Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 The Problems Which People Will Get When Live Abroad [3]

The bar chart displays about the calculate proportion of the problems which people have to face when they live abroad. Overall, the group which has much more problems is the middle age group. This group has the highest percentage in all categories according to finance, healthcare, and finding schools for their children.

Looking at the details, people aged between 35 and 54 has the biggest percentage of all groups in sorting out healthcare, at 37 per cent. This group also has the highest number in sorting out finance, at 35 per cent. The form which has the most problem to find out school for their son or daughter is the middle age group.

In contrast, elderly people always has the least number of all problems besides for sorting out healthcare which has higher proportion than people aged 18-34 but less than people in the late age group. The former group has the least number to discover schools for their children about less than 5 percent.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 The Methods To Produce Energy Using Water [2]

The diagram process gives information about two different methods of producing electricity by using water as the main substance. Overall, it can be seen that both of pictures use spindle to produce electricity. However, it has different methods. First method using water to rotates the generator while air is used in the second image.

To begin with, the first picture is happened in a reservoir. The water which is gotten in to hydroelectric dam flow through a gate. After the water are flowed inside, the width and angle of penstock make the water speed up then turns the turbine and spindle. The electricity are produced from the rotates of generator then it is distributed to power lines. After that, the water is released into the river.

The second picture have two chambers, upper chamber and lower chamber. The waves enter the lower chamber then the air will rises to upper chamber and rotates generator to produce electricity.

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Writing Feedback / Is a flat is more comfortable than a house? What is better to live? IELTS2 [4]

Question : Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those who live in houses. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Right now, many people prefer to live in a high-rise apartment because they think that a flat is more comfortable than a house and have a good sense of community. Others believe that living in apartment make them feel lonely and like to live in a house. Personally, i believe that living in a house is better for people to get sense of community.

Living in a high-rise apartment means that people live in the same roof and it can increase the sense of community for the people who live in there. Many places to hang-out like lounge or gym can make people easier to find friends. Also, the occupant can follow many activities like social activity. When many participate, the energy can really make a difference to the experience of sharing life together in a community.

On the other hand, many inhabitants like to live in houses where the environment make them want to communicate with their neighbour. Most of people feel more comfortable when they can talk and visit to other houses because they are friendlier than people who live in flat. Many activities which people can participate like festival or annual event. This kind of activities make people who live in houses are know each other.

To conclude, although live in a flat have many places to meet, most of the occupant are busy people and they rarely to meet others. It is better to live in houses because the social environment feel more friendly than in flat.

Writing Feedback / Better chances to learn an another country: from television or a personal visit? [2]

Question : some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it. how true is this statement? is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you can not learn by watching programmes and films about it?

Sophisticated technology help inhabitant in many ways. For instance, people can learn about a country by watching television programmes like reality show or talk show and watching movies. They do not need to go to the country to know the culture or language. However, many people think that it is better to visit the country if people want to know about it. People will have better understanding when they feel it themselves.

By visiting a place, human can know exactly the daily life of native people. Sometimes, television programmes exaggerate the story to attract people attention and most of them finally have different story from the real life. People can also see the magical things which happens in there like culture festival or extravagant views with their own eyes.

Inhabitant can have an interactive conversation with native in that country. They can ask many things which they curious about. People can not do a conversation by watching television or movies. This kind of activities will help inhabitant to get information which they are looking for.

On the other hand, it is an easy way to understand about other countries by using modern technology. People do not need to spend much money to buy a ticket or to pay living cost and they still get all information they need.

In conclusion, by using internet people can find out about another country and only spend few money. However, it is better to visit the country than only see it from the screen because people can get more knowledge and experience.

Writing Feedback / Using human labour or an animal to collect water from the river [2]

Writing IELTS Task 1 How to Collect Water for Irrigation Process

The diagram process shows two different methods of collecting water to help irrigation process. Overall, it can be seen that the first picture using human labour and collect water from the river while the second image using an animal and the water is taken from the well.

In the first diagram, swing basket is used for collecting water and it is made from bamboo or leather. The water is taken from the river by using ropes then put it into the irrigation channel near by the field. Ropes is used because people who work have higher position than the river for about one to two meters. The irrigation channel will spread the water into the fields.

Well and ox are needed to do the second method. The depth of the well for about 50 metres and it is surrounded by brick. The ox are tied to ropes which incircuit to rollers and pulley and the water is taken by using a basket. The ox will go downhill to drag the ropes. After that, the basket will go up and the water is automatically poured to the irrigation channels which is right beside the well.

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Writing Feedback / Summary TED Try Monotasking To Be Successful In The Multitasking World [2]

Multitasking is doing many jobs in one time. For instance, people try to cook while answering phone and texting. There are only few people who can do multitasking, for about two percent of people in the world. Others will feel hard to do some different tasks in the same time and when they try to do it, the result screwed up. This is one of the reasons why Paolo Cardini ask people to try monotasking (doing one job at one time). Paolo Cardini is a designer and educator. By focusing on only one thing but resulted in a thing which has many benefits. He tried to push many people to consider about the option of focusing on just one task . There are so many mono products which has successful result so it means that people can produce their own mono product to be successful in the multitasking world.

Link : ted.com/talks/paolo_cardini_forget_multitasking_try_monotasking?language=en

Writing Feedback / Summary Article The Danger of Contact Lenses [6]

Contact lenses are very popular right now. Many people wear it because it makes their appearance more stylish and simple to use. However, there are some harmful effects of using contact lenses if people wear it in improper way. The impacts can lead to serious eye infections and long-term damage. Over the last ten years there were a report from FDA (Food and Drug Administration) if almost one in five contact lenses cause eyes infections. The newest report comes from CDC ( Centers For Disease Control and Prevention), they reported that many people get a scarred cornea so that they need a corneal transplant. "People have to wear it in a safe way and cared it by asking for a recommendation from a doctor because improper wear and care can cause eyes infections" said Michael Beach, director of CDC's Healthy Water Program. People who use contact lenses have to use fresh solution to clean the lenses and replace it often also do not use it when they go to sleep.

Link : time.com/4459189/contact-lenses-cdc-infection/

Writing Feedback / Task 2 Spent Money To Built Impressive Buildings Or Built School And Hospital? [3]

Question : some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The characteristic of big cities is the skyscraper and that is the reason why there are many high buildings in the large cities. Some people think that have many tall buildings are more important than spend the money to improve public facilities. I personally agree that the money should be use for constructing school and hospital to increase the inhabitant prosperity.

These days, many buildings has been built higher than in the past because it makes the appearance of the city more glamour and attractive. The buildings not only tall but also have an impressive architecture. The architec make an amazing design because they want people who live in the building feel comfort. This condition also attract many visitors to come to see or to take a picture of the buildings.

On the other hand, many public facilities like school and hospital need a construction. Many school buildings in the city which has poor condition and makes the student feel afraid when they have to learn inside of the class. Government also need to help people who are poor by built a hospital so that they do not need to feel anxious when one of their family is sick.

It is better for government if they use the money to help people in under poverty line by constructing school and hospital. Right now, there are so many great buildings so government have to think another important thing like school and hospital not only about the image of the city.

To conclude, constructing many eloquent buildings or constructing school and hospital have the same importance but in my view it is better to prioritize school and hospital to inhabitants prosperity.

Writing Feedback / The Reasons To Save Whales - whales are endangered animals and near extinction (Summary TED) [4]

Right now, whale are endangered and near extinction because people hunt them and it is started from 200 years ago. People were hunted whale in order to take their meat, oil, or whale bones. In the '70s Save Whale Movement made a campaign to stop commercial of using whale to attract people and in early '80s this campaign had a successful result. Government banned to air a commercial whaling. Many people think that whale should be saved because of its charismatic and beautiful but actually whale is an ecosystem engineer which maintain stability and health of the ocean also provide services to human communities.

There are two main things of whales which help ecosystem, the poop and the corpse. Whale pump (poop) are contains of much essential nutrients to entire ecosystem. Whale carcasses provide a food to other fishes and help to delay global warming. When the corpse washed up in beaches it's provide feast to many species in land. People need to stop whaling and revise their thinking to save the whale not only for whale sake but also for human itself.

Link : ted.com/talks/asha_de_vos_why_you_should_care_about_whale_poo#t-90122

Writing Feedback / Summary Article about Cholera epidemic in Haity [3]

Many inhabitants in Haity are suffered from Cholera, 9,200 people died from 770,000 people who get the disease. Cholera is a disease which is happened because of Vibrio Cholerae and the symptoms are diarrhea, vomiting, and cramping also dehydration and shock if there are no treatment.Cholera will spread easily if the area has poor sanitation and hygiene. In Haity, there is a river which people use to be a primary source for drinking but it lacking sanitation and people consuming it without a proper treatment. This disease can be prevented through careful sanitation and hygiene. People need to use bottled with unbroken seals, and treat the water with chlorine or boil it at least a minute. By washing hands after using bathroom, before and after eating also can help people to prevent the disease. The most important thing to prevent it by properly disposing human waste by locating the sanitation system away from body of water for about 98 feet or 30 meters.

Link : news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/08/haiti-cholera-crisis-united-nations-admission/

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1 Charity From City Council To Book Clubs [2]

The line graph gives information about the amount of money which city council give to book clubs over a four-year period. Overall, it can be seen obviously that the both of lines experienced an upward trends and the amount of money was always higher than the number of books.

Looking at the details, in the first two years, the amount of money had a slight incline while the number of books showed a slow decline. In the third year, the two of lines experienced a sharp increased and the amount of money reached a peak at 40,000 euro with 14,000 books. In the last year, the charity went down gradually while the books went up steadily and reached the peak at 30,000 euro with 12,000 books.

The money had highest number in the third year while the books showed a least number in the second year. Although the money rose, the books was not always increased.

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Writing Feedback / Being a tourist destination country has flaw effects like littering, pollution, prostitution, etc. [3]

Question : Some people say that tourism has many negative effects on the countries that people travel to. How true is this statement? What can tourist do to reduce the harmful effects of tourism on local cultures and environments?

Many countries provide tourist destination to attract people to visit their country so that they can get much incomes. However, this condition also gives some negative effects on the country. I believe that many holiday makers will give bad influence to the places where they visited.

One of the negative impacts to environment is littering. When people visit a place, most of them will throw the garbage randomly without thinking of the effects that will happen. Another effect is increase pollution wether the emission or noise. With many visitors come, traffic congestion will happen and the pollution will increase so that will mark the environment. Exploring under water also will give bad influence to the coral reefs and other fishes in the sea.

The social culture in that country also will changes. Drugs, alcohol problems, prostitution, child labour will happen in a country which provide many tourism places. Most of foreigners come not only sightseeing but also enjoying the night lives which the place provides. It means the number of the places which provide prostitution and others will increase. If it is continue to happen it will reduce the traditional cultures and values of a country.

People need to stop to litter and follow the rule which government make. If they want to explore, they have to keep the environment to stay as they are. By creating alternative source like ecotourism, it can help to reduce the harmful effects.

In conclusion, become a tourist destination country has flaw effects to culture and environment like littering, pollution, prostitution and others. By following and respecting the rules also conserving environment can help the country to decrease the impacts.

Writing Feedback / "The Danger of Silence" - Summary TED [4]

Clint Smith is a teacher who challenge his student to explore the silence by poetry in order to feel safe in sharing information. He also a catholic and he always taught that people need to sacrifice something. He gave up on many things like energy drink, junk food and one day he gave up in speaking for a year. Finally he realized that he actually gave up on speaking a long time ago. He never told others about what people need but only told them what they wanted to hear. He also remembered that he unaware to homeless people and he just passed by and only looked at his phone pretend that he did not see anyone. He discovered that he need to change himself because silence is the residue of fear and he have to get rid of it. He decided to talk what people need to heard and talk freely because the effects of silence can lead to violence, discrimination and war.

Link : ted.com/talks/clint_smith_the_danger_of_silence?language=en#t-66711

Writing Feedback / Obesity has been proven to trigger many illnesses in children [3]

Summary Article Childhood Obesity

Obesity in children can make them get many diseases in the future. Between 1995 and 2011, obesity in children rose from 11 to 17 per cent of boys and 12 to 16 per cent of girls.The increasing number of childhood obesity make government think that they need to make a plan to tackle this problem. The plans are by increasing physical activities in schools and encouraging food companies to reduce sugar in their products. Kind of foods that need to reduce sugar such as yoghurt, bread and drink. In the first year, the company only need to reduce 5 per cent and gradually reduce to 20 per cent. Primary school also need to ensure that their students do physical activities at least 60 minutes per day. Government also has a strategy to give the money from levy on sugar drinks to school to support sports equipment and breakfast club. On the other hand, many people criticised this plan but government still have to do this strategy because it's a government duties to secure the health and future of the next generation.

Link : newscientist.com/article/2101573-childhood-obesity-strategy-stops-short-of-banning-junk-food-ads/

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 Make A Hobby Become A Job [3]

Many people make their hobbies become their jobs in order to feel comfort and enjoy when they have to do the work. By loving what they do, they will feel happy whatever it is. However, others think that it is not the most important factor. I believe that there are many other factors more important like make their family happier than only doing what they love but their family not.

When inhabitant enjoy the job as part of their hobbies, they will give their best and get maximal result. For example, many people like to take a picture of a landscape or people expression and they make it as their job to be a photographer. Also they can gain money from it although it is not much.

On the other hand, others believe that they nees to separate between hobby and job. Hobby is something that they can do in their pastime but job is an obligation which they have to do everyday. Hobbies such as fishing or taking picture they can do when they need to refresh their mind.

People who make their hobby as a job mostly have lower income than who really work in a company or be a civil servant. They did not work everyday only when people need them so it does not earn enough money. People should make much income in order to make their family feel happy.

To shorten, by doing a job that people love can make them feel happy but they still have to think about their family happiness. If they can make their family happy, they will feel happy too.