov 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Exercise in ES; the number of hybrid vehicles sold over the 4-year timeframe from 2006 to 2009 [5]

Writing task 1 (Sorry I can't attach the picture because the question from book)

The graph ilustrates about the number of hybrid cars which sold over 4-years period from 2006 to 2009. Overall, the number of cars from Japan and other show upward trend. Whereas, cars from US increased extremely between 2006 and 2007, but after that gradual decrease until 2009.

As can be clearly seen, the highest sales of cars is 740.000 in 2009 and the smallest sales in 2006, only 360.000. cars from Japan was slight rose from aproximately 50.000 to 60.000 in 2007. Then. Increased again to 80.000 in 2008. Finally, grow up extremely in 2009 by 240.000.

The chart shows, the country whisch has the biggest total sales in 2009 was Japan, follow US in second place. Eventough, US has the highest sales between 2006 and 2008. Japan has increased extremely from 2008 to 2009, and became country which has the biggest grow up and commonly sales of hybrid cars from US and Japan.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / The pie chart depicts the main three reasons which led to the degradation of agriculture in the 90's [6]

Hello this is my correction for you, feel free to correction me too.

The pie chart shows the main three reasons: ...

this is my tips for your writing:

first, you must remember in part one you should write at least 150 until 165 words.
second, you must using various sentence or words, and attention your grammar and speeling.
overall must put in introduce, don' input number in first paragraph.

thank you, I hope it can help you.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Chris Anderson gives many formulas for all people to become a good speaker. [7]

(Summary TED) Secret to great public speaking

Chris Anderson, give many formula for all people to become a good speakers. First, communicate properly, secondly build your ideas and make your audience curiosity and guess what will you speaking next. There is no single formula for a great talk, let it flow and influence the audience. Everyone can became a good speaker if they are confident to speak.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Samsung recall again? It involves galaxy note 7 smartphone & 34 models of top-load washing machines [3]

As we know, Samsung, One of the biggest company in the world the which produced many gadgets such as mobile phones, cameras and many more. Recently, It Became trending topics Because they decided to recall galaxy note 7 Because many cases where it was exploded. It caused revenue of samsung decrease extremely. After that, in America Also occurs same problem, they give information about the recall to the wash machine Because many problems like smsung galaxy note 7. The recall involves 34 models of top-load washing machines made between March 2011 and November 2016 and costing $ 450- $ 1.500.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / The facts about the improvement in Stokeford area over eighty year period [3]

Hello I will give you my correction.

... improvement in Stokeford area during two periods. Overall, there was significant difference with some facilities ...

this is my tips for you
1. Please don't write too many words (at least 150 maximum 165) >>when you write more words it probably make your sentence wrong and reduce your score .

2. Use contractions and attention your speling
3. don't give opininan in task 1
4. Use the wrong tone (essays are always formal)

Thankyou
alfinkurnia   
Nov 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary Article - Airbnb launched new service [5]

Airbnb, the company which shook up the world particularly hotel industry because it has sophisticate apps to connecting people who want traveling to many place with people who has house or apartment for rent to them. Recently, the company introduced the new service called airbnb trips. What is that? If previous airbnb just for rent their house but now it also can make owner house became tour guide or host for client. Unfortunately, this service currently implemented only in 12 cities, but the company promised will launched until 50 cities next year.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / A huge number of areas in this world where's difficult to find water [3]

Hello

Water has becomes something that (...) in this world difficult to finding water. Development of an industry in a country is one of the causes. (This sentence is perfect you must know about that)

my tips: when you writing, you must know about grammar, and make sure your spelling is corect, donn't jump from one idea to the next topic or Go off topic, you must focus in your topic.

this is my correction for you, feel free to correction me too.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / (Summary TED Video) How play leads to great inventions [3]

Steven Johnson, TED' speakers explained about transformation of ideas became great inventions. In the past, most of inventors find a good way to making fun, one of them are discovered inventions to making satisfied for their life. For example, typewritter was invention which in started from music invention. Honestly, we should don't forget about history because from the older inventions could make someone more thought regarding next inventions.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / The comparison of electricity productions by original sources in New Zealand and Germany [2]

Hello sarlinda, I give you my correction.

Did you have know about rules of writing test 1? is better if you just write about 150-165 words, if you write more words is probably making your score down, but if you sure not wrong words is no problem. Don't forget conciseness ( aprroximately 8 until 15 words in one sentence), cohesion (ideas of paragraphs), coherence (all ideas should be easily understood by the reader), composition (use the correct essay structure attention your grammar!) thankyou.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task II IELTS : Some people perspectives about Libraries and Internet to obtain information [3]

Hello, this is my tips for your writting. feel free to correction me too

But there are several correction from me such as:
1. if you write for writing test 2 in IELTS, Maximum word you must write approximately 250-265
2. keep your idea to topic don't Jump from one idea to the next
3. Combine with paraprase word
4. is better not many Repeat words
5. using connection word
5. If you knows idioms, you must using it, it can improve your score
alfinkurnia   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / People say that you can learn more about a different place just by watching TV [2]

Question:

Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it.
How true this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.


Answer :

In the past, only certain people can journey abroad to other countries. Particularly, just rich people who have much money to spent for visited some beauty countries. As we know, there are various countries in the world and have many thews such as culture, food, languange, building, and many more. Recently, many programs on tv shows about journey to many countries in the world. The program can caused everyone imagined about circumstance of life in other country.

Therefore, journey programs nowadays became one of the most popular program on tv. It can changed perspective which making someone thought to prefer stay at home and just take information from tv or internet to know about something, like many places in outside the country and prevented curiousity to observed or learnt about culture and many things in other country.

Furthermore, in my view unfamiliar place which we dont't know before is good for visit. Because it can improved our knowledge and open our mind to the world. When we visited the new place and saw directly in there is different when we just watched that on tv. We can interacted with the local people, met many new friends and feel the atmosphere.

In conclusion, It's good for you to get much information from tv or internet about some interesting place in other countries. Eventough, perhaps you know about that, but you also to feel that directly, because is very diverse when you just see on tv than you try to visit it.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Showing TV shows in all countries - writing IELTS academic task two [6]

Hello bams, In my oppinion your writing is quite good.

But there are several correction from me such as:
1. if you write for writing test 2 in IELTS, Remember maximum word you must write approximately 250-265
2. Using contraction like don't and shouldn't
3. using connection word
4. keep you idea to topic don't Jump from one idea to the next
5. combine arguments "for" and "against" in the same paragraph
6. is better not many Repeat words
7. If you knows idioms, using it.

Thanks
alfinkurnia   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / The amount of money which was given by city council and destined for members of books club [2]

Sorry I can't show the picture, because this exercise question from book.

The graph ilustrates the amount of money has given by city council to member of books club over a four-year period. Overall, between first year and second year there was slight increase. After that, followed rose extremely in the next year. Finally, in fourth year dropped rapidly. The number of member from first year to second year fell slightly but increased gradually until fourth year.

As can be seen, The amount of money which has given from first year to second year increase by 2.500 and rose extremely from 25.000 in second year to 40.000 in third year but unfortunately fell to approximtely 35.000 in fourth year.

In comparison, the number of members between first year and second year also decrease slightly from 15.000 to about 15.000. Then, extreme rose by 10.000 in third year. In fourth year members peak at 30.000. In second year until third year, both of them were equal grown up extremely.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Exercise writing test 2 (Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job..) [4]

Question:
Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important.

Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


Answer:
Nowadays, Most of people assumed when they work or get job just purpose to get more much money. Eventhough, sometimes they work who they dislike. Moreover, to choose for job which unappropriate with their background. Particularly, they graduated from agriculture but choose works at bank which not related with their major. It caused they need money immediately.

However, pundits thought if someone works in their passion, it can make them happy and keep spirit for face their life. The advantage when someone decided to works with his passion. They will enjoy to work, for example when someone has hobby to singing, and she decided to became a singer, she probably will enjoy her job because she started her job from hobby or something who she like. Therefore, many people can more easily to be successful because they never give up and always work seriously.

From all of the advantages, there is one problem when someone keep work with not their passion, they will stressfull because many matter of their work, and more difficult to solved it. However, when people have ability with something but not follow their ability to try. It might not good for their life. So if you have dream to become someone you must believe and hardwork to achieved, because who determined your success is yourself.

In conclusion, sometimes someone need money to their live, so all job probably will accepted and forget that he has good ability in other job. In my opinion if you don't like your job, better you choose to resign and find job which suitable for you.
alfinkurnia   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / An appropriate job can affect the happiness of people, but there are many other factors too [3]

hello bams, before this I has given you my correction.

One more again please don't use more words than 265 and use simple sentences if you want a high score then don't use more 'lazy' expressions ("and so on", "etc") and you must write suitable with topic

These tips are not exhaustive but will give you some important points how to pass the IELTS Writing test with a high Band Score.

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